Back home
by TheFlutteryButterfly
Summary: "I smiled and looked into my daughter s beautiful eyes, like her father s, the father she will never know..." Secrets, surprises, coincidences and a single mom Bella in the middle! AH
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 BPOV**

**A DAY IN THE LIFE OF BELLA SWAN**

I stirred gently in bed. The birds outside were already gossiping announcing another morning and I knew that my alarm would buzz soon. The red numbers on the digital clock read 6:56 which meant that I had four more minutes before my day began. The girls would awake any moment now, excited about another day in their new crèche. I turned the alarm off and slipped out of the warmth of the sheets. Hoping for a quick, uninterrupted shower I hurried to the bathroom, leaving the door ajar slightly, in case my little birdies decided to leap out from their cozy nests.

It was half past seven. I had showered, dressed and put some make up on and my daughters` bedroom was still quiet, so I began humming and making little sounds announcing the arrival of another day. Moments later I heard a couple of lazy yawns and pitter patter of little feet on the wooden floor.

"Mommy!" I was suddenly embraced by four arms, sloppy kisses on my cheeks, my shirt tugged on, my hair pulled, oh! the joys of motherhood. We rushed to the potty, brushed teeth and put on the clothes that Kate (the Angel Kate!) had laid out the previous night. Breakfast was a bit messy, I was going to tidy it up later. After putting fruit, yogurts and hot lunches, again prepared by Angel Kate, into the childrens` lunch bags and grabbing the coats, we were out the door.

After dropping the girls off I drove back home, cleaned up the kitchen and made a cup of coffee before having to rush again. I looked around at the stack of large carton boxes.

_I really need to unpack the rest of our things; we moved in here three months ago for God`s sake! Bad Bella. _

It used to be so much easier in Phoenix, but now it was time to move on. Coming back to the state of Washington was equally good and bad. Well, maybe not bad, but things had changed; I had changed and with the two birdies my whole life was different now. Although I had been to Seattle many times before, I had never lived here. For the last three months I had been becoming familiar with the streets, the stores, coffee shops and all the places where my two-year-old daughters could use the bathroom in emergencies. The challenging thing was that I didn`t have my mom with me anymore. Not that she was particularly maternal, but after Rachel and Sophie were born, she saved my sanity. Now, two years and four months later, it was time for Bella to step up and be a big girl.

Since Kate was collecting the girls from school, I didn`t need the car outside the office and decided to walk to work as it would only take ten minutes anyway. The morning breeze played with my hair. I wished a couple of my new neighbors a good day. Although I wasn`t entirely new to the town, I was starting my life all over again and I liked to walk to work when the weather was good, to clear my head and take in the new environment.

For as long as I could remember, I had enjoyed reading. Even for the teenage me, there wasn`t much weighing when it came to a night out with a bunch of buddies versus a mug of hot chocolate and a good book; I almost always stayed at home with the book. Maybe that`s why my mother told me numerous times that I was born thirty five years old and got older every year. If that`s true, then I was hitting sixty seven in less than two weeks. I laughed at the thought.

Newton Publishing was a welcoming place, I was lucky to have gotten that editor`s job. There was one girl on a maternity leave and two more going within the next couple of months, so I had been asked to take the full time position until the end of May next year. After that I could change and work part time, just like I had wanted initially. Good thing I could do a lot of work from home, in case the girls needed me or if Kate wasn't available to look after them. At the moment I was editing and reviewing some books for young readers about vampires and werewolves and it was fun.

At lunch break I decided to have a look around for that `dress to impress` that I had been thinking about for a while. Instead of going to the mall I opted for checking out the small places not far from the office; it was supposed to be a special and unique dress after all. I was determined to show everyone that I was doing well and_ that _was going to take a lot out of me to convince my family, especially my mother. I thought that new attire for my event wouldn't hurt. I usually don't spend much time and money on clothes, I know what suits and fits me and I tend to stick with it. With two little girls running around me, comfort is what I need the most, but this was different. For the first time I was on my own with my daughters and I wished to try all I could to feel and look confident.

I walked along the streets and looked at the coffee shops and boutiques and one caught my attention. It was called simply, "Alice`s". Two dresses in the window were truly beautiful; the colors, the fabrics and the designs caught my attention and although I was looking for something black and not happy floral, I went in. A petite woman around my age was talking to a customer. She was slim, with big blue eyes and short-ish black hair kicked out in pretty much all the directions possible. She looked lovely in her floral dress and flat white shoes, clearly from the boutique, and she reminded me of a ballerina. The little store had an interesting feel to it, there were a lot of flowers around, real and those printed on fabrics. There was lace, silk, soft cotton and wool, mostly in pastel colors. The young woman herself looked like she was floating. I looked around and touched a couple of shawls, they were all original and each one was one of a kind.

"Hello!" The woman called to me when we were alone. She had a melodic, bell-like voice. I turned around and saw her whole face smiling.

"Hello. I have never been here before, but this is lovely," I said waving my hand around the place.

"Thank you very much."

"You have very original designs."

"I try my best," she said with appreciation.

"Oh, so you are actually –"

"Alice, yes. This is my little world. I studied design in London and I`m hoping to bring that English feel to Seattle."

"I can certainly feel it! I am actually looking for a little black dress, but the flowers caught my attention."

The place really brought to mind a picnic in an English countryside. Not that I`ve been to England but I was familiar with Jane Austen and that`s what England looked like in my mind.

"I _have_ a couple of black dresses," Alice exclaimed joyfully, "Please follow me upstairs."

We went up and I saw two other women there. Upon seeing us, one of them excused herself and floated down the stairs to take care of the clients who had just entered. The other woman smiled politely and then disappeared through the adjacent door. Alice showed me three black cocktail dresses, each different, classy and beautiful. Beside them, on a small table was a catalogue with photos of some more black numbers.

"They are all gorgeous," I said honestly.

"Thank you. The girls here and I make them ourselves form the design to the last stitch. You can also choose one from the catalogue if you wish and it will be ready in about a week`s time."

"Oh, that would be wonderful," I didn't know what to look at, the dresses or the pictures in the catalogue. "I was thinking about a classic `pencil` one, but I don't want to feel like I`m at a business meeting."

Alice laughed briefly, her eyes crinkled, "I understand. It`s all about accessorizing if you ask me, but if I may, I think you have a beautiful figure and it would be a shame to hide it in a straight, angular shape. Are you planning on wearing anything over it?" She seemed to be examining me.

"I`m not sure yet. I have black peep toe heels with gem stones on them, they are very elegant and classy and I think that would be enough of sparkles. I haven't thought of what I would wear over the dress. It`s an outfit for a special occasion and I wouldn't like to have anything in my way at the restaurant while eating."

"Alright," Alice smiled, "I`m sorry for looking at you like that, but I think…" she tapped her foot on the floor and turned around, "I might have something… right here…"

She pulled a mannequin over to me. On it was a figure hugging dress, with a low but still modest dècolletè, and flowing gently from the waist to the knees. It was perfect.

"As I said, you have a lovely feminine figure and this would show off your neck and hips while hugging your waist closely. If you want something simple, you can put a thin chain around your neck and you`ll be ready to go."

"That sounds great," I admitted, thinking of my grandma Swan`s necklace hiding in my jewelry box at home.

I tried the dress on and Alice took a look at me. I stood up straight. The dress was elegant and I felt… like a million dollars. The only thing was it was a bit too wide around my hips.

Clearly Alice saw no problem with that, "The top part is perfect. I could fix the lower bit for… say… it`s just a small alteration…" she was thinking and speaking to herself. "…the day after tomorrow! Could you pop in for a fitting then?"

"I could, thank you. I really love it. I`ll bring my shoes to see how they go together," I was excited about clothes, weird.

"Great! Oh, excuse me, I better take this," she picked up the ringing phone and I disappeared in the fitting room to change back into my clothes. There was nobody else upstairs now and although I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I heard Alice`s phone conversation clearly.

"_Oh, hello my favorite brother! Don't tell Emmett, though!" _her laughter sounded like a song.

"_Friday night?... Oh, are you working?... Well, how about brunch then?... Say, eleven?... Yes, so I`m back before the girls here have their lunch break… OK… Jasper is leaving tomorrow night, yes… Hugo`s fine, thank you, I think he misses his uncle, though… We should, absolutely, we`ll do something together at the weekend, how about that?... OK, Edward, Friday at eleven… Uhm, call me if anything changes, right?... Bye!_

I left the room and saw Alice floating around an antique-looking desk and checking a notebook, "So, your alteration will be done for Friday," she said with a smile and after I nodded, she scribbled something on the paper.

We exchanged business cards with our names, work addresses and phone numbers if we needed to contact each other regarding the fitting. I left the boutique and went for a sandwich and coffee round the corner. It was a nice, sunny day with a delicate breeze blowing in my hair and it felt good. I liked Seattle. I used to think that it would be tough to get used to rain after a decade in hot, sunny Phoenix, but it hadn't been so bad, maybe because we moved at the beginning of June. Today was lovely and after lunch I went back to the office in a surprisingly good mood. I hadn't been overly stressed anyway, but something in the past hour calmed me down.

I entered the building with Victoria, the artistic designer. She must have been out for lunch, too.

"Hi, Bella, how are you?" she threw her red mane around.

"I`m great, thanks. How is James?"

"Marvelous! He`s perfect!" She exclaimed and winked at me.

When I joined the team a couple of months ago, Victoria decided to make me her new best friend. By the end of my first day I had heard all about her huge crush on a guy called James. For weeks she`d be telling me how amazing he was. Then one day she begged me to go on a double date with her, James and a friend of his. She had been friendly and I couldn't refuse her puppy eyes. I didn't know many people in town and thought that a chat and a little fun would be an interesting change.

(flashback)

_The guy looked decent, handsome even. His name was Corin, nice name I thought. AT the restaurant we sat down and ordered our food. Victoria and James were into each other straight away, I don't really know why she needed me there in the first place. They were supposed to be at this early stage of a relationship, but looked like they were already going to eat each other and I just shook my head and blinked my eyes every time I saw another flirty smirk or heard a heavy sigh. Corin stared at me intensely, his eyes raked over me often. Had we been alone, I would have commented out loud, but my going on that date was a favor to Victoria and I didn't want to make a scene; the guy was only looking, I kept telling myself. Once I asked about his job and hobbies, there was no stopping him. He barely breathed; the words were spilling out of his mouth so fast. _

_Victoria and James left soon after dinner and I was ready to call it a day as well. Apart from the annoying verbal diarrhoea, Corin was a nice enough guy. I`d only had a chance to tell him about my job in editing, before he started listing his favorite books, but I thought maybe he was nervous and wanted to make a good first impression. We got a cab to my place and Corin said he would walk me to the door and then go home. After all the ogling he had subjected me to earlier on I had my doubts regarding his plans or hopes for the rest of the night. There was no way I was going to invite him in. While still in the cab he placed his hand on my knee. I grabbed my bag and plunked it on my lap, forcing him to move the hand away. I rummaged the bag for my keys and yawned._

"_Oh, excuse me, but it`s been a long day. I just hope the little ones let me sleep in a bit in the morning."_

"_The little ones?" Corin`s eyebrows raised in surprise._

"_My daughters," I informed him and was faced with horror on his handsome face._

"_I didn't know you had kids."  
_

_Maybe I would have told you, had you given me a chance to speak! I thought to myself._

"_I have. Two."_

"_Right," he stated coldly and I knew the night was over. He didn't ask about them, he just stopped talking all together. I could tell he felt awkward and I laughed inside. Poor guy was counting on a roll in the hay and he was disappointed. Naughty Bella. Needless to say, Corin didn't walk me to the door, he suddenly remembered he had something to do and threw a quick goodnight at me before I heard the car speed away. _

_I`d had almost three years of cock-blocking practice, I was an expert. Just throw into the conversation that you are a single parent and voila, whether you like the guy or not, he`s gone. I had met guys who on the first date were either so eager to be daddies that they would give me parental advice and teach me how to raise my children, or flee the scene as soon as they found out that I was a mom and romantic getaways every weekend were out of question. _

(end of flashback)

Half an hour later I stuck some pages of the book I was working on into a folder and decided to finish the editing at home. It was still pleasant outside and I walked to the house, then called Kate to say that I would pick the girls up myself.

My little ones were surprised and delighted to see me. We went for a walk in the park and had ice cream. Sophie and Rachel found a ball in the boot of our car and we threw and kicked it around until we were exhausted. For a while we stuck our faces up to the sun and watched the clouds, guessing their shapes; then the girls giggled and rolled in the grass as I read a couple of pages of the vampires and werewolves book.

"Hi there!" I heard from behind us.

I turned my head to find the source of the voice. "Oh, hi Maggie, how are you?"

Maggie was our next door neighbors` daughter. Siobhan and Liam were an Irish couple who moved to Seattle when Maggie, now seventeen, was small. They were a breath of fresh air, at hearts ten years younger, not older, than me. All three of them had a strong Irish accent, were full of jokes and always told you like it was. I liked them. They would share their last bite of bread with a stranger and Maggie was a testament to her parents. She babysat my little monkeys sometimes and they adored her, she was funny and exuberant just like the two of them.

She stopped by for a minute with her school friend. Everybody seemed to have been taking advantage of the weather, the park was full of people walking, jogging and picnicking.

My daughters and I walked to the car a while later. We were getting hungry.

I drove home slowly. Just round the corner from our street I stopped at the red lights. A young couple was crossing the road in front of my car. They were holding hands and stealing pecks from each other. Then suddenly they stopped altogether right in the middle of the crossing, the boy pulled the girl in closely and their lips locked passionately. I watched them amused as they didn't care about the world. A moment later the boy noticed me and waved at me sheepishly, but with a blissful glow on his face. I waved back and smiled. They walked on and I continued on my way home.

"What did they do, Mommy?" Rachel asked.

"They kissed," I explained simply.

"Oh," she sighed. "Why?"

"Probably because they love each other, baby. I kiss you as well, don't I?"

"Yes."

"It`s because I love you and Sophie very much."

"Oh!"

A few minutes later I opened the door and two little people whooshed through from behind me. They ran to the bathroom to wash hands and then to the kitchen to see Kate. Kate was a tall brunette, a couple of years younger than me and doing her last year of business studies. She needed a part time job and I responded to her add in the paper just two days after moving to Seattle. She collected Rachel and Sophie from school and did some housekeeping before I got back from work. She was very easy going and the girls loved her, often I would find all three of them in the kitchen cooking together or over a large piece of paper on the dining room floor painting with their hands, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hi!" She called to the three of us.

"Hi, Kate, how are things?" I asked putting the kids` school lunchboxes away.

"Things are good. I have done some cooking for you, there`s chicken casserole and lots of vegetable sauce for pasta. I`ve left some out for tonight and I`ll freeze the rest. Are you hungry?"

"Starving!" I let out, then I looked at the counter tops full of deliciously looking food. "Kate, we could feed a small army here. When did you have time to do it, we`ve only been out for like, three hours."

"Three hours is plenty. By the way, I have changed all of your bed sheets as well. It`s so beautiful outside, I reckoned the laundry would dry nicely out in the fresh air."

"I was going to change the bed sheets tonight. Thank you, Kate, I don't know what I would do without you."

"Ah, you know what they say `the same, but with someone else`", she laughed.

I thought that after all the rolling around in the grass the children needed a nice wash, so I chased them into the bathroom. They were tired and we settled for a quick shower, then dried, found fresh pajamas and went back to the kitchen to have some chicken with rice and veggies. Kate stayed with us and we talked about our day.

When we were alone, the girls wanted to say goodnight to Grandma Renèe and Grandpa Phil, so I called my mom in Phoenix. After fifteen minutes of my kids giggling, singing and joking on the phone I finally had a chance to speak to Renèe.

"Bella, sweetheart, I hear the girls are in great form. And how are you?"

"I`m great Mom, thank you. I still like the job, the house is a home now and we are healthy and happy. I`m glad that the children went to the summer camp in school because they got to meet their teachers before the term started. They love it. Kate is amazing, she does so much more than I had expected, I mean the cooking, cleaning and minding Sophie and Rachel. I`ve been really lucky."

"That`s good, baby. We miss you here, you know? I can`t wait till your birthday, it`s gonna be wonderful! I bet I won`t recognize my granddaughters."

"It won`t be that bad, Mom," I laughed.

"Are you happy, Bella?" She asked me, all joking in her voice gone, "Have you met anyone?"

_Here we go again._

"Yes, I`m happy, no, I haven't met anyone. Mom, please, we have talked about it so many times -"

"I know, but I want the best for you, sweetie," she sounded worried and determined at once.

"Mom, a woman can be happy without a man, you know that, you had been alone for fourteen years before you met Phil!"

"OK, I won`t push you. You are much more mature and independent than I will ever be, Bella. I`m very proud of you and I love you."

"I love you too, Mom. I know you worry and I know you want me to be happy, but I am turning thirty two years old in a week and a half and I need to be taken just as I am. Please, let`s not turn our calls into some broken records. I am getting a fresh start. You know what men say about women and relationships, `why would I buy a cow if I just want some milk`? Well, I learned a new one about women`s attitude toward men, `why would I buy a pig if I only want one sausage!` I can get a guy and sleep with him and feel `like a woman`, but it`s not about that and you know it."

"I know, baby, I know."

"If it ever comes, I will recognize it, Mom, believe me."

"I love you," Renèe stated emotionally.

My mom and dad met when they were teenagers. They got married right after high school and soon I was on the way. Charlie was a typical small town boy, but Renee wanted to see at least a bit of America, if not the world. She was hare-brained, eccentric, creative and bubbly. When they were dating it was great, but when marriage and a baby came to play, my mom was suffocating and eventually left Charlie when I was nine months old. My Dad stayed in Forks and became chief of police there, while Mom, a preschool teacher, raised me on her own in Phoenix. I would visit my dad in Forks every summer and every time I saw him I thought that he never really got over my mom; pictures of her were still around the house. He was alone all those years, just like Renee was alone in Phoenix. At last, when I was fifteen, Mom met Phil, a baseball player in a minor league. They married a year later. Phil traveled a lot and Renèe was torn between wanting to stay home with me and going on the road with her husband. We discussed it numerous times and I decided that I would move back to Forks and stay with my dad, in theory just until Mom and Phil decided on a new, steady address. I was going to go to college anyway though, so it didn't make a difference to me anymore whether Mom was near me or not. The beginnings in Forks were challenging, from the weather to my dad`s quietness, but I realized that I was very much like Charlie. Mom was always on the go, coming home from work and then running to yoga, cooking classes, Italian lessons…

Charlie plunked himself in front of the television every night, put on a sports channel and was as happy as Larry. I, for a change, could stay in my room all day long with books. I read classics and contemporary literature, poetry, kids` books, whatever I could get. And I wrote my own stories, too. There was no question as to what I wanted to study; English literature was the obvious choice for me. I left for university and some time later I found that Charlie was seeing Sue, a single mother of two teenagers. Sue used to be married to one of my dad`s friends, Harry. After Harry`s fatal heart attack my dad visited Sue to see how she was coping after her husband`s death. One thing led to another and some time later when I came to see Charlie at Christmas, Sue was well settled in my father`s life, house, bed… I remembered Sue from my childhood and I was delighted for my dad. He seemed content and smiley. Meanwhile Mom and Phil traveled around a bit, but in the end Phil got a coaching job in Phoenix, so they went back and stayed there very happily.

I followed the twins upstairs to their bedroom. They squeezed themselves in Rachel`s bed and we read one of their favorite stories.

"Mommy, is Grandma coming soon?" Sophie`s sleepy voice was hopeful.

"Yes, she is. Remember, Mommy`s birthday is coming soon and we are going to have a party?" I brushed an unruly strand of hair away from her face.

Rachel popped her thumb out of her mouth, "And Grandpa Phil?"

"Grandpa Phil is coming too, of course. And Grandpa Charlie and Sue… "

"That`s a lot of people, Mommy!" Sophie called out and chuckled.

I chuckled back, "I know! I think we are very lucky girls, so many people love us, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Sophie agreed.

"You know what, Mommy went to buy a new dress for the party today –"

"Can I see it?!" Rachel was excited.

"Well, it was a little too big, so the lady is going to fix it and I will show it to you in a couple of days, OK?" I was still playing with Sophie`s hair.

_I suddenly remembered. After I told Victoria about Alice`s boutique, she told me that Alice had a small section of children`s clothes and I should ask her about it. I hadn't seen any outfits for kids, but then again, I was busy with the fitting. I`ll go to `Alice`s` again tomorrow and check._

"You know what, angel, it`s a very special occasion, Mommy`s birthday and the new job and our new home and your new school… I think we should get you two new dresses as well!"

"Beautiful Mommy, Sophie and Chichi!" Sophie exclaimed.

I lowered my voice and squinted my eyes, "I think _we_ look beautiful _every_ day, but you`re right, we`ll be extra gorgeous on Mommy`s birthday!"

_And my family and friends will see that we are doing great, that I can manage perfectly well on my own. They will see that I`m happy and content and not crying somewhere in the corner. I will wear the fucking Prada heels that I spent ridiculous money on and I will hold my head high!_

Sophie climbed into her bed and I kissed her forehead, then her cheeks, her chin and the nose; that was our routine. She giggled as usually and I pressed my lips to her forehead again.

"I love you, my sweetie pie. Sleep well."

"Good night, Mommy."

I came back to Rachel`s bed, "Good night, my angel." I repeated the kissing game, the forehead, left cheek, right cheek, chin, nose and the forehead again.

"Nightie night!" She laughed. I smiled and looked into her beautiful eyes, like her father`s, the father she will never know… 

**AN: Let me know what you think… **

**There`s an album with photos accompanying the story, please use the link on my profile!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine, but this story line is!**

**Thank you all for subscribing, adding the story to your favourites and the lovely reviews!**

**We`re meeting Edward this time, so let`s get on with the story…**

**Chapter 2 BPOV**

**MONKEY BUSINESS**

In the morning I called Alice to ask her about childrens` clothes in her boutique. What I had thought would be a minute long exchange turned into a half hour talk, by the end of which Alice and I knew a bit about each other`s lives. There was such a natural flow to our chatting, that I almost forgot I had just met that woman the day before. Alice is one year younger than me, married to Jasper, a college professor, and they have a five-year-old son Hugo. She studied design in the English capital and loves visiting her friends there, though she doesn't have time to do that as often as she would like to. I told her about my daughters and our recent move from Phoenix.

At lunch I went to `Alice `s` to look at the dresses she had told me about. I pushed the door open and was welcomed like an old friend. Immediately I felt calm and comfortable. We went up the stairs and Alice let me into a room next to the one with black dresses. The previous day I thought it was an office and staff room. Alice said that the kids` section had only been open for the past couple of weeks and it was still work in progress. I realized that was where her second assistant disappeared when I was trying on my dress on Wednesday. The clothes were lovely and pretty much the same style as the ladies` ones, made of colorful cotton, silk, wool and decorated with sequins, lace and embroidery. Even the boy t-shirts were cool and cute at the same time. My eyes traveled to the girls` dresses obviously, with Sophie and Rachel in mind. I chose a plum colored dress made of silk and velvet for Sophie and a gorgeous green one for Rachel, with rows of ruffles running down the whole length of it. They were both A-line, with tiny short sleeves. I loved them straight away. Alice suggested I that brought them home for the girls to try on and I could bring them back on Friday in case they didn't fit.

I couldn't believe that after the chat in the morning I still spent the whole lunch hour with Alice. She was so vibrant, floating and bouncing around again like a dancer. She told me a bit more about England and Ireland and I mentioned my Irish neighbors.

The rest of the day flew by. Rachel and Sophie were over the moon with their new dresses; they put them on and I had to bribe them with an extra story at bedtime so they would agree to change into pajamas instead!

_I have never been fashion conscious, I wear mainly pant suits to work and jeans and simple shirts at weekends, where did _they_ get this from?_

…..

Friday morning was lovely, dry and sunny. In fact the whole weekend was supposed to be nice and as I was driving the girls to school we sang happy, sunny songs.

Everybody at the office seemed excited about two days off coming up. My two morning meetings went well and I was sent two new chapters of a new novel I was editing; all was good.

I grabbed the bag with my black pumps and strolled down the street to Alice`s boutique.

"Hello!"

"Hi Bella!" Alice welcomed me with her trademark grin.

"You look very happy, is it Friday?" I joked.

"That too, but I`m just back from brunch with my brother. How was your morning?"

"Very nice, thank you. The week is wrapping up great."

"Wonderful. So, shall we go upstairs, your dress is ready?" She motioned me to the staircase.

"Yes, please. I`ve brought my shoes with me."

I slipped into my little black number and took out the shoes.

"Oh, shoot me, they are beautiful, Bella!" Alice admired my pumps with sparkling eyes.

"Thank you, I don't usually care that much to be honest, but this is a special occasion and I spent a fortune on these," I handed one to Alice.

"Prada! Wow!"

"I have a soft spot for peep toe pumps…" I smiled.

"Bella, they are absolutely perfect and with the dress… you look stunning."

I expected to be pleased with the final outcome, but that would be an understatement; I loved it, I was delighted.

"It`s so beautiful Alice, thank you."

She looked at me approvingly, "I love it. You know, you look fantastic showing off your top a little."

"Thanks. I used to be smaller in this department, but after the pregnancy these two puppies stayed with me," I pressed my hands over my breasts and we both giggled.

"I`m the same. I had a friend in London who lost her boobs after breastfeeding; they just went down. But mine grew and stayed. My husband used to joke that there was probably milk still in them… Anyway, I`m being inappropriate now," she looked away embarrassed.

We talked for a while longer and made plans to meet up for lunch on Monday. Alice was funny, witty and easy to talk to, and I was looking forward to seeing her again. We were different, but I needed somebody smiley around me and for some reason I felt drawn to her.

A few hours later I left the office and drove to the stores for some groceries. As I was choosing tubs of ice cream, I got a text message from Alice saying that she was terribly sorry, but one of the girls from her shop got the news about her mom being sick and she wouldn't be back from Port Angeles until Wednesday the following week, so our Monday lunch wasn't going to work.

Not to worry, I thought, we`ll have lunch next week.

The girls were home, painting.

"Hello, my artists!" I kneeled down for hugs. My clothes were going in the wash so it didn't matter that I was soon covered in green, yellow and red, because my daughters were painting flowers and had colors all over their hands as well as paintbrushes. Kate was no better. I stayed with them for a while and we created a couple more masterpieces. Then Kate left for the kitchen to put the spinach quiche in the oven and I took the little ones upstairs for a bath.

"Splish! Splash!" A family of rubber ducks bounced up and down on the surface of water. I sat beside the tub, with my sweatpants and t-shirt stuck to my body, as usual.

"Sorry, Mommy!" Rachel noticed my wet clothes, but continued splashing. Her giggles echoed around the room.

"OK cheeky monkeys, feet up, I want to see your toes! Are you shrinking yet?" Two sweet little feet, one Rachel`s, one Sophie`s emerged above the surface. I only looked at them, not wanting to tickle the children while in the tub. "Yes, you`re shrinking, it`s time to get out now. I don`t want you do vanish!"

"Mommy, this one, this one!" Sophie stuck up her other foot.

"This one too, they`re both shrinking, Soph," I chuckled at the hope in her two-year-old eyes.

I helped the girls out of the tub, Sophie stepped right into the large towel that I was holding and I wrapped it around her. Rachel slipped. I caught her quickly, but some water managed to splash all over me again, making me look like a "wet t-shirt" contestant. I would have to change and dry my hair.

"Sorry, Mommy, that was an _assent_," My daughter said when I held her safely in my arms.

"I know, sweetie, it was only an _accident_," I couldn`t help but smile.

We sang "Mary had a little lamb" and "Old McDonald had a farm" as the girls slipped into their pajamas. Then we heard a loud `OW!` coming from the kitchen.

"Kate, are you alright?!" I shouted downstairs.

She shouted something inarticulate back to me and I had a bad feeling. Kate sounded hurt. I wanted to keep the kids safe from what they could possibly see, so I told them to stay in their bedroom and ran downstairs.

_No blood, please, let there be no blood, I`m bad with blood._

An unfinished dinner sat on the counters. There were no red pools anywhere.

_Thank you!_

"Kate, what`s wrong?!" I looked at her holding her jaw. She had an awful grimace on her face and was clearly crying from pain. She shook her head. I looked at her closely.

"O woo…" She managed to say.

"What is it? Did you cut yourself?"

She shook her head again and pointed at her mouth. "Oof."

"Oof? You mean your _tooth_?"

She nodded and took her hand away from her jaw for a moment, her face twisted in pain. "I fink I fipt my foof"

I thought for a second. "You think you _chipped_ your tooth? And it`s bad."

Kate nodded again.

"Well, we need to get you to the dentist."

_Shit, it`s a Friday evening, where will I find a dentist? Given my luck I`ll soon be on the first name terms with the ER staff at the nearest hospital, but dentists? OK, OK, think Bella, think. A chipped tooth can`t be that bad, but Kate seems to be in awful pain. _

I grabbed a phone book and raced back to the girls` room. They were playing happily with building blocks, probably erecting some impressive princess castle. I told them that Kate had hurt her tooth and we`d be taking her to the doctor and I needed them to be Mommy`s special helpers. I flipped through some pages in the book and looked for dental practitioners in the area. The first number I dialed didn`t answer. The answering machine on the second one informed me that the doctor was currently on vacation…

_Great, I have an emergency here and you`re basking in the sunshine, shame on you doc! OK, Bells, calm down, you can do it! _

I dialed another number and heard an answering machine; didn`t listen to this one though. I nudged the girls and we walked downstairs. I waved my hand at Kate while dialing another number.

_If this one is unavailable, I`m bringing Kate to ER, that`s it. _

I grabbed some crackers for the children, two small jackets, a tracksuit top for me and was just about to open the door, when I heard a female voice in the receiver.

"Good evening, Dr. Davidovic`s surgery, how can I help you?"

"Hi!" Three pairs of eyes fixed on me as I grinned overexcitedly. "I mean, hello. Sorry, I`m just surprised you`re still open. My name is Bella Swan. My friend has chipped her tooth and is in a lot of pain, could we possibly come over to you?"

"Yes, of course, emergencies get priority treatment. I`m afraid Dr. Davidovic is unavailable for a few days though, and Dr. Cullen is here instead, would that be alright with you?"

"As long as he`s a dentist, I see no problem," I attempted a joke, relieved that things would be taken care of.

"He certainly is," the lady chortled, "How long will it take you to get here?"

"No more than ten minutes, fifteen at the most."

"That`s OK, I`ll tell doctor Cullen right away. What`s the patient`s name, please?" 

"It`s Kate Brandon."

"Alright, we`ll see Miss Brandon in a while then."

"Thank you so much!"

I jumped, I actually jumped for joy!

_What`s the doctor`s name again? Cullen. Well, Doctor Cullen, I love you and I may just kiss you when I see you!_

Rachel and Sophie looked a bit worried. They were tired and hungry, so I hoped we`d be back home soon enough.

I opened the door only to see Maggie passing our house on her bicycle. She saw us and rode over.

"Hi there, how are you?" Her initial smile changed into surprise and worry. "Are you OK? Is there a pajama party around that I don`t know about?"

"No, Kate has chipped her tooth and we`re bringing her to the dentist."

"Oh, I see," She looked at a miserable Kate and mouthed `I`m sorry.` Kate nodded her head and hissed in pain.

"Bella, do you want me to stay with the girls? I don't mind. I have a friend coming over for a movie in about two hours, but I`m sure you`ll be back by then."

"Could you do that?" I asked hopefully. Kate sat in the car holding her jaw tightly and I could almost feel her pain. I looked at the girls and they were already laughing with Maggie who was making funny faces at them.

Minutes later Kate was sitting in a dental chair, Sophie and Rachel were at home with their babysitter and I, after giving Kate`s details to the doctor`s secretary, collapsed in a plush chair in the waiting area. I browsed through some magazines. Twenty minutes later Kate left the surgery, followed by Doctor Cullen himself. I stood up and wanted to smile and rub Kate`s arm soothingly, but once I fixed my eyes on him, the magnetic poles of my planet shifted and I was left with my mouth hanging open, excess of saliva probably dripping from it freely.

_Oh, fuck me._

I mumbled "Hello" and he smiled.

_Holy shit. _

My heart stopped. I squealed inside_. _And then I heard his voice.

_OK, I`m dead._

"Excuse me?" I whispered.

_Christ, Bella, come to your senses!_

"The tooth is actually broken in half, hence the pain. I`ve done what I could for now, but I need to see Miss Brandon again on Monday, OK?" He turned to Kate and she nodded gratefully.

"Thank you very much, Doctor Cullen."

How I managed to say six words in an even voice in this guy`s presence, I will probably never know. All I know is that nothing could have prepared me for what I felt next. I stuck out my hand to shake his. Electricity surged through me and I shivered.

_OK, I`m definitely dead._

"No problem, Mrs…?"

"_Miss_ Swan."

"Oh, no problem, _Miss_ Swan," he smiled beautifully and he turned to shake Kate`s hand. My body cried quietly at the loss of his touch. "Thank you, Miss Brandon. I`ll see you on Monday."

Kate and I got into the car. I think both of us left the surgery somewhat reluctantly, even Kate, who has a gorgeous boyfriend, sighed sadly as she buckled in the seat belt. I looked in the mirror and that was when the horror struck me. My hair was still damp after the girls` bath and stuck to my face and neck, looking like a greasy mess.

_That`s why he smiled and raised his eyebrows looking at me! I was a total single-mother-on-a-Friday-night mess! Shake it off, silly Bella! _

I looked down buckling my belt. Uh-oh… I never put my tracksuit top on! Adrenaline didn`t let me feel cold, but my damp t-shirt still clung to my chest and my little pebbles protruded proudly through my sport bra and cotton t-shirt.

_Great! I just gave the hot doctor a free show, lovely._

"How are you feeling, Kate?"

"Better. Bella, thank you so much! I have my own dentist, but he closes at four on Fridays, besides it hurt like hell, I really couldn't speak."

"No problem at all. How did it happen anyway?"

"Oh, you don`t wanna know." Kate was able to articulate again and I was glad.

"Let me guess, you were trying to open something in the kitchen with your teeth?" It was more of a statement than a question. Kate just nodded sheepishly and I shook my head.

It was half past seven when I got back home. Maggie had served the quiche that Kate had prepared before the disaster stroke, so the girls were fed. They stopped reading their bedtime story as I filled them in on Kate`s situation. She is going to be fine, but has to see _the drool worthy_ I mean, the doctor, on Monday. _And she will lay on a chair beneath him, all vulnerable… his eyes over her face, his fingers in her mouth… shit Bella, what`s wrong with you, girl?!_ Yes, Kate is going back to see the dentist. Ugh.

Maggie said goodnight to the twins and I watched her as she disappeared safely in the house next door, with some money and a tub of Ben and Jerry`s cookie dough ice cream that I put in her hand, so she could eat it with her friend while watching their movie.

What a night! Half an hour later I kissed my daughters goodnight and sat down with a book in the living room. I quickly called Kate and learned that her boyfriend had just come back from work and she was going to be well cared for. Good.

It was almost nine when my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Bella? It`s Alice here, Alice Whitlock."

Oh, thank God, I really needed some cheer after all the madness earlier on, "Alice, great to hear you again!"

"And you too, Bella. I`m so sorry I can`t make it on Monday, but my husband is away at the moment and I`m taking Hugo to the ZOO tomorrow and I was wondering if you and your girls would like to come with us?"

"I would love to, Alice!"

"I know it was supposed to be just the two of us, but -"

"I don`t mind, really. We had a situation here this evening and I`d love to relax. ZOO sounds good."

"Is everything OK?"

"Everyone is in one piece, thank you and don`t worry. I`ll tell you tomorrow. What time will we meet at?" 

"Say eleven? Or is it too early?"

"For two two-year-olds eleven is certainly not too early. They`ll be probably jumping on my bed by seven."

I could hear Alice laugh, "I thought so. Well, I`ll see you tomorrow at eleven then, at the main entrance."

"You will, Alice, thank you."

"Wonderful! Bye, Bella!"

I poured myself a glass of red wine and switched on the tv.

"_The Wedding Date". I know_ _this movie, a romantic_ _comedy_ _set in London; I wonder if Alice is watching_. _Gosh, what happened to me this evening, I mean with the doctor? I have never had such a reaction to a man. I would swoon over Johnny Depp, yes, but a real man, not exactly. That doctor Cullen was hot, though! Tall, about six, maybe six foot two, slim, with pale skin, a strong jaw, green eyes and unusual bronze hair, which was a bit disheveled, but I liked it; it would be nice to run a hand through it. His voice was warm and melodic. Maybe I should go for a check up? Oh, shut it, I bet he gets female patients drooling all over him every day and then he goes back home to his wife and makes sweet love to her night after night…UGH! Bella, this is pathetic, it`s been too long since you`ve had a little sexy fun, and now you`re projecting your fantasies onto an innocent guy. _

In the movie the girl got the boy and they will probably live happily ever after; good for them. I checked on the children, turned off the lights and went to bed.

It was nearly eight o`clock when I felt two little bodies wriggling under my sheets for a Saturday morning cuddle.

_Quite late for them, they must have been exhausted after the whole palaver with the dentist last night._

We exchanged hugs, kisses and squeezes and settled to read a couple of stories before breakfast. I had one little girl on each side of me, their bodies snuggled into mine as we read the usuals, "The very hungry caterpillar", "The Monkey Puzzle" and "Come on, Daisy". We talked about pictures in each book and made animal impressions. Then we just lay down for a couple of minutes, relaxing and playing with each other`s hair. I told Rachel and Sophie about my new friend Alice, who is a mommy to a boy called Hugo and that we were going to meet them at the ZOO. Well, the excitement that erupted, the jumping and skipping around my bedroom made me wonder if I was at the ZOO already!

Dressing and breakfast passed in a flash, my ducklings couldn't wait to go to see the monkeys and the elephants and the giraffes... We picked up jackets in case it got chilly and set for Fermont Avenue.

It was five to eleven when we stood by the entrance. Many families were arriving to spend the day like us and I scanned the growing crowd for a petite woman with a five-year-old boy by her side. Sophie and Rachel were hopping up and down and watching the people around us. I checked my cell for messages or missed calls from Alice, but there was nothing there. At last I noticed her dark hair kicked out like on the first day I met her. I only saw her head at that stage, so I told my twins that Alice was there and put my phone back into my handbag. When I looked up again, she was closer and waved at me. I searched for a little boy near her, but the only young child walking behind Alice was held by someone by the hand, so for a second I wondered if she had changed her plans and didn't bring her son along. But then she turned around and smiled at the boy and the man behind her. They caught up with her and when I looked at the man again, my heart sank…

_Holy shit! It`s the hot doctor! Wait, what was his name, Cullen? Doesn`t Alice`s business card say her name is Whitlock? She must have kept her last name after she got married... I thought her husband was away and she was spending the day with their son…Isn`t he supposed to be a college professor? Must have heard that wrong. Argh! Just my luck; I meet a really lovely girl, I think I might become friends with her and she has to have a husband who I nearly wet myself by looking at? Have mercy, please! Give me a sign that I can handle it!_

"Hi, Bella!" Alice glided towards me and gave me a quick hug. I smiled at her and glanced at the man and the boy. Hugo was simply adorable, but looked nothing like his mother; he had light blond hair and, as I shook his hand and introduced myself, I noticed light brown eyes.

Doctor Cullen and Alice smiled at me and their eyes crinkled, "Bella, please meet my brother Edward."

_Brother?! Wow, well, I can handle a _brother, _I guess!_ _Thank you, Heavens! _

I looked up at his face and he chuckled, "I think we have already met, Alice," and then he took my hand, "Edward."

"You`re joking!" She sang.

"No," I said, feeling my hand wrapped in Edward`s one, "I`m Bella. Good to see you again, Doctor Cullen."

"Oh, you`re Edward`s patient?" Alice was trying to figure us out.

"Not exactly," I explained, "Remember when I told you last night that I`d had a little situation at home?"

Alice nodded.

"Well, our child minder broke her tooth and I brought her to the dentist. It happened to be Edward."

He turned to his sister, "Stefan is away and I`m filling in for him at the moment."

Edward proceeded with introducing himself to Sophie and Rachel with a smile.

"Beautiful names," he said to me and I thanked him.

Alice followed him and shook the girls` hands. Then she winked at me and said that my daughters were absolutely gorgeous and the dresses that I had chosen for them in her shop were going to be perfect on them.

As we walked past the gates, Alice leaned over to me and whispered, "He has a day off and Hugo hasn't seen his uncle for two weeks, I hope you don't mind…"

"Don't be silly, Alice, the more the merrier," I whispered back and she squeezed my hand.

The children were in their element! They were asking questions, making funny faces, imitating the lions` roars and the elephants` stomps and the girls even got me to make _my own_ impression of a penguin`s walk. The whole party laughed at me. Edward`s eyes squinted.

I watched Edward with his nephew. Hugo was older than my girls and he and his Uncle had real conversations about what the animals ate and where they lived, why the giraffes` necks were so long and why the hippos spent most of their time in the water. Edward explained patiently. He was attentive and interested. He asked me once if it was okay to lift Sophie up so she could see a little tiger cub sleeping in the corner and after that he did it freely every time Rachel or Sophie couldn't see something properly. My daughters took to him naturally. He was friendly and smiley.

Before going to the monkeys it was time for some lunch. We took one of the wooden tables outside the restaurant and while Alice stayed with the children, Edward and I went inside to get some food. It was one o`clock and the place was buzzing. Edward stood in the line and I walked around picking some treats and small cartons of juice and bottles of mineral water. As I was walking back to the line I noticed three women, also in the line, eyeing him. I raised my brow. He was looking at the choices of fresh foods and then turned to me and smiled. I felt the women`s eyes on me as I walked past them.

_Wow, it`s actually lovely to know that women are ogling this man and I`m here with him. For the ten minutes spent here people are going to think that he and I are together._

We chose some fresh bread, salads, veggie burgers and carrot and garden pea omelets for the children, plus tea and coffee. I handed money to Edward, but he stopped my motions, covering my hand with his.

"No, Bella, it`s my treat."

I creased my forehead, "Edward, you can treat your sister and nephew, but –"

"I`ve been having fun, please don't spoil it for me," he said softly and quietly, so only I could hear it. I shook my head, but put the bill away. I thanked him. He smiled and I was close to melting.

Edward took one tray full of food outside while I waited by the counter for the burgers and omelets. He came back two minutes later. I saw the same women following him with their eyes as he joined me. I knew, or rather presumed, that he wasn't married, as the absence of a wedding ring on his finger didn't escape my notice, of course, but I thought that his girlfriend must have a tough life shooing all those females away from her man.

Our hot meals were ready and Edward and I took the trays to the table outside. As we ate, we talked about our jobs, interests, books and music. I confessed that apart from editing I had been actually working on my own stories and both Alice and Edward asked what I was writing about and if I was going to publish my works. Alice went on about the children`s clothing line that she was planning on extending and she joked that Sophie and Rachel would have been wonderful models for her. Edward shared what books he was reading when he had a moment at the hospital. He was an oral maxillofacial surgeon and dealt with birth defects and dento-facial deformities, cleft lips and troublesome wisdom teeth. He said that as much as scheduled operations, he realigned dislocated and broken jaws after people got into fights or became accident victims.

He and Dr. Stefan Davidovic had studied together many years ago and now Edward fills in for Dr. Davidovic at his private practice when necessary.

I barely got to know Edward, but I felt so proud; there he was, a man who saved people`s lives and improved their health while I had fun reading fantasy stories about vampires and werewolves. Not only was he sinfully handsome, kind and caring, but also incredibly intelligent, smart and skilled.

Alice and I chatted and watched Edward chasing the kids on the lawn and then we finally went to see the monkeys. Boy, was that fun! For a while I wondered if my daughters weren't real monkeys in disguise by any chance, because they imitated the animals perfectly, along with Hugo and Edward. Not far away we spotted chimps and gorillas and looking at Edward`s careless lack of self consciousness, my inner kid kicked in and I joined in the chest pounding. Alice did the same and we were all in stitches with laughter.

I enjoyed the birds. Parrots with their colorful feathers and pride amazed me. And their `knowing` eyes, there was something magical about them, like they could see right through me. While I was still gaping at the birds, Edward stayed with me and lifted Rachel while I held Sophie, so they could see the birds better. A few steps away Alice and Hugo pointed and looked like had an engaging conversation, about butterflies.

It was four o`clock and I could feel my girls fading. They were getting impatient and whiny. It had been an exhausting day for them, all the excitement, laughing and running and hopping had worn them out. When I saw an agitated grimace on Rachel`s face that I knew would likely lead to a tantrum, it was time to go home. Alice and Edward watched me with understanding in their eyes. Hugo was still standing tall, but Alice pointed at his yawning, he was going to go down soon enough, too. I was tired myself. After Sophie protested loudly against Edward`s strapping her in her car seat, I apologized to him and looked sternly at my daughter. Tired or not, she was being rude. Edward had thoughtfully offered to help us get ready for the road and I explained it to Sophie. She said `sorry` to Edward and we were on our way. As I was leaving the parking lot, in my rearview mirror I saw Alice with her brother and son getting into a silver Volvo.

I was glad that the children managed to stay awake in the car. They were cranky, but I decided to stay cool. I changed them into pajamas, fed them some light dinner and just before seven I kissed them both goodnight, stories forgotten.

Later, I stepped into the shower. I was tired and tense and my mind was going over the events of the day… I lingered on Edward`s images… his soft, inviting lips revealing his white teeth when he smiled crookedly… his green eyes and the crinkled skin around them when he laughed… the way he pinched the bridge of his nose… his resonant voice, where every `s` sounded like a sexy hiss and almost made me shiver… the warmth of his hands covering mine when he told me he was paying for our lunch… and his murmurs in my ears… and his smell… He didn't wear cologne, I didn't think so, but he smelled clean and fresh and masculine. It was intoxicating.

I suddenly shook my head after looking at myself and realizing that my hands were traveling all over my soap leathered body and one of them was dangerously low south… I sobered up instantly. It wasn't Edward`s fault that I hadn`t felt a man`s touch since my girls` first birthday, which meant exactly a year and four months of sexual abstinence. It wasn't a big deal and I didn't feel particularly deprived of something amazing, sex was overrated anyway. It had never been like in books and movies and I had doubts when friends were telling me about fireworks in their bedrooms. Either I had higher hopes and refused to call a nice tingling in my stomach while a man moved above me "fireworks", or some women lived in a fantasy world.

For the last sixteen months only my own hand was allowed between my legs from time to time. However, thinking of Edward now and whimpering softly in the shower felt unfair to him. At the ZOO I didn't ask if there was a woman in his life, I didn't want to sound too obviously attracted and interested in him.

Like I promised Heavens I wouldn't let my mind get clouded by a man ever again. For nearly a year and a half I didn't get interested in any guy. It`s not that I guarded my mind hard, no, it wasn't a miserable chore, simply no man caught my attention. I thought of all the people in the world who lived alone and began to come to terms with the fact that I was like them, meant for a solitary life.

The question was; why would somebody like Edward Cullen invade my peace? Was God playing a trick on me by showing me what I would never have? I had promised I would never touch a man anymore, I would never desire and now what, I was reduced to a raw need standing naked and vulnerable in the shower, my hand an inch from my wet core imagining that it`s Edward`s hand and not mine?

NO! Edward wasn't mine. I imagined him eating dinner with his girlfriend, and moved my hand away from my flushed skin. I was glad the water was getting cooler. I finished washing quickly, ignoring the painful longing between my thighs. At the same time something tugged at my heart. A few tears mixed with clean water. I got out of the cabin and didn't dare looking at my face in the mirror.

I got into pajamas and checked on the children. Sophie snored gently, her mahogany hair stuck to her cheek. I moved a few strands away from her face. I could see her eyes moving behind her lids, she was dreaming… I smiled. _Where are you, Baby? Still at the ZOO watching the monkeys? Or at school, singing and dancing to your favorite songs? Have a wonderful time and come back to Mommy in the morning. _Her button nose crinkled in her sleep and I couldn't help it, I gave her a little peck right on top of it.

I walked over to Rachel. _Hi, Sweetheart. _I said in my mind to my daughter`s sleeping shape. _You had so much fun today, didn't you? _I ran a finger through her silky hair, so much lighter in color than Sophie`s. Looks wise the girls were like each other`s photographic negatives, Sophie had dark hair and brown eyes like me, Rachel the opposite. It was my reminder that they weren't only mine… At least they both had pale skin like me.

_Good night, my Angel._ I pulled Rachel`s comforter over her shoulders and left the room.

I put the kettle on and checked my phone. There was an unread message. It must have gotten here when I was in the bathroom. It was from Alice.

"Bella, what a great day, I`m positively exhausted now. By the way, yes, Edward is single. I know you didn't ask, but you wanted to! ;-) Talk soon. Alice."

_Edward is single… _

The words rang in my head.

_Edward is single._

_Wait, what does she mean I `wanted to ask`? Is it so clear that my knees went weak when her brother was around? God, what is this again? Why is it happening to me? I don't want anybody, I don't need anybody. Is this a test? Do I even stand a chance of passing it? I`m not a vampire like the characters in the book I`m editing. I`m only human, with human needs and desires. If You didn't want me to feel them, why would You give them to me? Why would You try me like this? _

I thought warmly of Alice. She obviously saw that I liked her brother. Furthermore, she hinted that he found me interesting as well; otherwise she wouldn't have sent me this message.

I was dead on my feet and lay down on the couch thinking about it all.

I was woken up by another text message. It was only half past nine, but it felt like the middle of the night. All I could think of was sleep. I was confused. The number on the display was unknown to me. 

`I had really great fun today. Hope the girls didn't give you a hard time. Don't be mad at Alice, I harassed her until she gave me your number. Goodnight. Edward.`

I turned the tv off and trudged upstairs to my bedroom.

I woke up very early the next morning. I looked around and as they say, `nothing was wrong, but something was not right`.

I remembered falling asleep on the couch and then something woke me up and… a message. A text message woke me up!

I checked the messages and read the last one again. It was from Edward. I got a message from Edward. I had his number. He wanted me to have his number! Did he? Or was his text only a polite `thank you` for not throwing a fit, since he joined us at the ZOO unexpectedly? Sure I didn't expect to see him there!

_OK, Bella, how old are you, exactly? Stop behaving like a fifteen-year-old again, no offense! He asked his sister for your number. Maybe he wants to stay in touch? Now, show your good manners and answer the message._

Without thinking too much, I keyed in,

`Hi, Edward. So sorry I didn't answer last night, I fell asleep on the couch early. The girls were manageable, nothing I hadn`t seen before ; -) I had fun too. Thank you for texting me. Have a good day. Bella.`

OK, nice, clear, polite. I pressed the "send' button and my heart fluttered. _He_ was going to read it in a matter of seconds… I`m lying in my bed, thinking about him at this very moment and I`m sure when he gets the text, even if for a tiniest while, my number will bring me to his mind.

I didn't realize that I was pressing the phone to my chest until a minute later a blue light illuminated and the message signal was emitted again. It was from Edward.

`Good morning! You`re up early ;-) I`m glad all is fine. Talk soon?`

_Up early? _I looked at the phone once more. It was 6.42. Shit! Ungodly 6.42 on a Sunday morning and I`m just sending people random texts!

`Edward, I`m so sorry! I didn't realize it was so early! Even my kids are still in bed. Have a lovely day, I won`t bother you anymore. Apologies. Bella.`

`Bella, you can bother me any time you want. I`m at the hospital, started my shift at 6, so don't worry, you didn't wake me up. The ZOO memories will carry me through the day. Enjoy your Sunday. E.`

_`Bella, you can _bother_ me any time you want…" _I smiled to myself. God, the things I would do to him…

I clutched the phone to my chest and closed my eyes. A few minutes later the arms of Morpheus took me in again. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 BPOV**

**FREESIAS**

The next few days flew by as Edward and I texted each other a couple of times. The messages were short and polite. One or two brushed against my sensitive emotions almost like a flirt; nevertheless, they were careful.

It felt pleasant to have a man who was interested in my life. Edward was open and friendly. I wasn't stupid, I sensed his attraction towards me, but for now an enjoyable game was all I was ready to take and I appreciated the apparent mutual agreement between us.

I knew from both Alice and Edward that their brother and his wife were coming for a visit from Alaska. My mom and her husband were coming to see me at the same time, so in the days leading up to my party I worked extra hours to be able to have some time off when Mom was over and so I didn't even meet up with Alice.

Two days before my birthday I drove to the airport to collect my mom and Phil. While waiting for them at the arrivals, I texted both Alice and Edward asking if they would like to meet me one day after our families were gone. I told them it was no biggie, just my birthday, but I wanted to see them for a quiet coffee and a piece of cake after the big family gathering. And I added to Alice that I would love to meet her husband. Alice called me straight away.

"Hi, Bella. Just got your message. You didn't tell me that your birthday was coming up!"

"Hi, Alice. I know, I`m sorry. I don't usually celebrate, I`m not big on parties, but this one is special."

"Don't be silly Bella, you have your family coming over, that`s more important. Emmett and Rose arrived last night, so we`re going to be busy, too. Let me guess, your birthday is the special occasion you were buying the dress for?"

"True. My family was worried how I would manage on my own with the children, in a new house, new neighborhood, in a new job, and I`m determined to show them that we are doing great. Maybe it`s silly, but I want to look good to feel more confident."

"It`s not in the least silly, Bella. Do whatever makes you feel good, you deserve it."

"Thank you."

"No problem. So, when exactly is your birthday, in two days, September the thirteenth?"

"Yes, it is. So, what do you say, will you and Jasper meet me for coffee one day after that?"

"Of course, we will!"

"I thought it would be nicer, more intimate. You wouldn't know my family and –"

"Bella, now you`re being silly. Emmett and Rose are here at the same time, we wouldn't be able to join you earlier anyway. Have a lovely time with your family and we will see you when you`re sober," she chuckled at the end.

"For your information, I don't drink," I followed Alice in her laughter, "I`m looking forward to seeing you."

"Same here, Bella."

I brought excited Renèe and Phil over to my house and while Phil stayed to unpack, my mom joined me to pick up her granddaughters from crèche. We drove slowly and Mom was taking my new neighborhood in hungrily.

"I really like it here, honey. It looks like a pleasant and safe area."

"It is, Mom, believe me."

"I haven`t been here since… I was a teenager. Your dad took me to Seattle for a weekend one time, before graduation, we were just eighteen…" She smiled warmly at the memories.

"I didn't know."

"Oh, well, we were just kids in love, you know, getting away from our parents for two days. It was heaven." Funny, my mom blushed at the last words. I raised my eyebrow and pretended I didn't see.

I was pulling over at the school when my phone buzzed, announcing a message from Edward.

"I`ll be there! Have a great time with your family. E."

"A friend?" My mom`s voice brought me to reality.

"Pardon?" 

"I just saw how you smiled, so I presume it`s a nice message from a friend."

_Cheesy._ "Yes, Mom, from a friend," I sighed with a smirk.

"Good, I`m glad you have new friends, sweetie. Is she coming to the party?"

"No, mom, _he _isn't coming to the party."

"HE?"

_Shit! I should have known she`d get excited. _

"Mom, calm down, he`s just a friend. And I mean it, a friend! I`ve known him for less than two weeks," I looked sternly at my mother`s smiling expression.

"OK, if you say so," she winked at me and I shook my head.

"Alright, let`s get the girls," I motioned at the building. Renèe stepped out of the car and looked around waiting for me to walk over to her.

"Does he have a name?" She threw into the air. I sighed.

"Mom, please."

"OK, OK," she waved her hands in a gesture of defeat.

We were several steps from the school building. "Edward," I said quietly.

"Sorry?"

"His name is Edward. He`s the most gorgeous man I have ever met and I`m freaking out," I finished and opened the door.

"Oh, baby," My mom let out a concerned gasp and we were welcomed by one of the girls` teachers.

My daughters nearly brought the school down when they saw my mom, they were so excited! It made me think that they mustn`t have entirely believed when I told them that Renèe was coming, until she actually materialized in front of them. They showed Grandma their classroom, their favorite toys and their Montessori materials. I apologized to the teacher for interrupting her routine, but she waved me off with a smile and chatted with my mom, who was a former preschool teacher herself after all.

Later, when the kiddies were catching up with their grandparents, I had an appointment with a beautician. I got

my finger and toenails done. To a professional pedicure I subject myself rather rarely because of my ticklish feet, but I was going to do what it took to be ready to be whisked away and grace the red carpet in Hollywood, if such possibility arrived the following night… After all, it was supposed to be special. So, with my French manicure and pedicure freshly finished, I went for a walk in twilight.

I was trying to imagine what my being thirty two years old would bring me, what another year of my life would surprise me with. Were there any surprises in store at all? What would I be thinking of that year on my next, thirty third birthday? Would I be walking alone again or would my hand find solace in another`s? I couldn't help but see Edward Cullen in my mind, taking a walk with me, hand in hand… I smiled to myself sadly. Yes, someone like Edward… I was either unobservant, simply unlucky or that type of a man was rare. Somebody who took pride in loving, caring and cherishing the ones he held close to his heart, someone to whom relationships weren`t disposable one-shots. Somebody with whom I would feel comfortable just being. Someone who would like my children or learn to love them not only for the cute little bunnies they are, but the real people in them.

_Is he out there, out here, in Seattle? Is there an Edward Cullen for me in this world? God, I sound like a pathetic fantast._

I came back home just in time to say goodnight to Sophie and Rachel. They were going to bed later than usually, but my mom and Phil wanted to keep them at home the next day, so I didn`t mind.

…..

In the morning of my birthday I left the children with my mom and Phil and drove to work. Victoria and a couple more colleagues welcomed me with a cake, flowers and a rendition of "Happy Birthday". I thanked them, but shook my head and said that they shouldn`t have done it. Victoria told me to suck it up and cut the cake. My friends Angela, Jessica, Mike and a few others called from Phoenix. Mike`s dad, the president of Newton Publishing had phoned a florist in Seattle all the way from Phoenix and a bunch of lilies was delivered to me as I was sipping coffee and munching on a cake in my office. Someone commented that I must been special to "the big boss". I smiled to myself, sat back and called John straight away to thank him for the flowers. He was pleasantly surprised and asked what on Earth was I doing in the office on my day instead of showing off Seattle to my mom and Phil. I laughed. He asked about the girls and then filled me in on the news from the Phoenix office.

It was just before ten o`clock, when I got a beautiful bouquet of freesias. They were multicolored and there must have been at least twenty five of them. Their fragrance was gorgeously intoxicating. I buried my face in them and inhaled deeply, then opened the small envelope attached to them, "Happy Birthday!"

_Alright, thank you very much, but who am I thanking? _

I checked the piece of paper and the flowers for any clues, but all in vain. I didn't recognize the handwriting. My favorite flowers…

_Who knows that freesias are my favorites? Mom?_ _No, she`s staying in my house, she wouldn't have sent me flowers to the office. Dad? He`s on the way from Forks, we`ll see each other in a matter of hours, so no. Jacob? He knows I like freesias, but he`s also coming to Seattle, so I`d say no…_

The only other person that came to mind was Alice… I half-thought about ringing her and thanking for the surprise, when someone came in to talk to me and I forgot about it for a minute.

Finally when I found myself alone again and was getting ready to go home at lunchtime, there was a knock on the door and a smiling head popped in. Alice.

"Hello, birthday girl, may I… for a second?"

I smiled broadly and motioned her to come in, "Of course you may, Alice! How are you?"

She walked over to me and hugged me tightly, "Have a wonderful day, Bella!"

She presented me with the sweetest bunch of pale pink miniature roses. The flowers were tiny and nested on a layer of thin white lace; an adorable piece of art. I`d only known Alice for two weeks, but it was long enough to assume that most probably it was herself personally who was responsible for this cuteness. And with it, she eliminated herself as my freesias sending "suspect".

I wished my colleagues a nice weekend, placed all the flowers in the car and drove home. Renèe, Phil and the children were out, so I rested for an hour and then had a sandwich and some salad for lunch.

I was washing my dishes when the door bell rang. Kate and her boyfriend popped in to wish me a happy birthday and hand me a small package. I mumbled that there were supposed to be no presents and for the second time today I was told to suck it up and enjoy. I unwrapped the gift. It was a lovely scarf, in the color of rich gold, with spring flowers scattered all over. I told Kate that it was perfect and I would wear it tonight. Indeed, it was ideal as my clothes for the night were all black. The scarf would prevent me from looking like I was going to an expensive funeral rather than celebrating my birthday, a new house, new job, the children`s new school and countless chances and possibilities; a new life… It called for elegant, it called for rich and sophisticated and it certainly called for gold.

Kate had barely left, when another knock on the door made me jump. I opened it to four tired but cheerful faces - my dad, Sue, Jacob and his wife Leah.

"HAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR BELLA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, WOO!"

I tried to shush and pull them inside before their show attracted the attention of all of my neighbors, but in vain; not one of them would move until the rendition of the song was finished. And it was a loud one!

Next thing I knew I was squeezed and squashed and hugged like there was no tomorrow. It was wonderful to see the familiar, dear faces, hear their voices and laughter. I proudly showed them around the house.

_Thank goodness I managed to unpack the rest of the boxes at last!_

Rachel, Sophie, Renèe and Phil came back from their escapade and the girls were instantly lost in Charlie`s embraces. He loves them so much and is so ridiculously happy whenever they are around. Two little girls are all it takes to make my serious, dutiful chief of police dad lose his self-consciousness and turn into a child again.

My parents and their partners do not find themselves in the same room often, but when they do, they are very civil and I was delighted that we were able to talk comfortably.

I was preparing some lunch for the guests, when Jacob joined me in the kitchen.

"Hey, Bella, do you need a hand?"

"Hi there. I`m on top of everything, thanks, but you can keep me company," I smiled and he reciprocated. "I miss you, Jake."

"I miss you, too, Bella," he winked, pecked me on the cheek and proceeded to slice tomatoes for the salad.

"I thought you were going to bring Quil and Embry with you."

"Well, Embry would have been fine, but Quil has an important baseball practice and he didn't want to miss it."

"Wow, he`s one ambitious seven-year-old, you should be proud. Anyway, you were right, it`s a long journey for youngsters."

"We are very proud, thank you. We didn't want to take them out of school, especially Quil," Jacob`s face beamed at the thought of his sons.

"I`ve got to see them soon. Anyway, who are they staying with?"

"Remember Leah`s cousin Emily and her husband Sam?"

"Oh, Emily and Sam who have the two boys the same age as yours?" 

"Yep." 

"OK, then I`m sure they`re having a ball together."

"We`ll call them before going to the restaurant. It`s strange without them, but Mommy and Daddy need to have some uninterrupted fun, too, if you catch my drift," he winked again and grinned to himself, then looked at my raised brows. "I`m talking about your birthday, of course."

I laughed, "Yeah, yeah, Jacob, sure you are. I`m delighted that you`re in town, but glad you won`t be staying in my house at night, enough said." I blushed at the thought of Jacob and Leah…

"How about you?"

"What, you`re asking me about my love life?"

"Kind of," he winced and looked from under his lashes.

"Such a thing doesn't exist, Jake."

"It does, Bella. It should, you deserve the best. I can`t believe that loser, whoever he was, left you with –"

"It`s alright, Jake. I appreciate your concern, but keep it light, OK?"

"Sure. Sorry." 

"Don't need to be," I gave him a smile and patted him on the arm while walking past with cups, "Really. You`re a sweetheart, Jake."

Soon our Forks crowd left us to go to their hotel to freshen up and get ready to party. I knew Sue and Leah wanted to go shopping and then change and come back to my house.

It was almost half past five when I walked downstairs in my new dress and shoes on and Grandma Swan`s necklace around my neck. Unaware that everybody else was ready to go and they were just waiting for me, I heard the clatter of my heels on the wooden steps and then looked at my family and friends at the bottom of the staircase. My dad gasped.

"Bells, you look beautiful," he said with a little smile in the corners of his mouth, "I remember standing like this when you were going to your prom -"

"Dad –"

"You wore a blue dress… and –"

"And a cast on my right ankle," I added, rolling my eyes.

"That`s what you get for `helping me out` with the motorbikes, " Jacob laughed and everybody else joined, "You were the best catch at the prom anyway. I was a lucky guy being your date for the night," he said, before turning to his wife and tenderly kissing her temple. I sighed with a smile.

"You look wonderful, Bella," Leah said and I mouthed "thank you".

I wrapped my new scarf loosely around my neck, put on the coat and we left. The restaurant was only fifteen minutes walk from the house and all the adults planned on having some wine, so we decided to walk. Sophie and Rachel were bouncing and holding someone else`s hand every couple of minutes, they simply couldn`t contain the joy of having so many people to choose from.

As we walked, all sorts of chats ensued and so we talked and joked and were having a great time already. I felt like I was making a good impression on all my guests. They seemed to be enjoying what they saw and heard.

The restaurant wasn`t too busy and I was glad that we were going to be able to have a conversation over the meal without shouting over each other.

I took off the coat and the scarf. My girls in their gorgeous new dresses took seats in between their grandparents, happy and excited. We ordered our meal and soon, as we were being served appetizers, a group of people who had entered the room, caught my attention. An attendant showed them to a large table across from us. It shot through my mind that they were very beautiful people, a couple who looked a few years older than my parents, then a model looking blond woman with a tall dark-haired man holding her by the hand and another tall… _shit, shit, SHIT! It was Edward. Holy crow!_

Edward Cullen was in the same restaurant, having what it looked like dinner with his family. For a moment I thought that maybe it was a meal with his doctor friends, but by the way they all looked and smiled at each other it could only be his family. I remembered that Edward`s brother and his wife were over in Seattle, so I reckoned the blond woman was…, what was her name again, Rosalie, and the guy who looked like bulkier Edward must be Emmett. The lady with caramel hair must be their mom and the handsome gentleman who was currently looking at the door, was their father then. If Alice was there, I would know for sure that I`d just met the whole Cullen clan, but –

"Bella? Bella?!"

"Huh?" I blinked my eyes as my mother`s voice broke through my haze.

"Honey, are you alright?" she put her hand on my arm.

"Pardon?" I shook the mind cloud off, "Yes, sure, I`m fine, just… nevermind." I smiled apologetically.

I attempted to keep up with the conversation but my heart was racing and my mind constantly drifted to another guest at the restaurant. My eyes were the worst though. As much as I didn't mean to, I let them dart in Edward`s direction every half a minute. I felt like I was losing control over my visual sense. Sometimes I would gape at him for full two seconds before forcing myself to pay attention to what was happening at my birthday table.

_God, help me, please, please, do something, please. I don't know what, but do something. _

For a moment I tried to make up my mind but couldn't decide what would have been better, Edward leaving or staying as he was and me losing my mind in front of my family and friends. I was supposed to look and act strong, independent and freaking happy! Well, I was _happy_, but how could I act like I could take on the world on my own when this man was making my world twirl and my heart hammer away?

_Isabella Marie Swan, how old are you? Thirty two, yes, thirty two, not twelve! Then step up and act your age!_

_You don't know this man, you met him less than two weeks ago! _

Deep breath.

_Alright, you`ve had three wet dreams about him in the last several days, but those were dreams. Shit, they were only dreams! Just dreams…_

Deep breath.

_What about the promise, huh? Men mean heartbreak and pain. You have two little girls to look after, remember?_

Deep breath. OK, reality check, I have two little daughters…

I dragged my eyes across the faces beside me. Leah and Jacob were talking to my mom and Sue, Jacob apparently absent-mindedly caressing his wife`s hand, but I was sure to some extent he knew what he was doing. Leah was leaning towards his chest. A quick smile shot through my face. They were clearly a happy couple and very much in love.

I remembered when I was eighteen and Jake, two years younger than me, had a huge crush on Leah who was nineteen at the time. Our three fathers had been great buddies for years and whenever I visited Charlie, I played with his friends` kids. Obviously, after I`d moved to live in Forks at the age of seventeen, I rekindled my friendship with Jake and the rest of the gang.

I don't know what it was between Jake and I in the end. We were good friends, to the point of being each other`s first kissers, but it never developed into anything more serious. Platonic feelings proved the most natural and best for us, especially when Jake confessed to me his feelings for Leah. She was three years older than him and he was certain that she would never even notice him in a romantic way. It took a bit of time, but happened nevertheless. I went to Jake`s eighteenth birthday and saw the two of them making out. And as they say, the rest is history. Jacob and Leah have never been apart for the last twelve years, now married and parents to two wonderful boys, a seven and a three-year-old.

My dad and Phil were discussing baseball and seemed to be in their element. Just as our main course arrived, a few people left the restaurant and to my surprise I realized those were the people who had sat at the tables between Edward`s and my one. My view of Edward was unobstructed now. However, that meant that he was able to see me, too.

Surprise, surprise, my girls beat me to the punch. Sophie wriggled out of her seat and I thought that she wanted to stretch her legs, so I stood up to let her out. It attracted attention from across the room…

A couple of things happened at the same time. Rachel shouted "Edward!" and pointed at his table, effectively ending all the conversations that my guests were engaged in and making them look where my daughter was staring, Sophie pulled at my dress urging me to lean down and listen to her and I was frantically trying to make Rachel stop pointing, hold the table cloth while Sophie was getting out from her seat, lean to her to hear what she had to say and catch a glimpse of Edward`s face since he had now noticed and recognized the girls and me.

"Mommy, I wanna go to Edward," Sophie said as I came down to her level.

"I don't think it`s a good idea, angel, Edward is having dinner with his friends…"

"Only for one minute!" I saw her puppy eyes and automatically looked in Edward`s direction. He smiled and waved at us. I smiled back and my heart melted.

I leaned to Sophie again, "OK, baby, go and say `hello`, but then come back quickly, alright? We don't want to disturb anybody."

She jumped, set her eyes on the man in a blue button down dress shirt and black suit and I watched as she confidently made her way over to him. He saw her coming and smiled at her. That gave my daughter even more courage and in no time she was sitting on Edward`s lap and it looked like he was introducing everybody at the table to her.

_And she`s supposed to be the shy one!_

It seemed that the only thing preventing Rachel from hopping off her seat as well was the fact that she was currently enjoying her mushroom ravioli and my mom convinced her to finish the meal first. I could see it in Rachel`s eyes though, she was going to follow her sister any second.

"Bella, who are those people?" My dad asked concerned about what his granddaughter was doing in the company of strangers.

"It`s OK, dad, we know each other." 

"I see."

I caught Leah and Jacob staring at me with questioning eyes.

"Edward is a friend."

The occupants of both tables exchanged polite glances and smiles. While Charlie was helping Rachel leave the table, we saw Edward and Sophie stand up and walk back to us. Edward held Sophie`s hand and she had the widest Cheshire cat grin on her little face. They looked so sweet together.

I stood up and found myself face to face with Edward. My heart skipped a beat.

_Shhhhh, Bella…_

Edward looked at everyone and nodded, "Hello, everybody."

"This is Edward, a friend of mine and that`s Jacob, Leah, Sue, this is my mom, my dad and Phil."

Edward waved and dished a heartbreaking smile at everyone. Rachel was beside him at that stage and he lifted her up and settled in his right arm, while Sophie still stood between us, holding Edward`s left hand and my right one. Then she proceeded to examine her shoes as if nothing else important was happening around her; as if she had done her job and it was now time to enjoy the reaps.

To say that I was taken aback by my daughters` leisured behavior with Edward would be an understatement. They had seen him once in their life before, at the ZOO and now were holding his hands and crawling up his arms!

"Happy birthday, Bella," he said, standing a few inches from me.

"Thank you very much," I managed to maintain some serenity in my voice.

Something startled Jake for a second, his eyes darted between Edward and I but he relaxed into his seat. Did he notice that my knees were wobbly?

"Bella! Edward!"

We both turned to the door where the voice had come from. Alice was gently pushing Hugo in front of her and pulling a tall, slim man by the hand towards us. Her hair was smoothly hugging her smiling face.

She looked at my companions, then at her family and at Edward again.

"Alice, hi!" I pulled her into a squeeze. For some reason her hug was exactly what I needed to calm down.

She introduced me to Jasper, who smiled and wished me a happy birthday. He had dark caramel hair, untamable like Edward`s, just a bit longer, and the same color eyes. Now I knew who Hugo took after.

"So this is the special night? You look stunning!" She raised her eyebrow.

"Thank you. We`re celebrating all I`ve told you about."

Edward stood holding Rachel, while I introduced Alice, Jasper and Hugo to my family. Hugo hugged Edward`s leg and received a reassuring pat on the shoulder from his Uncle. Everybody observed each other cautiously.

I explained that Alice had her own boutique and the dresses that the three of us Swan girls were wearing came from Alice`s place. Leah opened her eyes widely.

"I`ll take you there tomorrow," I winked at her and she smiled back.

"I will be delighted to see you," Alice bounced.

After wishing each other a good time, Sophie slipped back to her seat and Rachel asked to be brought to the bathroom. Edward put her down and I took her by the hand. I had to walk past his table, so we all walked across the room together, before Rachel and I turned left and went downstairs to find the restrooms.

As we came back upstairs, I deliberately walked over to Edward and his guests. The lady with the caramel hair smiled at me sweetly and everybody else followed. Rachel clutched my hand.

"Hello, everyone. I hope you`re having a good time and weren`t disturbed by my daughter too much."

Edward stood up and introduced me to the family members I didn't know.

_So, I was right, these are the Cullens. _

He brushed his hand against mine while leaving his seat and electricity surged through me.

I heard compliments about myself and my daughters, how incredibly sweet they were and I thanked for the nice words.

Rachel couldn't see everybody properly from her standing position and I bent down to pick her up, holding the top of my dress at the same time. I wasn't going to give the Cullens a free show. It had happened before with Edward when I brought Kate to his surgery and my hard nipples protruded through my damp t-shirt; it was not going to happen again! ; -) I stood up straight with my child in my arms only to face Edward. I don't know what I was expecting to see, but as I looked up in his eyes, he looked… down my dress. He didn't remove his eyes from my vulnerable spot for a split second longer than people normally would. He was checking out my cleavage!

_Naughty doctor._

I cleared my throat and he finally looked into my eyes, smiling sheepishly. Normally I would have been appalled, but for some reason those green eyes on me I didn't mind. Here I was, a plain Jane and the handsome doctor ogled my boobs. Maybe there is justice in this world after all.

I was delighted with the effort I had made to look good tonight though, more than ever. These people were just gorgeous. Rosalie was even more beautiful face to face than from across the room, with long blond waves and blue eyes, like a doll, but without being plastic and fake. Even though she was sitting, I could tell there was not an ounce of spare fat on this woman and she was a head-turner. With all her beauty though, she didn't look intimidating, the dimples in her cheeks as she smiled made her look sweet and friendly.

Her husband was muscled up, but he looked just right, not beefy, not comical. He seemed taller and generally larger than Edward, but when I saw them beside each other, I thought that Edward was just leaner than his brother, but they were about the same height. Emmett`s hair was short and darker than Edward`s in color and he had exactly the same blue eyes like his sister and his wife. And his dimples matched those of Rosalie perfectly, I thought it was cute. I reckoned that they didn't have any children**; **otherwise they would have brought them over from Alaska to see the rest of the family, wouldn't they?

Esme was a lovely woman with a warm smile and green eyes, just like Edward`s. She was dressed simply but classy. She gave me the impression that the people around her were her life. Warmth and love radiated from her and she was looking at me and Rachel with interest.

The senior of the Cullens, Carlisle, had blue eyes and blond hair, graying on his temples. Even though he was a father to three adults and a grandfather to Hugo, he was a seriously handsome man; I`d say Esme must have had a hard time keeping her husband safe from drooling women over the years.

Rachel was brave enough to shake hands with the Cullens and Esme squeaked how adorable my little girl was.

My mom gaped at me and I shook my head in the "not now" gesture.

My dad and Phil resumed their sports chat and I was glad that the attention had redistributed again.

"Bella, if I may," Sue asked quietly, but loud enough for her daughter and husband to hear, "Have you known Edward for long?"

"No, less than two weeks actually."

"OK, " she said softly, "But he`s single, isn't he?" 

I leaned over to Sue, "Yes, he is."

"I presumed so, he`s the only one who`s alone at his table and it looks like an important family gathering."

"His brother and his wife are over from Alaska, they`re staying for a week."

"That blond woman is the wife?" 

"Yes, that`s Rosalie. The man on her right is Emmett, he`s Alice and Edward`s brother."

"I think he likes you."

"Emmett?" 

"No, goosey, Edward," Sue chuckled beside me and Leah and my mom joined her.

I swallowed hard and my heart fluttered at the sound of his name. I had to terminate that conversation before I would burn to ash.

"I will keep you all posted, alright?" I winked at Sue and she nodded.

I didn't want to go into too many details. Edward was a young, sinfully handsome, scarily intelligent man, who could have virtually any woman he wanted wetting herself for him. I could feel that he liked me, he was kind and funny and open. Knowing Alice and now having met the rest of their family I could already pretty safely say that they were all terribly friendly, grounded and pleasant people, very easy to be around. Would I want to explore `the Edward territory`? Hell, yes, but I had to remember that I wasn't alone; I had motherly responsibilities. Being a mother doesn't exclude inviting other people into one`s life, that`s true, but I had learned in life that I wasn't lucky in the love department and it was best to leave it alone. Otherwise I wouldn't have been alone with my children now, would I?

However, there was no talking to my heart and my body. Just like now, Edward was around and my senses instantly kicked into high gear. Thank God that my mind was able the two in check. I had learned to filter every single detail of person`s behavior, so eventually I could exclude them from my thoughts. I was good at sabotaging. It was easier not to try than giving my all and ending up heartbroken. So I was going to take it as easy as I could with Edward and not hope for anything more than his genuine smile and warm presence.

I was talking to Leah when our waiter exchanging nods with my dad. Half a minute later he came back to us with two others and they sang "Happy Birthday" to me again. The whole restaurant went silent and I blushed furiously. The girls clapped their hands, watching excitedly how the candles and the little fireworks burnt on top of a deliciously looking cake. I looked at the joy on their faces and forgot all about narrowing my eyes at my dad, instead I mouthed `thank you` to him, and earned myself a grin from him in return. I looked around the room. A couple of strangers called out "happy birthday!" and I nodded with a smile. I caught glimpses from the Cullens. They all raised their glasses, so I grabbed mine and raised it in return.

It was half past eight. The girls had had an exciting day, but now the tiredness was winning them over. They were yawning and rubbing their eyes. One got settled in Renèe`s arms and the other snuggled up to Charlie. They were going to fall asleep and it looked like it was time to go home. Sue seemed tired too, after the morning drive from Forks.

"Bella?" That was Alice`s voice right beside me.

"Oh, Alice!"

"Hey, I hope I`m not being rude, but we were wondering, have you any plans for after the meal?" 

"Well, the girls are falling asleep and some of us are exhausted, so we`re ready to call it a day and enjoy ourselves again tomorrow…"

"Oh, right," she nodded with understanding.

"Why are you asking?" 

"My Mom and Dad are taking Hugo home, but the rest of us wanted to go dancing for a while. There`s this club `de Ville` just five minutes walk from here and we were wondering if you would like to come with us?" She dragged her eyes across all of us at the table.

I didn't quite know what to say.

"Bella," Alice sensed my apprehension, "we won`t stay long, believe me, I won`t be able to and I`m working tomorrow, Edward needs to be at the hospital in the morning and Emmett has a meeting at ten, so it`s just for an hour or two."

"Honey, you should go, really," My mom was serious and she whispered into my ear, "You look amazing tonight, don't waste it, don't keep it only for your old parents. Go have some fun. The girls will be fine; they`re already dozing and they won`t even notice your absence."

Renèe handed Rachel over to Phil and took my keys. Mom, Dad, Sue and Phil were going to go to my house, put the kids to bed and then Sue and Charlie would get a taxi to their hotel. Leah, Jacob and I were joining the Cullens.

I asked the waiter for the bill and heard that it had all been settled. I looked around at my family. My dad pretended he didn't see my exchange.

"Dad?!" I creased my forehead.

Charlie winked at me, "Happy birthday, baby girl."

I sighed.

As we were all gathering our belongings, my dad stood beside me, with my sleeping Sophie in his arms.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"I`m glad you enjoyed it. I`m so proud of you, Bella," he whispered back with his warm brown eyes on me and suddenly I found myself struggling with tears.

"Thank you, Dad."

"Now, go dancing."

"You know I have two left feet." 

My father looked at Edward who was approaching our table with his siblings and leaned closer to my ear, "I think the thing is _who_ you`re dancing _with_, you know?"

I sighed loudly, trying to calm down.

"I love you, Baby," my dad said, kissing me on the temple and I could only nod, before my tears spilled out.

I caught Edward`s gaze. His smile dissolved from his face.

"Are you OK?" he asked worried.

"Yeah, thank you," I shrugged off the daunting emotions and smiled through my wet eyes, "Are we going?"

He nodded.

The two families exchanged their opinions on how great the food was and some other usual pleasantries. Then we split into three groups; Esme, Carlisle and sleepy Hugo got into a cab, my family went walking towards my house, with Charlie and Phil carrying my little sleepyheads and Mom and Sue walking beside them, and then there was us, the party goers. Not a common thing for me to go to a dancing club, but Leah and Jake seemed excited and Alice was there, so I felt safe enough. And then of course, there was Edward… and once more, it was difficult to decide whether or not it was a good thing for me…

I walked with Alice, who was holding Jasper`s hand, Rosalie and Emmett right beside us. Edward was a few steps behind me with Jacob and Leah and I could hear the two guys talking about cars. Jacob is a car mechanic and he specializes in restoring antique and vintage cars. I knew that people go to him from all over the state of Washington and further out, to get their `babies` taken care of by Jake.

As we entered `de Ville`, a group of people was just leaving and we managed to get their bench in the corner. It turned out that only Jasper was going to get a drink as the rest of us had had enough wine at the restaurant.

"Alice, you`re not getting a drink either?" I asked.

"Nope, not in my condition, thank you," she explained and then made a face, realizing something.

"Your condition? What do you mean?" I grew worried.

"Well, you`re celebrating your birthday and new life today and Jasper and I… are having a baby!"

I grinned like a fool, "Oh my, Alice, congratulations!" 

I threw myself at her. Two weeks ago I didn't even know that she existed and now she felt like a part of me. And she was going to be a mom again. I shook hands with the daddy-to-be and announced that I was going to drink with him. Jasper was over the moon and he was going to order me a cocktail. It looked like I wasn't allowed to pay for anything tonight.

"Sex on the beach?" Jasper asked me.

"Excuse me?!" I answered shocked, before realizing what he meant.

"I`m afraid I can no longer offer myself, only a drink called `sex on the beach`, Bella, sorry," he said and we all roared laughing. I nodded, embarrassed.

"Yes, please, Jasper. I haven't had sex on the beach in a while, I can`t even remember what it tastes like," I carried on. Emmett was wiping the tears from his eyes at that stage, he was laughing so hard.

"But you like it?" Jasper tried, he really tried to stay focused.

"What? Sex on the beach or `sex on the beach`?" I asked and Alice held her stomach. She waved that she was OK, it was just the laughter that squeezed her tummy, "I like both, Jasper, but will settle for the drink this time, thanks." I managed to articulate and this time it was Jasper who lost it. In the end he just turned around and walked to the bar. I noticed Edward`s… blush?

Maybe it was thanks to the alcohol, but I felt somewhat comfortable and relaxed.

A moment later Jasper and Edward were chatting, Jake and Emmett took their ladies for a dance and I got engrossed in the conversation with Alice.

"I cannot tell you how happy I am, Alice. When is the baby due?"

"Mid-March."

"So it`s been three months already, wow! Did you just find out now?" 

"No, I`ve known for about a month, but we wanted to tell the whole family at the same time personally, so we waited for Rose and Emmett to come. I`m sorry I didn't tell you earlier." 

"Alice, don't be daft, they`re your family, I`m just a… "

"A friend, Bella, you are a great friend." 

"Thank you and you are, too."

Some upbeat song was playing and I saw Edward standing up and looking at me.

"May I have this dance with the birthday girl, please?"

I rose up slowly. The green of his eyes pierced through me and the long forgotten heat ignited in my stomach. He took my hand and led me to the floor.

"I hope you won`t regret it, Edward. I have inherited two left feet from my father," I murmured trying to keep up the confidence when I looked up to his eyes. He let out a brief laugh.

The upbeat song ended and the moment Edward and readied ourselves to move, we heard a soft, slow piece of music and he automatically brought me closer to him. Our stomachs and chests touched and I felt like I was burning alive. For a split second I thought I should pull back a bit and take it easy, but Edward held me tightly and his mere presence and nearness disarmed me and cut off my ability to think logically.

He was a good bit taller than me and although I had high heels on my feet, he was able to look right down my cleavage again.

_Great._

We swayed in time with the music and my mind was a one big haze.

"So, tell me, Bella, have you enjoyed your birthday so far?" His murmurs traveled through my ears and down to

my soul.

"I have and much more than I was expecting."

"That's great."

"I`m not a fan of parties and surprises, but today has been really lovely. And I feel overwhelmed by all the singing and wishes and gifts and flowers…"

And then something dawned on me.

_The flowers… the freesias. Is it possible that…? No! Can`t be!_

"What are your favorite flowers?" He asked me while keeping me close to his chest.

"Lily of the valley in the garden… and freesias."

"Wonderful. I`m glad I got it right then."

_Oh, my God, it was him after all! _

I raised my head up, "Thank you. They are beautiful, Edward."

"They may be beautiful, but you are breathtaking, Bella."

I couldn't take his look for a while; my eyes darted away from him and landed on an extremely pleased looking Alice and Jasper. I was in trouble, but I looked at my hands on Edward`s chest and knew that I wouldn't be able to rip them off now. From the feel of it, my cheeks were probably tomato red.

"You are all too kind, Edward."

"There`s never too much kindness, Bella. Besides, I`m just telling you the truth."

"I`m grateful." 

"You`re welcome. And look at you, you`re dancing."

"On my birthday. Wow."

God, only now did I realize how close his face was to mine. I could see the cute little crinkles around his eyes and a wrinkle on his nose when he smiled. His hair looked so silky… and his lips… full and moist and inviting. I caught myself gnawing on my lower lip. I do it too often, especially when nervous.

A new, upbeat song began and I thought we were going to go back to our seats, but Edward twirled me and started moving with the new rhythm. Clearly, he intended to have his toes all blue at the end of this, so I had no choice but join him. And then something happened, my body moved like I never knew it could, I was having fun and after a few more sounds I forgot that we were surrounded by other people and that my friends and Edward`s siblings were probably watching us. I was there with him, for this moment, those couple of minutes, I was there with him and nothing else mattered.

Walking back to the table I noticed that nobody was sitting down, they were all dancing, which meant that no one fed on my insecurities, no one had been watching me and Edward.

"That was fun! And I didn't step on your foot once, did I?" 

"Not once!" Edward laughed.

"Phew!"

We spent over three hours in the club, dancing, talking and joking. I learned that Jasper tutored history. Rosalie was a real estate agent and Emmett was a chef and owned a restaurant in Fairbanks, Alaska. He wanted to move back to Seattle and that`s what they were doing right now with Rosalie, they had a couple of meetings with developers and were looking for a good location to open their restaurant and of course, needed a new house as well.

It was half past eleven when we left the club. Alice and Jasper took a cab home and Emmett and Rosalie were going to Emmett`s parents` house. Jacob and Leah got a taxi to their hotel and Edward and I walked to my house. The night was nice and dry and I didn't want it to end. Like a hormone driven teenager I was dragging and stretching every moment I had with Edward.

The conversation flowed between us naturally and easily. When we walked into my street, I took off my shoes.

"Sorry, I`m not used to wearing stilettos often and after the dancing my feet are killing me."

"No problem, Bella. I don't know how women do it anyway," he said with appreciation, "Here, give them to me."

I didn't get it at first, but he took the shoes from me and walked along, dangling them in his hand. A small flame burst in me.

Finally, we were outside my house. I saw a light on in the kitchen.

"So, that`s it, we`re here," I motioned at my place. Edward looked around.

"I like it. It`s one of the best areas in Seattle, you know?"

"Is it?" 

"You are an uptown girl, Bella," he laughed.

"Oh yeah!"

"Anyway, I had a fantastic time tonight," he checked his watch, "well, it`s ten to midnight –"

"So, it`s still my birthday…"

"It is. Happy birthday, Bella," he said with a gentle smile and I didn't wince or grimace. I was too busy looking at his lips.

"Thank you for tonight. I had fun, really great fun, Edward."

He nodded and passed me my shoes. And then looked at me and lifted his hand and caressed my cheek with his thumb. My heart rate picked up and my breathing stopped. Edward leaned down and kissed me lightly on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Bella." 

"Goodnight, Edward."

He turned and walked away. He was going to take a cab from round the corner and go to his parents` house for the night. I put my hand over my stomach to hold the butterflies still and Edward`s silhouette disappeared into the darkness.

I opened the door and the small light in the kitchen caught my eye. I saw my mom sitting at the table, reading a magazine. I tiptoed in.

"Hi, Mom," I whispered, "why aren`t you in bed? Is everybody OK? Were the girls alright?" 

"Yes, honey, everybody`s fine, nothing to worry about." 

"Then why are you here, can`t you sleep?" 

"Bella, I`m OK. You are such a mommy type, you know? So much more than I`ve ever been. I just wanted to see you when you came back."

"And who`s the mommy now, huh?" I smiled and sat at the other side of the table.

"Did you have fun? I`m so glad you went to that club."

"I had tons of fun, Mom. Can you believe I danced? I danced with each of the four guys and guess what? Neither of them lost a toe!"

My mom burst out laughing and I couldn't keep a straight face either.

"Did you get a birthday kiss?" Mom asked with a twinkle in her eyes and I ducked my head in shame.

"I did. On the cheek."

"Yay!" She squeaked in delight.

We turned off the light and Renèe disappeared in the guest bedroom while I went to check on the girls. They were sleeping soundly.

"Mommy`s back, baby. Everything is going to be alright," I twirled Sophie`s hair. I think I was trying to calm down myself rather than my blissfully unconscious child. I walked over to Rachel`s bed.

"Hi, Sweetie, I`m here," I brushed her cheek with my fingertip, "Mommy had a wonderful day and you know what, even her birthday wish came true, ten minutes before midnight…" I touched my cheek where Edward had kissed me.

I know thirty two isn't old at all, but I felt half my age that night, yeah, sixteen at the most.

**EPOV **

It was half past midnight, but my family was still awake. I bet my parents had been waiting for us, kids, to get home.

I was in the kitchen with my dad. Mom, Rose and Em had said their goodnights and were upstairs in the bedrooms. Dad, although after satisfying dinner, was looking for something to nibble on and I… didn't know what to do with myself.

My head was full of a girl...

"So, Bella, huh? She seems great!"

"Dad, I don't know what you`re talking about."

_Praise the Lord that Emmett`s decided to call it a day already._

"I`m talking about the beautiful brunette –"

"Dad, I know who you mean!" 

"Oh, do you now?"

I shook my head, "I just don't know where you are intending to go with this conversation."

_Oh wait, maybe I do._

"I`m just worried about you, or am I not allowed?"

"No need for sarcasm, Dad."

"Well, then don`t be so defensive. I have just said that the friend of yours whom we met tonight is a lovely woman and you`re ready to jump to my throat."

"I`m sorry, Dad, Emmett`s comments –"

"I know."

"Besides, Bella is Alice`s friend, not mine."

"It certainly didn't look like she was _unfriendly _towards you. And her children –"

"We went to the ZOO together." 

"Did you?" 

"Bella and Alice brought their children to the ZOO one day and I joined them, it was my day off."

"You don't need to explain yourself."

"I know, but I feel like I should, before this whole family jumps into some conclusions."

A sudden rumble on the staircase brought us both to reality. It was Emmett running down.

"Edward, good you`re still up. I think I left the folder with my restaurant papers in your car this morning." 

"Oh, yeah. The keys are in the pocket of my coat."

"Thanks, bro."

I nodded at Emmett and left the kitchen with Carlisle.

"So, Dad, I`ll see you in the morning."

"Sure, sure… wait, what is that?"

"Huh?" I followed my father`s gaze. There was something on the floor by the door. My parents` house was always immaculate and neither of us would ever dare spoiling the tide of the place. Carlisle picked up a piece of paper.

"Parking ticket," he said, but something felt odd to him, so he unfolded it. By the time he could read the printing I was beside him and knew exactly what it was.

"Dad, I think it`s mine –"

"A receipt from a florist for a bouquet of freesias for Miss Bella Swan –"

I grabbed it from him, "It`s mine. It must have fallen out of my pocket when Em was getting the car keys."

Carlisle raised his eyebrows, "Alice`s friend, huh?"

I wanted to say something, but he laughed, turned around and threw his arms in the air, "I rest my case!" Then he went to his bedroom.

"You OK, Edward?" Emmett was back.

"Yeah, fine."

"Thanks," he dropped the keys in my hand. "So, Bella, huh?"

"Argh! Good night Emmett!" I growled and headed for the stairs.

**A/N: Ooh, somebody`s being a little sensitive… Poor Eddie. Next time we`ll hear from him only! **

**Thank you for the lovely reviews and favouriting and subscribing… It means sooooooo much! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 EPOV**

**MY SISTER IS PSYCHIC!**

I closed the door and lay on the bed.

Who would have thought, only several days previously that my mind would be clouded by a woman, or rather a goddess as Bella Swan is certainly much more than just a woman.

My college friend who runs a dental practice went away for a week and I had agreed to take over for those few days when I wasn't working at the hospital. A little over a week ago on a Friday night, Mrs. Cope walked into the room with a patient with pain. A chipped tooth pressed onto the neighboring one and their nerves were sent on fire. I anaesthetized the area and the woman`s blue eyes spilled tears of relief. I repaired what I could but I was going to have to get an x-ray of the area and see her again. I asked her if she wanted Mrs. Cope to call a cab but she said her friend would bring her home and thanked me.

There were no more appointments for the day and the place was quiet. I walked out to the waiting room together with the patient and saw… stars.

A hot vixen put away a magazine that she had in her hand and stood up from her chair. I scanned her whole body as she approached her friend and me. She was a bit taller than my sister, about five foot four or five foot five, slim, but delicately round in all the right places. Her hair was deeply brown or mahogany or whatever they call it and looked naturally wavy, except now some strands were damp, like she`d been sprayed or splashed on. She had no makeup on and her skin was pale, porcelain like, flawless. Her sweatpants clung to her long, shapely legs and I envied the fabric… And then my eyes fell on her white cotton t-shirt. It was damp all across her chest and stomach…

_Deep, professional breath, Cullen. _

There were outlines of what it looked like a sports bra underneath it, but that extra layer didn't help hide two peaks on the outer swells of the girl`s breasts. The two hard buttons nearly smiled at me and I was so glad that I had a doctor`s apron on, because at that very moment her nipples weren't the only body parts between us trying to break through our clothes.

_God, I would suck on you two puppies like there was no tomorrow…_

"Hello", Goddess`s voice brought me back from my fantasy. She squeezed the Patient`s arm in a soothing gesture before our eyes met. She had a downcast look, I felt like she knew everything about me.

Nevertheless, my eyes darted between her and Patient`s warm exchange. It seemed like they were friends and cared abut each other. _What if they are… together? Like, `together` together?_ Seriously, there were two of them, clearly in the same place on a Friday night. One was wet, like she`d enjoyed a water fight or something. _Had they been playing together? Had they been having fun in the kitchen, cooking and splashing about when Patient frantically tried to open some container with food in the kitchen, so dinner would be finished quickly and they could… focus on other activities? _ Call me crazy, but I can still remember two girls in college who just looked like best friends, looking out for each other, shopping, cooking, eating, studying together… very innocently, you would say. So did I and other guys whose advanced had been ignored, until one of us walked in on the two hotties fingering each other and eating each other`s faces. Apparently, they didn't even flinch. As far as I know, they moved to New York after college and live together. God bless them, I have nothing against that. Nothing against, unless I`m ready to beg a goddess, standing in front of me in a wet t-shirt and hair smelling like strawberries by the way, to take me and make me her slave boy…

Somehow I trudged through a short explanation of what procedures I had applied to Patient and saw Goddess pull out her hand. On instinct, before I could process my own movements, my hand enveloped hers. It was soft and warm. She squeezed my palm and I felt the squeeze in my balls. She thanked for my help. _You`re welcome, Oh Mistress._

"No problem, Mrs…" _?_

The corners of her mouth lifted a little, "_Miss_ Swan."

_Miss Swan…_

_Alright, I`ve gotta get out of here. I hope she didn't hear my zipper snap in two. _

I was going to miss the little pebbles and their owner. I was a doctor on duty so I couldn't just ask her if by any chance she would ditch her girlfriend and play with Little Eddie instead. I was going to need a plan how to discretely find out the type of `ship` they had.

I couldn't believe that the sight of a woman could turn me on so much. Yeah, alright, I`d had fun back in the day, I mean once I discovered how to work the tool, I wanted to be good. Hey, maybe I`m a perfectionist. And what do you do when you want to be good at something? All together now – PRACTICE!

So, I practiced. The girls were satisfied and Little Eddie`s confidence was expanding. Then I met Lauren. Lauren was a daughter of my father`s fellow doctor friend. Maybe `friend` is too big a word, colleague is more accurate. Anyway, Lauren was a long-legged blond who had eyes and other parts of her body set on me. I didn't want to cause any rifts between my dad and his colleague, of course _wink,_ _wink,_ so I made sure Lauren was pleased with me, _more winks_. The problem was she was a spoilt brat who wanted to be a lady. Although she never let me do anything that went beyond her idea of how a lady and a gentleman were supposed to behave in the bedroom and my attempts to try out new things resulted in me finishing the job off myself, I thought it was OK. You can`t have everything, right? Against the appearance, I never had this sex animal in me, I found it somewhat tough to… connect, if that`s the right word?

I barely noticed when Lauren`s mother began to talk rings and wedding bells… It hit me that while wanting to work my tool I had actually become one myself. I ran! I fucking ran!

At first I worried what Carlisle would say, but he congratulated me for `having balls`. Esme didn't like the girl`s family`s standoffish attitude, so she also was glad I was free. She said I could finally find the girl who would love me for who I truly was. Don't laugh; my mom grew up on classic Disney.

Some time later I realized that my childhood dream to be a doctor like my dad had actually extended onto my private life, too. My brother had a loving wife and I was a pussy enough to admit that I wanted something like that as well. My parents are the perfect couple, I grew up with this idyllic idea of a family and wanted nothing more myself; you know, come back home from work to a `honey`, plant the seed and all.

Then in Phoenix I met Tanya. I knew she wanted me, but not a family. She said she wasn't cut out to be all wifey and with a kid hanging on her boob. At first I believed that the stability of our relationship would change her mind, but years passed and we still hadn`t moved forward. My faith turned into hope only. Once, Tanya found me looking at engagement rings in a jewelry magazine and threw a fit. I heard that she wasn't going to get married and didn't plan kids, ever. At last the message sank in and a few days later I moved out of our apartment.

Tanya wounded my ego and probably even broke my heart a little as I thought I was falling for her. She assured me though that I was falling for my own image of her and not the real woman.

I moved back to Seattle. Instead of "getting back" at women for my failure with Tanya, I lost interest in them for a long time. Slowly, after repairing the blood pumping muscle inside me, I closed it off, moved closer to my family and concentrated on my work. My job became my life and I didn't have time to go out anyway. For a while there was a girl around, a nurse… Yeah, she took good care of Little Eddie but neither of us wanted anything more out of it which it suited me well. Then my friend met someone else and actually fell for the guy. The "ship" was over.

Now, a long time later, no wonder that I was reacting like that to a woman. Miss Swan was so alluring, so tempting. But there was something about her that not only made me want to touch her in all the good places but also… embrace her afterwards?

_Good grief, Cullen, get a grip._

I went home and didn't know what to do with myself. I thought shower would help but every time Miss Swan sneaked into my mind, I saw her hand rubbing Miss Brandon`s arm, so I switched the water to cold and calmed down.

Later I got a call from my sister.

"Hi, sweetie!"

"Alice, hi. Jeez, I haven't heard from you in ages," I chortled. We had just gone to brunch earlier that day.

"Um… am I disturbing you, do you want me to hang up?" 

"No, just joking. How are you doing? Missing your husband so badly that you`ve resorted to your brother?"

Alice`s husband, my best friend Jasper was out of town for a couple of days. I`d say she`d put her son Hugo to sleep and had nobody to open her mouth to. To a ball of fire like my sister is, it must have been hard.

"Ha, ha, very funny. In fact I am calling _you _to help _you_ out from _your_ misery."

"My misery?"

"Yes, Edward, you heard it right. Hugo and I are going to the ZOO tomorrow and I invited Bella and her daughters to go with us. Wanna join us? She`s really gorgeous, Edward."

_Gorgeous?_ I thought of Miss Swan… Yes, Miss Swan was gorgeous.

My sister had made some emotional connection with a woman who came to her shop. Her name was Bella, she was fab (Alice`s words) and was raising two daughters alone. That`s all I knew about the stranger but my sister decided that the rest is my own to discover and that this Bella girl and I would be fab together. I was going to be _fab. _Jeez.

"Alice, I don't know…"

"Listen, it`s a couple of nice people spending some time together, that`s it. You have a day off and you haven't seen your favorite nephew in a week…"

Alright, she pulled out the heavy artillery, Hugo. I loved this five-year-old guy like my own. If I had my own kids to compare, that is. I usually saw him at least once a week, but now between Stefan`s surgery and the hospital time was slipping through my hands. But tomorrow was Saturday and I had absolutely nothing planned.

"Alright, I`ll be there, but please don't hold your hopes high, Alice, OK?"

"Have I ever set you up with someone you didn't like? 

"No, you`ve never set me up with anyone, Alice!"

"My point exactly. I`ve never done it because I know you and I want to see you with somebody as special as you are, someone who`s been worth waiting for."

"I know, you`re psychic."

"I just have this strong feeling, Edward. Unless you`re worried about the children; I mean, she has two young daughters –" 

"Alice, let`s just meet up and go to the ZOO, OK? I`ll smile and be nice and charming. She`s your friend but please, don't expect me to drop to her feet." 

So, the plans were made. It was weird to have my sister act like that. Would I normally be interested in a single mother of two? I don't know, I`ve never met a single mother, neither of my previous partners had kids. Why was this Bella alone with hers?

I remember falling asleep and dreaming that Alice`s Bella was in fact my Miss Swan… or the other way round…

I picked up my sister and nephew next morning and drove to the ZOO. And then through the crowd, I saw her… Miss Swan. My Goddess was there, at the ZOO! There were people walking in front of me and every time someone obstructed my view of her, I sank and prayed for that soft face and long hair to reappear.

"There she is!" Alice waved her head in the same direction as I was looking. We were going to meet Bella and her daughters and I would lose Miss Swan again. I had to think of something.

I would find this woman and today!

My mind hazed over for a minute and then I saw Miss Swan waving in my direction!

_Fuck, did she recognize me? Is she waving at me?_

I was trying to process what was going on when my sister waved excitedly too, in direction of Miss Swan… I reckoned we were approaching Bella but I couldn't see anything else except a cascade of soft brownness on the shoulders of an angel. As I was preparing my newly discovered inner teenager to at least mumble a greeting to Miss Swan before I got swiped to meet my sister`s friend, Alice shouted "Hi, Bella!" and threw herself… into Miss Swan`s arms!

_Oh, fucking hell!_

In no time I was holding her hand again, re-introducing myself, this time as Edward and not Doctor Cullen. God, was she beautiful! Something in me reacted to her touch again. I couldn't make a fool of myself in front of her and tried my best not to ravish her there and then. While she shook Hugo`s hand, I introduced myself to her daughters, Rachel and Sophie. What cuties! Just like their Mommy. And their names… I couldn't help but smile.

And Lord, was I grateful for Alice! Maybe she really is psychic? To match my dreams like that takes talent, it must be said. She was officially my favorite sister and it didn't matter that she`s the _only _sister I had.

The young ones had this energy that bounced off the three of us adults and soon we were all a bunch of kids, jumping, running, imitating animals` voices and movements. Sophie and Rachel seemed to have fun and I wanted to impress their mother, so I put all my self-consciousness aside and acted like an ape, literally, I pretended to be a chimpanzee. Those real ones looked at my impression of them like I belonged with them, on their side of the net… All the girls and Hugo laughed though, so it was good.

The whole time I couldn't stop looking at Bella. If I had my way, I`d be just staring at her like a fourteen-year-old boy crushing on a hot new neighbor or a teacher, but I was a thirty-four-year-old man in a public place so quick glances were all I was allowed to steal. Every time the wind blew Bella`s hair, I could feel a faint scent of strawberries. I reckoned it was her shampoo and wanted to lean in closer and smell that hair until I was dizzy. She had big chocolate brown eyes and curtains of long, thick lashes around them. When she looked at me, I felt like she knew that I had thought about her the previous night and almost jacked off to the memory of her and the only thing that stopped me was I thought that she was seeing another woman. Now, when I knew that Miss Kate Brandon was Bella`s children`s minder, the teenage version of me chuckled and whispered that Bella owed me one… That kiddo in me got locked away until I went home.

She wore skinny jeans and a dark green, fitted, short-sleeved button down shirt which hugged her curves perfectly. Hugo pointed out that Bella and I were both wearing Converse runners and I nearly promised him the world as a thank you for the blush it caused on Bella`s face.

At lunch, another dream of my pathetic, horny self was granted. Alice stayed outside with the kids and Bella and I went to the restaurant on the ZOO premises to get some food. It wasn't exactly like I wanted but in a way we were alone as the others at the restaurant didn't know that she and I had just met. I offered to stand in line while Bella picked up some small snacks and then, ignoring or not even noticing a few guys drooling over her, she made her way to me, with a smile. I sighed. As we made hot food choices, we both leaned over to each other and talked quietly. The teenage brat in me was bursting through the keyhole; he was desperate to get closer to Bella. Yes, that strawberry smell was definitely her shampoo, now standing inches from her I knew it for sure. She also smelled like flowers. I didn't know if it was her fabric softener or her skin. God, her skin… She brushed against me every now and then and my teenage self thought he was in heaven. That was seriously better than looking at boobs in a Playboy magazine.

I found out that Bella was a book editor, responsible for the Child and Young Reader section at Newton Publishing. All of the kids and teenager books were up for her approval before being published. Alice seemed to know that particular firm. She said that the books I had bought for Hugo recently were from Bella`s publishing house. I didn't remember but I felt proud nonetheless, proud of myself and Bella. Why would I be proud of myself when I had nothing to do with those books? I don't know, maybe I liked the idea that I bought something that Bella had read and liked. You know, like we had the same taste or something.

When it was time to go home, I helped her buckle the children in their seats. They were tired and cranky. I knew Bella needed to rest too and I wanted to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be alright.

I brought Alice and Hugo back home and hovered… Alice was her usual self, dancing around.

"Will you stay for dinner, Edward?"

"You`re great, Alice, thank you, but I should be going. Hugo`s tired and I`m sure you`d like to relax. It`s been a really good day, thanks for inviting me," I said, standing in the kitchen doorway.

"Don't be daft, the guest bedroom is yours and you know it," Alice cocked her head and looked at me with her huge blue eyes, smiling.

I smiled back, "Thank you, sis, but I really should go."

"No problem," she patted me on the arm.

I said bye to my nephew, who was on the way to his bedroom to get his pajamas. Alice stayed at the bottom of the stairs and as her son disappeared upstairs, she turned to me.

"So?"

"Do you know why she`s alone with the children?"

"Ha! I knew it!" Alice exclaimed with a grin on her face.

"Knew what?"

"You like her! I knew it!"

"Well…" I stuttered, "It would be hard not to. She`s great… but she has two children, Alice…", I sighed heavily, resigned, "They are fun little girls, but still, Bella is a single mother and we don`t know where the daddy is. Or do we?" I glanced at my sister with hopeful eyes.

"No, she doesn't talk about the girls` father. She may be a widow, but I don't want to pry. We don't know each other that well yet. One way or another, she`s a wonderful woman and deserves good, caring friends, male friends as well as female," she finished with a raised brow and I suddenly realized that I didn't want to wait for another ZOO escapade to see Bella. I wanted, _needed, _to stay in touch with her anytime I wanted, anytime we wanted. If _she_ wanted it, of course.

I smiled to myself. "What would I need to do to get her number from you?"

"Why didn't you ask her yourself?" My sister sang.

"I haven't thought about it until now. So, what do you want me to do?"

"Pass me a piece of paper from the kitchen and I`ll get my cell."

I grabbed a post-it note and a pencil. Alice scrolled down through her contacts list and wrote down a number.

"If Bella asks, you had to promise to buy me a yellow Ferrari to get her number, right?"

"I`ll text her. She`ll only reply if she wants to. No high hopes. Even if she really is alone with the children and the father is not a part of the picture, she deserves more than I could give her."

"She deserves the best. That's why I gave her number to _you_."

…..

Bella took over my mind; her scent, her look, her touch, her smile and laughter made my knees weak and my dick steel hard. As soon as I got home, I got into the shower. My hand wasn`t the real thing and was getting stiff and the hot water was running out, but it was worth it; the release overtook me in a strong way. I slid down the shower wall trembling and exhausted, with my heart pounding like I was having a heart attack.

In the end, I worked up the courage and sent Bella a message,

`I had a really great fun today. Hope the girls didn't give you a hard time. Don't be mad at Alice, I harassed her until she gave me your number. Goodnight. Edward.`

I read it a few times to make sure it was simple and honest, but not needy. It was half past nine in the evening.

I went to bed an hour later. She hadn`t replied…

My Sunday started early, with a six o`clock shift at the hospital. I was talking to the nurses and checking the patients` record cards when my telephone signaled a message from Bella. I swallowed.

_OK, let`s have it._

`Hi, Edward. So sorry I didn't answer last night, I fell asleep on the couch early. The girls were manageable, nothing I hadn`t seen before. I had fun, too. Thank you for texting me. Have a good day. Bella.`

So, last night she was tired and just fell asleep… A smile escaped me and two nurses giggled. I closed the phone and looked up at them.

"Doctor Cullen, please don't keep her waiting, answer now," I heard from one of the ladies.

"How do you know it was from a lady?" I used my charm and asked the woman playfully.

"The smile," she stated simply.

I shook my head. Funny how transparent you are even when you think nobody knows anything about you. Do all women pick things up like that?

Bella and I went on with our message exchange and each time the text signal on my phone made my heart speed up.

_I`m such a pussy._

And then she wrote that she wouldn't bother me anymore. I had to go see the patients and answered quickly that she could bother me any time she wanted. It was about an hour later when I had a free minute that I realized the innuendo… Would I want to be `bothered` by Bella? Hell, yes, YES! But I knew that she was a mother and she might take this kind of stuff as inappropriate and all my chances to get to know her better would fizzle out.

I had to be careful. I _wanted _to be careful.

I practically lived in the hospital for a few days so I could take some time off when my brother and his wife came from Alaska. Bella`s family was visiting her from Phoenix so it gave me time to calm down. Or so I hoped it would. Just one meeting with her and I knew I liked her. She was beautiful, smart, bloody sexy and she was the most loving mommy a child could ask for. I wanted to know more about her but at the same time I wanted to avoid a situation where she would think I was stalking her or had only one thing on my mind. I needed to cool down and let her be.

Easier said than done though. I thought about her every day. I wondered how she was doing at work and how she was managing with her daughters. And I smiled at the memory of them too, they were downright cute. I remembered when Hugo was around the same age as Sophie and Rachel but being a boy he was just different; great, fantastic, but different. Bella`s girls were…well, girls, I suppose. I was never a man who absolutely and definitely had to have a male offspring. I imagined a son, yes, but I thought that coming back home and getting a peck on the cheek by a princess who had used her mommy`s lipstick would be one of the best things in the world.

As much fun as I was having with Emmett and Rosalie around, I was kind of waiting for their visit to be over so I could possibly see Bella again. I felt that she liked me, too.

Alice had Bella`s business card with her work address, so in the morning of her birthday I sent her flowers. I remembered her smelling like strawberries and freesias so I decided on a bouquet of freesias. They`re also my mom`s favorite flowers, I know that scent well.

All day long I thought how much I wanted to kiss her on her special day… Sure, the kid in me wanted to storm into her office and have my way with her, but the grown up me would settle for a smooch.

_OK, Cullen, cool. She`s probably with her boyfriend tonight. She`ll be in his arms and he`ll be doing things to her… Aaargh! _

And then tonight happened…

I was in the restaurant with my parents, Rose and Emmett waiting for the Whitlocks to join us, when out of the blue from across the room I saw Bella, Rachel, Sophie and a few other people sitting at the table. At first I only saw Sophie who waved at me feverishly and then my eyes fell on her mother… _Oh, Jesus Christ, I`ve died and gone to Heaven._ Even from afar she was stunning.

My eye fixation caught my family`s attention and one side of me wanted to run to Bella and the other one pleaded with my body not to give away on what it was feeling when this girl was near. I scanned the gender profile at her table and counted her companions. The only young guy in the group was whispering sweet nothings to a woman beside him. No, definitely not Bella`s man. Not the girls` father anyway. Judging by the children`s looks I imagined their father to be dark blond or so, and pale skinned. This guy was a Native American and just as I was stealing another glance at Bella, he raised his left hand to run through his hair and his wedding band flashed in the lights. So, Bella was alone again… On the one hand I was glad, because for some reason a tiny part of my twisted mind thought I could claim her and on the other I felt sorry that on her special day nobody was holding her in a romantic way. Maybe she didn`t mind, maybe she didn`t want it or maybe I myself would have loved to be sitting only inches from her… Oh, frustration!

My eyes seemed glued to the other side of the room. I saw Bella and Sophie glancing at my table talking and smiling, and seconds later the little girl was on her way over to me. She looked a bit uncertain and shy, but the fact that she recognized me from the ZOO and wanted to say hello made me smile. The smile seemed to have given her more courage and she sprinted straight to my lap.

"Hello, Sophie. How are you?"

"Hi, Edward."

"Erm… " Emmett`s brows were almost touching his hairline.

The rest of the family pretty much followed his suit.

"Everybody, this is Sophie," I said. My heart fluttered stupidly as I looked at the familiar faces.

"Hello, Sophie, I`m Rose," my sister-in-law put her hand out cautiously. Sophie looked up at me. I nodded and she placed her little hand in Rosalie`s.

"And I`m Emmett. I am Edward`s big brother," Em thrust his hand out, clearly encouraged by his wife. Sophie giggled and shook his hand.

"This lady is my mom and this is my dad," I motioned towards Esme and Carlisle. They both squeezed the child`s hand and my mom squeaked how sweet Sophie was.

"And who are you, young lady? Who is here with you?" Em asked, staring at me and Sophie feeling at ease on my lap. She leaned into me and I instinctively rubbed her arms.

"I am Sophie Swan," she stated theatrically. Her hair tickled my chin. It smelled like peaches. It reminded me of her mother`s strawberry smelling locks.

"Well, that`s a beautiful name, Miss Swan. It is very nice to meet you," my brother responded seriously and Sophie and I chuckled; herself probably at the `Miss` title and I… remembering _Miss Swan_, the name I had called her mom some time earlier.

She turned to face me, "I go to Mommy now."

"No problem, Sophie," I said.

"Yummy cake coming," her eyes twinkled with excitement.

My relatives` eyes traveled discretely over to Bella`s table.

"How about I walk you back to Mommy and wish her a happy birthday, what do you think?" I asked, winking at her.

"Yes!" She hopped onto the floor and held my hand. I looked in front of me and saw Bella standing up and Rachel being helped out of her seat.

With every single step forward my knees got weaker. Bella wore a knee-length black dress that hugged her figure perfectly, her long mahogany waves rested on her shoulders and she had black high-heeled `fuck me` shoes on. And she was looking at me. The only thing that prevented me from falling at her feet like a big blob of jelly was a two-year-old holding my hand.

I stood with her face to face and I felt Rachel tugging on my jacket. I smiled and picked her up. Sophie stood between her mom and I and held our hands, one of each.

I have troubles recalling what exactly happened in the next few minutes. I know I wished Bella a happy birthday, I know she introduced me to her family and I know that at the same time the Whitlocks entered the restaurant and came over to say hello. All I could see, smell and hear was Bella. Her dress was quite low cut, not flashy and flaunty, but tastefully hinting at the two full mounds hiding beneath the material. My eyes lingered there for a minute.

_Shit, I look like a perv! I have one child in my arm, another holding my hand and my peepers are diving down this goddess`s cleavage. _

Her skin looked so soft and smooth. She smelled like fruit and flowers again, her voice sounded like a song and her smiles were turning me into a blushing idiot. She was assaulting my senses, and given that we were in the company of other people, I was relieved that Alice had chosen to come in at that particular moment and dilute the tension between us. Well, I was tense anyway, while Bella was terribly sweet, kind and polite. It was me who had to keep his inner horny bastard constantly in check.

Apparently I wasn't going to have it easy tonight, because Rachel asked her Mommy to be brought to the bathroom and now it was Bella`s turn to walk towards my family who were watching like we were the best tv show in history. Rachel walked proudly, holding Bella`s and my hands. For a moment the rest of my clan got distracted by my sister and her family`s arrival and I sat back in my chair, while Bella and her daughter disappeared round the corner.

Just as I thought my frantic prayers were answered and my family had forgotten what they had witnessed earlier, Bella and Rachel strolled right over to our table. She took my breath away again.

"Hello everyone," she looked at my family with a gentle smile, "I hope you`re having a good time and weren`t disturbed by my daughter too much."

We all protested and I stood up to introduce Bella and her girl to my relatives. I found myself standing arm in arm with her again. My mother`s eyes dashed between the two of us and her lips produced a small but victorious smile.

Bella bent down to pick up Rachel and I found myself staring at the cleavage again, I couldn't help it. And of course, she noticed it this time. Oops. Faint pinkness shot through her face.

_I`m embarrassing her in front of strangers, idiot. _

Minutes later all the occupants in the restaurant turned their eyes on Bella as she received a rendition of "Happy Birthday" from her family and friends and blew out the candles on her cake. I could swear she blushed. Then Alice clapped her hands and said that we should find out what Bella`s doing after dinner and maybe join together for a drink and a dance at `de Ville`, a club minutes walk from the restaurant.

I wanted to voice that Bella probably had plans with her family, but having been told hundreds of times not to argue with a pregnant woman, I didn't dare going against my expecting sister, besides there was some kind of hope in me…

Minutes later my siblings, Bella, her friends Leah and Jacob and I walked to the club.

There was a funny situation when Jasper was ordering drinks and asked Bella if she wanted `sex on the beach`. I knew he was talking about a cocktail, but hearing Bella say that she hadn`t had sex on the beach in a long time and didn't remember what it tasted like made me want to scoot out of the club and save my pants from embarrassment. I knew that the image of Bella naked, writhing underneath me on a beach towel spread on the golden sand would lull me to sleep tonight. Or plunge me into madness first.

Then we danced, legs to legs, stomach to stomach, chest to chest and hand in hand. I felt the softness of her breasts pressed against me, her one warm hand in mine and the other slipping from my shoulder onto my arm, her hair begging to be touched and buried in, her subtle smell enveloping my being… Who needs alcohol? Somewhere in the middle of the song I traced a vein on Bella`s neck and it strained. I wanted to taste it, to check if my fifth sense would get tantalized just like the other four.

She seemed shy at first, but how wrong was I; she danced and chatted with my siblings and hit it off with Rose. Jasper thought she was hilarious, which is normally extremely hard to get out of him; it has probably something to do with his professor face. And Emmett looked like he wanted to hug Bella and never let go. I was glad that we were all at ease with each other. Bella`s friends, Leah and Jacob were a nice couple. Leah is a nurse in a hospital in Forks and Jacob restores vintage cars so I had something in common with both of them, though Rose with her fixation about cars monopolized Jake pretty much. I know that this is one of the things my brother loves in his wife, it`s uncommon to meet a woman who is genuinely interested in more than the color while talking about vehicles.

I wasn't ready to part with Bella yet and I offered to walk her home.

It was quiet and pleasant around and there were just the two of us and an occasional dog walker passing by. Bella`s heels made a steady clatter on the pavement right beside me and I loved the sound. I wanted to hold her hand but she crossed her arms on her chest, so I stuck my hands in my pockets.

As we got closer to her house, she took her shoes off and I took them and swished them in my hand as we walked. It felt good, almost intimate in some way, like as if we were close.

Funny, the closer to the end of the night we got, the less animalistic I felt. I was turned on without a doubt, but I had learned a few more things about Bella and realized that I really liked the girl. I was determined not to scare her because I wanted to see her again. I wanted Bella to want to see me again. Taking things slowly and one step at a time seemed like the best scenario.

When the moment to say goodbye couldn't be put off any longer though, I couldn't resist, I needed to feel her skin. It was more important than air in that moment. I studied her face for a minute wishing to be able to recreate it later in my mind, and rubbed a finger against her cheek. Bella didn't seem to have the courage to look me in the eyes which was very sweet, and her brown pools rested on my lips while she bit her own lower lip.

A dim light was on in one of the rooms in Bella`s house, maybe her parents left it on for her on purpose, maybe someone was even watching us… I smiled to myself quickly. As much as I would like to invade Bella`s mouth with my tongue and be proud that it was me kissing this girl like that in front of the whole street, I leaned down and pecked the cheek I had caressed seconds earlier.

"Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward."

I turned around and walked away, feeling her eyes on me until midnight darkness took me in. I had never, ever in my life, felt so alone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: all over again, OK. I don`t own Twilight, I do however have a hamster… read on and you`ll know what I`m talking about here, haha!**

**All the characters in this story are essentially good. "Back home" is full of fluff and cheese, you have been warned! **

**To all the lovely people who have read, reviewed and favourited the story, I cannot thank you enough! **

**Chapter 5 BPOV**

**STRAWBERRIES, BUTTERFLIES AND LIFE IS GOOD TO THE NEWTON MEN**

It was a week after my birthday. My parents and friends were gone back to their lives. My mom shed a few tears when leaving, but this time it was more over the fact that she was going to miss Rachel and Sophie than her fears over my abilities to run my life myself.

Funny, when I was a kid I felt like I was the mother in the house and Renèe was the one growing up. Now with my girls she can love without the responsibilities, so I suppose it is easier to enjoy.

I was meeting Alice, Jasper and Edward for coffee and a piece of cake as we had planned earlier. Amazingly enough, given our schedules, we all made it one day at lunchtime.

"No sex on the beach today, Jasper?" I said to Alice`s husband, bringing back the feeling of comfort from `de Ville` club. We all chuckled.

Edward sat beside me, opposite his sister and brother in law. I had missed his presence.

We had my favorite carrot cake and the boys ordered espressos while Alice and I enjoyed lattes. We chatted about work and children. Alice`s bump, although tiny, was already starting to show. She flattened her loose dress to give me an idea what it looked like and Jasper placed his hand over the little protrusion. I almost felt the warmth in my own stomach.

They are so beautiful together. Jasper has a quiet presence that people feel drawn to. He`s so collected and content. He seems to have found his place in the world and his place in the world is this incredible, bouncy ball of energy sitting beside him and looking at him with adoring, bright blue eyes. He called his wife "Ali" and it felt like an intimate caress. I had a sneaky suspicion that only Jasper was allowed to call her that.

They are a great couple, so calmly and quietly sure of each other, so natural and comfortable, like two pieces of the same jigsaw, fitting ideally. The look of total adoration for each other in their eyes tugged on something in my chest. If I ever met a man who looked at me like that, I swear I would never let him go.

Suddenly Edward got paged and had to go back to the hospital. Jasper went to collect Hugo from school while Alice and I stayed alone for another twenty minutes.

"Alice, Jasper is fantastic. I`ve only met him twice but it`s undeniable how much he loves you," I said earnestly.

"Thank you," she smiled warmly into the air and I was sure that Jasper`s face filled her mind in that moment.

"I just think you`re perfect together."

"Thank you again, Bella. Some people believed that we were too different to make it work, but I suppose they didn't know how sometimes I slow down and Jasper speeds up so to speak, and we meet in the middle," she giggled like a teenage girl and I followed.

"I see."

"I`ve gotta tell you a story," she said leaning forward to me and I instinctively moved closer to her.

"OK, shoot."

Alice blushed slightly and shook her head with a chuckle, "Right."

"Is it embarrassing?"

"No, not really. Maybe a bit. Anyway, it`s called the strawberry story. Years and years ago, when Jasper and I were only dating, a friend of mine and I read some magazine one day. In it there was this so called `psycho test`," Alice made a sign for inverted commas in the air, "and it was about fruit and love. Essentially, you chose a fruit from a given selection and it told you what you wanted in your love life at the time. I chose strawberries and it meant that I wanted sex…"

"Alright…" I murmured.

"We laughed it off at the beginning. Some time later there was a party at a friend`s house and someone brought in a bowl of fruit. My friend asked me what I wanted and I said `well, strawberries, of course`. We burst into laughter and Jasper asked to be let into the secret. So we told him what it was about. A few days later when my family was away and I was home alone, I opened the door to Jasper… and a basket of strawberries! Bella, it wasn't a punnet or a box, it was a freaking _basket_ of strawberries! I looked at him, at the fruit, at him again and we both started laughing," Alice`s face was stretched in a massive smile, "We didn't have sex that day, but we knew that we were on the same page. It happened the following day and never ended, we love strawberries and `strawberries`, if you catch my drift."

"Wow, I would have never suspected Jasper of something like that."

"Believe me, he knows plenty of little tricks and they all work on me."

"Well, if he has a brother, you are very welcome to give him my number."

Alice laughed, "Bella, Jasper is an only child, I`m afraid, but _I do_ have a brother and I _have given_ him your number already."

I blushed. "Alice…"

"I know, I know, I`m sorry. I shouldn`t have. Let`s keep it light, shall we?"

I smiled and nodded.

Before we both went back to work, arrangements were made for dinner together. I really liked Alice a lot. She was very funny and I felt energized every time I met her. I hoped she would tell me many more stories about her family and about the years she`d spent in England. I found it very entertaining that she could speak with a perfect British accent and regularly used British phraseology.

The next few weeks were quiet. I caught myself thinking about Edward often. He was working double shifts and we only communicated through the phone. I always looked forward to his calls and regularly checked for messages.

One day when Edward wasn`t going to the hospital till later that evening and I finished work earlier, we were going to Alice`s for lunch. I was almost jumping up and down like a little girl with excitement. On the one hand my body was crying that he and I wouldn`t be alone but on the other it was a blessing; I would see Edward and at the same time it was going to be safe, with his sister around.

I followed the instructions to Alice and Jasper`s house and I was nicely surprised to see Edward arriving directly behind me. I instantly felt my body performing its own ritual, as if in hope of something… whatever it may have been. I stood straighter, taller, my breasts perked up, my mouth was dry and my panties were getting damp.

_Nice one, Bella._

"Hello there," he said flashing his crooked smile at me.

"Hi, Edward, how are you?" I tried to sound confident and failed miserably. My knees went weak and wobbly.

Alice saved me from more embarrassment as she opened the front door to us. Her son was beside her, clearly very anxious and impatient.

"Bella, Edward, come quickly!" He couldn`t stop dancing around.

"What`s going on, Hugo?" I asked and looked from him to Alice to him again. 

"They`re hatching!"

"What`s hatching?" 

"My butterflies!"

"OH!" I followed him to the living room with Alice and Edward behind us.

"Look, this one is ready!" Hugo pointed at a black shape in a net bag placed by the window.

Alice leaned down and ran a hand down her son`s arm. "Sweetie, this may take a while, remember?"

Hugo`s eyes didn't leave the object in the bag, "But you said it was ready, Mom."

"It looks like it`s ready, but still we don't know when exactly it is going to happen. Don't worry, they are fine, all five of them."

"Why are these two so black? And they smell of burn," Edward pointed a finger at two cocoons. If I didn't know better, I would say that the three brown objects looked like some small animal`s poos, but the other two were completely black. Their smell reminded me of the time when I put my bare hand into the oven to turn over a piece of garlic bread and accidentally touched the hot rack; my burnt skin smelled terrible.

"That`s because they are fully transformed now and almost ready to come out," Alice explained.

"I see," Edward said and I nodded in understanding.

"Come on guys, would you like some tea or would you rather eat lunch straight away?" His sister spoke again.

Edward laughed looking at me. "Could you say that my sister studied in London?" 

We decided on English Earl Grey tea and a chat first. Edward and I went to the kitchen with Alice while Hugo decided to stay and watch the cocoons. About ten minutes later, when the three of us were sitting at the table with tea, coffee and cake, Hugo rushed past us.

"Everything OK, munchkin?" Alice`s forehead creased.

"Yeah, I need to go to the bathroom," Hugo was already down the hallway.

"He`s so excited," his mom shook her head.

I stood up and walked to the bag with the little creatures. "Alice, this is really fascinating. Where did you get the cocoons from anyway?" I asked, for some reason fascinated by the mystery of the insects.

"Oh, there is this educational website where you can order them. They send you a net bag and a box with five or ten tiny caterpillars, so you watch them eat and grow and after they`ve built the cocoons you transfer them into the bag and wait for them to hatch. Then you can put flowers and sweetened water inside the bag and watch the butterflies for a day or two before releasing them. Last year Hugo`s class did it in school, but all the butterflies hatched over the weekend and the kids didn't get to see it, so I ordered them for home. He wasn't patient back then but this year he would sit beside the bag for hours. It`s October now and the last days to breed them, it`s getting too cold. He already says he wants to do it again, so we`ll wait till April and order some more."

We heard Hugo rummaging through the cupboards in the kitchen. "Mommy, can I have a chocolate chip cookie instead of the cake, please?"

"Alright, but just one, OK?" Alice called out.

"Guys, this one is moving!" I said looking at the black shape in the bag shivering and shaking slightly.

In a matter of seconds Hugo was beside me, cookie forgotten. Alice and Edward left the table and all four of us leaned our heads down over the bag.

"Yep, that`s it." Alice stated.

As if on cue, the bottom of the cocoon cracked and second after second, little by little we saw a dark, rather narrow `thing` pushing its way out of the confining diaphragm. Once I realized that this `thing` was actually real and live I gasped loudly and automatically grabbed Edward`s hand beside me and squeezed it. He wove his long fingers through mine. This was amazing. The bug pushed and pushed out and at the end it fell to the bottom of the bag. The cocoons were hung an inch above it so the new arrival didn`t hurt itself, but for a second I got worried anyway. We all `wowed` and `oohed` and `aahed". The "thing" picked itself up and immediately climbed up the net on long thin legs.

"It doesn't have wings, Mommy." Hugo sounded disappointed.

"Oh, it does, honey, just watch."

And so we all watched. I realized that I had just witnessed the birth of a living being, a new life and I felt proud, lucky and almost teary. The `thing` sat on the net and slowly the middle part of its body began to unroll; the wings.

"You see, the wings have to be rolled up inside the cocoon so they don't get creased." Alice informed and I felt that she was speaking to Edward and I as much as she was to Hugo. The three of us nodded.

"But why?" Hugo wanted to clear up.

"It wouldn't be able to fly otherwise; the wings are delicate and could tear easily."

"What specie of a butterfly is it?" I whispered not wanting to scare the `newborn` or `newhatched` with loud sounds.

"Painted lady."

"This is fascinating," I heard Edward`s voice and instinctively turned to him. His beautiful green eyes were focused on the painted lady in the bag. Then I realized that our hands had remained entwined the whole time, and my heart fluttered.

Two minutes later the butterfly had fully opened its wings and began to open and close them repeatedly, according to Alice that was in order to dry them. I sighed. "Well, welcome to the world, little one," I said to the creature with a smile, "You are beautiful."

Edward squeezed my hand and smiled.

A few minutes later Jasper opened the door and we all had lunch together. I complimented Alice on the house and she promised to show me the rest of it after we finished the meal. Hugo was excited again, he wanted to show me something in his bedroom. He and Edward winked at each other in conspiracy, but neither of them said another word so I was just hoping that Alice and Jasper didn`t let their child keep a deadly snake or something of that sort.

Before Alice got a chance to go upstairs with me, Hugo asked to show me his bedroom first. Alice agreed and said that she would clean up the dishes while Jasper kept an eye on the cocoons, so Hugo could leave his post for a couple of minutes.

Edward came up with us.

"Is it an animal you`ll be showing me, Hugo?" I asked carefully as we climbed the stairs.

"Umm, yes, but it`s not scary, Bella," Hugo answered and I wasn`t sure whether or not I should believe him.

"I will save you from that beast, Bella," Edward`s voice reached me from behind, "don't worry," he chuckled.

I shot him a narrow-eyed `don`t-you-mess-with-me-mister` look.

He looked at me innocently and seconds later Hugo opened the door to his room.

It was a large, very nicely furnished room, perfect for a little boy. I instantly noticed the lack of pink and purple colors in it and had to laugh. Hugo pointed to a cage on top of one of the shelves. I looked into it and saw a small furry animal sitting on his hind legs and eating a piece of fresh carrot.

"Oh my, Hugo, a hamster; he`s cute!" Dear, was I glad it was only a hamster!

"Yep, his name is Chompy. I got him from Uncle Edward for my birthday," the boy said and opened the cage.

Edward flashed me another innocent look and a cheeky smile.

Hugo took the animal out, "Do you want to hold him, Bella?"

"Well, if he`s tame, I would like to, sure."

Hugo placed Chompy in my hand. The little rodent twitched his nose and looked at me with trusting eyes.

"Hugo, he`s lovely!" I said and smiled at the creature in my hand.

Edward held the piece of carrot in front of Chompy and the hamster took a bite.

"You know," I said to both Hugo and Edward, "when Rachel and Sophie get big enough, I would like to get them a hamster or a rabbit, what do you think?"

"Great idea!" they both exclaimed.

"Can you hear how he chomps his food?" Hugo asked me a moment later.

"Yes?"

"That`s why he`s called Chompy," he said.

"It`s a perfect name and he is the cutest little hamster, Hugo."

Hugo beamed.

"So, I see you`ve met our Chopsy Mopsy, Bella?" that was Alice.

"I have indeed," I said with a smile and parted with the soft creature sadly. Hugo took him back and I went on a tour around the house. Edward walked downstairs to talk to Jasper.

You could see the money spent on the house, all was all tasteful, good quality and original. Alice told me stories about how she and Esme hunted for some items for weeks at a time and how proud she and Jasper were when the furnishing was done. I also saw "the special room". It was going to be the new baby`s nursery and Alice had ideas how to paint it and what she would like in it for the youngest addition to the family. She held and patted her small protruding belly all the time when she was talking about the baby. She was so radiant and joyful.

"Rose asked if she could help with the nursery as well," Alice said, "You know, she sells houses and some of them have nurseries, so she has plenty of ideas."

"It`s you sister-in-law, right?"

"Yes, it`s Emmett`s wife, Rosalie," Alice answered.

"And they don`t have any children of their own I understand?" I wanted to clear up.

"So far, no. They would love to and have been trying for the last five years, but with no positive results," Alice finished sadly.

"Oh, Alice, I didn`t mean for it to come out this way," I explained quickly.

"Not at all, don't worry about it. Listen," she said leaning closer to me and checking the door, "we need to meet up on our own one day, without the guys around."

"I agree."

Soon Edward and I said goodbye to the Whitlocks and got into our cars. Edward was going to meet his dad and I headed for the school to pick up the girls.

Later, after I put my children to bed I heard an incoming message signal on my phone. "We have another butterfly! Hugo and Jasper watched it happen when I was taking a bath. By the way, the hand holding with Edward, NICE! You go girl!"

_Oh, Alice._

My thoughts and heart went out to Rosalie and Emmett. I remembered them from "de Ville" as lovely people, educated, smart, with money, looks, deeply in love with each other. They looked like the perfect couple, seemed healthy and happy, moving back closely to their family, getting a new house and opening a new business. On the outside it looked like they had everything going for them. I could only imagine what they must have felt like wanting a child and not being able to have one.

An incoming phone call interrupted my thoughts and I shook my head before picking up the receiver.

"Hallo?"

"Hello there, Bella, it`s Jack here," said a familiar voice.

I smiled broadly to the phone, "Mister John Newton, how are you?!"

"I am very well, thank you, my darling. And please stop calling me John, Isabella," he chuckled devilishly, knowing that I wasn`t keen on being called by my full name.

"OK, OK, I give up!" I laughed, "So what`s new, how is life treating you and everybody else in Phoenix? I miss you all, guys!"

"We miss you too," he laughed, "especially one guy finds it strange here without you…" he added and I knew that he meant himself.

"Thank you, boss!"

"Haha! How are you managing out there in the big world?"

"I think I`ll survive," I said dramatically, again to Jack`s amusement.

"Of course you will and I`m glad you`ve kept your sense of humor."

"If I have a choice between laughing and crying, I prefer laughing," I shared my philosophy.

"Good! So, how are our two little cookies?"

"Cookies are great, you wouldn`t recognize them, Jack. They`re talking non-stop now, they love their Montessori school, they`re riding their tricycles, learning to swim and they`re asking for new books all the time."

"Fantastic! I miss them a lot. It sounds like they love Seattle though."

"They do. You should hear them talk, Jack, they`re hilarious. Sometimes they come out with perfect full sentences and I`m wondering where on Earth did they hear those words and how do they know how to use them, and then a minute later they can`t put three words together that would make sense."

I heard Jack`s laughter, "Oh, now I miss them even more, Bella! It must be such a joy to be around them."

"It is," I said and then I thought for a minute, "Listen, I have some home videos that I`ve made for my parents, I can e-mail them to you if you like?"

"I would love that! Anything to do with our babies, Bella, don`t even ask, just send it to me. I`ll share it all here at the office with the rest of the crowd."

"OK, thank you, Jack."

"No problem. And tell me, how are _you_ doing, are you happy with the move?"

"I`m happy. It was time, you know?"

"Hmm."

"I have a good team in the office and the fact that the boss is the same makes all the difference," I noted and we both laughed, "I`ve made some new friends, I have great neighbors and the girls have a lovely minder looking after them when I`m at work. I couldn`t ask for more, really."

"That sounds brilliant. You know you deserve even more though, Bella?" 

"I hope you`re not asking me about my love life, Jack? My mother`s been digging enough," I joked, but truth be told I really did hope we wasn`t asking me about men.

"No, Bella. You know I only want the best for you, but you get to choose what that best is. I`m sure the right man will come to you at the right time. I am actually calling to share a little bit of news about my personal life… I just thought that, because we have a _connection_," he accentuated the last word, "you should know."

"I`m all ears."

"I met a lady a few weeks ago…"

"How? Where?"

"Remember when I went to see my doctor just before your birthday? I saw a familiar face in the waiting room so I started talking to the man and it turned out that he and I had been in the hospital together at the same time all those years ago. He was going to have lunch with his sister after the appointment and she joined him at the doctor`s first. We chatted and they invited me to eat with them. Normally I wouldn`t go, but Chelsea was just so beautiful and enchanting; I felt like I had no choice, I _had _to go."

"Ow, Jack!"

"I was nervous like a teenager, Bella, but I asked her for her number and she gave it to me! We`ve been seeing each other almost every day. I saw her at lunch today and I already miss her."

"I am delighted, Jack, absolutely delighted! Tell me more about her, please!"

He laughed happily, "She`s a divorcee like me and works in a bank. She enjoys gardening and reading. I met her two adult sons the other day… and I can`t wait to see her again the day after tomorrow. We`re going to the theater."

"You`ve met her kids?!"

"Yes, she has two sons, both in their late twenties. I think they like me…"

"Meeting the children is like meeting the parents, Jack! It usually means that people are serious about each other."

"Um… well, yes…" he admitted sheepishly.

"My dear Jack Newton, are you in love?"

"I think I am, Bella. I never thought I would feel something like that again especially after just a few weeks."

"Jack, it`s wonderful and you deserve it. I wanna meet her!"

"I told her about you and the girls and she would love to meet you, too. And I have another piece of news for you…"

"She`s not pregnant, is she? Mister Newton, you are a devil!" I joked and Jack`s chortle echoed my own.

"No, Miss Swan, the quest to provide the sweet little Cookies with siblings is all yours. But there is a chance that I might at long last be a grandfather again. And _not_ through my daughter this time…"

_Uh oh, that can only mean one thing…_

"You mean Mike?" My eyes were popping out of their sockets.

"Well, not yet, nothing`s happened… as far as I know anyway, but things between Mike and Jessica are picking up again and my son has been talking about the future and passing on the Newton name."

"Wow! I wouldn`t have believed all the news if someone had told me an hour ago! It looks like life is good to the Newton men, huh?"

It was great to hear Jack again. His voice calmed me down. He told me that his doctor was happy with him so I could breathe with ease. And he had a lady now. I could only hope that _that_ was good for his health, too! All the excitement and things… Wouldn`t be exactly fair to expect Jack to be satisfied only by reading and gardening with this woman, right? ; -)

And Mike together with Jessica again…

I lay down in bed early and fell asleep just as Richard Marx`s "Now and forever" was coming to an end on the radio.

"Now and forever… I will be your man…"

_Damn you all!_

**Let me know if you`d like to grow your own butterflies : -)**


	6. Chapter 6

**The original "Twilight" is not mine of course (poor me) however every now and then I allow myself to use an expression or a sentence from Stephenie`s version of the characters` lives. It is only used to bring that original feeling back for a minute, I promise! **

**Chapter 6 BPOV**

**GREEN DAYS AND EMPTY PILLOWS**

It looked like it was one of "those mornings". The weather was miserable and so were my daughters. The moment they opened their eyes it was all tears and gloom. I tried to be as subtle and understanding as much as my own dampening mood allowed me but God, was it hard! Both Sophie and Rachel had woken up at night and now all three of us were fighting tiredness. It was one of those moments when I missed my mom or Phil or just somebody, anybody, around to help me out.

"I have an idea!" I tried to lift up the spirits of my little ones for the last time, "How about we have a colorful day today?"

_Please, please, please, make it work, give me a chance here, please!_

Suddenly, Sophie cocked her head to the side before asking, "What`s a colorful day, Mommy?"

_Yes, I`ve got their attention, I`m a freaking genius._

"A colorful day means that we choose a color and we have to wear clothes that are in that color and eat food that is that color."

"But which color, Mommy?" Rachel asked with a tiniest twinkle in her eye.

_Yes, yes! Thank you!_

"OK, let`s say we are declaring a green day today, how about that?"

"OK!"

_Easy peasy._

We went rummaging through the drawers and wardrobes looking for green clothes. Crankiness was forgotten and spirits were lifted in no time. To my daughters` dismay it turned out that I had no green bottoms so I was allowed to wear grey pants, but I absolutely had to wear a green blouse to complete my look along with green beads and God, I even had green shoes on! On my wrist I had a wooden bracelet, tiny butterflies stretched on a rubber band, normally owned by Sophie. Most of the butterflies were green, of course. For lunch each of us got pieces of chicken along with avocado, cucumber and green peppers. Plus green grapes and pear flavored yoghurt; I was hoping that the greenness of the pots would pass the test even though the contents were white.

"Alrighty, froggies, hop in the car!"

"Gribbit, gribbit, gribbit," I heard in response and at that stage I felt it was going to be a good day. Besides, I was meeting Alice for lunch and knew she would make me feel better like she always did.

…..

"Look at you, you`re growing nicely!" I exclaimed seeing Alice`s bump.

"Very funny!" She smirked at me and hugged me tightly, "How are you?"

"Exhausted! The girls were up last night and we had a grumpy morning, but it`s OK, I`m used to it."

"Tell me about it. I`m tired all the time myself now. I can sleep for ten hours straight and still feel like I`m falling over my own feet. This little one is taking a lot out of me," she patted her tummy, "I thank God that Hugo doesn`t wake up at night anymore."

"My girls are usually very good too, but now it`s the weather on top of everything else I suppose. It`s getting cold and wet and some kids in school have coughs and runny noses. It`s almost like I`m waiting for my ones to pick something up. Listen to us two, rambling about the joys of motherhood, huh?" I laughed.

"Wouldn`t change it for the world though!" she said.

"Nope," I agreed solemnly.

"Rachel and Sophie have a minder, am I right?"

"Yes. Kate is really great and more than capable but I want to be with the children as much as possible."

"Of course."

"You know," I began searching Alice`s eyes, "I couldn`t stop thinking about Rosalie and Emmett the other day…"

"And their baby situation?"

"Uhm. It`s not my business but it just touched me on a human or `motherly` level if you understand what I mean. I`m just very sorry"

"Thank you, Bella. Nothing`s wrong with either of them medically but still, they've been facing disappointment month after month for the last five years."

"Sad," I nodded quietly.

"Some time ago Edward said the word adoption out loud in front of them for the first time. I don`t know what they`re going to do now that the IVF hasn't worked its magic either, but we all believe that it`s nurture rather than nature, so they may be parents one day, even if adopted and not biological."

"They would make fantastic parents."

"I agree," Alice said smiling softly.

"You all seem to be very family oriented."

"You`re right, we are! Edward loves kids, too. It`s actually quite surprising that it`s Emmett who`s married and not Edward. He wasted years with a woman who simply wasn`t for him. Emmett was always the wild one, into parties and girls and fun while Edward was the opposite, he had his head in a book and stuff like that. Not nerdy, but just… I don`t know, quieter and collected. Emmett needed much more stimuli to be entertained than Edward. I always say that Emmett expresses himself more through his body and Edward through his mind."

"That`s a very interesting way of putting it," I nodded at Alice, "So, who`s older?"

"Emmett, he`s thirty six, Edward`s thirty four and I`m the baby at thirty one. My Jasper is the same age as Edward, they went to high school together. And Rose is thirty three."

"And I`m thirty two!"

"Yay!" Alice clapped her hands with a laugh. I was right earlier on, she _did_ cheer me up.

"Tell me more…" 

"About?" she raised her brow.

"You and your family." 

"Edward?" she sang into the air and I blushed at the sound of that man`s name.

"Why not?" I tried to be bold.

"You like him," Alice waved a finger in front of me with a triumphant smile.

"Alice, your brother is intelligent and handsome and thoughtful, what`s not to like?"

"True."

"My own daughters love him and you know how children are, they don't trust just anyone."

"True again. You know, I adore Emmett, he`s my brother and a total sweetheart and I would give him a kidney if he needed it but Edward and I are more alike character wise. When we were young he took care of me. Emmett would jump into the swimming pool without looking behind and Edward would make sure that _I_ was fine in the water. Emmett would run across the street while Edward held my hand. He would share his ice cream with me if I dropped mine and stay with me in a dark room if I was scared."

"I can imagine," I said dreamily, trying to picture a seven-year-old Edward holding his little four-year-old sister`s hand while crossing the street.

"He`s just naturally caring and giving. Did you know that he brings Hugo to either swimming or tennis lessons every week?"

"Does he?"

"Yes! It was his idea and he does all he can to keep it going. With his job it`s tricky to plan anything but if he can`t bring Hugo to tennis on Tuesday, he`ll do everything he can to bring him to the swimming pool on Thursday. They go for hot chocolate and ice cream afterwards or sometimes Edward cooks at home."

"Wow. Some people might think that you had Hugo with Edward and he`s visiting his son," I chuckled.

"Well, you`re not far from the truth. There`s this funny story…"

"Another story? Go on, I love your stories, Alice."

"Honey, we Cullens and Whitlocks are full of stories," she waved her hand in front of her dramatically. "When Hugo asked if he could play tennis and swim I said yes, but because I`m at the boutique at that time it would have to be either Jasper taking him to the lessons or we would organize drop-offs with another child`s parents. It worked for a couple of weeks but then once or twice Jasper couldn't go and Hugo got upset and then one day Edward said that he was free and would bring Hugo to the pool. They had such a great time eating muffins and drinking hot chocolate afterwards that my son decided that Uncle Edward was the coolest and he should always bring him to his lessons. My brother was happy with the idea and it just happened that for about five weeks in a row it was Edward who took Hugo to tennis. Then it was Jasper, then Edward again, then Jasper, then the two of them together. In the end Jasper told me that I absolutely must bring Hugo to tennis, so they know that the child has a mother, because he heard someone saying that Hugo was raised by a gay couple," she laughed and I burst together with her, "They took Jazz and Edward for a couple." 

We were both in stitches. I had to wipe a tear from my eye and Alice was holding her growing belly.

"I wish I could see the look on the guys` faces!"

"They were terrified! I`ve nothing against gay people, but I would if it were my Jasper! Imagine that body to be lost to women!"

I grimaced, "I`d rather not imagine your husband`s body, Alice."

"Oh yeah, right, you just concentrate on my brother`s body and we`ll be happy," she blurted out before realizing what was coming out of her mouth. At the thought of her brother`s body my own produced bright tomato red cheeks on my face and a little leak between my legs.

_Not good._

"Maybe I should get to know Edward first."

"Certainly_._ I just have this… feeling... about you two," she patted my hand.

"Let`s… take it slowly, Alice."

"OK."

Later on I collected my green girls from school and we went shopping. At home Rachel and Sophie, in their usual happy mood once more (_Hallelujah)_ helped me put the groceries away and then we set the paints ready for our project. We got three large boxes which that I wanted to use for recycling materials. The girls wanted to help so I told them that they could decorate the boxes. I pulled my old t-shirts over the children`s clothes and we were ready. Have you ever noticed that no matter how hard two-year-olds try, they always manage to mix all the colors and you end up with `exciting` brown. I tried to sneak some color on top of the brownish blobs on the boxes but each time I was immediately corrected and my red or yellow were covered by, let`s call it `chocolate` color. Then the girls had an idea - stickers!

The container for plastic had little hearts all over it, the one for paper was covered with flower stickers and the one for glass (which only Mommy was allowed to use) was graced with fairies. It took us a full hour to finish the project and by the end of it all three of us were full of giggles and our faces were stretched in pure delight. Luckily the rain had stopped a couple of hours earlier and the sun was shining shyly, so we stuck the boxes outside in the backyard to dry.

When we were clean we all put our Chucks on, took the bread we weren't eating anymore, the girls got on their tricycles and we went to a nearby park.

The ducks and swans in the pond gobbled up the bread in a matter of minutes, the children cycled and I walked behind them for a while and then sat on the bench to watch them go up and down the lane. My phone buzzed. A text from Edward.

`Hi, Edward here. Sorry I haven`t been in touch in the last few days, double shifts and emergencies. How are you doing?`

`Don't worry about it. Today Alice told me about your romance with Jasper. In the park with the girls now. You still at work?`

`Afraid so. Off tomorrow though. Lucky you with the park! Big hello to Rachel and Sophie What romance with Jazz?`

`Hugo`s tennis instructor thought you were together… `

`Oh, that one. Freaky! And Jazz wanted us to pretend we were together, did Al tell you? I told him he`d end up in ER if he went anywhere near my ass!`

`I`m not surprised, you have a great ass.`

_I pressed `send`, oh my God, I pressed `send`, idiot Bella!_

Seconds later I heard the phone again, this time it was ringing. Edward.

_God, help me._

"Hi, Bella," his velvety voice made me feel naked.

"My God, Edward, I`m sorry for the comment. I shouldn't have –"

"So, you`re saying I don't really have a great ass?"

I gasped, "I… I… well, I don't know that, but from what I`ve seen… I mean… I can imagine, no!... I`m… God, I`m sinking here, am I?"

"Yeah, you kind of are… I would love to see you now, Bella, the blush on your face must be endearing," he stated calmly, but I could sense he was testing the waters. I sighed loudly and heard him chuckle.

"I`ve just completely embarrassed myself," I said.

"I like it. Besides, there`s nothing to be embarrassed about, you paid me a compliment and I thank you for it."

"You`re welcome."

"So, what are we going to do about it, Bella?"

_I love when he says my name!_

"About what exactly, Edward?"

"My great ass and your blushing? I mean… right, I`m embarrassing _myself_ now… Would you like to go out with me? It can be lunch or dinner, I don't mind, but just the two of us, with none of my siblings around to tell you more silly stories about me and scare you away?"

I gnawed on my lower lip, "… I would love to, Edward."

"That`s great, I`m… thank you." I heard his sigh. _Relief?_

"Thank you, too."

"Is tomorrow too soon?"

"I have a meeting at lunch, but I`d be available for dinner?"

"Good. I`m taking Hugo swimming, so I`ll drop him home afterwards. I can pick you up at six?"

"Lovely."

"Have you any food dislikes, allergies or a special place you like to go to?"

"No allergies and I don`t really eat red meat often, but that`s all."

"What? No red meat? "He laughed, "So, no big, fat, juicy steak dripping with blood for you, I guess?" 

"Ooh, sounds vampire-ish!" I joined him in the laughter.

"You never know, what if I`m dangerous? I might get my fangs out!"

"I`m not scared of you!"

"Maybe you should be?"

"Are you flirting with me, Edward?"

"Trying my best. How am I doing?"

"I still want to see you tomorrow night so I think it means you`re doing alright."

"Only `alright`? I better work on it then," he laughed again, "Will the girls be OK tomorrow or do you need someone to mind them? I`m sure Alice –"

"Yes, they`ll be OK. Kate took this evening off and she already has plans for the little ones for tomorrow, we`ll be absolutely fine. Thank you for asking."

"No problem. I need to take care of a little girl here. Thank you and I`ll see you tomorrow at six, then?"

"Yes, tomorrow at six. I better grab my two birdies before they fall into the pond with the rest of the ducks and swans."

"Big hugs to them!"

I took the girls to the playground for a while and we met some neighbors, so the kids played together and then we all came back to our street and said goodbye. Rachel looked very tired and not herself.

_Gosh, I have worn the child_ _out._

I gave the children a quick shower this time as we were all hungry. Clean and dry, we sat down to dinner and afterwards we organized our new recycling boxes in the utility room. My very proud daughters scooted upstairs to their bedroom for a story and a goodnight kiss from Mommy.

"Girls, tomorrow night Kate is going to stay with you and put you to bed when Mommy goes out with a friend, alright?"

"Today, Mommy?" 

"No, Sophie, tomorrow. I`ll be home when you come back from school but later you will only eat dinner with Kate and Mommy is going to eat with her friend, OK?" 

"OK," I heard from Sophie and Rachel nodded her head.

"Mommy, what`s your friend`s name?" Rachel asked the very question I was hoping she wouldn't.

"Anna."

"Oh."

They had met Edward only twice so far and I was sure that they would already pretty much run away with him, so I wanted to take things easy.

On the one hand I didn't want them to know that I was going with Edward and on the other I did, because for some daft reason I believed that my daughters would feel calmer knowing that Mommy was safe, just spending time with the man they knew and liked. I believe they sense such things.

While loading the dishwasher, I went through the conversation with Edward for the thousandth time.

_I can`t remember when was the last time someone flirted with me and I flirted back. I was mortified at my verbal spurt, especially the one about Edward`s bottom, but he did the same thing and at least I know that he has been checking me out the same way I was watching him. On my birthday his eyes traveled down my dress numerous times while he licked his lips at the same time. He likes when I blush. What else has he noticed? What else does he like? _

The next day was dragging. I couldn't wait to get out of the office and go home and… see Edward.

Sophie and Rachel showed Kate the new boxes in the utility room and tried to explain to her the whole idea of recycling. It was comical to watch. They have great speech and vocabulary for two-and-a-half-year-olds but sometimes their verbal abilities fail them and they try and try and try, it`s sweet and funny. In the end Kate herself told them what it was all about and they just nodded in agreement, very proud of themselves that their minder had grasped the concept they had attempted to lay out for her.

I arranged with Kate that she would give the girls a bath around six o`clock, so they would be in the tub and not by the door when I opened it to Edward.

First though I went for a long shower myself. It was scary how receptive and excited my body was, almost anxious. I leathered my skin and washed as usually and every time I went near my breasts, my nipples stood out proud and willing. My girly bits wept for attention. How do I explain this to my own body? I`m just going to dinner? On a date? Is this a date? Edward Cullen and I, Bella Swan, are going on a date together? Whoa…

I ignored the tingling between my legs, got dried and went into the bedroom. Right, what do I wear? Oh, God, what do I wear? What do you wear on a date?! _Kate!_

After a short and quiet consultation, Kate went back to Rachel and Sophie and I trudged back to my wardrobe.

_I need new clothes, elegant clothes._

Kate and I have decided that wearing pants on a first date isn't the best idea, so it had to be between a couple of skirts and dresses. I don't know what happened to me, but I looked like a panicking teenager trying on my whole wardrobe and not being able to make up my mind. I had plenty of smart work clothes but I didn't want to feel like I was at a business meeting so I settled for a midnight blue dress and a soft cardigan over it. I even had shoes in the same color as the dress. I looked elegant but relaxed. I put my hair up, make-up on and… I got a text from Edward, `Will be there in fifteen minutes.`

I smiled and looked at the clock. Ten to six. I heard the girls coming up the stairs for a bath. Perfect.

I gave them kisses and hugs, Kate gave me thumbs up and I wanted to give myself a kick in the ass, just to calm down.

My babies were splashing in the bath, blowing foam in their hair when I heard a knock on the door. I threw the last "goodnight, my angles" to my daughters, "thank you" to Kate and grabbed my shoes before walking downstairs. I put my shoes on only when I was safely on the ground floor. Having two kiddies to run after I learned to watch where I was going, but still I was a definition of clumsiness and didn't want to spend my first outing with Edward in the orthopedic unit of his hospital.

I opened the door with my heart up in my throat.

"Hello, Edward."

"Oh my god, hi, Bella. You look… gorgeous," his eyes scanned my body. "Ready to go?"

I nodded, caught my handbag and jacket in case it got chilly later on and we were out the door.

"Thanks, you don`t look bad yourself."

"This blue is beautiful on you."

"You`re very kind."

"Just telling the truth. So, are the girls OK with you going out?" He asked while opening the car door for me.

"They`re fine. I told them I was going to dinner with a friend called Anna," I looked at him as he let out a short chortle.

"Anna," he thought out loud. "I can be Anna," he added taking the driver`s seat.

"I`m sorry. In a group of people it`s fine but tonight we are going out alone and I didn't want to confuse them. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course I don't, Bella. I admire the way you protect them."

"So, where are we going?" I asked excitedly.

"Since you seemed appalled by my bloody diet, I reckoned Italian cuisine would be the most appropriate?"

"Great."

After a short drive he parked the car and opened the door for me. Then he took me by the hand and helped me out. I got out and flattened my dress. He waited and when I was ready, I found his eyes resting on my right hand again. He slipped it into his own and we walked several yards to the restaurant like that, together. I was on fire; scared, worried, happy and proud.

We walked in and were greeted by a young man by the desk.

"Good evening."

"Good evening," Edward responded, still holding my hand in his firmly. "We have a reservation for two for Edward Cullen."

The young man had a quick look in the book in front of him, "Of course, Mr. Cullen, your table awaits."

"Thank you."

We were seated in a quiet place near the corner, not completely secluded but private. It was a Thursday night so the place wasn't as busy as on Fridays I presumed, nevertheless there were conversations going on all around us. A few families and couples were already enjoying their meal.

"Emmett thinks this is the best Italian restaurant around," Edward said when I looked around.

"I`ve never been here before but it looks nice and if your brother says it`s good then I believe him, he knows what he`s saying."

He smiled this gorgeous crooked smile and I reciprocated.

"I agree with him, too," he said.

"So, have they found the right place for the restaurant? And the house?"

"As far as I know they have something in mind for the business and Rose was saying they wanted to sort that out first, before looking for a place to live. They`re prepared to rent an apartment for a while until the restaurant is ready and going. And then there is the baby thing…" he winced a bit, with sadness in his eyes.

"Alice told me about that and I`m sorry. It`s ironic, isn't it? Some people don't want kids and have them in abundance and others can`t no matter what they do," I wondered aloud.

"Hmm." I heard from Edward in response. When I looked at him, he shot me an awkward glance.

"Oh no, my children were very much wanted, Edward. Their father isn't present in their lives but they were loved and expected from the start."

"I have no doubts, Bella," he stated seriously. "So, how have you been?"

"Good. Busy at work. We have a couple of titles coming out before Christmas, but it`s good, it`s what I like."

"Are you going to stay in Seattle for Christmas or go to see your mom?"

"We`re staying here. My mom and Phil might come over, we haven`t decided on that yet. But this is home now, right here."

"You know I used to live in Phoenix, too?"

"No, you never told me!"

"Yeah, it was only for about two years and I came back to Seattle… what… about three and a half years ago already. But it was fun, I liked it there."

"So, your family is native to Seattle then, is it?" 

"Yes. Though Emmett lives in Alaska, Alice spent a few years in England along with Jasper and Hugo, and I was in Arizona. There was a time when we hardly ever saw each other. I know it`s a natural thing to fly the nest but when my grandmother got sick and we all came to Seattle for a few weeks, it felt really good. We were together again, all of us kids and Mom and Dad, you know? I felt tranquil. I knew the people and the surroundings. It was home and I decided to come back for good."

"I bet your parents were happy with your move."

"Sure they were," he smiled warmly. "And then Al and Jazz came back and now Em and Rose are moving to Seattle… Funny, isn`t it? First you can`t wait to get away from your parents and siblings and then when you _can_ be wherever you want, you want to come back home."

"Exactly what I thought!" I laughed.

"And how did you end up in Forks, Phoenix and Seattle? What are the connections?"

"My parents are from Forks. They were born and raised there. Right after high school they got married and I was born barely months later. My mother wanted to get out of the small town, so when I was still a baby she took me away and went to live with her maternal grandparents in Phoenix."

"Oh, I see now. And your dad stayed in Forks?"

"He did. I saw him every summer though. My mom married Phil when I was a teenager. Phil played baseball and moved a lot which wasn`t good as I was in high school. My mom wanted to go with him and stay with me at the same time which obviously wasn`t going to work. She had been alone for fourteen years before she met Phil and I felt guilty that she was torn between him and me. I suggested that I move to Forks and live with Dad for a while. She opposed but I talked to my father and he agreed to take me in, so the decision was made. At first I was going to stay with my dad just until Mom and Phil found a permanent place to live, but I liked it in Forks and wanted to finish high school there. And the funniest thing is, Mom and Phil traveled around the place and where did they end up permanently?"

"Back in Phoenix?"

"Yep," I laughed, "but by that time I was in college. I got a job in Phoenix afterwards and found an apartment. When the girls were born, my mom and Phil convinced me to stay with them to help me out. And now I decided that it was time to move on. You remember the publishing house that I worked for in Phoenix that I told you before?"

"Newton Publishing? You said that it had a couple of branches, yes. So, Seattle is one of them?"

"Yes. The same boss, the same job, just a different office."

A couple of hours flew by as if they were mere minutes. We ate, talked and laughed and it was lovely. I felt so comfortable in Edward`s presence, so natural. That is when I wasn`t thinking about how unbelievable it was that this god was sitting across the table from _me_!

Every now and then I had to remind myself to concentrate on the merit of what Edward was saying instead of how sweetly the skin around his eyes crinkled when he smiled and how badly I wanted to smooth it out with my fingers. The goose bumps threatened to cover my skin every time he looked at me for a split second longer that I could take it without my brain going fuzzy and my body turning into jelly. Lately I had begun to understand what people meant by saying that sometimes their bodies felt like they had their own mind or there was no connection between their bodies and their brains. Edward`s presence was doing something to me and it wasn`t only on a conscious level. Sure, I found him extremely attractive, I knew that, but there was just something else, like I suddenly… needed him…

Alice always cheered me up. She had this energy in her that lifted up my spirit, full stop. But Edward… Edward made me calm and nervous at the same time. I felt like pulling him towards me and pushing him away all the while. It was like I wanted to lose control and keep it. He meant danger and I was losing my strength to fight it.

Just like now. He was playing with my charm bracelet, touching my hand with his fingers, skimming across my sensitive wrist and sending bolts of fire through my whole body in the process. I sighed loudly without realizing it before I caught Edward`s careful eyes. The corners of his lips were turned up ever so slightly. He knew what he was doing to me and he smiled to himself.

"They`re sweet," he said holding one of the two baby shoe charms between his fingers. "I presume they represent Rachel and Sophie?"

"They do," I admitted, "I got them as a gift after the girls were born," I added watching Edward`s face.

"Dad?" He stated rather than asked, looking into my eyes.

"Yes," I nodded simply.

The waiter came over to take away our empty plates and Edward and I pulled our hands apart.

"Edward, thank you for taking me out, it`s been a wonderful evening."

"The pleasure is all mine, Bella. I wanted to do it a long time ago but the hospital`s been crazy."

"I doesn`t matter," I said calmly, "We`re here now."

He smiled, "Do you think we could do it again some time?"

_Oh, good Lord!_

"I`m secretly hoping for that," was all I could whisper.

He crept his hand over to mine again and touched it lightly, "Bella, I don`t wanna sound weird, but…"

"What is it?" I squinted my eyes and looked up from our joined hands on the table.

"I don`t think I can stay… away… from you anymore…"

I gaped at him and blinked my eyes, "Then don't," I sighed quietly.

The waiter was back at our table with the dessert menu. Edward let go of my hand but his eyes never left mine.

Trying to regain some control over my shaking hands I gazed at my bag and then at him, "Do you mind if I check if there are any messages from Kate?"

"Of course not, go ahead," he smiled warmly.

I opened the bag and pressed a button on my phone. No messages, no missed calls, all OK.

"Looks like all is well," I looked up at him and took a sip of wine.

"Good. So tell me, have you heard any more funny stuff from my sister?" He tried to dissolve the awkwardness permeating the air.

"No, but she said you Cullens and Whitlocks had a lot up your sleeves. So, spill," I ordered with a wink, "Oh no, wait, she told me the strawberry story."

"The strawberry story?" He seemed unaware of such a tale.

"It`s THE strawberry story. Maybe you don't know it, because it`s a bit intimate…"

"Stop right there. If it puts Alice and Jasper and sex together then I don't wanna know," he grimaced and looked away like a fussy child. Cute!

"Then I won`t tell you."

"I appreciate it. Tell me something about yourself instead," he looked me deeply in the eyes and I couldn't pull mine away.

"You dazzle me." 

"Excuse me?" his eyes wide.

"You dazzle me. The way you look at people sometimes. You are a dazzler, Edward."

He let out a short laugh, "I don't know about other people, but I`m glad I dazzle _you._"

"And a flirt."

"What can I say, my name is Cullen, we are born with the charm."

"And so humble!" I laughed and he burst out again. The tension was diluting by the minute.

"You have a great sense of humor, Bella."

"So do you."

And so we went on again. I presented him with the whole range of my blushes, from faint pink to crimson and in return he dazzled me and smiled at me crookedly while running his fingers through his messy hair. I so wanted to be that hand…

Edward was driving and I`m not much of a drinker so we thanked for more wine after one glass. I felt nicely unwound and a little devil tapped on my shoulder whispering to me to make the fortress tumble slightly and enjoy the woman in me, spending time with a sinfully handsome man who like he had said himself, liked me.

After dinner I put my hand into Edward`s and we took a lazy stroll near the beach. Edward didn't try to get any closer; he savored the fact that I had broken a few bricks in the walls around me. I didn't know what exactly he was thinking at that moment but I could only suspect that he`d want a whole lot more connection than our hands only. For me though walking with him, laughing and flirting was enough to fly without wings. I have blood in my veins and of course sometimes I wished someone would just screw me senseless. There were days when I wanted nothing more than a man knocking the air out of me with each firm thrust, kissing me and making me his with such abandon that I would be reduced to meowing like a little kitten. But I wanted it to be "Him", a man I would trust and believe and love and adore, and he would feel exactly the same way about me. That last part sounded like a fantasy so I took every second of Edward`s hand connected with mine as a blessing.

Every time I saw a couple walking opposite us and holding hands, for a second I felt a tug on my heart before Edward would squeeze my hand and I would realize that I too, was a part of a couple… Was I, really?

_Are we a couple? `Just friends` don't exactly walk around holding hands, do they? `Just friends` don't flirt and crack jokes about great asses and blushing, do they? A girl who`s `just friends` with a guy doesn't get her claws out whenever another woman pays close attention to the said `friend`, does she? And that same girl doesn't want to be kissed by that `friend`, right? And on the lips, not on the cheek._

We sat on the bench for a while. I wrapped my hands around Edward`s arm and pressed my head against his shoulder. I don't know what came over me but I just wanted to be close to him. He wrapped his hands around mine.

"Tell me," he said, "your favorite life memory of all."

"Hmm… Um… favorite memory of all… Well, my favorite ones have to do with Sophie and Rachel. I know I`m supposed to be a woman now and not a mommy, but my children`s birth is my favorite memory, the most scary and most wonderful one equally."

"That`s lovely. Being a mom is a substantial part of you and your life, Bella. It wouldn't cross my mind to choose one part of you and ignore something so meaningful. To be honest, if I had children, most probably their birth would have been my own favorite memory as well."

"Thank you. But you know, we`re on a date and I`m talking about my kids." 

"So this is a date, Bella?"

I lifted my head and looked at him. Good Lord, his face was about four inches from mine… "I don't know, is it?"

"I thought we were just friends having dinner together," he said studying my face.

"Oh, sorry…"

"Bella, I`m joking!"

"Oh, OK…"

"I`m only joking…"

I lay my head back on his shoulder. "Ask me again, Edward."

"Again? You mean your favorite memory?"

"Yes, please," I said while my eyes followed a happily barking dog running along its owner a few feet away. 

"What is your favorite memory then, Bella, apart from the moments with your children if you want?" 

"_This _is nice," I said quietly, heart in throat, "right now."

I inhaled his fresh scent and his body tensed at my words.

_OK, here we go again, he didn't joke about `just friends` after all._

I thought he said something, but I stood up and shivered. "Brrr, it`s gotten cold." 

"Should we go back?"

"Is it OK with you?" 

"Sure, Bella."

I crossed my arms on my chest and we walked to the car. Edward tucked his hands in the pockets of his pants.

We exchanged a few comments about how great the meal was and how lovely the stars looked up in the clear skies. I sat in the car and fastened my seat belt. After a moment of deafening silence Edward turned on the radio. Immediately, I recognized Alanis Morissette:

"… _You treat me like I`m a princess,_

_I`m not used to liking that_

_You ask how my day was_

_You`ve already won me over in spite of me_

_Don`t be alarmed if I fall head over feet…"_

I deliberately stopped listening to the rest of the words. I knew them well. Edward must have either felt the same or didn't want to make me uneasy, because he switched stations and we listened to some book review instead.

"It`s been a really great night," I said as we pulled into my driveway. He looked at me with a sad smile. I leaned over and pecked him on the cheek for a second longer than I had planned. The faint scent of his aftershave still lingered.

"Good night, Bella. Take care of yourself."

"I will. You, too."

I got out of the car and he watched me take several steps and unlock the door. I turned around and waved at him. The headlights blinked back at me.

_Why did I make that stupid comment about tonight being my favorite memory? I keep fighting with myself, I don`t seem to be able to make up my mind whether I want to remain a single mom and without a man or I would like to try… with Edward. And then, when I decide to give it a go, just for a moment, I say a silly thing and he tenses up and I know that my sprouting hope was stomped on and squashed._

Edward`s point of view

"_This _is nice," she said, "right now."

I thought, my God, does she really mean it? Just sitting on the bench with me, her hands in mine? I didn't expect those words from Bella tonight. She had been so careful, so guarded and I didn't want to scare her. I knew that her confidence was like a soap bubble, one bad move and she`d run. I don't know what her previous guy, presumably the girls` father, did to her. Far and foremost it was beyond me what a stupid fucker would ever leave a girl like Bella, but maybe it was for the best, best for her. She had a chance to be with someone who would see the sinfully attractive woman that she was, intelligent, smart, witty, and fantastic with her kids. She was so accomplished, so strong. On the outside you`d say she wouldn't even spare a second to look at a guy twice. But it was unbelievable how long it took her to let me hold her hand.

At first, in the parking lot it surprised me that she allowed me to take her hand. I guessed she didn't want to cause a scene, she`s too polite. But later on as we walked near the beach she slipped it into mine by herself and something in me swelled with pride. I smiled like a fool at every couple walking past us, I felt like I belonged. I`m thirty four and feel like a seventeen-year-old boy as she brings back the fluttering in the chest and stomach.

I lay in bed and looked at the empty pillow next to mine.

"_This _is nice," she`d said, "right now."

"Recently, Bella, every moment with you has been my favorite," I answered and she stood up from the bench and took her hand away from mine as if she hadn`t heard me at all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 BPOV**

**POPPING CHICKENS?**

We barely slept. Rachel hadn't been herself for the past few days. I already noticed her being tired the day I went out with Edward. Her crankiness increased and I kept an eye on her temperature and made sure she ate and drank and slept enough. It was rubbing off on Sophie as well; my Little Wise Owl became irritable and fussy. Last night we had been up every hour and were now exhausted. I called work in the morning and said that I wouldn't be in before all three of us finally managed to doze off.

It was almost nine o`clock when a text message woke me up. Edward.

`Hi. Feel like lunch today? Alice could join us?`

`I`m sorry Edward but not today. The girls aren't well, I`ll have to bring them to the doctor.`

In a matter of seconds he rang me.

"Bella, what`s going on?" 

"I`m not sure, Edward. Rachel hasn't been her usual self for a few days now and Sophie`s wrecked. Last night we didn't sleep. They managed to doze off now, but as soon as they`re up I`ll have to find a doctor."

"Do you have a family doctor yet?"

I checked Sophie`s forehead. It felt quite warm. "No, so far we didn't need one, I`ll check in the phone book… Edward, they`re both asleep but their foreheads feel very warm."

"It`s natural to feel warmer while asleep. Pull the covers off of them a bit. My father is a family doctor, I can call him right now and he`ll come to you for a home visit in less than an hour."

"Edward, thank you, but I don't want to impose on you or your family –"

"Bella, you have two sick children at home, possibly with fever, there`s no place for your pride here now. Sorry for being patronizing."

"Edward, I think I know what it is," I added looking at small spots on Sophie`s back, "they both have chickenpox."

"Alright, so nothing serious. Stay put, I`m calling my dad now."

He hung up before I could inhale again.

Did he patronize me? He did, didn't he? But I kind of… liked it; his firmness and businesslike, no bullshit attitude was sexy.

We hadn't seen each other since that dinner but texted and called a couple of times. It was all very casual, polite and friendly. The friendliness was freaking me out. _I_ was freaking myself out. At first there was my apparent inability to decide how to proceed and then when I told him on that bench how special he was becoming to me, he froze up and… that was all. My hopes went out the window. I promised myself yet again that I wouldn't allow a man to hurt me because whenever I was in pain, my children could feel it, too. However, I couldn't help but want Edward in my life. I thought I would try and be friends with him. Maybe that was for the best since I was having a hard time figuring out and deciding what I was ready for in my life anyway.

Another ring startled me.

"Hello?"

"Hello, this is Carlisle Cullen. Am I speaking to Miss Bella Swan?" 

"Yes, Doctor Cullen and please, call me Bella."

"OK, Bella. Edward has just called me and told me about your daughters` illness. I will be with you in about half an hour if that suits you? How are the children feeling? Are they still asleep?"

"It suits me perfectly. One of them is stirring, I think they`ll be up soon. They`re just warm and have a couple of spots on their back each."

"That's alright. I`ll see you soon, Bella."

"I appreciate it."

The girls woke up a few minutes later and I gave them a drink. They didn't want to eat. I noticed a few more spots on their tummies and arms and I told them that a doctor was coming to see them. They didn't take that well at first but they calmed down when I explained that it was Edward`s daddy and it wasn't going to hurt.

The doorbell rang mere twenty five minutes later.

"Good morning, Bella," Doctor Cullen smiled a reassuring smile and I instantly felt calmer.

_Is it a doctor thing or a Cullen thing?_

"Hello, Doctor Cullen. Please, come in."

The girls looked apprehensive. Rachel climbed up my into my arms and Sophie hugged my leg. But Carlisle introduced himself to them and reminded them that they had met before in the restaurant on my birthday.

"Are you Edward`s daddy?" Sophie asked in her best business-like voice.

"Yes, I am. Edward is my son. He was a little boy once, but now he`s a grown up man and he is a doctor, too."

"Edward fixtedKate`s tooth," Rachel said and the doctor smiled.

"He _fixed_ Kate`s tooth, did he? And it isn't sore anymore?"

"No," Rachel replied, "She breaked it, but now it`s all OK again."

"Our minder broke her tooth some time ago. We brought her to the dentist and it happened to be Edward," I explained and Doctor Cullen nodded.

"OK. Rachel, Sophie, will you show me your spots, please? I might have something special for you for afterwards."

Well, you don't need to ask two-year-olds twice, right?

"It`s incredible how quickly they pop up," I said, "Last night there was nothing and now I can almost watch these spots appear."

"That's quite normal. Edward said the children haven't been well for a few days?"

"Yes, that`s true," I admitted, somewhat surprised that Edward had given his father a little medical report already. "It`s been about four days. Tiredness, fussiness and last night they refused to eat their favorite dinner. They had no temperature though and I thought it could be a little viral infection."

"The incubation period for chickenpox is around two weeks so they were just brewing. Once the spots appear, we`re halfway through it. Have they been vaccinated against the Varicella virus?"

"Yes, when they were one year old."

"OK. Some people who have been vaccinated still get chickenpox but not as severe. I think that calamine lotion will be enough for Rachel and Sophie. Sophie has a mild fever, cool compresses will help. I only have a little sample of calamine with me. If they get any blisters in their mouths, I`ll get you acetaminophen to relieve pain."

The doctor`s phone rang.

"Yes, son," I heard, "No problem. I `ll let Bella talk to you, OK?"

He turned to me, "Edward would like a word, is that alright?"

I nodded and took the phone. "Edward?" 

"Bella, are you OK? How are the girls?" 

"As I suspected it`s chickenpox. I`ll ask Kate to get some stuff from a drug store. Your dad says it`s not bad. I think they`ll stay at home for the rest of the week." 

"Could I call in later to check on you, would that be OK?"

"Sure, Edward, thank you." 

"Well, then let me bring you some calamine and maybe something for their mouths?" 

"They have no blisters in their mouths at the moment but the spots are popping as we speak, so I don't know what`s going to happen." 

"Don't worry. I`ll come over at half past six, OK? And I`ll bring calamine and acetaminophen, please let me do it for you, Bella."

"Alright, thank you," I smiled and shook my head.

I looked at my daughters proudly receiving the `I was great at the doctor`s` stickers and placing them on their pajamas.

"Thank you so much, Doctor Cullen. Edward says he`ll come over to have a look at them after his shift."

"Great. And Bella, please, call me Carlisle. It has been a pleasure to see you again, girls. If there`s anything, and I mean, _anything_ you`re not sure about, please do not hesitate to call me."

"Thank you, Carlisle. I`m so grateful that I didn't have to drag the children to a doctor`s office."

"I`m glad you let Edward call me. Edward is a surgeon but he`s perfectly capable of recognizing chickenpox as well, so you can trust him when he pops in tonight," he chuckled. 

"That`s good to know," I chuckled back, "Thank you."

So, it looked like we were grounded for a while. Depending on how the girls would feel for the rest of the day and the next one I would let Kate care for them while I`m at work and if not, I would stay at home and do some editing in my living room while Rach and Soph snoozed.

I put the lotion that Carlisle had left us on the children`s spots and we all went for a nap again and woke up past midday. It wasn't so bad. Rachel had a few spots on her tummy, back and arms while Sophie had more on her back but only one on tummy and a couple on both arms. Luckily neither of them seemed to have any blisters on their faces, necks or in mouths.

Edward sent me text messages throughout the day. He told Alice about the girls and she called me as well. Because of her pregnancy she couldn't come to see us and cheer us up but we had a laugh over the phone. Later, Kate popped in and played some games with the children while I buried myself in the kitchen. I baked a carrot cake and got everything ready for the spinach tart I was going to cook for dinner.

I called both my parents and the girls chatted with their grandparents in Forks and Phoenix.

Kate helped me give Rachel and Sophie a cool, soothing bath and we found a couple of more spots on both of them, this time on their legs. The girls had fun putting calamine on their own bodies, its coolness tickled their skin and they giggled adorably. Apart from their decreased appetite and spots on their skin they were in a quite alright form. They were pretty proud of their "chickenpops" as they called it.

At six I plunked the tart into the oven, set the table for four and sat down with Sophie and Rachel to watch some cartoons. Half an hour later I opened the door to a mess of bronze hair, my second favorite set of green eyes and a crooked smile.

"Hi," he said. He looked tired.

"Hi, Edward. Thank you for coming."

"No problem. I wanted to see you anyway. It`s been nearly a week since our dinner," he followed me into the kitchen and put a paper bag from the drug store on the worktop.

"You mean since I went out with Anna?" I joked.

"Exactly that!" He winked at me.

"Thank you, Edward, you really didn't have to do this," I said pointing and looking into the bag.

"I wanted to, Bella." 

"You look exhausted." 

"Long day, that`s all, nothing unusual."

I drew a circle with my finger on his hand resting on the counter. My stomach burned. He was so close again and he looked so tired and vulnerable. I wanted to hug him.

"Dinner will be ready in five minutes. I hope you like spinach?" 

"I do," he said while looking at our connected hands.

"The spinach tart is almost done and we`ll have carrot cake for dessert. Why don't you sit down and relax?" 

"Thank you, Bella. I`ll say hello to the patients."

"Naturally. They must be really under the weather otherwise they would have been all over you already. Can you get them to wash hands before dinner, please?"

"Absolutely."

The girls wanted to show Edward their bedroom so we took him for a quick tour around the house. He thought we had a lovely place, inviting, homely and welcoming.

I decided that it must have been an Edward thing that drew people in. My daughters looked at him like he was Peppa Pig himself or some other of their favorite cartoon characters. They loved holding his hands and sitting on his lap. God, they even touched his hair, something I had never done! And on top of everything, he showed them a real stethoscope! I mean, how am I supposed to compete with that?!

We sat down to dinner and Edward couldn't believe that Sophie and Rachel ate spinach. I told him that the trick was to let them spread some ketchup on the tart but still, he said he hadn`t met a child eating spinach just like that in a long time. I was chuffed to say the least though tonight the tart wasn`t disappearing in my daughters` mouths as quickly as usually. They had "chickenpops", so I understood.

"And you made this from scratch?" He asked taking another bite of the dish.

"Yes, indeed."

"This is yummy, Bella, I love it." 

"Great," I smiled proudly.

"Mommy made carrot cake for after!" Rachel informed Edward.

"I think your mommy is a great cook. I could eat and eat and eat."

"And eat and eat and eat and eat!" Sophie laughed.

"Exactly!" Edward chuckled.

_What a cute trinity they make._

"I`ll give you a piece to bring home. It can be eaten cold, too," I waved at his signs of gentle protest.

An hour later I could see the kids getting drowsy again.

"Now, girls, I think it`s time for bed. Remember, you need to rest a lot if you want to get better."

Edward fidgeted in his chair, "Time for me to go, too." 

"Not at all," I said firmly. "I`ll be back in ten minutes. They have pajamas on, it`s brushing the teeth and a kiss. We read about ten stories earlier and they know there will be no reading tonight."

"OK, if you`re absolutely sure." 

"I am a hundred percent sure. Why don`t you make us some tea while I`m gone? It`s in that drawer," I pointed at the kitchen presses. "Rachel, Sophie, say goodnight to Edward, please."

My two little spotty ducklings ran over to Edward who was about to open the drawer with tea bags and wrapped their arms around his legs.

_Wow, they are so tiny and he`s so tall. _

"Good night! Good night, Edward!" They shouted, one over the other. Edward seemed surprised by this display of affection. He turned around and kneeled down.

"Good night, Rachel. Good night, Sophie. I had a great time with you. Sleep well and get better," he hugged them both. 

"A kiss, a kiss!" Rachel squeaked. She planted an unexpected peck on Edward`s cheek and Sophie followed. I stood by the staircase stunned. By the look of it, Edward was shocked a little, too.

I tucked the children up in beds and came back to the kitchen. Edward was leaning against the counters, reading my newspaper. Seeing him in _my_ kitchen, reading _my_ paper, touching _my_ counter and _my_ teapot made my legs turn into jelly. It was a serious turn on. The guy was simply yummy and my lady parts tingled. Oh, how I would rip those jeans off of him and tug on that crisp white shirt! _God, help me…_

He noticed me in the door and his eyes narrowed for a second. I felt naked. I had thought that we could sit on the couch but something was boiling in my stomach and I put the teapot on the kitchen table instead. Edward placed two cups between us and sat opposite me. _Now, that`s safer._ We commented on the news in the paper and talked about work for a while. For some reason there was this awkwardness and tension between us. He only stayed for about half an hour. I walked him to the door and we both stepped outside. Sudden breeze made me shiver. I wrapped my arms around my chest. He saw it and for a second I thought he was going to touch me but he smiled faintly to himself and took a step back. I looked up.

"Wow, look at those stars? The sky is perfectly clear."

"Mmm, beautiful," he wondered with me. "Unusual for late October in this town."

His eyes met mine. Neither of us said anything for a second… two… three… four… I felt Edward`s look on my lips, on my eyes and my lips again… His jaw tensed and I swallowed… My heartbeat picked up. Edward took a step closer and my eyes leveled with his chest. The top buttons of his shirt were open and I could almost physically feel the heat radiating from his uncovered skin. I felt pulled to him like a magnet. My eyes traveled higher and rested on his lips while he looked down at mine… The distance between us was nothing but two or three inches and our lips moved towards each other and apart like in a dance… As if we both had been waiting for this moment to come for a long time and the anticipation was as important as what was to follow. I worked up the courage and caught Edward`s eyes. They were blazing. I heard him sigh softly and the air from his mouth blew right into mine. My whole being let out a tiny cry of desperation. At last, he pressed his lips to mine ever so gently and pulled back an inch. Silently, we did the dance again; our lips moved forward only to stop millimeters apart and then a full inch away. I could feel the aura around us tensing up. And then he pressed again. My hands fell limply to my sides and Edward slowly ran his fingers up and down my arms. Goosebumps spread all over my body. He sucked delicately on my lower lip while I did the same to his upper one. His breathing against my skin and his soft touches intoxicated me. My heart was getting frantic and my head was dizzy. I wanted more, much more…

I felt Edward`s hand caressing my cheek. Eventually, he pulled away from my lips and kissed my chin. The absence of his touch brought me back to my consciousness. I opened my eyes and heard my own increased breathing in sync with Edward`s. He rubbed my cheek and then slowly slid his thumb along my lips.

"Thank you for inviting me, Bella."

"Thank you for coming."

"Will I see you again?" his eyes searched through mine.

I nodded.

"OK. Good night, then."

"Good night, Edward."

He looked at me again, his eyes lingered on my lips, then reluctantly he turned away and walked to the car.

I watched the silver Volvo disappear from my view.

There was very little I could concentrate on, so pretty soon I was in bed, but the sleep wasn't coming.

_What`s just happened there? I promised myself no more guys, but Edward knew from the beginning that I was a single mother and he still wanted to get to know me. And now the kiss…THE KISS! God, I never knew that such a simple brush could send a person soaring! _

I believed in what Alice told me about her brother, that he was honest, genuine, didn't sleep around and was a keeper. The rest I could see for myself, the man who could have practically any woman in town chose to spend his free time with his family or with me and my children. He was intelligent, sexy, fascinating, caring and tender. Why would he want to get stuck with a single mother of two?

The next day I decided to stay home with my poor sick babies. I was glad that I had an excuse for not leaving the house because my brain would have been of no use at Newton Publishing. All night long I had dreams about Edward kissing me all over again and not quite as innocently as it had happened in reality. I woke up breathing raggedly. My body was sweaty and sensitive. My mind… absent. Like there was nothing in the world except Edward and his lips. All day long the green depths of his eyes, the memory of his scent and sensual touch invaded my scattered mind. I couldn`t focus for more than a few minutes at a time. Only the presence of my children kept me sane.

Edward came to visit again, this time just before the girls went to bed. They were tired and I had been trying to distract them from scratching the spots, but other than that they were recovering well and couldn't wait to go back to school.

"Hi, Bella, how are the patients?" Edward asked as I opened the door to him and the images of our kiss the previous night filled my mind once more. Inside me a fire began to burn.

"Hi. They`re doing fine, Doctor Cullen", I laughed. "Please, come in."

This time my daughters ran over to him straight away, all excited. I found it fascinating how comfortable Sophie and Rachel felt and behaved around him. The three of them just "clicked" together, it almost made me jealous.

"Look, we have pink milk today!" Sophie pointed to her cup.

"Wow, pink milk?", he looked at me and I winked, "That`s very special. You two are lucky cheeky monkeys. I`ve never had pink milk."

"Maybe Mommy could make you some, too!"

"I have some left in the kitchen," I said and motioned Edward to follow me.

"Let me guess, strawberry milk?" he asked when we were alone, smiling my favorite heart stealing smile.

"Actually, wrong guess," I lowered my voice, "It`s regular milk, only with a drop of red food coloring in. The girls usually get it as a treat on Fridays."

"I see."

"You better drink it," I said passing him a glass of pale pink liquid. "It will win you some brownie points," I winked playfully.

"From Rachel and Sophie or from you?" Edward`s eyes pierced me. In a flash his face was two inches from mine and my heart beat furiously.

"Well," my voice came out as nothing more than a whisper, "I meant Sophie and Rachel but come to think of it… it would be from all three of us…" I smiled and looked at his gorgeous lips.

"Mommy! I need to go bathroom!" Edward and I pulled away one second before Rachel`s face appeared in the kitchen.

"Alright, sweetie," I smiled at my daughter and walked from Edward with my heart thumping wildly in my chest.

All four of us sat on the couch reading bedtime stories and sipping pink milk. The kiddies insisted that Edward and I took turns reading and we both obliged. I read a book first and then brought the empty glasses to the kitchen. I came back to the living room a minute later to see my daughters snuggled to either side of Edward, sucking on their thumbs while he read "The littlest owl" to them.

Now, being so at ease in his presence is one thing, but snuggling up to this man while falling asleep… I didn't know whether it should bother me or not. What did it mean? Was he trying to sneak his way into my life through my children? Theoretically it was a possibility but Edward`s behavior seemed much too honest and genuine to be calculated. Plus, he didn't ask the children to sit closely beside him, they made that decision themselves.

Besides, he was the most beautiful man to ever walk the Earth and could have twenty-year-olds lining up to his bedroom at the click of his fingers! The previous night`s kiss was electrifying and the best first kiss ever, but maybe I should go a little slower, for the sake of the children? I knew we were going at a snail speed anyway…

_Wait, what am I talking about here? Am I really thinking that Edward and I could… move this further? And what is ` this` that we have?_

He read the last words of the book and lifted his head to look at me standing in the doorway. In the lights of my living room his bronze hair looked like it had coppery highlights again. My hands were itching to touch it.

"I better go now," he said with a sigh from the plush couch. I nodded sadly.

"No!" Rachel protested, pulling her thumb out of her mouth. Edward smiled at her.

"I`m terribly sorry, Rachel," his green depths met my daughter`s own green pools, "but I`ve had dinner with a friend and now I need to go home to take a shower, change my clothes and go to work."

"Where do you work?" Rachel wanted a reminder.

"I work in a hospital, remember?" It looked like his hand traveled up to move a strand from Rachel`s hair away from her face but he stopped at the last moment. "I`m a doctor and I look after some sick people at nighttime."

"Oh," Rachel let out.

"But it`s bedtime now," Sophie joined the discussion and I could feel my lips pull into a smile again. Both girls were holding onto Edward`s arms, one on each side, their three faces inches from each other.

Edward looked at Sophie, "It is, sweetheart, but when somebody is sick and has to stay in hospital for a few days, then doctors and nurses mind them at night."

"OK," We heard from my Little Wise Owl.

I walked Edward to the door.

"Thank you for stopping by."

"The pleasure is mine, Bella."

"But you`re going to work, Edward and still you chose to come by first…"

"I wanted… I _had_ to," he said, quickly scanning the living room door where we had left the girls and then fixed his eyes on me, "By the way, thank you for the tart. I had it for lunch today."

His mouth parted for a second and I couldn't take it any more. Some naked need overtook me and I grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him closer. Without checking with him I connected my lips with his and automatically a loud gasp escaped my lungs.

As if I were suffocating and he was life giving air.

I forgot about the world. My hands found home in Edward`s hair. It was incredibly soft and silky, just as I had imagined. I felt his arms engulfing me. No man had touched my back for a year and a half but that felt like no one had touched my back at all, ever in my life. Not like Edward.

I felt a lick across my lips. My insides burned. I let him in and tangled my tongue with his. It was wet and warm and tantalizing.

"Mmmm…" Edward`s loud murmur entered my ear and the heat went straight to my lady parts. My panties were damp.

_A nice sturdy wall is two feet behind me. I could have him here. He could have me, right here, right now. _

"Oh, God," I whimpered.

I felt Edward`s hands holding my wrists and his tongue slowing down, "Bella," he whispered through the kiss, his breathing heavy, "The girls…"

_Oh, shoot._

I pulled away and looked at my wrists. I could feel my blood thrumming in my veins under Edward`s hands.

"I`m sorry," My voice was quiet.

_What on Earth possessed me to attack the man like that!? _

"Don`t!" Edward`s voice was firm and louder, although still a whisper, "Don't apologize now, Bella, because this is exactly what I came here for…"

_? This is what he came for? He wanted another kiss? Oh. My. God. If he kisses me like that every time we meet, I`m gonna spend all my money on new underwear, because these panties are ruined._

"You wanted a kiss?" I choked out, not believing what I was hearing.

His nose skimmed my cheek as he whispered, "I needed my fill of you before going to work."

_Oh, dear Lord. Oh, holy…_

All I was capable of was swallowing thickly.

Edward smiled to himself and placed a tender kiss on my forehead, "Good night, my Bella."

He let go of my hands and left.

_Wait, what`s my name again? What day is it? What planet am I on?_

Rachel and Sophie got their goodnight pecks and I went to the kitchen to wash the dishes.

After that, when I was sure the children were asleep, I walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. The woman in the mirror was confused, looking guilty and terrified. Terrified but needy… and lonely beyond belief… So I stood pressing my back against the cool wall and looked at my hands skimming over my alert nipples and down to a very wet place…

Minutes later the whispers of Edward`s name repeatedly escaped my lips, in rhythm to the waves of my pleasure as hot tears of angst fell freely from my eyes.

I set my shower and more tears mixed with cool water.

I had to decide what I wanted to do and stick to it, otherwise I would drive myself crazy. Yes, I was a single mom and my children were my priority but I was also a woman. My emotional and physical satisfaction wouldn`t take away from my children; if anything, it would actually add to their happiness. A happy mommy means happy children, doesn`t it? I knew it all but try it in practice! Your mind battles with your body and emotions and you feel that it would be bad to have both. You`re desperately trying to stick to your choices and then an Edward Cullen appears in your life and turns you into a pile of crazy.

It was still early so I sat down with a book. After reading the same sentence over and over again and still not knowing what I had just read, I was getting frustrated. Edward`s face was invading my mind again. It was a very friendly and anticipated invasion, however losing my own mind like that was not my style and I didn`t know whether to give in or be annoyed with myself. That`s when my phone rang.

_Saved by the bell._

"Hello?"

"Bella? Hi, it`s Angela here," I heard a cheerful voice.

"Angela! You`re kidding me! Hi, how are you?!" I shouted into the receiver with joy! She was exactly, EXACTLY what I needed.

She laughed at my antics, "I`m very well, thank you. I was worried you`d tell me off for not calling for so long but wow, I appreciate the enthusiasm, seriously! Somebody`s happy I see! I was just on Skype with my sister and saw your name on my contact list. Thought I`d give you a call."

"Wait, Skype? Are you still connected?"

"I have the computer on, yes. Do you want to Skype?"

"Please?"

A minute later I was sitting in front of the computer, my webcam on, looking at my best friend from Phoenix with the familiar surroundings of her house behind her.

"Hi there," Angela waved at me with a warm smile.

"Hi. Gosh, I missed you!"

"Me too, sweetie. So tell me, what has you so happy? Or should I say, WHO has you so happy, Bella?" She winked at me.

"Well, I`m just excited to see and talk to my friend. Isn`t that enough to be cheerful?"

"No, not when you blush like this, Bella. I know you too well."

"Well…"

Angela raised her brows, "Well… Oh, there really IS someone, is there? You`ve met a guy!" She gasped.

"Well…"

"Come on, talk to me. I`ll put my nurse face on, no judging, no criticizing, just listening," she offered.

I shook my head and my lower lip disappeared between my teeth. "I met him two months ago…"

"OK," she said quietly, "go on… Don`t worry, Ben is out and the boys are fast asleep, it`s just you and me here."

"Alright," I sighed. "He`s a doctor, a dental surgeon basically, fixes broken jaws and cleft lips…"

"Oh, maxillofacial surgeon…" she said and I nodded.

"Yes. He`s thirty four, so two years older than me. And he`s so, so sweet and gentle and the girls absolutely love him…"

"Aw," Angela made a cute face.

"I know you shouldn`t introduce a new guy to the children until you`re sure that it`s for real, but Edward and I got acquainted as friends. I met his younger sister Alice first. Alice and I hit it off. She has a young son and we took the children to the ZOO together one day. Edward came along, so he was a stranger. I wasn't planning on meeting a guy and keeping him away from my girls. I wasn`t planning on meeting anyone at all!"

"That`s OK, you are allowed male friends, Bella. It`s good for the girls to see that Mommy can be friends with men as well as women and she doesn`t need to be romantically involved with them. I think children are stronger and understand more than we give them credit for."

"Oh, I agree with you completely," I nodded my head.

"Tell me more, then. This man is clearly more than just your friend`s brother… His name is Edward?"

"Yes."

"Quite unusual for a young man, isn`t it? Nice, but unusual."

"I guess it is, but it suits him perfectly, believe me," I added with a shy smile.

"I do believe you! I have no doubts he`s all perfect, Bella," Angela said, "Tell me more…"

"You know, after Martin… I was alone for so long, way too long… I still have trouble believing that someone can tell you that they love you for years and then leave you because they`re just `not sure` that this is what they want."

"I understand that," the woman on the screen looked sad.

"I`m a mother now, Angela. My children are the most important people to me and I`m responsible for keeping them away from pain caused by my poor choices in men."

"You aren`t making poor choices, Bella. One or two losers don't mean that you can`t find a wonderful man. I spent my high school years with a complete ass, thinking I`d be with him forever, you know the story. I learned what I did and didn`t want in a man thanks to him and then met Ben. Enough about me though, I wanna know more about this Edward!"

At the sound of his name my heart fluttered again, "He`s just… amazing, Ang," I whispered as if afraid of saying things out loud and making them more real, "He`s amazing and I`m a mess."

"What do you mean by saying that? That you`re a mess I mean."

"Because I`m a normal, healthy, young woman. I`m pretty well educated, I have a great job, I have two most wonderful daughters, I don`t think I`m the ugliest and most boring person in the world and I like myself. And then one day a man comes in and I start doubting every single little thing about myself."

"That`s normal."

My lungs let out a loud sigh, "When you talk about other people it seems normal and natural, it`s common sense, but when it happens to you… I act like a stupid, pathetic and neurotic loser. I annoy myself, Angela. One step forward, two steps back. It`s like I want to try but I`m scared shitless that it won`t work. And what then? What if I invest too much and then Edward decides he`s not interested anymore or that playing `daddy` to two little girls is too much?"

"That`s also perfectly normal."

"Aargh!" I said to myself and Angela laughed, "The worst thing is I _know_ this is normal and everybody reacts this way when they care… You know, I would love to be invisible, follow Edward and listen to his conversations about me with other people. Or even better, be able to listen to his thoughts… Maybe I would know better what to do and come up with a plan of some sort," I was getting discouraged again.

"Haha, you`re funny," Angela laughed.

"I`m stupid, Ang. Disney princesses have it so much easier, even with their wicked stepmothers," I sulked and then we both burst out with laughter.

"I know," Angela wiped a tear from her cheek, she was laughing so hard, "`and they lived happily ever after`. What a lot of bullshit. Nobody tells you what happened in that castle, day by day, night by night after the fancy nuptials. Anyway, Bella, my love, from what you`re saying I reckon that you`re as smitten as they come."

"I am not," I tried to defend my sanity, with very miserable results however, as Angela looked at me seriously.

"Then why are you telling me all this, huh? What does Edward look like?"

"Six feet tall, slim, nicely muscular, but not beefy, just… right, right for me anyway… He has green eyes and messy bronze, brown hair. A dazzling, panty dropping smile and very warm and soft hands… and… You should see women around him, Ang; they get mesmerized, you can almost see what they`re doing to him in their thoughts!" I was drifting off to a dream…

"May I ask you a personal question, Bella?"

"Fire away."

"Have you two…" she motioned with her hands and her eyes grew bigger.

I blushed furiously, "Slept together? No! I mean, no, we didn`t or… _haven`t_… _yet_… if you like. We kissed last night, for the first time."

Angela`s eyes were huge now, "You kissed for _the first time_?"

"Yes," I said quietly, the memories coming back once more.

_Deep breath, Bella._

"You`ve known each other for two months and you only kissed last night? Bella, have you been seeing each other often?"

"We`ve met a good few times, yeah. Why?"

"I need to hear more but I bet that he genuinely cares, Bella. He must be really interested in you. If he was just attracted to you and wanted to bed you, he wouldn`t have waited this long to kiss you for the first time."

"We kissed again tonight… He came over for a while and said that he needed `his fill of me` before going to work. The girls have chickenpox and he`s been checking on them. His father is a family doctor and Edward called him yesterday morning to come see the children because I didn`t know what it was and didn`t want to drag them to a doctor`s office with possible fever and stuff."

"You said the girls love him…"

"They do. They climb up his lap, laugh with him, joke, they hug and kiss his cheeks before bed. It`s like they have some kind of connection going on there, the three of them. It`s fascinating and almost scary to watch. That`s what I`m worried about as well, Angela. I believe that after this short period of time it would hurt Sophie and Rachel terribly if things went pear-shaped between Edward and I"

Angela smiled, "Bella, look at the facts. This guy isn`t around you just for sex. He`s interested and involved in your family. If you were just any woman and he needed a good old… *cough, cough*… then he`d have had it done already. He would have moved on. This man likes you, very likely he`s smitten with you as you are with him, and probably as scared as you are, too. No matter the age or gender, people get scared of rejection."

"I know," I agreed, "It`s funny you should say that. I talked to Jack not long ago and he told me that he`d met a lady a few weeks ago…"

"Oooh!" Angela exclaimed and winked at me, "What a fox! Good for you, Mr Newton!"

"Yeah! He told me that he was terrified to ask for her number but as it turned out it was for nothing because they`re going out now and things are fantastic. Oh, he also told me that Mike and Jessica are back together again. Apparently Mike has been talking future and babies, so we might have weddings in store…"

It was Angela`s turn to blush, "Well, one for sure, Bella…"

"Pardon?" I asked in confusion.

"This is actually why I called you tonight. Ben proposed for the thousandth time and I said `yes`!"

"You said yes!", _Babies, Mommy`s sorry for shouting, but she`s very excited now_, "Ten years together with Ben and two children later Angela Weber is finally not going to be a Weber anymore! Fuck me, this is awesome!"

Angela laughed at my display, "I`m glad you`re excited! I was going to ask you, would you be my bridesmaid, sweetie? It`s going to be a very small, private affair but I want you by my side."

"Of course, I will! When is the big day?"

"Early April next year, so it`s still a little over five months away…" she hesitated and dished me a devilish smile, "I`m thinking maybe Edward and you will have gone `all the way` by then… otherwise I`m gonna start suspecting that something is wrong with either of you, you know that maybe he can`t…"

"Angela Weber, what`s got into you?! I can reassure you, he can!"

"How do you know, missy; you`ve only _kissed_ him twice and I presume it was on the lips, right?" She pretended to be shocked.

"Oh God, help me," my face reddened and I covered my eyes for a moment, much to my friend`s amusement. "We kissed on the lips but I felt something else pressing against my stomach and it wasn't a buckle on his pants, if you must know."

"Oh Em Gee!" Angela clapped her hands. _She actually clapped her hands_!, That`s what I`m talking about, girl! I`m glad he`s not some cold blooded living dead! So, Mister Edward has a working Little Eddie… hmm," she licked her lips and smiled to herself.

"Angela, stop that! Stop!" My hands flew up to cover my face again while Angela laughed wickedly. "You are supposed to be this good little daughter of a pastor."

"Bella, my sweetie, my being here wasn`t exactly an immaculate conception, was it? I may be a pastor`s daughter but I`m not little anymore and neither are you. You are a gorgeous, sexy woman, sensual as hell and you`ve met a man who seems right, more than right. You know you can`t wait for anybody to profess their undying love and devotion to you before you decide whether you want to push it any further. Nobody will ever give you that guarantee. Look at my parents, they`ve been married for thirty seven years and what`s more, they married barely three months after they`d met. Everybody thought they were crazy. After all these years they`re still blissfully happy. On the other hand, my Ben`s parents knew each other since childhood, they made sandcastles together when they were five. Their families and friends gushed about this fairytale couple. And what? They got married, had kids and divorced twenty four years later! Twenty four years, Bella! Sometimes it just doesn`t work but we only have a chance to win the game if we play it. There`s no other way. I know you know it all because it`s usually you who life coaches me, but it`s good to hear it over again when you find yourself on the other side of the situation."

"Thank you, Angela. You truly are an angel, they named you perfectly."

She smiled, "I`m not saying hop into his bed right now, but maybe crumble the walls a bit, huh? Edward obviously likes you. You`re saying that you`re confused, like you can`t make up your mind and you`re annoying yourself. But see, he`s still there. Edward still wants to be near you and he`s getting continuously nearer, kissing you and warming you up. My bet is he senses your anxieties and wants to take things slowly so you can feel safe with him. He understands that not only do you have your own heart to protect but also those of your children`s. That speaks volumes, Bella. I like him already. And more than anything, he makes you happy and anyone who makes you happy, I like. Give him a try. Give yourself a chance, darling."

I stared at my friend`s face. She was right, spot on, as usual. "I`ll try."

"Do what feels best. But tell me now, our baby girls have chickenpox?"

"Oh, yeah. Well, to be exact, it`s not chickenpox, it`s `_chickenpops_` according to them. It isn`t that serious and they already want to go back to school but I`m planning on keeping them at home till Monday."

"Oh, poor little sweeties. They must have grown so much! I`m at home with my boys, too. They both caught some viral infection and I`m off work for the rest of the week."

We continued our regular `mommy chat` for a while longer before we said goodnight and promised that we would call again next week.

I tossed and turned in bed with my mind racing. Edward… his smiles, his kisses, his warm and kind presence, his interest in my life, his lovely manner with Rachel and Sophie. God, I`ve always dreamed they could have a daddy like him. And me? He was waking me up from a long and deep sleep. I`m still groggy and baffled and puzzled but maybe he could be my way back home?

**Poor `chickenpoppers` : -( I`m really curious what you all think about the developments here. Is this the direction you thought the story was going? **

**By the way, I wonder if anyone knows where the idea of pink milk might have come from…**


	8. Chapter 8

**The original TWILIGHT isn`t mine, of course, but every now and then you will find some Easter eggs tucked in, familiar little lines from Stephenie`s and not my own, imagination.**

**Over to Edward now : -)**

**Chapter 8 EPOV**

**EDWARD HAD A LITTLE LAMB**

"Oh, flip it," Bella said under her breath as she put down the phone.

"What happened?"

"Kate`s not well and she won`t be able to join us in the swimming pool."

"I don`t understand…" I frowned, thinking.

"I promised the girls that we would go swimming but I can`t bring them both on my own and Kate can`t come with us. We`ll have to postpone which is a bummer; the kids were so looking forward to it," she winced, but brightened up quickly, bouncing almost like my sister. "Oh well, not to worry. The important thing is for Kate to get better, the swimming pool isn`t going anywhere, right?" She smiled.

_Wow, what a woman, so selfless…_

"I`ll go with you," I heard myself saying.

"Oh, no Edward, you don`t have to…" she started, but I wouldn`t let her finish.

"I will, Bella. It`s not a problem at all. I`ve taken Hugo for a swim many times, I`m used to children in the pool. We`ll have fun, seriously!" I was hoping she would see me as trustworthy enough to look after her children in the water.

"Well, yes, I know. But Edward, Sophie and Rachel get very excited and they will need attention all the time. Besides, I don`t want you to have to change your plans for the day. You wanted to rest, remember?"

"My silly, beautiful, oversensitive girl," I said to her as our faces almost touched and I traced her cheek with my finger, "I said I would stay at home because I knew _you_ had plans but now that I could be a part of them, I couldn`t be happier. I want to come to the pool with you and the girls, honey. Unless of course it`s only for mommies and babies?"

She smiled sweetly and covered my finger on her face with her hand, "No, it isn`t. My dad went with us once and it was lovely." She searched my eyes. "It would be wonderful if you came with us, the girls would be ecstatic."

I kissed the tip of her nose.

…..

On Saturday morning I hopped into the car and flew through town. The air was fresh and crispy, the sun was shining and I felt happy and alive. I parked beside Bella`s car.She opened the door with a shy smile though I couldn`t guess the reason behind the blush covering her cheeks. Rachel and Sophie showed up at the door behind their Mommy a minute later and I could feel my face stretching in a massive smile. There is something about those girls. They are incredibly cute but also we just click on a basic human level, our energies compliment each other. I got invited into the dining room for a cup of coffee and muffins. I showed them the fresh croissants that I bought in the bakery on the way over and the girls squeaked; they loved croissants and I won more brownie points, yes!

Sometime later I was looking for my car keys in the hallway when Bella walked by and caught me off guard, kissing me on the cheek. Automatically I turned towards her and my lips `fell` on hers. My insides did a flip and burned. I could swear she was made for me.

"Mmmm. That`s sweet, Bella."

"I needed a fill of you as well," she whispered with her eyes closed.

Reluctantly, we disconnected and went back to reality.

While she cleaned up the cups and plates, I moved the girls` car seats from the Mercedes into the Volvo and strapped the children in. Minutes later we were on our way. Bella and I chatted about all the insignificant things that people chat about in the car on a sunny Saturday morning. Sophie and Rachel looked happily out the window and I smiled whenever I caught a glimpse of their little faces in the rear view mirror. I felt strangely in control. I felt stronger, better, somehow more… natural if that`s the right word to describe it. Yes, it felt natural and good to have those three girls close with me.

We separated for a while to get changed. I was ready first and waited in the pool. There were a couple of people there with young children. It seemed to be a time for families in the pool and I made a mental note of that. I was talking to one of the dads who was there with his young boy when I saw two beautiful little girls in Disney swimsuits and armbands on, held by the hands by… _oh sweet baby Jesus, have mercy on me…_Bella. In all the excitement of making Rachel and Sophie happy and taking them to the pool I forgot that their mother would be there too, obviously, wearing a swimsuit!

_Holy shit! Shit, shit, shit! Please, don`t let me have a heart attack here!_

Even in a very simple one piece swimsuit Bella looked sensational. The dark blue was gorgeous against her pale skin. For the first time I could see her perfect curves hidden behind only a thin layer of fabric. Her long neck looked even longer now as it led to the most beautiful chest God has ever created. I couldn`t see them clearly of course but I could feel that behind the material were two full, soft, kissable, made for me breasts. The strong long arms with just the right amount of tone… I`m sure I licked my lips at that stage, I was completely mesmerized. Bella`s waist and the soft roundness of her hips did something to my brain. How I wanted that roundness! To wrap my arms around that waist, ugh! Or sneak my fingers under the fabric and feel those hips bucking up for me. _Fuck. _ And those legs… My God, those legs, they went on forever! They could go round my waist and stay there night after night after night, I`d have no problem with that!

_OK, there are kids here! Mind the kids, Cullen! _

I took a deep breath just as Bella came to a stop at the edge of the pool. She caught my eyes and dark pink covered her cheeks. I thought it was adorable but I finally copped onto why she was had blushed earlier on. She felt uneasy about my seeing her in a swimsuit! _Sweet, silly girl! _She was a vision and I could only hope that certain parts of my body also knew that there were minors around and I wouldn`t have to hide a "problem". I secretly cursed though that I didn`t have a hidden camera so I could take a snapshot of Bella and stare at it later at home till I couldn`t hold my eyes open anymore and die of pure ecstasy.

Bella placed the children`s safety rings, still flattened, on the side.

"Hi, beautiful girls," I concentrated on the small princesses who seemed less self conscious than their poor stunning mommy, "Are you ready for a splash?" I stretched my arms and Sophie stretched out hers. I looked into her excited eyes and it dawned on me that she trusted me, this little person trusted me completely.

"Yay, splishy splashy!" The girls both squeaked and I dipped Sophie`s toes in the water. She squirmed in my arms and giggled. It freaking melted me. Bella was in the water right beside me and Rachel sat on the edge of the pool waiting for Mommy to take her in. Bella held her daughter`s hands and Rachel kicked the water with her feet, sprinkling our faces. We laughed. I winked at Bella and then on three, we both lowered the children into the water.

You know what they say - sometimes you would gladly give away full years of your life if you could keep a few special moments. It was one of those moments for me, right there, in the pool, when Bella and I held a child each and slowly dipped them in the warm water watching pure joy on their faces. My own heart filled with nothing else at that second. For a moment in time I felt like we belonged together, the four of us.

Sophie and Rachel turned out to be quite good little swimmers, I was surprised and proud watching them kick their legs in the water. They only needed a little assistance and I was sure they`d swim on their own pretty soon. We found a few toys floating around and played a game of catching them. A lot of happy noises echoed around us! Bella`s face relaxed visibly and she enjoyed herself too. I was glad. She must have felt safe and I wanted nothing less. We moved in the water closely to each other and brushed against one another regularly. Bella never flinched or looked away anymore. She was in her "mommy" mode, it was understood, but we had to communicate with each other when playing games and I was happy to notice that she looked me right in the eyes, confident and calm. Most of that communication happened through our eyes and smiles anyway and we barely needed any words to know what the other one meant.

After some time we got out of the pool and Bella and I blew up the safety rings for the children. They had little seats in them so the kids could sit in and float freely on the water surface. We put the girls in and the two of us took turns swimming the whole length of the pool and back while the other stayed in the shallow end with Rachel and Sophie. My God, was Bella fit! I felt like I should shape up if I wanted to keep up with her! She said that when I emerged from the water against the sunrays streaming through the windows, my wet skin sparkled and she called me Mr. Sparkle. My self-esteem boosted at the thought that she`d been observing me and must have liked what she saw. We played catch with a beach ball with each other as the girls looked on inches away from us. Bella got so into the game at one point that she decided to catch the ball when it was already practically in my hands, ending up throwing herself at me instead. I caught her and expected her to get away but before she wriggled out of my embrace she laughed and threw her arms around me as if she`d forgotten where she was and with whom. Her beautiful wet face was mere centimeters from mine and I felt a rush of emotion. I wanted to crush her to me and kiss her senseless and maybe open my eyes only to make sure that the children were OK. I didn`t want her to feel uncomfortable though so as she started wriggling out I called out to Rachel and Sophie, "Girls, who wants to splash Mommy?" I released Bella and she looked sheepishly at her daughters who had mischievous smiles plastered on their perfect faces. They began kicking the water with their feet while still sitting in the rings and I splashed with my hands. Bella squeaked and laughed and waved her arms and I thought that was better than any sex I`d ever had. This was simple and joyous. It was sweet and innocent and fulfilling. I wanted more.

As I waited for the girls outside their changing room, a young woman came up to me.

"Excuse me, sir," she said, "I just feel I must tell you something. I watched you in the pool with your wife and children. You are such a beautiful family and you looked so happy together. I wish you all the best."

I looked at her stunned and only managed to mutter a shocked `thank you` before she turned around and walked away.

_So, we look like a family, huh?_ I thought to myself as my girls joined me again.

…..

We went for lunch, crepes with spinach, ham and cheese. Just after eating Rachel climbed up on my lap, settled in my arms and her head dropped against my chest. She and Sophie were tired, no wonder.

"You look so sweet together," I heard from Bella.

She finished her cup of tea and picked up Sophie who yawned and rubbed her eyes. We carried the children to the car and settled them in their seats. By the time I started the engine, Sophie had joined her sister in Sleepland.

"I`ve had such a great time, Edward. Thank you for doing this," Bella said dreamily.

"Are you joking? I thank _you _for inviting _me_, Bella. This is what all Saturday mornings should be like."

"You mean taking children to the swimming pool?"

"Yeah, that or going to the park on bikes. Or for a lazy walk on the beach. They would have a great time there."

"Wow," Bella sighed, "Do you think you would like a family of your own? A wife and children? Or not necessarily a wife but a partner and a little boy or a girl?"

"Uhm, yes, I would like that. A wife and a bunch of little people… Yeah, definitely."

"You would be wonderful at it."

"Two little girls would be fantastic… and a yummy mommy…" I winked at her. She smiled shyly and looked away.

We decided ad hoc, why not, let`s drive to the beach. It would take some time and Bella snuggled into her seat and closed her eyes. A few minutes later I was sure she was asleep.

_A family of my own… A beautiful wife with dark brown hair and sparkly eyes… A wife whose soft hands would rub my arm in the morning and her whisper tickle my ear, "Sweetheart, it`s time to wake up…" _

_I would race home to her after work, to her, to them… two little princesses trying on their mommy`s clothes and make up and having me turn into a pile of goo. Yes, Bella, I would love my own family._

I looked at the three beautiful sleeping faces and smiled to myself.I could drive like that forever.

Bella woke up just as I was pulling over by the beach.

"I can`t believe I fell asleep, I`m sorry, Edward. I`m very poor company," she apologized, unaware that I had just experienced some amazing moments having her and her children all resting in my car, trusting me wherever I would bring them.

"Bella, you are great company. No need to apologize for being tired and falling asleep. You looked very peaceful," I said with my eyes focused on the road.

"Oh, you`re too good, thank you. They were both up at night and ended up in my bed at three in the morning. The swimming just wore us out," she rubbed one eye with the palm of her hand and yawned.

_So sweet and vulnerable…_

"Oh, I`m sorry, Bella. Do they wake up at night regularly?"

"No, they`re usually pretty good. I guess they were very excited about today. And you know, it`s enough having one little child messing with your sleep, but I have two!" She laughed while waving away another yawn. "But we`ve had a really incredibly good time, Edward, I wouldn`t have been able to do it on my own. That`s one of a very few minuses of bringing two babies alone. I promise, there are a lot more pluses though and I wouldn`t change a thing!" Her voice sounded very determined and convincing.

"I believe you."

Bella opened her belt, turned around and squeezed herself in between the front seats to reach the passenger ones. She leaned over her daughters and whispered to them very softly while unbuckling them from their seats. Her bottom was positioned at my face level, just a few inches from me. The fabric of her jeans stretched on her round bum and as she pulled her arms forward, her top rose up and a sliver of skin on her side and back teased me again. It looked so soft and smooth and I swear I could feel it was weeping for my touch. To ensure that I could resist throwing my sorry horny piece of ass at her in front of her children I needed to change focus. So I too turned around in my seat and watched what was happening in the back. Bella drew circles on Sophie and Rachel`s hands and gently ruffled their hair. I watched entranced as the children began stirring and slowly opened their eyes. Their little fingers did some involuntary opening and closing and I couldn`t stop smiling. They each received a gentle kiss on the hand and forehead from their Mommy. It was as if Bella was performing some ritual. Her hair was now completely dry after swimming and she tucked her long waves behind her ears while speaking to the children. The scent of strawberries permeated the air. A stray strand of Bella`s hair got tangled in Rachel`s small plump hand as her Mommy was tending to her sister. It was another melting moment for me. They were all so beautifully connected. In my mind I was reaching to touch one of them and being included in this magical circle. Something was happening to my heart, too, it was longing for this simple bond. It was almost envious of Bella, Rachel and Sophie being so at ease with one another, belonging to each other.

Rachel noticed me and looked a bit disoriented.

"Hi, baby girl," I smiled and whispered as softly as I could, trying to match Bella`s tone of voice and the general atmosphere of their bubble.

A friendly but brief glance was all I got for now. Rachel turned in her seat to look for her mother`s face.

"Fifi?" She asked sleepily.

"Yes, sweetie. Fifi`s here, don`t worry," Bella answered and Rachel, happy with that, sat straight in her seat and faced me once more.

"Did you have a nice sleep?" I looked into her twinkling eyes.

"Yep," I heard in reply.

"Mommy, where`s Mooky?" Another question was directed at Bella.

Bella looked around, "Mooky? You had Mooky in your hands earlier on, baby… Oh, there he is, on the floor. He must have slipped out." And with these she dove down to retrieve said "mooky" from under the driver`s seat, effectively presenting me with more of her gorgeous flesh.

_How can a woman look so amazingly innocent and so hot at the same time?_

"Mooky" turned out to be Rachel`s stuffed monkey. Sophie was clutching her own fluffy friend, a penguin called "Iggy", closely to her chest.

After Sophie enquired about "Chichi" I decided I really needed to be let in some of these girls` secrets.

We scrambled out of the car, Bella pulled her hair into a pony tail and we walked on the sand, holding hands. Soon the girls perked up and they ran in front of us.

"Bella, I need to ask you a few questions…" I started and saw her forehead crease.

"What is it, Edward?"

"What or who are Fifi and Chichi? It seems like they`re the girls` pet names for each other, but I`m not sure?"

Bella laughed, "Good guess! When they were younger Rachel called Sophie `Fifi` and in turn Sophie could only pronounce `Chichi` for `Rachel`. Sometimes they still use them. I love how they both always make sure that the other is around; like in the car, they couldn`t wiggle too much in the seats and couldn`t see each other through the layers of clothes."

"That`s why they asked you?"

"Yes."

"OK. Next question, Iggy and Mooky. Are they the toys` names?"

"Right again," Bella said looking in front of her and smiling again. "Sophie got the penguin and Rachel got the monkey on their first birthday from my mom and her husband. They were only uttering funny silly sounds at that stage but Sophie managed to say `iggy` when the penguin was in sight. At first we didn`t know what she meant but later we understood that she meant the toy. We all called the penguin Iggy. Then she called him `piggy` and my mom and I had a laugh and tried to explain to her that it was a penguin and not a pig because when she saw a picture of a pig, it also was a `piggy` in her language. And then one day Phil heard her say `piggu` and told us that he thought Sophie was actually trying to say `penguin` this whole time, it just came out as `piggy`. She was soon able to say `penguin` but to this day he`s called Iggy. The same with the monkey, Rachel couldn`t pronounce the word and it came out as `mooky` so even after she learned to say the word correctly, the monkey remained Mooky to us."

"Wow, I love these little stories, Bella."

…..

When it was time, I drove the ladies back home and headed for my own place. I turned halfway though and decided to go see the Whitlock gang. I didn`t wanna be alone for some reason. Too much had happened in the morning and knowing my over-analytic nature, I`d drive myself crazy if I didn`t make any other memories that day.

Alice opened the door to me with a few framed photos under her arm.

"Hi, Edward, how are you? How was swimming?" She didn`t waste time.

"Good, thank you."

"Could you elaborate, please?" She motioned with her hand.

"I will elaborate if you tell me what you`re up to."

"The boys are out, taking advantage of the good weather. They`re doing some secret father-son stuff and I`m designing the nursery."

"Oh, right." I understood the piles of photos, fabrics and Alice`s drawings.

"I`m looking at Hugo`s pictures when he was a baby. Remember this one?" She handed me a photograph of her half-year-old son looking at soap bubbles that Jasper was blowing behind Alice, who was taking pictures at the same time.

"Bella has a picture on the wall that looks just like it. It`s black and white. Both girls are trying to catch the bubbles. It`s pretty cute."

"I think everybody has one of their child catching bubbles, there`s something magical about soap bubbles, don`t you think? Does Bella have a lot of photos on display, Edward?"

"She has a good few I guess," I said remembering the collection that Bella had hung around her house.

"OK," Alice stated lightly, but I sensed she was digging for something else.

"Why are you asking, Alice?" I squinted my eyes.

My sister looked at me sheepishly and hesitated for a moment, "Well…"

"Well?"

"Is there a daddy on any of those pictures?" She asked quietly, like she was afraid that someone might be eavesdropping.

"You mean the girls` father?"

"Aha."

"Not that I noticed. Why are you so curious?"

"Female curiosity aside, I`m worried that one day this guy will come to see his children or take them away on a vacation…" She sighed heavily and looked up at me. "I think you have the right to know what you can expect, that`s all."

"Al, Bella told me that he isn`t present in their lives. That`s what I know and that suffices for now. I don't think I have the right to ask private questions like that, we`re not that far yet. Of course I have thought about it, but Alice, what if Bella is a widow? You said it yourself before, remember? What if she lost the love of her life while she was expecting their babies? Or what if that man… I don`t know, what if he`s on a military mission and she`s just hoping for his safe return? She seems very guarded, very careful."

"Edward, she`s a single mother, of course she`s careful. Once a woman has a baby, nothing is more important than the child`s safety and security. It`s a huge responsibility and she would be ready to give up her own chance of happiness if it posed any danger of instability to her children."

"I guess you`re right."

"I _am_ right, "Alice smiled rubbing her pregnant stomach. I smiled back. "I`m thinking though, if her man was on a mission, which is not a laughing matter, it is theoretically possible, wouldn`t photos of him be hung everywhere in the house and the children be talking about their hero daddy all the time?"

"All the pictures in their house show Bella and the girls, or Bella`s parents. Remember, we met them in the restaurant on her birthday? But Alice, she and I are kind of getting closer. We`ve kissed a few times and I know that she likes me. I don`t see her as a woman who would do that while waiting for someone else to return home."

"Uhm."

"I saw only one picture of a guy there…" I tried to retrieve the face from my memory.

"OK?"

"It`s on the mantelpiece. It`s just Bella and him and it looks like it was taken a couple of years back. Blond hair, I think blue eyes, he`s about our age…"

"And there are no pictures of other men around there?"

"Nope."

"Could it be him then? The father?"

"It`s not impossible, that`s all I can say."

Alice thought hard and tapped her foot, "You know, you might be on to something. If the photo was taken a few years ago, it`s possible that this is the girls` father. Imagine, Bella falls pregnant and he leaves her or maybe they split and then she finds out that she`s expecting… Or he dies… One way or the other, that photo could be the only thing she has left of him. And that`s why Sophie and Rachel bear Bella`s last name and not his."

"It would make sense. It would also make her careful around men."

"It makes me wonder though, if he had passed away, she would have mentioned him, or the children would at least once, right? You know, that Daddy is in Heaven or something like that."

I had to agree with Alice, it made sense, "Uhm."

"I think the most probable scenario is that he had left her before their daughters were born."

"I don`t know, Alice and I really couldn`t care less to be honest. I have my baggage, she has hers and for the time being it`s none of my business. She`s not talking about it and I believe it`s either too painful or genuinely insignificant."

I waited for Jasper and Hugo, we had a bite to eat together and I came back to my place.

…..

That guy`s genes in the two little girls who already had me wrapped around their pinkies, his traits in them, his blood in them - none of it mattered. And what he`d had with Bella, why she was alone; if it didn`t matter to her then it didn`t to me either. All I could think about was Bella and what _we_ had, the two of us, if what we had was _something_, that is. Memories of the day danced in my head as I lay down on the couch. I let my mind drift back to the moment when I saw her in the morning, her eyes bright, looking into mine, her hands eager in my hair and her lips needy against mine when the girls weren`t watching. This time she told me, it was _she _who needed a fill of _me_ before facing the rest of the day. My ego was expanding at an alarming rate! And something would expand to a very painful point in my pants if she kept it up, so we finished the croissants and hit the road. Then was the swimming pool and Bella`s roundness playing mischievous tricks on my mind and body again. The animal in me wanted to pin her to the side of the pool and pound into her like there was no tomorrow. The droplets flowing freely down her body in the pool, how I envied them! I could watch forever as some of them followed a steady trail on Bella`s arms and others started on her chin, enjoyed a slow and sensual journey down her neck and eventually raced right down and disappeared between Bella`s breasts. What a way to go, even drops of water couldn`t help themselves!

I knew what I would have done. I would have licked every single one of them off that delicious woman`s body, taking my sweet time and struggling not to combust spontaneously on the spot. I would have hooked my teeth round the straps of that swimsuit and dragged them down till they slipped off Bella`s smooth shoulders and lower, revealing to me two most gorgeous soft mounds with hard pink peaks on top of them, calling to me to kiss and suck and graze them… I would have done all they would ask for, all the while feeling Bella squirming under me and watching me as I pleased her. God, the heat radiating from her! And the sounds coming out of her sweet mouth… loud sounds… very loud… annoying, interrupting, irritating sounds… shit, phone call. I`d fallen asleep and now my phone was ringing, damn!

_Bella, my goddess, I will see you in my dreams again tonight I`m sure, and we will continue…_

"Em?" I asked groggily, trying to wipe the rest of my fantasy away from my face. My brother is the last person who should know about the sensitive subject of how things are progressing between Bella and I.

"Hey, would you climb off that girl already! Give poor Bella a break!" His laugh bellowed in the receiver.

_OK, I`m gonna have to think of the right torturing device for Emmett. I`ll do it right after finishing my dream about Bella and our sweet sexing…_

"Emmett, what are you talking about? And leave Bella alone, I`m warning you!"

"Ooh, my lovely brooding brother, good to know you`re alright," I think it was supposed to be a joke. Didn`t work.

"How is it going?" I stood up and walked into the kitchen.

"It`s going great, thanks, Eddie! I think we`ve found a place for the restaurant!"

"No way, brilliant!" I got excited as I pressed a capsule into the Nespresso machine, "The place you showed me? The owner changed his mind about the sale?"

"No, not that one, but this new one is actually even better. Remember the French patisserie just about twenty minutes walk from Alice`s boutique, it`s called `Le Baratin`?"

"The one with toffi crepes?" I started, but Emmett suddenly remembered and cut me off.

"Yeah, the toffi crepes, that very one! The owners are moving to Washington. They have a place there but need to extend it and redo some stuff. Anyway, it`s gonna cost them more than anticipated and to be ready for the opening they need money asap so they`re selling `Le Baratin` soon. They sounded pretty anxious and desperate to sell when I talked to them on the phone. I`m coming to Seattle next week to meet with them. If we agree on the price fast, we`ll be sorted, Edward. I`m scared shitless now because this is a really good place, a fantastic location, much better than we were hoping for."

"Wow! Em, that sounds good!"

"I know. We`ve been talking about extending the other place, transferring the two rooms in the back into one large kitchen, then the storage room… I mean, you know, it was gonna take time and money but we were ready to do it. This one, Edward, if this goes well, Rose and I will be moving much sooner but I`ll be also opening and running business within a couple of months! I`m jumping up and down like a kid here, man! So excited!"

I had to laugh at my big bear of a brother and his child like demeanour. He`s a sincere, honest guy and he and Rose deserved at least this business thing to go well. Maybe if they sorted out the restaurant and found a house, a child would follow?

"I`m excited for you, bro. Keep the spirits up! Let me know when you`re here. Are you coming alone?"

"Yeah, this time it`s only me and just for a few days. We`re still coming for Christmas together with Rose."

"OK. Listen, if you promise to behave, you can stay here with me, "

_Please, God, don`t let me regret this!_

"Thanks, but what about your lady?"

"What about my lady?" I pretended to be still half asleep and not follow his dirty trail of thoughts.

"Well, so there _is_ a lady, you didn`t correct me!" He shouted. He was probably thumping his chest, so proud of his smart ass.

"I know who you mean, brother dear. Bella is not my lady, she`s a great friend."

"OK, OK." He sounded like a posh English butler.

"And she certainly won`t be spending nights here next week, not that I wouldn`t want it, but… _fuck, fuck, fuck, I said it out loud_, we are not…" Great, I might as well parade around the hospital in my birthday suit tomorrow, it wouldn`t be as embarrassing.

My older brother… was quiet. No dirty joking, no laughing, nothing…

"Em, you didn`t faint there, did you?"

"Uhm, no, just thinking. My alter ego is trying to say something intelligent. I talked to Alice earlier on and she told me about Bella and you getting closer, so I thought I would get some more out of you."

_`Alice the Traitor` coming to the theater near you…_

"I see."

"You went swimming this morning, didn`t you?"

Where is he going with this? "Yeah, Bella`s girls` minder is sick and I helped out."

"Helped out? Bet there was something in there for you, too, Eddie!" Emmett was slipping into his goofy self.

"Let`s just… leave it, OK?"

"You know, you`re kinda different lately… and very jumpy when Bella is the subject."

"Jumpy?" I sat on the couch.

"I spoke to Dad the other day and he told me, I didn`t ask! He told me that whenever he mentioned Bella you were ready to slit his throat, like was touching the most valuable thing to you without permission."

"Really? I never noticed," I winced.

_Have I really been acting like a total idiot?_

"Yeah, so Dad decided that Bella must _be_ or _is becoming_ that valuable thing…"

"Interesting." What else could I say? Emmett only ever talked that seriously when it was about Rose and the baby thing, so it surprised me. 

"You know," he sighed, "I remember when I was getting married and everybody was laughing and shaking their heads `Hey, Emmett a husband and a father, that would be a good prime time show` and I thought I would show them all, I would prove that I could be as good as you…"

"As good as me? Em, that`s a load of crap, look at yourself and look at me? You built a grand business from scratch, you have a wife to die for, she`s been with you for so long and still loves the fool that you are in a way that makes me jealous; why would you want to be like me? I have a job I like, so what? I come home to an empty place."

"Not if Miss Bella is there? I know, she`s not there yet, but I`m sensing things…"

I had to laugh, Emmett `sensing things`…"Emmett…"

"Are you scared because she has kids? Is daddy dear around?"

"No, I`m not scared and he`s not around, at least that`s what Bella says. I wanna give her time. I mean, I _wanted _to give her time, she`s not like a chick who can wake up somewhere else every morning and nobody will ask questions. Bella is a mother so I have to thread carefully. But it`s getting… _harder,_ I mean difficult…"

"Oh, I can believe in things getting _harder_," old Emmett was back. "All I can say is Alice, Mom and Dad were right, this thing with you, it seems like it`s the big thing, you now, _the_ thing."

"_The thing_? You sound like a Harry Potter fan, `he-who-should-not-be-named`… _The thing_…" I laughed.

"Hey, I _am_ a Harry Potter fan!" Emmett defended himself with more fervor than five-year-old Hugo would do. I could imagine him stomping his feet.

"So, listen, call me with the flight details, alright? I`ll get a few cans and we`ll clarify why on Earth did you ever wanna be like me."

"Sure thing. And you take care of Bella and don`t be such a toothy lion with Dad next time he mentions her name, right?"

"Oh yeah, because Dad is afraid of me, haha!"

"OK, just don`t pounce the poor little lamb herself!"

"The little lamb?"

"I mean Bella, Edward."

I said bye to my brother and laughed at the mental picture of me being a roaring lion and Bella, a scared little lamb shaking as I prepared to attack her.

A few hours later I was about to turn off the lights when my phone lit up blue. A message. I smiled so broadly that my cheeks forced my eyes shut for a second.

`Hi there, handsome. Thank you for a lovely day, I could spend all my weekends with you doing the fun things that we did today. I wish you could be here now, my lips are missing yours… B.`

_Wow! My lips are missing all the wonderful places on you that my eyes haven`t even seen yet, Bella…_

`I was having the same thoughts… And forgive me for being so bold but if I were there with you now, I would have kissed much more of you than your lips only. E.`

_OK, little guy below my waist, no need to look for attention right now. It`s still just us here, for now…_

A too long a minute and a half and my near heart attack later, my phone buzzed again.

_Is she playing the game or gathering her toys and going home?_

`Yummy… Hold that thought. B.`

`Ufff, I was worried I scared you and scaring you away is the one thing that I don`t wanna do. E.`

`What makes you think you`re scaring me away? B.`

This time it was me who took a while to think.

`You need time, Bella. For all the things that I would like to do to you… with you… I will wait as long as I have to, unless or until, you order me away. E.` _There._

Forty seven seconds…

`It`s been a while. B.`

`Me too. E.`

After five long minutes and utter silence I shook my phone suspecting something wrong with it. I typed again.

`Let`s do it at our own pace, OK? I had a spectacular time with you three ladies today; the guys in the pool envied me. E.`

`Envied you? Didn`t you see the women who were ready to bite my head off looking at you? I`m so glad I can`t read minds, `cause they had dirty ones no doubt! B.`

`We`ll do some other things with the girls another day. Would they sit through a puppet show? E.`

`Never tried a puppet show I so don`t know, but thank you, you are so sweet. I can`t believe you chose swimming pool and a beach with squealing little girls over a sport game and a beer in your hand. B.`

`I adore spending time with your daughters, Bella! E.`

`And they adore you! But you know, you don`t have to do the pool and puppet shows and what-not for me, I would have wanted you anyway. B.`

`You`re right, I don`t have to do anything. I _want_ to! Please believe me that tonight I would have gladly read goodnight stories to Sophie and Rachel, tucked them in bed and right now I would be holding you on the couch and playing with your strawberry smelling hair. E.`

`Wow, that sounds so good, Edward. Just be careful not to fall in love with me, haha! B.`

_Too late for that, Bella._

`Sleep well, Sweetheart. E.`

`Goodnight, Mr. Sparkle ; -) B.`

And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 BPOV**

**HOPEFUL**

"Bella," I heard Edward`s silky voice as he broke our kiss, "I want to ask you something."

He was bringing me home after a meal. We sat in his silver Volvo outside my house and I looked into his dazzling eyes.

"What is it?" I asked in a haze, my hand on his thigh.

He glanced at me sweetly. My knees were thankful that their owner was sitting down because they still hadn`t gotten used to Edward`s effects on me and felt like giving in under me every time his lips, hands or eyes rested anywhere on me.

We were taking things slowly just as Edward had said a couple of days earlier. I realized that he was right; I needed time for whatever was to come and happen between us. My heart warmed to him even more every time he showed me that he was indeed intending to follow my pace. I`m not sure if he liked it but he was a gentleman and never pushed, no matter how much I suspected him to want to do just that, push the boundaries. No matter how much I myself wanted them pushed.

"Ummm…" He murmured looking down at my hand resting well above his knee. He covered mine with his own.

"Oh, I`m so sorry, I got carried away," I blurted out embarrassed and allowed Edward to slip my hand away. He held it on the seat between us. A short glance at the apex of his legs and I knew why he had done it. The corner of my eye registered a little twitch of the enlargement in his pants and instantly I felt hot and bothered and ready myself.

"It`s OK, no need to apologize, Sweetheart, but if we want to take things slowly… you know…" he said raggedly and smiled under his lashes. I reddened reflexively. He rubbed my cheek with his thumb and I molded my face into his palm.

"There`s this charity event at the hospital in two weeks` time, my parents will be there as well. My dad is supposed to receive an award for his thirty five years of serving the community as a family doctor. I`m also invited and it would make me incredibly proud if you agreed to be my guest for the night."

"Are we talking evening gowns and ties and all?" I winced while smiling and winking at him all at once.

"…Yyyyyes, I`m afraid so," Edward winced in response, hope fading from his eyes.

"In that case I will need your sister`s help."

He looked at me almost shocked, "Is that a `yes`?"

"Yes, that's a `yes`. You know I wouldn`t pass a chance to spend more time with you. Now, I`m no Cinderella and I`m not used to balls, but I`ll do my best."

"You`re right, Bella, you`re not Cinderella. Simply because no Disney princess holds a candle to you," he held my right hand and rubbed my knuckles.

_How did I, plain Bella end up in this car with the personification of sex, I will never know._

While I could still speak, something dawned on me, "Wait, your parents will be there?"

"Right."

"What if they don't like me?" 

Edward laughed, "So, you not scared to be in a house full of some snobby doctors but you worry that my parents may not approve of you?"

"Well, I`ve met your dad twice, once at the restaurant and then when the girls were sick. He`s a great man, he really is, but he came to my house professionally… And your mom, I`ve only seen her once, on my birthday… And this is important to you, you know, your colleagues will be there and they will comment the next day."

Edward put his index finger gently over my mouth, so I stopped talking.

"Bella, my colleagues will envy me the breathtaking girl you are. And my parents can`t wait to meet you again. And may I add, these are their own words."

I called Alice the next morning and told her about the event. She was delighted that I thought of her as my personal stylist. Edward and I weren`t an official couple but I wanted to make him proud that he took me with him. And obviously I wished to look my best. For that part I definitely needed Alice; only she could make me look presentable against her sinfully handsome brother.

She set to work right away when we met at the boutique for lunch. I was measured all over again and Alice promised to think of a special gown for me. I thought maybe we could go over some magazines or catalogues and simply order something but then I understood why you should never disagree with a pregnant woman. Let`s say if looks could kill, I`d be six feet under. Alice wanted to draw an original project herself and I gave in. Believe me, I had no choice.

While I was there, Jasper came in and I felt like something special happened in the room. It became even calmer and more tranquil. Jasper welcomed me and engulfed his wife in a loving embrace. I felt a flutter in my stomach, they were so gorgeous together but also the chemistry between them instantly made me long for… Edward`s arms.

The kiss that Jasper placed on his wife`s lips and the way his hand skimmed over her pregnant tummy were too much to take. I blushed.

Jasper stayed for a couple of minutes and I heard him and his wife exchange some Hugo school project and dinner information. It was so normal and so sweet. Alice and Edward`s brother Emmett was coming from Alaska the next day and they were preparing some entertainment for the reunion.

Tonight though, Edward was coming over for dinner at my house. I asked Rachel and Sophie to help me put the laundry away and we had fun sorting out our clothes, matching socks, talking about colors, sizes and fabrics. I watched and held back tears as they folded their t-shirts and pants. Some of them I would have to redo when the children weren`t watching but it filled me with so much pride, the determination in their eyes, the concentration and skill in their little fingers and the willingness in their hearts were endearing.

They came up with an idea of drawing a picture for Edward so I seized the opportunity and told them that I was going for a quick shower to refresh. The door to the bathroom was slightly open and I stripped off my clothes. The warm water felt wonderful. I closed my eyes and cherished the gentle floral scent of my shower gel. My tired muscles relaxed under the pressure of warm drops, and tensed the second I thought excitedly about seeing Edward again. I could hear the girls talking for a while and then it all stopped.

"Angels, is everything alright out there?" I called out. I had only had them out of sight for less than three minutes and already my "me time" seemed over.

_There`s motherhood for you._

"Yep!" They called back in unison.

"OK," I nodded to myself and a moment later I turned the water off.

The voices in the girls` bedroom had gotten quiet and muffled but occasionally I could hear crayons and pencils falling on the floor so I knew the work wasn`t done in there yet.

A sudden foot tap-tapping on the wooden floor nearing the bathroom made my head snap up.

"Mommy, I need to go wee-wee," I heard Sophie`s voice and saw half of her small body just outside the door.

"Come in then, love," I said and my daughter entered the bathroom as I was reaching for the towel.

I draped the towel over my chest and helped Sophie sit on the toilet.

"You rascals, have you been using markers?" I examined the colorful scribbles on her hands and arms. Her little lips turned upside down into a horseshoe like shape. I ruffled her hair.

"It`s alright, angel, you can use markers but remember when Mommy said you can use them when I`m there with you so your clothes and the furniture don`t get dirty because markers don`t wash off easily?"

She nodded her head.

"Will you remember next time, Baby?" I asked taking a smaller towel off a hook and drying my hair. My cover slipped off and revealed my chest. Sophie`s eyes examined my body like they had many times before.

"Mommy`s boobies," she pointed with a finger, the marker chat forgotten. I smiled and pulled the towel up.

I helped Sophie wash her hands and squatted beside her to dry them. My towel went down again. My daughter giggled and I followed her suit. I reached up to fix her hair and I felt a little hand pressing to my left breast.

"I like your boobies, Mommy," she said looking into my eyes.

"Thank you, sweetie."

"You`re very soft," her child voice sounded sweet and loving as her hand skimmed across my flesh. "What`s this?" she asked pointing at the peak and then she gently placed the cushion of her index finger on top of it.

The change in the temperature, the brushing of the fabric and the thoughts of Edward combined and made them both stand up hard.

"It`s a nipple, Sophie. When you were a little baby, there was milk in Mommy`s breasts for you and Rachel, you know? And it came out through the nipples."

We had talked about it tens of times previously and every time it elicited chuckles and laughs from my two little ladies. Somehow my breastfeeding seemed like a joke to them. The evidence on photos and home videos of their two baby faces glued to my tits and sucking greedily did little to convince them otherwise.

"Was my daddy there?"

_Shit, what?_

"When you drank Mommy`s milk? No, baby, he wasn't," I said wondering what was going through her mind.

"Why?"

"Why? He just… wasn`t. Sometimes this is how things happen, Sophie."

"I want to hear you heart," she demanded out of the blue.

"Please?" I reminded her and moved her hand to place it under my still bare breast.

"Please, Mommy?" She repeated cocking her head cutely.

She looked at her own hand intently and felt my heartbeat as I stared at her beautiful face. I could never get enough of just looking at my babies. Sophie`s deep brown eyes were surrounded by a curtain of thick dark lashes which looked adorable against her skin. Her cute button nose would twitch when she laughed and her lovely pink lips formed a circle when she was concentrating, especially when she drew and scribbled, her tongue protruding and following the movements of the pencil...

_If only I could give you your daddy, my precious angel…_

I kissed the tip of her nose.

Our booby conversation ended as quickly as it began and Sophie skipped into the hallway leaving me do dry off and dress.

I pulled my damp hair into a messy bun and walked into my children`s bedroom.

"So, how is the drawing going, girls?" I said cheerfully and stopped right where I was.

_Oh Em Gee, I will never be bored with these two._

Four little eyes looked at me startled. I scanned their beds and understood why they had gone so quiet a while earlier; they had been drawing all over their bed sheets with markers! The penguin and monkey bed sheets that they had begged me for to match Iggy and Mooky were covered in colorful lines, circles and other unidentifiable shapes! My eyes narrowed. It was one of the moments when I wished their father would be here with us and deal with the situation because I felt like walking back to the bathroom, closing the door and staying in there forever.

The silence in the children`s room was deafening. I chose to say nothing. I walked over to the girls, took the markers from them and left. They knew by the look on my face that I wasn`t impressed by their behavior. My landline phone rang and I wet downstairs to pick it up.

"Hello?" I breathed out exasperated.

"Hello? Bella, it`s Alice, are you alright? You sound… funny."

_God, she`s good at picking up my moods!_

"Hi. As a matter of fact I`m not alright, Alice. I`m struggling here…" I felt my eyes fill with tears.

"What`s going on, sweetie?" She cut me off worried.

"I`ve had a lovely, easy afternoon with the girls. We did some fun stuff together and we talked about Edward coming over tonight. They wanted to draw a picture for him and minutes later I found them scribbling on their favorite bed sheets! With markers, nonetheless! I nearly lost it suddenly. Sometimes I think maybe it was too early to move away from my mom. You know, in Phoenix I always had Mom and Phil with me, we shared the responsibilities. It was so much easier… Now I`m alone and ninety nine percent of the time it`s great but then they do a silly thing like that and I feel useless."

"Bella, love, you are a wonderful, absolutely wonderful mom! I really admire what you do with them. They are little sweethearts, darling. As for the silliness, of course they do sillies, they want to explore and experience new things!" I could imagine Alice smiling warmly on the other side of the receiver.

"I know it all," I rubbed my face in desperation and noticed the girls entering the room. "I want them to explore and I know that they don`t know the value of money. Normally I don`t mind the mess and God knows I do a lot of artsy things with them, we get paints and glue all over the place, but for some reason this bed sheets scribbling… Oh, I don`t know…" I said frustrated and held Rachel who managed to climb up on my lap.

Alice chuckled to herself quietly, "You know, I don`t think this is actually about the scribbling. I believe you`re just tired and maybe feeling lonely and you`re doubting yourself. You have a lot on your plate. It piles up and up until it tips you over."

"You might be right, Alice," I smiled to myself and sighed kissing Rachel`s hair.

"I am actually calling about your party dress, Bella. I think I have an idea for it and I could pop over for a moment to show you the drawings and give you a big hug? I know you`re expecting Edward tonight but I would only stay for a few minutes and leave before he arrived."

"Oh, Alice, you are my savior! Of course you can come! I would absolutely do with a big hug from you and the Bump! And you`re very welcome to join us all for dinner."

"That`s very sweet. Thank you, Bella, but we`re going to see Jasper`s parents tonight so it will really be a short visit. I just want to show you the project and start working on the dress," she said.

I gave her directions to our house and put the receiver down. Both of my girls were beside me and looked remorseful. They apologized for the mess and for taking the markers out of my drawer. The markers are non toxic and washable but I want the children to respect belongings, those of other people`s and their own equally. We had a chat about the scribbling and the failure to listen to Mommy. I got hugs and kisses and we went to the bathroom to scrub four little hands clean. Then, while waiting for Alice I started dinner and helped Sophie and Rachel with the pictures for Edward which they still wanted to create. They asked me to draw a big heart from each of them for him so they could color them in. We used coloring pencils.

By the time I opened the door to Edward`s sister I felt calm and completely in control again. She was right, I felt overwhelmed sometimes and it had very little if anything to do with Rachel and Sophie; they were just being children.

After showing me the project of my gown and the fabric samples Alice seized the moment when the children weren`t around and whispered to me, "Bella, I thought about the markers and the bed sheets. I will never forget when Hugo was even younger than Sophie and Rachel and he would draw all over the walls in our rented apartment in London. Imagine when we discovered his creations in practically every room, as high on the walls as Hugo could reach. We had to repaint the whole place! Eventually Jasper, who blames _me_ for the artistic side in Hugo by the way, bought a roll of wide white paper. He cut a large piece of it and stuck it to one wall and told Hugo that he could draw as much as he wanted but only on that one wall. And it worked! We kept cutting big pieces of paper and he would draw all over again. Then he got a chalk board from Edward and was chuffed. Eventually he stopped drawing on that wall. So after we talked earlier today, I had a thought. I have fabric paints. If you wanted you could get the girls plain white duvet sets and they would paint and decorate them the way they wanted."

"Oh, that`s a great idea, Alice! I`ll think about it, thank you," I said relieved and let her embrace me, her ever growing stomach between us.

Rachel and Sophie had so much to show and tell Alice that we slipped into a comfortable conversation for longer than we had planned. Alice took a quick tour of the house and had to promise the children that she would be back and play with them "for a long, looooong time" (Rachel`s words precisely).

The ding dong at the door came unexpectedly. I opened it to Edward who was surprised at the sight of his sister`s car outside. Alice gave him a quick peck on the cheek and a tap on the arm. Then she blew kisses to the three of us girls and disappeared, all of it gracefully and lightly like a ballerina, as if her pregnant stomach weighed less than an ounce.

"Well," Edward looked at my two rascals and opened his arms, "is this number fifty five Twilight Avenue, ladies?"

"Yes, yes!" The little ones shouted and buried their heads in his chest.

_Lord, it`s so good to see him again… _

He stood up and welcomed me by pressing his lips to my temple minutely and running his hand down my side. My body shivered with excitement and cried for more but I knew I would have to wait till the children couldn`t see. One warm smile of his though and all was good in my world.

"We did a silly thing today," Sophie said solemnly to Edward.

She stood in front of him, tiny and vulnerable. She looked up into his eyes and told him bravely about her guilty conscience. I felt a frown forming on my forehead. I found it interesting that after my dealing with the situation this little girl still felt compelled to confess her wrongdoing to Edward. She hadn`t said anything to Alice, although the woman spent over half an hour with us and even saw the evidence of the mischief but for some reason, a short minute after Edward appeared in the door my daughter laid her cards on the table. Rachel stood arm in arm with her sister and had an identical look on her face. The man flashed a fleeting look at me before getting down to the two-year-olds` eye level.

"You did a silly thing?" He questioned.

Two heads nodded, waiting.

"And what was it that you did, girls?"

"We drawed on pillows and duvets," Sophie said quietly, her brown eyes never leaving Edward`s green depths.

"We took Mommy`s markers…" Rachel added and now _I_ felt guilty about making _them_ feel bad about what happened. After all it was nothing!

"You tookMommy`s markers and _drew _on your pillows and duvets? And what did Mommy do?" Edward asked.

"Mommy was very sad," Rachel admitted.

"Well, I would have been very sad as well. It`s not nice when you don`t listen to Mommy and now your lovely bed sheets will have to be washed, won`t they?"

The children nodded again.

"And you will remember to listen next time, won`t you, girls?"

Another nod.

The three of them hugged it out and we went to wash hands and enjoy our dinner. Edward praised the fish pie we had and said that he could eat my dinners every day. I felt like telling him that I would have been very happy cooking for him every day but at this stage I settled for kind thanks.

I found out that Emmett was going to stay with Edward for two nights and upon learning that Emmett would have loved my cooking too, I boldly invited them both over for dinner one night. Edward said he wasn`t sure he wanted to subject me to his brother`s jokes, but I said I would brave him as I remembered Emmett as a genuinely nice guy.

After we`d eaten my telephone rang and Edward motioned me to pick it up, he was going to play with the girls for a while. It was my mom. One of her best friend`s husband was sick and Renèe was sad and stressed out. She was consoling her friend, a lady I knew from when I lived in Phoenix, but then she needed to talk to someone herself and regain emotional balance.

The kids wanted to say hello and goodnight to grandma so I gave them the telephone and listened as Rachel told my mom that Edward was over at our place. It only took a minute longer before I got the receiver back from my daughters.

"Bella, I`m so sorry, I didn't realize Edward was there with you. I`ll call you later, honey!"

"Mom, it`s OK!" I tried to explain.

"Bella, you have your amazing man in your house and I`m just blabbering away. I`ll call you tomorrow, alright? Phil`s just home now."

"OK, Mom. Say hi to Phil from us."

I put the phone down and walked into the kitchen where I heard Edward and the twins talking. They were loading the dishwasher together! The children were passing the plates, forks and spoons to Edward, who was placing them on the racks and in the cutlery container. They were having the time of their lives and didn't even pay attention to me entering the room.

"And what are your teachers` names?" Edward asked Sophie who was closer to him at the moment.

"Emma and Lynne."

"And they`re both nice to you?"

"Yes. And they read us lots and lots of stories!"

"And we sing songs about monkeys and crocodiles!" Rachel added enthusiastically. I chuckled.

Twenty minutes later when the children were in their bedroom with the lights off, Edward and I sat back down in the living room. I told him about Alice`s plan to make a Hollywood star out of me for the hospital event. He laughed and rolled his eyes at his sister`s antics. One word led to another and we began to talk about Alice and Jasper.

"They really are amazing together. You know, meant to be." I said and Edward smiled. "When did they meet?"

"Alice was fifteen and Jasper and I were eighteen -"

"They`ve been together for sixteen years?!" My eyes grew wider.

"Not exactly."

"On and off?"

"Yes. That was the time when Jasper moved to our school. He and I had classes together and we got on well. He would come to our house nearly every day. Alice was fifteen and had only had movie star infatuations before, no real guy. But she crushed on Jasper really hard. I could see that he liked her but she was still a kid and we were young adults, you know, eighteen and all…" Edward rolled his eyes, "And Jasper had a girlfriend who was our age."

"Oops," I felt sorry for the teenage Alice.

"Oops is right," Edward smiled, "Alice was proud but I knew she suffered. She did all the stupid things like talking about boys who wanted to date her, or popping into my room in some skimpy clothes to `borrow something`, all of it when Jasper was around of course. I think Mom had a few words with her about that. Sometime later Jasper broke up with his girlfriend and Alice was hopeful for a while that he will finally notice her but soon after he started dating someone else and broke my sister`s heart again."

"That`s awful, Edward. And I can`t even imagine the two of them apart!" I exclaimed.

"I know, now it sounds impossible. But fear not, they got together a few years later when Jasper and I were already in college. We were in town on a Christmas break and he hung out at our house as usually, we played the guitar and so on. At some stage I was out of the room for a few minutes and as I walked back down the hallway I saw Jasper and my little sister making out against the wall," Edward closed his eyes and shook his head as if trying to get the image out of his head.

I laughed, "Oh, shit." _Poor Alice, poor Jasper, poor Edward!_

"Needless to say, Jasper went back to uni completely loved up. You know what Alice told me after that?" Edward imitated his sister`s voice, "`I knew he would be mine, he just didn't know that he wanted it, too.`"

"That`s so Alice," I laughed.

He nodded and rolled his eyes again, "Jasper studied history in California so it wasn`t easy but they called each other all the time and whenever he was in Seattle, they seemed inseparable… until Alice got accepted into a college in London."

"Really? Jasper studied at the University of California?"

"Yeah."

"I did, too! Huh! It`s a pity we never met there."

_Imagine being a part of this gang years ago…would have been great, maybe Edward and I would have met each other back then and been together for several years now…_

"Where did you study?" I asked him.

"Washington."

"Nice!"

"Thank you!" He kissed me.

"Anyway, about Alice and Jasper…" I said waving a hand in the air and Edward laughed at my `dramatic display`, "Go on, please."

"Over a few years they only saw each other a few times, mainly in the summer and at Christmas. There was always this palpable chemistry between them, but they also argued quite often. Alice would tell you a lot more, obviously. All I know is that after she had finished her fashion design studies in England, Jasper thought she would come back to America. However, Alice decided to stay in London and do some financial studies as well. More time passed by and believe me, Jasper was a flipping nightmare to be around. Then Alice told us that she wanted to stay in the UK for good. She came home for a few weeks in the summer to see us all, fought with Jasper all the time, then packed her bags and flew back to England…" Edward gave me a wicked smile and raised his eyebrows.

My own brows traveled up as well, "And…?"

"That was about six years ago…" He was still smiling as if waiting for me to understand something.

"OK…?" I said slowly and carefully. And then it clicked. My mouth opened. "Oh my, six years ago… she was pregnant."

Edward just nodded his head, "Yep, she fell pregnant the night before she left for London."

It was my turn to smile wickedly, "Some fighting they did…"

"Uhm."

_Well, well, Alice is a Cullen after all…_

"How did they get back together?"

"That`s a bit of a story… In the first few weeks Alice stayed in touch with the family on a regular basis. She would tell us about the apartment she was sharing with this Irish girl, the job in a fashion house that she couldn`t believe she`d landed, and plans for the future. She would call Jasper `the fool` and ask how he was doing. It was heart wrenching because I knew she missed him like crazy. Around November Jasper told me that when he asked her in a text message whether she was coming home for Christmas, Alice just typed `No`, so he knew better not to annoy her anymore and left it at that. I found it interesting because in the first weeks after leaving Alice kept saying that she would be in Seattle in December for sure. I thought that maybe she just didn`t want _Jasper_ around when she came. I didn`t understand why she was doing it to herself, pushing away the one thing she wanted the most. So I texted her without revealing what Jasper had told me. She answered `no, because I won`t be allowed to fly`. We went back and forth and I finally got it out of her that she was pregnant. I called her straight away but she kept texting me, she didn't want to talk about it. After Alice had left, Jasper was utterly broken and something sank in me when I read that message from her. I was convinced that she must have been seeing some guy in England and he was the father. I couldn`t believe that it was really over between her and Jasper. They fought but they had this pull towards each other. I mean, they were just good together," Edward winced. I nodded. "But seconds later I got a message from Alice `I`m five months along, you do the maths, doctor`. There was no other possibility, it could only be Jasper`s baby. As I learned later she found out about the pregnancy pretty early but never told anyone. She was going to inform Jasper of his fatherhood but she was planning to raise the baby alone. I still don't know if I did the right thing but I couldn`t keep something like that from Jasper. I told him about the baby the same day, against Alice`s will."

"Maybe she told _you_ because she secretly wanted you to tell _him_."

"You`re right, that`s what she admitted to me later on. You women are tricky!" He waved his finger at me playfully. "Anyway, within hours Jasper was on a plane to London. And they stayed there. Jasper lectured American history in one of the colleges, Hugo was born at the end of March and later in the summer they were married. They moved back to Seattle permanently two years ago."

"Whoooaaa…"

"I`m sure Alice will tell you all the girly details," I received a wink.

"This is something else," I shook my head in disbelief.

"What struck me was that before London they used to argue like mad. But then Jasper went to England and since then they`ve been the calmest, most loving and caring couple ever. I think their frustration just about killed this incredible relationship that they have. For a long time they didn't see it happening, with Alice over in Europe."

"Uhm," I agreed. It had to be true because I couldn`t imagine two people who would be more in love. I guess after what they had gone through, it was only natural. "Do you think they would have ended up together even if Hugo hadn't been on the way?"

"Ha! That`s the twist! You see, Jasper wanted to know if Alice was coming to Seattle or staying for Christmas in England because he wanted to surprise her in London… with an engagement ring."

"NO!"

"YES!" Edward shouted and we both laughed. "He was scared to death because they had only spoken and texted each other sporadically after Alice left, but he was determined to give it a real go. If it was distance that kept them apart then he was going to close it, literally. He didn't know how Alice would react to him even _being_ in London but he had to try. Just after she left he got in contact with his fellow teachers and professors overseas and found a job in London. He was going to stay there, with or without her."

"Oh God, that`s so romantic!" I gushed. I felt that closeness between them from the start and now their story made perfect sense.

Edward smiled under his nose. "Jasper wanted to try and win her over again and hopefully slip that ring on her finger one day. But when I told him that he shouldn't wait till Christmas because Alice was expecting their baby… He went so pale, I thought he was going to faint. I don't even want to imagine what he felt, learning that she had been carrying his child and not telling him –" Edward suddenly shot me a glance and looked at me apologetically, "Sorry, I shouldn`t have said that."

_Well, he doesn't know about my girls` father. Maybe he thinks I never told him?_

I waved him off and he continued. "I believe that Hugo helped them to quit their games and get together for good, like they were meant to be."

"Wow, you are a romantic yourself, Edward Cullen," I winked at him.

"Romantic or not, I know a diamond when I hold it in my hand," he leaned over, sweetly kissing the top of my head. My whole body tingled.

_I`ve got to ask Alice about her story. I need details!_

"So, what`s the plan with Emmett now?" I asked and snuggled into Edward`s chest. I put a hand over his heart and smiled to myself as it reminded me of Sophie feeling my own heart earlier on.

"He`s flying in tomorrow morning and staying with Mom and Dad for the first couple of days. The last two nights he`ll be with me. We`ll do some beer drinking and game watching. Haven`t done it in ages. Usually Rose is with him and they stay at Mom and Dad`s so we don`t get to do brotherly things much these days."

"If everything goes well with the restaurant though, you`ll have a chance to do it more often," I noticed from my snuggly place.

Edward`s chest moved as he chuckled, "I don`t know if it`s good or bad for my health to be honest. Emmett tells you like it is, he doesn`t sugar-coat, doesn`t beat around the bush…"

"Yeah, I get the picture," this time it was me who laughed. "I like him a lot, Edward. I appreciate his sense of humor and his honesty. I only met him once and it was in a bar but he was a really good guy."

"Oh, no doubts about that, he _is _a good guy. He`s just goofy sometimes."

"Quirky," I suggested.

"Quirky… yeah, I like that. Emmett is a big bear. I even remember calling him Yogi Bear when we were younger," he laughed again and I joined him.

Edward`s pager buzzed and he had to leave. I made him promise that no matter what time, he would let me know everything was OK.

An incoming text message signal woke me up in the middle of the night.

`All OK. Kids riding motorcycles with no helmets, one hit a wall. Fractured jaw, fixed now. Going home, talk tomorrow. E.`

_Wow, I`m in bed, asleep and he`s just saved somebody`s life. And how stupid can some people be, riding bikes without helmets? Wait, I used to do that with Jacob… And then our fathers found out_…

_I wasn`t grounded, but the things Charlie said to me, about how careless and selfish and with no imagination I had been, I felt like the worst person in the world. I didn`t think what could have happened to me. My dad told me what it would have done to him and my mom, had I been involved in some gruesome accident due to my stupidity. It was way worse than being grounded. Back then I was having fun but right now it made me want to go to that hospital and shake some sense into this youngster; for his own and Edward`s sake. _

The next few days went by quickly. I talked to my mom a few times, called my dad in Forks and checked on Jacob. After the initial pleasantries all three of them wanted to know more about Edward. After that I decided against calling Angela ; -) People around me must have been dazzled or something and they were beginning to view me as a part of this so far only very faintly existent unit that Edward and I were. Like some kind of "Edella", like "Brangelina" or "Zanessa", although I wasn`t sure "Zanessa" actually existed anymore... Yeah, I was familiar with "HSM".

Edward was working nights to be able to spend some time with his brother and we only saw one another twice for an hour or two. I missed him terribly, while Rachel and Sophie were asking if he was coming to see us all the time. I put him on the speaker phone a couple of times when the twins were around and he asked them to be good girls for Mommy and remember to listen. He had become this father figure to them. It dawned on me one day that my children wanted Edward to be pleased with them. They awaited his calls as much as I did, brightened up when they heard his voice and bounced and grinned from ear to ear when he came around. So when I told them that Edward was going to join us for dinner along with his brother, you would have thought that no other than good old Santa Claus was coming in the middle of November. The toys found their proper places, the pencils were put away, faces cleaned, hands scrubbed, hair brushed. Not that I let my kids run around sticky and dirty but this time both Sophie and Rachel awakened the princess genes in them and made extra special effort all by themselves. I laughed and right after that looked in the mirror to check if my own hair was in place. We girls must be born with this thing. I never cared too much about appearance. I was always clean and tidy and sure I wanted to look nice, but labels and perfect color coordination weren`t high on my list of importance. I wore high heels to meetings but you would still see me at my office desk wearing an elegant top and nice jeans completed with a pair of my favorite Chucks. Mike always teased me about it in Phoenix. It reminded him of Forks High where his on-off and now `on` again as I heard, girlfriend Jessica and I dressed like that. He would laugh that the two of us would never grow up. One day Jess said that I should pay attention to the way Mike talked about it. He never said that we _should_ grow up and stop wearing converse runners with feminine tops, he simply laughed that we _never would_. And she said it was because he secretly found it very arousing. Interesting. Now, every time I dressed like that I found myself wondering if Edward found it sexy, too…

I was a bit worried what I could cook for a chef and owner of a very good and successful restaurant to please his palate, but Edward insisted that Emmett just loved food in general and wasn`t fussy at all. Kate was wonderful and did all the shopping the previous day and she even chopped the vegetables and chicken for the casserole so all I had to do was throw them all in a pot, season and let it do its thing. I suggested to Sophie and Rachel that they make place tags for us, so I cut out and folded small pieces of card paper and I guided the childrens` hands to write our names on them. The girls added finishing touches of colorful stickers and voilà.

Little meringue nests with whipped cream, raspberries and blueberries for dessert were ready and I was just about to start cutting avocados for starters when the doorbell rang. My children bolted out of the dining room where they had been putting place tags beside our plates and all three Swan girls greeted the two Cullen boys.

"Hey, Bella ragazza! " Emmett bellowed as soon as I saw him.

"Benvenuto, Emmett, come stai?" I exclaimed dramatically and burst into laughter as his big bear form enveloped me.

"Oh, you speak Italian?" He said having set me down.

"A bit, yes," I rolled my eyes and caught Edward`s surprised look.

"Well, what d`ya know, huh?," Emmett laughed, "Thank you for having me, Bella. It`s great to see you again. Oh, these are for you," he said handing me a little bunch of flowers.

"Miniature suflowers? I love them, thank you! Where did you get them in Seattle at this time of year?" I asked myself rather than Emmett.

"That`s a secret, I`m afraid. Glad you like them. I thought it would be nice to have some sunshine in the house in November but I don`t think you need much more with these young ladies here!" He added looking down at my girls who had been standing there with their mouths agape. They had seen Emmett before briefly at the restaurant on my birthday and now it looked like they were trying to make sense of it all. So, _this _is Edward`s brother, hmm…

Initially they both took an unsure step back but felt brave enough not to hide behind me. As Emmett squatted in front of them and they noticed two rectangular shapes wrapped in colorful paper in his hand, their eyes darted between the packages and the man`s face.

"Rachel and Sophie, these are for you. Thank you for inviting me to your house tonight."

_Oh, yeah, Christmas has arrived five weeks early! _

The little ones looked at me and I nodded in approval. "What do we say?" I whispered to them as they accepted the gifts.

"Thank you," they said in unison and immediately turned to me again, "Mommy, open it, open it!"

"Please?"

"Please, Mommy?!" I found it very entertaining that every time I reminded them to ask for what they wanted politely, they cocked their heads sweetly as they did so. This time Edward had been standing beside his brother and watched the little display as enchanted as I was myself and when the girls said "please" to me with their trademark head cocking, his head did exactly the same motion in perfect coordination with the children`s.

I shook my head at Emmett that he shouldn`t have done it, but he waved me off as if saying it was no problem at all and the pleasure was all his. Four small hands skimmed across mine impatiently as I unwrapped the presents.

"Coloring, coloring!" Rachel shouted and clapped her hands.

"Look, Mommy, that`s Winnie and Tigger!" Sophie pointed to me and her eyes sparkled. I could feel her hands itching to get the coloring book and run away with it at once.

"That`s right, Sophie, Winnie and Tigger coloring book. Are you excited?"

The question was unnecessary. Of course they were excited. In a matter of seconds the room was children free and I invited Emmett and Edward into the dining room.

"How are you?" I felt a warm hand on the small of my back and a soft murmur against my temple as we walked down the hallway. My stomach burned.

"Good," I smiled catching Edward`s eyes and caught a quick kiss on the lips. Now the whole area below my stomach was close to convulsing.

"OK, gentlemen," I said putting the flowers in a tiny vase. They were so cute! "Would you like some wine? Did you drive here?"

"No, we took a bus and we`ll get a cab later. And I have something for you, too," Edward handed me a wine bottle he`d been holding this whole time not wanting to steal Emmett`s show.

"Oh, lovely, thank you," I said taking a bottle of white out of the bag. "You are spoiling us tonight, boys."

"Our pleasure," Edward replied.

I went into the kitchen for wine glasses and began saying something to my guests out loud but their answers came directly from the corner of where I was.

"My, Bella, the smells here are delicious!" I heard Emmett closely behind me. "I hope you don't mind me in your kitchen, I just think it`s the heart of every house."

"Of course I don`t. Make yourself comfortable. I didn`t know what you liked so I went for the simplest home dishes. Chicken casserole?" I looked at him hopefully.

"Yum! Can I help you with anything?" He rubbed his hands and Edward chuckled.

"OK, mister, I was gonna cut the avocados for starters and just sprinkle them with lemon juice, olive oil and salt, what d`ya think?"

"Perfect!"

"I`ll check on the girls and will join you in a minute, OK?" Edward offered and left the kitchen.

Emmett winked at me and set to work. It was such joy to watch a professional chef in my kitchen. Not once did he criticize me or my methods. He was helpful and fantastic but respectful. Although I only passed him the ingredients and he prepared the starters all by himself, which took him roughly three minutes, he complimented _me_ on them!

Halfway through the process Emmett checked the kitchen door for young ears and said to me, "So, how are things between you two going?"

I was hoping that closing my eyes would make my sudden blush disappear but the heat I felt on my cheeks confirmed that I had hoped in vain.

"Um… we`re… OK, I suppose," I let out a deep sigh.

"OK."

_What? `OK`? I`ve met this man before only once, but I know that Emmett Cullen doesn`t let go of things easily._

"I promised Edward that I wouldn`t ask you too many questions tonight."

"Oh, I see."

"I don`t know you long and well, Bella but you two are good together, you know? My brother`s been different since he met you," he continued whilst squeezing lemon juice over the avocados. "He`s calmer. I don`t know, he seems more sure of who he is, like he has purpose now. And he`s fiercely protective of you and the girls. To top that, you certainly don`t seem uncomfortable around him," he looked up all of a sudden and his blue eyes bore deeply into mine. I instinctively looked away.

"Thank you, Emmett," I whispered.

"God knows I adore you already and normally no woman stands a chance with me compared to Rose. But you and your daughters stole my heart the moment I met you in that restaurant months ago."

"Ow, Emmett!" I felt a rush of emotion and rubbed his arm as he arranged the food on the plates.

Edward came back with the children and we sat down to eat.

Whenever I asked Emmett about the new location for the restaurant, he said everything was OK and changed the subject so eventually I gave up fearing that things hadn`t turned out the way he`d anticipated. But he seemed in a great form and making him welcomed in my house was I all could do. My twins took to him easily and after the main course Sophie sat on Edward`s lap and Rachel occupied Emmett`s and they all colored Winnie the Pooh pictures together while I got the coffee and dessert ready.

"Are you flying in the morning?" I asked Emmett, placing the meringues in front of my guests.

"After lunch. I`m seeing Alice and Jasper at midday and they`re bringing me to the airport. But both Rose and I will be back next month so it won`t be a sad goodbye tomorrow," he chuckled against my daughter`s hair.

"Oh, I`d say it`s hard for your family to say goodbye even if it`s only for a couple of weeks."

"You`re sure about that, Bella?" Edward threw in with a laugh.

"See who I grew up with?" Emmett pretended to be offended looking at Edward, "You know, Mom is the funniest. When we all left for college Dad says she cried and cried for weeks, but eventually she came round and accepted it. When Edward came back to Seattle a few years ago, she was happy. But after Alice and Jasper packed their bags in London, she was ecstatic and now she wants _me_ back home, too."

"Yeah," Edward added, "It was fine when we were all away, she was coping well, but now that only Emmett lives far from home, it`s not good enough. She wants us back together."

Emmett took over again, "She told me that it would be so great for the grandkids to live in the same city. I reminded her that she only had one grandchild and another on the way, but she`s sure Rose and I will add to the family at some point as well," he looked at me with glassy eyes and adjusted my daughter dozing off against his chest.

"It will all work out, Emmett," I tried to make my voice sound strong and certain.

He sighed heavily and smiled looking at Edward and I, "I`ve been waiting for tonight to tell you two together… I have signed the initial contract this morning. I`m buying that place for the restaurant!"

"No way!" Edward and I whispered loudly.

"Yes!" Emmett repeated. "The final papers will be ready next month and I want Rose to see the place herself, too. Even better, you know that there`s a little coffee shop beside the restaurant?"

"Yes, Edward told me about it. I know the place," I said, curious to hear more.

"That coffee shop, my dear brother and almost-sister, is owned by the same person and they are selling that, too! The price is good and I can either break a wall between the places and expand it into one large venue or keep them separate."

"Wow, that`s amazing!" Edward fidgeted with excitement. "And you didn`t let a word out all day!"

"As I said, I wanted it to be a surprise to you both and I had to call Rosie beforehand."

"I bet she`s anxious to move now," I raised my brows.

"She is, but… um…," Emmett lowered his voice to a mere whisper, "There`s something else…"

"What is it?" Edward and I sounded like we had one voice again.

"She took a pregnancy test this morning and…" he looked away for a second, nearly shaking with emotion, "It showed two lines…"

"Positive," I stated to myself.

"She`s waiting for me to come home to go to the doctor together. She doesn`t want to be there alone."

"But that`s good, Emmett, isn`t it? _Very_ good," I felt hope growing in me instantaneously.

"I`m not sure, Bella," he said calmly, rubbing some non-existent speck of dust off Rachel`s sleeve. "She`s taken countless pregnancy tests in the past and we`ve seen double lines and pluses on them before, but they were false. After each one of them Rose would have a breakdown. I even banned pregnancy tests from home but how can I forbid her doing something that means more than anything else to her? The difference this time is she`s been feeling unwell lately and we haven`t seen a positive test in over a year, so… She told me today that she was terrified of taking another test just to check. I can`t wait to go home. I`m scared what will happen if it didn`t work again."

"But you said it`s different this time," I prayed and begged angels to listen.

"With her not feeling well? Yeah. That tiny detail makes me…"

"Happy?"

"Hopeful, Bella. It makes me hopeful," he said and buried his face in Rachel`s hair.

I instinctively placed my hand across the table and on top of Emmett`s. At the same time Edward`s soothing touch rested on my forearm. I looked at them both through my teary eyes, each of them holding one of my children closely to their hearts. In that moment we became a family.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 BPOV**

**CINDERELLAS**

"Mmmm… Edward," a moan escaped me when his lips traced down my neck and his silky hair tickled my chin. I heard a growl in response and slid my hand into the soft, unruly strands, pulling Edward closer to my skin.

"God, Bella… mmm… You taste amazing…" he kept murmuring to himself. He had pushed the fabric of my top down as much as he could and now his warm, wet tongue was traveling along the top parts of my breasts that weren`t covered up by lace.

My heart was beating so furiously that it threatened to break through my ribcage. I felt like I had spiked a high fever. Every tiny bit of my body was on fire. My head collapsed involuntarily against the back seat of the couch and my chest arched in the same moment. Edward emitted an unidentified sound that my brain didn`t seem to have decoded but the warm place between my legs understood it in a flash and was now hot and wet, very wet… and waiting… hoping… wanting… begging…

We were both breathing heavily. I slowly opened my eyes and my sensations deepened now that visuals were added to the experience. Edward`s hands were moving boldly from my shoulder blades to the front of my body and his long thumbs made their way to the sides of my breasts and rubbed them. His lips parted with my flushed skin and his green pools greedily took in the sight of my chest. _He smiled to himself!_ I was fully dressed but it was Edward`s heat that was burning me. God, how I wanted to burn! My hands flew to his thighs and he looked up at me. His eyes were hooded. In a split second he covered my mouth with his and our tongues tangled in a desperate dance while our moans sang a duet of longing and desire. Under Edward`s weight I slipped down on the couch till I lay flat, pulling him on top of me. My legs opened in avid invitation and as Edward`s form clung to mine I whimpered wretchedly into his mouth. His response was fast and hard, very hard against my weeping hips. I could feel him through his pants, right where I needed and wanted him. My brain and my body reactions didn`t seem to be in any way connected in that moment because the next time a conscious thought passed through my mind, I was grasping and squeezing Edward`s buttocks and pressing them to me until my fingernails were white.

His cologne mixed up with his natural, `Edward scent` and he was now breaking into gentle sweat. His lips were all over my face and neck, one of his hands sneaking underneath the silk of my blouse and up to my bra. I writhed under his touch and my brain was clouded again.

_My god, if we only ripped those clothes off… _

Edward`s other hand slid under my bottom and pushed it hard towards his manhood which was fighting for freedom. He wanted me. If I could just open that zip… I could feel him… in my hands… in my mouth… inside me…

But I couldn't. It was just after lunch. I had a team meeting at work in the morning and then came back home early. Lately we had begun behaving like a pair of teenagers who couldn't stop touching and making out whenever there was a chance and Edward came over to my house for lunch first, before starting his shift.

My dad was coming from Forks and he couldn`t wait to see Sophie and Rachel so I suggested that he collect them on the way to the house. They would be home any moment now and sadly Edward`s and my make out session would end with no "conclusion".

We were taking every second we could as if the end of the world was imminent and those stolen moments were all we had.

Against my deepest urges, I slowed the kiss down…

"Edward, um… baby, they will be here any second now…" I whispered raggedly and heard him sigh heavily.

His forehead pressed between my breasts as he waited for his breathing to steady. I ran my fingers through his hair for the last time, trying to store the feeling in my memory until I would touch it again. My hands moved up onto Edward`s shoulders.

"I`m sorry. I lost myself," he replied and his voice was as bothered as his body.

"I like getting lost with you," I winked at him when our eyes met and I ruffled his hair.

"You have no idea what you do to me, Bella," he said boldly, reciprocating the wink.

Of course, like an idiot, I blushed. "Oh, I think I have," and with that I gyrated ever so slightly against him. This time it was Edward who bit his lip and minutely his eyes lolled back.

Then familiar sounds reached my ears. My dad`s car was pulling into the driveway. Edward pecked me quickly on the tip of my nose.

"I`ll let you say hello first… um… I need to splash some freezing water at least on my face," he said with a smile.

I jumped up and raked a hand through my messy hair. My blouse looked like… well, like someone had just been stretching and pulling at it, let`s be honest. As my daughters and my dad`s voices came closer to the house, I caught a glimpse of my face in the hallway mirror and panicked that it was more than bleeding obvious that the red circles on my cheeks were a result of activities other than me putting way too much blusher on them. I cursed because my father was going to see right through me in a matter of seconds. Eventually, I opened the front door.

I was right. Charlie hugged and kissed me on those flamed cheeks and asked if I was alright because I looked hot. Before a word of explanation could leave my mouth, Edward closed the bathroom door and stood in front of my father. Dad took in Edward`s form, scanned the damp spots on his shirt and face - the evidence of cold water having been used to get rid of the `faraway` dreamy look and shook his hand. I knew I had been caught red handed. The guilty look on our faces and the crumpled clothes gave us away.

Thank God for the children though. They were so excited to have their Granddad and Edward in the same room that they didn`t know which one to smile and cling to first. They dissolved the awkwardness of the situation and we even had a cup of coffee together before Edward had to go.

My dad was over to do Christmas shopping. Yeah, I know, my father actually drove all the way to Seattle to buy a couple of presents and Christmas decorations! Could it be more out of character?! I had a sneaky suspicion that he wanted to spend some time with two small girls who turned him into the soft and mellow man that I had always suspected him to be.

"Dad, I have a couple of ideas where we could go for the decorations. And what about the gifts? Who do you need to buy for?"

"Just Sue, really. I think I`ll disappear on my own for a while too, you know to the `_tee oh wy` _store," he faintly motioned at the girls and winked at me. _The T.O.Y. store, sure._

"Anything in particular in mind for Sue?"

"No, that`s why I`m here, hoping you`ll help me with this one. I want it to be… special…" he said with a sigh.

_Special? Oh, does he mean special because he`s planning something unusual this Christmas? Don`t tell me my dad wants to… propose to Sue?_

I knew that sharing something of personal nature never came easy to my dad. And uttering the word "special" in connection with his lady was like shouting "sex" or something similarly blush evoking when it came out of his mouth. So later on when the four of us went to the mall, I couldn't shake a smirk off my face thinking that I was most like going to have a stepmother soon…

_Yay, I`m gonna have two mommies!_

I kept stealing glances of my father`s face as he sniffed the perfumes and asked Rachel and Sophie their opinion. My little ducklings winced, twitched their noses and shook their heads at the scents with expert looks on their faces and I giggled watching my dad and children in their Swan bubble. The sale people thought the girls were adorable and funny helping their Granddad. I heard that my husband and I must be just about the luckiest people on Earth with two angels like them. I thanked them and caught myself thinking about Edward. None of those strangers knew that I was single so I pretended that my husband was at work and our daughters and I were Christmas shopping for our family… It felt amazing. My stomach filled with warmth and fuzziness every time I touched a decoration and thought that we could put it on _our_ Christmas.

"Are you alright, Bells?" Every now and then my dad would catch me twisting a bubble in my hand and dreaming.

"I`m fine, yeah, sorry. I`m, I`m OK," my head would snap and I would give my dad the `of course I`m fine` look.

"You just seemed to be far away for a minute there…" He would comment and walk away.

_Looks like we`re both engrossed in our own reveries today._

The girls were having a great time running around the stores, touching the tinsel, Santa figurines, reindeer, snowmen and all sorts of Christmassy things. It was the first Christmas in my new house too so I was quickly filling my bags with colorful, sparkly, shiny little things. The kids were in their element. They couldn`t believe how much stuff we were buying and that they were allowed to choose many of them themselves. I frowned at some of their choices, but hey, it was _their_ Christmas in _their_ new home as well. I was going to make sure to take photos of the tacky decorations that made their way into our basket on their request. I would rub it in their cute little faces in years to come, haha!

After over two hours of cruising through boutiques and the mall my head was getting tired of the season`s songs and bells jingling at every corner, so we took a break and went to a cozy coffee shop for some juice and muffins. That`s when Charlie seized the moment. He told us he was going to put our purchases away into the car while we waited for him enjoying the refreshments. I knew he dashed into the toy store. We had talked about that special doll house that Santa Charlie was going to bring the girls. I knew he would get it fast and be back soon. I got a text message from Edward asking if we were enjoying ourselves. He also said he missed me a lot and was hoping that I wasn`t in too much trouble with my daddy over what he had undoubtedly discovered about us. I keyed in that he owed me for leaving me alone with the guilt. He replied that we would make it up to me, accompanied by w few winking faces. Hmm… After reading another text `Big kisses for both sets of twins, Sophie and Rachel, and those luscious twins on you beautiful chest` I accused him of making my face redder than Rudolph`s nose. 

Back home after dinner the girls were exhausted and fell asleep in no time. My dad gave them goodnight kisses and came downstairs where he stood in the kitchen doorway watching me finish cleaning up.

"Ooooh," I yawned. "I`m wrecked. It was a great day though. I can`t believe the amount of decorations we got. Are you happy with what you bought?" I cocked my head thinking about the gifts intended for Sue.

"Yeah, I think so," he said shuffling his feet awkwardly.

"She`ll love both the necklace and the perfumes, Dad. Is there any particular reason for getting something special as you said?"

We walked into the living room, Charlie with beer and I with a glass of wine.

"Um…," he was looking for the right words tracing the letters on the can, "I feel I haven`t been too attentive recently. I just wanted to make up for it, that`s all."

I tried to put on an uninvolved observer`s mask, "Dad, no judgement, just information. What makes you think that you haven`t been the way you should have?"

"I don`t know, Bells. It just doesn`t feel like it used to. I think I have to get my act together."

I didn`t quite understand what he meant and didn`t want to interrogate my own father, a chief of police nonetheless, so one last try and I would be done.

"Do you wanna tell me more?"

"No, there`s nothing to tell, everything is fine. Sue has been busy on the reservation and I`ve been working a lot and haven`t been making time for her… It`ll be alright."

"OK."

_That`s all I can do for the time being._

I couldn`t help but smile at my earlier thoughts though, "You know, Dad, when you said you wanted something special for Sue I thought you were going to buy an engagement ring…"

Charlie laughed, "An engagement ring? Bella, do you know me at all, baby?"

"Why not?"

"Firstly, I have been married before and secondly, at my age? C`mon!"

"C`mon, what? Age has nothing to do with it, Dad. People get married in their eighties and nineties!"

"You may be right, but that`s just not me. You on the other hand are a different story. Should I pull out info about this Edward Cullen myself or will you tell me more about him?"

An instant blush. You`d think that only teenagers crushing on their handsome neighbors or teachers would blush. Yeah, check again.

_Great, Bella. You`ve just answered all of your father`s questions, including the ones he wouldn`t have dared asking._

The preparations for the charity ball were going well. Alice was working on a beautiful dress for me. Her eyes sparkled and she had this child like excitement in her movements and voice just talking about it. She has her own special way of making things turn out the way she wants them to and before I knew it, I had agreed to her final idea – a pair of stilettos and a long evening gown, olive and gold in color, made of silk and satin. I swear this woman should dress stars for the red carpet. The only time I opposed was upon learning that the gown was going to be backless. I had my doubts about flaunting my bare back to all the doctors and their wives while I weren`t even one of them. Alice twitched her nose, pouted her lips, tapped her foot on the floor and decided that OK, she would rise the back of the gown a couple of inches, but that`s all. I would wear my hair loose so it would cover my shoulders and most on my back, giving just a little glimpse of what the doctors wouldn`t get from me, as she put it. Yet again, I said `yes`. Weird things had been happening lately, my getting excited about wearing some fancy attire again being one of them. Though I had to admit, it wasn`t about the dress and the ball, it was about Edward.

I was going to ask Maggie to look after the girls, but Alice insisted on babysitting them herself. I had yet to master the art of remaining strong under the influence of her lovely smile and faultless persuasive skills so it didn`t surprise me when my resistance crumbled and the words of acceptance left my lips. What made Alice additionally happy was that I bought sets of plain white bed sheets for Rachel and Sophie and all three of them were allowed to go crazy with fabric paints and markers (yes, markers…).

Jasper and Hugo brought Alice over to my place in the evening. While the twins were showing Hugo their bedroom and toys and Alice joined them upstairs, Jasper stayed in the kitchen to help me get a pot of tea and some snacks ready for us before his wife would prepare me for the big event.

"Nervous, Bella?"

"Could you tell?" I joked smiling at him.

"You seem collected at the moment. Alice has been all over the place with this ball though, she`s incredibly excited. She wanted you and her brother together and she`s kind of getting it, isn`t she?" He winked at me.

I rolled my eyes, "It`s still early days, but we have a `thing`, no point in denying it," surprisingly straightforward answer left my mouth.

"Tell me something I don`t know," Jasper smiled crookedly and it reminded me of Edward.

"You know Edward well."

"We`ve been best friends for about sixteen years. I know this and that. Anything you would like to learn about him?"

"No." I freaking blushed again. "I`ll find it all out myself in the end."

"That`s the best way," Jasper offered and I agreed.

"Do you think Alice will be OK looking after the girls? I told her time and time again that I would ask my young neighbor; she`s really great and Sophie and Rachel love her, but your wife… "

"If Alice wants something, Alice gets it, even if it takes years, Bella. And I should know," he said pointing at himself. I nodded in agreement.

"Oh, I believe you. I know that much already. But tonight she wants to run after not one but two little girls. Is it not too hard for her?" I shrugged off an image of pregnant Alice literally running after Rachel and Sophie around the house, sweating and holding her belly, unable to catch a breath.

"Is she says she`s fine, then she`s fine, Bella. I`ll stay here with Hugo until his bedtime and then I`ll check on her often, OK?"

"OK. But like I told you, you are more than welcome to stay in one of the guest rooms, Jasper. Please, remember that."

"Thank you, Bella, but I`m gonna put Hugo to bed and work on an article for the uni," he began and then he added in hushed voice, winking at me, "in peace." I laughed and imagined poor Jasper trying to produce a piece on the American Civil War and Alice dancing around him and chatting about her new designs at the same time.

"Alright."

"She`s a big girl, Bella. And now that Rose is expecting after all these years, it feels like Alice is even happier and bouncier if that`s at all possible."

"I cannot tell you how delighted I am for Rosalie and Emmett," I admitted earnestly.

"So am I. Especially Rose. You know, before she met Em, she didn`t have it easy."

I must have frowned and looked surprised because Jasper studied my face for a few seconds before whispering, "She used to be with this really rough guy. From what I know he abused her and what not. She was so dependent on him emotionally that she covered for his antics for much too long. Even her parents didn`t realize how bad things were until she landed in a hospital beaten up and with a broken nose."

"Oh my God, Jasper," I covered my mouth with a shaky hand, "I had no idea."

The man before me sighed and unclenched his fists. Anger that flashed through his face while he told me about Rose`s past experiences showed me one thing, Jasper was as protective of his wife`s sister-in-law as much as he was of Alice herself. What a man, I thought. He reminded me of the time when Emmett told me that Edward was fiercely protective of me and my daughters. I couldn`t even name the feelings it filled me with. Now seeing such concern and sincerity in Jasper`s eyes I dreamed that maybe one day I could be a part of a family like the Cullens.

"I`m sorry, I probably shouldn`t have told you on a night like tonight. It won`t change the past so just enjoy the ball and I`m sure Alice or Edward will tell you more another day."

"Thank you, Jasper. Let`s just celebrate the good times now and hope everything goes well and Rose and Emmett have the cutest little bundle soon."

We both nodded and smiled, just in time for Alice to enter the room with the kids. We all had a cup of tea and mini canapés. Then Alice snatched me away for the ball preparations.

Jasper played games with the kids downstairs and from what I was hearing, all four of them were having a blast and their laughter meshed like a lovely choir of joy. Alice had offered her help with my hair and makeup but little did I know how good she was! Her hands moved around me quickly and skillfully. I had a chance to look at her face closely. My God, was she beautiful! Her deep blue eyes seemed to look right into my soul whenever they met my own. Her long dark lashes and brows were perfectly sculpted, her skin flawless and radiant; pregnancy probably even helped it. And her hair growing was longer, hugging her face with shiny softness. I remembered Emmett`s handsome face, with big bright blue eyes like his sister`s and a winning smile, completely different to Edward`s, but equally dazzling.

_They all look like they`ve been cut out from some exclusive magazine. _

Halfway through my transformation we heard Edward`s taxi outside. Jasper opened the door and both Alice and I laughed at the sounds downstairs. Edward clearly got attacked by three young, excited people.

"Bella, your prince is here!" Jasper shouted up the stairs and must have been elbowed or something by Edward because he muffled a pained laugh. The kids didn`t hold their own laughter in and Alice and I reacted in the same way in my bathroom.

"Hi, Bella, Alice!" That was Edward. I imagined him leaning against the banister.

"Hi, Edward!" I shouted back from my spot, though God knows how much I wished I could fly down and into his arms.

"We`ll be there in a minute. Be patient!" Alice called out.

"You always say `a minute` when you mean `an hour`, baby!" Jasper teased his wife.

"Ask Hugo what they say in "Toy Story 2", you can`t rush art! I love you!" his wife replied.

"I love you, too!" We heard from Jasper and we all laughed. These two are just too cute.

A while later I barely recognized myself in the mirror. I thought I would never match the beauty of this family but I was amazed at what Alice had done to my appearance and hoped Edward would appreciate it, too.

We didn`t take as long as Jasper had predicted. I descended the staircase twenty minutes later. Alice ran downstairs and gathered everybody at the bottom of the stairs. I decided to put my shoes on before going down this time and could only pray that Edward got to see me in one piece.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head when I saw the whole party gaping at me as I got closer to them. They even "woohoo-ed" and whistled at me!

I caught Sophie and Rachel`s faces. They looked at me in awe. Their mouths were wide open and their eyes sparkled with excitement.

"Guys, it`s like prom all over again," I confessed, only to be answered by chuckles.

"Mommy is a princess!" Sophie shouted out and I gave her and Rachel a big squeeze. They were proud of me and it made the effort even more worthwhile.

Truth be told, I _did_ feel special, particularly standing in front of Edward with the trademark crooked smile on his gorgeous face and a twinkle in his green pools. He wore a dark brown suit. I should have known that Alice would make us match.

"You look stunning," he said and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek. I blushed instantly.

"Hey…" was all I could manage to whisper, with his presence enveloping me yet again.

If there was a chance that I looked stunning, as he put it, then the only word to describe him was "otherworldly".

Alice`s squeaking and Jasper`s throat clearing woke us both. I took a few minutes to go over the plan with Alice, then the girls got their last hugs and kisses and Edward and I disappeared in the cab.

I knew there would be dancing involved and couldn't wait to feel Edward`s arms around me. I was worried about his parents and Carlisle`s colleagues. Carlisle was kind and professional, I knew that much from the time when the girls had chickenpox, but I didn`t really know him privately. And Esme? I wasn`t sure I would even recognize her, having met her only once previously in a dimmed restaurant. What would they think of me? What would they think of Edward bringing me to the ball? His seeing me outside of the hospital was a private matter and nobody had to know what kind of a "ship" we had, but this was a very special occasion.

Edward took me by the hand and led us inside. I felt a bit out of place but kept telling myself that I was a big girl and could do it.

I was introduced to some of Edward`s colleagues and I looked around. The event was held in a ballroom in an elegant hotel. There were six chairs at each table and Edward and I walked to our one. People were still flowing in and the place was buzzing with jokes and laughter.

"Would you like something to drink?" Edward asked me when we sat down.

"Maybe just a glass of water, please. Thank you," I answered, offering him a quick smile.

He waved at a blond man in the crowd and told me that something needed his attention backstage for a minute. I said I would be absolutely fine alone for a while.

Moments later I heard a female voice behind me, "Hello."

It was resonant, bell-like. I turned around and faced a smiling face with large blue slash green eyes and caramel hair.

_Esme. _

Carlisle stood right beside her, also with a smile brightening his handsome features.

I rose from my chair.

"Bella, how are you?" Carlisle took my hand in both of his and places a kiss on the back of it, "Do you remember my wife Esme?"

"Of course, Doctor Cullen. Mrs. Cullen, it`s great to see you again. Good evening," I nodded at Edward`s mother and she squeezed my hand.

"Please, Bella, call me Carlisle, remember?"

I smiled and nodded.

"And I`m Esme. Sit down, darling, no need for standing up," Esme ushered me to sit and scanned the room. "I sure hope that my son had a legitimate excuse for leaving you alone here, dear," she added while taking the chair beside me, to my right.

"He got called backstage for a minute. It`s not a problem, really."

"Bella," Carlisle said as he sat next to his wife, on the other side, "you are too good to him. And look, he left you here alone with a glass of water."

I let out a short laugh, "I actually asked for water, Carlisle. It`s OK."

"Alright, if you say so, love. Well, how are you anyway? And your beautiful girls? Edward says they recovered from the chickenpox very quickly."

"They did. The spots disappeared as quickly as they popped. It only took a few days."

"Wonderful."

"And yourself, Bella?" This time it was Esme asking. "Edward tells me you are a book editor. It sounds so fascinating."

"It is indeed, thank you. I have always been quite an `in my head` person, I have to say. My mom used to be a preschool teacher and she wanted me to explore my imagination. I was surrounded by music, pictures and books. Written words fascinated me and it`s been like that ever since."

"Meant to be," Esme smiled and I reciprocated.

"Yes."

"It looks like we are like-minded people then. I worked in a library for a couple of years as a young girl and I enjoyed it immensely."

"Oh, look who`s here!" Carlisle exclaimed suddenly. Esme and I followed his eyes. Edward was walking over to our table with an apology on his face.

"Hi, everybody. Mom, Dad, how are you? Bella, I`m terribly sorry, I needed to take care of something."

"No problem," I smiled and nodded, glad to have him back.

He sat on my left and the fabric of his jacket brushed against my bare shoulder. I shivered.

"Are you cold?" Edward`s whisper tickled my ear and neck. I shivered again.

"No, no, not at all,"

_It`s just you setting me on fire!_

I wanted to look away from him before I would combust, only to be met by his mother`s eyes. Her lips twisted in a subtle smile but her eyes were thinking, observing. Carlisle seemed excited about the night.

"How old are your girls exactly, Bella?" Esme asked.

"Two point seven. They were born on May the fourth."

"Oh, a wonderful age," Esme gushed, "Little explorers."

I chuckled, "They know they`re not babies anymore but not quite big girls yet. A bit like teenagers."

"That`s right!" She exclaimed, "I have only seen them once, Bella but I can tell you honestly, they are two cutest and sweetest little girls I have met."

"Thank you, Esme. You would be surprised what cheeky monkeys they can be sometimes," I raised my brows and she let out a short laugh.

"But of course! You wouldn`t want them to be passive and never pose a challenge. You wouldn`t even know they were there!" She laughed.

"True," I agreed earnestly.

"In the jungle that our world is we all need to be cheeky monkeys from time to time."

We all chortled.

"Carlisle? Esme? What a lovely surprise!" An excited woman about the Cullens` age hugged Edward`s mother. Her husband nodded at me politely and shook hands with Carlisle.

"And Edward is here, how wonderful! Handsome as ever!" The woman ran her hand down Edward`s arm and then her eyes fell on me.

"Jennifer, Mark, this is Bella. Bella, this is Doctor Mark Grady and his wife Jennifer," Edward took the lead in introducing us. Something in his eyes didn`t add up. I couldn`t decipher why but I suspected that the Cullens weren`t exactly the happiest people sharing the table with the Gradys. It looked like we were stuck together for a few hours though. It didn`t bother me personally but the Cullens` discomfort was quite prominent.

Mrs. Grady sat to Edward`s left and since the tables were round, she faced me almost directly.

"Tell me how you are, Edward. How is work?" She threw me a glance and Edward answered kindly that everything was great.

"And I hope Lauren is doing well?" He returned the question.

"Oh, she`s doing very well! She`s a busy mom of three adorable boys now. She`s involved in their school and preschool activities, organizing play dates and coffee mornings with other moms. She is actually at a charity event tonight with her husband, a financial advisor," she finished raising her brows as high as they could go, watching Edward`s face.

"That`s good. I`m glad she`s well. Please, send her my best," he responded.

"Of course, thank you," I heard Mrs. Grady say and I noticed yet another person coming to a stop behind us.

"Carlisle! Edward!"

"Gary! How are you?" Carlisle smiled brightly.

"Very well, thank you. Mrs. Cullen?" The young guy looked at Esme and she greeted him.

"Bella, this is Doctor Gary Hobson. He and Edward studied medicine together. Gary, meet Edward`s Bella," Carlisle motioned to me.

Gary took my hand, "Bella… That`s a very appropriate name. It`s nice to meet you. I can`t believe Edward`s been keeping you secret but at the same time I can understand why." He kissed the back of my hand. I swear I could feel Edward stiffen next to me. "I am not trying to impose," Gary continued, "but I insist on a dance later on, Bella."

"It will be my pleasure," I managed to articulate, wishing for a hole in the floor to swallow me.

The lights dimmed and Gary scooted off to his table. He was a hot guy, I admit. Tall, with dark hair, lovely voice, warm hands, and a sparkle in his… green eyes. Green eyes… Edward`s eyes…

"Bella," Edward`s hand covered mine on the table. His lips neared my ear and I fought off another shiver, "You can be saved if you don`t wish to dance with Gary."

"Oh, I don`t mind, really," I turned to him and found his face just a couple of inches from mine, "But tell me, is he a surgeon?"

"Uhm," Edward nodded, curious where I was going with it.

"Good," I whispered, still feeling his fingers between mine, "He can reattach his own toes after dancing with me," I finished with a serious face. Edward laughed out laud. I looked around nervously sure that people were probably staring at our table at the moment. While I, on impulse, pulled my hand out of his embrace, he instinctively clutched it tighter and it looked like I ripped my own hand from his. His hand followed mine and we ended up tipping over my glass of water, spilling the contents on my dress.

_Oops! Shit, shit!_

Edward sobered up instantly and whispered frantically, "My God, Bella, I`m so sorry!"

I didn`t know whether to panic and start shouting that it was just my stupid luck again, or laugh, or cry or just run out of the venue. The night was just about to begin. There would be presentations, dinner, dancing, talking, walking around the room, very likely being introduced to more of Edward an Carlisle`s colleagues and I was going to look like I peed on my dress! And of course Alice was going to hang me, about that I had no doubts. Yeah, I guess I was panicking slightly.

Edward looked terrified and I must have looked the same but then I felt a soft tug on my right shoulder.

"Come with me, dear," Esme`s voice echoed in my ear.

Seconds later our two figures moved swiftly between the tables in the dim room. I faithfully followed my savior to the ladies` room.

"Oh, my, I`m so sorry, Esme. I just wanted to…"

"Shhh. It`s OK, Bella," she said calmly and closed the door behind us. We were alone in the restroom and Esme pulled some tissues out of the paper dispenser. I started dabbing and pressing them on the dress. She motioned me towards the hand dryer and I moved as if on cue.

"Just my luck." There, I had to voice it!

"Darling, it`s just water. We`ll sort it out," she soothed me, running her hand down my arm and squeezing my wrist in comfort.

I moved my hands frantically over the wet fabric.

"Esme, thank you, but you should go back. I`m spoiling your night and I`m so sorry," I said with my tear-filled eyes fixed on my dress.

"Spoiling my night? Bella, don`t be silly."

"I`m just clumsy…" I rubbed the fabric again.

_Why is this dryer so high up? _

"Bella," Esme`s warm hand stopped mine, "Look at me, please."

I breathed in and looked up.

She smiled, "That`s it, in and out, in and out. Good girl, breathe in… and breathe out…" she made puffing noises with me and a tiny fraction of tension left my body, "And dabbing is better than rubbing, it won`t spoil the fabric," she pointed at my hand on the dress.

"I just wanted it to be great for…-"

"But darling, it _is_ great!"

"Alice is going to be so disappointed," I lamented, not really absorbing what Esme was saying. "This dress your daughter`s work, from the image to the last stitch," I smiled and Esme`s eyes glistened.

"Wait here," she ordered and busted out the door.

I looked in the mirror. My face was a bit damp with a couple of escapee tears, my eyes a little puffy.

There was a commotion outside the restroom door and Edward`s mother paraded in wearing her gorgeous evening gown and carrying a wooden chair.

"Sit down for me, please."

My shaken state changed into curiosity and I obliged. As I sat, I looked down at the area where the big splat of water had been and saw a fading clear stain.

"You are as pale as the rest of us Cullens," I heard as Esme took out some cosmetics from her purse. She checked the shade of the powder like a pro and smirked victoriously to herself, then she dabbed some around my eyes. She even put an extra layer of mascara on my lashes, separating the damp ones.

"You know," she said as she worked, "I remember the first time Carlisle took me to an event like this, almost four decades ago. I spilt a glass of red wine on my beautiful green dress that my mother and I had bought together. She wanted me to look like the queen of the night and that dress was way out of my financial reach, so she gave me half of the money and told me to thank her later…" Esme chuckled to herself at the memory.

I felt the cool of the eye liner and Esme`s soft hand brushing lightly against my cheek as she continued, "That day I left the library where I worked earlier and Carlisle brought me to his parents` house for tea and biscuits before the ball. His mother who was one of the warmest and most wonderful women on Earth helped me change into my green dress and Carlisle and I set off for the night. I was going to meet his friends and colleagues and it was a truly terrifying prospect. Just as the evening began I managed to trip and the full glass of red wine landed on my satin attire. I was devastated. Instantly I started crying and ran to the ladies` room. I was sure I would never leave that room again! My expensive dress was ruined and I imagined Carlisle utterly disappointed and the whole party laughing themselves silly at me. But then in came this woman, a doctor`s wife, who wanted to help. Carlisle was going to bring me to my apartment after the ball and my daytime dress was in his car so that lady and I decided that I should wear that other dress and cry over the spilt milk, in that case, wine, later. So I changed into my day dress, fixed my makeup and danced my night away with Carlisle! Later he told me how proud he was of me and how his colleagues envied him such a smiley girl. And as for the dress, he said that maybe one day I would allow him to buy me a new one, as pretty as my wine-stained one, maybe long and white and with a veil…"

Esme finished her sentence quietly, as if something was clutching her throat.

"He proposed to me then."

I was gobsmacked and the only word that left my mouth was a quiet "Wow."

"My Mom wanted me to be the queen of the night in that dress. I didn`t wear the green dress but I _was_ the queen of the night that night; in my apartment, with Carlisle, for the first time… OK, I`m saying too much now," she giggled again, embarrassed that she had forgotten she was telling her story to a stranger.

My heart fluttered. Her story resembled mine in many ways. Did she think that Edward and I…? OK, now it was turn for _my _cheeks to blossom.

When my makeup satisfied Esme, I looked down at the dress once more and couldn`t even see the outline of the offensive blob. My dress was dry and perfect. I stood up and looked in the mirror. Esme packed the cosmetics into her purse.

"You look so lovely, Bella. Alice put a lot of heart into this dress and it shows but it wouldn`t be half as beautiful as it is if it wasn`t worn by _you_."

"Thank you, Esme."

"You`re welcome," she nudged me towards the door, "And tell that son of mine to keep his hands to himself until the end of the party, because that was his fault."

"Oh, no, it was mine, really-!"

"Bella," she whispered conspiratorially and her beautiful eyes met mine, "It`s _always_ the guy`s fault," she winked and we sneaked between the tables in the dark room.

We sat back down and Edward`s hand instantly found mine between our chairs, "Are you alright? I`m such an idiot. I`m sorry, Bella."

"I`m OK, don`t worry. The dress is fine, Alice will spare me."

"Phew," he chuckled again and after giving my hand a squeeze, he let go of it.

A few minutes later a few doctors were presented with awards for their loyal and excellent service to the community. When Carlisle`s name was called out, he smiled, kissed Esme on the lips and walked to the stage. Edward looked so proud and I thought how much I would give to see my parents kiss, no matter how creepy that sounds. It pained me because just as I never saw closeness between my Mom and Dad, my children were in the same position, they would never see me affectionate with their father.

Carlisle gave a short but heartfelt speech, telling us all how he started out working in a hospital, however with the arrival of his own children he understood that although he loved being a doctor, being a husband and a dad were higher on the list and with the encouragement from his amazing wife he entered the world of family practice. To this day he has never regretted that decision and taking care of second and third generation of some families has been bringing him unending personal pleasure and professional satisfaction. None of this would have happened though he said, if not for the continuous great love and inspiration that his wife and their children, together with their own growing families now, have been throughout the years.

I could feel the others glancing at our table as Carlisle spoke of Esme, Edward and his siblings. And for some reason I didn`t feel the odd one out. Edward reached out behind me to squeeze his Mom`s shoulder and whilst withdrawing, he swiped his hand across my back and shoulders as well. I automatically gasped quietly and looked at him. He smiled at me and his eyes were filled with happiness and pride.

We enjoyed a couple of comedians telling jokes and anecdotes about doctor`s life. I liked how the doctors laughed at themselves, it made them look more real and human to me.

More conversations followed, along with dinner and wine. The Gradys were lovely people, although Jennifer seemed a bit of a show off and for a good while she monopolized the chat telling us stories of events she had attended and parties she`d organized. Oh yes, and she was `awfully sorry` that Esme couldn`t accompany her at most of them. I probably wouldn`t want to go to events with Mrs. Grady either but I had to admit, to me for an evening with strangers, she was a nice one.

Esme declined red wine and I smiled at her. She winked. Edward and his father looked at us curiously, but Esme claimed an `inside joke` and I felt like I belonged.

And then we danced. The moment we heard music playing, Edward asked me to do him the honor. The piece was slow and we began gently and subtly. There were only a few more couples around us. As more brave dancers joined in, Edward pulled me closer. His fingers traveled to my back, tangled in my hair and then they glided along the bare skin on my shoulders and back. I nearly died and went straight to heaven. An involuntary whimper escaped my mouth and into Edward`s chest and neck. I could feel him tighten for a second and it sobered me up. I looked up and into his eyes. They were black.

"Shall we sit down?" I begged with my eyes.

"Yes, please," he exhaled and let go of me.

We walked back to the table where Esme and Carlisle were conversing with a female friend while the Gradys danced. Carlisle claimed me straight away and Edward said he needed to make a phone call outside and he`d be back in a minute.

I never called myself a dancer, let alone a good one, but with my recent dancing partners I have to admit I wasn't the worst in the world. Carlisle led gently but confidently. He made me feel special and safe.

"Are you enjoying yourself, Bella?"

"I am, very much, thank you. It`s an honor to be here tonight, Carlisle. And congratulations again on your award. No wonder my girls recovered from chickenpox so quickly. They were treated by the best doctor in town," I smiled and winked.

"I appreciate it, Bella but I`m not sure I`m exactly the best-"

"Let me just tell you that I can`t imagine anyone else looking after my children now. You and Edward _are_ the best."

He smiled and thanked me.

We sat back down and after another ten minutes, Edward reappeared. He nodded at me but his hands didn`t venture near mine.

As Dr. Gary Hobson led me to the dancefloor, an upbeat song began and I caught Carlisle and Esme`s smiles as we danced beside each other. It was great!

It was half past one in the morning when we left the hotel. Edward and I took a taxi to my house but we got off a couple of blocks away so we could walk the rest of the way and talk.

"I really enjoyed tonight, Edward. Thank you for bringing me with you," I said as we watched the car drive away.

"The pleasure is all mine. And Gary`s, I suppose," he laughed.

I chuckled as well, "He _is_ a nice guy, you know."

"Oh, I know that! If he weren`t married to a woman he is crazy about, I would have had to step in though," he flirted.

"Would you now?" I flirted back. The tension between us was thick and my heart hammered. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Is doctor Grady`s daughter Lauren your ex or something?" I looked at him boldly.

"Wow, you`re good, Bella! Yes, Lauren and I used to go out and it got serious at some point but it didn`t work out. It`s a very old story."

"I figured it`s old since she has three kids already, but it`s still a bit uncomfortable for you and your parents it seems…"

"My God, nothing escapes you!" he smiled broadly, "I noticed Jennifer and Mark`s names on the tags on our table and tried to change the arrangements backstage."

"That`s why you left at the beginning?"

"Yes. We were supposed to be seated with different people but there was a mix up and it was too late to change it back. My parents felt uneasy, probably because Jennifer is a type of woman who holds grudges and goes over the same thing again and again. Mom and Dad were worried about what she might say to you."

"She would be comparing me to her daughter to make you see what you lost by not being with Lauren anymore?"

"Precisely."

"Don`t worry about it. I can stand up for myself if necessary and I wouldn`t have fed her insecurities but I`m curious about you and Lauren," I flashed a smirk at his pretty face and he winced.

"I`ll tell you one day, let`s not spoil tonight."

"I`ll hold you to it."

We were walking down my street and I longed to be alone with him, to feel his green eyes locked with mine and his breath in my ears and sending shivers down to all the places in my body that I never knew existed. I longed to smell his masculinity, his fresh skin and clothes. I longed to feel the touch of his fingers in my hair again and on my naked shoulders. I longed to taste his tongue in my mouth…

"I`m really sorry about the water spill, that was totally my fault," he said.

"Water spill?" I was genuinely surprised, "Oh, that one! No problem. You were just holding my hand and I whipped it out. If there is anyone to blame, it`s me."

"OK, neither of us is willing to give in, so how about sharing the guilt? And keeping it secret from my sister? I really don`t want to be in trouble with her for any damage to the dress," he winced at me and folded his palms together as in a prayer.

I laughed, "Deal."

It was nearly two in the morning and my neighbors seemed to be asleep so I stopped mid-road and reached up to Edward`s lips. Immediately he scooped me up and I got what I wanted so much; his warm mouth on mine. I found the tip of his tongue and sucked on it greedily. He grunted and pressed me to his body. Our coats were open and my hands were sneaking underneath his suit jacket. He crushed me to himself and I thought I could faint feeling his manhood through his pants. My hand flew down to it.

"Bella, no…" he breathed out and looked at me, "It`s not exactly the best time…" he motioned around me.

"Shit, I attacked you in the middle of the street. I`m sorry, Edward!"

_My God, did I really do that? _

"Alright, sweetheart. It`s just that… it`s already happened once tonight," he made a funny grimace and I could bet a lot of money that he was blushing. It was too dark to see it though.

"On the dance floor?"

"Uhm," he agreed and we both looked away embarrassed. "I didn`t need to sit down or make a phone call. Just had to… splash some water on my face again."

I laughed out loud and covered my mouth praying that my neighbors or in fact, my daughters, wouldn`t hear me.

Edward took my hand and kissed my fingertips. Watching him do that and feeling each single touch of his lips spreading electric current from the tips of my fingers to the tips of my toes and everywhere in between, I moaned and my eyes lolled back.

Edward`s head snapped up, "What, I`m kissing your fingers and you`re…?"

"You may be kissing my fingers, Edward, but you`re doing it so fucking sensually that I can barely take it…"

He lowered my hand down to my side very slowly.

"Say something, Edward, anything…I mean something…" I was desperate to find the right words.

"Unerotic?"

"Is that even a word?"

"I don`t know, but we can discuss it."

"Will I see you in a couple of days? Next week?" I shot at him.

"I`m very busy next week but I`m sure we will, even if for lunch."

"Busy schedule? Special surgical Christmas offers?"

"Well, there`s this other charity thing that I do every year before Christmas with some people from the hospital," he said.

"What thing, Edward?" I asked curious.

"There`s this coffee shop near the hospital and every year the doctors and nurses bake cakes and brew tea and coffee there for a week. We take turns. You wouldn`t believe how many people come for a cup of tea and a piece of cake. They are mainly the patients` visitors and the employees` families. You have a chance to see your husband`s or child`s surgeon behind the counter as he`s brewing coffee for you. It`s an interesting experience for many people."

"Oh, I believe you. You doctors seem more human then, I can understand that. When do you all have time for this, though?" I wondered.

Edward smiled, "It`s not too bad. It`s only for a week and there are many of us to do it. It actually just takes about three or four hours for each of us. Our families help, too. My mom and Alice are baking cakes."

"And the shop`s owner just lets you do that?"

"His little boy was in a gruesome car crash a few years back and we put him together…"

"Say no more…"

"Uhm."

I thought for a while. "If you`d like, I could join you. I can bake, too…"

"I wouldn`t dare asking you, Bella. You`ve just done the ball," his eyes twinkled.

"I had a great time tonight and I would be happy to be a part of the coffee shop team."

"Would you really do it? I mean joining me, not the baking."

"Edward, I love baking! In fact recently I learned how to bake the French style macaroons and they are yummy! I would love to do that for the hospital!"

"All the money we make goes to the Christmas project. The patients who have to stay in the hospital over Christmas get small gifts from us and we decorate their rooms…"

"Now, "I said wiping a tear from my face, my horniness pushed aside, "There`s no stopping me, Edward. I`m doing it. I _want_ to do it!" I folded his hands in both of mine, "And I will be there with you."

He freed his hands out of my embrace and hugged me tightly. I could feel his heart beating calmly. He kissed my hair and rested his chin on top of my head.

**A question: Who can remember Kyle Chandler as Gary Hobson in the "Early Edition" series? I know it was light years ago but I absolutely loved him and still do! In one of the episodes Gary pretended to be a doctor and I put him right here in my story, as a surgeon. He was in his early thirties, just like Bella and Edward here so it works out perfectly. Of course I do not own "Early Edition" or Mr. Kyle Chandler (bother) but I love to imagine Gary Hobson being mine, haha.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi! This was going to be a really long chapter so I decided to split it into two. There simply will be more to enjoy, isn`t it great?**

**Again, thank you very much for all you support and kind words. I love to hear from you, what you like about the story, what makes you laugh or cry. And if there`s something that`s not your cup of tea here, I`m sorry! But I`d still like to know! **

**Chapter 11 BPOV**

**HO HO HO!**

Christmas was approaching fast. One night, as soon as the girls went to bed, I produced almost two hundred macaroons for the coffee shop project at Edward`s hospital. The ever so amazing Kate had made the fillings earlier on when the children were at school so my job was just to bake and sandwich the cakes. I was so happy with the result that my excitement took over and I ended up doing more than I had told Edward that I was going to.

The next day, exactly two weeks before Christmas Eve Edward picked me up from the office just before lunchtime. I pretended I didn`t see the winks and Victoria`s dramatic hand waving as she walked behind him showing him the way over to my room.

"Hi," he said smiling warmly and thanked Victoria for her help.

"Hi, handsome. How are you?" I stood up and walked to him for a quick kiss.

"Excited to see _you,_ lovely."

I sighed loudly to his contentment. I put my papers away and said goodbye to my colleagues, leaving with Edward by my side.

"I`m sorry about the looks you got in there," I said to him buckling my seatbelt in the Volvo.

"Not at all. But this Victoria was making draught behind my head, she was waving at you so vigorously," he laughed.

"You saw that?"

"I sure did!" He shook his head and I bit my lip.

"The girls in the office get very excited seeing a new man, especially Victoria, but she`s really sweet and easy going. Plus she`s a great book illustrator."

"Is she the one with this guy… James, was it?"

"Yes, the same one!"

"How are they doing?"

"Going strong," I admitted and Edward bowed.

A minute later we were at my house. Edward parked the Volvo beside my car and we went inside to get the cakes.

I suggested that he take all the boxes out of the fridge and load them into the car. I wanted to change my top.

"Bella, there are eight boxes in here altogether. Which ones are we taking?!" his voice reached me upstairs from the kitchen.

"All of them!"

"What do you mean all of them?! There are too many! I don`t wanna bring your dinner with us accidentally!"

"There`s no dinner in the boxes, Edward, just cakes for the coffee shop. Open them and check if you want to," I said lowering my voice as I walked back to him wearing a different top and pulling my hair up to clip it.

He had one lid lifted up, "My God, Bella. These are the macaroons?"

"Yes, the blackberry ones. I made lemon ones too, they`re in the other container. You see, they`re placed in there sparsely so they won`t get squashed. That`s why it looks like there`s half a million of them."

"Bella, there _is_ half a million of them in here!" He looked at me cocking his head to the side. I kissed his cheek.

"You`re very bad at maths. There are one hundred and thirty to be exact. I brought some to the office this morning and I`ve kept a few for Kate and the children. Don`t look at me like that. I told you I only learned to bake them recently and it can go either way with them, one time they would come out too hard or too sweet and the other I would give the French Ladurèe run for their money. Luckily last night they came out brilliantly, the best yet actually."

Edward was observing me and listening with a delicious enjoyment in his eyes, "Alice is definitely rubbing off on you, Bella. You`re bouncing exactly like her."

"Oh, sorry," I said embarrassed.

"No, I love it!" He leaned down to peck me on my cheek but I turned my head and his lips connected with mine.

"Mmm… yummy…" I murmured against his touch, "But we have to go now."

"Uhm… I know…" He muttered into my ear. My senses kicked into high gear instantaneously.

"So you`re not mad that I made so many macaroons?" I asked pouting like a two-year-old. He laughed against my neck.

"No, but you have been a very naughty girl, Miss Bella and one day, very soon… I`m gonna have to punish you," he added rising his eyes to mine.

I meowed like a kitten and Edward`s green pools turned dark. I rubbed my thighs as some small bits of my body craved friction. I grabbed Edward by his shirt and pulled him to me.

"Do you think we could skip the coffee shop thing," I whispered to him and his reaction showed me that he was getting as aroused as me. He glanced at me playfully.

"And having you doing all that baking for nothing? I wouldn`t dare… no matter how weak my knees are right now."

"We could go later… you know, Friday traffic can be deadly…?" I flirted and his eyes danced happily. We were on the same side. I couldn`t believe how comfortable it felt to be with Edward, joking, trifling, dallying…

All of a sudden his face dropped and he shook his head, "No, Bella, I`m sorry but I can`t do it to Gary; he`ll be there today and I promised I would bring you along. He`d be devastated if we didn`t show up."

I deciphered the code a second later and followed his suit, narrowing my eyes, "Right, we can`t do it to Dr. Hobson. He _has _to get to see me today. Let`s go!"

We both laughed and Edward reached for the boxes of cakes.

"Be careful with the large ones please, they`re heavy. There`s crème brulee in there."

"Bella?!"

"Well, if the macaroons didn`t work out I was going to make crème brulee instead, Edward. Kate even lent me her ramekins," I blabbered as I helped him carry the containers outside, "And then the macaroons came out lovely but I had all those egg yolks leftover. You know you only use whites in macaroons and I was thrilled and had all the ramekins, so…"

"Sweetheart?"

"And they really only take a few minutes to make…"

"Bella, sweetheart?!"

I snapped out and saw Edward watching me like I was a mad woman, "Sorry, you were saying?"

"You didn`t have to do it all but I`m delighted and grateful that you`re satisfied. Thank you so much," he added as we closed the car doors.

I clicked my tongue, "Well, maybe I`m just making sure that I _will_ get punished for all the naughtiness… _that_ will certainly _satisfy_ me," I finished with a grin and boldly looked outside the window.

"You will be the death of me, Bella Swan," I heard a male voice beside me and we pulled out of my driveway.

The following few hours passed quickly and busily. I met so many lovely people. The doctors and nurses doing the project that day were simply great and so much more real than those from "Grey`s Anatomy" which I happened to watch when my schedule allowed. These people were in their thirties and forties, some with family members or friends helping out. One nurse brought her sister along, another one was there with her boyfriend and one doctor was accompanied by his teenage son. The doctors and nurses did most of the serving and chatting with the customers while we, the helpers as we labelled ourselves, got busy putting the orders together. The variety of treats, both sweet and savoury astounded me. So much work had gone into making it real. Seeing these people so natural and in Christmas spirits brought tears to my eyes a few times. I caught a glimpse of Edward every now and then, talking to an elderly lady or laughing with a young couple and cooing to their baby. I was so proud, proud of him, proud of that evening and my involvement in it and above all, grateful for this breathtaking man in my life.

Edward and Gary seemed to be good buddies and I saw them exchanging some comments from a distance. Dr. Hobson was a very funny man, quite like Emmett, a decent guy. He was a paediatric surgeon and I thought it couldn`t be more perfect for him. I spent most of the time in the kitchen working alongside his Polish wife, a friendly and gentle girl. They also had twins, just a year older than my Sophie and Rachel so we had a lot in common to talk about. During his short break Edward introduced me to the owner of the coffee shop and I heard the story of this man`s boy`s courage after a drunk driver hit the side of their family car right where the little boy was sitting buckled up in his seat. He was two years old at the time and one side of his body was almost crushed completely. He spent three months in the hospital and the father was so thankful for the care that his son had received from Edward and his colleagues that he would tell the story to whoever came to his coffee shop and was willing to listen. He knew that most of his clients were visitors to someone at the hospital and one day the idea of the Christmas project was born. And now I was a part of it, too.

Later on I took a break and went to see how things were going on the other side of the kitchen. Edward was talking to a middle aged couple. He noticed me and asked if he could introduce me.

"This is Bella, the person you`ve asked about," he said to the woman while standing beside me and resting his hand on the small of my back. "She baked the macaroons and the crème brulee that you are having right now."

I looked down at their plates only to proudly discover that the lady was finishing my macaroon and her husband was tucking in the warm egg dessert.

"Hello," I said to them.

"Hello, I was just telling Doctor Cullen how delicious they are. You are a wonderful baker, Bella!"

"Thank you very much. I`m glad you`re enjoying them."

The woman scanned both of us and looked at my name tag pinned to my shirt. It said my name only, without the `Dr.` in front.

"Excuse me, but are you a physician as well?" She asked me.

"Um, no, I`m just accompanying Doctor Cullen today," I blushed and looked up at Edward.

"Oh, a girlfriend! You make a beautiful couple! You know, we are visiting our daughter who`s about to have her first baby. She needs to rest and will be staying in hospital until the little one is born. But Doctor Cullen operated on our younger son a couple of years ago and I still remember his professionalism and kindness. He`s a good man, Bella. Doctor Cullen, I hope you don`t mind my talking about you," she looked at him pleadingly.

"Of course not, Mrs. Browne and thank you."

After we closed the shop we joked and laughed and Gary even broke into "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer", which we carried on all together. I felt like a member of a new large family. Tired but elated, I got into Edward`s Volvo and yawned.

"OK?" He rubbed my hand lightly.

"I`m great, thank you. I could fall asleep right now but I`m on such a high at the same time, Edward. I`ve had so much fun. I laughed, I cried, I heard heart-breaking and heart-warming stories. It`s been extraordinary."

"You`ve been extraordinary yourself, Bella. I`m sorry I took you away from Rachel and Sophie for the evening though."

"They`re in very capable hands, don't worry. In Phoenix it used to be my mom or Phil minding them so at the start I was scared leaving them with Kate but then I saw them happy and thought that maybe they weren`t as fragile as I feared. I`m learning to let them have something apart from the life with me, although it`s hard sometimes, especially that I`m alone with them."

"I understand. I think you`re doing a fantastic job, Bella. You are such a natural. I like watching the three of you together. You are in a bubble, it`s pretty cute. But I agree that you all need a bit of space. You know, my dad always says: `if momma ain`t happy, nobody ain`t happy`. When we were younger he would make sure that Mom had time to go for coffee with a friend or take a bath without us three interrupting and disturbing her."

"Ow, nice!" I remembered the story that Esme told me at the ball and could easily picture Carlisle being so affectionate and aware of his wife`s needs. "Your dad sounds like a dream husband and father, Edward."

"Thanks."

"You`re welcome."

"And your daughters are extremely lucky having you as their mommy. Never doubt that, Bella."

I nodded and held back a tear.

"Are they gonna see their father at Christmas?" His question was faint and careful.

"No," I answered firmly, "Um…it`s…it`s difficult to talk about it, I`m sorry."

"It`s OK, a `no` is enough. You don't owe me any explanation."

"I`m just… not sure if I`m ready to share it yet."

"Baby, it`s OK," he turned and looked at me. "Bella, look at me. I mean it, it`s OK."

I nodded.

"Let me just say that I think he`s a complete fool and has no idea what he`s missing out on with you and your daughters. He`ll regret it one day."

"I don't think he will but I appreciate you saying that, Edward."

"Anytime."

"Anyway, where`s our fun, Christmassy mood gone, I wonder?!" I smiled and his face brightened up in an instant.

"Yay, that`s my girl!"

"All I have to say is, your mom`s chocolate cake is gone, Alice`s coffee cheesecake - not a crumb left, my macaroons _and_ crème brulee all gone… Who`s in trouble _now_ then, huh?!" I dished a grin and a raised brow at him. He burst out with laughter.

"Tease."

"Pardon?"

"You are a tease, Bella."

"Oh."

"I like it."

"I _know_ you do."

"Good."

"And I like being with you, Edward. I might be acting too cautious and neurotic but there have been so many changes in my life lately and my children depend on me solely. I need time to settle, I want to feel that I`m still in power if that`s OK?"

"Of course, Bella."

"But I feel safe with you. Even my children feel so safe around you. It almost scares me at times."

"I`m no threat to your relationship with them, Bella. They`re superglued to you."

"I know and I`m glad. They are my biggest dream come true. You wouldn't believe how much I`m learning from them. Children may be naïve but they are not stupid. If they do something naïve it`s because they don`t have all the information to judge a given situation differently. But they sense and understand much more than we think. I have a few really good friends and with some of them Rachel and Sophie take their sweet time. And now after the move I feared they would retreat into themselves. "

"And?"

"They observe a lot but they`re not shy. I could… I don`t know, sit on somebody`s lap and they will observe from a distance before making their own decision whether to join in or not. Come to think of it, I like that about them, they make up their own minds," I wondered to myself.

"That`s great. But you see, you give them freedom to do so. I`m sure that earns you a lot of respect from them."

"Good thought, actually."

"Uhm."

"They certainly made up their own minds and fast, about _you_! They met you at the ZOO and climbed up into your arms within minutes all the while I was trying to remember your name first!"

His laughter echoed in the car, "You are too funny, Bella. By the way, whose lap do you sit on, may I know?"

"Wh-?"

"I`m kidding, I`m kidding!" He laughed again and followed suit. "I`m sorry, what I was going to say is I love and appreciate what you and I have, Bella. And I really like Rachel and Sophie. I`m sure you know that, too. It doesn`t take any effort from me to play with them or do whatever it is that we do together. You met Gary`s wife today. They also have twins. I have met these kids on a number of occasions and I can honestly say they are cute and fun little things but after some time I feel less energy in me. It`s different with Hugo, he`s very easy going and he likes being on his own so when he stays with me we do things together, but then I can read and he`ll be sitting beside me playing with toys on his own and not a bother on him."

"Hugo is a little dream, Edward. But maybe it`s because he`s your nephew?"

"No, I don`t think so. We`re just the same type of people. And it`s the same with Sophie and Rachel. They`re younger than Hugo and there are two of them but I never lose energy around them. Do you know what I`m saying? Of course I get tired physically but emotionally and mentally we exchange energy equally. I see children as people. They are smaller and younger and all, but they are people and should be treated as individuals, the same way as adults."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, I have the same philosophy. I worked with this girl in Phoenix. She had two young daughters. They were both very sweet girls but one of them was my energy vampire. I know it`s a strange thing to say about a six-year-old child but after half an hour in her presence I felt drained. You would think that her two years younger sister would be more demanding. But that younger one, while she did need more attention and energy, she took and gave in return and I didn`t feel empty after playing with her."

"Emotional vampire," Edward wondered to himself, "I think I`ve heard that before… It`s a good way to put it. Yeah, I`m with you on that, some people you can never get enough of and some are OK just for half an hour."

"Amen to that," I chuckled.

"Amen. Let me reassure you, Bella, I`m never tired of Sophie and Rachel."

"Thank you. We are kind of a package deal…"

"I like the whole package."

"The package likes you, too," I turned to him and smiled, to which he placed his hand on mine for a tender caress.

"Speaking of the girls, I have a question regarding Christmas presents…"

"Ah, Edward, you`re too good."

"Is there anything in particular they would like, or anything that _you_ wouldn`t like them to get?"

"They love arts and crafts materials, books and jigsaw puzzles. Recently they`ve been constantly asking me about numbers and sounds."

"Great."

"Anything I wouldn`t like to see in the house? Not really. I mean, there is a lot of tacky plastic pink stuff out there but if they go through a phase like that, I`ll let them."

"Let them try all they want and choose for themselves?"

"Yeah, why not? There will be plenty to worry about when they hit their teens so some silly toys right now don`t scare me. Personally I believe in variety; good quality, educational toys and some just for pure fun and enjoyment."

"Wow, you have it all thought through. You`re a phenomenal mom, Bella."

"Oh my, that`s a big word. Thank you."

"Just being honest. I`ll be shopping for Hugo next week. He`s asked Santa for things on insects, like jigsaw puzzles and books and such. I`ll get something for Sophie and Rachel while I`m there."

"I`m sure that whatever you feel appropriate, they will love it. If I may just ask you not to spend much, because they don`t know the value of money. I know they will be as happy with the bubbles that I`m getting them as they will with the doll house that my dad has got for them."

"Are you gonna tell them that it`s from your dad or from Santa?"

"From Santa. I wanted to give my dad half of the money so we would buy it together, it`s gonna be from Santa anyway, but he wouldn`t budge. It was his own idea to get them that house and he said that the little secret would make him feel good. The children don`t need to know but he will know that the house is from him. So from me they`ll get bubbles and I know that Kate is buying play-doh. My Mom has already posted a clock and an alphabet jigsaw. They`ll be delighted."

"The look on a kid`s face on Christmas morning is the best, isn`t it?"

"That`s why we do it all, right? But I can tell you, I get the same kick out of giving as I get from looking at people`s happy faces. My dad told me that if I gave him half of the money to buy the doll house, it would take half the pleasure away from him. And he was right, I couldn`t do it to him."

"Precisely," he smiled at me crookedly and winked, "It`s a pleasure for both sides."

"You`re dazzling me again," I accused, "Are we still talking about the pleasure of giving Christmas gifts?"

"We were just seconds ago. What kind of pleasure do you have in mind, Miss Swan?" He dished me another wink and… yeah, my face heated up, surprise, surprise.

"I don`t know what you`re talking about."

"Your rosy cheeks say otherwise."

"Traitors."

"I like causing your blushing, Bella."

"Thank you, I guess… " My God, my lower lip is going to bleed out one day if I don`t stop gnawing at it! "Edward, are you in a hurry now to get home?"

"No, I`m starting work tomorrow at six a.m., but tonight I`m free."

"Do you feel like pizza with some crazy women? I mean myself and the ducklings?"

"Bella, I`m a single guy on a Friday night and you think I`d say no to an evening with three gorgeous `birds`?! I`m on my way as we speak!"

I laughed at his choice of words, "Let`s get the pizza then, just round the corner from here."

Kate was waiting for us with the little ducklings, or rather cygnets, since we`re swans. Edward and I told them all about the coffee shop and then although the three girls had eaten dinner already, they helped us with the pizza.

We said goodbye to Kate and then Sophie and Rachel asked Edward and I more question about what we did earlier in the day. They wanted to make sure that no children had been involved in the charity and they hadn`t missed out on any good times. I told them that there was no way Edward and Mommy had more fun at the coffee shop than Sophie and Rachel had in school and at the park feeding ducks and swans with Kate.

I was planning on bringing the kids up to their bedroom but they were having none of that. Rachel batted her lashes at Edward while sneaking a book about a puppy lost in snow up on his lap. I caught a glimpse of Sophie`s face, it matched the puppy`s one on the cover of the book. Edward was a goner. The two of them plunked themselves on the couch on either side of him like they had done many times before and listened to his warm voice as they sucked on their thumbs simultaneously. I sat next to Rachel, sandwiching her between myself and Edward. Halfway through the story his left arm slowly reached along the back of the couch and around my shoulders where it rested eventually, and gave the back of my neck an intimate rub.

We read two more stories and then I could feel my kiddies drifting off to sleep. Sophie was snuggled up to Edward and Rachel held on to his arm while pressing her bum into my side. I reached out for the remote and turned on the stereo. The sounds of my favorite Chopin`s nocturnes filled the room. Edward and I sat there talking about the day and listening to the girls` breathing. His hand was covering most of Sophie`s back, holding her closely to him.

My Christmas plans changed. My mom wasn`t going to be able to join us this time and Charlie had forgotten that he and Sue had been invited over to La Push to spend Christmas Day with Leah, Jacob and their boys.

Meanwhile Edward joined the girls and me for Christmas tree decorating and extended an invitation to lunch at his parents` house the day after Christmas. Rosalie and Emmett were coming from Fairbanks and of course the whole family was extremely happy and excited about Rose`s pregnancy. I felt a tad bit apprehensive about joining the whole family, especially at that time of year but Edward told me not to be silly. Esme and Carlisle had invited the people who are dear to them and their children so `of course I belonged`, to repeat his words.

The morning of Chritmas Eve Sophie, Rachel and I packed our bags and set for Forks. Before that I had spent those special times with my father only three times in the past, the first two after I had moved to Forks as a teenager and the third as a university student. I could only imagine how excited he was, especially now with Rachel and Sophie around. And I was happy to be seeing Jacob and Leah.

My girls bounced up and down as we pulled over and Charlie welcomed us by the door. His own smile was worth a thousand words. It was clear how much it meant to him to have us over. Within minutes the children had checked every nook and cranny and made the place their own and my old bedroom looked like my kids` room now. The commotion didn`t seem to bother Charlie at all and I knew he couldn`t wait to see the twins` faces the following morning when they saw the doll house.

We went for a drive and a walk around town, then had lunch in my dad`s favourite diner all the while Charlie showed off `his little princesses`. Watching him I understood that no matter how typical a tomboy a girl may be, she`ll remain royal in her father`s and grandfather`s eyes.

Like in the old times when I spent a couple years living with my dad, I cooked dinner while Rachel and Sophie gave Charlie a hand with the last touches decorating the tree in the living room. It was quite amazing to see a full size Christmas tree in my father`s house as he usually either didn`t bother at all or placed a foot long fake tree on a mantel piece. When I lived there I couldn`t be bothered either. It never made much sense to go out of our way to drag a tree into a house or put some shiny baubles or tinsel all over the place. My mom loves any kind of celebration and she would always make sure that we were ready and in adequate spirits for any special time. My dad`s ways come to me more naturally but once a woman becomes a mother, nothing in the world is more important than her child`s health, joy and laughter. Shiny, glittery, colourful things became a permanent fixture in my life in general. I liked whatever brought smiles to my daughters` faces and as it happened shiny and colourful were the very things that did the trick, although I thought of the girls as tomboys rather than your typical princesses.

Sue joined us for dinner before she headed back to La Push. We were going to meet at her daughter and my friend`s house the next day at around noon, after the children had a chance to play with the new toys. Jake rang just after Sophie and Rachel got their goodnight kisses. Making plans with him to meet the next day brought back some fun memories. The only difference was now he had a wife and two sons and I had two ducklings who were currently snoring softly in my dad`s bed. Charlie decided that we should swap and he gave us his larger bed while he slept in my old single one.

As I put the receiver down after talking to Jacob, I went downstairs where Charlie had laid out some gifts to be wrapped up. We worked together.

"It`s good to have you here, Bells."

"It`s good to _be_ here, Dad, thank you."

"How is your mom?"

"So-so. I mean, she`s really worried about Anne."

"So what`s going on with that Anne`s husband exactly?"

I sighed, "Lung cancer. It`s been serious for some time now. He`d be going up and down and Anne is finding it very hard and mentally draining not knowing what`s gonna happen next and when."

"And Renèe wanted to be there for her?"

"Yeah. Anne is one of her best friends and she only has her husband."

"I see. They don`t have kids or other relatives?"

"No. Anne never wanted kids and both she and her husband are from a little town somewhere in Illinois. Neither of them has any siblings."

"OK."

"It`s very tough. Anne is a nice lady. She always said she was scared of children, she didn't know how to understand and interact with them but she was fine around Sophie and Rachel," I said and looked for my cell. Edward would be calling soon…

Charlie smiled. "Waiting for someone to call?"

"Um… well," I grimaced and scratched my nose, as if it was gonna help! "Edward…"

"Yeah, I figured that much."

My brows rose for a second.

"I understand you two are dating?"

"I guess you can say that…"

"That`s good, Bella. I like him, he`s decent."

_Wow, my cop dad likes the guy I`m seeing! Am I missing something here?_

A nervous laugh escaped my lips, "I have to say it`s pretty unusual to hear."

"What?"

"That you like the man I`m going out with."

"I know what you`re on about. You and Martin got together when you were eighteen, Bella. Your mom and I were just a year younger when we started going out and last time I checked that didn`t work out for us too well. I told you a thousand times, I was scared that you would end up the same way."

"Pregnant too young?"

"And most possibly left alone with the child. You know I regret how things went between Renèe and I but neither of us ever regretted having you, Bella. That Martin guy though, I didn`t like him. He`d been in trouble before he laid his eyes on you. Do we really have to go over that again? I didn`t get a chance to be a proper dad to you until you were already a young woman with your own opinions and views. It was my job and my prerogative to prove to your mother that I could keep you safe and take good care of you when you came to live with me. I`d had no experience in being a father and dealing with issues and then suddenly you started going out with a boy whom I wouldn`t choose for you in a million years. But at work I learned that things aren`t always as they seem so I wanted to give Martin the benefit of a doubt. I barely knew you, Bella and while I was your father I wanted to earn your trust, so I went along with it. I decided to let you live your life and make your own choices. I saw you as a mature girl. I was hoping this Martin thing was just a phase. Renèe told me that you`d never had a boyfriend in Phoenix and I saw that Jacob and you weren`t turning into more than friends, so…"

"Whoa, Dad, I didn`t know a lot of this before… You actually asked Mom about my love life in Phoenix?"

"Just you wait till Sophie and Rachel hit their teens, Bells. You will understand a lot more."

"Oh, I understand that already! So, tell me, you liked the possibility of me breaking up with Martin?"

"I did. But then you went to college together and even moved in together. I never got to like him but the longevity of your relationship made me warm up to him a tiny bit and in the end I accepted him."

"Later on life proved you right though…"

"I know how you suffered but yes, I was glad with what happened later. I was happy that it happened early enough and not twenty years along the way."

"What`s the different about Edward now?"

"You`re both in your thirties and he`s just a good guy. You has his eyes for you, that`s pretty tough for a father to watch and admit but I do admit it, you are important to him. What won me over and was Rachel and Sophie`s love for him, Bella. I saw Edward in the restaurant on your birthday and recently in your house. Both times your daughters went crazy for him, the kisses, the hugs, the nuzzling! And he was just as eager! They were so natural with each other. If I didn`t know, I would have sworn that Edward was their father."

The words set my heart aflame. I don`t know if it`s my dad`s job that makes him more perceptive or it`s just his nature, but he was spot on. The girls and Edward could as well be a family. They had grown close so quickly, as if there were some invisible force pulling them towards each other. I could only be happy because Edward and I certainly had a pull, too, although a different kind. Somehow Charlie`s acceptance and his belief in my daughters` instincts even more than my own filled me with peace.

My phone rang suddenly and my dad motioned for me to go and have the conversation in privacy. I didn`t want to disturb the children so I lay down on the bed in my old bedroom.

"Hi there," I whispered into the receiver.

"Hi," he hushed back and it gave me tingles. "Did I wake you?"

"No," I chuckled and raised my voice a bit, "I was wrapping gifts with my dad. You?"

"I`m at work. I wasn`t supposed to be but it`s OK, I`ll get to see my family tomorrow then."

"Good. So you`ll see them both on Christmas Day and after?"

"Yeah. It`s unexpected but great. I picked up Rose and Emmett from the airport this afternoon."

I squeaked, "And? How are they? How is Rosalie?!"

I heard Edward`s laugh on the other end, "She`s great. Very tired all the time and of course I saw her after a long flight, but she has that sparkle in her eyes. And Emmett…"

"What about him?"

"You wouldn`t recognize him, Bella. He`s flying without wings! He`s completely over the moon!"

"Wonderful!"

"I know. Rose seems very careful. She didn`t want to talk about the baby that much during the drive to Mom and Dad`s house. I think she`s still in shock that she`s expecting."

"She`ll be alright. After all those years she probably feels overwhelmed. Wanting something so much for such a long time and suddenly having it are two different things. Emotions can vary from what one had expected. Let`s not forget that Rosalie is under the reign of hormones now," I joked.

"You`re right! She`ll be OK. What are your plans for tomorrow?"

"Oh, nothing`s changed. I talked to Jake about an hour ago. We`re meeting the Blacks at noon and spending the rest of the day with them. Then we`re coming back to Forks and I`ll probably hit the road after eight while the girls sleep in the car."

"So you`ll be back in Seattle at what time?"

"Hopefully before midnight, depending on the ferry. I`ve never taken this trip at night before and I`ll have the children with me so I wanna take it easy and allow extra time."

"Absolutely. Keep me posted, OK? If I can do anything, meet you halfway or something, please, let me know, Bella?"

"Thank you. And I miss you, Edward," I said honestly, with a loud sigh.

"I miss you too, and everything about you. God, I`d love to be there with you right now."

I let out a low growl, "You know my private policeman is here. Wouldn`t you be scared?"

"Shitless, forgive my French, but you, Miss Swan are way too alluring to for me to care about dangers. Your one touch is worth being shot for," he flirted and I could feel a blush covering my whole body.

"That sounds promising, Doctor Cullen. Where are you now?"

"The doctor`s room, supposed to sleep… I wanted to hear your voice first, can you blame me?"

"Not one bit."

"And where are you?"

"My old bedroom. It`s dark around, it`s just your voice and I…"

"Interesting. So, what are you wearing, Bella?"

I burst out laughing, "Excuse me?!"

"I asked what you were wearing," he stated sultrily.

I instinctively pulled my legs together and rubbed them.

"Edward, " I heard my voice getting weaker.

"OK, I`m sorry. I shuldn`t have…"

"I have a button down shirt on… and jeans…"

"Hmm, buttons…" he murmured and I held my breath. "What color is the shirt?"

"Red," I let out and felt red all over my body.

"Sexy, powerful color, Bella. And what are you wearing underneath it?"

"Oh, God. I have a bra on… A red one, too." My legs were pressing together and my breathing was picking up.

_I hope Charlie is far away and not planning on checking on me any time soon._

"Will you open your shirt for me, Bella? Very slowly… one button at a time… please," he breathed heavily into my receiver.

I was holding the phone in my right hand and my left was shaking and reaching for the first button on my shirt… I moaned as I shifted my position and Edward`s hiss reached me in response.

"Edward, tell me what you`re doing right now…" I required as my hand brushed across the bare skin around my chest. My nipples struggled in the confines of the red lace, my hips lifted up on their own volition and at that precise moment I saw my dad`s shadow moving outside the door in the hallway. Edward cursed.

"Bella, I`ve just got paged. I have to go to a patient."

"My dad`s just outside. I have to go too, I`m so sorry," I whispered and frantically closed my buttons.

"We`ll do it, baby, soon… Let me know tomorrow how you are, alright? And kiss the girls from me."

"I will. Good luck and till tomorrow, bye."

_Sweet baby Jesus, what on Earth am I doing?! My father is going to sleep in this bed and I`m acting like a teenager again! But it was fun, way too short and "inconclusive" again, but fun._

I left the room hoping that my red face and shaking hands wouldn`t give me away. Charlie was in the bathroom so I sneaked into the bedroom to check on the girls and get changed.

Later on, lying beside my children I sent a message to Edward.

`My bra is off completely now and so are other garments… There are a lot of places here that long to be touched but only you could bring them release… goodnight. B.`

Sophie and Rachel began stirring beside me just before eight in the morning. Before they woke up fully, I checked my phone and smiled seeing an unread text from Edward. I had slept through the incoming message signal.

`My God, Bella, sweetheart, if only I could be there now… I would have touched and kissed every single one of those beautiful places on you. E.`

I checked the time. He sent it at 2.15 a.m. Less than six hours later he would have been most likely still asleep, so I refrained from typing an answer for a while.

I turned around and saw Rachel`s eyes opening and focusing on me.

"Mommy?"

"Good morning, my love. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," her eyes drooped again and she struggled to keep them open. Her sister moved beside her.

"Do you need to go to the bathroom, baby?"

"No," she yawned and pulled her body closer to mine. She was warm and sleepy, it was heaven. I never wanted to give those moments away.

Sophie`s head rose up.

"Hi there, angel. How are you this morning?" I spoke softly.

Sophie mumbled something like in a dream and I stifled a chuckle. We lay like that for a minute or two until I was sure that my daughters were wide awake.

"Girls, I have an idea. How about we go to the bathroom and then downstairs to check if Santa was here earlier. What do you think?"

"Santa!" They shouted in unison. Oh yes, now I had no doubts whatsoever that they were awake! Poor things; the journey, staying over in Charlie`s house, exploring Forks and sleeping in a strange bed made them forget about Santa Claus.

It only took a minute and a half to scramble out of the bed and run to the bathroom before the three of us flew downstairs. Charlie stuck his head out of the kitchen with a mug of coffee in his hand. When he saw us, his whole face broke into a huge smile. His show was about to begin!

"Well, good morning, girls and happy Christmas!" He set the mug down and Rachel hopped into his arms.

"Gampa, Gampa, did you see Santa?"

"Mo too, me too!" Sophie bounced beside my dad and stretched up her arms. I picked her up standing next to Charlie so she could be a part of the conversation.

"No, I didn`t," Charlie said walking out of the kitchen, "But I woke up this morning and would you believe it, all the milk and cookies were gone!"

"And the carrots, too?" Sophie was curious, "Did Rudolph eat them?"

"Hi did. He ate them all, Sophie!"

We all giggled as we entered the living room.

"But look what they left for you, girls!" He said and we set the children down.

"Oh, my God," Sophie slapped her mouth theatrically and I laughed.

_Where did she learn this one?_

The girls both raced to the colourful boxes and the one from Charlie, being the largest, got attacked first. I grabbed my phone and started recording. You would easily believe that my dad was just an overgrown child as well at that moment; he was as thrilled and animated as the two-year-olds next to him.

The teddy-bear-in-the-snow wrapping paper got ripped off and both of my daughters stood there motionless for a second longer than I would normally expect them to. They carefully examined the box which was almost as tall as them and looked at the pictures on it. It surprised me. I would have thought they would open it greedily but no, my daughters like the anticipation!

_That`s something from me, definitely._

And then Charlie helped them reveal the contents… I had been so busy catching them on the camera that I hadn`t looked closely at the photos on the box. When it opened, my own jaw dropped. I knew Dad was getting a nice wooden doll house but this one was absolutely stunning!

"Wow!" I let out a loud gasp. "Look at this!"

Charlie glanced at me and smiled sheepishly. My eyes must have been popping out of my sockets or something of that sort because he laughed at me and came closer.

"Dad, this is beautiful," I said quietly.

"Thank you. I`m glad you like it. Now, go over to them, I`ll film all three of you."

"No, Dad –"

"Yes, Bella. I can see how much you want to play, go," he joked and I hopped over to my little monkeys.

Within seconds I forgot that Charlie was filming us and focused on the giggling, smiling, laughing, sighing and gasping. There were plenty of furniture pieces and little people that needed to be freed from small plastic bags so I took care of that and then Sophie and Rachel looked at every piece and asked where to put it. Eventually Dad turned the camera off and joined us. We arranged the rooms in the house, not without a few little arguments and some compromising, but it was great fun. I don`t think I ever played like that with my dad when I was a child. Or maybe I just didn`t remember.

Charlie and I exchanged gifts as well and then I escaped to the kitchen to get breakfast ready. The happy noises coming from the living room were delightful. Only Edward was missing… I was glad that I had captured this morning`s antics on film, maybe he would like to see them the next day… Well, would he, really?

_He likes my children, I can see that, but we`re not his family. What we have is sweet and lovely but what it is exactly, it`s hard to tell. That lady in the coffee shop, Mrs. Browne called me Edward`s girlfriend. He didn`t oppose and didn`t mention it later. Is this how he sees me? He`s careful with me and I`m thankful for that but what if we`re just falling into the `friendship` zone? He`s a wonderful friend but I want more, much more… And I don`t know if I should…_

_Oh, stop it, Bella! The man likes you and wants you! You were going to have phone sex last night for crying out loud! It`s not exactly what friends do, unless you`re friends with benefits. And with all due respect, Edward is way too hot and you`re way too complicated to be fuck buddies. Besides, it would have happened already, many times! And look at you, you`ve known him for four months and he hasn`t even seen your tits yet. _

I was woken from my reverie by a text message. From _him_.

`Happy Christmas to you my beautiful girls, and to all in Forks and La Push! Have a great time and come back to me quickly! E.`

_Oh my God, he didn`t! Did he just ask us to come back to him? I mean, he wants us back… Is he really missing me as much as I`m missing him? Sweet tiny, newborn baby Jesus, I`m such a mess._

`We`re having a great time, but we miss you, _I _miss you… Happy Christmas from all of us to all the Cullens! Big hugs and kisses, especially from the two little monsters who are currently extremely busy playing with their new doll house! Is Santa the best or what?! B.`

After breakfast Charlie and I persuaded the girls to get dressed and join us on the trip to the Blacks` place. We had to swear that their new toys would still be there when we got back.

Jacob was as busy playing with his sons and their new toys as Charlie had been with the wooden house. I shook my head looking at Jake. It took him a good few seconds to register me in the door. Leah and Sue joined me and Leah whispered into my ear, "They`ve been like that all morning. Mom and I had a nice quiet breakfast together," she finished with a wink. I laughed.

The afternoon was busy and fun. Santa proved to be `forgetful` again. He had left some gifts for the Swan girls in La Push and some for the Black boys in Forks, wink, wink. More excitement followed and then Leah and her sons sang a holiday song in Quileute for us. It was lovely. I had never spent Christmas with my children away from Phoenix before so the experience was new and I can honestly say, I wouldn't change the tiniest bit of it. It felt fantastic to reconnect with Jake and have our children meeting for the first time as we realized. Wethe adults had seen each other in the last years but the kids were new to one another. I liked to see Jake and Leah still so much in love. My dad and Sue looked comfortable and content. I couldn`t wish for much more.

There was a lot of `firsts` happening again in my and my daughters` lives. I was documenting as much as I could. My camera snapped pictures and recorded our adventures. All the while I played my new game imagining that Edward was there with us, either talking to Sue in the kitchen or playing games with Quil and Embry and that`s why he was out of the shot, but he was there… I found myself dreaming and wondering if he would have been as eager to listen to the Quileute songs and stories or playing a mini theater with Rachel and Sophie`s new finger puppets. And then halfway through it dawned on me that I had been regretting him not being with me whereas in fact he _had _been with me all the time, in my thoughts and somewhere in my chest, a place that warmed up at every image of him in my mind, a place I was too scared to name.

The whole lot of us dressed up snugly and we went for a long walk on the beach. It brought back memories as Jake and I used to go there when we were teenagers. That`s where I learned some tribal legends, starting with the one telling that the Quileute tribe were descendants of wolves and their only natural enemy were vampires. The vampires` presence in the proximity of the reservation would activate the shape shifting gene in the members of the tribe and they would be able to change into werewolves to protect their land and people. I remember when we laughed every time I checked Jacob`s skin for fur. He reciprocated stating that I was so pale and my hands would get so cold so easily and quickly that I could pass for a vampire myself, "a cold one" as the tribal members called them. Good thing I had Jake there with me, his hands would warm up mine in no time. He was always much warmer than me.

We ate Christmas dinner together and all too soon it was time to say goodbye. We promised to meet up again and with that Charlie and I placed the girls in their car seats and drove back to his house. Sue was coming with us and the three of us tried our best to keep Sophie and Rachel awake, so we sang Christmas songs all the way.

The children were tired and I felt they would fall asleep earlier than I anticipated. While Sue kept them occupied asking about their new toys, I packed our bags and said thank you and goodbye to Charlie. Then I heard Sophie crying. I went into the living room where I found Sue was trying to console her.

"Bella, I told her that she was going to Seattle soon and she started crying. I`m so sorry, I didn`t mean to upset her, " Sue apologized, but I waved her off.

"Don't worry at all. They`re exhausted and sensitive now."

"What`s wrong, baby girl?" Charlie kneeled down beside my two-year-old whose face was covered in tears.

"I don`t want to go home, Gampa! I wanna play with the house!" She sobbed and wiped her nose in her sleeve.

"But baby, this is _your_ house!" My dad was relieved that he understood what the matter was. "Santa brought it for you ad Rachel and now Mommy is going to put it in her car and you are going to bring it all the way to Seattle, to _your_ house!"

The poor thing looked at us all, including her sister snuggled in Sue`s arms, too tired to fight over anything, and felt embarrassed. A little smile flashed through her features and she flung her body into mine. I held her and she wailed into my shoulder. Sue, Charlie, and I smiled at each other and I rubbed my child`s back. My dad motioned to me that he would put the house into my car boot.

"Angel," I said to Sophie through the noise she was making, "Shhh, it`s OK, love, it`s fine… Listen to Mommy now, OK?" I tried to pry her from my shirt but she fought back and cried out again, clutching the fabric on me. "Sweetie, Mommy`s gonna hold you now and look, Grandpa is putting the house into our car, see?!"

I stood up bringing her with me. Feeling the breeze coming from outside she dared to have a quick look at Charlie. Sue was still holding my Rachel who was far away already, her eyes rolling and fluttering until she stopped battling the urge to close them. Sue put her in the seat and buckled her. Rachel`s thumb slipped out of her mouth and she was gone. Sue gave her a kiss goodbye and went into the house for some tissues to wipe off what Sophie shared with me on my shirt. My Little Wise Owl didn`t fight her battle to the end, she chased after her three-minute younger sister into Dreamland.

It was only half past seven. I was counting on a not too long wait for the ferry and getting to my own house soon enough. I was tired myself and as much as I had enjoyed the past two days I wanted to sleep in my own bed again and be closer to Edward.

I thanked Dad and Sue for a lovely time and the gifts and wished them a merry Christmas for the last time. I buckled my seatbelt and started the engine. My children and I had beautiful new memories. I had plenty of new photos and videos and I would remember the love that I had shared with my family, because I couldn`t call Sue, Leah and Jacob and their boys anything else.

I reversed and saw Sue and Charlie going inside the house, already chatting and rubbing the cold from their arms and shoulders. My kiddies were sleeping blissfully. I turned my head around and looked at the road in front. It was a long drive, but at the end of that road was Edward.

It was time to go back home.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello! A quick note; each chapter so far has moved the story forward more or less two weeks, except for this one. This is the second part of Christmas and we`re continuing where we left off. Last night Bella drove back to Seattle after Chistmas Day in Forks. Today the Swans are meeting the Cullens for late lunch…**

**Warning! A part of this chapter earns its M rating ; -) **

**Chapter 12 BPOV**

**DOWN CAME THE RAIN**

Last night we made it to the ferry with only a couple of minutes to spare. I had pre-paid for assistance with one of the children and the young crew member welcomed me as I parked the car. She carried sleeping Rachel to the cabin and I followed after her with Sophie in my arms. As I sat down and my body had a chance to rest, I finally felt the strain of the day and the tiredness overtook me. I closed my eyes.

In no time we were on land once more. I thanked Evelyn, the girl who helped me with Rachel, and hit the road. The children only stirred when they were lifted up and carried, other than that I had to laugh, they didn`t even realize that they had been on a ferry again.

I turned on the hands-free set on my cell and dialled Edward`s number. I barely registered that I had pressed the green button and he already picked his up.

"Hi, Bella. Everything OK? Where are you?"

"Hi, we`re alright, in Edmonds already."

"Already? That`s great! So you`re earlier! Are you tired, did you sleep? How are the girls?"

"OK, OK, easy, tiger," I laughed. "I`m tired but happy. Yes, I did sleep and the girls are great. They were so worn out that they slept through the whole ferry drive."

"And you got help both ways?"

"I did."

"Good, I`m glad all is fine. Do you want me to meet you somewhere halfway so I would drive and you could sleep?"

"No, no, I`m fine, Edward. Besides, if you bring your car and then drive mine, what will you do with yours?"

"Oh, no worries. I`d bring Em or Jasper with me and they would drive the Volvo back home. We`ve done it numerous times before."

"I`m impressed and appreciate it but I`m fine, Edward. It`s quiet on the road and I`m flying here."

"OK, just be careful. We got some snow here during the day and it`s slushy now towards Seattle. If you need anything, I`m here, Bella."

"I`ll be careful, thanks. Tell me…" I narrowed my eyes with a smile, "Is there a particular reason by a chance, behind your insistence? A kiss and a cuddle before bedtime maybe?"

He laughed in return, "Bella, for what I would like from you, we are both too tired and busy right now, sweetheart…"

A giggle escaped me. I loved flirting with him.

It was eleven at night when I opened the door to my house and carried the girls inside. I didn`t bother changing them into pjs and just loosened their clothes instead. I put the presents from Mom, Kate and me under the Christmas tree, in case my munchkins woke up and wandered into the living room before me. Then I climbed into my bed. Sleep came quickly.

We mooched around the house all morning. Rachel and Sophie found the gifts and yet again I blamed poor ol` Santa for his forgetfulness. I let the girls blow bubbles over the carpet in the living room. We also made colourful play-doh shapes and talked about the clock and the alphabet while putting new jigsaws together. Of course, playing with the doll house goes without saying.

I let Edward know that we were alright and would make it on time to his parents` place. It was all thrilling and frightening at once. I chose to think about today as visiting my friend`s family, meaning Alice`s, rather than my… boy… friend`s one.

My daughters` energy levels were as high as ever and they couldn`t wait to see Edward again.

I smiled to myself when I saw him already opening the front door to the house before I even turned off the engine. He kneeled down to welcome the girls and they both clambered onto his knees. He carried them both, much to their delight and my displeased wince.

"Your back will suffer," I accused as he walked over to me.

"Hello to you, too," he said with a crooked smile and kissed me on the lips. "I missed you. Happy Christmas."

God, it was sooooo good to see him! I loved yesterday but my very personal little Christmas began with that kiss.

My ducklings looked at us as if nothing happened, though it was the first time they had witnessed that kind of intimate exchange between Edward and I.

When I looked behind him, I noticed that my children weren`t the only ones who had seen us; Esme and Rosalie waved from the doorway.

"Bella, darling, welcome! Merry Christmas!" Esme embraced me warmly and she petted Rachel and Sophie`s arms and hands, "How are you, sweethearts?"

Edward set them down and they walked with him to meet his family.

"Rosalie, hi! It`s so good to see you!" I hugged Emmett`s wife. "And congratulations on your little treasure," I looked into her glistening eyes and down at her still perfectly flat stomach.

The place was busy and happy. The season`s music was on, I could hear Emmett laughing, Alice singing and Jasper playing with Hugo. There was clatter of shoes on the wooden floors, delicious smells coming from the kitchen and sparkling of the Christmas decorations around the place.

I thought the house was magnificent and classy. Esme is an interior designer I reminded myself, no wonder. Earthy browns and beige dominated in the living room where I joined the rest of the Cullens.

"Hey, bella ragazza, how are you?!" Emmett bellowed and I found myself enveloped in his arms and against his chest.

Edward was right, his brother was on cloud nine. Today was the first time after my birthday party three and a half months earlier to see the whole gang together. Rosalie had a glow on her face. She moved somewhat carefully as if avoiding any possible collisions with the furniture or other people. She was already so protective of her baby. Alice`s bump was even bigger this afternoon then three days ago when I saw her at the boutique during my lunch break. I overheard her claiming the superiority of one brand of diapers and baby wipes over another. Rose listened and nodded her head.

Sophie and Rachel played with some toys that we brought with us for a while and then they followed Hugo. He told them about creepy crawlies in his book and they listened like he was their teacher. Rose read them their new Christmas books, with dedications written by every member of the family, `on our first Christmas together`. I didn't quite know what to think about that inclusion but nothing seemed pushy or invasive, it was actually lovely. Then the girls put together the number jigsaws from Edward for the fifth time, with his mom`s help. They were so chuffed after each completion that they hopped over to me and pulled my sleeve urging me to go see the finished product. Hugo got the same type of jigsaw, in a shape of a butterfly, of course. Uncle Edward proved to be a hero once more.

Esme suggested that we all sing some Christmas songs so we gathered around the grand piano and Edward sat on the bench. I had seen scenes like that in old Hollywood productions before but never in real life. He looked so majestic and in control. I was grateful for this moment, especially when I saw Rachel and Sophie open mouthed and singing along with us all. Carlisle snapped some photos.

We were asked to take our seats at the table. After yesterday`s rich and hearty Christmas dinner today we were having a selection of light salads and snacks, and steamed fish and vegetables as a hot meal option.

Emmett chatted to Hugo while Rose reached for their plates. Hugo chose some salad and bread.

"And for you, my monkey man?" Rosalie asked Emmett holding a plate for him.

"I`ll have the fish, thank you."

Rachel wriggled on Edward`s lap and looked up at Emmett, "Are you a monkey?" 

"Well, Rosalie likes to call me a monkey so maybe I am."

"He`s a gorilla, Rachel!" Alice laughed and we all cheered.

Rachel was a curious little thing. "Why are you a monkey?"

"I call Emmett a monkey because I love him," Rosalie said sweetly putting a plate full of fish and vegetables in front of her husband. I squeaked inside.

My daughter`s forehead creased, "My mommy calls me `cheeky monkey`." She grinned crookedly.

"That`s probably because she loves you very much and you know that monkeys are the best, right?" Emmett was very sweet.

"Yep."

"Especially the cheeky ones," Rosalie added, winking at both her monkey man and my cheeky monkey.

"Sometimes she calls me `duckling`, too."

This time Edward spoke. "I know a story about a little duckling which grew up to be a beautiful swan."

"We are called Swan. Sophie Swan, Rachel Swan and Bella Swan!" Rachel`s eyes twinkled.

"Told you!" Edward waved his hand.

At some point, when our stomachs were satisfied, Emmett helped his Dad carry the dishes to the kitchen while Esme read the books to the children again. The three young faces looked so funny and completely entranced, their mouths and eyes open wide.

Rose was telling us about the plans for the big move. Both she and Emmett were going to stay in Seattle for a few weeks to finalize the purchase of the restaurant and looking for a new place to live. For a start she said, they were planning to get an apartment but given the happy circumstances as she put it while patting her stomach, they would need a bigger one than initially considered. We all applauded every time she made a shy reference to the baby.

Our talking about the restaurant didn`t escape Emmett`s ears of course. He paraded in carrying desserts and commented on each of them before setting them down on the table. Rose laughed that Emmett didn`t eat to live, it was the other way round, he lived to eat!

"Emmett is like Joey from `Friends`," she laughed.

"I love `Friends`. I watch reruns on tv!" I exclaimed.

Emmett grinned, "That`s my girl, me too!" 

"So, what`s your favorite line then, why are you like Joey?" 

Emmett looked around and bellowed, "_Joey doesn't share food!_" His impression of Joey sent us all into fits of laughter. Rose just shook her head.

"I love this one!" I shouted out. "My favorite is Rachel`s `and that my friend is what I call closure!` " I ended my act with a phone throwing motion, like the character of Rachel did on the show.

Rose clicked her fingers, "I know this one! I love another one from the same episode, it`s in the morning when Ross listens to Rachel`s message from the previous night and says `You`re _over_ me? When were you _under_ me?`"

We cracked up again. I looked up at Edward, "Do you have a favorite line?"

"Chandler`s `Could I _be_ more sorry?!`"

"Alice, what`s yours?" Emmett gently elbowed his sister.

"Phoebe, just before Rachel and Ross kiss for the first time, `see, he`s her lobster!` And `The smelly cat` song, I love it!"

"Jasper, your turn!" Emmett demanded again.

"I don't have a line, I like the interaction between Ross and Mike when Rachel and Phoebe go out, you know when the guys sit down on the couch –"

"The beer one!" Edward was suddenly very enthusiastic.

"Yeah, that one. Oh, and Rachel and Ross singing `I like big butts and I cannot lie` to their baby!`"

"We actually sang that song to Hugo, remember, honey?"

Jasper nodded and hung his head in shame. Alice patted his arm.

"There will be none of that with this one, I promise!" Jasper rubbed Alice`s roundness.

"What? It should have been `_more_ of that`, not `_none_ of that`!" She argued with her eyes open wide.

We laughed.

"Oh well, not so much time for tv shows nowadays, have we?" I commented out loud.

"I used to watch The Big Bang Theory, but have no time for that anymore!" Emmett confessed.

"Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur…" Alice began the song and I joined in.

"Oh! `Eureka`! I like that one, too!" I added.

"That`s my favourite!" Jasper said. I thought it suited him.

"Then of course there`s `Peppa Pig`, and `Lola and Charlie` and `Dora`…" I continued and soon Alice, Jasper and Edward`s chuckling echoed in the room. They were familiar with kids shows through Hugo while Rosalie and Emmett would learn all about them soon enough.

A couple of hours later Sophie and Rachel`s bedtime was nearing. For them it had been another very busy and intense day. I found Esme and Carlisle and thanked them for their hospitality.

Going back to find my daughters, through only half open door I noticed Alice resting on the couch in the living room. Edward pulled a small stool over to her and she lifted her feet onto it. She smiled at him quickly and he reciprocated. It was such a sweet moment with him taking care of his pregnant sister. He sat beside her and put his feet up onto another stool. They talked and ate crisps. And then Alice whispered something to Edward and he placed his hand on her swollen belly. His hand brushed against it, pressing gently form time to time. I felt my own hand moving instinctively over my flat stomach. When I was pregnant I only felt _my own_ warmth. Alice has Jasper who is as excited about the baby as she is. I could imagine his hands stroking her tight skin, his head pressed to it, cooing to their baby. I could imagine the little one swimming over and pressing their tiny body against mommy`s skin inside her to feel daddy`s love and comfort. I remembered when a few years ago I couldn`t stop touching my belly. I constantly talked to my two little nudgers but I was the only one who loved them. They only heard my voice, they only felt my warmth, my comfort, never _his._

Edward would be such an amazing dad. And a husband. And a friend, a lover, protector, provider, supporter, teacher… Could he be mine… Would he like that?

We all exchanged hugs and kisses. Since Rose and Emmett were staying in Seattle, we girls planned to meet up for lunch one day.

I was surprised but secretly over the moon to discover that Edward was following me all the way to my house. He was going to work tonight but he wanted to spend some time with me first. I felt fuzzy and warm and… damp at the simple prospect of closeness with him even to a small degree.

The children were excited that Edward was with us and of course, he had to see the doll house! I also reminded them that they had something that they made for him. It was heart-warming to see how genuinely surprised and overjoyed he was when presented with a soft package from two small girls.

"We made a t-shirt!" Sophie couldn`t keep the secret any longer and Edward ripped the paper.

"Wow, girls, this is fantastic! Did you make it yourselves?" He kneeled down to give them hugs.

"Mommy helped," Rachel explained.

"This is going to be my favorite t-shirt now. Thank you very much, I am so happy!"

I smiled at him, "Remember when we went to the ball? Alice brought fabric paints to decorate the girls` new bed sheets. There were some paints left and we used them to make personalized t-shirts for ourselves. As we were buying the white t-shirts, the girls insisted we got one for you, too and here it is!"

"Brilliant idea," he said looking at the colourful design on the fabric. I managed to paint a sun whereas the twins` descriptions of their funny little scribbles varied from day to day. We finished our creation with our handprints in red, yellow and blue.

"This," I pointed at two long lines on the fabric, "is you with your stethoscope, depending on the day, of course. And this here is you reading a story."

"That came from the heart, Bella. It`s precious."

"From three hearts to be precise."

I got a wink.

After a few minutes of fussing and fighting with each other, the girls began complaining and crying and I decided it was time for bed for them. They calmed down when Edward promised to read them a story so I left them in the little ones` bedroom and put away some things that I had brought from Forks. I was called for a goodnight kiss and two minutes later Edward and I came downstairs hand in hand.

"Thank you for the beautiful jigsaws. You saw for yourself how happy they were," I motioned up to my daughters` room.

"It was great fun to watch and no problem, Bella. I actually have something for you, too… If you`ll excuse me for a minute, I have to sneak out to my car."

I watched him run out and retrieve a parcel from the back seat of the Volvo. His ass looked delicious from where I was standing. I licked my lips and wondered if Rachel and Sophie were asleep deeply enough…

"Brrr, it`s freezing out there," Edward shivered and followed me into the living room.

We stood facing each other and he touched my hand.

"This is for you," he handed me what felt like a thick book, wrapped in decorative paper. "It`s just how I see you and um… admire you, Bella. I was at this jigsaw store buying gifts for Sophie, Rachel and Hugo and this one popped up. We`ve been getting to know each other for a while now and I feel that we both are getting more comfortable and… It feels good and right. I`m really enjoying the flirting game we`ve been playing and if it leads to more, I couldn`t be happier. I know that far and foremost you are a mom and I respect that. Open it, please. I hope you like it."

I`m not usually that easy accepting gifts but I wanted more than anything a little, even the tiniest thing, from Edward, something that would bring him to mind when I looked at it. Not that I needed a reminder because he was on my mind all the time, but a tiny…

"Oh, Edward, this is beautiful. So sweet!" I exclaimed as I unpacked my… jigsaw! Yes, I too got a jigsaw! It was a wooden swan with two young cygnets under the mother`s wings.

"So, I presume you like it?"

"I love it, Edward. Thank you! It`s a really good representation, a swan for a Swan, you know!"

"I thought so, too," he said and leaned for a kiss. I ducked away though and he looked confused.

"Just a second. I have something for you as well."

"Oh," was all he managed to say before I dashed over to my Christmas tree to pick up a flat package and dart back to him.

"Um…" I stuttered, all of a sudden uncertain about my words. "You will probably laugh. Your gift and what you`ve just said mean so, so much to me, Edward. The last few months have been incredible. It`s taking time for me to crumble the walls but there are holes in them already. When I saw this," I pointed at the contents of my hands, "I thought that this is exactly what I want to give you. I feel… I _know _that it will be safe with you."

Something was happening between us. Maybe it was just Christmas magic, I couldn't be sure, but I liked it.

Edward ripped the paper and his eyes fell from my face onto the item he was holding. It was a photograph of a mother swan tending to her two young cygnets. I put it in an anti frame.

The man before me swallowed hard. He ran his fingers over the photo.

"It`s beautiful. I`ll keep them safe, Bella, all three of them."

He pressed the picture to his chest and his lips to my forehead for a long minute.

After I finally succeeded to stop my tears from falling, Edward and I joked how similar minds we had, given our gift choices.

When we sat on the couch and his arm brushed against mine I remembered why I had gotten excited about being alone with him in the first place. My body had been jumpy and giddy the whole time and now the same message had made its way to my mind.

"I`ll check on the kids," I scurried out of the room and up the stairs.

The children were fast asleep, their breaths deep and even. I pulled the covers which were kicked off back over them and rushed down to Edward.

He welcomed me with open arms. I showed him thumbs up that the girls were alright and dimmed the lights.

"Brrr," I shuddered, "It really _is _cold."

Edward grabbed my cushy blanket from the arm chair beside the couch and covered us both as I snuggled into him. He held me closely, breathing in the scent of my hair.

"Mmmm, I missed you, my strawberry girl," he murmured to himself.

"Strawberry girl?" I whispered while drawing slow circles on his chest, underneath the blanket.

"Your shampoo?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I thought maybe Alice told you her strawberry story in the end…" I raised my head and looked up at him.

"This has something to do with sex, right?"

"Yyyes."

Where did I get the guts from to stare into his eyes in that moment, I will never know.

"What is it about then? Do tell," he cocked his head and dazzled me. His hands which had been just holding me innocently, began slow movements on my back and my thighs. I couldn`t tell how conscious they were but my body registered them rather quickly.

"I`ll leave the whole story for another time but it`s more or less about making a choice between a few fruits. If you choose said strawberry, it means that you have sex on your mind."

"Hmm," Edward`s eyes squinted, "I think about strawberries all the time and every time I`m near you," he opened his eyes widely at me, waiting.

"That`s because of my shampoo," I shook my head matter-of-factly.

"Are you sure?" He said sultrily, just like over the phone the other night. "Because I would argue…"

Having been wrapped in him so closely I couldn`t miss his heartbeat. It was speeding up and I realized that it matched my own one, rushing somewhere… lower and lower…

I`m sure that he`d recognized that he hadn`t been only keeping me warm under our shared cover. I was getting aroused. While stretching my neck up to reach his lips with mine, my hand struggled to keep balance and landed right down on his… oh my God, he was getting hard, and fast. He growled at my sudden touch and his tongue found its way into my mouth all the while his arms snaked around me and moulded me into his torso.

"So, what are you wearing tonight, Bella? That red bra? It drove me out of my mind the other night, you know?" He breathed out between sucking on my lips and kissing my face. "It was all I could think of at work."

"It`s a brown one today. You can see it if you want…" My words spilled out quickly. I knew we wouldn't get too serious tonight, with my children sleeping upstairs and Edward`s work time nearing, but I knew that both our bodies cried for some kind of deliverance.

"I do. I wanna see it." With these words his mouth parted with my skin for a second and he looked into my eyes. He must have liked what he saw because I noticed a tiny smirk on him and it nearly undid me.

I moaned quietly and started opening the buttons on my shirt. Edward`s greenness darkened and followed my fingers like as if they were showing life saving instructions on a sinking ship.

"Do you wanna do that part?" I asked.

"Yes."

He covered my hands with his and kissed each one before letting them drop by my sides. His long, slender fingers continued skilfully. My heart was hammering, my palms were getting sweaty and my knees had turned into jelly. I wriggled around and straddled his thighs.

"Bella, sweetheart, I know we won`t go all the way tonight but I just need…. I need a little something…"

I moaned and rubbed my bum against his thighs. He looked at me questioningly.

"I think you`ve just read my thoughts. I _need_ a little bit of you, too."

My shirt was open and Edward sighed as he saw my bra. He held me by my sides and I lifted myself up placing him face to face with my chest.

I didn`t have much time to think about what was happening; Edward sucked greedily on my neck and his tongue worked his way down to the `twins`, as he called them. He was holding me closely and his warm hands on my back felt amazing; hot, hungry, and cocooning me all at the same time. The blanket stayed in place covering our lower bodies but my shirt had to go.

"Wait," I said to Edward and as he watched me with wide, not-so-green eyes anymore. I pulled the top off of me and threw it on the floor.

His impatient fingers traced the outlines of my breasts. I could see my chest heaving. A few more seconds and I would be shoving my boobs in his gorgeous face!

Then I noticed that Edward`s hand was frantically looking for something on my back. I chuckled.

"It`s at the front," I let out.

"What?" He sounded a little hazy!

"The bra opens at the front, right here," I pressed his hand to the tiny plastic clasp.

His eyes showed surprise and I smiled to myself. Clearly he`d never undone one like that before!

But now it all changed. Edward was two inches away from my breasts.

"Beautiful…" he gasped to himself. "Bella, they are perfect. You are even more beautiful than I imagined, absolutely stunning…"

"Thanks," I managed to utter and then I saw the tip of Edward`s tongue on my very hard right nipple. I nearly lost it and automatically flinched away but he kept me close. I watched his mesmerizing lips, teeth and tongue performing a show of licking, nipping and grazing on one of my peaks and pinching and rolling between his fingers on the other. It was driving me crazy. I pulled at his hair, trying to get him even nearer to my flushed skin. My head fell back and my hips rubbed against his. He hissed into my chest at the contact of out lower bodies. We needed more.

Edward laid me down on the couch on a cushion and pulled himself on top of me, bringing the blanket with him. He still devoured my breasts and neck but I could feel one panicky hand snaking down and between my legs. My insides were flaming and getting ready to jump for joy as the long forgotten parts of me were enjoying some attention at last! And what attention! The zip on my pants was opened by now and I bucked my hips up to help Edward free them of my clothes.

His hands teased the insides if my thighs and it took a pained `please` from me for him to kiss me full on the mouth again and for his fingers to cross the lace barrier. I circled my hips looking for any friction I could get. Watching the blanket which was covering us dance along with me, made me moan in desperation. My panties joined my pants somewhere around my knees and Edward`s hand reached its destination in my wetness.

I held my breath in for a second.

"Oh, Lord…" I murmured and then I felt those long fingers moving up and down my folds. My hand flew to Edward`s pants.

"No, baby. You first…" He panted into my ear. Then he lifted his head and watched me. I shut my eyes. This was quickly becoming too much… "Tell me what you like, Bella," he asked as one of his fingers teased my opening.

"It`s right…" I answered breathlessly, "You`re doing it right…"

"I wanna slip into you-"

"YES!" I cut him off and as if on command, Edward slid his middle finger inside me. The fact that it was him and after so long and I felt so safe and secure, respected and cherished and… loved… I was losing my mind.

Before I opened my mouth again to beg for more, Edward added a second finger and began curling them slightly while inside me. A loud moan escaped my lungs.

"Edward… yes… yes… umm," I could hear myself slipping out of control, but my body was waking up and dancing. I couldn`t stop it.

"Shhh…." He whispered raggedly.

_For Pete`s sake, I know I have to be quiet but how can I, huh? You are driving me over the edge here! Oh, God, yes! Just a little more, just a bit more, baby…_

"Ummm! You`re hitting the spot, Edward…" I whispered and his thumb began its ministrations on the little bundle of nerves above my opening. His two fingers were gliding in and out of me and his thumb drew circles on my clit. I felt dripping wet and sticky and wonderful.

Something was tightening knots in my stomach and Edward caught my lips in a feverish kiss just in time to stifle my cries. I convulsed repeatedly underneath him and the blanket.

Eventually I collapsed motionlessly against the cushion and after a moment Edward relaxed his hand. He smiled at me and I smiled back, probably the most stupid grin on the planet. He moved his fingers out of me and unintentionally his fingernail grazed my swollen clit. I hissed intensely.

"You still there?"

"Yeah," I gasped.

He dished me a crooked smirk and I felt the side of his thumb rub that little bundle again, very slowly and very deliberately. My eyes lolled back into my head and half a minute later I fell apart once more… This release was quieter, a completing one. I floated on air. Edward kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear.

"You`re beautiful, Bella."

His breathing tickled my skin and made me shiver. I wove my hand into his hair and held him cheek to cheek.

I could feel blood thrumming in his veins and his erection pressing into my hip. I lifted up my head and made Edward sit up with me beside him. I struggled out of my pants completely and threw them aside. Edward`s eyes levelled with my breasts again and he took a long sensual lick of one of them, from underneath to the nipple. I sighed loudly.

My fingers grazed his shirt and travelled down to his abdomen. I held onto the couch next to his head for balance with one hand while my other one opened the buckle separating me from the promise land. His bulge twitched, still confined by the garments. I passed the fabric of his pants and cupped what I found underneath it.

"MMMMM!" Edward let out as I squeezed. I knew he was struggling to be relatively quiet and we were still a little shy but I wasn`t going to stop. Having him right there and watching him squirm and turn hot and bothered gave me confidence like I didn`t know I had.

"Lift up your bum," I asked and he obliged.

He helped me pull his pants and boxer shorts down and immediately I felt the silkiness of him brushing the back of my hand.

"That must have been painful," I said feeling the hardness.

"It`s been painful for months, Bella," he croaked.

I slid my hand up to the head and while looking at Edward`s face, his eyes half closed, I spread the moisture around the tip. I was rewarded with a hiss and the bucking of the hips, which gave me a great thrill. I was pleasuring him and it felt marvellous.

The blanket danced again, this time with my hand gripping Edward`s shaft and moving up and down. Edward grunted and groaned continuously. He covered my hand with his and made me grip more firmly. It was like a confirmation that he enjoyed what I was doing and I increased the speed of my ministrations.

"Fuck, Bella…" He moaned again and the intensity with which he held my side told me that he was close to his heaven. I smiled to myself and crashed my chest to his.

He kissed and sucked fiercely on my neck. His breathing hitched and I could feel his muscles strain before the first wave of orgasm washed through his body. My hand was getting covered in his cool liquid and I couldn't believe that it was I who brought him that relief. He held me tightly and buried his head in my hair.

We waited for our breathing to even. Edward turned to my lips and pressed against them as if thanking me. Then he chuckled.

"You can tell my sister to spread her strawberry tale somewhere else because you have your own one now, `the blanket story`."

"I`ll sure do that."

"Look at us two fools."

"Pants down, bra hanging open… I know… But it was worth it," I laughed quietly.

"One thousand percent. It was fabulous, Bella. I remember when Alice said that you and I would be fab together and I don`t know how she knew it, but she was dead right."

"Spot on!"

"Promise me we`ll do it again…"

"This and much more, Edward. I`ve wanted you since the day I met you. And this," I pointed at us, "has been mind-blowing."

"Good. Have I told you that you have the most amazing hands?"

I was grateful that I had only left a dim light on, so hopefully Edward wouldn`t see how profusely I was blushing. Yes, I was thinking with my mind again and it was getting to me what we had just done.

We put the clothes back on and Edward had to go home to get ready for work. We kissed by the door and after I closed it behind him, I slid down against it like in a well overused gag in so many movies. My knees were still wobbly and the teenager in me was jumping for joy. I had been a naughty girl with Edward Cullen, yay!

Some time later I got a text message.

`Can`t stop thinking about you, Bella. The photo stands beside my bed so I can keep an eye on you all the time.`

`I put my jigsaw on my bedside table too! And thank you for tonight, Edward. I`m off to bed now. Had to put the blanket in the wash because it was covered in us and the girls like to use it. ;-) `

Obviously I didn`t tell him that before throwing the blanket into the machine I actually sniffed it like a animal, trying to preserve what he had left on it…

I slept like a log. The children were off school so I was working half days to be able to spend more time with them. In the morning, after the shower I looked in the mirror and… didn`t know whether to cry or laugh. Laughing and smirking won though. Edward left exactly two hickeys on my neck and one near my clavicle! I put a polo neck and a scarf on, and marched to work secretly proud that I had been marked.

The next day I was meeting Rose and Alice for lunch. I brought Rachel and Sophie along with me. Sophie sat happily on Rose`s lap and Rachel occupied mine. After a while she wiggled and pulled at my shirt accidentally. A fright shot through Alice`s face who was seated opposite me.

"Bella, what is that!?"

"What?"

She attracted the kids` attention and tried to cool it down, "Your… N-E-C-K," she spelled and touched her own neck involuntarily.

"Ah, this. Well…" I couldn`t help but smile and Alice finally understood that it was nothing to worry about.

"OH! Just a little mark, is it?" She raised her brows and Rose made the same face.

"Um… yeah, _three_ of them, actually," I discretely fiddled with my scarf so the women could catch a glance of the love bites. They both cleared their throats.

"And they would have come from… my brother?" Alice asked secretly.

"Emmett? No, of course not," I joked and winked at the two women. Rose laughed and her sister-in-law threw her hands in the air and then, as my daughters got interested again, she pretended to be stretching.

Rosalie was looking forward to starting life anew. She told us that she and Emmett had been thinking of a new name for the business. "Emmett`s" was a simple name that everybody in Fairbanks knew and lived with for the last few years. Back when Emmett started running it the name for the place was the last thing on his mind; he just wanted to cook and make people happy with his food. Now he was a little more thorough and he felt that a grand new location called for an appropriate new name. He wanted his customers to have a good experience and remember the restaurant well. As Rose put it, Emmett wanted something indicating a fleeting moment, something that happens rarely but leaves a lingering memory. Emmett Cullen a poet? What do you know?! ; -)

I told Rosalie how I could relate to her feelings of anxiety and joy at the same time. I had moved to Seattle and began building my new life only half a year earlier.

"I don`t know what your life was like I Phoenix, Bella," she said, "but you`re doing so well. You don`t show any stress at all."

"Thank you. I`m glad it doesn`t show, for the sake of some small people here but it`s still there, I can assure you. I know that I made the right decision to move though. And the girls are thriving so I`m happy."

"Oh, I`ll find out all about that soon, please God," she looked down at her tummy.

"Of course you will," I reaffirmed and Alice nodded her head in agreement.

"There`s something… not perfect… with the hormones. Their levels aren`t going up as they should so I don`t know what`s gonna happen. Carlisle is going to run some tests…"

"It`s gonna be great, Rose, you`ll see. I can`t wait for our little ones to play together. There will be just a few months gap between them. They could go to school together!" Alice clapped her hands, dreaming.

"That sounds fantastic, I know!" Rosalie sounded like she`d been infected by Alice`s enthusiasm.

"Good for you, ladies! I can imagine those two daddies doing summer camps together. Emmett will cook for the kids and Jasper will tell them all about the world`s history."

We burst out laughing, but agreed that the future looked very bright indeed.

It was the best way to end the old year and start the new one. Things were going well for the Cullens. There were new businesses and new babies on the way and Edward and I had moved forward as well. My parents, my children and my friends were healthy and happy. So far so good.

"So, girls, what drinks are we having?" Rosalie asked after our Bolognese was gone.

The two pregnant ladies ordered caffeine free lattes and I was going to get a cappuccino.

"Mommy, can I have _papcino_, too?" Rachel looked at me pleadingly.

"Well, I`m not sure, angel…" I began.

"Look, they have bambinoccino on the menu. How about that?" Rose said studying the card.

"What`s that, Rosalie?" I frowned.

"It`s just warm frothed milk sprinkled with cinnamon," she explained to me and then looked at my Sophie who was studying Rose`s lovely face closely. "And it`s yummy and special for very young ladies like Sophie and Rachel, I believe."

"Oh, I didn`t know that. So, what do you reckon, Sophie, Rachel, would you like to try bambinoccino?"

"Yes, yes!" They both nodded so strongly that Rachel nearly lost her balance. They were so excited to be out for lunch with Mommy, in a restaurant, having a girly chat.

That night Alice sent me a message, `My brother is a devil! I loved those marks on you! : -) `

The said devil came for a quick visit. He was on the way home after work and made it just in time for goodnight kisses from his favourite little squeakers. Yes, they actually squeak when they see him!

"Busy day?" I enquired seeing him yawn.

"Not too bad, a scheduled operation in the morning and then consultations. But we had a boring meeting later and it had nothing to do with medicine," he finished and his fingers played with the buttons of my shirt.

"Do you realize what you did to me the last time?" I accused with a murmur.

"What would that be?" He kept toying with the second button.

"See for yourself." I pushed my hair to the back of my head and showed him the hickeys.

Edward`s eyes bulged out, "Christ Almighty, Bella, I`m so sorry. Did I do that to you? I don't remember, I swear…"

"Hey, hey, stop! You didn't hurt me, Edward. Truth be told I like them, they make me feel… yours."

"Bella, a hickey OK, but THREE?" He touched one of the markings delicately, clearly disappointed in himself.

"Baby, I like them, I want them! In fact I wouldn't mind if they never faded!" I exclaimed searching his eyes.

"Alright," he said quietly.

"The only reason I`m telling you is because I wanted you to know how I enjoyed our little sexy time the other night and couldn't wait for more."

Edward`s eyes twinkled and grew dark.

"Even your sister and sister-in-law know what a devil you are," I added smugly.

"And how do they know?"

"We had lunch together today, remember?"

"Fucking sisterhood," he said and pressed his lips to mine.

"I thought you were tired," I mumbled struggling for air.

"Not _that_ tired, Bella," he answered and as the tip of his tongue touched mine, I knew I was gone.

From the corner of my eye I caught the sight of the blanket and the sweet memories raced through my mind. Edward picked me up and we continued kissing, with my feet above the ground.

"I`m flying without wings," I chuckled and he laughed back.

His phone buzzing interrupted our next caress. We continued.

Another buzz… We didn`t stop.

A ring.

Edward glanced at his cell unimpressed.

A ring.

"Argh! Who the hell is it?!" He set me down and picked up the device.

"All OK?" I asked as he frantically pressed buttons.

"It`s my dad. I have a text… Oh, God, no, no, NO!" He ran his hand through his hair in despair. I swallowed thickly.

"Edward, what is it?" I whispered, not knowing exactly how to react. He passed me the phone and covered his face breathing deeply.

"634 at home," I read to myself, my hands started shaking, "What –"

"It`s a code for miscarriage."

"Rose?"

He nodded and I followed him to the hallway.

"I have to go back to the hospital."

"Please let me know what`s happening when you have time, OK?"

"I will."

"I`m so sorry, Edward…"

I looked into his eyes and for the first time I saw that they were filled with tears. He kissed me on the forehead, glanced at the stairs leading to my children`s room and left.

I buttoned up my shirt.

_So, that`s it? This little bean was there, growing in their warm first class apartment and bringing joy to the whole family and then… gone? Just like that? _

I went to my daughters` bedroom and one by one I carried them over to my bed. I lay between them. It was the only way I was going to be able to fall asleep.

The skies outside cried with rain.


	13. Chapter 13

**Warning: The little Incy Wincy/ Itsy Bitsy spider has been washed out by the rain in this chapter. It`s different, I hope you like it.**

**Lots of female, mother talk…**

**Chapter 13 BPOV**

**AND WASHED THE SPIDER OUT**

Parking space was hard to find. It was lunch time and visitors were flowing in and out of the hospital. I entered the building and found Edward waiting for me, checking his phone.

"Hi," I said when he noticed me.

"Bella, how are you?" His face was serious and tired. A little smile flashed through it only momentarily. He squeezed my hand and that was all we could do in the busy hallway.

We walked side by side. I realized that I had never been at Edward`s workplace before. This was his world.

"After you," he prompted me to go into the doctors` lounge. Nobody else was in.

"How is she?" I asked the second he closed the door.

"She appears strong but that`s because she`s still in shock. It`s a defence mechanism. My mom was here this morning," he sighed heavily. "She lost a baby many years ago herself and we thought Rose could relate to her the most."

"Edward, I`m so sorry. I would like to say something else, something better, stronger…"

"I know, Bella …" He touched my arm and I moulded into his chest, "Thank you for coming here. Rose has been asking for you. We didn`t think that Alice parading here now would be the best idea."

"I can`t stop asking why and why them. They wanted that baby so much. They would be the best parents a child could have."

Edward didn`t say a word. He kissed the top of my head while holding me tightly.

"Did you sleep at all?" I said into his chest.

"A couple of hours in the morning. I have one consultation and then I`m gonna go home."

"OK. I`ll go see Rose then."

"I`ll bring you over."

We walked again, passing doctors, nurses and visitors. Some people smiled at us, greeted and bowed.

Edward knocked on the door and pushed it open. Rosalie lay in bed, her hair in disarray, her face pale and expressionless. The sunshine sneaking through the window and onto her features weren`t helping. Pain permeated the air in the room. I could feel it ghosting around and tugging at us.

"Bella," Rosalie said weakly and the moment our eyes met, tears began sliding out of her beautiful sky blue pools.

"Rose," Edward said softly, "is Emmett gone or just outside?"

"He went to the vending machine. I told him to go home. He hasn`t slept at all, Edward…"

"I need to see one patient and then I`ll take Emmett to lunch, so you two ladies can talk."

"Can you please get him out of here for a few hours. He needs a rest," she pleaded and Edward nodded that he would. He kissed my hair and left the room.

Carefully and as quietly as I could I sat down on the chair beside Rosalie`s bed. It must have been where Emmett spent his night and all morning because it stood there facing Rose and literally two inches from the bed`s frame.

_What am I supposed to say now? I want to make it go away, but how?_

Searching for the right words I placed a hand on the sheets, next to Rose`s. She touched my fingers and I opened my palm, letting her hand fall limply into mine.

"I feel so numb… empty," she sobbed silently. The tears started their sad journey again. There was no gushing, no streaming, just a slow steady flow of sorrow.

"I am so sorry, Rose. You didn`t deserve this," I tried to console her somehow and was blurting out the first words that came to my mind.

"They… cleaned me…" she breathed deeply, "cleared me completely."

I rubbed the side of her hand with my thumb. Her engagement and wedding rings shone brightly in the sunshine.

"Everything was fine for five weeks," she took a breath, "and then the levels of hCG started raising very slowly. But I was told that they were still within the limits and it wasn`t that uncommon to have a normal, healthy pregnancy with low hCG levels. I was monitored and got the green light on the trip to Seattle. Carlisle got me tested as we arrived and the levels were the same, nothing changed. We were worried and today I was supposed to have another test."

"There was nothing you could have done, Rose."

"I know," she slipped her hand out of mine and wiped her tears and nose. "They call it spontaneous abortion. Can you imagine, _abortion_? As if I killed my baby. It refers to the mother`s body aborting an unhealthy pregnancy on its own. I suppose it makes sense from that perspective."

"It`s horrible."

"It is. Right from the start, although I had never been pregnant before, it was just… strange. Something wasn`t right though I couldn`t put my finger on it. I didn`t feel that strong connection with the baby. It was early, I know that, but I imagined that bond differently. There was supposed to be this magic right from the beginning of the pregnancy but it wasn't happening… And I was proven right. Anyway, there were two other women admitted here with a miscarriage last night. They were both one week ahead of me and one of them didn't even realize that she was pregnant until the cramps and the bleeding began."

"You knew early."

"I did because I got obsessed, Bella. We`d been trying for over five years and I`m very well acquainted with all sorts of pregnancy tests, I`ve tried them all. If my period was one day late, I`d automatically head for the cabinet in the bathroom. This one time Emmett was going away for three days. We made love and the next morning as soon as I left him at the airport I got back home and took a test. I mean, his swimmers wouldn`t even have had time to reach my uterus and I was already checking if there was a baby in me! I never told him that, I was too ashamed that I had become so desperate."

"I understand, Rose."

She smiled at me. I was glad to see that the tears on her cheeks were drying.

"I managed to stop that craze and tried to relax but how can you relax and not to think about something when you want that very thing the most?"

"I know," I agreed. "But you`ve been in treatment, haven`t you?"

"I`ve had hormones pumped into me for years. I am exhausted and I see what it does to Emmett. I can be bitchy and my mood swings get terrible. I shout at him for the slightest and most stupid thing and seconds later I`m crying my eyes out and my whole body hurts. And every time Emmett holds me, tells me that it`s OK and that he understands. But I don`t know how much more he can take, Bella."

"He loves you, Rose. When it comes to Emmett, you have nothing to worry about."

"I`m constantly pushing him away. He`s only human, how do I know that he won`t snap one day… And now, with this move… He`s so hyped up about the new business and Seattle is so much bigger than Fairbanks and there are a lot of pretty young women here."

"Oh, yeah, _fertile_ women, is this what you mean, Rose?"

She closed her eyes and shook her head.

"That's the most stupid thing you could say, Rosalie. You mean the world and a half to Emmett."

"I know it`s a stupid thing to say," she said resigned. "I`m full of stupid words and thoughts these days. I want him to be happy, Bella. He keeps saying that he could see us with a bunch of three or four little people running around the house and that all will be fine. I imagine Emmett holding a smiling baby in his arms, our baby, every single night before I fall asleep, and the next morning I wake up to this struggle. There`s only so much hope and praying one can take."

"You know what I think? You don't need to be strong all the time. Sometimes somebody else`s faith can be enough for both of you."

"I would like to be able to be weak, let things happen or simply pass me by."

"Float on a cloud?"

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Sounds nice."

"Oh, you can relax, Bella. Your children are healthy, you have a great job… and a man who-"

"Rose, no!"

"What?"

"The children and the job, yes, things couldn`t be better. But Edward…"

"What`s wrong with Edward?"

"Nothing`s wrong with him. On the contrary, he`s perfect," I swallowed and looked away.

"So?"

"Well, we`re not talking about me and Edward now."

"Yes, we are!" Rose exclaimed, "Look, Bella, I`m in the hospital and my life has just fallen apart and my heart split in two yet again. _You_ can distract me, even if for a minute," she pleaded with me with a weak smile. I saw her eyes filling up with those salty drops so I started talking.

"A long time ago I made a decision to raise my children alone. And now Edward came along… He`s so different from the guys I knew before. I feel like I might lose control and become too dependent. And at the same time it feels so good to actually let someone in the driver`s seat. So I`m still fighting between wanting to keep my word to myself and letting go."

"And how`s that working for ya?" She raised her brows.

"Not so well, Dr. Phil," I laughed along with her. "I`m trying to keep it cool and… I don't know, explain to myself that`s it`s OK to date and have fun. But I`m worried that in the end all four of us will get hurt, Edward, I and my children."

"How would you get hurt?"

"If things didn`t work out? I mean, look at Edward, he`s delicious and popular and could have practically any woman he wanted. You should have seen our walk over here to your room. The nurses, the female doctors, even the visitors were eyeing him like he was the best thing since sliced bread. This is _not _good for my self-esteem."

"Excuse me," she frowned theatrically, "but just a few minutes ago someone told me that I was being stupid saying exactly the same things about my husband. Hmm…"

I hang my head in shame. "Rose, I had a seven-year-old relationship. I lived with the guy. I had a regular life, sex a few times a week, bills to pay and things to look forward to. I had hopes and dreams. And then it all ended. One day instead of "Will you marry me?" I heard "Can we take a break, because I`m not sure if this is working out?"

"What the hell?"

"Yeah," I sighed, "Seven years and he `wasn`t sure`. That taught me a lot. It took time to recover but I came out a winner and never looked back. I know I`m strong and independent and I`m extremely happy with my babies, but when I lie in bed at night…"

"You would like a pair of arms around you."

"Yeah." I whispered, "Someone who wouldn`t take advantage of my vulnerabilities and who would see that I`m only human and trying my best, with various results. Most of all though, someone who would be a father figure to my girls. I like to imagine Rachel and Sophie with their Daddy, playing on the swings in the park or the two of them calling him and not me, in the middle of the night, because they had some bad dreams."

"I like that swings in the park image, I`ve been there myself… A cute little girl, just like yours but with Emmett`s dimples in her cheeks, on a swing and I, watching them from a few feet distance with a baby boy in my arms," her eyes stared into space, like as if she were really there in that park with her husband and their sweet treasures.

"I know this is the last thing you want to hear now, Rose, but it can still happen. Now you know that you _can_ get pregnant, it _does _work."

"Last night when I was drugged up and delusional, I thought that it didn`t really matter that much to me anymore if a child didn`t come out of me. What I mean is yes, it _does_ matter but if I can`t have it, then… OK, for some reason it wasn`t meant to be. This pain would always be in me but I want to give my love and care to a child, simply - a child. I have no doubts that Emmett and I can bond with a baby that isn`t biologically ours. Every time I see an abandoned baby on the television Emmett waits for me to pick up the phone, call the hospital and tell them that I`m coming for that baby right away."

"But you have looked into adoption, haven`t you?"

"We talked about it but never really made a decision. Something happened to me last night thought, inside me… and I don`t mean my empty body. We have been trying so hard and for so long and look where it`s got us? I can`t take those hormones anymore, Bella. I can`t look at doctors and the cold tools. I`m sick of my mood swings and it breaks my heart every time I see the look on Emmett`s face when I tell him it didn`t work again. We both feel like failures. What if there is a baby out there who needs a mom and a dad and we could be those parents?"

"So you would like to adopt?"

"At this stage I think it`s our best option. We have a meeting with a counsellor tonight. I need to get through _this_ before I make any new beginnings," she looked at her stomach. "I need to grieve and the one I lost will always be my little angel, but maybe… there is something out there, something, someone…"

"Who needs you?"

"Yes."

We linked our hands again. "Maybe you`re right?"

"Tell me, Bella. I promise it will stay between us. This man you used to be with. Does he have any contact with Rachel and Sophie?"

"No, Martin has nothing to do with my children."

"He`s not their father?"

"No."

"It looks like you and I both have some healing to do."

"You`re right."

"Edward is so lucky to have you, Bella."

"Thank you but I think it`s the other way round."

"You know, you`re fighting it hard but I can see it in your eyes. You know you are losing and I have a sneaky suspicion that you like it."

"What`s in my eyes?"

"Your feelings for Edward, Bella."

"I`m terrified to put a name on them."

"All I can say your thoughts are very similar to Edward`s. I can`t tell you anymore, it`s between you two but don`t be scared, Bella. He`s not that asshole Martin."

I laughed, "That one was a _total _asshole!"

Rose squinted her eyes and thought for a while, then asked me to pass her her handbag,

"Bella, when you look at me, what do you see?" 

I raised my eyebrow in surprise. If I didn`t know her I would say she was vain and fishing for compliments.

"Are you joking?" 

"Bella, what or who do you see?" 

"I see a gorgeously looking woman, sophisticated, loving, with a fantastic man who worships the ground she walks on, funny, witty, smart… Do you want me to go on? How much time do we have?" 

"Thank you but let me show you something." Rose rummaged through her bag and pulled out what looked like and old photograph. She threw it at me. "There."

Quite a round woman about our age smiled at me from the picture. Emmett`s arm held her tightly around her waist as he grinned and his patent dimples sank in his cheeks.

"Well, I know what Emmett looks like. What does it have to do with –" 

"Bella, do you recognize this woman?" 

I looked closely and shook my head. _NO! Can`t be! _"Rose?"

"Yes Bella, it`s me."

"Bullshit. When was this taken?" I looked at the back of the photo. "October fifteenth –" 

"Eight years ago."

_Oh yes, Emmett looks younger_.

"Rose, what are trying to tell me? This woman looks over thirty years old and she`s almost twice your weight. Not that I mind, just stating the fact."

"And the fact is, Bella. This is me in the picture. You can ask Edward, he took it."

I gaped at her, "So, what exactly is the story behind it?" I was really finding it hard to believe that Rosalie wasn`t always a model like looking woman.

"I was a confident and popular girl in high school but struggled with my weight a bit. I wasn`t huge but had a few more wobbly bits here and there than my friends and it was hard. I guess I was bubbly enough and my personality seemed to win me boys anyway. Some of the girls didn't like it. On the outside I might have had plenty of confidence but inside I was fragile. When I worried, I ate. I went to college and met this guy Royce King. My dad always called me his princess so when Royce asked me out I thought that we were going to be together forever, my king and I, his princess or queen. Royce was this very popular, hot guy who broke more hearts than I could count. Imagine how I felt when this god laid his eyes on me. I was a very plain Jane with extra pounds and a fractured ego. But I had Royce King interested in me and felt like I was one of the luckiest girls on the face of the planet. My fairytale was short lived, I have to say. Roy would get rough with me. He would drink, swear and treat me worse and worse as months passed. I thought that everybody had their problems and of course life wasn`t always perfect. I submitted. You don`t know how many women told me how incredibly lucky I was to be with this guy, he was so manly, so `grrr`. I took it as normal. I gave in so many times. He treated me like his toy. He wanted to eat in the middle of the night, I cooked. He wanted a drink, I let him drink and call me names. He wanted sex, he took it…" 

"Rose, no!" I was shivering at the thought of someone treating her that way and worse, that was someone she loved and trusted.

"It`s OK. I didn't exactly say no but that was because I thought it was my responsibility to make him happy. Every time after being rough the next few days he was always remorseful and very sweet. As I said, when I was sad, nervous or upset, I ate. I remember a few girls from my architecture lecture smirking at me and whispering amongst themselves that if I put on any more weight, Roy would leave and they would show him what a real woman was like. On the one hand food was my comfort and on the other I thought that maybe they were right. So I ate even more." 

"What made you stay with him instead of just leaving?" 

"I don't know, Bella. I guess you could ask any woman in an abusive relationship and neither of them would answer you clearly. It`s fear of loneliness, it`s low self-esteem, all those things. Making him leave me seemed like a more probable option than me dumping him. I was too weak to do that. I was a student, I had great parents who loved me dearly, I had friends, I had prospects and I could not leave a pathetic bully. I noticed that Roy surrounded himself with people who were either bullies with no characters, only nasty personalities or ones who submitted to his whims. And I was one of the latter. Eventually I realized that he wasn`t going to break up with me no matter what because no woman in her right mind would take him. He knew that. After four years I finally came to my senses and decided to do it myself." 

"Four years?" I whispered in disbelief.

"Yes, four years. I was twenty four and I had just gotten a new job. I was ecstatic and the thought of renting a little apartment on my own was sinking into my mind. I was just waiting for the right time to tell Roy. Well, ironically life decided to help me make my decision. One night Roy managed to break my nose. He had actually never done anything so drastic before, it was more emotional than physical but that particular night with him, in his drunken state, well… I was in the way. I drove myself to the hospital with blood gushing from my nose while he slept obliviously in our apartment. When he saw me the next morning he didn't believe what I said had happened. Luckily I had a couple of friends there with me packing away my stuff and taking it out of that place as fast as possible. Roy was livid but I wasn't scared anymore. I found a place to live and thought that things could only get better from then on. But Roy had other plans. He would call me and beg for my forgiveness. I changed my number, I had three locks installed on my front door and I was scared. He threatened me so I got a restraint order. Two nights before his court case for the assault he was out drinking with his three `best friends`, guys as pathetic as he was himself. Later on their car crashed into a truck and they were instantly killed." 

"All four?" 

"All four of them. There was no doubt that it was their fault. The truck`s driver ended up with only a few scratches, thank god and I met him a few weeks later. So, not the way I had imagined but I was free of Roy. Although I was new at work, my boss gave me time off and I went to Alaska on holidays. I wanted to breathe some cold, fresh air. I loved it. I loved it so much that when I saw a recruitment agency I went in and, ta da, found an offer for a position in a real estate agency. I got an interview, asked my parents to send fax me CV on and I got the job! Fairbanks isn`t that big so I was lucky to get that position. Nobody there knew me, I was just "Rose". I started breathing again. I also slowly began to lose an excessive fifty pounds." 

"Fifty pounds?"

"I was fifty pounds heavier than I am now. I found a little restaurant where I would go for lunch and coffee sometimes. There was this young man working there…" Rose`s voice got warmer. "He was tall, handsome as hell, with little dimples in his cheeks…" _Emmett,_ I thought to myself. "He was always very nice, polite and smiley. And he called me "beautiful lady". He would come over to my table and ask `And what can I get the beautiful lady today?` I suspected he called that every female customer but it always made my day. I really liked him and started going to that place nearly every day even if for a cup of tea, just to see Emmett. One day he saw me scribbling on a piece of paper and asked what I was drawing. I said it was my dream house. He seemed interested and since I was the only customer in at the time, I asked him to sit beside me. We started talking. Days passed and I was developing some feelings for Emmett. Imagine my surprise when one day he asked if I would like to go hiking with him, his brother who was coming to visit and a couple of his friends! I felt very insecure, but was starving for some company and said yes. That`s how I met Edward. We had the time of our lives. I was worried about Emmett`s friends at the beginning but Edward told me that he didn't know most of those people either so we stuck together for a while."

I felt warmth in my chest hearing his name, while Rose continued…

"I looked at all those great, confident, successful people and felt a bit inadequate. Emmett noticed my funny mood and asked if I was OK. I said `yes` and then he shuffled his feet and blurted out that he noticed that I had been losing weight and he was worried that I was sick! He was worried about me! I told him that I`d had a hard time previously and used food for comfort but the weight loss was intentional and I had fifteen pounds gone, thirty five to go. He sighed with relief and kissed me. Me! Emmett Cullen kissed me, Rosalie Hale! Better yet, at first we didn't realize that Edward saw us. That was embarrassing, let me tell you! I knew that Emmett was a great guy and I was falling for him but I wasn`t sure if I was ready for something serious yet as the previous months were still kind of fresh. The new, slimmer, healthier Rose was trying to get out. My mind was there but my body wasn't and I was getting frustrated. Emmett liked to kiss me, touch me and the closer he was getting, the harder I was pushing him away, angry with myself all at the same time. But you know what, he was there the whole time. Emmett was there, always with a patient smile, a naughty joke and a warm embrace. A couple of months later I realized that if I didn't stop sabotaging what we had, I would lose him. So I told him everything about Roy, the alcohol, the abuse, my weight gain, about my broken dreams and Roy`s death. He said that we would deal with all of that together and that he had feared that I didn't want him. He told me that he was in love with me. I felt the same way about him. I could feel the tension between us but I told him that I didn't want him to see me that heavy. He said I was being silly and that he loved every inch of me but I asked if we could just let the old Rosalie go first. He agreed and for the next few months he cooked the best, the healthiest food for me, he went hiking, swimming and jogging with me. We were the best of friends, laughing, joking, listening to music, talking about cars, watching sports on the television and kissing and cuddling. He never pushed and I was beginning to learn what a wonderful thing togetherness could be. And then one night, exactly ten months after I arrived in Fairbanks I put on a set of lingerie that I had bought with only one thing in mind and I pulled Emmett on top of me on one of the tables at the restaurant."

"Oh my God!"

"He was closing it at night and was there alone, don't worry! I wanted to pick him up and bring him home first but then I saw his smile and couldn't contain my desire anymore. And the rest is history."

"Wow." I breathed out, literally lost for words.

"Bet you didn't know this one about the Cullens, huh?"

"No, I didn't."

"They are keepers, Bella, both Emmett and Edward are keepers. Look at their father, they inherited it from him. And Alice found a man from another `coven` of the same type."

"That`s an amazing story, Rose. I can`t tell you how happy I am that you don`t have to even think about certain people anymore. You went through so much."

"Thank you. I guess everyone has their own story. What I am trying to say Bella is give Edward a chance, please. You both deserve it. All those things that you said about me, successful, beautiful, smart, intelligent, these are all the things that I can say about you. Those are actually Emmett`s words."

"No way!" 

"Yes, we do talk about other things than food, cars and sex." 

"Oh, do you?" I mirrored Rose`s smirk.

"Emmett loves his brother and you, we both do. I have known Edward for eight years and he has never, ever disappointed or failed me in any way. He`s always been nothing but great, but since he met you I feel like there is a side to him that he had never disclosed before. The smiles, the confidence, the calmness and softness in him when you are around or even when he only speaks about you, they amaze me. It takes a really strong guy, a real man who`s confident in his masculinity enough, to show his soft side confidently. Speaking between us, I believe every woman deserves a man who takes pride in taking care of and loving his family. In my eyes that`s a real man."

"Amen. I describe it in the same way."

We talked some more and I left Rose`s room feeling that we had both helped each other`s healing. She was right, everyone has their own story, everyone carries something in them. I admired her strength and I was more than certain that one day and hopefully soon this woman would become a mom. And we would go to the park together and the kids would play in the sandpit and on the swings… I really, really wanted it for her.

I found Edward and Emmett eating lunch in the cafeteria.

"Bella!" Emmett noticed me and stood up.

I rushed over to him and wanted to hold him very tightly but instead it was _him_ squeezing _me _again.

"Hi, Emmett. Sweetheart, I am so sorry for your loss."

"Thank you, Bella. Tell me, how is Rose? How did she seem to you?"

I sat down beside between the men.

"She was tearful and upset for a while but I think she`s stronger that we give credit for. She joked and laughed with me. It will take time, but she`s doing OK."

"Thank you so much for talking to her," Emmett said, "Her mom is going to fly in for a few days and stay with us at my parents` house. Alice wasn`t sure whether she should come here today, she didn`t want her pregnant belly to upset anyone. Edward told Rose that you were asking how she was and she said she would love to see you."

"I`m delighted that you asked me, Emmett and you can call me any time. About Alice though, Rose actually told me that people were walking around her on eggshells and wouldn`t let her see Alice, so you might re-think that one," I reported with a little smile.

"If Rose is fine tonight," Edward threw in, "she`ll go home tomorrow morning and Mom and Dad will take care of her. It`ll be safer for Alice to go to our parents` house instead of coming here. She needs to avoid any possibility of infections in the hospital."

"I talked to her on the phone this morning," said Emmett,. "She wasn`t feeling too well about the fact that her pregnancy is going well and ours didn`t."

"What happened last night was nobody`s fault and Rosalie knows it."

"Thank you, Bella," Emmett repeated and somewhere behind him somebody`s baby cried. Emmett swallowed thickly and closed his eyes, as if trying to drawn it out. Edward and I watched him walk along the corridor and up the stairs to the ward where his wife rested. He was going to say goodbye and promise her he`d come back in a few hours after he had slept and changed his clothes.

I stood there beside Edward and thought about what dark alleys Rose and Emmett were driving through in those moments. I caught the sight of the baby that had cried a minute earlier. It was a little boy and his eyes very clearly and very intently followed Emmett, as if seeing something around him.

Have you ever heard that young children can actually see angels?


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi everyone! Hands up who has a new beta reader! ME, ME! Big hug to bethroann for joining me on this journey (she better leave me a nice review, hehe).**

**BACK HOME**

**Chapter 14 BPOV**

**A SWING IN THE BACKYARD**

"You, mister," I said between kisses, "are delicious, mmm."

"And you, my girl, are yummy…" he nipped at my lip, "What would you say if we sneaked away for one night this weekend?"

"Away for one night?" I frowned for a second, before I realized what he meant, "Oh, you mean… away… for the…Um, I would most probably say yes…"

"Would you?" he dazzled me and smiled his crooked smile.

"I`d ask Kate to look after the girls. Or Maggie, the O`Callaghans are back from Ireland after Christmas. Yes, Edward, I`m saying `yes`."

"Great. There`s this hotel I like..." his kissed me tenderly.

"Is that where you like to bring your women, Edward?" I smirked.

"Yeah," he murmured against my neck, "wait… what? No!"

We both laughed and Edward shook his head.

"The doctors` Christmas ball was held at that hotel last year. Gary and his wife spent the night there. They said it was a great place."

"Great place for what, I wonder?" I smiled. I could swear Edward blushed!

We rested our foreheads against each other.

"I`m sure it will be special every time, Bella…" he whispered, "but that first time… I want it to be just you and I, and nothing else in the world… I`ve never felt this kind of connection with anyone before. I know it`s not a very manly thing to say, but I couldn`t care less."

I closed my eyes. I didn`t know how to put what I felt into words.

"Should we go now? They`re waiting for us…" I finally whispered, pecking the tip of his nose.

"Sure," he winked and smiled crookedly.

"Can I ask you something? I talked to a friend in Phoenix last night, I`m invited to her wedding at the beginning of April and I was wondering if you would like to join me."

"Of course I would! If you give me the exact dates, I`ll book my days off."

"Thank you. Angela was my best friend over there for years, I want to be there for her."

"No problem."

"And show _you_ off to everybody."

He laughed out loud, "No problem again. When is it, early April? I better get back to the gym and get into shape if you wanna show me off!"

The Cullens were waiting for us. Rosalie`s eyes looked a little absent, but in general she looked much better, the color came back to her face and her voice was stronger.

"We`ve decided to stop all the treatments," she said holding Emmett`s hand for emotional support, "My body is exhausted from them and I need a break before I go crazy and pull Emmett down with me."

"Rosie, please," her husband tried to oppose, but she shook her head.

"But we have good news as well. We want to adopt a baby. As soon as we move back to Seattle, we are going to explore that option. I have contacted a couple of agencies and we have a few meetings coming up. We were thinking about renting an apartment for a while, but now I think buying a house would be the best option. There will be social services and whoever else visiting us and checking our living conditions, maybe we could even get two babies? You know, twins aren`t as sought after as single babies…"

"It`s a wonderful idea, Rose," I said. Her eyes twinkled for a second and I took it for a good sign.

"Have you seen any houses yet?" Edward asked, munching on a cracker.

"Two today and we have one tomorrow," Rose answered.

"Did you like any today?" it was Edward again.

"They were nice, but one was too small and the other one was way out of town, getting kids to school and Emmett to work would be a nightmare. And I gotta look for a job, too," she continued.

"Jesus, Rose!" Edward almost choked, "I`m talking rubbish here and I might have something for you! One of the nurses` husband works for DEMPSEY`S ESTATES, it`s one of the largest estate agencies in Seattle. I heard something about retirements coming up, if you want I can find out if they`re recruiting."

"That would be fantastic, Edward, thank you!" Rose`s eyes twinkled again, for a second and a half.

"I`m sorry, I just didn`t know if you felt ready to go back to work," he explained.

"Edward, thank you, but awful things happen all the time. The other day after our counselling session, " she winked at her husband, "I accidentally overheard Emmett saying to the counsellor that he knew what his wife, meaning me, was made of and that we would be more than fine. I thought that if he believed in me so fiercely, then I would too. I could either hide in a corner and stay there forever or as Emmett said, show life what I`m made of; even if I lose a battle, at least I stand up and fight."

"That`s my girl." Emmett declared.

You would wonder which one of them was stronger… A terrific couple.

" `Don`t mess with my kids`, is it, Rose?" Edward said.

"You do _not_ mess with a _mother_, Edward, ever," I stated.

Rose nodded with a tear in her eye, and a gentle smile graced her features.

"You already are a kick ass mom, Rose, you know that?" I said to her, "You better get a big house, because I have a funny feeling that it`s gonna be filled with a bunch of happiest little people in no time. And I`m gonna be sending my two for some life coaching to Auntie Rose!"

Along with Rosalie`s mom we wiped tears from our faces.

"Speaking of little people," Rose said, "I was thinking about a baby shower for Alice, what do you reckon?"

We all looked at each other.

"You wanna throw a party? Isn`t it too early…?" Emmett asked with concern in his eyes.

"No, the baby`s due in ten weeks, the time is perfect. I talked to Esme and we`re gonna do it here. Just a few of us, we`ll ask Alice`s friends to come, too." Rosalie answered as if she didn't know that the concern was about her and not Alice`s due date.

"I`ll help!" I said and Rose`s sky blue pools sparkled one more time today.

The next day Edward called to officially invite me on a night date on Saturday. We were going to go for a meal at this chic hotel and then we would go up to our room and…

make

love.

_love…_

I wanted it. I wanted Edward; there was no doubt about it. We have done this and that to date, and while in the moment, I always felt like ripping every last piece of clothing off him and touching, tasting and feeling him all over me.

Now we had it planned. I had time to think. I don`t know if it was good, because I was turning into a mess again. I couldn't act as if it was nothing; just a one-shot wasn't in question. Both Edward and I were involved emotionally. I have met his family and they have already become mine, too. I wanted Alice in my life, I wanted Rose. Would I be able to keep them if Edward and I didn`t work out?

Evidently there was no reason why we shouldn`t work out, but neurotic Bella had to over-analyze every single detail of what was happening, and drive herself nuts in the process. I was losing control and my natural defences were kicking in. What if Edward is possessive? What if our characters clash in everyday life? What if he disciplines my daughters in a way I don`t like? What if he snores? And have I really just asked myself that last question?

_Stupid, stupid, stupid! That`s what you get for being alone for so long! You become inflexible, picky and panicky._

But it`s hard not to panic when your life is about to change forever. Especially when you recognize that things have been set in motion and there`s nothing you can do about it anymore; I can`t "un-meet" Edward, I can`t turn back time. This avalanche is coming and coming fast! I prayed for a sign.

I got it that Tuesday night. Edward called me on the phone.

"Bella, sweetheart, I`ve just got some news. I have to go to Florida for five days this Saturday afternoon. I`m sorry we won`t have our date…"

"Oh," I exclaimed in a funny voice, "Um, that`s OK, Edward."

"I apologize, Bella, really."

"It`s alright, don`t worry about it. Maybe it`s a sign?"

"A sign?" he asked unsurely.

"Yeah," I croaked out, glad he wasn't looking me in the eyes, "What if it`s not supposed to happen, you know? I mean, not _ever_… just, not now…"

"Bella, the ball is in your court," he stated calmly, "are we still going to see the Whitlocks tomorrow though?"

"Yes, of course!" I said, "Edward, I`m not… my god, I`m not breaking up with you or something, I`m just thinking and… I know it`s stupid. It`s a big step though, it`s a threshold of a new life. After being with you life will never be the same for me."

I could feel him smiling sadly on the other side of the line.

"I would have kissed you senseless right now, my beautiful, silly girl."

"I will see you tomorrow at five, OK?"

"You will. Kiss the girls for me, please?"

I felt so bad for saying those ridiculous words to him. Could I be more immature? I`ve been leading him on and now what, I`m just backing away?

I fell asleep angry with myself and hoping that I didn`t actually sabotage something beautiful.

We went to see the Whitlocks. Alice showed me the nursery for the baby, which Rose had been helping her with. It was wonderful, neutral, all in beige and cream and white. It would fit a little royal!

Alice kept asking me if everything was OK. _Damn, she can read me like an open book._

I kept saying that yes, all was fine. I don`t think she believed me, but she allowed me to steer the conversation away from the awkwardness between her brother and I. I was grateful that Sophie and Rachel were as happy as ever having Edward around.

"Edward, have you any news on Rose`s job? I heard you knew something about recruitments at DEMPSEY`S ESTATES?" Jasper asked as we sat at the table.

"Yeah, one of the nurses` husband works for them. They aren`t recruiting at the moment, but she gave me a name of a smaller agency, DOHERTY`S. They`re said to be good, so we`ll try that one."

"Working for a giant isn`t always good," I said, "you`re just a name to the employer. Smaller firms have more character if you ask me."

"I know what you mean," Edward agreed, "if you meet a good team, you`ll love your job. I saw Rose at work some time ago; she really cares about the properties and her clients. Emmett told me a story once that she nearly lost her job because she had this family who were desperate to get this particular house. Rose found some reasons why she didn`t recommend it to them and stuck to her guns. It was funny, she was a real estate agent, the people wanted to buy a house and she wouldn't sell! Her boss was pissed and took her off the case! He gave that particular transaction to some other agent to deal with and then out of the blue, in a twist that Hollywood wouldn`t be ashamed of, this new property appeared on the market. Rose rang those people and asked if they would meet her one last time, she just wanted to apologize to them face to face. They agreed and met with her. She put them in a car and brought to this new place. They couldn`t take their eyes off it, the location was perfect, the size, the price, the look. So they insisted that she finish the job and praised her insistence up to heaven in front of her boss. That`s Rose for you, she`s painfully determined."

"But she gets what she wants," I said.

"In the end, she does. She`s no quitter. Working for a small agency would suit her."

Edward closed the driver`s door and turned on the radio, it seemed automatic, like he would always do that, get in the car and listen to the news. Usually when driving with the girls, I would chat with them or put on some kids songs. I saw the difference, Edward doesn`t have children and most of the time he drives on his own suiting only himself, whereas I consider what is suitable or unsuitable for young ears.

He pulled out of Alice`s driveway and I heard the radio speaker announcing some gory breaking news. After the first two sentences Edward winced and turned the radio off. I looked at him with a question in my eyes and he smiled at me waving his head at the children in the back seats. "We don`t need to listen to that."

Then he checked on Sophie and Rachel in the rear-view mirror and asked loudly "How are things in the back, ladies?" They nodded with big smiles that things were good. Edward grinned. "How about a song? `The wheels on the bus`, who likes this one?!" After a cheer from the back seats Edward started singing and was soon joined by two happy little girls. His voice was different to mine, louder, though still velvety, in tune, very masculine. The kids were singing and doing actions with their hands and legs, they loved it. How many times have I imagined driving with my family like that, the children, I and… "a he"?. I felt something uncomfortable building up in my throat and in my eyes.

"Mommy, sing with us!" Rachel tried to involve me in their fun and all I wanted was to get out of the car, far away. Far away from him. The three of them were so much at ease with each other, so natural, as if it were their own little bubble. Sophie and Rachel were my children and in a bubble with that man; so happy that I almost felt like I didn`t belong there. All I ever wanted was that kind of a bubble, a sweet, cute, comfortable little world for Rachel and Sophie, with mommy and a daddy and now when I saw the three faces lost in a song I wanted nothing more than burst that balloon and get out. I wanted to get out and run. Run away from him. Run from his perfection. Run from his comfort. I wanted to run away from Edward and I wanted him to stop me. I wanted him to stop me and hold me tightly, very tightly.

"Mommy, Mommy!" Rachel tried to get my attention again. Edward glanced at me while singing and it was too late to hide, I`m sure he saw my traitor tears. He gave me a worried look and turned away, letting me deal with my emotions. He looked at the girls` reflections in the mirror again and grinned. "Rachel, Mommy is tired, angel. What else happens on the bus?" He continued as if nothing happened. Seconds later his singing picked up again. "The lions on the bus go `roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar`, the lions on the bus go `roar, roar, roar`, all day long!" The kids started to laugh and Edward continued. "The frogs on the bus go `gribbit, gribbit, gribbit, gribbit, gribbit, gribbit, gribbit, gribbit, gribbit`, the frogs on the bus go `gribbit, gribbit, gribbit` all day long!" Sophie and Rachel were laughing hysterically, Edward was having the time of his life and I couldn`t resist, I chuckled through the wetness in my eyes. He gave me the quickest glance.

"That`s a funny bus!" Sophie managed to articulate through her fits of laughter.

"I know!" Edward exclaimed.

I turned my head to him and he answered my unspoken question. "Hugo".

"Oh, I see". I nodded. Of course, he would take care of Alice`s son sometimes, he was comfortable around young children, joking with them and making up silly songs to pass the time in traffic. And it didn`t look like he was trying hard. From the corner of my eye I saw his long, slender fingers wrapped around the steering wheel, his blue shirt rising and falling as he breathed, his bronze hair resting softly around his face, his lips twisted in a grin, his eyes smiling. He was happy, he looked happy, naturally, genuinely happy, like this moment was the highlight of his day. And I was irretrievably, irreversibly and irrevocably in love with him.

Edward unbuckled Rachel while I helped Sophie. I opened the door to the house, helped the children out of their shoes and let them go to their bedroom. Meanwhile Edward took the girls` seats out of his car and brought them to my living room. I avoided his eyes, but we moved around each other very easily as if we had known one another for a long time and learned our own routine.

"May I say goodnight to the girls?" He asked my back as I was heading to the kitchen.

I turned around quickly and glanced at him briefly. "Sure."

He nodded and took two steps at a time up the stairs.

Two minutes later I was near the door, hanging up the coats that I`d thrown carelessly on the floor coming in. He walked downstairs. Out of the blue he had me pinned to the wall. He kept his hands to his sides and nudged me with his nose. Instinctively I lifted my head and Edward`s lips crushed on mine. He moved gently, but firmly and I was losing my mind. The heat in my stomach ignited instantly and I gasped. He heard it.

"Good night, Bella." He whispered against my lips. I still didn`t look at him and still, he saw right through me.

"Good night." I breathed out. He pulled away and opened the door. "Thank you!" I blurted out a bit louder. He nodded and closed the door behind him.

I hung up Sophie`s jacket that I had been clutching in my hand and dragged my wobbly legs to my daughters` bedroom. I was at the top of the stairs when I heard his car pulling out of my driveway. I sighed and swallowed hard. _Calm down, heart, please, calm down. _

Sleep didn`t come easily that night. I performed a dissection of my mind and soul. I had to be true and honest with myself. I had been feeding my mind with some garbage for years. Some guy left me after seven years, so what!? I survived. Furthermore, I`m thriving now and don't care about him the tiniest bit! I have two daughters, who at this moment I would like to be like Rose and not me. I`ve been doing things with Rachel and Sophie in mind every day. If I want them to be happy, confident and to love life then who are they supposed to learn it from, some lame tv shows? I want them to want to be like _me_. So, if it doesn`t work out between Edward and I, I will suffer for a while and then move on. Alice, Rose, Esme, my own mom are all strong, sophisticated, ballsy women and so am I. I can take risks. I make decisions and take responsibilities for them. I wanna show life what I`m made of again. And I wanna have sex with Edward Cullen. If it doesn`t work the way I would like it to, then whatever, we`re talking about some moaning and groaning, not turning the world upside down. And if it does work between us and we become a couple, then… we`ll have more sex, lots and lots of sex… Oh god, save me from myself.

I texted him.

`Edward, if you can`t do Saturday, then how about Friday night, my house? Kate will take the girls for the night.`

Silence.

Silence.

Nothing…

A message tone.

`Friday it is ;-) `

My hormones were raging in me all day Thursday. I was tired, impatient, I felt sore and anxious. Couldn`t sleep all night. I was hot, five minutes later I felt cold, a minute on I was roasting again. I had cramps and my stomach twisted. Talk about excitement!

I dragged myself to the bathroom half an hour before my alarm went off. There was no point in tossing in bed anymore.

I went in… and then I understood why I had been feeling so funny. It wasn`t excitement, oh, no, I was PMS-ing!

_Three whole days too early? Thanks a lot! Well, that`s just great! Aaaargh!_

_What is he gonna think of me, huh? HUH?! Why me? Why now?_

Disgusted, I stomped into the shower.

Later I got the children ready for school and the night over at Kate`s. They were excited and I was disappointed. But serves me right. I couldn`t make up my mind for so long, and now life is laughing at me.

I came back from work earlier and took a nap. _At least we will be able to talk and I won`t fall asleep on him._

"Edward, I have to tell you something and… you won`t be happy," I confessed that night after our meal.

"I could never be unhappy with you, Bella," he murmured to me.

_Well, darling, you are about to, I assure you._

He leaned in for a kiss. His tongue slowly caressed my lower lip. _I love when you do that!_ I knew I shouldn`t have but I opened my mouth and let him in. Instantly the heat in my mouth matched the one forming quickly in my stomach and between my legs. _Oh, God, Edward don`t stop! _Instinctively I pulled him closer. _Why Bella, why? Push him away, don`t pull him closer!_ I felt his hardness pressing against my stomach. We both wore jeans and I could still feel it. _Oh. My. God._ I shouldn`t. I know I shouldn`t_. Edward, don`t stop! Bella, stop him, now!_

"Edward -." I managed to break the kiss. His heavy-lidded eyes met mine. "I`m sorry, I can`t." I gasped quietly.

"Oh." He was still just two inches away. "OK." He reluctantly pulled away but there was something in his eyes, is it pain? Anger? Disappointment?

"Edward…" I pleaded.

"It`s OK, Bella, you`ve changed your mind, I understand."

"No, you don`t." I said a bit louder. "Please, let me explain"

"I thought we were -"

I grabbed him by his shirt, pulled closer and kissed him hard, then quickly, before I got lost in him again, I pulled away and pressed my forehead against his. He closed his eyes. _So beautiful._

"I want you, Edward. It`s just not the best time…"

"Bella -"

"Let me finish, please." His eyes were now fixed on mine. The heat hit my cheeks and he smiled gently and sadly. _How do I say this?_ "I started my period this morning and I just wouldn`t feel… comfortable…" I closed my eyes in embarrassment, but opened them when I felt his body shaking slightly. His little smile changed into his trademark crooked grin and then he laughed intimately, just between us, without breaking the contact of our foreheads. I blushed again. I was somewhat relieved but confused.

"I`m glad I amuse you."

"I`m sorry, Bella. I just thought the worst, but now that you have explained -"

"The worst? What could be worse than this? We are both willing and I just can`t… perform. The last couple of months have been messy and stressful and I`m just a bit… irregular at the moment. I wasn't expecting it today." _OK, enough of this blushing!_

Edward laughed again, shortly and sweetly. He brushed my cheek with his thumb, his forehead still touching mine. "I love it when you blush." _He loves it!_ _Oh, for the love of all that`s holy! This god is standing right here, all willing and ready, I can feel his glorious hardness against me, I`m wet like hell, there is nobody around and I had to get my period today?! Why?! _

"For a moment there I thought you didn`t want this. I thought you were rejecting me." He finished.

_Rejecting you?!_

"Rejecting you? Have you any idea what you do to me every time you`re near me?"

"Enlighten me, please, I would love to know." He said with fake innocence.

"Edward, please, that`s just cruel."

"Cruel?"

"Yes, cruel. You`re just too close and I`m too..."

"Too… what, Bella?" _Tease!_

With the last straw of strength I had I pulled away and let go of his shirt. Instantly I felt like I`d cut myself in half.

"Will you wait for me? A couple of days?"

His smile was disarming. "Bella, I`ve waited… a long time. A few of days won`t make a difference. I will be away anyway" He reached his arms out. "Come here." I found myself in his gentle, warm embrace.

"I`m sorry." I murmured into his chest. Edward chuckled.

"Stop." He murmured quietly with a smile. His chin rested on my head and one of his hands drew soothing circles on my lower back. No man ever, has done that for me. I was blushing a moment ago and now I felt like crying.

We watched some television together and then talked until I couldn`t fight my eyes closing any more. We lay in my bed and Edward pulled me closely to him. I listened to his heartbeat and fell asleep while he tenderly massaged my back.

I woke up to the sounds of clanking in the kitchen. Immediately my heart raced, someone was in my house! Then I looked at the sheets beside me and remembered last night. Edward.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"Hey, lovely, how are you?" his velvety voice reached me from the door, "going somewhere?"

"I was going to look for you in the kitchen…" I yawned.

He laughed and kissed me on the nose, "No need to get out of bed. I`m here, hop back in."

I listened and helped Edward set the breakfast tray on the bed. We sat beside each other.

"I`m gonna miss you for these few days," I sad sadly, which earned me a soothing smile and a rub on the arm.

"Me too, baby. I wasn`t on the list for that conference, but the doctor who was supposed to go had a family situation. It was sudden. I had no choice."

"I know, it`s fine."

All too soon he had to go. We stood by the door for a few minutes, kissing, hugging and cuddling. Last night was amazing. He was sweet, tender and giving, and I couldn`t get enough of him. His heart sang me a beautiful, intimate song and his hands kept me warm and made me his. Sure, we weren`t naked and sweaty and we didn`t lose our minds, but if anyone asked me what we did last night, I would say we made love.

Five days sounded like five months, but Sophie and Rachel kept me busy. On top of that, on Saturday night Rose called me, then on Sunday morning I talked to Mom, later on to Dad. How do my parents always call on the same day, I don`t know. Mike Newton also got in touch and asked how things were. Edward called a couple of times. I was happy. I felt free and I wanted to move forward.

Monday morning was cold and crispy. I drove the girls to school and headed for the office. Meetings with the illustrators flew by and I was hungry.

"Hello, gorgeous mommy!" I called to Alice from the door. We were going for lunch together and I was picking her up from the boutique.

She was standing in front of a mirror, with her back to me.

"Oh!" she suddenly jumped, startled, "Bella, hi!"

"Admiring ourselves, are we?" I joked and pecked her on the cheek.

Alice blushed and fluttered her eyes. I frowned.

"Everything OK?"

"Aha."

I stared her down until she looked at me.

And then I saw it, a tiny dress in her hand. She had it pressed to her expanding stomach, her hand holding it in place gently.

"You can`t tell anyone, Bella," she whispered to me in conspiracy, "Jasper doesn`t know."

A victorious smile flashed through my face, "A girl?" I mouthed voicelessly.

Alice nodded.

I winked at her and made a sign for zipping up my lips and throwing away the key.

She`s having a baby girl!

"How`s Rose doing?" I asked as we ordered our meal.

"She`s alright, given the circumstances. New things to look forward to, which is lovely."

"And she`s still going to that counsellor?"

"She is. I overheard that she`s also talking about her past and the guy she used to be with..."

"Roy. Yeah, she told me about him. It`s a nasty thing to say but I`m glad that he`s gone forever."

"Oh, believe me Bella, it`s nothing nasty, it`s true and simple. He was a nasty piece of shit and I`m delighted that neither Rose nor any other woman in the world has to fear him or his buddies."

"You`re right," I said in agreement.

"So, anyway, Rose went to a counsellor years ago for a little while, after the whole thing with that guy happened, but she says now that she resisted and held back a lot. She said to me the other day that since her body got cleared, she wants to also clear her soul."

"That`s good. She must be feeling strong enough to do that though, especially in the vulnerable state that she`s in at the moment. An incredible woman," I stated and the look on Alice`s face told me that she shared my opinion.

"She even asked Emmett to go with her tomorrow. If they`re gonna bring a child into their family, she wants it to be a brand new beginning for all of them."

"I bet they`ll end up with a whole bunch of amazing kiddos and have a blast for decades."

"Amen," Alice said, "But you know, Rose bumped into Edward`s ex the other day. She was at the mall and Lauren recognized her… Sorry, I shouldn`t be talking about her."

"I don`t mind. Edward said he would tell me the story, but I forgot all about it."

"Oh, yeah, you met Lauren`s parents at the ball, I remember now."

"That`s right. So, what happened at the mall?"

"Rose was shopping with her mom and Lauren came over to say hello. They started chatting and Lauren told Rose that poor her, she just had an hour to sneak out of the house to some shopping, because her nanny was minding her two younger kids and she was in a rush to breastfeed her three-month-old, blah, blah, blah…" Alice rolled her eyes. I laughed.

"She has three children," Alice continued, "she`s busy, fair play, I understand that. With Lauren though it`s not _what _she says, it`s more _how _she says things. Like she`s a freaking martyr. But listen to this, she talks and talks and then she asks Rose when she`s going to make Emmett a daddy! Imagine, out of all times they had to meet right now!"

"And what did Rose say to her?"

"That they were busy now, with the move and the new restaurant and the children will happen at the right time."

"Good for her! She must have felt horrible though."

"Of course she did. Thank god Rose`s mom was there with her, she told me the story. But that`s not the end, Lauren proceeds to laugh and tell Rose that she should get going soon, because she`s not getting any younger! What are we, Bridget freaking Jones or something?!"

"That`s just awfully insensitive."

"I know! I wish people would think twice before blurting out something like that these days. In fairness, we all do that from time to time, but there are so many couples having problems conceiving a baby, that it`s just… I don`t know, maybe that was Lauren`s moment, she was trying to make a joke." Alice sighed heavily.

"Didn`t work."

"Not at all. I have to say I`m one of the lucky women; Hugo is the most wonderful little boy, but still he was a surprise and now with this one," she patted her belly, "Jasper and I talked about having another child for a while, we made our final decision and wham!, literally days later I was pregnant. But I`m aware that it`s not that easy for many people and I would expect someone like Lauren to know that."

"I`m like you, I wanted a baby and ta da, I have two… So, anyway, what does Lauren do for a living? I know she`s married to a financial advisor, but what about herself?"

"She did finances, too. Probably that`s how she met her husband."

"Did she and Edward go out for long?"

"About two years but it`s an ancient story, Bella, nothing to worry about," she smiled at me warmly.

"Oh, I`m not worried, just curious."

"They met through our dads, as you know Lauren`s father is a doctor, too."

"I do," I nodded.

"It must have been… um…" Alice searched her memory, "Emmett and Rose met just after that… a little over eight years ago. Lauren is two years younger than Edward, so she must have been about twenty four and Edward was twenty six. She sort of attached herself to my brother. He was a young doctor, who was working and studying very hard. He dated a few girls and tried to have a social life, he even went through this funny, maybe a little cocky stage, when he talked and acted like his buddies. Thank god he got bored quickly, it just wasn`t his style. He met Lauren and they sort of became an item. They were both busy, trying to build a life for themselves, and Edward simply didn`t have time to go out and look for someone."

"So, what broke them up?"

"Lauren is a nice person, but status is everything to her. Edward brought her over to London once, to introduce us to each other and to show Lauren a bit of England. She was into fashion and Edward thought that she and I would hit it off. I have to say I was excited for him to have a steady girl and she sounded fun, I was looking forward to meeting her. For a few days it was great, I was in my element showing them round and talking with Lauren. Then I realized that yes she was into fashion, but that was basically _all _she was interested in. She got so into it at some point that she even dreamed out loud about how I would become this world class designer and she would be my financial advisor and oh, imagine the shows and parties _we_ would throw together and millions of pounds and dollars _we_ would make."

"Oh, dear," I said.

"Yeah!" Alice chuckled, "she`s likeable, but you get tired after a while. She and Edward never lived together and never talked about the future, so he was surprised when she began describing what kind of an engagement ring she would like. Edward knew that he wanted a family of his own and the fact that she did too tickled him nicely, but he realized that didn`t necessarily see Lauren as his wife, so he broke up with her. Now she has what she wanted, a husband and three sons, but I`m glad Edward isn`t that husband."

"I`m not exactly devastated either," I laughed.

"Good for us all! I remember when Lauren saw Rose`s pictures from the time when Rose was losing the excess weight. Again, like with pregnancy, you don't know why a woman doesn`t have children, maybe she simply doesn`t want them or maybe she is sick, and comments like `your husband clearly needs a few lessons` are just terribly rude and out of line. The same with weight, what if someone has some medical condition and they will never be a svelte model? Or maybe they like being `big, blonde and beautiful`, what does it matter anyway? It would be like me saying that blue eyes are better than green, it doesn`t make sense."

"I agree. You understand teenagers thinking in certain ways, but when you get out into the world there`s a bit more too life than that."

"True. Again, it could have just been a faux pas, but we showed Lauren a picture of a girl my brother was going out with and she immediately labelled Rose`s clothes as unflattering `given her weight`. She had no idea that Rose had been comfort eating for years but she was quick with her assumptions. Mom said that it was clear that Rose didn`t fit into Lauren`s picture. Don`t get me wrong Bella, Lauren isn`t some witch who wrapped Edward round her little finger. Most of the time she is a really nice woman, she just has a different outlook on life and it didn`t match Edward`s in the end."

"OK."

"She could be the sweetest person and then suddenly she would accuse Rose of losing weight and getting her career back on track to catch Emmett and get his money. All very subtly of course, but we`re not stupid."

"She thought Rose was with Emmett for his money?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Well, yes," Alice explained, "Emmett worked his butt off to get where he is today, he got some money from Mom and Dad, but he invested it well and is making a good living. But Lauren, working in finances must have found out that our family has been in real estate business for centuries and some good money has been passed on from one generation to another, so in her mind Rose must have found out about it and…" Alice waived her hand.

"Ah, that`s just stupid. You all went to college and have what you have thanks to your own work and not your ancestors` money."

"Isn`t it funny though that she would say something like that about Rose while doing the exact same thing herself? I mean, Edward never told her about the family inheritance, so she must have dug out about us."

"She doesn`t exactly sound like a nice person, Alice."

Alice chuckled, "You would be surprised how likeable she appears to be, Bella! You can`t hate her, but it`s hard to love her. She just lacks sensitivity. You`ve met her mother, Lauren is just like her."

"Her mom seemed lovely," I admitted, remembering Jennifer from the ball.

"See? Let`s just say Edward broke up with Lauren, but when he meets her somewhere in town, he doesn`t run to the other side of the street. He saw her a few months ago and said that her two boys were cute and she looked happy. And of course she was pregnant with the third boy at that time."

"Hmm," I thought out loud, "that`s interesting, because when we met at the ball Jennifer said that Lauren was married with three kids, like as if Edward didn`t know about it."

"Darling, that information wasn`t for Edward, she most likely was saying that to _you_! Jennifer saw Edward as an extremely good suitor for Lauren, she was fuming after the break up, so she wanted to rub it into _your_ face now."

"Like I cared."

"Exactly. Mom was glad that Jennifer didn`t interrogate you. She wouldn`t want to irk my mother like she did in the past."

"She didn`t. Tell me, has there been anyone else in Edward`s life I should know about?" I grew curious.

"There was Tanya. She was completely different to Lauren. Tanya is a doctor; she and Edward worked in the same hospital in Phoenix. They hooked up fast and rented an apartment together. The thing was, Tanya wanted to be with Edward, but she never wanted a family. Edward at that stage was sure that eventually he did want a house full of kids, with a fence and swings in the backyard. Tanya would say that if there was someone hanging on her boob, she wanted it to be a grown up man and not a child. She`s quick, witty, very smart, but completely not the type for Edward. He was really into her and felt bad that she cut his wings all the time when it came to talking about the future."

"I wonder why he stayed with her then."

"He was hoping that she would eventually change her mind; that if he showed her that he could be trusted and dependable and he was patient and understanding, she would feel safe and happy and would decide to settle down with him. But it didn`t happen."

"That must have been tough on him."

"It was hard. He wouldn`t admit it, but I think he really wanted Tanya and she crushed his heart. I only met her twice, but the difference between Lauren and Tanya was striking and Edward`s attitude was a hundred and eighty turn. Hugo was born during that time and my brother was crazy about him. He came to see us in London, he became Hugo`s godfather, he came to my and Jasper`s wedding. We would connect via Skype and send tons of photos of the little one to Edward. Tanya wasn`t into it one bit, while Hugo had woken the daddy in Edward, it was painfully obvious. So eventually they split and soon after Edward moved back to Seattle. There was someone here for a while, but nothing serious. And now there is you, Bella," Alice finished with a smile.

I smiled back, "You think I`m this dream woman for Edward?"

"Do you really need to ask?"

"Well, I have a house with a fence and a swing in the backyard, so maybe?"


	15. Chapter 15

**Most of this chapter was written over a year ago when I was personally dealing with a situation similar to Bella`s. Broken water pipes are no fun! **

**It`s my secretly favourite chappy, so let`s get on with it, shall we? bethroann, mwah! ;-)**

**BACK HOME**

**Chapter 15 BPOV**

**MASTER CHOPIN WOULD HAVE BEEN PROUD**

Edward was back and so was our hunger for one another, but life had its own ideas yet again.

Our computer system at work broke down for two days and I was up to my tonsils with updates. Meetings with translators were also my domain. I was knackered night after night.

Edward and I managed to meet a couple of times for an hour or two, just enough to put Sophie and Rachel to bed and have a make out session. The `blanket` happened again, _twice_, and I was giddy for days after each time.

One day the girls and I were invited over to Edward`s for dinner. I realized that I had never been to his apartment before!

It was Wednesday and Kate had a day off. I collected the children from school and we went grocery shopping, and then back to Twilight Avenue.

As I opened the door, the girls ran in and I asked them to wash hands. I went out to the car to take the shopping bags out, waved at the workers across the road and came back to the house.

"Mommy, look, no water!" Rachel`s voice reached me as I was hanging up our jackets.

"Pardon, baby?"

"Uh oh! No water, Mommy!" Sophie came out of our downstairs bathroom.

I walked over to see Rachel fiddling with the tap switch. There wasn`t a drop coming out. I winced and went into the kitchen. Something gurgled in the tap and that was it.

"What`s happened here?" I said out loud. _Not good._

_The guys outside! _I ordered the children to stay in the living room and ran out to talk to the workers.

"Two of the underground pipes burst and we`re fixing them.I`m afraid you`ll have no water for about three days. We had to turn off the mains on the road. There was a substantial loss before the problem was discovered and it`ll take time to build up the levels afterwards." 

"Oh shoot, I have small children, what about cooking and washing?" I wondered to myself.

"I`m sorry, ma`am. You could buy bottled water or maybe stay with family or friends?"

"Hmm, thank you."

_Shit, I have to cancel tonight._ I dialled Edward`s number.

"Edward hi, it`s Bella here."

"Bella, hi, are you OK?" 

"No, not really. I mean I`m OK, but my house isn't. Some pipes burst on our road, so the mains are turned off for three days. I have to go to the store to get some bottled water for cooking and at least brushing our teeth for the next three days. I`m so sorry but I have to cancel tonight, I hope you`re not too disappointed."

"It`s OK, Bella, there will be other times. Wait, you won`t have water for three days?"

"Afraid so. The guys are working outside as we speak, but it will take some time."

"How are the girls?" 

"They`re fine. I have to take them back to the store –"

"Bella, stay with me." 

"Sorry?"

"Come over and stay with me." 

"Edward, I have two small children, I can`t just –"

"Of course you can! I mean, I have water, I have two spare bedrooms, I see no problem."

"Edward, that`s really kind, but I don't want to be trouble, I mean the girls can be messy and loud -" 

"Bella, I`m not going to force you into anything, but can you imagine boiling bottled water to wash the dishes and bathe the children for three days?" 

"We are not that delicate, Edward." I giggled.

"I know you`re a superwoman, but do you want to live in a house with blocked toilets because you can`t flush them?"

_Oh yeah, blocked toilets, yuck!_

"God, you`re right. We had it blocked for one day in Phoenix and it was no fun."

"So pack some clothes and toys and come over, it`ll be alright."

I couldn't say no. I would have managed on my own, but I had to make sure that the girls were clean. I told them what was going to happen. They excitedly picked up their favorite toys and bedtime stories while I threw some clothes and toiletries into a suitcase. Edward`s place was only half an hour away and I could come back at any time if we needed anything. Knocking on the door interrupted my packing.

"Hi, thought you might use some help." Edward said with a wide smile, standing in my doorway. I managed to smile back before Rachel and Sophie almost knocked me over running to him.

"We are going on _anavensure_!" Sophie shouted to him, her eyes shining with excitement.

"An adventure." I mouthed to confused Edward.

"Are you?", he kneeled down and kissed each girl on the forehead, "May I join you, please?"

Sophie looked at him matter-of-factly, "We are going to your house!"

"Oh, right!", he made a surprised face, "In that case we better get going!"

"You are silly", Sophie giggled to him as he picked her up and carried to my car.

Edward put our bags into his Volvo and I followed with the children.

I gasped and opened my eyes wide when we entered the apartment. It was big, spacious and filled with expensive furniture. My house was white, yellow, orange and red, whereas Edward had his place painted and decorated warm and snugly with various shades of brown and green. And he had a piano. I had seen him play in his parents` house at Christmas, but it was still somehow surprising to see a piano in _his_ apartment.

"I`ll show you to the bedrooms." He said, pointing down the hallway. Rachel and Sophie clutched Iggy and Mooky and followed behind me like little ducklings. I was pleasantly surprised; they usually run amok any place.

Edward carried our bags to one of the rooms at the end of the corridor. It was supposed to be my bedroom for the next three nights. I loved it. The room next door was where Edward thought the girls could stay. There was a large bed in the middle which he wanted to push over to the wall and put heavy chairs on the other side, so the children wouldn't slip off at night. I refused anything in the room being disturbed, but Edward insisted and by the time I was back from an emergency toilet run with Sophie, the bed had already been moved and Rachel was bouncing up and down on it rather happily. Edward was standing beside the bed, holding her hands as she jumped.

"Rachel Swan, what are you doing jumping on the bed?" I asked.

"Bella, she`s just trying it out, I suggested it myself." Edward responded softly, pleading with me. I made a cross face at him, but he just winked.

"I won`t do it alone, Mommy!" Rachel promised.

I looked at Edward questioningly. "Wow, you have her trained already?"

"What can I say, I`m a natural," he winked at me again, "Hugo stays here sometimes and we have rules," he added. _Of course, Hugo. _

'That`s my bedroom." Edward pointed at the door across from `mine`. It was left ajar.

"Do you have a big bed?" Rachel was curious.

I opened my mouth to stop her asking too many questions, but Edward was quicker. "I do, you can go in and see."

I gave him another disapproving look, but he followed my daughters in and nudged me while whispering to my ear "It`s just a room Bella, there`s nothing there that they shouldn't see."

"But it`s a private room, Edward. They`ll be all over you in a heartbeat."

"Sweetheart, this place needs some life and laughter, just let me enjoy it, please." _He called me sweetheart again. Please, kill me now._

The room was large, with a wardrobe, shelves filled with books and magazines on one side and a huge bed on the other. Beautiful wooden frame, dark comforters and blankets, it looked luxurious.

Edward invited us to the kitchen and I offered him help with cooking. The girls got some paper and sat down at the coffee table in the adjacent dining room and began to draw. I could tell Edward liked to cook, his kitchen was well equipped and he moved around it easily. We talked to the girls and each other as we prepared the meal. I brought the groceries I had bought earlier with me, so after the delicious spaghetti Bolognese and salad we tucked into the girls` favorite vanilla ice cream, which turned out to be Edward`s favorite, too. It struck me again how fluidly he and I moved around each other, our bodies were like satellites, automatically adjusting to one another, and never in each other`s way. Sophie and Rachel behaved like angels. When they presented us with their scribbles, Edward proudly stuck the little pieces of art to the fridge door. He had this kind, warm and caring presence, but the girls could feel that there were boundaries they would rather not cross.

"This place is beautiful, Edward." I said when he brought me towels for the children later on. "The colors, the fabrics, pictures, vases, it`s all so tasteful." 

"Thank you. What can I say, my mom and Alice had a lot of fun."

"Well, they did a great job, I really love it. And there`s a lot of brown."

He looked into my eyes and murmured, "I told you, chocolate brown is my favorite color."

I cleared my throat. He went to the kitchen and I gave my children a bath and put them into pajamas. We read a story and they asked for goodnight kisses from Edward. I watched him embrace them one at a time, then kiss the forehead, left cheek, right cheek, chin, nose and forehead again. He remembered the routine perfectly. He tucked the girls and their ever so important soft toys into bed. The three of them looked so close, so comfortable together. After reassuring them that Mommy was just next door and they could come to me at any time, we pulled two armchairs to the outside of the bed to keep Rachel safe. Sophie pressed her back against the wall, she was OK.

"Edward, thank you so much for this and I am sorry about the hassle." 

"Bella, this is no hassle, I invited you and I`m glad you accepted so I didn't have to carry gallons and gallons of water to your house."

I winced. "Why would you carry gallons of water to my house?" 

"Do you think I would have let you go back and forth to the store and carry the bottles in if you had decided to stay in your house?"

_OK, my panties are officially ruined. This guy makes me wet just talking about silly things like plastic bottles filled with water. Those bottles can be heavy, I bet you he would get sweaty… Shit, shit, shit! I need a shower._

"Do you mind if I change, I`m a bit tired."

"Make yourself at home, Bella. I put some fresh towels on your bed." 

I came back to the living room washed and dressed in pajama bottoms and a chunky cardigan over my tank top. Edward was sitting on the couch reading what looked like a medical magazine.

"Oh, hi. I`m gonna have to leave early," he said, "I`ll give you the spare keys and the security code for the entrance door downstairs." 

"Thank you."

"Feel free to take and use anything in the house whether it`s food or the washing machine or whatever else." He noticed my reluctance. "Seriously, Bella please do not hesitate, this is you home, OK?"

I sat beside him and had some tea. Edward stretched his legs out and placed his feet on a small stool in front of him, I curled my legs underneath me on the couch and we watched television. Halfway through some movie I felt sleepy and my head slipped onto Edward`s arm. My eyes flung open.

"Sorry, I drifted off," I picked myself up.

"I`m not complaining," he said quietly right into my ear and his breath tickled my neck.

He moved closer and locked his lips with mine. I don't know what it is about this man, but even the smallest lip brush creates this burning in my stomach. We knew that we wouldn't follow through, not tonight, but our kissing grew needy nevertheless. Our tongues danced, my fingers tangled in Edward`s hair and he rubbed my sides with his hands. Our breathing was picking up, but I couldn`t stop thinking about the children being so close. Turns out both Edward and I have some sense of self perseverance, because we pulled away at the same time.

"I`m sorry…" I panted. God, there and then I wanted nothing more than to be in his arms.

"Shhh Bella –" 

"Mommy?!" just as I thought that maybe the children wouldn't hear us if we decided to continue anyway, I heard Sophie`s voice. She wanted to go to the bathroom and woke up in an unfamiliar place, poor thing.

I tucked her back into bed and went to the living room. I stood behind the couch where Edward sat, I leaned down and ran my hand through his hair while whispering into his ear "I`m afraid I have to leave you now, I`m going to bed."

He smiled then turned his head around and kissed me on the forehead. "Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward."

I left my door open slightly in case my cheeky monkeys needed me. I could see a low streak of light in the hallway coming from the living room. I closed my eyes and a minute later heard the bedroom door across from mine close. The lights were off.

When my alarm clock went off I couldn't believe I had slept through the night without a single interruption. Neither of the girls needed to use the toilet and I didn't even hear Edward getting up and leaving for work. I ensured the beds were made and we three girls didn't leave any mess in the kitchen. Edward had been a godsend by welcoming us into his home and I didn't want him to regret that decision. I drove the children to school and made my way to work. Kate was going to keep the children at her house after school and I would collect them on the way back to Edward`s place.

Just after ten, as I got back to my desk after a morning meeting, I was alerted to a text message from Edward on my phone.

`Was everything OK this morning?` read the text message from him as I sat down at my office desk.

I typed back `All went great, thank you. You were so quiet I didn`t hear you leave.`

`Good, I didn`t want to wake you. I`ll be in at 5, any dinner requests?`

`Edward, that`s really too much…-` I didn't have a chance to finish when my phone rang. Edward`s ID popped on the display.

"Hi there, I was just typing you a message."

"Hi. Since we`re both free at the moment I`d rather hear you voice. So, how did you sleep?" 

"Great in fact, thank you. The girls slept the whole night through and I didn't hear you this morning at all. Did you walk around in the dark?"

"No, I had the light on in the kitchen and the radio was on." 

"I heard nothing." 

"Good. So, I`m taking dinner orders ma`am, any requests?" 

"Edward –" 

"Do you like fish?" He cut me off.

"I do." 

"Are the girls OK with fish? Hugo hates the smell."

"They do like fish. I`m collecting them from Kate`s house after work, so we`ll be home before six." 

"Alright, see you then."

_We`ll be home before six. Home…Such a lovely, warm word… _

I found myself so excited all day long that I didn't feel the hours fly by. In a flash I was out the door and rushing to see my babies.

"Hi, Kate, thank you so much for this evening. How are you?" 

"I`m fine. I`ve heard a lot of stories from the girls today," she winked at me.

"What stories?" I blushed, the stories were about Edward`s house for sure.

"Edward has a big bed and they jumped on it and he has a piano and likes vanilla ice cream and this and that …" She rolled her eyes.

I chuckled and got attacked by two ducklings that were ready to go home. They made me swear that we were going to Edward`s house.

We opened the door. I didn't know if I was supposed to use the key when he was home, but my daughters threatened to leave pee pools in the elevator and I didn't want to take chances.

Edward saw us coming in. "Hi girls, how are you all?!" He kneeled down and my little monkeys slammed their bodies into him. The joy in those three pairs of eyes didn't escape my notice. I walked over to him and he stood up.

"How are you, beautiful?" he asked in a low voice and kissed me on the lips. I fluttered my eyes.

We looked down at the two giggling girls. They saw the kiss.

"I better bring them to the loo." I said.

"Mommy, are you getting married?" Rachel asked me while washing hands.

"No, baby. Why are you asking?" 

"Edward kissed you, so you have to marry him." She added knowingly and I smiled to myself. I should have seen this one coming.

"Girls, when you kiss somebody it doesn't mean that you are going to get married. It just means that you like this person very much."

"But people have germs," she argued, unconsciously touching her lips.

"Does Edward have germs?" Sophie joined the discussion.

_Oh, here we go._

"He does, but if you only kiss one person then they are special and it doesn't really matter. But only grown-ups do

it." _Don't you two get funny ideas. _

"Mommy, do you have a baby in your tummy?" Trust Sophie to drop a bomb!

"No, I don't."

"Why?" 

"I just… don't. Maybe one day…" 

"Jane is getting a baby brother." Sophie informed me. Jane and her brother Alec were the other twin set in their class.

"Oh, that`s very exciting! And you saw mommy and Edward kiss and you thought I was having a baby?"

Two heads nodded fervently. _How do I put it?_

"Let`s just say that mommy and Edward like each other very much, OK? But we are not getting married and mommy doesn't have a baby in her tummy." I said gently, looking into their green and brown eyes.

"I want a baby brother." Rachel said with a sigh. _Shoot me now._

During dinner I asked Edward about the piano and he said that he liked playing the classics and composed a bit of his own stuff as well. He promised to play for us and when the girls were changed into pajamas, we snuggled on the couch while Edward sat on the bench and began to play.

We saw his right profile and I found myself in another world. He was beautiful. His tall silhouette was a sight to behold, his eyes focused on the keys, his slender fingers stroking gently, lips pouting. He was in his own bubble, concentrated and serious. I didn't know the composition he played first, but wouldn't dare interrupt him to ask. The girls settled and soon their eyes were drooping. It was quiet and calm and the soft melodies that Edward chose to play evened my breathing and my heartbeat; I felt wonderful. This was what I had always wanted, a home where the twins and I would be welcomed with a warm smile, talking and joking at the dinner table and then a reassuring time before bed, whether it be passionate whispers or a calm piano concert. I wanted to ruffle Edward`s messy hair and hold him.

Edward turned to look at us and smiled at Sophie and Rachel`s sleeping shapes.

"Wonderful, Edward, Master Chopin would have been proud," I said quietly.

"You recognized Chopin?" his brows rose.

"I did. Remember, we listened to Chopin at my house some time ago, too? Nocturnes are our favorites, C-sharp minor, opus seventy two - number one, opus nine - numbers one and two, `one` being the girls` preference. You name them, these two monkeys know them as well as their nursery rhymes" I pointed at the sleeping children, "They mix up the numbers and don`t really know what they mean, but they recognize the tunes very well. I listened to them religiously when I was pregnant. They were my personal lullabies."

"I`ve written a lullaby recently," he said.

"The first piece you played tonight?"

"Uhm."

"It`s exquisite, Edward."

"Thank you."

"I would love the girls to learn how to play the piano," I confessed, looking dreamily at the instrument

"No problem, I can teach them," he declared, "It`s amazing what you`re saying about them, Bella."

"Have I told you about Sophie educating her Montessori teacher a few weeks ago?"

"No?" Edward`s eyes sparkled.

I chuckled, "The children were singing `Twinkle, twinkle, little star` and my daughter informed her teacher Emma that the song was "_tomposst" by _Mozart."

"Haha! Good girl, Sophie! Did her teacher know that?"

"Oh she did, but she was stunned that a two-and-a-half-year-old knew it. Of course she has little idea what composing means but say an interesting word to her and she`ll feel like a big girl and use it at any occasion to impress you," I smiled proudly and glided my hand through Sophie`s hair.

"And I am indeed, very impressed," Edward said. "So, they listen to Mozart as well as Chopin?"

"And Vivaldi, we like the `Four seasons`," I added as a matter of fact.

"Wow. And they can tell the pieces apart?"

"Totally! That`s school though, not me. They did a dancing to `Winter` and the teacher told them to imagine being snowflakes and that the weather was freezing cold and windy. I accidentally put a Vivaldi CD on at home and they started dancing and telling me what they were doing. I thought it was a great idea, you can really feel and hear the different seasons, you know?"

"I do."

"In the morning you should ask the girls to sing the French version of `Twinkle, twinkle` for you. I mean, it`s not really the same, the words are completely different, but the tune is the original. This was actually earlier than the English version.

"You are joking me!"

"No. Just ask them, they`ll show off very happily."

Edward studied my face with a smile and looked at the two small bodies pressing into me.

"Are you squashed?" he asked.

"A little bit," I nodded. 

"Do you want me to help you carry them to bed?" 

"If you don't mind." 

He shook his head and walked over to lift Sophie off the couch and me. She shrugged, gasped and I thought she was awake, but she quickly snuggled into Edward`s chest and let out a quiet snore. He smiled and held her tightly. I followed him with Rachel in my arms. She fidgeted a bit, but relaxed quickly. Sophie looked so happy and safe in Edward`s long arms, with just her little legs dangling as she was carried to the bedroom. _Wow, she`s so close to his chest, my daughter is luckier than I am._

A minute later we came out of the bedroom.

"Will you play some more, please?"

"Of course." He took me by the hand and we walked to the living room. I got seated me beside him on the bench.

"Could you play that lullaby again, please?"

"With pleasure," he smiled, examining my face once more.

"Is it for Alice`s baby?"

"Um… no, but it`s a good idea. This one is… for you," he said quietly.

I blinked my eyes, "For me?"

"Yes, I called it `Bella`s lullaby`," he whispered.

"You composed a beautiful piece of music especially for me?"

"Yes."

Slowly, I held his face with my shaky hands and touched his lips with mine.

Then he played. My lullaby.

_God, how I love this man. Can I have him forever? Can I be his? I _want_ to be his. _

I watched Edward`s fingers hitting the keys and envied them. When the music finished I turned to him and kissed below his ear. I didn't stop, I sucked on his earlobe before he managed to turn his head to me and his lips found mine. I whimpered into his mouth and he grunted. My insides were burning.

"Bella –"

Just then I heard a little voice calling mommy. It was Rachel.

"Come on baby, let`s go to the bathroom," I took her by the hand. Seconds later Sophie joined us and hopefully after that run they would both be down for the night.

As I left their bedroom I heard Edward bustling about in the kitchen.

"Are they alright?" he asked.

"Uhm," I answered and pressed my body into his. He embraced me and I wanted to stay there for eternity.

Without breaking our closeness, Edward reached for the light switch on the wall and turned it off. I took him by the hand and we walked to my bedroom.

It was dark. I lay on the bed and pulled Edward along with me. I found his hands in the darkness and linked them with mine. He freed one of them and let it roam around my chest, down my side and along my hip. Our breathing was heavy, but we were in control. The proximity of my children was preventing us from allowing our senses drive us into insanity. I wove my fingers into Edward`s hair as he swept his tongue lazily across my neck and a little lower, pushing away the fabric of my top. I figured this must be his favorite part of me, because he lingered there every time he got close to me. I felt his hand caressing the underside of my knee, before seconds later it continued its sensual journey down my leg. All of a sudden he grasped my calf firmly and dragged my leg up to his hips, where he hitched it. A loud moan escaped me involuntarily.

"Edward!"

"Shhh…" he chuckled against my neck, "Yes, it`s me, sweetheart and I like when you say my name like that."

My eyes had gotten used to darkness and I looked at him, two inches away from me. His face was stretched into a victorious smirk. I felt my own features mirroring his triumphant grimace.

"Edward!" I moaned theatrically, just for effect. He glanced at me frowning, probably wondering what planet I was from.

"Say again, I didn`t hear," he demanded flirtatiously.

_Oh, joining the game, are we?_

"Edward!" I acted dramatically again.

"Again," he said stoically and I could see the corners of his lips quivering.

"Edward," I whispered looking deeply into his green pieces of heaven, "Edward, Edward, Edward…"

He couldn`t keep his face straight anymore; his body shuddered as he burst out laughing above me. I felt fucking proud of myself.

Edward turned and pulled me on top of him.

"You better remember this name, `cos when we`re finally alone, I`m gonna make you repeat it rather unconsciously," he muttered softly.

I rubbed my nose against his, "You are, baby, without a shadow of a doubt."

Our eyes met and Edward swallowed thickly. I slipped down and rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He played with my hair and rubbed my lower back.

"Mmm… that`s nice, Edward…" I breathed out quietly.

"What is?"

"The back rubbing. Rachel loves that, too, it helps her fall asleep."

"When I was a child, my mom would rub my forehead till my eyes rolled back and closed. Two minutes and I was gone."

I lifted my head to see him, "You`re kidding me, that`s what I do to Sophie! The back rubbing doesn`t work on her, but the forehead, just as you said, two minutes and she`s in sleepland. Rachel for a change keeps following my hand and it agitates her."

"They are funny little things," Edward smiled.

"Yeah," I agreed, "You know, I should change into my pajamas. Will you wait here?"

"Where ever else would I go, Bella?" he winked at me.

I kissed him quickly on the mouth and got up.

A quick shower later I dressed, brushed my teeth and looked in the mirror. The girl smiled back at me. Her cheeks were pink, her eyes twinkled and her chestnut brown hair fell softly around her face. She was in love and happy.

Edward had put the bedside lamp on and was browsing through some childrens` book that the girls had left in my room earlier on.

"Hi there," he dazzled me and patted the space on the bed beside him.

"Hi yourself, handsome," I bit my lip and scrambled in to join him.

"Welcome back," he kissed me longingly. _OK, I`m gonna need another shower in a minute._

Edward flicked the light off and pulled me closer to him.

"Bella, I`m around in the morning, I can get the children ready and bring them to school if you want to take it easy." 

"Well, I`m going to work, so I`ll be up anyway…"

"It`s really not a problem. Don't rush yourself in the morning, I`ll be in the kitchen with the girls and you can join us for breakfast when you`re ready, OK?"

"OK, I will. That actually sounds lovely, thank you," I agreed and yawned, which earned me a gentle chuckle from my man.

"Sleep well, my Bella," he whispered in my hair.

When my alarm went off in the morning, I stretched lazily. For the next quarter of an hour I looked around the room, replayed in my mind what had been happening lately and basked in the warmth of the bed.

My door was closed, so I presumed that the rest of the house was up and Edward was letting me sleep. It was bizarre and sweet at the same time to have someone else taking care of the children in the morning. I could just walk into the shower instead of running, and dry my hair as opposed to rushing out the door with half-damp streaks. Feeling warm water running down my body on a cold January Friday was fabulous. I pulled my hair up and pinned it, got dressed and put a bit more effort into my makeup. I walked down the hall and heard three voices that warmed my heart. Breakfast was in full swing with the girls sitting at the table, dressed in color coordinated clothes (_he is Alice`s brother after all), _their hair brushed and happy grins plastered on their faces.

"Mommy! Mommy! Look what we have!"

"Well hello duckies, how are you? What do you have?" I pulled the girls into squeezy hugs and winked at Edward.

Rachel rushed to explain "We have cornflakes and toast and jam and honey and strawberries and apples and bananas and…" she looked around confused.

"Tea and coffee…" Edward helped her.

"And juice and milk!" She was out of breath and I laughed.

"It looks amazing, guys!" I mouthed `thank you` to Edward. He waved me off like it was nothing as I walked over to him. He was leaning against the counter, all fresh and crisp and smelling delicious, with a cup in his hand.

"Good morning," I said to him softly.

"Good morning, Bella. By the way, breakfast doesn't look as nearly as amazing as you."

I blushed at the compliment. "Thank you."

I kissed him on the cheek, then poured some coffee into a cup and sat down at the table. He took a seat opposite me.

"Bella, I`m performing one operation today and will be finished by one. I can pick up the girls if you want. Jasper is bringing Hugo to the gallery, they`re showing some works especially for children, it could be fun. We could collect you from work and maybe have dinner with the Alice and Jazz? If you have other plans, there will be no hard feelings, I promise." He slapped his hand over his heart. "Alice called me late last night and suggested it when you were already asleep. I didn't want to disturb you."

"Well, if the girls want to go to the gallery, I have nothing against." 

"Yay!" I heard from all three of them. _Should I be worried about this team of cheekies? Are they _with_ me or _against_ me? And would there be any difference?_

"Before we go anywhere though," I said, "girls, will we sing the French song for Edward, the one about the little boy who wants to eat sweets for dinner?"

"Yay, yay!" two young people clapped their hands and Edward`s eyes opened wide as we began.

`Ah! vous dirai-je, Maman,

ce qui cause mon tourment.

Papa veut que je demande

de la soupe et de la viande…

Moi, je dis que les bonbons

valent mieux que le mignons!`

We finished and I turned to look at Edward. He was gaping at us with his mouth open.

"Edward?" I tried to get his attention.

He blinked a few times. "Wow! Bravo! C`est magnifique!" he exclaimed.

"Vous parlez francais!" I said looking at him.

"Oh, non, un petit peu," he answered shyly.

"OK," I smiled.

"Girls, that was unbelievable! _You_ are unbelievable! Excellent! I am such a lucky man to have you."

Rachel and Sophie beamed. They love this man and his approval means the world to them.

I called the school and told them that Mr. Edward Cullen would be bringing the children in and picking them up today.

I was going to leave the office at four o`clock and it couldn't come fast enough. I knew that Edward had collected the children from school before one p.m. because my daughters called me from a restaurant where they were having lunch with Jasper and Hugo! _Well, I`m glad some people are enjoying life! _ They were going to the gallery afterwards.

The last two days had been fantastic. I slept like a stone, not a bother in the world. I had worried how the girls would take being away from home but it was completely unnecessary. To be truthful, I should be freaking out about how they`ll feel about going back to our house and away from Edward!

At four o`clock precisely I heard familiar voices outside my office door and a moment later three smiley faces peeked in. Not wasting any time they were spilling the details of their day and Edward was just as bad as the little duckies. I was presented with paintings, drawings and modelling clay figurines, the artsy effects of the afternoon spent at the gallery.

Again, I followed Edward and the girls in my car. The children felt totally at home at his place and as soon as we opened the door, they set out their baby dolls and toy bottles on the living room carpet. I changed my clothes and sat down on the couch with a paper and Edward was working in his office.

_A blissful Friday evening._

At half past five we got into Edward`s Volvo and drove to Alice and Jasper`s for dinner. Edward told me that Rachel and Sophie had taken a nap in the car on the way from the gallery to my work, so I expected them to be rested and easy while visiting Alice.

Hugo showed me what he had made at the gallery earlier in the day. He was older than the girls and was able to tell me about the paintings and sculptures that they were shown.

We had our meal and talked non-stop from our jobs to the country`s finances.

"Oh, you three wait now," Alice pointed at her husband, her brother and I, "I don`t wanna miss this, but we need something sweet to eat if we`re gonna talk money."

We both slipped out to the kitchen to get dessert.

"It will take a good while before we finish _that_ conversation." Alice winked and giggled as she put the kettle on.

"Mummy?" Hugo walked in behind us, "Daddy says I can have some blackberry juice?"

"Sure, pet," Alice smiled at her boy and picked a few garden peas from her unfinished salad, "Here, do you want to bring these to our Chopsy-Mopsy?"

"Mum, his name is Chompy, remember?" Hugo said resigned and took the green balls from Alice.

She winked at me and said to her son, "Of course I remember. I know his name is Chompy, but I just like to call him Chopsy-Mopsy, it`s my pet name for him. Is that alright?"

"It`s OK," the boy turned and rushed out of the kitchen with a smile on his face. Clearly he didn`t mind his mother`s antics.

"Did he just roll his eyes at me?" Alice asked me, her brows rising up.

"I think so, but not in a bad way," I chuckled.

"Oh, give me patience with my two boys!" she lamented jokingly and rolled her eyes, "I just did it myself, didn`t I?" she frowned.

I laughed. "You definitely did!"

"Anyway, I see things between two certain people are going well," she met my eyes with a wink.

"Well, I`m… what do you want me to say?" I blushed and nervously gnawed on my lower lip.

"Your daughters seem very happy and comfortable and you are so… radiant," she said reaching my soul with her blue eyes.

"Thank you. With the girls it`s a bit scary, Alice." 

"What makes it scary?" 

"Edward and I are not exactly a couple… -" I didn`t know where to begin.

"Not a couple?" Her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

"No. I mean, we haven't… crossed certain lines and haven't talked about, you know, `us` yet," I blurted out and sighed loudly.

"Bella, you look and behave like an ideal family. Let me just tell you one thing, a certain somebody adores you."

"And likewise."

She threw her fists in the air silently; one would have thought she had just won a million dollars!

Soon after dessert Rachel climbed onto Edward`s lap and snuggled to his chest. Just a few minutes later her features relaxed, she had fallen asleep. Edward held her closely and placed one foot on a chair next to his, so the child wouldn't slip off, and carried on with the conversation as if that was the most natural thing in the world and he did it every night. Warmth kept spilling all over my heart at the sight of them. Sophie was fascinated by the collection of Hugo`s toy cars which he generously shared with her throughout our visit, but eventually she too rubbed her eyes and came to me. In no time she was in Sleepland as well. We stayed for another half hour, and then placed the two sleepyheads in their car seats and Edward brought us home, I mean, to his apartment.

We carried the children to bed. I stayed to loosen their clothes to make them as comfortable as possible without waking them, while Edward went to the kitchen to brew some tea.

He was talking over the phone when I entered the room. His face bore a somber expression and it reminded me of the day when Rose was brought to the hospital.

"Are you alright?" I glanced at him, worried, as he put the cell down on the counter.

"The patient I operated on this morning just died."

My heart jumped up to my throat.

"Oh, Edward, I`m so sorry. Can I do anything to help?"

He smiled at me sadly, "You are already doing it, honey," he welcomed me in his arms though it was _I_ who wanted to hug _him_ this time, "Just your being here means more than you know."

"Then I`ll stay as long as you want me to," I declared, "Tell me about this patient."

"He came to us a few days ago, from a car crash. Other teams put together his ribs and legs and this morning I operated on his broken nose and jaw. He took it well and was recovering OK, but had too much internal damage, started bleeding profusely and it couldn`t be stopped."

"My god, that`s so sad."

"I know. He was a nice, funny guy, who just made a stupid mistake of drunken driving and sometimes life doesn`t forgive that."

"But losing patients doesn`t happen often in your ward, does it?"

"Very rarely. Scheduled operations are fine. Victims of accidents or violence are at more risk, because they usually have other injuries as well. Like this man today, he died because of internal bleeding, not as a result of my surgery on him."

"I see," I said stepping out of his embrace, "Come, we`ll have some tea."

We put the jug with caramel colored drink on the table and Edward took out some cookies from the press. I prompted him to sit on a chair. Standing behind him, I placed my hands on his arms and worked my way up to his shoulders, kneading and massaging his tense muscles.

"This is wonderful, Bella, thank you."

"Just relax."

After a minute or two Edward`s head dropped forward. I nuzzled his hair and kissed the back of his neck, just underneath the hairline.

He sighed deeply.

"Do you realize this is our last night here? I`ll be going home with the girls tomorrow."

"Noooooo," he groaned lazily.

I giggled and put my chin on top of his head, and let my hands snake down onto his chest in front of him. He covered my hands with his. It felt so good… My mind drifted… I knew that I wouldn`t sleep tonight, I was going to plot how to damage those pipes indefinitely!

_Just imagine, I would never have to leave this apartment…_

"Bella?"

"Bella?"

"Hm?" I suddenly woke up, "Yes?"

"Did you hear what I said?" Edward asked smiling.

"No, sorry?" I winced.

"I said I was going to break those pipes permanently," he said.

I let out a chuckle. Edward turned me around and I found myself on his lap.

"I`ve just had the same thought," I laughed and leaned in for a kiss.

**SOOOOOOO? I bet Edward enjoyed that massage! **

**The rough translation of the French song that Sophie and Rachel sang goes like this:**

**Oh, Mummy, I will tell you**

**What causes my torment**

**Daddy says I should ask**

**For soup and meat**

**But I say that sweets**

**Are better than "mignons".**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 BPOV**

**TO PROFESS: "TO MAKE AN OPEN DECLARATION"**

"More, more!" Sophie exclaimed as I finished reading a bedtime story.

"Are you sure, baby? Isn`t it really late now?" I croaked and cleared my throat. I was exhausted and achy and wanted to go to bed early.

"Daisy book, Mommy," Rachel passed me the tale featuring their favorite duck.

It seemed like my pleading had been ignored and I was too tired to argue, so I opened "Come on, Daisy" and began reading. Two small, warm bodies snuggled into me and together we accompanied the little duckling as she found herself too busy to listen to her momma and got lost.

A few minutes later we said our prayers, kissed goodnight and I turned off the lights in my babies` bedroom.

I found it hard to swallow, so I headed for the medicine cabinet hoping to find some lozenges. Just as I was about to pop one into my mouth, my phone rang.

"Bella, sweetie, how are you?"

"Hi, Mom, what a surprise!" I smiled to the receiver and put the tablet on the coffee table beside the couch.

"Hi, baby. You don`t sound too good, is everything alright?" Renee sounded concerned.

"I`m OK, just a sore throat, I`ll be fine. How about yourself? How`s Phil?"

"He`s fine, but… I have some sad news, Bella," she sighed deeply and I sensed she had been crying.

"Oh no, Anne`s husband?" I asked carefully.

"Yes, he passed away this morning, sweetie," my mom said sadly.

"Mom, I`m so sorry. My god, it must be so difficult for Anne now."

"It is. We all knew it was coming, but we`re devastated anyway."

"I know, nothing can ever prepare us for these things," I tried to console Mom. "So, you and Phil will be busy now?"

"Yes. We`ve been helping for some time already, but now there`s the funeral to be taken care of and Anne herself. I stayed with her for most of the day today and Phil has been dealing with the formalities. Anne`s next door neighbor will stay with her tonight."

"OK. Please, pass on my condolences. I will give her a call in a week or two. Let`s give her some time first."

"Thank you, Bella, of course."

We continued for another while, until I found it quite hard to speak. After sucking on that lozenge I took some painkillers for my achy muscles and lay in bed. Wanting to check if my alarm clock was switched on I pressed a button on my cell and to my delight I found an unread message from Edward. I must have missed it coming when I was in the bathroom. He was at the hospital.

`Hi Honey, it`s crazy here, very busy tonight. I can`t remember when I slept last. How are you? I`m sorry I missed the girls` bedtime : -( E.`

I laughed at that "E." at the end. _As if I didn`t know who you are…_

`I gave them extra kisses from you : -) I have muscle pains and a sore throat and would do with a kiss as well… B.`

`I`m right there with you, Baby. Take something for the pain. I miss you. E.`

`Me too. Going to sleep now. See you in my dreams. B.`

`Goodnight, love. See you tomorrow. E.`

Edward had been working double shifts to get some time off next week to fly to Alaska. Emmett`s restaurant was going to be ready a lot earlier than he had expected; however it meant that he would be extremely busy and unable to focus on anything else for some time. At the same time Rose got a new job at DOHERTY`S ESTATES. She wasn`t pining for it and went for the interview very relaxed and only for the experience; but two hours later she came back with a pre-contract in her hand! She was over the moon, but the job was starting less than two weeks later, which meant a bit of trouble…

Originally the plan was to buy the venue for the restaurant and find an apartment to rent, and then go back to Alaska to sell the house, pack and move slowly to Seattle. However, they ended up buying a different place for the restaurant than planned, which worked out brilliantly. The location is much better and the place had been a café up till the past couple of weeks, so there was no need to bring in builders, extend the place or put in a kitchen, because it was all already there. It saved Emmett plenty of time and money and he was in his element, flying around all smiley and joyful. And of course, the first chats with the adoption agencies that Rose and Emmett visited went flying well and they both wanted to get their new life going. Esme and Carlisle decided that their son and his wife should stay with them until they bought their own new house. There was no point in renting an apartment for two or three months; the Cullens` house is big enough to get lost in it, so space is not an issue at all.

Rose and Emmett had to go to Fairbanks and pack their stuff as soon as possible, before they both started their new jobs. Rosalie wouldn`t be able to stay in Alaska for more than a couple of days and Emmett didn`t want her to do much physical work, so he asked Edward and Jasper if they would be able to help.

In the end Esme decided to join the gang; she was going to make sure that the boys didn't get carried away and mistreat any breakable items in the process of packing. She would also help Rose set the selling of their little house in motion. The rest was going to be taken care of by Rose`s ex-work colleagues. Edward told me that his parents were giving the young Cullens half of the money for their new place in Seattle. I offered them money myself, I wanted them to succeed so badly. Their determination was astounding. Every time I looked at them, in my mind I already saw them in a beautiful new home with a bunch of giggly kids.

I was glad that the girls slept through the night because I certainly didn`t. By morning my throat was on fire and my tonsils were covered in white mucus. I gagged when I saw it in the mirror. Unfortunately Rachel and Sophie didn`t get any kisses from Mommy; I brought them to school and as soon as I arrived in the office I called a doctor to make a lunchtime appointment. I called Doctor Cullen, Carlisle of course. Luckily he said he would see me whenever I got there.

My colleagues who stopped by to talk to me, one by one shook their heads and said I looked flushed and generally unwell and that I shouldn`t wait till midday to see the doctor. With my two meetings with authors rescheduled, I made a quick phone call to Jack over in Phoenix and left "Newton Publishing".

All I wanted was to lie down. And die. Carlisle was with a patient, so I sat in the waiting room for a few minutes and messaged his son.

`Hi, you won`t believe where I am; at your dad`s office! It`s most likely tonsillitis, I feel awful.`

"Miss Swan?" the lovely, neatly dressed receptionist smiled at me warmly, "Doctor Cullen will see you now."

I tried to thank her, but all that came out of my mouth was a voiceless whisper. She nodded and showed me the way.

"Bella, my girl," Carlisle stood up to welcome me, "Oh, you don`t look too well."

"I know. I keep hearing that this morning," I croaked out hoarsely.

He asked me to sit so he could examine me. Did you know that you no longer say "aaaaaaa" when the doctor`s checking your throat? You say "oooooo" instead or at least that`s what I was required to do. Carlisle`s blue eyes watched me carefully and his warm hands made me feel safe and better already; must be a doctor thing. I got some Ibuprofen to reduce fever straight away; and yes, I had "beautiful, classic tonsillitis" as my physician described it. _Yay, lucky Bella!_

Edward`s dad sat at the computer to print my prescription and asked if I was allergic to penicillin.

"So, antibiotics?" I asked.

"Yes, I`m afraid so Bella, for seven days," he smiled, "You should feel as good as new in a couple of days, but finish the course please, OK?"

"Of course," I agreed with a bow.

"And also remember if you`re taking the contraceptive pill, the antibiotics may decrease its effectiveness; I would suggest additional protection now and for a week afterwards, alright?" he added with a straight doctor face focused on his computer screen, all the while causing my face break in a beetroot blush. My temperature must have spiked up to heaven.

_Did he just say that to me? I know he has to say that, it`s procedure, but for the love of all that`s holy he`s Edward`s father! _

I cleared my throat in response. I really, REALLY wanted to get out of there!

_Talk about embarrassment! _

There is a pharmacy near Carlisle`s office, so I got my medicine there and went back to the car. I was deteriorating and needed to go to bed. It was just after eleven a.m. Kate was taking the evening off to study, so I would be alone with two little girls… Not good.

My cell buzzed, announcing a text message from Edward.

`Tonsillitis is nasty! Take care of yourself, Sweetheart and I`ll check on you this evening. E.`

_He`s probably in between consultations now…_

Pulling over at the house I was waved at by my next door neighbor.

"Hi, Bella, how are you doing? Having lunch at home?"

"Hi, Siobhan," I answered locking the car, "No, I`m just back from the doctor. I have a bad case of tonsillitis. I`m feeling terrible."

"Ooh," she winced, "not nice."

"No. I just wanna go lie down before Kate brings the children back from school. I`m on my own with them tonight, hopefully I`ll be good enough to –"

Siobhan cut me off with her motherly, no-nonsense voice, "You`re on your own?! Oh, Bella, you need to rest! Do you want me to take the girls for a few hours this evening? I will feed them and bring them back just before bedtime and I can be on call if you need help during the night…"

"I`ll be OK, thank you -"

Again, she didn`t let me finish, "You`ll be OK?! Look at you, you`re leaning against the car like you`re going to slide down any second! Don`t be daft, I`ll take the girls and you`ll sleep it off; sleep is the best medicine. Liam is away on business at the moment, so Maggie and I will have a great time with Sophie and Rachel, don`t worry."

"Siobhan, " I said weakly, "you are an angel. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I will ask Kate to bring them to you then. If there are any problems, tears or tantrums, give me a call and I`ll deal with them, OK?"

"We`ll be fine, Bella!" Siobhan smiled and hugged me.

My work attire landed on the floor, for once I didn`t care. I put on a pair of pajamas, swallowed the first tablet of antibiotics and plunked myself on the bed. Half an hour later Kate came back with groceries. We talked for a while about the arrangements for the evening. She offered to stay with the children, but I said there was no need to change her plans. She needed to study and Rachel and Sophie would be more than OK with the O`Callaghans. After that, Kate let me rest while she busied herself with cooking.

I don`t remember when I fell asleep. To my mind it was only seconds, but when I woke up to the sounds of my children`s voices downstairs I realized it was half past two in the afternoon. Kate must have told them that I wasn't well, because they hopped around my groggy head telling me that they were going to play with Maggie. I was relieved that they were excited about it. We exchanged hugs and I was alone again.

An hour later an incoming text message woke me up.

`I`m on my way over. E.`

Inside I smiled; I had missed Edward so much. On the outside however I was close to asking him to just go home and rest instead of bothering coming to see me. I felt as if all the strength in my muscles had left me; I was so weak and woozy. I dragged my legs to the front door as Edward`s car pulled in.

"Hi, gorgeous!" He smiled but as soon as he saw me, his face dropped, "My god, Bella, get back inside!"

He stepped in and closed the door and then, holding my hand he led me into the living room where he ordered me to lie down.

"What did you get for it?" he asked pointing at my throat.

I huffed repeatedly as if I had just run a marathon, I felt so weak. I told Edward what his dad prescribed for me.

"I was hoping to feel better, but to be honest I wanna die."

He smiled faintly and nodded, "This stuff is really good, but it knocks most people out for a day or two. It`s normal."

"I had tonsillitis a few years ago, but it felt a lot different, I didn`t have muscle pains and this weakness. I can barely lift my own hand, Edward."

"Must have been a different strand of the same bacteria or maybe you got some other medication for it back then. Did you take any pain killers?"

"I wasn`t sure if I was allowed; I forgot to ask your dad…"

"OK, well, there`s no problem, you can take Tylenol, it will help the weakness. Have you eaten?"

"Not much, I`m not hungry."

"Alright. It`s good to nibble on something, it doesn`t have to be a big meal, small pieces of bread will do."

He pressed his expert hand to my forehead.

"You feel very hot, Bella," he said and glanced at my flannel pjs, "Why don`t you change into lighter clothes and I`ll get you some pain killers? Just tell me where you keep your medicine box."

"I can`t move, Edward. There`s no way I can go upstairs to get something else to wear," I breathed out heavily. God, I felt like I was roasting! And this time it wasn`t because the hottest guy on Earth was kneeling down beside the couch where I lay down. That bacteria was making itself at home in my body and if it weren`t for my children, I would have gladly given up, just to take away the wooziness and lack of energy.

"Then tell me where to look and I`ll get you something, you stay put," he stated simply, without a shadow of a sexy sparkle in his eyes at the prospect of going through my underwear drawers. This wasn`t man to woman, this was human to human and I couldn`t have thought higher of Edward for that fact.

I told him where my pajamas were and he popped up to my bedroom. He came back with a simple set of grey cotton tank top and shorts for me. Then he helped me change. He searched for any sign of pain as he freed me off my buttoned, long sleeved pajama top while ignoring the sight of my bare breasts swaying mere inches from his face. The shorts went over my panties, also without any unnecessary movements from me and only one lingering glance from my caretaker.

"There, it will help you cool down. I`ll give you some painkillers now."

"Edward, thank you so much, but you should go home, you`ve just finished another double shift," I let out, allowing my head fall heavily against the back of the couch.

"Bella, be reasonable. It`s not a sin to ask for help, you know? You`re unwell, in pain and weak and I wanna help."

I looked at him through my half closed eyes, "OK. You`re very kind Edward, thank you."

"You`re welcome," he said, "So, is Kate minding the girls? Do you want me to pick them up?"

"No, they`re at my neighbors`, just next door. Siobhan offered to mind and feed them. She`ll bring them back in a couple of hours. I hope they`re behaving…"

I caught Edward`s expression. He was frowning and his eyes were… angry?

_Is he mad at me?_

"Bella, with all due respect I`m blaming your fever and sickness right now –"

"For what?" I could feel my own forehead creasing.

"For what?!" his voice rose up, although he was still nowhere near shouting at me, "You knew I was coming over, yet you just let the neighbors take them? Why?"

"Edward, it`s not like I gave them away!" this time it was _my_ voice that increased in volume.

"Jesus, you know I don't mean that you got rid of your children, so stop playing this game with me!"

"I`m sorry."

"I`m not here because I _have_ to, Bella, I _want_ to be here, I _want _to help you!"

"But you`re tired Edward, and I`m just wondering why you would choose this –"

"Because I love you!"

"?"

He focused his eyes on mine, "I love you, Bella," he added quietly, "Can you not see it? I`ve been trying to show you for some time now. I feel that we`re close, but I don`t know if you`re ready for anything serious yet, or ready with _me_, but I don`t care anymore, I want you to know. I love you… I`m yours," he finished in a whisper and wiped my tears away from my face with his thumbs.

"I`m lying here with high fever, I feel like crap and I look even worse and you`re telling me the most beautiful thing in the world _now_? And I can`t even kiss you!" I challenged him, exasperated.

He smiled at me with emotion, "You look beautiful, Bella, _always_. And I love you whether you`re in a tight dress and stilettos or a pair of jeans and sneakers. And right now I want to bring the girls back home and mind them while you rest. I`ll play with them and feed them and put them to bed. I don`t start working until three in the afternoon tomorrow, so I want to keep an eye on you tonight and get the children ready for school in the morning. You`ll be here the whole time if I want to ask you anything. All I need from you now is to say "yes". You better do that because I`m gonna go to your neighbors` anyway and I would prefer if I had your approval. Please."

I let out a short chortle, "Alright, you have my approval. Let me call Siobhan and tell her you`re coming."

_He loves me. My god, he loves me… I stopped believing that a man like Edward even existed and now he`s here and he loves me... Please, don`t let it be a dream evoked by my fever! _

"Mommy!" I heard one of my beloved little voices twenty minutes later.

"I`m in the living room, baby girl," I croaked out.

"Remember, Mommy isn`t feeling well, so we need to be quiet, OK girls?" Edward preached to them in the hallway, "We don`t want Mommy to have a sore head."

"OK," my two duckies agreed and the three of them entered the living room.

"Sorry it took us so long. The girls baked cookies with Siobhan and they were decorating them," he said to me and I smiled in response, looking at my daughters carrying little dessert plates over to me.

"Look Mommy, we put pink icing on them," Sophie presented me proudly with the cookies.

"Oh, they look great, Sophie. You made them with Siobhan, did you?" I asked my brown-eyed-girl.

"Yep. And Maggie and Lisa helped, too," she bowed her head.

"Lisa?" I enquired Edward.

"Maggie has a friend over, they`re studying together now."

"Oh, right, it`s good that they don`t have two little distractions anymore then," I winked at him showing that I meant my girls.

"They all had fun together, believe me and Siobhan told me," he made sure the children were listening, "that Rachel and Sophie were the best girls. They have beautiful manners and they listened very well and they can visit Siobhan any time they want."

The girls` eyes travelled from Edward`s face to mine and I praised them up to heavens.

"Mommy, you not feeling well?" Rachel asked me.

"No Rachel, I`m not well. But I took some medicine that the doctor gave me and I will be better very soon, baby."

"OK, Mommy," she said and gave me a hug. I squeezed her tightly and smelled her baby hair.

I turned to Edward, "Kate made some nice tomato sauce to go with pasta; you can have it for dinner later on."

"Great, no worries," he winked, "You look a bit better Bella, your fever is most likely going down."

"I`m feeling slightly less achy actually, thank you."

"Why don`t you take a nap while we play together?" he looked at the twins and raised his brows.

"I feel tired, but not sleepy, so if you want to play here beside me here, I`ll be happy to chat with you."

The decision was made to take out play doh.

The girls pulled their small chairs over to the coffee table and Edward plunked himself on a cushion beside them. I watched the fun from a couple of feet away. I always loved seeing Edward and my girls together, but tonight the experience seemed even deeper, stronger. After Edward`s declaration of feelings the sight of him playing with my children made my heart swell with feelings for him more than I thought possible. I wondered if what he said meant that evenings like this, spent with each other, would become a frequent habit rather than an occasional occurrence.

My train of thoughts was interrupted by Rachel asking me to make her an "_optopus". _I slid off the couch, wrapped myself in "our" blanket and sat on a cushion on the floor, opposite Edward. He was making a snowman for Sophie. _Phew! A snowman? Seriously, is that all you`ve got, Cullen?! ;-) _

I got a ball of dough and moulded it into the requested sea creature. I got into the play so much that for a while my physical discomfort stopped occupying my mind. We laughed and joked and Edward and I tried to outdo one another creating more and more elaborate shapes with the soft material. I noticed his glances becoming a split second longer. He was observing me, squinting his eyes, thinking. I was amidst putting together some complicated figurine for Sophie when Edward pushed a round shape towards me. It was a smiley face. I showed it to the girls as if it was nothing and commented out loud what a cute thing it was, knowing the whole time that it had been a personal message from Edward to me. A moment later I grabbed some pink dough, rolled it into two sausages and connected them forming a heart. I placed it in front of him without a word. After two seconds Edward raised his head and looked me straight in the eyes. I smiled. He smiled back and nodded, and then he slowly traced the play doh with a finger… The children didn`t seem to register that particular exchange, but I felt like something magical happened; I gave Edward my heart and he took it gladly.

Over half and hour and a collection of alien looking creations later the children started losing their interest. We tidied up and I was ordered back into bed. What`s a sick girl to do, I obliged ;-) Sophie and Rachel started playing with soap and making bubbles while washing their hands, so Edward suggested a bath, to which he got a very enthusiastic "yes!" from my offspring. I warned him that he might regret it, but he waved me off, so I could do nothing more but to wish him good luck and laugh inside.

I reclined on the couch again with a book in my hand, while hearing my three favorite people making their way to the bathroom.

"Come on little frogs, up the stairs, up the stairs! Hop, hop, hop!" Edward was calling while the girls giggled and squeaked.

Reading proved too much for my system. After kneading play doh I felt like all the energy had left me again. So I lay examining my living room ceiling, thinking about where my life was going to go with Edward while listening to his voice coming from the bathroom. I reckoned he hadn`t closed the door completely, thus I could hear him and the children pulling some antics up there.

_Dear God, it feels so, so good. Please, let me keep this man. I believe you placed him in my life for a reason. No man has ever meant this much to me and I can already tell that no other man ever could. Please, let it all work out… Let me be what he wants me to be as much as he is what I want and need._

"Mommy!" Rachel`s wail reached the living room. My heart was in my throat in a flash and only the pain in my muscles prevented me from jumping out of the couch and dashing up to her. Instead, I only managed to sit up before I heard Edward talking to my daughter.

"Rachel, Mommy`s resting downstairs, baby. Show me what happened… Oh, come here," he said comfortingly and I stopped my motions. If a part of me expected my child to scream and demand my presence it was unsatisfied and a wee bit disappointed, because by the muffled sounds of Rachel`s crying I presumed that she had accepted the man`s consolation. Edward was good and good enough.

I will have to learn to trust that Edward can manage situations that are usually dealt with by me. I know the children are safe with him, but my "mother heart" aches each time they cry out for me and I need to show them that they are fine with other people, too. Luckily a short moment passed and my little girl`s voice sounded content. Yes, it`s a strange feeling that somebody else can comfort my children successfully and they take it so naturally.

The laughter coming from upstairs was so contagious that I kept smiling to myself and eventually went up to see "the trinity" in action. Well, there was a serious party going on in there! The girls were sitting in the tub and filling their plastic cups from the tea set with water and foam and passing them to Edward.

"Hi guys, how are you doing?" I asked standing in the doorway.

"Edward is having _papcino_, Mommy," Sophie answered and I squatted next to the man.

"Would you like some, madam?" Rachel offered me a blue cup filled with bubbly soap.

I raised my eyebrows at the _"madam". _Edward looked at me with a triumph.

I accepted the "beverage" and caught the sight of Edward`s shirt. Its front was all wet; he looked just like I did when we met for the first time! I shot him a "told ya" look.

"What happened to you?" I pointed at the shirt.

"It`s nothing; Rachel hit her elbow against the tub and she needed a hug."

"Alright," I said, understanding what the earlier crying was all about. I turned to a young brown haired head, "Are you drinking cappuccino as well, Sophie?"

"No," she protested, "I can`t have _papcino_, Mommy, I`m too small! I have _babyccino_!"

"Oh, of course, I`m sorry!" I said. Edward chuckled beside me.

"You are a bit too young to have cappuccino, but you are a _big_ girl, Sophie," I tried, but knew what was coming…

"No, I`m not _big_," Sophie denied, "I`m a _small_ girl. I`m going to be _big_ in two minutes!" she declared and I could feel Edward shaking with laughter beside me.

I was shooed out of the bathroom and told to go back to bed. I helped myself stand up by holding onto Edward`s shoulder. As if on impulse, he covered my hand with his. God, it was so warm and soft!

I left out clean pjs for the girls on their beds and trudged down the staircase to the living room. My body was demanding to be laid down.

It took another half hour during which I snoozed before they joined me again. Edward brought the girls to the kitchen and from what I heard they were going to cook pasta and garlic bread and use the sauce that Kate made earlier in the day. I listened to how my man was managing having a conversation with both children at the same time, how he responded to them. I was fairly impressed with all three of them, though Sophie and Rachel tried some of their tricks every now and then. At some point Edward checked on me and brought me a drink. I told him to behave as if I weren't there, the girls had to listen to him and if that meant tears, I didn`t mind one bit. Stupid is the last thing Edward is and I didn`t want him to pretend like he didn`t know what the children were trying to do with him. I wished he didn`t make things more difficult for himself just to avoid upsetting me. This isn`t how it works; the girls need to have respect and know their boundaries.

I received a kiss on the forehead and Edward returned to the kitchen. My "blessing" seemed to have given him more confidence. If the children fought over who puts the napkins on the table, he took the napkins away completely, if they stomped their feet, he told them to stop and continued with what he was doing; and after some other silly thing they tried to pull he threatened there would be no dessert later. The tone of his voice was calm but boy, did he mean it! At that stage the twins knew that Edward meant business and would follow through, so they let out a few sobs and Edward commented that he knew they were tired, but they needed to eat their dinner first to have the energy to take care of Mommy. I could sense he was sighing deeply; sad faces made his heart ache just like mine. He refilled my glass soon after and asked how I thought he was doing.

"Brilliantly, Edward. Tough love, that`s what it`s called. They`re really very sweet and easy going children, but can be quite stubborn just like their mommy," I chuckled.

"Oh no, they`re little stars and I`m having great fun. I think it`s been a long and unusual day for them, out of routine."

"Absolutely." I agreed and watched him yawn.

He was worn-out and my concern must have shown, because he squinted his eyes at me, "I`m fine, Bella. You rest, I`ll bring you some pasta in a minute."

"Thank you so much, Edward. I`m not hungry though… or maybe just plain pasta, OK, without the sauce, please?"

I was too weak to sit at the table for long enough to eat dinner and have a chat, so I got my meal delivered to the couch while the rest of my family sat in the dining room.

"I don`t like _peppis_," Sophie whined.

"What is it, angel?" Edward asked.

"I don`t want this," Sophie continued.

_Oh god, I beg you, please give this man a break!_

"Which one? Oh, the peppers?"

"I don`t like them, Edward."

"Well, Kate cooked the sauce especially for you, baby. I`m sure she wouldn`t put peppers in the sauce if you didn`t like them. Maybe you just don`t feel like eating them today, huh?" he said softly.

Sophie must have nodded her head, "No, not today," her kiddie voice reached the couch.

"Alright, that`s fine. How about we push the peppers aside and you eat the rest? Look… there," I heard the cutlery clinking on the plate.

"You feed me?" the mini-me tried again. _My god, he`s gonna be shattered after this!_

I was praying hard for my daughters to make it a bit easier for our savior to mind them and not induce any more unnecessary crying spells tonight but then Edward, just like almost any parent I know would do, called Sophie to sit on his knees and by the content sounds coming from the table I understood things were going well. _Smart move, Edward, you know how to choose your battles._

"Come on, eat up or I`ll stick it in your ears!" he joked and both girls laughed out loud.

He must have heard my laughing from the couch, because he cleared his throat distinctively loudly.

"We`re doing great!" he called out to me.

"I can hear!" I answered back.

After dinner and some of their favorite vanilla ice cream they sat beside me for a while.

"What is it you`re reading, Bella?" Edward looked at the book on the coffee table.

"Just started it, a girly thing. I`m too tired to read, though."

"Is this in German?" he asked browsing through the pages of my copy of "Rausch der Verwandlung" by Stefan Zweig.

"Indeed."

"So, you speak fluent German," he stated rather than asked.

"I do."

"Why do I have that sneaky suspicion that the snippets of Italian and French that I heard from you aren`t all you can say in those languages either?" His brows were high up.

I chuckled and shook my head, "I`m a certified Italian and French translator. I was working on my German certificate just before the girls were born, but the two of them didn`t leave me too much spare time…"

"Bella," he sat right next to me, "are you telling me you studied three other languages as well as English literature?"

"My mom wasn`t sure if I would be able to make a good living reading books. She was a preschool teacher and didn`t earn an awful lot. We had money from her relatives and lived comfortably, but Renee didn`t want me to take advantage of that; she pushed me to study and taught me that satisfaction and fulfilment came from one`s own achievements. I loved reading and had great respect for language; especially written word. So when my mom found me singing along to some Italian song as a tot, she enrolled me for lessons. Her sister lived in Italy, so I got tons of books and cassettes with Italian songs and tapes with cartoons. Then my best friend in primary school took French and I wanted to join her. Her mom was French and her dad was German; I asked him one day to teach me German and he agreed. Renee wasn`t certain about three foreign languages on top of my school work, but it was all through fun activities and poems and songs and stuff like that. To everyone`s surprise I continued the languages, did English lit and Italian in college with French and German on the side."

"Would you like to finish the certification in German?"

"I would love to; I need to wait for the girls to grow a little older though. At the moment life`s too demanding time and energy wise and I`d rather never get that certificate than lose my daughters` childhood."

"I understand. But Bella, do you have any idea what an amazing career you could have with your qualifications? I mean, this is huge! Congratulations, sweetheart, I have honestly never met a woman like you. Do you do any translation work now?"

"I do, but not much, I haven`t really got my head around it after the move."

"My god, you should advertise it! You`d have people crowding your e-mail and doorstep with requests, Bella!"

"Well, that`s what I`m trying to avoid at the moment. I like Newton Publishing, I like the fact that I can spend my evenings with my children as opposed to closing the door to my study room and working while they`re being raised by minders and babysitters. I`m alone with them, Edward, it`s not that easy peasy."

"You have me," he mouthed voicelessly.

I smiled with tears of the brink of spilling, "Your working double shifts at the hospital doesn`t exactly help here, does it?"

If not the tonsillitis and the children mere feet away, he would have kissed me hard, I could see it in his eyes.

"You are amazing, Bella," he whispered, "You are absolutely amazing. And I thought I knew you!", he laughed, "Thank god we have the rest of our lives, because I want to learn every single beautiful little thing about you, love… and it will take eternity."

I nodded and he rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb.

"Mommy, will you read me a story?" Rachel looked at me pleadingly with "I want my potty" in her hand.

"I`m really too tired to read tonight, Rachel, I`m sorry."

"OK," she said without a huff, "I`ll read it to you!"

She sat on the couch closely to me and opened the book, while Sophie snuggled up to Edward and sucked on her thumb.

Rachel kicked off her fluffy slippers and I squeaked inside seeing her wriggling her tiny toes. Then she opened the book and began…

"Look, here is a princess… and she says… yucky and smelly! And she does like this," Rachel twitched her nose, "And then mommy told her… this is his mommy, see? `You have to sit on the potty` said mommy and daddy and then the princess said NO! and look… look what happened, she put potty on his head and… she shouted `I want my potty!` and …" my little genius continued while her sister listened without a problem and Edward and I tried our best not to burst out laughing. It sounded hilarious, but I was extremely proud of my girl that she was able to follow the pictures and tell us the whole story in her own words. Sometimes I wondered if they had that love for written word after me or after their father.

After the princess story was finished Edward decided it was time to let me take a nap, so I got big hugs and kisses on the cheek from my little darlings and they went upstairs. The last thing I remember was hearing them in the bathroom again, most probably brushing teeth. I fell asleep…

It was half past nine when I opened my eyes. All the lights were off and the house was quiet. I let my legs drop heavily on the floor and I pulled the rest of my body up. It was hard to believe that after so many naps I would still feel so tired, but I did. To my great appreciation my muscles weren`t that achy and even my throat felt a little better. It was dark and I didn`t know where Edward was, but I had to eat something with another dose of antibiotics, so I headed for the kitchen. The dished had been washed and put away and the table was cleaned. Edward must have done it all after putting the children down for the night and I missed it all; I didn`t hear a thing. I found some leftover garlic bread which I munched on before going up the stairs to check on my babies. A quick glance through the window reassured me that the man who loved me was still in my house as well, or at least his car was in my driveway!

My angels were sleeping soundly. Rachel was strangling poor Mooky by his neck. I gave her a little kiss on the forehead and fixed her covers. Sophie`s hair was in a right mess and she had tossed Iggy the penguin on the ground, so I smoothed her brown locks and securely tucked Iggy back into bed with her. The images of the previous hours flashed through my mind; Edward cooking with the girls, Edward bathing the girls, Edward laughing with the girls… Edward, Edward, Edward…

Edward. The man who loves me.

I walked past my own bedroom and took a peek into the guest room, which was half open. And there I saw him. Fully clothed and lying on his side on top of the sheets, he was crossing his arms like men do, fast asleep. He had worked a double shift at the hospital, but insisted on taking care of two small tots as if they were his own children. He did so much more than necessary tonight. My god, he even got angry that I didn`t want to involve him in my parental duties and responsibilities! I always wanted my girls to have a loving, caring and genuinely interested daddy. I realized that Edward could not have been any more of a dad then he already is to them. And he took care of me; not like a doctor, but like a man who cares. His masculine tenderness made me feel safe, confident and important. I didn`t have to be strong and sexy all the time, I could be sick and vulnerable and he still wanted me… And now it was _him_ who was vulnerable and tired.

I went into my bedroom, pulled some blankets off my bed and armchairs and as quietly as I could I brought them back to the guest room. Having climbed into the bed I lay closely behind Edward and drew the covers over us both. He stirred and sighed sleepily.

"Shhh…" I whispered like to a child.

He grunted to himself and seconds later I could hear his breathing even.

I kissed his hair, "I love you, too." _I love you…_

He slowly reached behind him and linked a hand with mine, bringing them together to his chest in front.

The night was… disappointing. My throat was slowly clearing, but it was getting dry and I woke up coughing a few times. Once it woke up Edward and I waited for him to go back to sleep before I sneaked out to my own bedroom. I was gutted, but he needed and deserved an uninterrupted full night`s rest, so I slipped under the covers on my own while my beautiful man slept across the hallway.

The next day I was staying at home. I woke up in better form to the sounds of three muffled voices moving around the rooms. The door to my bedroom was closed; I had slept through Edward and the children getting up. My muscles seemed fine and most of my strength was back, allowing me to move around without feeling like I had lived a thousand years already, which was a great sign.

I threw a bathrobe over my back and found my people downstairs getting ready for breakfast. We exchanged good morning hugs and I offered making sandwiches for the children for school while Edward and the girls set the table. He must have noticed that I smirked to myself looking at the children`s mismatched clothes, because he questioned my expression.

"I probably didn`t get the clothes right today, did I?"

I shook my head with a smile, "It`s OK, Edward, don`t worry about it."

"I`m sorry, you can change them if you want. It won`t offend me, honestly. At my apartment you only had a handful of clothes and it was easier to choose; this morning I opened the children`s wardrobe and got a little lost. Sesides, I just wanted to dress them quickly and come downstairs so you could sleep."

"Will you stop! They are clean and warm, I`m happy!" I went over to him and planted a peck on his cheek, "Thank you for doing all this, Edward; it would have been a disaster without you, love," I rubbed his cheek with a thumb where I kissed it.

"Alice always says not to put more than three colors together, but what if the clothes have colourful stripes–"

"Edward, please!" I laughed and then raised my brows, "Though I have to say that`s a bit of a downer, up till this morning I thought you were perfect…"

He laughed back, "Sorry, baby! Will you forgive me my flaws?"

"Well," I flirted, "I`ll think of a way you could make up for it…"

Edward cleared his throat, "I`m glad you`re getting back to your usual self, Bella," he winked at me.

Later, as I was looking for one of Rachel`s gloves abandoned somewhere in the house I walked into the living room and saw Edward examining rows of dictionaries on the shelves with a gentle, admiring smile.

"Wow, I`ve never actually noticed these before, I thought they were all novels. You have two things that I love and respect the most in life, Bella."

"What are they?" I asked standing beside him.

"Kids and education; they`re the best things in the world."

"Thank you, that`s sweet. But you are very well educated yourself, Edward," I smiled at him.

"Yeah, I shouldn`t complain."

"And you`re gonna be a wonderful dad one day, you`ll see… How many would you like?"

"God, I`d have ten if I could!" he laughed, "but given my age a bunch of two or three would probably be the limit."

"Hmm, not necessarily. If you found yourself a twenty-year-old lady now, the two of you could produce one a year and be done in a decade! And from what I`ve seen you would have no problem finding that girl."

"What do you mean exactly?" he chuckled and frowned.

"You are a great catch, Edward, don`t pretend you don`t know it. Siobhan texted me this morning asking how I was and she shared that Maggie`s friend Lisa thought you`re `one hot piece of ass`, so there! I see young women drooling at your sight every time we are out in public."

"What if I don`t care about them and have found the most wonderful girl already?" he challenged me while picking up a framed photo of Mike Newton and I off the shelf.

"Do I know her?"

"Maybe?" he winked.

"Tease."

"Nice picture," he tried to sound indifferently. I would have believed him if he wasn`t studying Mike`s face with a little discomfort on his own.

"Yeah, old times. This is Mike, my boss`s son."

"You look happy."

"Thank you. I had just learned that I was pregnant; we were celebrating."

"I see."

_I remember the day. Mike, Angela, a few other people and I went out to dinner. They all ordered wine except for me. When I broke the news about my pregnancy Angela insisted on photos. I refused, but she convinced me to have just one taken. In the end I agreed and as she got her camera ready, Mike moved closer to me, smiled and whispered "Smile, mommy Bella". I smiled on reflex and that was the moment that Angela captured, with Mike looking at me smiling, and myself with a grin spread across my whole face. _

I was recuperating well, but Edward was thanking god that he was working overtime because I refused to even kiss him on the lips the whole time I was taking the antibiotics. I didn`t want to risk him getting sick as well, especially considering his job and his trip to Alaska.

I missed him terribly when he was gone. We called each other every day and once he even got me into some naughty sexy talking over the phone… Business in Fairbanks was going great, I was almost counting hours to Edward`s return, my tonsillitis was gone and my whole being was burning for him. I fantasized obsessively and in the end I asked Alice to help me shop for some new clothes and lingerie. She was delighted to say the least!

"Tell me," she insisted when we met, "is there a particular occasion and reason as to why we`re doing this today, Bella?"

"Besides the fact that spring is round the corner and I need new wardrobe?"

"And that my brother is coming back after a week of absence, maybe?" she squinted her eyes.

A blushed instantly covered my cheeks, "I miss him like mad, Alice and I… I want to look nice… you know, for myself of course, but also for him."

"You _always_ look lovely, Bella," Alice admitted.

"Thank you. And about the lingerie… I want it to be special for that first time…"

Her brows jumped up, "What? You still haven`t slept together? Oh my god, you two are just as bad as the rest of us Cullens and Whitlocks!" she laughed.

"What do you mean?"

"We all stretched the anticipation to the limits before that first time happened."

"Mine has reached its zenith, I can tell you that much!"

"You and Edward are wonderful together," she said warmly.

"I love him, Alice. I didn`t expect feeling like that ever again in my life, but here I am."

"You`re talking about your previous relationship?"

I nodded, "I was with this guy for seven years, I had our life planned out, so when he walked off it was like the biggest calamity imaginable. Not only did he take _himself_ away from me, but also my children, my family, my future. It was hard, but to my surprise I soon discovered that it was actually my ego that suffered more than my heart. I thought that maybe I just got used to being with Martin and never really thought about my feelings. We met in high school, at the same place and at the same age that my parents met many years previously. My mom and dad were crazy about each other, but their relationship didn`t last. I guess I wanted to prove to them and to myself that people _can_ stay together, that they make a decision and stick to it."

"No matter what?"

"Yes, most probably. Maybe even if it hurts. A few years ago I went for some counselling sessions and it made sense to me that I had never gotten over my parents` break up. Like every child I wanted my mommy and daddy to be together. I learned to let go, I learned that life doesn`t follow one scenario and it`s OK. Nothing is constant and it`s fine to change your mind and change it again. When it comes to relationships though, I want stability and security. Looking back, my relationship with Martin seems so distant and so insignificant, as if it never even happened. I doubt it was love at all. With Edward it`s a completely different cup of tea…"

"Does Edward know about your feelings?" Alice asked while her eyes filled with tears.

"He does. He actually said the words first. And it feels so incredibly good every time he says them."

"I`m so happy for you," she smiled and whispered quietly.

"Your instincts are great, Alice. You were the one you predicted it all."

She chuckled, "Thank you, Bella," she wiped a salty drop off her cheek, "Alright, for the vision of you and my brother that has popped into my mind right now we need to get going."

"?"

"What? Lingerie shopping, my almost-officially-sister!"

"Right, let`s go!" I laughed.

"Tell me what you have in mind; do you want something sophisticated with plenty of little hooks or buttons to torture him for a few moments longer, or something that he can whip off of you in a second?"

_OK, Alice, you`re making me burn in the middle of the mall!_

I came back home looking like Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman", bag upon bag upon bag! We checked the mall and small boutiques, with Alice`s one among them of course. I had to secretly admit that I enjoyed clothes shopping, especially with Alice, and thinking about Edward. Since it looks like my body has a co-owner now, it`s suddenly important what I put on it. Every time I chose a piece of garment to try on, I couldn`t resist but think what Edward would make of it, how he could possibly fantasize about what`s underneath the clothes and he could get them off of me. Alice saw right through me and laughed hysterically every time I scanned a top or a skirt and drifted off into my dreamland.

I was more than satisfied with my purchases and for the rest of the days of Edward`s absence I couldn`t chase away the images of his eyes following me and undressing me from my mind. I told him about my shopping spree and he got so excited that we ended up talking each other all the way through to release. I cursed all the circumstances that held us back in the previous weeks, but I was at the end of my wits. The game life was playing with us began to lose its appeal and it was time for Edward and I to make up our own rules.

The night before my sweetheart was due back home I was lying in bed waiting for his call. Like a teenager I stared at the ceiling and grinned to myself thinking about his soft hair between my fingers, his deep green pools of eyes, his warm hands roaming around all of me, his long fingers in my wetness and the silkiness of his…

The phone.

_Yay, Edward`s calling!_

It took me full two seconds to realize that it wasn`t an incoming call, but a text message. I looked down at the small screen.

_Oh, Mike._

`Hi Bella, hope you`re feeling better, Dad was telling me you had tonsillitis. I`m coming to Forks for a few days soon, might pop in to Seattle. Could I see you and the girls?`

`I`m OK now, thanks. Sure, you can come see us anytime! : -) I can`t believe it`s been over half a year!`

_I hope you`re not bringing any bad news, Mike…_

A minute later real joy burst in my heart.

"Hi baby, how are you?" Edward murmured into the receiver.

"Hi there, I miss you," was all I could utter.

"As I miss you, Bella."

"So, are you all done, is everything packed?"

"Yes, everything is done, the house is completely empty. Emmett is looking forward to the new beginning though, he`s happy to be leaving for good."

"How did Rose take it? I haven`t seen her yet since she returned."

"To be truthful she seemed even less sentimental than Em. She told us this would always be their little place, place where they met and all that, but she`s more than ready to move on."

"That`s good," I replied, "Are you tired?"

"There`s been a lot of carrying heavy stuff and I have a good few bruises here and there, but I`m fine. I`m coming back alive and kicking."

"Sounds good to me. I`m sorry about the bruises though. I promise to kiss all the boo-boos better."

"Hmmm, " he chuckled quietly, "some of them are in funny places, on my hips and a little below…"

I squeaked out loud while he laughed at me.

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you too Sweetheart, so much. And I can`t wait to see you."

I bit my lip, "Talk to me… Talk me through it!" I breathed out heavily.

"No, not tonight, Bella," he denied me, "I`m going to see you when I get back…"

"And then?"

"And then I`m gonna make love to you tomorrow night, Bella, no matter what. I swear that nothing will stop me this time."

My insides began a happy dance…

**Hmmm… Do you think life`s gonna give them a chance this time? ; -) **

**Edward`s line about education and kids being the best things in life comes directly from one of my male friends. He also says that he could have ten children if he could. He`s a kickass, dream dad to three gorgeous young people, so yes, men like these DO exist!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Rated M! ; -)**

**Chapter 17 BPOV**

**SWAY WITH ME**

"Hi there," I breathed out as Edward opened the door to his apartment. To say that I was excited would be a vast understatement; I barely kept my hands away from my lady bits after that text message last night, I felt so wet and ready. And of course there was hardly any chance I was going to sleep, and even when I _did_ manage to drift off, in my dreams Edward`s voice, scent and hands were all over me, outside and inside… ; -) I woke up a couple of times sticky and ridiculously sensitive. I wanted to be bold and sexy and unforgettable. I wanted Edward to think and feel that he had never had a lover like me. _Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Bella._ My ever so slightly neurotic side slapped me in the face every single positive, powerful thought the moment it appeared in my mind and my confidence was crumbling. Did the knowledge that it was just the first time jitters calm me down? Hell, no.

"Hi, Bella," Edward responded with a smile which quickly changed into a little devilish smirk of appreciation, "My god, you look amazing. Come here," he pulled me into a tight embrace and within a second our lips found each other.

"I missed you so much," I mumbled against him and he moaned softly into my mouth for an answer.

"I love this dress on you…" he whispered loudly while his hands roamed around my back.

"I went shopping with Alice the other day, remember?"

"Aha," he murmured nipping my lips.

"I bought it especially for tonight," I confessed and as a result something rather hard prodded against my stomach and the red silk that I was wearing…

"You`ll be the death of me, Bella," he pulled away and smiled at me, "I love you, my beautiful girl and I`m so glad I`m back home."

"And I`m overjoyed to _have_ you back," I smiled back and kissed him softly on the lips, "And I love you, too."

"How did the girls take mommy going away for the night?" he asked still holding me closely.

"Not a bother. I have my phone with me in case of trouble, but they`ll be absolutely fine, don`t worry. Siobhan insisted on minding them. They have plenty to do and you`ll hear all about it tomorrow."

"Good," he winked at me and pecked me sweetly, "Come with me."

He took my hand and led me to the sitting room puffing nervously. The table was set up for two, with crystal champagne flutes, a bouquet of roses, candles, and a bottle of bubbly chilling in a bucket. My heart thumped in my chest and I let out an anxious sigh myself. This was real, so real…

"It looks cheesy, doesn`t it?" he watched me examine the set up and suddenly doubted his efforts.

"No, Edward!" I protested clutching his hand, "It`s perfect."

"OK," he replied quietly, "Would you like to take a seat, please?"

"Of course, thank you," I sat and Edward pushed the chair in behind me, "Could I help you in the kitchen?"

"No, thank you. Everything is done and tonight you`re doing nothing but relaxing," he informed with a tiny smirk on his gorgeous face.

_Nothing but relaxing, huh? Can`t wait… _

We sat down and a couple of minutes later my beautiful man served our meal. He sat opposite me and we talked about what happened in Fairbanks and Seattle when we were apart. I arrived worried and stressed out, prepared to put on a show by trying to prove that I was some kind of a template of female sexuality to which other women should aspire, but as the minutes passed and the evening progressed I felt more and more like a woman, but not due to my theatrical attempts; Edward was there with me and he loved me. I wouldn`t need anything else to feel powerful; _Edward_ was what all I needed. I sensed the young, naïve girl giving way to a mature, confident woman. I wasn`t sure how long it would last and I could bet all the money in the world that my cheeks would still flame in a blush at any suggestion of eroticism, but to some point it would be my conscious decision to do so. I`ve been known (to myself) for slipping back and indulging my insecurities, however reluctantly, so I would have to practice that newly found boldness on a regular basis now. Preferably with this quintessence of perfection sitting opposite me ; -)

Over two hours went by. We talked, we joked and laughed. He "aw-ed" when I told him about Sophie and Rachel`s latest pranks and I shed and tear or two as he told me how his brother asked to be left alone in his old house in Fairbanks for a while, to say goodbye. Edward took my hand resting on the table and examined the two baby shoe charms on my bracelet, just like he did a few months back.

"I don`t wear it often," I said enjoying the warmth of his fingers on my growing-needy skin, "My dad gave it to me after the girls were born."

"Your dad?"

"Yes," I stressed, "I thought I`d told you before already."

"You did, but I misunderstood. I thought you got it from the girls` dad, not your own, I`m sorry."

"No at all," I turned my upside down so he brushed against the sensitive inside of my wrist. Goosebumps covered my arms within seconds, "I apologize for confusing you though!"

"No problem, Bella," Edward smiled waving me off, "but I have to admit I`m… kind of relieved."

"Relieved?"

"Yeah, that it`s not from someone else… some other man. You know, your dad isn`t a threat, but another guy..."

I chuckled and rubbed my legs together. He was jealous!

"I wouldn`t have put it on tonight, believe me. I remember you played with it when we went out for the first time."

"That`s right."

"I was way too mesmerized by your dazzling eyes to think clearly, I probably didn`t even know what I was saying."

"It doesn`t matter, Bella."

"Well, maybe not, but it showed me one very important thing about you."

"And what would that be?"

"You are jealous. And it tickles my ego very nicely," I blushed.

Edward stared at me with hooded eyes while lifting my hand and kissing each finger one at a time.

"I`m wildly jealous of you, Bella, can you blame me?" he motioned at me with his head, "And I`m glad you`re wearing this bracelet tonight."

"I leave it for special occasions."

"Wow. So tonight is a special occasion?" he raised his eyebrows and his lips twisted flirtatiously.

"I can`t think of more special time, tonight calls for gold and sparkle…" I whispered.

"And red silk," he added sultrily with his eyes lingering on me, "I like red on you."

"I know," my lip disappeared between my teeth, "that`s why everything I`m wearing is red."

He swallowed thickly.

This time I took his hand in mine.

"Edward, this is all so lovely and we`ve been waiting to be alone for so long," I started, a tiny bit unsurely, "I realize I should have asked you long ago, but better late than never –"

"What is it?" he frowned.

"Are you healthy?"

"Healthy?"

"Yes."

"Oh," he understood, "as in sexually?"

"Aha," I nodded.

"Yes, I am."

"OK, thank you. I thought because you`re a doctor, you take especially good care of yourself…"

He smiled warmly, "Bella, I promise you I am perfectly healthy, I have never suffered from any STDs and I haven`t been with anyone for so long it`s embarrassing. And you?"

"I`m fine but I had a bad experience some time ago. I never contracted anything, but the man I was with turned out to be stupidly irresponsible and it left me terrified for a long time."

"I`m sorry, honey. And thank you for telling me."

"One day I`ll tell you what happened; I just don`t want to ruin tonight`s atmosphere. Tonight is about you and I and nobody and nothing else."

He looked me deeply in the eyes, "It is. I love you."

"I love you, too. I`m glad we can talk like that, Edward."

"So am I. Whatever we agree to say or do together intimately stays between us, sweetheart. I love it when you smile and I want you happy, so let`s agree to tell each other what does and what doesn`t make us smile, alright? I enjoy sex a lot, but I want it to be part of a relationship. I`m still a fairly young, healthy guy and sex is high on the list, nonetheless not the highest anymore. It`s a _part _of the experience, not the _whole_ experience. I want a connection, an emotional and intellectual connection to go with it. I have never cheated while in a relationship and I`ve never slept around, it`s just not what I do. Sure I enjoyed my college life including girls, but even then they weren`t one night stands, I actually dated those girls, even if only for a few weeks…" his eyes suddenly drifted as if he was reliving something, but he shrugged it off and looked back at me, "Nevermind; as you said tonight is ours and ours only. This is who I am and this is what I offer you, Bella," he explained and I nodded.

"Thank you and likewise, Edward. Just one more thing… about protection," I sighed and blood gushed to my cheeks, "I hope I`m not dampening the mood by talking about technicalities –"

"Not at all, Bella."

"OK," I said somewhat nervously, "I am on the pill but I`ve just finished my antibiotics a couple of days ago…"

"I know, love. I have a stash of little packets with me," he winked and I closed my eyes chewing on my lip.

It was all so odd and funny at the same time. We`d tried to be intimate a few times before and managed to bring each other release under the blanket and over the phone and it all happened spontaneously, without too much thought. Now that we knew we were really going to be together for the first time, it felt like we needed to plan it and make sure we were doing the right thing. It didn`t take away from the anticipation though, if anything it actually added to it; I`m a "getting there" rather than "being there" girl and the past few months proved that Edward was the same type of person. Now the anticipation had reached its highest point and our patience was running out… I felt safe and I knew that I wasn`t selling out like I had before. It made me long for Edward`s touch even more, it was as if my body had finally found its matching half.

"Will you play for me?" I asked glancing at the piano.

"Sure I will," he dished me another wink, "Your lullaby?"

I nodded.

We sat beside one another on the bench and the most wonderful piece of music echoed around the room. It still astonished me that Edward had composed it just for me. I watched his fingers move lightly along the keys. The melody was so peaceful and calm and so full of emotion that it melted my heart all over again. I wanted to be close to the man who created it, be close _with_ him...

Towards the end of the lullaby I moved nearer Edward so that our arms brushed against one another every time he hit a key. Each touch spread a wave of warmth in me, from my naked arm to the tips of my toes, all in a matter of a nanosecond. Edward`s light gasps assured me that he was encountering the same experience. The soulful sounds mesmerized me and my mind was already drifting to some waiting to be discovered places...

My hand slid across the bench and between us, finding its brief destination on Edward`s firm thigh, where it paused for a fleeting moment and then slithered along his arm to weave through his fingers the instant the music stopped. Edward`s digits claimed mine and squeezed them gently, though there was no doubt, possessively. My hand was willingly his and the rest of me yearned to belong to him utterly and completely. I heard the silk of my dress sweep across the velvety fabric of our seat as I stood up and pulled Edward along with me by the hand. It took one look into his eyes...

"Come with me," I whispered, unsure if he heard it through the loud beating of my heart.

He faced me and his feet slowly followed mine as I walked backwards while watching him intently the whole time; my step back, his one forward, mine back, his forward... unhurriedly, in the same steady rhythm, waiting. His face was flushed. I turned around and led him. He went along behind me in silence, though I could tell that our dance had begun. We reached his bedroom and I didn`t have time to plan my next move. Edward spun me around and we faced each other again. His hands fell on my bottom and drew my dress up little by little, past my stockings until my whole upper thighs were revealed. My grazed flesh burst in flames. Edward lifted me up and I hooked my legs behind him. In a matter of seconds the door was shut and my back molded into the wooden entrance. The promise of tonight switched my body on autopilot and while I squeezed Edward`s waist with my legs, my hands flew into his hair and my lips slammed into his mouth. He licked me hungrily and our breathing was hitting accelerando, speeding up quickly, all the patience gone out the window, it seemed. Two greedy hands roamed freely around my sides and back all the while their owner`s hips were thrusting forward and pinning me to the door, it was the only way I could stay in place without slipping down. And oh, what I way to be! I felt something rather firm pushing into my delicate parts, like a key to my lock...

"Edward," I let out breathlessly.

"Hmm..." he replied, too busy kissing under my ear to talk, "God, Bella, I want you so much."

"Good," I smiled to myself, "because I want you, too." 

_Just an inch lower, baby... Yes, just like that! Oh, sweet baby Jesus, I`m gonna have hickeys again!_

"I love you," he slowed down and looked into my eyes. My heart just about jumped out of my chest.

"I love you, too."

Edward smiled and linked his forehead with mine, "We have all night..." he whispered and I knew that he reassured himself rather than asked me.

"We do."

"I gotta calm down..." he chuckled quietly.

_Poor thing._

He cupped my buttocks and carried me over to a chest of drawers where he sat me down on the countertop. I loosened my grip on his hips, but we remained connected. Edward held my face and kissed me slowly, penetrating my mouth with his warm, sensual tongue. My eyelids could do nothing but drop. Our murmurs and soft moans played their own melody, like a chorus in a song. A delicious shiver spread down my spine as Edward opened the zip of my dress and dragged it all the way down from my neck to my lower back. One moment later and the red silk was dropped on the floor.

"Oh, fuck," I heard from Edward. Like a typical, one-track-minded male he growled at the sight of my red bra. He didn`t look up at me anymore; all he did was superglue his lips to my chest, like I was something to eat. On impuls, I pushed my breasts forward and was rewarded with an appreciative sigh. Edward`s hands were on fire, as if they were to learn every milimeter of my arms, sides and chest and only had about thirty seconds to do it. My own hands were busy snaking around his shirt and the small buttons. I had managed to open two already and I was itching for more so thirstily... I kicked my shoes off and they clank on the ground. I could tell that Edward registered the movements of my hips while maneouvring my feet above his bottom, but he was too involved in tracing the outlines of my breasts with his tongue to investigate what that noise was about.

"Next time," he groaned against my blushing skin, "the shoes stay on."

_Oops! He _did _notice!_

"Sorry, I can put them back on?" I offered into his hair. The scent of his shampoo was tormenting my hungry-for-more senses.

"Don`t worry. I don`t want the heels to dig into my ass on our first time, but promise you`ll wear them again," he breathed out and his index finger snaked behind the bra and grazed my peak.

"Ah! I will," I meowed back.

Edward smirked, "Good girl."

_In the name of all that`s holy... !_

Wearing my bra, thong and stockings only I was picked up and brought to a freshly set, luxuriously looking bed. At the closeness of Edward`s hands my girly bits juiced and I could smell how ready and willing I was. My man`s face told me that he knew exactly how impatiently I was waiting for him, for us...

I didn`t get too far with undressing him. He allowed me to rub his back and sides and his partly bare chest as he laid me down in the middle of the bed, but he wasn`t concerned with me freeing him off his garments. Instead he grinned to himself and and drove me crazy, taking my left stocking in his teeth and pulling it down and off my leg. I was losing my mind and grabbed the edge of the sheer fabric on my right thigh to get rid of it.

"No, no, no," I heard in protest, "This is _my_ toy!"

So I fell limply on the bed and laughed inside at the concert of groaning, moaning, grunting, sighing and all sorts of other erotic sounds that Edward was eliciting.

When only my lingerie was left on me, the sight of red worked on him like on a bull; he seemed to be falling into some unconscious trans. He supported his weight above me on one hand resting beside my waist, while the other drew circles on my abdomen.

"I`ve never been here before," he whispered dragging his fingers lazily around my belly button.

"But you have," I reminded him, desperately trying to stay conscious and experience each touch to the full.

"You mean under the blanket? Yeah, I have _felt_ it, but I`ve never _seen_ you like this, Bella..." his eyes followed his hand and then finally he looked up at me.

"Like what you see?"

"I _love _it!" he answered and lowered his body onto mine, making sure there wasn`t a sliver of space left between out hips, "Can you tell?"

I rolled my eyes feeling his hardness and blushed like an idiot. In response he gyrated against me. I gasped loudly.

"You didn`t answer me, Sweetheart," Edward whispered into my ear and I shuddered underneath him at the unexpected feel of his breath on my sensitive flesh, "Can you tell how much I want you?"

"I think I have an idea," I smiled and dared to meet his green pools. Well, it was semi-dark in the room, but I had no doubts his eyes weren`t so green any longer. And I loved it.

I skimmed a hand along his shoulder and back, down to his bum. As I was slipping to his front, Edward covered my hand.

"Easy, Bella, slowly," he pleaded into my face.

"I want you, Edward. No more waiting."

"Shhh... I`m here," he chuckled and kissed me on the lips, "I`m here, not going anywhere without you."

That wasn`t enough. I forced him to sit up and kneeled opposite him. It gave me clear access to his shirt, which my fierce fingers took care of without a shortest moment of hesitation. I ripped the shirt out of Edward`s pants and unbuttoned it swiftly. He took it off and my palms spread egoistically on his warm and heaving chest. His right palm mirrored mine and molded just undeneath my breast, over my heart. It played crescendo, exactly like his, picking up on tempo and volume.

"You`re wonderful, Edward," I said honestly, feeling my thrumming blood join in the music.

He looked into my eyes tenderly and curled a strand of my hair around his finger, "I love you."

Our chests connected as we embraced and kissed deeply. Next thing I knew, Edward hooked his both thumbs under the straps of my bra and pulled them down my arms. I watched. My chest burned.

"Does it open at the back?" he asked with a tiny smirk, without losing eye contact with the red material.

I couldn`t help but laugh, "Yes, at the back. It`s a different bra..."

"I know, the other one was lacey," he squinted his eyes as if trying to see through the push up cups.

"Good memory. This one`s new," I informed him boldly, "especially for tonight."

"For me?"

"For Pete`s sake will you rip it off me already?" I stated calmly and Edward`s greenness met my brownness. Something flashed through his eyes, something daring, something fearless, dangerous almost. I had never felt sexier.

My bra flew off my chest and Edward kissed me hard starting with the lips and moving greedily down my neck and breasts, where he explored and did whatever in the world he fancied. His hands were everywhere. My nipples stood out proudly and shamelessly looked for Edward`s attention. He loved them with abundance and my loud uninhibited moans escaped my lungs at each touch, kiss and lick. I tugged at his pants and this time he pulled them down and off. I wasn`t allowed to touch, but I watched his every move to all my heart`s content. Seeing the pain on his face when he slipped his pants down over his hips made me weak in my knees, if it was even possible to got any weaker than I already was! He was careful not to brush against a certain bulge which was making its existence quite prominent!

_Yum! These are going to be mine... MINE!_

I licked my lips and tried to make Edward recline, but he saw through me and shook his head. Instead he pushed me lightly and I lay down on the plump pillows. As much as I wanted to touch him, his boxer shorts were off limits. His member strained painfully in the confines, but I knew the poor thing wouldn`t stay there forever, so with the remains of my conscious thinking I decided to revel in the attention that Edward was lavishing on me. He was impatient, I could feel it. His hands trembled when their backs drew up from my feet to my thighs. As they passed my knees, the place between my legs sensed the long awaited promise and my legs opened with hope. Edward kissed my left calf and followed his hands` journey with his mouth, one leg at a time. The sensitive skin on my thighs flushed at the sweet contact with him and I bucked my hips up. I felt Edward`s hair on the apex of my legs and through the fabric of my underwear...

_Holy shit, I`m a basket case..._

Edward`s laughter echoed in my ear drums. I had said it out loud!

"Honey, please... Please!" I begged and a mere second later watched Edward kiss me around my belly button before grasping my thong in his teeth and dragged it down, just like he`d done with the stockings. I picked up my bum to help him, but his index fingers bent around the sides assisted him perfectly, and soon I found myself lying on a bed in front of Edward Cullen, naked.

His lips resumed their trails up my legs and they never stopped when they reached my wet place...

Then he kissed me. There.

_Oh my._

He`d touched me before but it was always under the blanket, so he had never seen me completely naked. And now his luscious lips were on me. While my breaths hit short and shallow staccato, Edward`s two fingers opened my glossy folds and slid along them. A nail grazed my hard nub. I gasped loudly. When his fingers parted with my flesh for a second, they took some of my stickiness with them. My head fell limply back on the pillows and I wove my hands in Edward`s bronze hair.

"You are exquisite, Bella... I don`t know how I deserved you... so soft and lovely... and wet..."

_Tease._

"Edward, I`m not sure we can do this tonight, I`m not gonna last long..." I managed to breathe out.

_You`re not the only one overexcited here!_

I sat up and pressed my chest into his. He lay on the sheets and without another thought I took those boxer shorts in my hands and freed Edward`s erection. The cotton landed wherever the hell it landed and I turned my eyes to...

_Well, hello there! Where have _you _been my whole life, my friend?_

Is it normal to think that a man`s organ is... beautiful? Is it OK? I mean... I wanted to laugh at my own thought, but holy macaroni, Little Eddie is gorgeous! I swear I had never seen anything like him. If I could detach him from his owner, I could bloody carry him around with me, I mean, _in _me, all the time! I remembered his silkiness and smoothness and my whole being was itching to get to know him better, big wink!

I played Incy Wincy spider up Edward`s leg stopping at the newly discovered delicious attraction. With the tip of my index finger I circled the head. The moisture there left my finger as glistening as Edward`s ones were a moment earlier when he touched me. In a daze, I put the finger in my mouth and that`s when I heard Edward`s loud growl. He had witnessed my whole interaction with his shaft.

"Shit, Bella!"

I sobered up, but before I had time to assess the situation, Edward had turned away from me and opened a small drawer beside the bed. I seized the moment and slithered my hands up his bare back. His groan was achy and appreciative all at the same time. He took a little plastic packet out, shut the drawer and pressed his hands to the mattress. I embaced him from behind and clung my chest to his back and then kissed him lovingly in the hair, neck and shoulders.

"There is nobody in the world I have ever wanted more, Edward. Nobody. Ever."

He turned and kissed my lips, "Nobody, Bella, ever," he declared.

Then he tore the wrapping. I reached my hands out, but he smiled at me sweetly.

"Sweetheart, if you touch me now again, it may be over before we begin... Tonight I have to do it myself I`m afraid..."

"OK," I agreed and gnawed on my lower lip as I watched Edward slip the protection on. We swallowed hard in unison.

All by myself this time, I put my head on the pillows and brought Edward with me. We kissed and nipped our mouths. My nails scratched his back when I tried to draw him nearer as his hands teased my breasts yet again before skating down to my femininity. Without breaking contact of our upper bodies Edward`s middle finger passed my opening and his thumb rubbed above.

"Are you OK?" I heard a ragged whisper.

"Yes," I let out.

After a few beautiful moments the finger exited me and I cried out in frustration, but it gave way to the feeling of something else, something larger... Edward entered me slowly, bit by bit and my soul trembled at the completion it felt. I was happy for my soul. I couldn`t be prouder that it was Edward stretching me now, making me his...

"You`re here," I gasped to myself rather than him.

"Heaven," I heard a whispered response. I looked at his dearest face and his eyes were closed, he was far away...

"I love you so much, baby," I told him when he opened them.

" I love you too, sweetheart," he leaned down for a kiss as he glided in and out of me agonizingly slowly and melodiously.

I clutched his hair as he placed his head on my shoulder and began kissing and sucking me there.

"Sway with me, Bella."

_Oh, god..._

So I swayed, rolling my hips back and forth, weeping at each departure and lapping at his presence every time he returned. When I caught a glimpse of our bodies dancing together and Edward`s bottom rocking in perfect harmony with my lower body, I craved more, I wanted more of him and I wanted to give him more of me. I wanted him to have me, to own me.

"Edward, love, wait, I want to pull myself up a little."

His hands were shaking as he helped me into my half-sitting position. I felt the full pillows supporting my back and the sturdy headboard behind my head. Edward followed me and I guided his manhood into me again. He hissed at my touch on him, but there must have been something reassuring in my smile, because he pressed into me more firmly and searched for my reaction. I gave him a victorious cackle and he pushed harder. I placed my feet on either side of him and my legs rubbed the sides of his buttocks with each thrust. I was rewarded with loud growls and feeling bold I let my hands roam around Edward`s bottom and squeeze his buns.

"Fuck, Bella, you`re dangerous," he said heavily and pulled himself even higher, holding the headbord above me. It changed our angle and I grew so thirsty for him that I flung my legs around him granting him more access.

The air was thick with desire. The sounds of our bodies connecting excitedly joined the symphony of our franticly drumming hearts, blood pumping hard in our veins and the duet of our breaths. Edward pushed into me so greedily that I wanted to sing with joy. With each hard thrust he filled my body and soul. He was exploring inside me with such confidence, claiming me. And I could almost hear my teased to the limits nerves taking his each sleek move as their way to create sparks of electric current and send them flying through our desperate bodies. Happy things started happening in my stomach and I sensed that my walls would begin pulsing soon...

"I`m close," I whispered before moaning loudly at another brush against the nerves and the tiny spot in me. I pushed my hips down on him begging for release.

"I love you, Bella," he said and added his thumb to the point of our connection. I screamed and seconds later my clit burst with heat along with my ecstatic walls closing around Edward, very ostentatiously demanding for him to stay where he was. I pulsated and shuddered repeatedly and I swear if I were standing I would have lost my footing, the room was spinning around me. I held him as close as I could and a few moments later his breath hitched before his body fell apart in my arms. We rocked to the waves of our pleasure for a long while before eventually slowing down to a stop.

"Stay for a minute," I said breaking the silence when he slipped out of me. Edward smiled at me warmly and lay on the bed bringing me with him and pulling me on top. I listened to the beating of his heart and he played with my hair.

"I can`t believe we finally managed... " he chuckled.

"Without any interruption," I finished.

"Aha."

I lifted my head and put my chin on his chest to see his eyes.

"Was it worth waiting for?" I asked.

His eyes smiled, "Come here, you little devil," he kissed me and I giggled against his lips.

"Where have you been my whole life, Mr. Cullen?"

"Waiting for you, Miss Swan."

Edward`s green jewels sparkled and I traced his lips with my finger and then slid off of him and rested on my back, right beside him. Edward snuggled me into his body and started trailing my arms and legs lightly with the tips of his fingers. I sighed and heard him smile for an answer.

"Can I tell you something stupid?" I began.

"Stupid?"

"OK, maybe not stupid, but totally cheesy and cliche?"

"I like cheese, give me a piece of camembert any time," he joked, "and cliches prove to be true, so I`m all ears."

"Being with you has been... unbelievable, indescribable. And the cliche thing is that I would want nothing more than to stay like this forever..."

"We _have_ forever, Bella, _our_ forever," he said and I linked my hand on his, resting on my leg.

Over the years I spent uncountable nights crying silently into my pillow asking why I wasn`t born a different person. Why I was me, Bella Swan, why couldn`t I have been born at a different time, in a different place, living a different life. If I were some other woman, maybe I would have been falling asleep and waking up beside my beloved man, the love of my life. Tonight, lying in Edward`s arms I thanked God for making me who I was. I was thankful and grateful for the place and time and people who brought me into this world. I was exactly where I was supposed to be. No other woman was held by the most wonderful man on the planet. _I _was in his arms. Harry Potter, _the chosen one_? Move over, buddy. It`s me who is the Heavens` favorite! It`s _me_, it`s _my _time, _my_ life. I`m not a spectator anymore, I play the main role and I wouldn`t change it for the world. From now on I will be praying for things _not_ to change!

I fell asleep floating on a cloud.

"Mmmm." I sighed and slowly looked up. _Oh, it`s morning and it`s… Edward next to me._ I was lying on my stomach, with one leg loosely on his hip and waist and my left arm on his chest. _Oops! _The images of last night flooded my mind and I quickly closed my eyes. _Maybe he won`t notice me?_

"Good morning," he murmured softly. _Oh, God, we really did it, did we?_ My eyes opened cautiously and I looked at him again. He was watching me with a mixture of softness and desire.

"Good morning," the shy tone of my whisper gave me away. Edward smiled. I eyed my position on him and slipped off, keeping both of my legs and arms to myself. His smile disappeared and for a brief moment he looked somewhat worried before slipping one arm underneath me.

"Come here." I didn`t have time to react. He pulled me on top of himself, legs to legs, hips to hips, chest to chest and face to face. "Hi," he whispered again, his face barely inches from mine, his hands stroking my arms up and down. My palms rested on his chest and I could feel his heartbeat picking up. I trembled.

"Hi," that`s all I managed to say before blushing and trying to look away. My body remembered where his hands were last night, how they touched me and _where_ they touched me. I remembered what his eyes saw a few hours earlier. I remembered what those lips did to my body and I couldn`t stop the things that were happening to me now. My heart was racing, my temperature threatened to result in combustion any second now and… oh, that moisture between my thighs…

Edward brushed my hair away from my face and behind my ears. I shivered slightly. _Traitor body!_ He smiled.

"Last night was… incredible," he murmured and I blushed profusely. "Crimson is gorgeous on you…" he chuckled cheekily.

I closed my eyes and moaned, "I loved every single second," I breathed out and my mouth moved against his.

"So did I," he whispered catching a breath. For some reason I felt more comfortable and looked into his eyes with newly found courage. He seized the moment and gave me a devilish smile. "Do you have any idea what you do to me, Bella?" As if making sure I knew what he was talking about, he wriggled his hips underneath me. Of course I knew. His erection was pressing against me in an unmistakable fashion and his words caused another shot of moisture pool between my legs.

I just moaned in response and his member twitched beneath me. I sighed quickly. Edward watched my torture. My cheeks were bright red again.

"I think I need a shower." _A cold one! _ I looked away and slipped off of his chest and then realized that he was licking his lips while I was giving him a show of my bare chest. _Oops._ Our… `nocturnal activities` happened in the dark, morning light was an entirely different story.

"What time does the baby shower begin at?"

"At one thirty, but I`ve got to be there before midday to help the girls get it ready."

"Do you need to go home to change first?"

"No, I have clothes for today in the car."

"OK. So, you aren`t going home at all before the party then?"

"No."

"And I`m collecting Sophie and Rachel from Siobhan`s house on my own?"

"Yes, you are. I will pick them up from here after the party. That was the plan, is it still OK?"

"Absolutely! I just wanted to make sure I remembered it right."

"You`re great," I kissed him on the lips.

"Thanks. That means though that you can stay here with me for another couple of hours...?" he flashed me an unmistakable smile.

"Well, if you want you could take a shower and I`ll make breakfast-"

"Bella," a kiss under my chin, "Bella," kiss on my neck, "Bella," another one on my chest..."I need to go to the bathroom, but not for a shower yet. I`m not ready to... wash you off of me," he finished and made me meow. Edward laughed.

I lay on my stomach. He got out of bed and was pulling the comforter along with him. I felt a rush of boldness.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I called after him and before I could reconsider, I grabbed a corner of the thick fabric and pulled. It slipped off Edward`s body.

"Pardon?" he asked, but it was too late, the comforter was half on the bed in my hands, half on the carpet.

"Oh my, what a view," I hissed and bit my lip looking at his gorgeous firm bare bottom, "Look at these buns, fresh from the bakery…"

Slowly, Edward turned around and looked at me from under his eyelashes. I caught a glimpse of his eyes and glanced at his front. He cleared his throat and I licked my lips.

He stood there for a second too long and my conscious mind scolded me for being so naughty and ogling the man`s body. A blush crept up my cheeks. Edward walked slowly back to me and leaned over my head. He held my chin with one finger.

"Bella," he whispered, "don't be ashamed, please. That was bloody sweet. I love when you do little things like that."

I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds and when I opened them again, his eyes were still boring into mine, "I`m just not used being like this with you… But I`ll get better, I promise."

"Sweetheart, I don`t need you to promise anything, because it sounds like I`m disappointed in you and it`s not true. I adore you the way you are. And when you do things like that, it shows me that you feel comfortable and safe with me. There`s no better feeling, believe me."

"OK," I whispered.

Edward kissed the tip of my nose, "I love you."

"And I love you," I answered.

"So," he said in a sultry voice and let go of my face, "I`ll be back in a minute…" he traced my back with his fingers and I squirmed as he pushed my blanket aside, "and then…" I felt a cool finger drawing a heart on one of my bum cheeks, "I`ll tell you what other things I like and you`ll tell me _your_ little secrets, alright?" He kissed my bum lightly in the centre of the heart he`d traced.

"Uh…" I sighed with pleasure.

"Mmmm…" he murmured to himself, "mental note taken, I`ll be doing this more often," and not being able to stop himself, he looked over at me and deliberately lowered his lips to my bum again, stopping an inch from it. He blew gently on my skin and my bottom instinctively bounced up. Edward chuckled quietly to himself. I bit my lip and shut my eyes as I felt another kiss on my skin.

"You have the prettiest bottom, Bella Swan, I love it," he said and I felt wet and ready for more… "and it looks like your bottom likes me, too."

"Cheeky," I said.

Edward`s face was once again in front of mine, "I`ll check all of your other parts in a little moment, alright? I`m curious if they like me as well."

"Then you better go to the bathroom now, mister, because I want to check you, too."

"Oh, God," he sighed and stood up.

Just as he was about to go out the door, he stood still and turned his head to look over at me. I was staring at his yummy ass. He smiled and wriggled it before disappearing round the corner. I laughed.

He came back a minute later and no, we certainly weren`t ready to shower yet! What we _were_ ready for was repeating the previous night`s dance and music that our bodies, minds and souls played with one another. In broad daylight, the visual stimulation added to the experience and I discovered that I could be quite vocal during sexy times… not for the show though, but naturally, I simply wasn`t physically able to contain the pleasure, my body craved to share the joy at least with the walls around us. I could almost see the walls blush… As the room went spinning around me again, I gladly joined the women who claim that they see stars when they`re with their men. I think I actually went beyond that, heavenly gates kept opening one by one, inviting me further and deeper right into paradise. All the while I clutched Edward`s soft hair as he pushed me where I had never been before…

Unexpectedly, although not surprisingly ; -) we fell asleep for an hour. The existential question about what heaven looked and felt like explained itself to me; my heaven was in Edward`s arms. He was my happy, safe place, my home.

I rushed to the bathroom to wash and Edward started breakfast. When he saw me a few minutes later, he rolled his eyes and moaned theatrically.

"What?" I laughed coming closer to him.

"More torture devices," he accused me with a wink.

"Torture devices?!"

"Your clothes, Bella."

I scanned my Saturday-lunch, baby-shower-for-my-friend attire, a pair of grey pants, simple top and cardigan over it. I would call them "mommy clothes."

"What`s wrong with my clothes?"

"Nothing is wrong with them, honey!" Edward laughed and pecked me on the cheek, "On the contrary, they remind me of your softness and tease my senses. You probably spent hours choosing them in the store and all _I_ wanna do is take them off of you."

"What a waste!" I giggled.

"In my presence it is, but I don`t want anyone else seeing you like I can…"

"Hmmm," I muttered, "Are we jealous again?"

"Ferociously!" he declared and I thought I would need another shower soon.

"It feels good," I glanced at him and lust gave way to love in his eyes. He was glad that he made me feel that way.

"I miss you already…" he murmured into my freshly washed, wet hair. I shuddered and broke in goosebumps.

"We have to go in an hour," I waved the lovey dovey clouds from my mind and forced my conscious to surface and take charge, "Why don`t you take a shower and I will finish breakfast? If my mind is to be present at your sister`s party, I need coffee, lots of strong coffee."

"Kazaar nespresso is in the press. It`s the most intense one."

"Great. Will you have some, too?"

"Yes, please. I have a sneaky suspicion my mind is as hazy as yours, sweetheart," and with that he left me in the kitchen.

At eleven I drove to the Cullens` house where the baby shower was being held and Edward went the opposite direction, to collect my children from my neighbors` house. He was going to keep them occupied for a few hours before bringing them back to his apartment where I would meet them after the party and bring them back home. _Phew!_

I picked up balloons and streamers from the party store and the cake from the confectioner`s and then made my way to see the Mommy-to-be and the rest of the girls.

"Hi Alice!" I called out excitedly when I saw her in the door, "how are you?"

"Oh, hi!" Alice exclaimed and turned around "Blithering beetroots, Rose, look, here is The Morning After Glow! And somewhere behind it is Bella!"

"Oh, sweet baby Jesus! Alice, stop, these people don`t even know me!" I blurted out attempting to defend myself, but truth be told, I wouldn`t mind if the little green people on Mars knew what had happened between Edward and I.

"Don`t be daft, nobody`s here yet, there`s only Rose and me. Come on in, sister!" she motioned for me to get in.

We hugged as closely as Alice`s tummy allowed us. Then she held my hands in hers.

"So?" Her brows rose. I turned beetroot red, bit my lip and shut my eyes. My friend giggled.

"Alice please, he`s your brother."

"In this situation his being a _man_ is much more significant than our genealogical connections. Spill. I can see you`re happy; heck the whole Seattle can see the `I`ve just... done _this _and _that_` smile on your gorgeous face, but I need to hear it from you!" She exclaimed and I noticed Rose coming towards us from round the corner.

"Hi, Bella," Rose welcomed me and squinted, "Holy crow, this is what I call _glow_, girl, woohoo! Somebody got some last night!"

"Somebody got _a lot_ last night, you mean," Alice added laughing. Rose took position beside her sister-in-law and stared at me with as much expectation.

"?" Four blue eyes looked into mine, which were quickly filling with tears.

"Are you alright?" Rose whispered.

I nodded and looked away, "I had never felt so loved in my life before, girls. I felt important and cherished, truly cherished. And desired and... I don`t know, like a woman, you know? Like this is how it`s supposed to be," I dared to glance at the women in front of me and wiped the salty drops off my cheeks.

"Wonderful," they both said simultaniously.

"Welcome to the family," Rosalie added with a broad smile and all three of us laughed.

Rose ordered Alice to have a little rest before the party and when we were alone, she showed me the room that Esme had prepared for the shower. There were going to be twelve of us altogether. Each lady was participating in the preparations, from the food to the decorations and getting games and entertainment ready. The lady of the house pulled in as I went out to take the cake and balloons out of the Mercedes. We laughed when we saw each other with hands full of stuff for the celebrations. I could tell how happy Esme was for her daughter and how proudly she was helding the party in their family home.

We hang up the streamers and scattered the balloons around the room. We sliced some bread and made tons of fruit salad. We took out soft drinks and juice. Close to one o`clock Rose and I set the table while Esme went to check on Alice and help her change.

"I can`t remember the last baby shower I atteneded," I said putting plates down, "this is gonna be fun!"

Rosalie laughed, "I know! And you`re _really_ excited today, Bella. I`m so happy for you, you deserve an amazing man and Edward is just that." 

"Thank you. I suddenly feel more courageous, more open and confident. I`ve always been confident when it came to my girls, but with myself it was a different story. Now, with Edward I feel more daring. He doesn`t even have to do anything, it`s just the knowledge that he is, and he loves me. I`m stronger with him."

Rose smiled, "I know what you mean. Remember when you told me that sometimes somebody else has more faith in us than we have in ourselves? It`s a bit like that, isn`t it?"

"It`s exactly like that!" I exclaimed, "You look happier, too."

"I`m trying. I haven`t taken any hormones in a month and a half. I even put on five pounds! Emmett is laughing that I`m filling in and he loves it. It`s hard at times, but I haven`t cried in nearly three days, so…" she shrugged.

"And how is the new job?"

"Great! Really great! Seattle is so much bigger than Fairbanks of course, there is so much more going on. The team at DOHERTY`s is supercool. They`re dedicated, funny people, around our age. I have already gone out for a drink after work with them the other night. For years I couldn`t do anything spontaneous like that, Bella; there was always the matter of my hormones intake and all sorts of other drugs. Even if alcohol or just a late night wouldn`t affect them, I didn`t want to take the risk. The other night I had two glasses of wine and a cocktail and felt great, relaxed, unwound, just good. I told Em about it over the phone, when he was still in Alaska, and he cried. It`s like he`s getting a new Rose or rather the _old_ Rose, the one from before the struggle."

"That`s fantastic. You`re a strong woman."

"I hope so, Bella. I just want a sweet, innocent little body in my arms. It can take years, which sucks. Unless we used a private adoption agency or maybe even found a pregnant woman who wanted to give up her baby ourselves. But I don`t feel good about it."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Meeting an expectant mother, looking into her eyes… I would have felt like I was taking her baby away from her."

"Against her will?"

"Yes. I would have spent the rest of my life thinking about her pain. I`d rather help a woman like that make a life for herself and her baby than tearing the little one apart from her."

"You know," I said holding back tears, "your baby has no idea how lucky he or she is. Just you wait, your shower`s gonna be next, I promise you! And I will personally throw a serious party then!"

"Thanks!" she chuckled as we continued placing cutlery beside the dishes, "But if Edward continues putting that ecstatic smile on your face, I might have competition in the baby department."

"Oh my god, don't scare me, I have two monkeys at home already!"

"I know and they are gorgeous, but wouldn`t you like a mini Edward one day? You two would make beautiful babies."

"After the girls were born I never even thought seriously about a man in my life, I thought it would be Sophie, Rachel and I, forever. Edward is a huge surprise from fate. I don`t want to spoil it by being greedy, but deep inside… yeah, you might be right. Maybe one day…" I dreamed aloud. Rose winked at me and then we heard the doorbell; the first guest had arrived.

Within minutes the place was buzzing. I met Alice`s friends, neighbors and co-workers. At the door each lady got a necklace made of safety pins and was going to lose one pin every time she said the word "baby". The girl with the most pins still at the end of the party would get a real, pretty, fashion necklace. At the scheduled time we sat down to munch on everything from stuffed tomatoes to fresh Greek salad with feta cheese. Edward filled my mind at every interval. I couldn`t wait to see him later on. And knowing that he was looking after my children made me feel even closer to him.

The first game we played was the usual one, guessing the size of Alice`s tummy. Her friend Sienna who had a baby recently herself was the winner, her estimate was the closest to the actual measurement. Mommy-to-be was exactly forty two and a half inches wide and she still had a month to go! She told us that she was precisely two inches wider just before giving birth to her son, so I wouldn`t expect her to get much bigger with this little bundle now either. I overestimated her size by a few inches, but I based it on the memories of my own stomach at that stage of pregnancy and I was having twins, I was massive! No wonder I didn`t have a chance winning the game

; -) We had a great laugh though and Alice enjoyed it.

Then we sat down with plain baby onesies and fabric paints. Painting on the onesie was like painting on the t-shirt for Edward for Christmas all over again. We shared stories about kids and then eventually gossiped about celebrities as we worked. It was entertaining girly time. I lost five pins telling the ladies about bringing my daughters home after their birth, so I let the others talk while I listened, giggled and painted a garden full of pink daisies on my onesie. At that stage we all knew that the baby-on-the-way was a girl, Alice couldn`t keep that piece of information from her husband and as soon as Jasper learned about his daughter, Alice spread the news quickly, she was so happy. Esme shared her memories from the time when Alice was only a growing fetus and then a tiny, toothless tot. We all cried with laughter, Esme had an incredible story telling gift.

Then it was time to "pin the sperm on the egg". The name of the game itself caused us to burst with laughter again, then Louise, one of Alice`s co-workers from the boutique stuck a drawing of a female reproductive organs to a large board. In the womb on the picture was an egg and on the egg was a photo of Alice`s face. We were given a "sperm pin" each, with a picture of Jasper on it. Blindfolded with a baby cloth one by one we tried to stick the pin on the egg or as closely as possible. Rose and I won, we both placed the `swimmers` right where they belonged! Someone commented that no wonder, we were the Cullen boys` girls and probably `practicing` a lot. I didn't know if it was me or it really got very hot at that moment ; -) It was such great fun that we played it three times and Rose got it right at every attempt. We joked about it, but I could see how much it meant to her, she wanted to place that baby in the womb so badly.

Later we decided it was time to open the gifts. Among women only, we were all able to `ooh` and `aah` and `aw` all we wished, without having male eyes rolled at us. And that was exactly what we did; expressing our uninhibited joy and squeaking with delight at cute stuffed toys, the `ohmygoodness` tiny pink dresses and nursery rhymes CDs and books. We laughed at the tons of diapers already stocked up and took turns guessing how quickly Miss Whitlock would go through them. Esme gave the expectant mommy and daddy a voucher for a baby and young child first aid course, which we agreed was an excellent idea. The girls from the boutique gave Alice an elegantly written letter, a `contract` in which they offered that for the first month of the new baby`s life they would take turns and provide Alice`s family with home cooked dinners. And Rose and I gave her a voucher for a professional photo session, first of the bump and then the newborn. Alice cried.

The present opening made us giddy and hungry for that deliciously looking, pregnant tummy shaped cake, so while two ladies helped Rose brew tea and coffee in the kitchen, I asked Alice to sit down, pushed a stool under her legs and massaged her neck and shoulders. A few minutes later we simply chatted and giggled some more.

Two more games followed our slowdown time. First we blindfolded volunteers and let them touch baby related items, asking them to figure out what they had in their hands. Hilarity ensued after some toys and other baby products misguided the person and her determination to get it right made her come up with completely unexpected suggestions. Lucky me, I got a wind-up bath toy; it would have been tricky, but it was almost identical to one that my girls had when they were smaller.

We got on so well that time was flying, so we came up with the last bit of fun before would let Alice rest again. The Whitlocks` neighbor Tara read a line of a nursery rhyme, but one word in it was wrong. We had to guess the right word and then sing the whole nursery. I couldn`t remember when I had laughed so much and so hard last; try to stay calm while watching a bunch of grown-up women faithfully performing their renditions of `One, two, buckle my shoe` or `The wheels on the bus`, along with the appropriate actions!

It was getting darker outside and one by one the ladies said goodbye, one of them richer in the necklace won in the `don`t say baby` game. Edward called me and said that he had to go to his friend`s Stefan`s dental office, there was some kind of emergency there. He suggested that I went back to my house after the party and he would bring Sophie and Rachel a bit later. After learning that there was nothing wrong with either of my girls or himself, I stayed with the Cullen ladies to help them clean up.

"Girls, I cannot thank you enough, this has been so much fun!" Alice said joining us. She was tired but hyper and there was no way she would stay away from the kitchen when we worked.

"It was our pleasure," Rose answered.

"I didn`t have a baby shower when I was pregnant with Hugo. We were in London and baby showers aren`t traditional there."

"Oh!" I made a sad face, "Well, I think we celebrated for both Hugo and the little missy today though."

"You`re dead right! The whole experience has been so different. Far and foremost I haven`t been alone for the first five months of the pregnancy this time…"

"You know," I started, "I`ve wanted to ask you about that for a long time. Edward told me a little bit about how you and Jasper met, but it`s a fascinating story how you went to live in London and you were pregnant and then Jasper found out and went to see you…"

"Oh, the story of our life!" Alice chuckled, "I had eyes for Jasper only as soon as I saw him for the first time. He was Edward`s classmate and his best buddy. I sensed that there was potential between us and I really, _really _wanted him, but I was three years younger which when you are fifteen and eighteen is like a century. I crushed on him hard and my suffering was becoming less and less silent. I was making the stupid mistake of showing him that I cared. He liked me, but the age difference and the fact that he was my brother`s friend probably just weren`t cool, so I watched him going out with another girl. When they broke up I was so hopeful that he would notice me at last, but literally a week later he moved on to someone else and my heart was shattered again. I understood that he wouldn`t be with me, and to my mind he acted like he didn't even see me, like I didn't exist. I was so upset and angry…" Alice shook her head.

"One day I went to a birthday party for a girl from my class," she continued, "There was a boy there who I liked; there was nothing between us, but he was nice enough. The atmosphere was good and I led him on and we kissed. It was my first kiss and I cried for two weeks afterwards, because it hadn`t been Jasper. I wanted to hurt him by kissing another boy and of course I only hurt myself. I was disgusted, but also in so much pain, I felt so unwanted. Obviously, eventually I got over it, but never quite forgot it. I thought it didn't matter anymore, but years later when Jasper and I were arguing for the thousandth time, I told him. I screamed at him how much I had wanted him to be my first kisser and he didn't do it. Funny, given that I chose the moment for that nearly nine years later… it was the night before I left to start a new life in London, literally minutes before we made Hugo…" she blushed and closed her eyes, "he wanted to show me how he would have kissed me that first time…"

"Oh! Then maybe it`s good that he didn't kiss you nine years earlier? You know if that kiss led to a baby?" I said and we started laughing hysterically.

"Girls, do you know where Rosalie is?" Esme asked as she brought more dishes from the dining room, "Emmett just called, he wanted to talk to her."

"She went to the bathroom a couple of minutes ago," I responded, already on the way to check on Emmett`s wife.

I lifted my hand to knock on the door, but I noticed it ajar.

"Rose?" I called. I knew she was there, I could hear noises.

"Come in, I`m OK," she sniffled and I stuck my head in the doorway.

_Oh, dear. _

Rosalie stood in front of a mirror, holding the sink, her face dry but red from freshly wiped tears.

"Did something happen?"

"No. It`s just…" she stopped and breathed in deeply, "It`s been a great party, but… a bit too much to handle in the end. All that baby talk. I tried to be strong and I`m getting better, but sometimes I can`t stop the tears," she explained and sat on the edge of a bathtub. I sat next to her.

"Rose, you are strong, but you don`t have to be a superwoman all the time, nobody expects that from you!"

I glanced at the doorway and saw Alice and Esme with a phone in her hand.

"It was Emmett again, he`s on the way home," we heard.

A minute later he found all four of us sitting on that edge of the tub. The moment his eyes met Rose`s ones, I knew her heart was safe and her pain shared. Esme, Alice and I left the bathroom and Emmett sat beside his wife and swayed her silently back and forth, like a child.

It was half past five when I pulled out of the Cullens` driveway. So much had happened in the previous twenty four hours, the closeness with Edward, Alice`s shower and all the new people I met, the laughter, the joy, the tears…

Some car`s lights flashed by one of the houses down from mine. I drove right past it. It had been newly sold, so it was probably the new owners looking around.

I stopped the engine, got out of the car and took the bag with my clothes from my `sleepover` out of the trunk. A deep yawn escaped my mouth. _Gosh, am I exhausted! _Somebody chuckled a few feet from me. My head snapped up.

"Bella?!"

Slowly, I turned to my left… I hadn`t seen him in a while, but I would recognize those blue eyes and blond mane pretty much anywhere. Even in the dark his usually pale skin looked tanned; but what else could I expect; he had spent the past two years in Spain after all. Trendy jeans, a pair of Chucks and a khaki green jacket. In his thirties, he still looked like a college freshman. His lips formed a wide smile.

"I don`t believe it," I whispered to myself as I stood face to face with Riley Biers.


	18. Chapter 18

**Just a little warning – there is some very mature content down there (pun fully intended). If you wish to skip it, I suggest you stop reading after he milk buying scene :- )**

**Thank you for all your PMs and reviews! I have been reading fanfic for quite some time now, but only when I started writing did I understand how much feedback means to the authors. **

**Chapter 18 BPOV**

**IZZIE AND THE GIRL IN THE MIRROR**

"Wh… Wh…," I couldn`t form a sentence.

"My god, it really _is _you, isn`t it?" Riley`s brows almost hit his hairline.

"Well… yeah… um… yeah…" I stuttered and my heart thumped.

"Well come here then, let me look at you!" He jumped closer and lifted me up, making my feet hang above the ground, "What are the chances!"

"Aaa! Put me down, you crazy!" I giggled.

"Wow," he exhaled as he set me on my feet, "_This _is what I call a surprise. Gorgeous as ever," he looked into my eyes.

"Oh, stop that," I slapped his chest with a laugh.

"Still not good at taking compliments, I better work on this," he joked, "Anyway, what are you doing _here_?"

"I _live_ here, Riley."

"You mean right here, this is your house?" he pointed at… well, my house.

"Yes! How did you find me? I mean… um… were you looking for me or…?"

"No," he shook his head with a smile, "Sorry to disappoint you, but I wasn`t looking for you, _Izzie_. What number is it, 55?", he scanned my door, "I`m 49, three houses down."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it looks like I`m your new neighbor!" he exclaimed, the expression on his face still as astounded as my own.

"No way!" I shouted shocked but elated.

"Yes way! I know, I can`t believe it myself. I knew-" he started but I quickly cut him off.

"Come on inside, it`s cold out here. You`ll tell me everything."

Between our "wows" and "can`t believes" we sat down at the table with some tea.

"Out of all places… Who would have thought…, "Riley wondered. God, was it good to see him! "I like it here," he praised my interior designing skills "I knew you were moving to Seattle, but never in a million years would I have suspected we would end up being neighbors. This is incredible!" 

"I know, I don`t even know what to say. It`ll take time to sink in," I laughed.

"So, tell me, how are the girls?

"Thriving! We are all really happy. My job is great and I`m in contact with the Phoenix office nearly every day; with some people I chat more often now than I did when we worked next door to each other in Arizona. And the house, as you can see is a home now."

"Great," he smiled, "How long are you here again, must me over half a year now?" he frowned, thinking.

"Since the end of last June, so eight months, yeah…" I answered, taken aback myself. _How time flies!_

"Is it very different to Phoenix?"

"It`s completely different because I`m on my own. I mean, my mom and Phil aren`t here. But I found a lovely girl to who helps me out with the children and the house."

"Sssuper," I got a wink.

"Ow, I missed that!"

"What?" he asked.

"Only Charlie and you say `sssuper`, I missed it."

"Must be native to Forks people," Riley joked.

"Must be," I agreed.

"You look great, _Izzie_," he teased, "and very happy."

I instinctively looked away for a second. _Please, don`t turn red, please, don`t turn red, please! _

"I am, thank you," I responded, hoping he wouldn`t comment on the color on my face.

"You`ve met someone…"Riley scanned my face quickly. He is no fool. "OOOOOK," he started, "I didn`t mean to-"

"It`s fine, Riley. You know me, I always blush like a fool," I waved him off.

"Well, he must be a super guy. Not everybody is worthy of that blush, Bella."

I swallowed thickly and nodded, "You are a sweetie, you know? And yes, he`s more than worth it."

"Is he with the girls now?"

"Yes. I`m just back from his sister`s baby shower. He`s probably on the way here as we speak with Rachel and Sophie."

"I can`t wait to see them, they must have grown a lot."

"Well, we haven`t seen you in what, about two years now?"

"Shoot, don`t remind me, Bella, I`m so sorry for not having been in touch! Life`s been busy and crazy, but it`s no excuse, I know."

"Stop, there`s no need for that."

"I promised to be there for you…"

"And I appreciate it, but you have your own life to live. I never expected anything from you."

"Now that we are neighbors, I will be seeing you and the girls much more often," he said with a smile.

"Good," I stated, "children need their father around, you know," I winked at him.

"Haha," he laughed, "even if – oh, sorry," he looked at his pocket following a buzz, "Excuse me, I better take this," he stood up and flipped open his cell.

I went to the kitchen and managed to take out some food out of the fridge for dinner before Riley came in behind me.

"Everything alright?" I asked.

"Yeah. That was the moving company. I`m so sorry, Bella, but I have to go…"

"That`s OK," I chuckled and walked over to him, "I`m glad to have you back though."

"I`m flying back to Spain tomorrow morning, but will be back in less than two weeks. Need to do the rest of the packing, close bank accounts and stuff like that. When I get back, we`ll catch up, alright?" he rubbed his forehead.

I nodded. I remembered my own moving to Seattle and of course Rose and Emmett starting anew as well, and now Riley. I funny that we all ended up in the same place. I felt like singing "It`s A Small World After All".

I stood on my tiptoes and Riley hugged me tightly. It was so warm and familiar and comforting, lovely. Different to Edward though… Different magnitude.

Riley was a neighbour while Edward was home.

As I found myself alone again, my mind automatically drifted to my Mr. Cullen. My skin was getting excitedly flushed at the very thought of him. Now that my body had a galore of memories of _us_ from last night and this morning, it liked to replay the slideshow in my mind, along with the sensual reactions… I had to play it down for the sake of the children. _Oh my god, I`m gonna see my babies!_

My new neighbour must have barely gotten into his house before Edward`s car lights flashed through my sitting room windows. I rushed to the door to welcome my three sweethearts.

"Mommy! Mommy!" I heard Rachel and Sophie still strapped in the back of the silver Volvo.

"Hi, my angels!" I tended to Sophie and mirrored Edward`s ministrations on Rachel`s seatbelt. He winked at me in the process and my stomach burned. _God, to be alone with him again!_

"Hey, my little duckie, how are you?" I grinned at Sophie when I lifted her out of the car and into my arms, "I missed you and I love you so much!" I squashed her and she giggled at my hair tickling her cheek.

"Did you have a nice time with Siobhan, Maggie and Edward today?" I gaped at her like I hadn`t seen her in twenty four months and not hours.

"Yes. I make food for birdies yesterday," she bowed her head repeatedly and I saw Edward approaching me with Rachel in his arms.

"Hi, baby!" I nuzzled her and continued to peck her cheek till she giggled too.

Edward`s face was inches from mine. He smiled a quick secret smile and kissed my forehead while holding my daughter. My soul soared. Such a silly, melodramatic scene.

As walked back into the warmth of the house, Sophie held my face to get my attention, "Mommy, Chichi wasn`t nice to me."

"Oops, what happened?"

"She pulled my hair." _Oh, the sad theatrical eyes!_

"Oh, that`s not nice, you`re right. But I`m sure Edward talked to you and Chichi about it and she apologized?"

"She gave me a hug and said sorry."

"OK."

"And did Chichi enjoy herself as well?" I said to Rachel, who was feeling a bit shy for having been in trouble. "Did you make food for birdies too, love?"

"Yes," she smiled at me shyly, leaning into Edward`s embrace. I sensed that she was sinking into him for comfort. She looked relieved when I didn`t exploit the particular subject of hair pulling.

"Tell me about it. How did you make it?" I turned back to my Little Wise Owl.

"We put them on strings."

"?"

My puzzled expression elicited a short laugh from Edward.

"Tell Mommy what you put on the strings," he said.

"Ummm…" Sophie looked up at him searching for words.

"Cheerios!" Rachel helped out.

"Oh, right! You _threaded_ Cheerios onto strings and put them outside for the birds?" I suggested.

"Yes!" two little people bounced, free of heavy coats, hats and scarves.

"And who gave you the cereal and the strings?" I continued while walking into the bathroom with the girls to wash their hands. Edward had gone out to take out their overnight bags from his car.

"Maggie did."

"Maggie is a great friend, isn`t she?"

Two heads nodded feverishly. I grinned to myself.

"And what did you do with Edward today? Did you go to the swimming pool?"

"Yes, we did! We did splish splash! And Edward`s um… brother comed, too!"

"He _came _along with you? Wonderful! So there were Rachel, Sophie, Hugo and his daddy Jasper, and Edward and his brother Emmett?"

"Yep. Did you see Hugo`s mommy today?" Rachel inquired.

"I did…"

Long story short, we were back to normal. My babies were as exuberant, talkative and bubbly as ever. They missed me, but had had great fun with my neighbors and the Cullen and Whitlock boys. I needn`t have worried. It won`t stop me in the future, but I am thrilled that Rachel and Sophie feel as safe and happy with Edward as I do.

"So, what was the emergency at the dental office?" I asked him when the children went to bed.

"Stefan`s father had a heart attack last night and he`s in a serious state, so Stefan decided to fly to Romania for some time. He asked me if I`d be able to take over at least once a week. He has a business partner now who`s practising with him, but he doesn`t want Alistair to be left alone with too many patients, so I`m gonna help out whenever I can."

"I hope his dad gets better soon."

"So do I. It`s hard enough to be so far from your family as it is."

We snuggled into each other on the couch and Edward wanted to know how the party went, so I reported the major events to him, leaving out the squeaky moments of pure girliness. In turn he described what he had been up to with my little swans. I just began telling him that he wouldn`t believe who I had met before he arrived back with the girls, when his pager buzzed and he had to rush to the hospital. _Perfect bloody timing, huh?_

We were both busy again, myself bustling around the children and the office as usual and Edward helping at Stefan`s dental practice. He sneaked into my house and bedroom a few times though ; -) We would have a late glass of wine, check on the girls and bury ourselves under the sheets for some fun.

Knowing how quick, quiet and unpredictable my children could be, I was a little nervous the first two times. Sophie and Rachel only several feet away are so used to feeling comfortable coming to my bedroom in the middle of the night and early in the morning and finding me in the large bed alone. Not that it happens every night, but that`s exactly what makes them unpredictable. Now that we have a rooster in the hen house, we needed to make some adjustments. I talked to Alice who ensured me that there is absolutely nothing wrong with requiring some time for yourself and the children wouldn`t take it personally. If they are asked to knock on the door when Mommy`s bedroom is closed, they will feel like big girls and will be proud of themselves. She also showed me a clock for the children`s bedroom that changes color at night and in the morning, so kids know when it`s time to get up and when they need to stay in bed, even if it`s bright outside. I had tears in my eyes while she was telling me all of that. Some part of me screamed "bad mother" right into my heart and another, a much smaller and weaker one for now, whispered that the new rules would make us all happier; I could be watching Edward while making love to him instead of glancing at the door, and my daughters would learn to recognize other people`s needs, not to mention have a happier mommy!

So I bought the clock, asked Edward to install a little latch on my bedroom door, way up high so only adults could reach it and explained to the children why we were doing this. At first I thought I`d have Edward do it while the girls were at school, but if they were to learn boundaries, then I wanted to be honest with them and show them trust. They were very good at waiting for after dinner to have a cookie even if the whole plate of cookies smiled at them right before the main course, so I shouldn`t have any concerns regarding a simple request of knocking on the door. There was much more to it though. The new rules were implemented because of Edward in my life. I _chose_ him to be in my life, in my house, in my bed. And I wanted my children to accept him too, not only as an occasional visitor, but a man with whom they would need to share their mommy`s time and affections. Mommy`s boobies aren`t only theirs to touch and snuggle to anymore either. Yes, I`m a type of person who needs to talk themselves through everything.

One Saturday night I introduced the twins to the clock and explained that when the blue moon is shown on its face, it`s still time to stay in bed and when it turns into the yellow sun, they can get up. I wasn't sure it was going to work, but Alice swore by it and I bravely decided that the woman in me was worth the try. We played with the clock and I set it for eight thirty in the morning. _God, please, help us learn._

They stayed in! I couldn`t believe it! I woke up before eight and waited anxiously for the door to burst open any minute. Edward stirred beside me and eventually we chatted and waited together. My own clock read 8.32 am when I heard quiet rustling and shy shuffling of small feet outside my bedroom door. Edward and I exchanged happy smiles. Then came a knock.

"Mommy, I`m here!" Sophie`s voice announced. Edward chuckled. _Is she cute or what?_

I got up and opened the door.

"Well, good morning, sweetie! How are you today?" I said. Sophie glanced at me and her eyes reached my bed.

"Edward!" she shouted and almost shoved me out of the way running towards him.

"Hey, pretty girl! How are you?" he asked as she clutched his t-shirt and scrambled up beside him, "Did you say good morning to Mommy at all?"

My daughter turned to where I was still standing by the door, pretty stunned. _Mommy who?_

"Good morning, Mommy," she added embarrassed.

"Hello, Sophie," I came over and stretched to peck her on the nose. She laughed and sank into Edward.

I was going to see if Rachel was awake, but she must have heard us and in no time she was flying through the hallway as fast as her tiny feel allowed her.

Again, the instant she noticed Edward I was air. And I couldn`t have been happier to be `invisible`! Seeing a man at my table is one thing, but seeing him in my bed is something quite different. Children are no fools, they know that something is going on, even though they can`t put a name on said "something".

"You look pretty, Mommy," Rachel complimented my new, feminine night dress. _No stretched tee and sweatpants, huh?_

"Thank you, love."

She reached out to examine the white cotton, the silky elements and the lace flowers on it. After a minute she touched my face. I don't know what she thought in that moment, but the look in her eyes was endearing. It was a look of a little girl seeing a woman in her Mommy and waking something sweet in herself. To her, just like to every little girl in the world, her Mommy was a princess. It doesn`t matter if I wear sweatpants and a Mickey Mouse tee to bed. Seeing me in a nightie though was very unusual and caused her green jewels open wide. I stole a glance at Sophie. She had the same look of admiration on her sweet face.

It dawned on me that my daughters were making new connections in their minds. I would very likely run out of words trying to explain it to them what it feels like to love and be loved by a beautiful, caring man. There they saw me, one of the thin frilly straps slipping off my shoulder and down my arm, and my peaks protruding through the thin fabric. I could say it was because of the chilliness of the winter morning, but I chose to think that they stood out for the glee and attention of the man on the pillow next to mine. His eyes darted to me to drink the view every few seconds. Such a small thing made me feel like I was on top of the world.

"Did you sleep in Mommy`s bed?" Sophie asked Edward a minute later.

"Yes, I did," he answered while massaging her tiny foot. She looked like she was in heaven.

"Why?"

_Here we go._

"Because Mommy and I wanted to hug at night time, baby."

"Oh," she responded quickly, "Why?"

_Not getting away with it easily._

"Because when people love each other, they want to spend a lot of time together. And they like to hug and kiss before they fall asleep." _Gosh, was he doing well!_

Both Sophie and Rachel looked at me for confirmation. I smiled and nodded. It seemed enough for now.

They are still at the stage when they link events with circumstances and people, but are unable to express them verbally, so we got away pretty easily. Edward and I discussed it earlier and agreed that we want the girls to feel safe and secure in our new reality and we would be as clear and informative as possible.

A few hours later as I helped Rachel sit up on the toilet seat she asked me why Edward was "putting things" on the doors to the main bathroom and Mommy`s bedroom.

"Edward is installing latches, baby," I said squatting beside her and watching her dangling feet.

"Why?"

"So we have privacy. Do you know what privacy is, Rachel?"

"No," she shook her head and her light brown/copperish locks swayed around her plump face.

"I think you do. You know when sometimes you want to be alone and do things on your own? Or when you have a surprise and you don`t want anybody to know about it? It means that you want to keep something _private_, only to yourself."

"Oh," she frowned, trying really hard to follow me. _Hmm… How else do I put it?_

"OK, when you want to do wee wee, like right now, you don`t mind Mommy being here, do you? But when you want to do a poo poo, you always ask Mommy to go outside and then you tell me when you`re finished, so I can help you wipe your bum, isn`t that right?"

"I don`t like when you`re here when I do poo poo," she confirmed.

_YES! She got it, I`m a genius! Took a seriously `basic` subject though ;-)_

"You don`t like me here, because this is your private time, you want to be alone then."

A nod and an understanding blink of the eyes.

"Everybody needs to be alone sometimes and we need to respect it. You need it and Sophie needs it and Mommy and Edward and Grandma Renèe and Grandpa Phil when they come to see us…"

"And _Gampa_ Charlie!"

"That`s right! So, kind, polite people respect other people`s privacy and I know that you and Sophie are polite girls and have lovely manners. You always ask if you can take or use something first and you are very good knocking on the door before coming into a room and I am very, very proud of you. We trust each other and we respect each other in our house, don`t we? So the latches are just in case we forget that somebody is busy doing something. Or if we have a guest and we forget to ask if we can enter their room."

"Or a big silly monkey comes in oo, aa, oo, aa and makes a big mess!"

_Oh, imagination! She understood though, great._

"Can I help Edward, Mommy?" she asked while washing hands.

"I`m sure he`ll agree. Let`s go and talk to him."

I was pretty smug that things had gone so well and without embarrassing questions. Rachel usually simply believes me and moves on… However, I forgot that my _other_ daughter likes to dig that tad bit deeper.

"Are you going to live with us?" she looked Edward in the eyes.

"No, Sophie, I live in my own house."

"Your house has an _evlator_," she reminded him kindly.

"Yes, there is an elevator in the building," he answered.

Both she and her sister love pressing the buttons in the elevator, no wonder that thing stood out for her.

"Does Mommy give you kisses?" Came out of nowhere.

"Yes, she does."

"Why?"

"I guess because she loves me," he said.

"Mommy loves _me_, too?"

"Certainly, sweetheart! Your Mommy loves you and Rachel most in the world. You are her two little angels."

"OK," she giggled sweetly and was on her way to play.

I winked at him. There will be many more of those conversations as we go but for now, thanks to the girls` age and stage, this is enough. They don`t mind anyone in my life as long as they keep high position in my heart. _Easy._

It actually became interesting to watch as days went by. Whenever Edward didn't stay overnight, the girls asked about him and demanded an elaborate explanation of the reasons for his absence, with his `minding sick people in the _hopistal_`being about the only one accepted without a fuss. His tiredness or late dinner with his parents didn't win him brownie points. Funnily enough, both my daughters gave me extra hugs and kisses on those nights `from Edward`. He in turn developed a routine where if he couldn`t come over, he called us to say goodnight, and exchanging a few giggles and lines over the phone with my young ones was as important as it was with me. It was also equally _expected_ by all three of us girls.

One night though it was Rose who called just before Edward, saying that Alice, she and I had to meet for a girls` night out. Since a night in is the new `night out`, we decided to meet up in my house. My tots were over the moon being a part of it. We cooked together, played, made jokes and Rose showed my daughters how to make jam. She squashed and mashed some raspberries and blueberries in a bowl, then asked the children to add a bit of strawberry jelly and a pinch of sugar and mixed it all up. I gave them plain rice cakes, on which Rose spread some cream cheese and put the freshly made jam on top. Delish! Rachel and Sophie`s eyes grew wider and wider and they were so proud of themselves in the end, that Alice and I squeaked at the cuteness. I loved watching Rose with my duckies; she was so kind and caring, but her strong voice left no doubts that she was to be listened to. I saw her with a little girl of her own, a girl who would be loved and cherished to the moon and back, but who would also never compromise her integrity for some unworthy guy; her mother wouldn`t allow it. I was hoping that girl or a boy were going to gather and learn from Rose`s wisdom soon, for their own good.

No sooner than Sophie and Rachel going to sleep, Rose reached for the bottle that she brought earlier and asked for three wine glasses. We were having sparkling juice of course, for the sake of Alice`s baby.

"OK, _now _I can tell you! I have some great news!" she announced and waved the bottle in front of us, "We`re gonna celebrate!"

"Great news?" Alice sang, "No wonder you`ve been so chirpy all evening! Spill, sister!"

"Well, there are two parts of it," Rose announced pouring the bubbly liquid into the glasses, "First is that Emmett and I are officially in the adoption program!"

"Yes!" Alice and I cheered, "Wonderful, congratulations!"

"Thank you. We `shopped` around so to speak, looking for the right system and learning what adoption was all about. We chose to go with the national program and we have met our social worker! She`s coming to see us next week again, you know to get to know us, talk about our lifestyle, our expectations and such. They`ll be also checking for any criminal records."

"Uhm, " I murmured, "And then chats with your family and friends? Employers? Employees?"

"Yes. I don`t know how this new business and house will go down in this regard, I mean we left our old life in Fairbanks, along with our social network… Not many people here know us yet."

"It`ll be fine, Rose, "Alice placated her, "You have moved to Seattle to be closer to your relatives, that`ll work in your favor. People move all over the world with their children and nobody questions the stability of their families."

"We`ve been told the same thing and I understand that, but in an ideal world I would love to be more settled first…"

"Of course, but fundamentally," Alice continued, "if you are a good person, then you are good no matter where you live."

"I know. I think I`m just nervous and anxious."

"That`s normal," I added, "I have never observed the adoptive process from this close, but I heard that the social workers tell the adoptive parents to be just normal and natural. They don`t look for some _ideal_ people. A child needs someone who loves and accepts them and takes care of their needs."

"That`s all true, but you know yourselves, when you want something so badly, you question everything about yourself and your life," Rose sighed with a little smile, "It`s almost like `oh my god, this girl cheated in some exams in high school and I was friends with her in kindergarten. Can this disqualify me?` I know it`s ridiculous, but I have weird dreams and thoughts like that and Emmett is the same. He has moments when he completely freaks out about the timing for the new restaurant and house. `We should have done it a year earlier or later`… it`s mad."

"That`s because you care," Alice said, "What matters is that you are in the program and Bella and I gonna be Aunties soon! I know it, I have a feeling!" she nodded with certainty. I have learned not to question Alice`s `feeling` since she had predicted my relationship with Edward. I myself have no doubts that Rose and Emmett will be parents in a matter of months either, so we drank to that and made a pact to remain positive and supportive.

"Speaking of the new house girls, you`re not gonna believe it…" Rosalie`s blue eyes sparkled.

"You`ve found one?!" I asked.

"Yes, but it isn`t just _any _house, it`s _the_ house," she stressed.

"What do you mean?" that was Alice.

"You both know how Emmett and I met. I used to go to this restaurant where he worked. I was a newbie in Fairbanks at the time, and as you both know, after very traumatic events… So I was starting anew. I felt safe and as if nothing could touch me. I began dreaming again, of a home, a family of my own with someone beautiful and special… `Fake it till you make it` became my favorite game. I sold properties and saw lots of nice places. One day I drafted my own dream house. I knew there was a fat chance it would ever come true, so I kept it light and just had fun, thinking how lovely and spacious it would be, adding mad things like a large white piano in the massive living room. I actually called it `party room`. It was huge, painted in unpractical white and I had an aquarium that took up half of the wall, though I had no idea how I would clean such a big tank," she laughed, "Then there were the bedrooms, the kitchen, the bathrooms… In the restaurant where Emmett worked I found peace. I liked just to go there and sit down for a cup of tea and spend hours looking at interior design magazines and scribbling. One day Emmett asked me what I was drawing and I told him that it was my dream house. He sat beside me for a while and looked at it. He _really _looked at it, asked me specific questions, and even told me about this large, family table in his parents` dining room in Seattle, made of raw, untreated wood and passed on from his grandparents. He thought there was so much soul in that table, you know it heard so many conversations, it fed so many people, watched a couple of generations of the family."

"He`s right, that table is older than Mom and Dad. To most it may be just a large, imperfect piece of wood, with lots of tiny indentations and candle burns and mug circles, but to this family it`s priceless. It`s alive," Alice admitted and I nodded in agreement.

"So, imagine how I felt when two days ago my husband snatched me after work, told me to close my eyes and drove me to… my dream house."

"?"

"It`s a few streets away from Edward`s place. Nobody`s actually lived there. The previous owners built it and when it was almost ready to be furnished they found out that they inherited a nice house near their relatives and the rest of the family all the way in New York, so they decided to finish the house here and sell it before moving back home. Emmett talked to them last week and they were taken aback when learning that we were coming home, too."

"Fantastic! Tell us about the house then!" I was super excited.

"Oh, you`ll have to see it, it`s just gorgeous. I never would have thought that a dream like that could come true. Four large bedrooms, three bathrooms, a very decent sized family kitchen, backyard… ah, it`s amazing," Rose sighed with glee, "It`s all bare and painted in white, but this is exactly what I wanted, so we could decorate it and furnish it the way we fancied. Emmett told me that the moment he went in it struck him how much it looked like my drawings. I knew what he meant, because when I entered the dining and the living area, I felt like I had stepped into my own images of the place. We`re putting our offer tomorrow."

"Oh my god," Alice gasped and patted her tummy, "The moment this little missy is out of me, I`m gonna toast to your house with real booze!"

"For now though, let`s raise the glasses to the house, I mean _THE_ house, " I chuckled and stressed, " and to the little soul who is going to live there with Mommy Rose and Daddy Emmett."

"Amen!" cheered Alice.

"We`re all gonna help with the furniture and stuff!" I offered.

"Thank you! We told Esme and Carlisle of course and Esme is rubbing her hands, she can`t wait to help me choose curtains and carpets and all that," Rosalie laughed, "She really is a gem and having worked as an interior designer for decades she knows the suppliers, the stores, moving companies, you name it. That house is gonna be ready in no time."

"Exciting!" squeaked Alice.

"OK, great. So, we have a house and I reckon we`ll hear baby news in the next say four, five months and the restaurant…" And then it happened… "I know!" I shouted out all of a sudden.

"Know what?" Rose looked startled.

"I think I`ve just had an epiphany," I giggled, "The name for your restaurant. Emmett wanted it to represent something rare and spectacular and sexy…"

"I can`t remember the _sexy _part, but you have a one track mind now, so go ahead," both she and Alice laughed at me.

I narrowed my eyes at her and smirked under my nose, "Eclipse."

"Eclipse?"

"Aha," I nodded slowly.

Alice`s eyes twinkled in approval.

Rose pools rested on my face as if they were examining it, but she wasn`t really looking at me. She mouthed the word to herself a few times.

"I love it," she stated simply and then looked up at me, "It`s a brilliant idea, Bella. And you`re right, it _is_ sexy. Wow, I can already see the neon, something illuminating, in silver and red…" she drifted off to her vision.

"So much brainstorming and nobody `s come up with this one before!" Alice laughed.

Rose joined her, "I know! I`ll tell Emmett tonight, he`s gonna love it. But… speaking of sexy, Miss Bella Swan, how are things between you and my hot brother-in-law going?"

"Just look at her! You _really_ have to ask?" Alice joked.

"No, but I want to hear it from her, I _need _to hear it. I`m with a Cullen boy myself and quite frankly it`s mind blowing; I just want to make sure that Bella is as satisfied," Rose`s eyes sparkled and all three of us laughed.

I cleared my throat ostentatiously for effect, "Well, Edward is…" I rolled my eyes, "God, he`s amazing! He pretty much has me… meowing and begging for more every time," I finished covering my face with both hands from embarrassment.

"AW!" Rose squeaked.

"YES! That`s my brother!" Alice clapped her hands, "I knew it!"

Rosalie and I gave her a stunned look.

"What?" she said, "I`m a Cullen too!"

"Lucky Jasper!" I cheered before another burst of laughter from us all.

"Oh, believe me girls, it`s _me _who`s lucky," she winked.

_God, we sound like teens and it feels soooooo good!_

"I think I`m even a better mother lately, to be honest," I admitted, "I seem to have more energy, I`m more positive and don`t take things too seriously. I`m happier."

Alice was already nodding her head feverishly before I finished the sentence, "Of course you are! `If momma ain`t happy, nobody ain`t happy`, it`s true! You feel loved, cherished, appreciated, sure it makes you feel good about yourself and it transfers onto all areas of your life."

"Thank you, Little Miss Life Coach," I giggled, "Seriously, Alice, thank you. I was with someone for a while when the girls were about one year old, so two years ago already. It was short and we both knew we wouldn`t stay together. The girls have never seen me with a man before, they have never seen me in love before. It`s so new to them and I can see them watching, observing, learning."

"That`s so sweet," Rose smiled at me warmly, "You all deserve it Bella, you, the girls and Edward. He`s different too, you know? He`s happy, like he has a purpose now and it`s to keep you, Sophie and Rachel content."

"Wow," I sighed. I noticed changes in myself obviously and it tickled my ego to hear that Edward was a different man, too.

"By the way, if you wanted to go out or stay in for that matter, just the two of you, I`m offering you my babysitting services. I love Chichi and Fifi, so don`t be shy, just give me a call and I`ll either come here or take them for a few hours or the night."

"Rose, you are a star, thank you. But I know you`re busy and –"

"No `buts`! I wanna do it! When I have my baby I`m gonna need a lot of help and I`ll be counting on both of you girls, so let me do it for you now, please. Alice knows she can ring me any time as well. I picked Hugo up from school once last week and we had a great time together playing with Chompy and waiting for Jasper to come home from work."

"OK. I have to say it`s pretty tempting…"

Alice cackled beside me.

I adore my children and both Edward and I love being around them, but some time alone would be wonderful…

No longer than two days later I called Rose and asked if she could watch my little rascals one night. She said yes without a second thought. Edward gave me a panty dropping look when I told him and the children bounced up and down at the prospect of having Auntie Rosie, as they called her, staying with them all night. If they were happy, then so was I. My kids are proving stronger and more independent than I have perceived them and I am finding it rather empowering. As they say, the best way to keep your children close to you is to let them go. I am learning to let them go at times, have their own time, their own experiences, have them learn to fend for themselves while they`re in good, caring hands.

On his night off Edward picked me up from home. Sophie and Rachel made sad faces upon learning that he was taking me out instead of coming in and staying with us. I had told them what was going to happen, but just like typical almost-three-year-olds my girls needed to mull things over a couple of times. When I talked about it with Rose, she said that it was no wonder, Edward and I are their favorite people in the world and they would want to be a part of whatever we did. As if it was Mommy and _Daddy_ going out without them. _Daddy… _My god, what wouldn`t I have given for Edward to be my children`s father…

Rose had a few tricks up her sleeves for the evening to keep the little minds occupied so they wouldn`t miss me too much. As Edward and I were leaving, `meals on wheels` arrived; it was Emmett with some delicious gnocchi in one hand and I believe a container of home made vanilla and chocolate ice cream in the other. For a moment there I considered staying at home myself, hehe.

I fetched a black velvet bag along with some other things and we got in the car.

"What`s in the bag?" Edward was interested.

"My red stilettos for later," I winked.

"OK," he said resigned and clicked his tongue, "I had a walk and a meal planned, but I guess we`ll be heading for my place then!"

"No way Jose! We`ll go for a walk and eat first. Patience, Dr. Cullen," I ordered, however weakly.

"You want me to walk around with a hard-on for a few hours?"

I burst out laughing.

"Well, thanks for the support," he smiled under his nose for effect and off we went.

The Volvo zoomed through town. As planned, we went for a walk around the area where Edward lives first. We exchanged some pleasantries with one of his neighbors in the grocery shop where we stopped for some breakfast ingredients, and then we made our way to a local restaurant for a late bite to eat. I loved every minute of that time, doing the simplest things like buying milk together or saying hello to a neighbor. Edward `s accidental brushes, his tender looks and smiles kept increasing my anticipation of the night, but also planted the seeds of hope for moments like those to become our regular routine. I couldn`t help it, the images of us shopping together or stealing a few hours for ourselves on ongoing basis began flashing through my mind. They seemed to feed on one another and multiplying as minutes and hours passed by. As much as I just wanted to enjoy the hours we had, my heart fluttered at the tiniest thought of the monster word _future_. I wanted Edward to be my future. I wanted the lovely intimacy of walking down the street, holding hands and dangling a plastic bag filled with a carton of milk, some yoghurt and fruit.

It was nearly half past ten when we finally got to Edward`s apartment. We put the groceries away and as Edward was closing the fridge, I ran a hand along his shoulder. He turned to me and interlinked his fingers with mine, reaching down with his lips for a kiss. I obliged gladly.

"Make love to me, honey," I breathed into his ear. He shivered.

"With pleasure," he chuckled, "Will you give me one minute though, please?"

"Sure," I whispered, "I need to go wash my hands anyway."

He pecked me on the nose and went to his bedroom, while I grabbed my velvet bag containing the shoes that Edward had insisted that I wore again on our first night together. I washed hands and brushed my hair and teeth. My heart was already picking up the pace.

"Would you like a glass of wine?" He asked when we met in the hallway.

"No, thank you."

"Come with me then…" he stretched out his arm and I gave him my hand.

I knew the lights in the bedroom were turned off, but it looked quite bright in there and when Edward pushed the door open, I understood why. I also understood why he had asked me to give him a moment. Candles were lit everywhere I looked. A quick scan told me there were more or less fifty of them, in holders of all shapes and sizes. I was about to tell Edward how marvellous they looked when my eyes fell on a large sheepskin rug and a pile of soft blankets no more than ten feet away from an enormous, full length mirror…

_Oh, sweet baby Jesus._

I swallowed thickly and the blood thumped in my veins. My imagination went wild in an instant. Edward must have sensed it, because standing behind me he engaged himself kissing my hair and then swiping it away to reach the back of my neck. His breath and slight grazes caused a shiver and a whimper to escape my lungs. He murmured something content against my skin.

"My god, you prepared all of this?" I asked incredulously.

"Uhm," he admitted between the kisses he was showering my shoulders with.

"It`s exquisite."

"Thank you, but the only exquisite thing here is you, my love."

"Edward…"

"Tell me how you feel about the mirror."

"I like it," I started, afraid I was going to lose my heart, it was hammering so hard, "You actually want to…?"

He held me from behind and I leaned into him. Then he whispered softly directly into my right ear, "Yes, Bella, I want to take you in front of this mirror. You keep complimenting others and saying that they are beautiful, but you feel unsure about your own appeal. You don`t see yourself clearly and I wanna show you how beautiful you are. It doesn`t matter whether you`re asleep, concentrating while reading or laughing at a joke; you are the most amazing girl to me at any time. I thought you would like to catch a glimpse of what I see when I look at you. You`re stunning and breathtaking when we`re making love, when you let go, when you let your body do what it`s meant to do, the way you move underneath or above me… the way you sway with me… I love it. I love you."

With these words he moved his lips to my neck and shoulders again. I took a step forward and he followed me holding onto my hand. We stood in front of that mirror and I took a glance at our reflection. The flickering lights of the candles cast lovely shadows on us and I felt a tiny speck of satisfaction; I looked good beside Edward, _we_ looked good together, _very _good.

The layers of clothes kept falling beside the rug and then, as we got more enthusiastic, we sent them flying around the room. Impatience doesn`t go hand in hand with tidiness! To Edward`s doubtless joy and pleasure I found myself stealing looks at our images in the mirror. I had seen Edward naked before, but seeing myself naked with him at the same time, well it was a first and a juicy one at that!

He laid me on the sheepskin and lowered his hot and bothered body onto mine. Then his lips and tongue performed their explorations on my chest and stomach. I turned my head to my left and watched in the mirror. There, underneath Edward was a blushing woman, arching her back to meet his wandering lips and hands. I saw her long brown hair sprayed on the soft rug, one of her hands running through the fibers of the thick fabric and slowly travelling up to slide along the side and back of the man above her. Interesting how I could feel smooth skin under my palm as the girl on the other side glided her own, caressing her handsome lover…

The man in the mirror muttered sweet nothings to the girl`s breasts. I watched them boldly exposed, the nipples crying out to him, luring him in as he circled around them with his wet tongue and calling them his `sweet perkies`, before taking them into his mouth along with the pink area around them, one by one. The girl whimpered and tugged at the man`s hair and he growled in response. She smiled to herself for a second. He was so tender, so sensual, but there were moments when he looked and sounded almost dangerous. The way his eyes hooded or how he seemed to be drifting into his own world while pleasuring her left no doubt that he was powerful. And god, how she loved it!

The man continued down the girl`s stomach and hips and his hands followed suit. He had long, slender fingers which skilfully pressed, rubbed or feather-touched his lady`s yearning flesh. He knew how to bring her joy, as some of his moves seemed intentional and calculated. It was as if he awaited his prize in the form of a soundly moan or a soft sigh from the girl. Once he received it, he tried new territories and new strategies, exercising his trademark actions and seeking yet unrehearsed likings. I felt Edward pressing hard against my thigh and then poking my knee when he shifted his body to trail tiny kisses on my C-section scar. And then lower…

My head fell limply to my left side again and my eyes latched greedily on the erotic show unfolding a few feet from me. The woman roamed her hands around her man`s body, mirroring his touches, as if confirming that what he was doing felt good. He only allowed her limited access to his shoulders and back, denying any contact with the front of his body lower than his chest. The short glimpses of his stiff shaft that I caught every now and then assured me that he wanted her badly and was as thirsty for her as she was for him. I was glad for her. She did that to him, her mere closeness made his body react in this primal way, as if she sang to him.

When he hitched her leg behind his hip and their bodies joined, I felt fire inside me. My soul broke into a song and I moved to the music. The girl in the mirror smiled and before she closed her eyes I thought she was lovely… so alive, awaken. There was nothing in the world, just she and her man. I couldn`t watch them anymore. The tingling was spreading throughout each part of my body, reaching the tips of my fingers and toes. I turned to Edward and saw his face two inches from mine. He smiled and we connected our lips in a soaring kiss.

"I love you," he whispered and a single tear slipped out of my eye.

After a couple of minutes he sat up. I cried out at the loss of his skin on mine, but he sat down on his legs and took me by the hand. His erection stood up glistening and whispering to me. I kneeled beside Edward and made a motion to sit on him face to face, but he gently shook his head "no" and held my waist with both hands.

"Turn round, sweetheart, otherwise you won`t see."

Something in me fired up again and my heart threatened to burst through my ribcage, but I wanted nothing more that to be connected with Edward again and I would do whatever it took to get there. I _needed_ him to make me feel alive.

Edward was sitting with his bum resting on his heels in front of the mirror. He manoeuvred me to stand in front of him, but facing the glass as well. He kissed my bum which levelled with his face. I thanked Heavens he was holding me because I nearly lost my balance. I dared to look up at the couple opposite me. The girl placed her feet on either side of the boy and he slowly brought her down and eased her onto himself. At the same time she bent her legs and stretched her calves next to his and out of the squatting position.

I didn`t see her reaction to all of this because my world twirled around me in that moment. For the next few seconds I thought that in the deepest privacy, when absolutely nobody would be able to see me, I would replay that vision of her swallowing his shaft in her slickness and them both becoming one, in my mind over and over and over again. I felt Edward`s arms engulfing me and holding me still and close to him. I realized I must have spun around together with my surroundings.

He put his head on my shoulder.

"Open your eyes, Bella," he let out quietly.

I did.

The girl`s long messy waves fell around her neck and covered the man`s arm, which was resting on her breasts. I watched him cup one `perky`. The girl and I gasped simultaneously. The man`s other arm held her hips.

"Bella," Edward whispered to me and the girl in the mirror smiled.

Her lover`s fingers ventured down to the wet, pink place of their linking. He circled her nub and I rotated my bottom in response. Behind me, Edward hissed with pleasure.

Then I saw it. The girl boldly lifted her hips up a couple inches to sit back down a second later. Her face burst in an ecstatic grimace, her mouth let out a loud groan and her eyes struggled to open again. Her man`s face told the same story, he was in the same place.

"Can you see now, Bella?" he said to her, "Do you understand what I see when I look at you?"

The girl looked happy. She was fulfilled. _He_ was fulfilling her.

"They are beautiful together," I whispered looking at the couple opposite me.

"_We_ are beautiful together. It`s _us_, baby."

I leaned into him.

"I see it," I breathed heavily and on the brink of tears again.

"Do you see why I will never get enough of you, why I would spend eternity with you by my side?"

"Yes."

"I love you so much, sweetheart."

"I love you too."

He slipped his head off my shoulder and pressed his mouth to the back of my neck, letting me cry for a while.

I looked at my wet face in the mirror. It was stained and flushed, but I saw it. I saw a woman worthy of affection, I saw a girl born to be treated in the best way, touched and loved tenderly by a wonderful man, a man she had stopped dreaming of a long time ago. I was beautiful.

Edward resumed his motions at the point of our joining and my hips soaked up the delicious friction. I covered his hand to implement the ideal pressure and dropped my other hand onto Edward`s on my waist. I moved up and down, languidly at first, and then slowly picked up the pace that suited us both, seeking completion and release at that stage.

It felt shameful to look in the mirror now, but I challenged my inner shyness and didn't regret it for a fleeting moment. Our performance was flawless, impeccable, pure.

We comfortably vocalized our enjoyment and all too soon I clenched claiming Edward`s manhood and his bliss. My convulsing sent him over the edge and as he exploded inside me I leaned forward and slammed my hands on the floor in front as we both rocked to the pulsing rhythm.

Edward held on to me the whole time and when we descended from our high he rubbed my sides caringly.

We sat on the rug and he held me close. My conscious was coming back and the mixed scent of our arousal, sweat and fifty candles burning with fever hit my nostrils.

"God, I didn`t realize it was so stuffy in here," I chuckled later.

"I know," Edward agreed with me.

Well, we didn`t really have much else to say! ; -)

"How many candles do we have here?"

"Fifty six."

"Oh my. I`ve never met a man who owned fifty six candle holders."

"I don`t, Bella. Only four belong to me, the rest came from my mom, Alice and from Rose`s storage."

"Are you telling me you borrowed all these from your _family_ nonetheless, just for tonight to do… _this_?" _Gee, how do I call it? _

"That`s right."

"Please tell me the girls didn`t ask what you needed the holders for!"

"Do you think they needed to ask? I`d say it was quite obvious," he said smugly, "I mean, what else would I want fifty six candles for? I`m no scientist."

"Great, they all know what I have just done."

"They are happy for us, baby. They love us both."

Instantly, another tear trickled down my cheek.

I lifted my head up to look at Edward.

"Is something bothering you?" he asked touching my face.

"No," I said silently.

"Then why the tears?"

"I don`t want this bubble to burst, Edward."

"Me neither."

"I`m just wondering where… sorry, I shouldn`t, men don`t like that."

"Bella, look at me. What do men _not_ like?"

I worked up the courage and sighed deeply, "Talking about the future."

"I`m not scared of the future, Bella."

I couldn`t stop another cascade flowing out of my eyes. _Way to go after mind blowing sex, Swan! This will surely grant you more nights like this!_

"Bella, talk to me."

"I`m just wondering where this is going, you know? You`re saying that you family loves us both and I…"

"It will go wherever _we_ want it to go, sweetheart. And being the total fool for you that I am, I can assure you I`ll follow you to the farthest ends of this world."

"I may be thirty two years old, but I`m acting like a silly seventeen-year-old girl," I sniffled and tried to smile.

"_My_ girl."

"Yours," I nodded repeatedly.

"And _my_ girl is not silly."

We kissed some more and decided to air the room, as it was getting hard to breathe with all the candles. I decided to go for a quick shower while Edward blew out the wax lights. A few minutes later I came back to the room wrapped only in a large towel, I`d forgotten my pajamas! Edward chuckled at my confession and offered me one of his shirts. Then I read a text message from Rose. After nodding at Edward that everything was fine, I lay in bed while he went to the bathroom.

Rose wrote that all was great, Emmett stayed for dinner and then went to a late meeting just after the kids went to sleep. They were both free until one in the afternoon the next day and were taking Rachel and Sophie out for brunch, so Edward and I could take our time in the morning. I shared the news with him minutes later and we fell asleep holding each other closely, with a lazy morning in prospect…

When that morning came and a new day began, so did our frolicking. I felt playful and adventurous. I surprised myself with allowing Edward take his shirt off me without a second thought as we rolled in the middle and across the bed. As I ended up on top of him, both of us naked, laughing and kissing, a sudden image flashed through my mind.

In the corner of my eye I noticed my red stilettos still in the velvet bag, scattered on the floor. I never put them on last night and now an idea popped into my head…

"Wait here, I have a surprise for you," I smirked and gave him a chaste kiss.

Then with a heart thumping like mad I stood up and walked to the shoes. Edward lay spread across the bed and he turned over onto his stomach to see where I was going.

I put on the stilettos, stepped back and stood in front of him stark naked, with only blood red `fuck me` high heels on. If I had any last minute doubts about what I was going to do, the look on Edward`s face turned them into dust in a matter of seconds. He gave out such a growl and there was something so primal in his eyes that I preceded purely on instinct.

His face levelled with my upper thighs. He looked up at my bare pussy, then slowly up to the `perkies` and eventually he looked into my eyes. I had never felt so powerful, so sensual and so safe in such a vulnerable position at the same time.

"You are so beautiful, sweetheart, " he whispered, " and these shoes… I`m gonna come on the spot."

"A a!" I scolded him, "There`s more!"

Edward laughed playfully.

"Turn over. Lie on your back, please."

He obliged.

I kneeled down in front of the bed by Edward`s head, and wove my fingers in his hair. Then I continued with his forehead, cheeks and nose. I lifted my knees off the floor. Edward reached his arms up and over to hold my face as I gave him an upside down, Spiderman kiss on the lips.

"Mmmm, that`s quite something…" he commented and I smiled inwardly.

I stretched my body a little further, placed one hand on the sheets beside Edward`s shoulder and let the other roam around his chest while we continued kissing.

My confidence grew along with his clear enjoyment and excitement. Oh yes, I could see his excitement standing strong and hard like a pole, waiting for me…

I stretched some more and placed soft kisses on Edward`s shoulders, then I moved to his neck and continued with his chest. He played with my hair falling on his face softly at first, but as it teased his nipples, he tugged and pulled me closer to his flushed skin.

"Bella," he breathed against my own neck, "I can only imagine what you`re planning. God, baby…"

I let out a wicked witch cackle and chose to give him a clue what I had in mind. Having lifted my head for him to see me better, I licked my hand and reached across his torso for his weeping manhood. Edward moaned loudly and after watching me grip and rub him for a moment his head fell limply back on the bed. I caught his eyes. They gave me the quickest, hazy glance and shut gleefully. He was getting lost in his little happy world and his hips were pushing into my hand…

"Shhh… take it easy, love," I soothed him.

"Uhm," he agreed and opened his eyes.

My breasts swayed above him, looking for attention. Thank god, these two never have to ask twice; the moment they`re on display, Edward`s on them. Wanting him to stay put I lowered my chest and `fed` him one breast at a time. He loved it. I controlled the pressure and tormented him for a while. I let him lick and nibble on a nipple although he could barely touch it, and I laughed when he attempted to raise his head to get more. His arms got pinned down of course! As I pinned them to the bed though, my breasts inevitably sank as well… much to Edward`s joy! He took as much into his mouth as he could and in turn it was I who voiced their unexpected, intense pleasure at a pretty high volume!

My own consciousness was wandering away, so very slowly, I crawled up on the bed above him. I let my hands glide on the sheets along on either side of his waist, then abs and hips, bringing the rest of my body with me. Edward`s breath hitched as I stopped with my head above his shaft and my slick, wet, pink parts open just inches from his sight.

"Bella…"

It was the last comprehensive word I heard. I took my private ecstasy provider in my mouth for the first time… I could feel Edward`s hips craving to jump up and plunge in, but he managed to stop himself. I could barely think, but I was grateful and aware that he wanted to make sure that I felt safe and comfortable. It was _our_ game.

Half-consciously I lowered my hips a couple of inches and Edward took the hint. I felt his hands sliding along my thighs, then gripping them and bringing my hips down to his impatient lips…

If I thought that Little Eddie was beautiful, then the feel of him in my mouth was… indescribable. Not only the hardness and smoothness of him, but the fact that I was connected with Edward in such an intimate way. It was a vulnerable part of him, the residence of his fragile male ego… It was _him_, my man, my Edward, my love…

I was focusing on him, but at the same time my own body was acting on impulse. I heard Edward moaning and murmuring against my folds. I was getting determined to reach my own peak and found myself swinging and circling gently over Edward`s face, guiding him to my overreceptive, overlubricated spots, pleading with his tongue, lips and teeth… for just right amount of suction… for that perfect level of pressure…

As I was directing my attention to my own physical encounters, inevitably I slowed my ministrations on Edward. He also took his time enjoying me and I smiled inside at our flawless synchronization yet again. If I hastened, he mirrored my pace. When I eased, Edward unhurried as well. We danced together until at last I broke into a new, orgasmic rhythm. Edward held me steady as the heat vibrated through my whole being and only a while later I relentlessly persuaded his body to join me in the hazy cloud, swallowing. Every. Last. Drop.

I took a moment to compose myself, while Edward faintly kissed the backs of my thighs. The realization of what had just happened began dawning on me. I started turning around and Edward grabbed me and crashed me to his chest.

He buried his nose in my hair and inhaled deeply. I lifted my head and looked into his dazzling green eyes. They were blazing with emotion. He opened his mouth as if to say something, thinking what would express him best. My head was also swimming with words, but I was unable to speak… Then he closed the space between us with the most tender kiss.

"I love you, sweetie. I love you," he whispered, making my budding self-doubt vanish into thin air.

"I love you back."

No other words were necessary. I kicked off the red shoes and snuggled into Edward.


	19. Chapter 19

**Over to Edward now :- ) This and next chapter were originally going to be just one, but boy is this man chatty!**

**Chapter 19 EPOV**

**TUTLE OR TOTOS?**

It was the beginning of March and Bella and I were taking the girls to Forks. Or rather Bella and the girls were taking _me_ to Forks. Bella`s friends Jacob and Leah were celebrating their wedding anniversary and invited a few people for a barbecue. Now that the Swan girls lived in the same state the Blacks insisted we all came to see them. It tickled me nicely that they considered me a part of the gang.

One afternoon I popped over to spend some time with my beautiful ladies before going to work. Rachel and Sophie had been on a school trip to the farm and came back home earlier than usually. Bella picked them up herself and from what I knew she was packing for Forks; we were travelling the next day.

She`d told me about this mystery guy who I would meet soon. It was apparently someone from the past and Bella seemed quite excited having him around. If it were a woman, I would have been nicely curious, but I wasn`t sure about Bella`s bounciness in connection with some guy.

I parked the car and heard a knock coming from a window on the second floor. I looked up and saw Bella waving at me. The front door opened in a matter of seconds. It flashed through my mind that it wouldn`t have been humanly impossible to walk or even run downstairs so fast, unless my gorgeous self confessed clumsy girl had superpowers. It`s not that I doubted Bella`s capabilities for a second, obviously…

"Hey there!" A male voice broke through my conscious.

A guy around my age stood in the doorway. It kind of threw me back; I`d never seen a man in that door.

"Hi," I said. My eyes narrowed for some stupid reason.

"Hi, honey!" I heard Bella and a second later I saw my girl beside that guy. She was smiling.

I planted a quick one on her lips.

"Gentlemen, let me… Edward, this is Riley Biers; Riley, this is Edward Cullen."

"Edward!" I heard Sophie running to me. I picked her up, "I saw horsies and moo-moos and piggies and bunnies today!"

I promised to listen to her story in a few minutes, after I got acquainted with the man who was watching the two of us quite entranced now.

He and I shook hands and Bella proceeded to explain that she and Riley know each other from Forks High. He`s one year older than her and with Bella doing advanced biology program, they were lab partners. Riley went on to study the CTI and is now an air traffic controller. He seemed decent and I got good vibes from him.

Sophie was impatient to share the happenings of her exciting day and Bella remembered a few more things that she wanted to pack, so that was all I learned about Riley for the time being. Bella asked him if he`d still keep an eye on Rachel who`d fallen asleep after the school trip. He called her `Izzie` and assured her of his keeping guard with a wink and a broad smile. It was a bit too sweet for my taste. Or maybe it was just me.

I had never seen another guy around Bella. Her married friend Jacob and my buddy Gary Hobson don`t count, they`re both crazy about their ladies. Riley Biers - I don`t know. Bella had been anxious for us two to meet over the past few days without saying too much, so what the heck, I might like the guy, for her. She said she would join us in the living room in a few minutes so Riley sat in an arm chair and Sophie resumed putting together her jigsaw on the coffee table, having urged me to sit on the couch close to her. I felt Riley observing us as if assessing me or something. I scolded myself for putting thoughts in his head, he was probably simply curious, but something about him made me easy and uneasy at the same time. I would have to work on that `feeling`. I`d give him a chance. Sophie felt comfortable around him and that would be enough for me. I`d use the children`s instincts as a compass.

"Bella tells me you`re a surgeon?" He asked breaking the silence.

"Indeed. Maxillofacial."

"Wow, serious stuff. Are you originally from Seattle?"

"Yeah. I worked in Phoenix for some time, but I`ve been back here for the last… what," I thought aloud, "three and a half years."

"Really? I used to live in Phoenix too, left two years ago for Spain. You didn`t meet Bella in Arizona though?"

"No, we met here last August, end of August," I recounted.

_He`s kind of OK._

"Right," he said watching me help Sophie place a jigsaw piece in its proper spot.

"What did _you_ do in Spain? Work?"

"That too, but more than anything it was the heart," he smiled and patted his chest with a hand, "I met a Spanish girl in Phoenix and two years ago we moved to Europe together."

_Interesting. Have they split and that`s why he`s back now?_

"So what brings you back to this side of the pond?"

"Well, after college I never planned to live anywhere else except Seattle, but couldn`t get a job here back then and ended up in Phoenix. I wasn`t thrilled, but I knew a couple of people there and of course Bella lived there too; that was a huge plus. I grew to like it eventually. Then three years ago I met Maria, who taught Spanish in one of the high schools. We got together pretty quickly, but her sister had been diagnosed with breast cancer at the time and Maria decided against renewing her visa; she wanted to stay close to home. I didn`t know what to do with myself after she left and so I followed her. We stayed together and thankfully Maria`s sister got better; her cancer was stage one and not as bad as the family and the doctors feared. She resumed her life, got married and had a healthy baby a year ago. Maria missed her life here and so did I, especially when our own little one was born last September. She applied for a visa again and I got a job offer from Seattle; after all these years someone still remembered my applications! I knew that Bella lived here now too and Maria and I took it as a sign. Being Bella`s neighbor came as a shock to say the least, though a really cool `shock`. Carmen is only six months old so I wanted to have the house ready when I bring the girls over, we didn`t want to live out of suitcases with a baby. So I`ve been around for about two months now and started the job last month. My ladies are coming next week. I thought I would get the family settled and then I`d contact Bella to invite her and the girls over for a housewarming party as a surprise. Imagine what surprise we both got when I saw Bella three houses down two weeks ago!"

_Wow! That`s a funny coincidence. So he has two ladies in his life, a girlfriend and a daughter… Yeah, I like him._

"Boys," Bella was walking past the living room, "I won`t be long now, I`m sorry for being an awful host."

"Izzie, don`t worry, no need for hosting, we`re all practically a family here," he winked at her. _Again._

_A family, huh?_

"Besides, Sophie is keeping an eye on us, aren`t you, princess?"

Sophie raised her head and looked at Riley, puzzled. I rubbed her shoulder.

"Good, "Bella smiled, "Poor Chichi`s still asleep, she was wrecked."

"Chichi?" Riley`s eyes fell on me as Bella had already left the room.

"It`s Sophie`s nickname for Rachel," I explained.

"Oh, OK. Speaking of which, I better go and check on her," he put the glass down on the counter, "I`m her father after all," he let out a short chuckle.

"Don`t keep your little one waiting then," I said quickly before registering that something strange and out of sorts was happening in that moment…

"I`ll be back in a minute," he said leaving me alone and… something began to sink in…

"_I`m her father" he`d said… WHAT?!_

My heart was thumping, I could feel my veins straining and suddenly the thoughts in my mind were racing faster than I could process them.

_So Riley is the girls` father. Yeah, makes sense, himself and Bella go way back. He moved to Phoenix after college… Did he follow her? Were they a couple in Forks High? Did they get back together in Phoenix? Were they still in love back then? They dated, Bella fell pregnant, their relationship didn`t work out and she was left alone with the children… Is that what happened? Did he just… dump her? Did she want to be left? So, why is he back now? He lives next door, for Christ`s sake! For some reason Bella doesn`t want him anymore, so I should be happy, right? And it`s good that the girls have their father around even though they don`t even call him "Dad". Do they even know? Is Riley Bella`s high school sweetheart? Was he her first kisser? Was he her first… lover? Did he_ _touch her… did he…? Did he break her heart? OK, slow down… Riley is Sophie and Rachel`s father. Bella is a grown up woman, she made her choices and has taken responsibility for them. Whatever happened between her and Riley, it`s over now. They look genuinely happy in one another`s company and don`t seem to be holding any grudges. Why should I then? The children have their mother`s name and not his, so it must have been that for some reason he either didn`t want anything to do with them when they were born or had no say in the matter. I should be happy that he and Bella worked things out for the sake of the kids. She`s with me now, right? She wants to be with me, not him! The children have their father close, Bella has me and I have my three girls, everyone wins?! _

_So why do I feel like the children have been snatched away from me? It should be me checking on Rachel right now! I want to be the one taking care of her and her sister! I want to be the one they wrap their arms around! I want to tuck them up in bed, I want to hold them when they`re sick or sad! I am here to protect them, to wipe their tears and share their joys. I would have loved for Sophie and Rachel to be my offspring, but they didn`t use any biological strings to tie me to them. It was a much stronger force that connected us. _

I let out a deep sigh and came out of my haze_. _Sophie was still just a foot away from me, busy coloring in a picture of Peppa Pig. I smiled to myself weakly; who would have thought just a few months ago that I would be able to recognize kids` cartoon characters. While spending time with Hugo has taught me a good bit about the young, in no way did it make me an expert. But it wasn`t my nephew who taught me the superiority of pink and purple to other colors or the importance of matching hair clips in one`s hair. Could I live without this knowledge? Like hell I could, but would it have been so much fun? I know, I`m a grown man and a total puss.

Slightly distressed wails of Rachel reached my ears in the living room, "I want Mommy!"

Riley`s words were muffled. I couldn`t make out what he was saying, but he sounded calm and gentle. I could feel Rachel was just groggy and it would take her a minute to fully wake up.

"Is Rachel up, did I hear it well?" Bella called to me from the laundry room.

"Yes. Riley`s with her," I called back from the sofa.

There was some shuffling going on upstairs and Riley`s voice reached me again. He was walking down the steps and talking to `_his girl`._

"And you`re going to see your granddad in Forks tomorrow?"

"_Gampa _Charlie," her tired words came out with a yawn.

"Grandpa Charlie, sure," he agreed, "So Mommy is packing your clothes and toys for your trip now…" he continued walking into the living room.

"I`ll be out in a second, Chichi!" Bella sang bustling around in the kitchen just as Riley entered the room with Rachel in his arms. She looked comfortable enough in his embrace in her own environment, but was cautious nevertheless and watched him closely.

"Hi sweetheart," I welcomed her softly from the couch.

Rachel`s head snapped away from Riley`s face. She scanned her sister at the coffee table and then noticed me…

Without another thought she turned in Riley`s arms and stretched out her arms to me with her lips twisted in a horse shoe shape.

"There, "I said with a stupid grin, "Come here, baby girl," I stood up and took her from Riley.

He gave her away without a fuss.

_Yeah, you`ve done that before, buddy! _

Rachel clang to me like she had eight legs and I held her tightly.

_Jealous much, Daddy?!_

For some reason he didn`t really look jealous. He watched us curiously, but I can`t say he looked like he desperately wanted to swap places.

I buried my nose in the child`s silky hair.

"Did you have a nice snooze, baby?" I murmured to her, focusing fully on the subtle vibrations of her tiny body in my arms.

"Yep," she responded into my neck.

"Hi baby," Bella was suddenly beside us, smiling at Rachel and running a hand through her hair, "Did you have a nice snooze?"

Riley laughed.

Bella turned to him, "What?"

"Nothing; Edward asked Rachel exactly the same question five seconds earlier. I find it funny how you two are tuned in."

I winked at Bella. He was right, we were, we _are_ tuned in. I`ve seen it on numerous occasions; if I thought it was time to add basil to tomato sauce, Bella was already handing it to me; if she was taking a shower, I was checking if the children were asleep before I took their mommy into my arms a few minutes later and if it was Friday, I would buy milk on the way to see my ladies, so we could all have pink milk for a treat. We are a team and there`s no room here especially for someone who _abandoned_ the girls nonetheless!

Bella sat beside me on the couch.

"Oh dear, I`m wrecked," she chuckled and gave Rachel, who was still snuggled into me a peck on the cheek, "Just the toothbrushes tomorrow and we`re ready to go."

"You lucky things, I envy you for that trip," Riley smiled and shook his head, "I can`t wait to get settled and go to Forks."

"Oh, but you will, it`s a matter of weeks now rather than years like it used to be!" Bella comforted him, "Tell me, does Maria have a job lined up?"

"She has a few interviews in the next couple of weeks, but she won`t start before September. I`m not sure about it all to be honest… We planned for Carmen to start crèche when she turns one which is in September; it would suit Maria perfectly to go back to work. But now we can`t even imagine leaving Carmen with some strangers for many hours a day."

"One year old is tiny," Bella cooed.

"I know. So we`ll see what happens. Maria wants to work but maybe part time would be better for her."

"How about language schools or giving private lessons?" I suggested, "The hours would be more flexible and maybe you could find a minder to stay with the baby in your house?"

"We`ve thought about it, yeah," he said, "The options are there, it`s just up to Maria to choose what`ll make her happy. I can easily support the three of us, so it`s not about money. You`ll meet Maria, she`s a born educator, a really great teacher. She has an incredible way with students and she can teach Spanish even to a completely `unteachable` student, read: Riley Biers," he joked pointing at himself, "I`m terrible at languages but with her I lived in Spain for two years and had very little trouble communicating in the language."

_Wow, he really loves that girl. Pity he didn`t see the gem that Bella is. Or maybe it`s not so bad, she has somebody who appreciates her now._

"Aw, stop that, Riley, you`re fishing for compliments!" Bella accused him with a laugh.

"Me?! Fishing for compliments?!" He looked around pretending confusion, "Izzie dear…"

"Don`t you `Izzie` me, you know your French is amazing! Better tell Edward what we used to do years ago in Phoenix!" She let out a chortle and Riley reciprocated.

"Oh yeah," he started, "Bella and I would go around town and speak French to each other and have people staring at us."

"And chatting us up!" Bella pointed at Riley.

"And having French tourists stop us and ask what part of France we were from?" He stuck his finger back in Bella`s direction.

"No, no, no, they didn`t ask _me_, it was about _you_!"

"Nope, you know it was _you_, Izzie," and he turned to me, "Her French was so good she even fooled native speakers."

"Yeah, whatever," Bella threw at him embarrassed.

"I believe Riley," I said looking into her beautiful brown eyes, "You know my opinion on your language skills."

"Thank you, sweetheart, "She smiled and winked, "We were both practising for our exams; Riley for work and I for the translator`s exams."

"Is it mandatory to speak another language in air traffic navigation?" I asked him.

"No, but it`s a bonus. Just like in any other profession, if you fill the requirements you`re fine, but if the employers see you do something extra it works to your advantage and can take you to the new heights. I can be exclusively chosen to navigate flights from France, Belgium or Canada. It means trust, it`s prestige, it`s money."

"Yeah, I get you," I said letting Rachel slip off of my knees and join her sister in coloring.

"I remember this guy… In his teens he got hooked up on the Cyrillic alphabet, later on he learned Russian. The moment he`d passed his exams he got basically snatched away to DC to navigate exclusively from Russia, Ukraine, Bulgaria and such. He used to be just a dorky guy from a town smaller than our dear Forks and now he`s a celebrity requested by pilots."

"Mighty."

"Yeah," Riley exhaled, "If you`re a pilot on a plane for ten hours you wanna trust that guy on the land, you know?"

"True."

"It`s the same with doctors, let`s be honest. If you go that extra mile, you become the chosen one."

I laughed, "You`re dead right. Why did _you_ learn French and not Russian then?"

"Because I`m too blo…," he scanned the children and Bella, "sorry, I`m just way too lazy to learn Cyrillic."

My pager buzzed.

"Sorry guys, gotta go. Post - malocclusion infection, not good."

I turned to Bella and kissed her on the cheek.

_You`re mine. Remember, you`re mine._

"I`ll call you later, OK?"

"OK," she smiled, with Riley merely still feet away from us, "Drive carefully."

"Always."

"Rachel, Sophie, Edward has to go to work now –"

"No!" That was Rachel.

"Yes, baby, I`m afraid so," I answered, meeting her green eyes. _Damn it, she even looks more like me than him!_

"Do you have to give medicine to a _patint_?" Sophie asked in her business-like voice.

"Yes, darling, I do. The _patient`s_ mouth is very sore." I answered as seriously as she asked.

"OK," she concluded and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before returning to Peppa.

Riley laughed.

I love how there`s no bull with these girls. They want information and you better provide accurately without babying them or else there will be withdrawal of their teeny little hands form mine or the tickle of peach smelling hair on my chin which I have grown accustomed to, and quite frankly would have found unbearable to live without anymore.

I felt sick leaving my heart in the house with that perplexing man. He seemed decent, too decent for a guy who`d left his two young daughters alone with their mom.

_He said he left for Spain two years ago, which would mean that he was in Phoenix until Sophie and Rachel turned one… But he was already with this new girl Maria. No doubt he`s a fool for her, the way he speaks of her is unmistakable. And it also looks like Bella likes that girl. Why would she tell me that the girls were wanted from the start, but their father was never present in their lives if indeed Riley was there? Jesus Christ, did he donate sperm for Bella or something? Is it possible that she asked him as a friend? Her relationship with that Martin guy that Alice told me about didn`t work out and Bella decided to raise a child alone? But why would a beautiful, educated, young woman want to do that when she could have guys lining up to be with her? God, I`m going mental here. Stupid, ridiculous thoughts. _

_As a doctor I`ve met people and heard stories that would sound as unbelievable as… I don`t know, existence of green swans, but because I never saw one doesn`t mean they aren`t here, does it? But Riley and Bella? After what I`ve heard and seen I have a hard time believing they were ever a couple. Why would he call himself the girls` father then? It shouldn`t be that unbelievable, especially to me… _

I tried to find peace, but whatever I did and however I chose to think I couldn`t get rid of the fear that the one thing that I regretted the most in my life came back to slap me on the face.

The next day I finished my consultations after late lunch and as the clock stroke three I took a cab to Bella`s place from the hospital. We were taking her car.

"Hello ladies, are you ready for an adventure?" I said looking at the Swan girls in the door.

"Yes, yes! We`re going to see _Gampa_ Charlie!" Sophie sang.

"Well, let`s hit the road then!"

A second later I laughed seeing what the little ones were carrying in their hands.

"What`s so funny?" Bella frowned at my amusement.

"Nothing. The girls` coats."

"What about the girls` coats? I just bought them a few days ago, it`s too warm for winter coats anymore… Edward, why are you laughing?"

"Sorry. I spent my school and college years wearing pea coats. It was widely _commented_ on for lack of a better word, but I liked it."

"Oh, you were a nerdy type!" She giggled, "I love nerdy type. But my children aren`t nerds," she pointed at me like a teacher at a naughty student. I`d hold that thought for later… ;- )

"No, no… well I don`t know, maybe I _was_ a nerd, but it was actually my trademark. I remember my classmates telling me that if they ever saw young kids in pea coats in the future, they would know they were mine. Stupid high school thing."

Something flashed through Bella`s eyes. I couldn`t put my finger on what it was, but it felt good. Like as if a part of her… wished that her children…

_Fuck, whatever_.

We strapped Sophie and Rachel in their seats and before getting in myself I strolled over to her and kissed her longingly on the lips. For some stupid crazy reason I had to make sure she was still mine. Like she didn`t taste or smell of anyone else…

"Mmmm…" she murmured, "I missed that."

_God, save me, the heat radiating from her!_

"Me too."

"Edward, are you alright? Is everything OK?"

"I`m fine. Why?"

"Nothing, just…"

_Please, please, please, don`t ask me about Riley…_

"You`re not nervous about Forks, are you? Because there`s no need, honey."

"A bit, yes. I`ll be staying in your father`s house, chief of police nonetheless, I think it would be unwise _not _to be nervous."

"Then I`m glad it`s only that. I was worried there was something else."

I looked into her eyes.

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, sweetheart. Let`s go now, alright?"

"OK," she whispered silently and scanned my face once more before opening the car door and slipping into the passenger seat.

It wasn`t Riley Biers driving to Forks with the girls, it was me. And it wouldn`t be him or anyone else holding this stunning woman in bed tonight, it was gonna be me.

"Ladies, how about a game," I asked after we finished a concert of kids` songs. Bella had a CD with her daughters` favorites in the drive and we decided to go with it. _Gee, I have a lot to learn!_

"How about we stop somewhere and have a bite first?" Bella suggested.

We went in to a tavern on a local country road.

"Look at these two cuties," I heard people remark, stealing glances at Rachel and Sophie. I smiled proudly.

There was a group of three college girls sitting at the table next to us and while they weren`t quiet enough to keep their comments to themselves only, I was vain enough to listen.

"That baby daddy over there is freaking hot," one of them said and I knew it was about me.

"Mommy is pretty enough, but the kids definitely have their daddy`s genes," one of her companions noted.

"You`re right, a man like him could make me a mommy over and over again…"

The children were busy looking at their books and Bella and I were finishing coffee.

"Ahem," I said catching her attention. She was sitting across from me.

"Hmm?" She opened her eyes widely.

I leaned over and placed my elbows on the table, smiling at her. She did the same. Then, as if nothing around us existed I leaned forward and kissed Bella`s lips, slowly, lazily, hinting a promise…

"Holy shit," reached me from one of the college women, "I think I`ve just come."

"Shall we go now?" I asked Bella.

"I think so, we don`t wanna be late for the ferry."

"Sweeties," I directed the words to the twins, "It`s time to go, are you ready?"

Bella took Rachel by the hand and I scooped Sophie.

"Ladies," I bowed at the women as I walked past their table.

"Fuck me, he`s gorgeous!" caught me as I opened the door.

Who would have thought that a bunch of young horny women would help my ego! They didn`t know Riley, they thought _I_ was Sophie and Rachel`s father and it kind of calmed me down. In fact all the people who smiled at us thought the twins were mine. And to hear that I was fuckable? Yeah, I`m a guy, I like to hear it even if there`s only one woman who I want to experience it. ;- )

"Alright, let`s play that game," I announced with my spirits up a few levels, "I`ll tell you a few things about an animal and you`ll have to guess what animal it is, OK?"

I hoped the game that Hugo loved wasn`t too advanced for the much younger tots, but we could try. They nodded with anticipation, so I might earn some brownie points again. If not with the girls, then with their mommy for trying and that could mean lots and lots of sweet things between the sheets… Not that I live for sex… Well, I didn`t before I met Bella. This woman is like my personal brand of heroine and there is no way I would even get enough of her… Her warmth, her smoothness, her slickness…

_Damn it, the game!_

"So… hmmm… let me think… I`m a large animal, an enormous one..."

Nothing.

"And I`m grey…"

Nothing.

"And I live in Africa…"

Silence.

"And I think I have a long, long trunk and I splash water with it –"

"_Eflent!"_ Sophie shouted from the back, startling us all.

"Yes! _Elephant!_"

God, I love correcting their funny sounding words!

"Another one, ready?"

Three feverish nods.

"I look like an ordinary cat, but I`m a lot bigger and you can`t keep me in your house…"

"Hmmm," came from Bella.

"I have really sharp teeth…"

Silence, but two little minds working overtime.

"And I roar very loudly…"

"Tiger!" Sophie shouted again.

"No, I`m not finished yet…" I said checking how she took it.

"Oh."

"I don`t have stripes… I have spots instead…" _Too hard, Cullen, way too hard for them!_

"Cheetah!" It was Rachel this time.

"Well, what do you know; you are absolutely right, I`m a cheetah! How did you know that?"

"We did it at circle time," Chichi informed me.

_What the hell is circle time?_

"It`s a time when they sit in circle in school and talk about a weekly theme," Bella rushed to explain without me asking aloud..

"To two-and-a-half-year-olds?"

"Yep. That`s Montessori for you."

"Wow! So, OK smarty pants," I laughed at the little ones in the back of the car, "Tell me one more thing, cheetah is one cat with spots, but there`s another one –"

"Leopard," Sophie overtook me.

"Excuse me?"

"Leopard has spots too."

"You see Edward," Bella helped out, "cheetahs have black rings around their eyes and they look like they`re crying whereas leopards don`t. Is that right, Sophie?"

"Yes."

Bella winked at me, "They can tell you the difference between crocodiles and alligators and… wait, Rachel how do you what`s a turtle and what`s a tortoise?"

"_Tutles_ have legs for swimming and _totoses_ have legs for walking."

_Oh my god, _"Rachel, Sophie, you are the smartest girls I have ever met!" I admitted honestly.

_Tutles _and _totoses_ I laughed to myself. _There`s no fucking way in hell I`m ever gonna give these girls away! Asshole baby daddy can be the best air traffic controller in the world, the best French speaker or even have Bella smiling at him, but he has nothing, NOTHING that would make me accept him as these children`s dad and forgive his absence from their lives._

Bella watched me carefully the whole journey. After asking me countless times how I was she gave up exhausted. I was exhausted myself. My thoughts were wearing me out. I thought it didn`t matter, I promised myself it would`t, but it did. I could live with an unclear, cloudy image of some unspecified man being Bella`s children`s biological father. But now that he was real and he was moving into a house practically next to Bella`s and with his new family on top of that… I wanted to know that the twins` father was some stranger I would never meet, so I wouldn`t have to imagine him and Bella together. I wanted to know that some John Doe was `dead` to Bella.

_I will try and tolerate Riley, for the good of the girls, but how on Earth do you live with it inside? It was so much easier when he was just a distant thought. _

As we got on the boat and the children dozed off across the seats I could feel Bella tensing up. She`d witnessed my drifting off into my own bubble too many a time.

"I`m OK, sweetheart, just tired," I tried to placate her as we sat beside each other, watching the dark water out the window and the other passengers walking by and chatting, some people napping in their seats.

I don`t think she believed me. She leaned over and put her head against my arm. Her strawberry shampoo hit my nostrils. Her hand rested on my chest and abdomen and ghosted over my zipper. I had a feeling she wanted to have sex with me for some reason, on that boat. Only the children sleeping a foot away and other travellers stopped her from reaching for more. She wanted reconnection as if she felt that some ties had loosened. Either sex or she would burst out in tears any minute.

I covered her hand with mine and moved it away from my jeans, "Have a rest, Bella."

"Alright. I`m going to drive for the rest of the way," she stated.

"No, I`ll do it."

"I`ll do it, you`re tired," she stood her ground.

"We`ll talk about it later," I finished the conversation.

Eventually, she closed her eyes and I kept watch, stuck between my trust in Bella and my own pettiness.

"Love, it`s time," I rubbed her arm too soon.

"Scoot, I`m driving now," she said when were on land again.

"No, Bella, you`re tired and I`m gonna bring you to Forks."

"I know these roads better, Edward."

"Nice try. Go take the passenger seat, please, it`s late and you`re getting cold."

"Edward, god help me, something is bothering you and it`s driving me insane here, OK?"

"So that`s another reason why _I_ should drive. I don`t want you behind the wheel when you`re upset."

"I`m upset because _you`re_ upset!"

"Then I`ll have time to calm down before we arrive in Forks!"

"So _you _can drive while upset but _I_ can`t?!"

"Exactly! Now get in the car, Bella!"

She started for the passenger seat, "Thanks for telling me you don`t want me, by the way!"

"What?!"

"You just told me you didn`t want me."

"I said I didn`t want you _behind the wheel_!"

"Whatever!" She grumbled.

"Bella…"

"Stupid shiny Volvo owner," she grumbled quietly to herself as she sat in the car beside me and slammed the door.

"I`m gonna pretend I didn`t hear the last bit."

"Thanks and apologies. I guess I`m nervous myself."

"It`s gonna be OK, baby, I promise," I looked at her.

"I hope so, Edward. I love you."

"I love you too."

I started the engine. On the way to Forks, Bella didn`t sleep. Instead we listened to "Claire de Lune" on one of her CDs and she told me stories about the places we were passing and what her life in Forks was like when she suddenly found herself plunked from hot, sunny Arizona into this small, green, rainy town at the tender age of seventeen. We even managed to laugh when she told me a story about the day of her arrival many years ago. Her father gifted her with an old red pick up Chevy. She loved that piece of squeaky metal with all her might until even Jacob Black couldn`t help anymore and the thing fell apart.

The girls woke up as we drove into town. They half recognized the roads leading to their grandfather`s house as Bella told them to watch out for landmarks on the way.

It was already dark, but I had a feeling the town looked that sleepy most of the time; one person here, two people there, observing newcomers and visitors. Even in the darkness I could see the mossy greens and smell the dampness in the air.

We pulled over at number one eight four. It was a small, modest house with a police cruiser parked outside.

Bella`s father came out to welcome us and Rachel and Sophie rushed to him, one faster than the other. He shook hands with me and that was when I _really _started worrying about how the visit would go. This was chief Swan`s territory. While I could squash Riley in my mind for claiming the tiniest part of my girls, Charlie Swan could slam any of _my _hopes for `ownership` like an annoying mosquito.

I took our bags out of the trunk.

"You two can stay in my bedroom," he said to Bella and I, "and I`ll take Bella`s old room. I put two mattresses down for the children, I thought Bella would like them close."

"Oh no, sir, I can take the couch and the girls will sleep in the bed with Bella."

"Nonsense," he stated, "you`re my guest, I won`t have you sleeping on the couch, Edward."

"Well, um… thank you, sir, you`re very kind, but really I have no problem with a couch. I`m used to sleeping on gurneys in the hospital, a couch is a luxury."

"I appreciate it, but I get up quite early and come into the kitchen. I don`t wanna wake you up walking around you or listening to the radio."

"Sir, your house, your rules. Thank you."

_Jesus, Cullen, the man is practically putting you in bed with his daughter! Stop being a dick and be happy!_

I tried to persuade Bella to take the girls into bed with her and I would sleep on one of the mattresses, but said mattresses turned out to be child sized; besides the moment Rachel and Sophie saw them, the look in their eyes said it all, _they _were taking the mattresses, _not_ me. Unless I wanted to get hurt or excluded from the Cute and Sweet Club, which I was a sucker for, so… yes, I was going to sleep with Bella.

The kids were excited but collapsed pretty soon. Bella, chief Swan and I had late dinner together. Bella also called La Push and told Jacob that we`d arrived safely.

I liked how she moved around the house. The place was so familiar to her; she knew it like the back of her hand. And the way she and her dad talked. Chief Swan is a man of a few words, but they are effective. I could see that he had no shit attitude, but looked very softly and lovingly at his daughter and granddaughters. He had a spark in his eyes when they were around and I knew that spark from myself.

It was well past midnight when I lay in bed waiting for Bella. The children slept right beside our bed, their hair sticking in every direction possible, their toes peeking out from under the covers, their breathing calm and deep.

I heard the bathroom door close and my girl stood in the doorway.

"Hi there, you still up?" she spoke quietly, manoeuvring between the mattresses to get to the bed. She was wearing yet another new night shirt or dress or whatever they call it and the frills of the fabric danced around her mid-thighs as she walked.

"You`re a vision, Bella."

She smiled and slipped under the covers and over to me.

"I`m glad you`re feeling better, Edward. See, there was no reason to be nervous. My dad really likes you."

"Well, he threw me into bed with you, his only daughter, so I must have a certain appeal," I joked smugly.

She giggled silently, "Chief Swan has been dazzled, who would have thought?"

"Yeah," I chuckled and pulled her closer, "I like it here, Bella."

"Do you? I hated it at first. Don`t get me wrong, it was my decision to come here live with my dad and I loved _him_, but the town… It grows on you though and it has the best people living in it."

"I have no doubt, love. I haven`t seen much of Forks, but I like it, because it`s about you, you know? You lived here, it has your traces. Your school is here, your friends, memories, special places, maybe your special someone?"

"My first kisser still lives in the area, that`s right," she said.

"Your first kisser, huh?" I hooded my eyes.

"Uhm," she teased.

I couldn`t stop myself. The feel of her warm body wrapped up in mine and her gorgeous face an inch away… I captured her luscious lips in a deep, hard kiss. We were both aware that two young innocent beings rested next to us, but we needed to link again.

"You know," she whispered slipping her tongue out of my mouth, "This is the bed where I was most probably made…"

"Blessed be the bed," I slowed down my advances, "and its cockblocking ability."

Both Bella and I stifled our laughter. I held her closely and she put her head on my chest.

"Do you think your parents were happy here?"

"For some time yes. But my dad is an only child and his parents were both getting sick and weak when he and my mom got married. Then Renee pressed Charlie to move out of Forks and Charlie didn`t have a heart to leave his parents alone. Back then few people talked about it and took it seriously, but now my mom says that she had all the symptoms of post partum depression. She and my dad were very young and although they had feelings for each other, it just didn`t work out. My dad wanted to remain loyal and do the right thing by his parents and his young wife was caught in her own pain. She thought that running away would solve the problems. She did overcome the depression, but in the process she took from him the most important thing to him, you know? That one, very, very thing you live for."

"You."

"No, not me. _Herself_."

"And he never stopped…"

"No. I mean, look at this house, it`s like time never moved since I was a baby. It`s clean and a few years back Dad even bought a new couch, some new stuff for the kitchen and the bathroom, but every single night he sleeps in this bed."

"Do you think your mom ever missed him?"

"Honestly? I think she does. It may be only my imagination, but she always asks me about him. Being married to another man herself she looked hurt when I told her that Dad was dating Sue. She`s not a kid, she didn`t kick and cry, but I saw it in her face. When Dad was sick in hospital a few years back, she called him every day for about a week, before he stopped picking up the phone. He couldn`t have her anyway, so there was no point in hearing her voice…"

"This is heartbreaking, Bella."

"I know. There`s a wonderful, loving man behind that badge."

"I`ve noticed. He seems genuinely happy with you here."

"Thank you. And believe me Edward, he likes you."

I stayed up listening to Bella`s breathing evening until she fell into a deep slumber.

There, in the dark room where no one could see me I could admit to myself that I understood Charlie Swan like no other. His daughter was my everything and God knows I would spend the rest of my life living in the past if she ever left me.

The next morning I was woken up by a hand on my face. A small hand. I opened one eye.

"Hi Edward," Rachel cheered.

"Good morning, Rachel, where`s Mommy?"

"She`s in the kitchen. There`s a _disasta_ in the kitchen."

"A disaster? Should we go and check then?" I got worried and was already out of bed.

"Bella?" I called walking downstairs.

"Hi everyone!" She called back.

"Rachel told me there was a disaster in the kitchen and I got worried. Is someone hurt?" I inquired after saying hello to Bella`s dad. He laughed.

"Oh, that cheeky monkey!" he chuckled along with Bella.

"I don't understand."

"See, I`m no use in the kitchen and Rachel must have overheard Bella saying that she better take care of breakfast herself before _I _produced another culinary mishap."

"Oh, right, OK!" I shook my head.

"I`m not _that_ bad by the way!"

"No dad, you never burnt water for coffee, I have to hand it to you!" Bella teased him and we all fell into an easy, friendly spring breakfast.

As Jacob Black`s father was Chief Swan`s best buddy and Leah`s mother is of course Charlie`s lady friend, Chief Swan was also going to La Push for the celebrations. Sophie and Rachel hopped up and down when he offered them the drive in his cruiser and Bella and I followed him in her Mercedes. Bella drove ;- )

The reservation was stunning, the surrounding forests peaceful and filled with history. It almost felt like an enchanted place where animals and the heavy with greenness trees and bushes whispered their legends to any willing ear.

There were over thirty of us altogether. The weather was cool and crispy but we braved a walk along the beach. Bella asked Jacob to tell me the story about `the cold ones`. According to the legend the Quileute tribe descended from real wolves and their enemies were `the cold ones`, vampires. The vampires` proximity would to this day activate a shape shifting gene in some of the tribal members and they would turn into werewolves to protect their land and people. It was fascinating.

We went back to fire up the barbecue. People went in and out of the house; kids ran around, there was plenty of food and drinks. Bella was thriving, she was home, but so was I; like I`d known this land and the people for too many years to count…

As evening approached, some people said their goodbyes and eventually there was only a small group of us left. Jacob stood beside me and handed me a can. We both watched Bella and Sophie. The two girls were squatting opposite each other and watched some small forms of life in the grass. Bella picked up an insect and Sophie opened her little mouth in awe, listening to her mom, their hair touching.

"Picture perfect, huh?" Jacob said to me, taking a swing of beer.

"Yeah, they`re cute together."

"Every time I see her, Sophie looks more and more like her Mom," he squinted his eyes gazing at the figures several feet from us, "Mini Bella she is."

"True, " I said. _And Rachel looks like her father. Isn`t it just great how the genes split equally? _I smirked to myself and took a long gulp of the golden liquid, wishing for it to quench this pain and pang in my chest again.

"So, I hear Riley is back in town? What are the chances, huh? I couldn`t believe when Bella told me!" Jacob shook his head.

"Yeah. I met him yesterday."

"Did you? He`s a good guy and very great with Bella. He was one of us here in Forks. He loves that beach like you did today. Loves the freedom."

_Oh, that he does, maybe even a little too much._

"Maybe that`s why he`s an air traffic controller."

"Yeah. As a kid he`d go green in the face and throw up after two minutes on a swing. It got a lot better, but not enough to allow him to become a pilot. But he`s happy working on land and now he says he wouldn`t even want to fly if he could. And he and Bella, they have a little history, I`m sure you know though."

"Not really, we didn`t have time to talk about Riley yet."

"Maybe you should. I mean, they are very close or at least used to be very close. But not like you think. I don`t think it`s my place to talk about it."

"I`ll wait for Bella to be ready."

"One thing for sure, in Riley`s presence you will see a different side of Bella. They bring that goofy side out in each other."

I decided to chance it, "Yeah, it`ll be good for the girls too; you know, it`s important to have your father around," I smirked.

Jacob laughed out loud, "There you go, see, he`s got you already!"

"What do you mean? Who`s got me?"

"Riley. It`s his line."

"What line?"

"I quote `it`s important for the kids to have their father around, even if he`s only your godfather` end of quote."

"_God_father?"

"Yeah, Riley`s Rachel`s godfather. Sorry, thought you knew. No biggie, right?"

"No, sure not."

I felt a pair of small arms around my legs, so dealing with this teeny tiny revelation would have to wait.

"Edward, look, I found a baby snail!" Sophie`s brown eyes locked with mine while Bella`s hand rubbed my arm and what just a second earlier fell apart, now fell back into place.

"A baby snail? I`ve got to see it!"

She wriggled in my arms trying to stay in place and show me the insect at the same time. I looked at her and out of the blue crushed her to my chest. Something was clutching inside me. I needed to get out from the yard.

"Sweetie, I`m sorry, I need to go inside for a minute," I put the excited child on the ground and catching surprised looks from Bella and Jacob I turned around and headed for the house.

"Edward, are you OK?" I heard Bella`s concerned voice behind me.

"I`m fine, there`s something in my eye…"

"Let me help you," she was catching up with me, all worried now.

"Bella, I`m OK, I`ll be out in a moment, promise." _Just please, please, let me deal with this alone._

I practically raced past Leah and locked the bathroom door behind me. The water in the sink was freezing cold and I kept splashing it on my face until I couldn`t feel the stinging and the saltiness of what was coming out of my eyes. Godfather. _He`s her _god_father, not_ father_, damn it! Riley is not Bella`s children`s biological father, there is no grand scheme here! _

I turned around and leaned my back against the sink, gathering my thoughts. Shit, did I feel stupid! It`s easy to tell everybody else to get their facts straight before jumping to conclusions, hard to do it when your own fucking heart and soul are at stake. My initial reaction to Riley had been right, he sent out good vibes. As much as I wanted to hate him, I liked him. He was decent, helpful, friendly, good to Bella; what`s not to like? He didn`t act jealous, he wasn`t in my way. Now I knew why, he simply had no business in getting in my way. We were never a threat to each other in the first place! And the fact that Rachel had light eyes and hair like him was just a coincidence, not a genetic design.

"Edward?", Leah`s gentle voice reached me through the door, along with a soft knock, "I`m sorry to disturb you. Is your eye alright? The first aid kit is on top of the shelf on your left. The little key is on top of the box for safety. If you need anything…"

"Thank you, Leah, "I cleared my throat and tried to sound in control, "I`m fine now, no problem."

I came out to the yard a moment later.

"Are you OK, Edward?" Sophie`s concerned eyes were fixed on me. I smiled and scooped her up at once.

"I`m fine, Sophie, thank you very much." I looked around at the others. Bella, Leah and Jacob all waited for me to say something, "A tiny fly or something. A few splashes of cold water and I`m as good as new." I hugged the child in my arms and sat down.

"Good," I heard from Jacob`s wife, "If you want me to have a look later, I`m here, OK?"

"Thank you, Leah, " I smiled at her and turned to the small angel in my arms, "So, I guess the snail is gone now? I`m sorry I didn`t get to see it, Sophie," I pulled a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Mommy put it on a leaf, I`ll get it now," and with this she scrambled down off my lap.

**Later**

The other guests were gone and the children were sleeping. Bella was chatting with Leah. I came out and sat on a wooden bench in the empty, dark backyard with some lanterns flickering a speck of light here and there.

"How is the eye?" Jacob asked me unexpectedly.

"Fine, thanks," I answered as Jacob sat beside me with a glass of water, both of us staring in the distance.

"How is the heart then?"

"Sorry?" I looked at him briefly.

"What happened earlier… had nothing to do with a foreign object in your eye."

I sighed and cleared my throat.

"You thought Riley was the girls` father," he stated rather than asked.

"It`s Bella`s private matter."

"Of course. And I wouldn`t discuss it even if I knew myself who the baby daddy was."

"You don`t know?"

"I`m ninety nine percent sure, but we all know that one percent of uncertainty can turn the rest upside down and inside out."

"Yeah."

"I can reassure you, I wouldn`t dare implying that Bella doesn`t trust you or something because you don`t know. Look at me, you`d say she and I are close. I was her first kisser. And even _I_ can only guess. Bella is very independent and very fragile at the same time. She wouldn`t do anything that would hurt or ridicule her children or herself."

"She`s amazing."

"That she is," Jacob laughed.

"So, you were her first kisser then?"

"Yeah," he said, "She was the only girl in her class who hadn`t kissed a guy and wanted to get it out of the way and I wanted to sort of practice before Leah, so we just did it. It was a calculated thing, couldn`t be less romantic to be honest, but we both got what we wanted."

"You wanted to practice before Leah?"

"Um…, "he scratched his head while we both chortled, "Leah was three years older than me and I was hopelessly head over heels. I knew she`d had a boyfriend before and I was this inexperienced little puppy. So Bella helped me out."

"Oh god."

"Don`t worry, it was a very awkward touch of the lips, felt like kissing my own sister. We swore we would never do it again."

"OK, you`re forgiven," I said and looked around, "Is Chief Swan gone now?"

"Yeah, he took Bella`s car, so you can put the girls in the cruiser later, he said? Their seats are in there?"

"Oh yeah, right. Good."

"He`s doing something in the morning and called it a night, he didn`t want to mess with the seats taking them out and stuff."

"Is Bella allowed to drive the cruiser?"

"I don`t know, but who`s gonna be against Charlie; he`s the Chief, right?"

"Yep."

"He breaks his own rules sometimes, he`s alright."

"Bella told me about her parents being together and splitting, it`s a sad story."

"Tell me about it, true love never dies. You know that Bella almost never existed? Or she would have possibly been a Newton and not a Swan?"

"No? Wait, _Newton_? I know that name."

"Yeah, Bella works for Newton Publishing. That`s what I`m talking about."

"Do tell."

"You know that Bella`s boss Jack Newton is originally from Forks?"

"I know _now_!"

"As a young girl Bella`s mother Renee lived next door to Jack Newton. Both he and his father are named John, so he goes by Jack now. Jack was two or three years older than Renèe and had a massive crush on her."

"No!"

"Yes!" Jacob exclaimed and I think we both felt like gossiping teenage girls. I was way too interested though to feel bad about it. This was getting better and better!

"So what happened then?"

"Renèe wasn`t interested in him even though he was a cool college student. She wanted Charlie Swan. Fair enough, Jack understood and hooked up with some other girl. Renèe and Charlie married right after finishing school and she fell pregnant merely weeks later. It didn`t work out though… You know this bit, right?"

"They split up when Bella was a baby, yeah, I know."

"Jack`s girlfriend got pregnant at the same time and had a baby boy a month later than Renèe had Bella. Jack and his lady got hitched and the Newtons stayed in Forks while Renèe took Bella to Phoenix. Years later Bella and Jack`s son Mike met in Forks High."

"Wow." I had to shake my head at fate`s joke.

"I know. And, surprise, surprise, Mike fell for Bella, the daughter of his father`s past crush."

"So Renèe and Jack were never together?"

"No. But Jack had a thing for Bella`s mother for years. But that`s not the end; Mike was still a kid when his parents split up too and where did his father go after the divorce?"

"To Phoenix?" It felt like jigsaw pieces were shuffling in my head, trying to fit and complete the picture.

"To Phoenix," Jacob nodded in agreement, "I think both Renèe`s and Jack`s parents were all originally from Phoenix or something like that. Anyway, coincidentally they found themselves in the same place again. Renee was a single mother and Jack was alone, but Bella says there was never anything else going on between the two of them other than friendship. They just knew each other from Forks. Since Bella was the same age as Jack`s son, who was living with his mother in Forks, Jack liked being around Bella and Bella liked him, too. He knew that she loved reading and when she got older he encouraged her to write. She would get the best stuff to read, the newest books and magazines. I can only imagine how Jack felt when Bella went back to Forks to live with her father and met Mike in school."

"That`s a twist, isn`t it?"

"Well, the history repeated itself, Bella rejected Mike. But Jack had been present in Bella`s life all this time and when she decided to study English literature, he was there for her all along. Just after college he snatched her to his publishing house." 

"Unbelievable. Now I understand a few things. I always thought how lucky Bella was with her boss. He seems very understanding and accommodating. She gave me the impression that whenever she needed, she could take time off; even when the girls were tiny she worked from home, she didn`t have to attend meetings. Now she decided to move to Seattle, so, yes, no worries, you have a great job, you`re the boss of the whole section of the publishing house… I know she`s been working very hard to get where she is, but she`s lucky, too."

"She is," Jacob agreed.

"And this Mike, Jack`s son, where is he now?"

"Mike is a cool guy, he was also one of the gang here. He was dating this girl Jessica Stanley on and off, loud, bubbly, gossipy type of girl, she`s a lawyer now. I lost track after some time, but Bella tells me that they`re back on. Mike`s in the same publishing house as his father. He deals with marketing and sales and that kind of stuff. When Bella lived in Phoenix, they saw each other at work every day. There is something about Swan women and Newton guys," Jacob concluded.

"So they were never a couple?"

"Officially not, but I wasn`t in Phoenix, so I can`t tell you for sure. I only know that Bella spent an awful lot of time with Jack and Mike for months before she fell pregnant. She e-mailed and phoned us sometimes and it was all about "things" and "meetings" she had going on with either of them, all very mysterious. And they`re both very protective of her, but that`s probably because of their infatuations with both Bella and Renèe."

"Ah, there you two are!" Bella`s voice startled me and Jacob equally. He pointed at his empty glass and went inside while Bella snaked her arm around my waist and put her head against my arm.

"How are you?" I asked kissing her hair.

"Great. How is your eye? Your face looked puffy earlier on."

"My eyes are fine, thank you. And so is the rest of me now that you`re here."

"Oh, I love mushy mushy," she whispered with a smile and I leaned down to capture her lips with mine, "Do you want to bring your girls back home now?"

"Certainly."

_I want to bring _my_ girls home._


	20. Chapter 20

**Here comes the second part of our trip to Forks. All I can say is beware of little girls! ; -) **

**I do not own TWILIGHT of course, but this story line is mine.**

**Just like with other tv shows mentioned in the previous chapters, any references to "Grey`s Anatomy" or "21 Jump Street" are here for pure entertainment. **

**Chapter 20 EPOV**

**SOPHIE MEANS BUSINESS**

Bella`s eyes moved under the lids and she stirred. I knew she was waking up. I lay still and watched entranced as this beautiful woman slowly opened and closed her eyes again, then turned, lay on her back and then her arms began emerging from under the covers. The duvet slipped off as Bella`s arms stretched out into the air and her chest and back arched up. The buds on her breasts strained hard against the flimsy fabric of her nightie. She made funny faces and murmured and yawned and emitted all sorts of grunts and moans. I couldn`t help but smile.

"Good morning," I said as she finally looked at me.

"Good morning," I heard back. She turned to her side and faced me. A strand of hair fell on her face. I brushed it away behind her ear and then tapped her nose with my finger. She twitched it under my touch.

"How did you sleep?" I asked.

"Great, thank you. And you?"

"I slept very well, thank you, but waking up was the best," I said looking right into her chocolate orbs.

"And that`s because…?" she asked narrowing her eyes.

"Because I woke up beside _you_, "I stated simply, "I like waking beside you, Bella, more that you know."

"Me too, Edward. You make me calm. I sleep better when you`re here."

_Wow._

"Are the little people downstairs or gone?" she asked.

"Charlie`s taken them out. They`ll be back after lunch."

"Brilliant! How come you`re already dressed?"

"I helped your dad get the girls ready and when they left I showered and put the clothes on."

"And I slept through it again," she shook her head, "I would never do it at home; I sleep very lightly when I`m on my own with the kids. It feels fabulous to just let go, you know?"

"Good," I smiled.

"There`s a place I want to show you today. Let`s get some breakfast and go," she pecked me on the nose and hopped out of the bed.

"Wow, someone`s chirpy today!" I laughed and followed her.

"I`m gonna hop in the shower. See you in a mo, OK?"

"Alright. Scrambled eggs? Cereal? Toast with jam? Coffee? Tea? Juice?"

"A bit of everything, please," she winked, "I`ll join you after my human moment."

"Human moment?"

"Yes, sorry. I`m editing this book about vampires. They`re technically dead, so they don`t need to use the bathroom, brush teeth and such."

"Oh, they`re `human` moments, I get it!"

I went downstairs feeling somewhat lighter after the previous night`s revelations. The children`s absence in the house this morning suited me perfectly. I wanted to ask Bella a couple of questions.

I was breaking eggs in a bowl when she entered the kitchen.

"It`ll be probably too cold for a picnic, but we can bring along some hot coffee in a thermos," she opened a cupboard taking out a tall silver bottle.

"Why do I have a feeling that you had this planned? You didn`t sound particularly surprised that your dad had taken the children out…"

"Oh, you`re too smart!" Bella laughed, "Yes, it was planned. I wanted a little date with you, but Sue and Dad wanted to bring Sophie and Rachel to a bistro that Sue`s son opened recently. And also our library has been redone and Sue thought the girls would love it. It all works out, see?"

"Cool. Are we talking about Sue`s son Seth?" I chuckled.

"A bit of a mouthful, isn`t it?" Bella laughed, "Seth is Leah`s younger brother, yes. He tried various careers and nothing lasted longer than a year, but after he went on vacation to Europe and tried various cuisines he fell in love with food. He opened his own place a few months back and he`s in his element!"

"That sounds great, we should get him and Em to meet; they could bounce ideas off each other."

"Well, Seth`s eatery is a little bistro Edward, not a large restaurant like the one that Emmett`s opening."

"Sweetheart, number one you never saw my brother`s place in Fairbanks, he`s only upgrading and enlarging _now_. Number two Emmett is nearly thirty seven and he`s been in the business for nearly two decades. How old is Seth?"

"Twenty seven."

"See, Emmett is just ten years ahead, that`s all. We should go to that bistro by the way."

"We`ll have lunch there, how about that? You`ll like Seth."

"I`m sure I will," I winked.

"But first I`m taking you on a little trip around town."

Forks looked as calm and relaxed as on the night of our arrival. Bella said hello to a few people on the way. As she pulled up the road leading to a complex of buildings I wondered what that was, but the sign in front of one of them explained quickly.

"Welcome to Forks High. This is where magic happens," she giggled.

We got out of the Mercedes and walked the grounds. Bella pointed at windows telling me what classes she had here and there. She shared a few funny memories with me and for a while she seemed to be that seventeen-year-old girl again. I would have loved her back then as much as I love her now. I would have secured her heart fifteen years earlier.

When we sat in the car again, I was taken for a ride through the forest surrounding the town. The asphalt eventually decreased and we entered a narrow country road where we parked. I took a backpack with the thermos and cookies that we`d brought with us and Bella led me through an unending serpentine carving around bushes and trees.

"I`m not a trekking type, we`ll almost there," Bella informed me.

"OK," I laughed, "I was beginning to worry what you`re planning on doing to me in the depths of the forest."

"Oh, the things I`d do to you… mmm…," she started with a giggle, "but it`s too cold now. Just you wait till we get back to Seattle though, grrr!" she made claw snapping motions at me.

"Can`t wait," I joked.

"Well, here we are, my love," she said quietly, clearly entranced herself, as we came to a little clearing, "It`s my secret meadow. My god, I haven`t been here in years…"

"It`s beautiful, Bella," I looked around.

"Thank you. We came here as a group a couple of times, you know, the Forks High gang. I came back on my own with a sandwich and a book, it was lovely. It seemed like a magical place and I wanted to bring my someone special here one day and today is the day," she stood facing me.

"I`m honored."

We threw the picnic rug that Bella had grabbed from the car on the grass and we sat down. The birds gossiped and a brave squirrel or two came to investigate who had come to enjoy the peace of the place along with them. Bella knew how to advance from intruders to friends and offered the red fur balls some nuts. The squirrels skipped to the grassy bit where Bella had thrown the nuts, snatched them and scurried off into the green.

"Look at you," I said enchanted, "Feeding wild animals in the forest, like Snow White."

She laughed out loud and kissed me.

"May Snow White have some coffee with her Prince then, please?"

"Certainly, Princess."

"It`s so good to breathe in the unspoiled air, isn`t it?" she sang lazily letting me hold her closely.

"It is. You can get dizzy from the pure oxygen here, it`s fantastic. I`ll remember the feeling when I`m running around the hospital corridors," I chuckled.

"That`s good. I`m glad you`re feeling better today, Edward."

"I am, thanks."

"If it`s anything to do with me…"

"Honestly?" I sighed, "Yes and no."

"Oh!" She gasped and frowned, "Tell me."

"OK. It has to do with me assuming things and stressing about them."

"Now it`s _me _who has a _feeling_."

"What feeling?"

"You were uneasy around Riley…"

"You know me well, Bella," I kissed her hair.

"So what did you assume?"

"When you were packing for the trip Riley said that he was the girls` father."

"What?!" Bella`s head snapped up to look at me.

"Well, to be exact he said that he better check on Rachel like you`d asked him to and that he was her father after all…"

"Oh my god! Edward… oh my god," she slapped a hand over her mouth, "I mean, he has this joke… oh my god, I`m so sorry, I didn`t realize!"

"It`s OK, sweetheart, I know what he meant now. Jacob told me that Riley isn`t the girls` father, just Rachel`s _god_father."

"That`s right. Oh, I could just squeeze this guy`s balls till they`re blue! I`m talking about Riley of course."

"Um, I would prefer you didn't touch any other man`s balls if that`s alright with you," I joked.

Bella sighed, "I`m happy you can laugh at it now. Riley has this line about how it doesn`t matter to him that Rachel is only his _god_daughter; in his heart she`s his child. I`m sure he presumed you knew that, and I just simply didn`t even think about it. I was very excited that you would meet _my friend_, that`s how I think of Riley. His being Rachel`s godfather is of secondary importance. I apologize for that, Edward and I`m more than sure that Riley thought that I had told you more about him including our inside jokes. I`m sorry, honey."

"It`s alright, Bella. We build something together and then someone dear to you from your past reappears… I felt thrown out of the water if you know what I mean."

_I`m freaking jealous, that`s what I mean!_

"I think I do," she said softly examining my face, "I felt the same way when Alice mentioned ladies called Lauren and Tanya in connection with you some time ago… Nevermind, we were talking about Riley. He`s kind of special to me… very special," she scanned my face again and brushed it with her thumb, "but not in a romantic way."

"In what way then, _Izzie_?"

"Oh my, stop, not you too!" she laughed out loud.

"Well, explain _Izzie_ then if you will."

"Pretty lame. Riley and I watched the first seasons of `Grey`s Anatomy` together. Have you ever seen that show?"

"No," I laughed, "I`m a real doctor and I don`t need any more medical drama when I come back home from work. But I remember years ago I watched a few episodes of "ER" with Alice; she had a thing for George Clooney."

"Did she? I`d be more of good not-that-old Johnny Depp dribbler I have to say."

"Johnny Depp dribbler… hahaha," I had to chortle at that one, "I only watched `21 Jump Street` with him."

"Well, hello, biggest fan of Tom Hanson here!" Bella bellowed with a giggle.

"Alright, you`re forgiven then. I thought you liked the black toothed pirate," I winced for effect.

"Oops, I`m forgetting I`m talking to a dentist. So, back to `Grey`s Anatomy`; Riley and I watched it together. There was this doctor there called Isobel, but everybody called her Izzie. Izzie fell in love with Denny, a patient awaiting a heart transplant. It got very serious, they even got engaged. Later he had the transplant but suffered a blood clot and subsequently passed away. Izzie was in such a shock and she was so devastated, it was heart wrenching. Soon after though she started having visions of Denny, she would literally see him and talk to him. It felt terrible watching her driving herself into insanity. Then it turned out that she had… um… matastatic melanoma?" she looked at me for approval.

"Yeah, cancer that moved from one organ to another."

"Yes. I can`t remember where it originated, but it spread to her brain. Those visions of Denny had to do with the changes in her brain; they were hallucinations. She missed Denny so much and you know what, I wanted her to die."

"You wanted her to _die_?"

"Yes. I wanted her to go so she could be with Denny," Bella stated, "She seemed to be dead already, Edward. I realized that it was most probably a normal stage of grieving, when you feel empty and like you can`t go on without that other person. I could feel Izzie`s pain and being a romantic idealist that I was I thought she would have been happier dying."

"And did she?"

"No. She had two tumors removed from her brain in the end. She survived and moved on. There was something about a drug that she was given that was criticized by real doctors, inter… something."

"Interleukin-2?"

"I`m not sure now, but you`re probably right. Someone said that she wouldn`t have been given it, because it causes bleeding and strokes if the melanoma has attacked the brain."

"Yeah, that`s right. She would have been offered radiosurgery."

"So, anyway Riley laughed at me for believing in that kind of love, you know, to the very end and so strong that you find it impossible to continue your life without your beloved one. He said it was girly and sentimental and he called me Izzie. It had nothing to do with the fact that the names Isobel and Isabella are similar, Riley just thought that I was _like_ Izzie and wished me luck in finding a love I would die being without. Mind you, I rubbed it in his pretty face when he met Maria, because he proved himself totally wrong."

"I think as much as we are afraid to believe in that kind of love we all hope to be the lucky ones to find it."

"True. But it`s easier to ridicule it than admit that we want to be love like that, strongly, deeply and forever."

"Yeah," I nodded, "Can we continue on the Riley thing? You mentioned that you two were very close…"

"Of course, sorry about that," she sighed, "Riley… might have saved my life."

_Oh my god, did she have an accident?_

"How, Bella?" I croaked out. My heart picked up the pace in less than a second.

"Well, if not my life then permanent emotional and physical health for certain."

I held her tighter. She leaned into me sensing my anxiety.

"It all happened a few weeks before Riley`s graduation. A few guys from his year invited girls from my year to the party. We all drove to Port Angeles one evening in search for attires. Obviously the girls didn`t want the boys to see the dresses so we went separately. I wasn`t going to the party with anyone, but joined the girls for support. I know, asking me for fashion advice… I`m not sure how good an idea that was, but I was hoping to sneak out to one book store, so I agreed to go. Riley drove his car with two other boys and because I wanted to get back home earlier I arranged to drive back to Forks with him instead of the girls; they were planning on going to a restaurant to celebrate the shopping spree."

"So you weren't going to the party with Riley?"

"No, he was dating a girl from his class at the time."

"OK."

"I arranged to meet Riley and the other two boys at a specific time, so after the girls had found their dresses I said goodbye to them and went to that book store before meeting Riley. I was running a little late and of course we didn`t have cell phones back then, so I made my way to the store quickly. I got chatting with the sales assistant and didn`t notice that it had gotten dark and late."

I swallowed hard. I wasn't` sure I wanted to hear the rest. What can a young innocent girl in a dark strange town mean?

Bella let out another loud sigh, "I left the store and walked towards the landmark we had arranged with Riley to pick me up. But after a minute or two I realized I was walking in circles. There was nobody around to ask for directions and I found myself in some dark alley. I noticed some light and car lights in between two building ahead and sped up. Suddenly two tall figures appeared from around the corner. At first I thought it was actually good and I would ask them the way, but literally seconds later I noticed them swaggering and shouting something obnoxious. As they neared I made out that they were two young guys, late teens, early twenties maybe and they weren`t just going to ignore me and walk past…"

"Bella…" I started, not knowing what to say next.

"Shhh, it`s OK, Edward," she placated _me_! "They created a gap between them but not to let me pass, they wanted to circle me. I turned around and started walking back. Their steps quickened and they began calling me and getting closer by a second. I panicked because I didn`t know where to go, the only way out seemed to be that end of the alley which they had blocked. I started walking back into the darkness! They caught up with me…"

_Please, no, please, please, no!_

"They were drunk, started poking me and saying that I was pretty and did I want to have fun. One asked if I knew how to have `fun` and he`d be happy to show me. I told them not to touch me but that only added to the fire. They were feeding on my fear. One reached out to touch my face and I swatted his hand off. He didn`t like it, he grimaced and I could see the change in his face…"

_God, please, where`s Riley?_

"He got angry and swayed his hand as if wanting to slap me, but in that instant we saw the flashing of car lights. I stood directly opposite the approaching car and I recognized it as Riley`s. He must have seen it was me but he revved the engine and stopped literally centimeters from those guys. I was terrified and for a moment I was convinced he was going to run them over. The drunk guys were shocked and I think they sobered up immediately. All three boys, Riley and his two friends jumped out of the car and I swear those two others were scared shitless of three high school students. Riley ordered me to get into the car and I begged him not to do anything stupid. He and his friends just stared down the other two and we drove home. It was the most tense car drive I`ve ever experienced. Riley kept telling me to talk to him to distract him from going back and making sure they wouldn`t be able to have any `fun` in their lives anymore and the other two boys kept calming me down and assuring me that they had a good look at the other guys` faces. I asked them not to mention anything to my dad, because he would most likely never let me out of the house again, but there was no chance. Riley, Tom and Josh got me home and against my will, they told my father everything straight away," Bella shook her head with a smile at her friends` `mischief`.

"Of course my dad being a cop worked on it without a minute`s wait. The guys were caught three days later. They were university students from another state on vacation and looking for `fun`. They had harassed two girls before me here in Seattle actually, and then moved to Port Angeles. I was a victim number three, there was one more girl and things have gone a good bit further with her than with me before someone scared them away. They never got to raping any woman, but were considered dangerous."

"What happened to them?" I inquired dryly.

"Expulsion from uni and a nice sentence following several testimonies from their university co-students. Those guys were popular and not many people would go against them, let alone a girl who would accuse them of harassment and attempted assault. It would have fired back, she would have been labelled a desperate one and left to be laughed at by others. But when it came to light that they had expanded their playground the girls began testifying. Riley, Tom and Josh were there for me all the way and after that Riley watched me like a hawk. He was worse than my dad! He wanted to drive me everywhere and he would call my home if he knew I was doing something alone and he couldn`t be there with me. Sometimes he didn`t even talk to me; he would ring, ask Charlie if I was home and hang up. He said he wouldn`t be able to look after me forever, but while he could he would make sure that I was safe on his watch. I think my dad wanted me to marry Riley, " she smiled, "Dad still keeps tabs on those guys; as far as I know one went back to a local college, is married now and lives across the country and the other one left the US altogether."

I inhaled the scent of her strawberry shampoo and kissed her hair, "Bella, I don`t know what to say… It left me completely baffled, sweetheart. I feel sick not having been there all those years ago to protect you… I am so sorry I wasn`t there, baby."

"Edward, please, we didn`t know each other, you couldn`t have been there."

"I know, but it doesn`t change the fact that I feel like I`d failed you. Please don`t look at me like that, I love you and I can`t stand the idea of you being harmed."

"Thank you, honey. I love you too. I`m a total _Izzie_ when it comes to you, you know that? But you can call me Snow White if you want to," she smiled at me.

We linked foreheads as I said, "Two days ago I wouldn`t have believed if someone told me that I`d be grateful for Riley`s presence in your life. Now I`m glad that you two are so close and I`m happy that he found you in that alley."

"So am I. When I didn`t show at the arranged place to be picked up the boys waited a while and then thought that maybe I wanted to stay with the girls after all. They checked the restaurant where the girls were eating but I wasn't there, so they went back to that corner where I was supposed to be. When I still wasn`t there they got worried because the book store was after closing almost half an hour and it should have taken me no more than five, maybe ten minutes to get to where I was to meet the boys. They drove around and found me…"

"One good thing about cell phones these days, huh?"

"I guess so."

"So, just to finish the subject, Riley is Rachel`s godfather. How about Sophie`s one, do I know him?"

"Haha," Bella laughed, "It`s Mike Newton, my boss`s son and also my former school mate from Forks High. You`re gonna meet him next week, he`s coming to the office in Seattle and then visit his mom here. He`s our financial director at Newton Publishing."

"OK. Thank you for sharing the story with me, Bella."

"I wanted you to meet Riley prior to telling you the whole story, but then I didn`t have time. You two met just the day before yesterday and yesterday we were already travelling and the children were with us the whole time… One way or the other, I`m happy that it cleared things for you."

"No worries."

"By the way, when you hear Mike calling Sophie `his girl`…"

"I won`t be alarmed. I think of the three of you as `my girls` as well, so I understand that protectiveness. Quite frankly I`d be surprised if they _didn`t_ claim you in some way."

"I appreciate and love my friends, but there`s only one man who can _claim_ me," she captured my lips.

"Not another mystery," I gasped, "I wonder who _he_ is."

Bella disconnected our lips and examined my face for a moment.

"Come on, let`s go for lunch before we freeze our bottoms off," she said shivering. "We`ll come back here in the summer when the flowers bloom. It`s gorgeous here then with colorful blankets covering the whole meadow. You`ll love it."

"I love it already, Bella. Are we going to Seth`s place?"

"Yes, straight to `Wolf`s Lounge` now."

"`Wolf`s Lounge`? That`s the name?"

"Yep. It`s a bow to the legends you heard yesterday. The tribe members go to Seth`s to relax and have a bite, so it suits I think."

"It`s brilliant! Just like your idea of `Eclipse` for Emmett`s restaurant, it reflects the owners and the patrons."

As we turned towards the lane leading out of the clearing the birds were already fluttering down to feast on the cookie crumbs we left behind.

I drove us back into town and over to the bistro. I felt a connection with Forks, much more than a little over an hour earlier when Bella piloted me to her enchanted garden.

Seth reminded me of my brother. Unlike Emmett he has a physique of a college boy, but he has the exact same enthusiasm and energy in him as Em. Seth told us that his mom, Charlie and the girls had been in earlier and Sophie and Rachel enjoyed some toast with honey and fruit salad. And they were excited about going to the library. Bella beamed and I`m pretty sure I had the same grin on my face. After learning about their _god_fathers the girls felt more mine again.

We had hearty pasta with chicken and broccoli in hollandaise sauce and ice cream for dessert. The place was buzzing and the smells coming from the kitchen were magnificent. I would definitely introduce Seth and Emmett to each other.

After lunch we went back to Bella`s dad`s house expecting two young people bursting to tell us about their morning. No such thing happened though. Charlie and Sue sat quietly at the kitchen table talking and reading and the children were asleep. There was so much excitement going on earlier on that they collapsed on the bed that Bella and I had slept in as soon as _Gampa_ opened the door. So we sat at the table too and I confessed how much I liked Forks. Sue listed places to see and people to meet and Bella said she would bring me back again to show me all of it.

I consider Sue to be an interesting, warm lady, very much involved in the lives of her children. She genuinely likes Bella and the twins and it seems like she`s taken to me too. She appears to be a good companion for Bella`s dad. I found it strange though that after well over a decade as a couple they didn`t live together, neither of them had moved into the other`s house. Honestly speaking I was surprised when Bella told me that she was still in university when her dad started seeing Sue because chief Swan`s house didn`t contain too many of Sue`s items. It looked like she was an occasional visitor rather than the permanent resident there.

The evening passed on playing games with Rachel and Sophie, cooking dinner and discussing sports matters. Sue bode us farewell and the rest of us went for a walk around town. Chief and I carried the tots on our shoulders for a while and chased them around the park along with Bella. I was hoping that what I saw in her father`s eyes was approval.

We ate dinner and played some more before Bella looked at the clock and decided it was time for the little ladies to say goodnight.

"We`re on vacation, so you can choose who`s putting you to bed," she offered the children.

"Edward!" I heard two united voices. Interesting, I was expecting them to request their grandfather. I received a nod from him though and bowed back.

"Alright then, Cookies. Say goodnight to Mommy and Granddad and up the stairs we go! Pjs on, brush teeth, read a story, how`s that?"

"Yay, yay, yay!"

"OK, calm down," I said and waited as the girls kissed and hugged Bella and her dad.

The giggling session whilst taking clothes off and putting on pajamas lasted good ten minutes. I will never know where kids get all the energy from and right before going to bed! I was presented with all sorts of mischief and delaying tactics, from tickling to hiding under Bella and mine covers on the bed. At the end I was exhausted and the girls were hyper. _Typical._

"Now, remember to brush upstairs and downstairs, so all your teeth are clean," I handed out two toothbrushes with kiddie gel on the bristles and watched the twins slide them along their pearls.

"You help me?" Rachel asked.

"Sure. Open wide."

She opened her mouth and stood quietly as I cleaned her teeth with the fruity foam.

"Now you have to brush _your_ teeth too!" she smiled mischievously. Sophie`s eyes twinkled in the same way. Would I let them do it?

"Fair play," I took my own brush and squeezed minty paste onto it.

"Can I smell it?" Rachel stuck her nose close to the brush.

"Yep, take a sniff," I laughed.

"Ew," she grimaced, "I don`t like it. Mine is better."

"I know, yours is fruity."

"Aha. Open wide and we _bush_ upstairs and downstairs now," she ordered.

I let them take turns and they were in stitches cleaning my teeth, Sophie did the upper ones and Rachel finished with the ones in my lower jaw.

We climbed up Granddad`s bed and while strangling Iggy and Mooky we chose two stories from the small pile we had brought from Seattle.

Granddad came up for something in his room and was made to stay for one story. He laughed that the girls were such book worms, just like their mom.

We shared goodnight kisses on the forehead, left cheek, right cheek, chin, nose and forehead once more and the ducklings slipped onto their mattresses. Charlie told me they were borrowed from Jacob`s boys. I should have known.

Downstairs all three of us adults sat on the couch to watch the news. Bella leaned into me and little by little I encircled her shoulders until I held her tightly, as if I were easing Chief into his daughter and mine closeness. But it looked like he didn`t mind my being in a powerful position in his daughter and granddaughters` lives.

About twenty minutes later I went upstairs to use the bathroom and when I left, I heard movements and a little voice calling mommy. I peeked through the ajar door. The light from the hallway cast a sliver of a shadow onto Sophie`s face. She lay with her eyes open.

"Hi baby, Mommy`s downstairs talking to Granddad. Aren`t you sleepy yet?" I walked to her and kneeled down beside the mattress. Rachel was in Dreamland.

"No. I`m _tinking,_" Sophie responded.

"You`re thinking? What about, baby?"

"I don`t know," she admitted.

"Maybe you`re thinking about what you did today?"

"Yes."

"OK, so tell me, did you have a nice day today, Sophie?"

"Yes, uhm," she nodded politely.

"What did you like about today?"

"I liked the books in the _liberry_ and the park."

"And remember that hedgehog we saw?"

"He was spiky!" she giggled spreading her fingers imitating hedgehog spines.

"Very spiky, you`re right. He must have just woken up from his big winter sleep."

"Yep," another nod.

"Can you remember what that big long sleep is called?"

"Hibernation," she said proudly.

"That`s my girl, well done! You are so clever."

"Do you know _everything_?" I was asked.

"No, not everything. I don`t think anyone knows everything, but that`s OK."

"My mommy does," she thwarted my attempts at being educational.

"Of course she does. Your mommy is the wisest lady I have met, Sophie."

"Are you going to marry Mommy?"

_Uh oh…_

"Um… well… I… I don`t know, sweetie. People usually don`t get married that soon," I said.

"Why?"

"Why? Because they need to spend a lot of time together and get to know each other, learn what they like and what they don`t like, what makes them happy and what makes them sad. And if they love each other, maybe after some time will get married."

"Tomorrow?"

"No, not tomorrow, angel, but maybe one day…"

"You have to give Mommy a ring. Do you have a pretty ring?" she asked freaking staring me down!

"No, Sophie, I don`t have a ring."

She scrambled out of her make-up bed before I registered what was going on. In semi-darkness she rummaged through her clothes and took something out of her jeans pocket. Unceremoniously she plopped it into my hand.

"You give it to Mommy and get married."

I opened my hand wider and examined the small item. It was a toy ring with a large, plastic, heart-shaped, bright blue `gem` on top.

_Oh my god, am I in trouble here!_

"Thank you, Sophie," _Jesus, what am I supposed to say now?_ "It`s a very pretty ring. Do you think it will fit Mommy? Is it big enough?"

"It will," she frowned her cute forehead, "But you can buy a bigger one. It`s very _portant_, Edward."

"Oh, I understand that," I tried to match my tone of voice with hers. _Boy, does she know how to do business!_

"And you be my daddy."

_?_

"If I married your mommy, it would make me your daddy then?"

"Yes."

"How does that work?"

"Because… because…" she struggled, "because mommy`s… husband is called daddy!" she finished proudly.

_God Almighty, there`s no way she`s not even three yet! This girl has been here before!_

"Oh, right. So if I married your mommy, I would be called your daddy. And you would like that, Sophie?"

"Yes."

"Mommy and you and Rachel would all wear lovely dresses and we would dance all night…" I attempted to steer her away from her `daddy` subject to a more girly one.

"I would like you to be my daddy," she stood her ground. My almost thirty-five-year-old male heart trembled.

"And why would you like me to be your daddy, sweetie?"

"Because I love you and you have to live with me and Chichi and Mommy and you can`t go to your house because my house will be your house too!"

_Just like that, huh?_

"Sophie, these are lovely things to say, thank you."

"You`re welcome," she sang politely. I was a pile of goo.

"Are you sure you would like me to live in your house _all_ the time?"

"Yes, yes! I will share with you! Sharing is caring!" she exclaimed in excited whispers, "And you will play with me every day!"

"Would that be fun, you think?"

"Yep, lots and lots of fun! And Chichi will play too!"

"Absolutely, it`s very important to remember about your sister," I agreed watching her yawn, "You know what though, I`m a bit tired now, I think I will put on my pjs and go to sleep. Why don`t you have a rest as well and we`ll talk more another time?"

"OK," she rubbed her eyes.

"OK. Goodnight, my angel. It`s been wonderful talking to you."

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, baby girl," I was glad the dim light hid the moisture building in my eyes, "Can I keep this ring for a while, would that be alright with you?"

"OK."

"Thank you, Sophie. Sleep well," I pressed my lips to her forehead.

"We have to say a prayer now," her eyes snapped open.

I smiled, "Oh, sorry, I almost forgot. I know a special one for little girls and boys. Close your eyes now and I`ll say it for you, OK?" I watched her shut her brown pools obediently and stroked her forehead as she liked.

"`My guardian angel, look left and right, keep me safe and happy every day and night.`"

"Mommy knows a different prayer," she murmured.

"I know baby, but this is a special one for children who want to say it all by themselves. I`ll teach you tomorrow if you want…"

"Uhm…" another yawn escaped her mouth before she succumbed to a well deserved rest. She made a deal of her life in less than five minutes and all it took was a plastic ring! Genius!

Rachel was fast asleep, so I adjusted her covers and brushed unruly strands of hair away from her face. She sighed quietly. I left the room.

"Hi," I was startled by Bella walking up the stairs, "I was just about to check on you. Everything alright?"

"Yeah, cool. Sophie was awake so we had a chat. She`s gone now," I said somewhat nervously squeezing the plastic ring in my palm.

_Sophie and I have just made some life plans, that`s all, sweetheart._

"I`m gonna take a shower and change now," she said pecking me on the nose. I seized the moment and captured her lips with mine. Se gasped softly and let me pull her closer.

"I miss you, Bella."

"Tell me about it," she whimpered, "I`m horny as hell. I love it here, but I`m glad we`re going back to Seattle tomorrow, otherwise I can`t vouch for my own actions."

"Umm, we`re on the same page again then…" I flicked my tongue against hers, "Just one more night…"

"Or you could join me in the shower," she whimpered desperately.

_Holy shit!_

"I wouldn`t dare pushing your dad`s boundaries, he`s been more than welcoming already," I said.

"Oh, you know I`m just teasing, I wouldn`t have followed through no matter how badly I want you now," she continued.

"You know what, why don`t you go take that shower while I calm down before seeing your dad again."

Bella looked at the area below my waist and understood why I would need to breathe deeply and think of giant spiders chasing me in the night or something equally unerotic.

Chief Swan was watching a sports channel when I joined him on the couch.

"Edward, I just wanna say you`re a good man," came out unexpectedly, "I`ve seen you with my girls in Seattle and here and I see how they are pretty… attached to you. They`re happy and I think it has a lot to do with you."

"I love them, Chief."

"I can see that," he nodded, "And it`s Charlie, Edward."

"Pardon?"

"Call me Charlie."

"Charlie it is then. I appreciate it."

"Me too. These girls mean everything to me, you know?"

"Same here, Chi- Charlie."

"Want some more?" he pointed at his empty beer can.

"Yeah, I`ll get it," I stood up and went to the kitchen.

There, in the dark room I held on to the counter and closed my eyes for a second, breathing deeply.

_Sophie wants me to marry her mom, Charlie accepts me in his precious ladies` life, Bella`s friends treat me like a Swan… I didn`t have any agenda coming here two days ago, but it`s been a pretty rewarding time for me._

Bella came back smelling fresh and wearing a chunky bathrobe. I wasn`t sure how I would survive this assault on my senses, but wouldn`t dare pushing my freshly built luck with Charlie, so I continued with the sports discussion.

Charlie called it the night soon after and Bella and I cleaned the kitchen together before going upstairs.

"Mmmm, I`ve been waiting for this," I chuckled as she pressed herself close to me under the covers. I swear I could hear the silky fabric of that night dress singing to me `rip me off, take me…` like a siren.

"And I will gladly give it to you tomorrow," she promised seductively rotating her bum in my hand where I held her.

"Bella, you`re entering dangerous waters," I warned her.

"You know," she whispered, "I`m still trying to figure out whether you`re `a boob man` or `an ass man`."

"What if I`m both?"

"Well, yeah, that suits me well, but it`s usually a little bit more one than the other."

I remained silent.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing, I thought you`d fallen asleep."

"While talking about your perkies and buns? Never!" I whispered squeezing her bottom to show her what I meant, "One thing for sure though…" I began and then stopped.

"What?"

"I`m not sure I should say it with the children here."

"They`re asleep, we`re not doing anything, just talking."

"Well," I leaned lower and murmured directly into her ear, "I am definitely `Bella`s pussy` man."

She slapped a hand over her mouth and I could feel her blushing furiously.

"Oh my god, I can`t believe you`ve just said that," she gasped braving a glance at me.

"What? You asked!" I defended my brazenness, "And I told you the truth."

Her lids fell halfway down her eyes and she kissed me quickly, once, twice, again and again…

"How about you? What do you like?" I asked.

"I love your eyes," a kiss, "your hands…" another one, "and I`m the biggest fan of Little Eddie`s…"

"Little Eddie`s?" something clicked in my head.

"Aha," she continued kissing my face.

"You call my parts Little Eddie?"

"Aha, that same part that`s poking my thigh right now…" she giggled still in hushed tones and then looked at me, "Is it OK?"

"Yeah, it`s more than OK. In fact I use the same name for my little buddy."

"Not that _little_…" she mused.

"OK," I said sobering up, "we have two children here, so I suggest you scoot to the other side of the bed if we don`t wanna do anything scandalous."

"No, I wanna stay close to you," she protested with a pout that she probably learned at the age of two to melt her daddy. It bloody worked on me too.

"You promise to be good?"

"Scout`s honor."

"Have you ever even been a scout?"

"No. Don`t you know how clumsy and bad around blood I am?"

I laughed, "OK you, come here."

"I love you."

"I love you back."

"Tomorrow, Little Eddie," she ghosted over my half erected penis under the sheets, "tomorrow."

"Bella?!"

"Goodnight, Edward."

I listened to her falling into a deep slumber again. I love doing it.

Could I have this forever? Sophie and Rachel brushing my teeth, drinking beer with Charlie, Bella in my arms _every_ night? My… _wife_?

The next morning we had quick breakfast at `Wolf`s Lounge` and then hit the road. Charlie was on the way to work, but he hugged us all and promised to come to Seattle for the girls` birthday.

We sang and joked and reminisced on the past few days. It was a dry, sunny day and this time Rachel and Sophie wanted to explore the ferry, look out the windows and go out on the deck. Bella, being the typical mom took ages making sure her children`s coats were buttoned up and their scarves and hats covered half of their faces protecting them from the wind. I would have probably let them run around in their sweaters… Men, huh?

It was just after two o`clock when we arrived in Seattle. Rachel and Sophie were tired. Bella told me she had arranged for Kate to be in her house and stay with the girls while she brought me home and did some grocery shopping.

Kate was waiting for us and the twins hopped over to her joyfully, already reporting everything that happened in Forks, one over the other. Kate told Bella not to worry, she would feed them and probably let them have a snooze.

"Baby, thank you for doing this, but I would have taken a cab," I said, "I need to go to Stefan`s office first anyway. I left a folder there the last time and I`ll need it tonight in the hospital."

"OK, no problem. Drive to the office then. I want to do some shopping, Edward, I would have left the house anyway and the kids were too tired to be dragged around."

"Are you plotting something, Miss Swan?"

"Is it a sin that I want to spend some more time with my man?"

"Not at all, every minute counts. And your man is eager to enjoy each minute."

"Your shift starts at six, does it?"

"Yeah. Twenty four hours though. Will I see you tomorrow night?"

"Of course," she smiled and placed hand on my knee. I was driving and she didn`t move the hand even half an inch, but it was enough for Little Eddie to pick up on the promise...

"It`s closed today?" Bella said surprised as we entered Stefan`s dental office.

"It is, yeah. We got a notification of some electrical work going on in the building today and with the possible disruptions we couldn`t open today."

"I see," she looked around and then her eyes fell on me.

"Here," I waved the folder I wanted to collect, "Got it. We can go."

"Are we alone here?" Bella`s voice hit a higher pitch.

"Yes." God, I still hadn`t coped onto what she was after.

Meanwhile, she walked over to the chair and ran her finger alongside of it.

"Care for a little game?"

"Game?" I questioned her, though a bulb began flashing in my mind…

"Sit on the chair, Cullen," she ordered huskily.

"Pardon?"

"Get on that chair, Edward!" her voice was low and firm. I looked at her and she licked her lips, smiling, "I made a promise last night and I`m going to keep it."

Bella`s eyes didn't leave me as I sat on the dental chair. _A little fantasy, huh? She never ceases to amaze me. I`ll be a good patient._

Bella stood beside the chair and her head hovered over mine while she ran her right hand up one of my legs and my torso, then she brushed it against my jaw. Certain parts in my lower body craved attention…

"So, Mr. Cullen," she said softly, "tell me, what brings you here?"

"I`m in pain, Dr. Swan, a lot of pain." _God, I`m loving this, wherever she`s going with it!_

"A lot of pain? Now, let me see… Where does it hurt?" Bella`s hand ran up and down my body again, deliberately circling around my sensitive area, but avoiding it, which of course was causing more pain.

"There`s this place… between my legs, Dr. Swan." My voice was ragged now.

Bella looked deeply into my eyes and squeezed my straining bulge at the same time. _Shit! _"Right here, Mr. Cullen?" She asked innocently in a quiet, concerned voice.

_YES, BABY!_

"Yes, doctor…"

"Oh, I can feel the swelling…" she said and she rubbed it with a bit of force.

_Holy God, show me some mercy!_

"It`s very painful." I tried my `patient` voice, feeling my swelling growing even harder.

"Hmmm, what to do?" she wondered to herself and scratched her chin with her right hand having taken it off my jeans. I wanted to cry. Her left hand was staying on the head rest, centimeters from my face, I turned to the right and kissed her thumb. Bella smiled at me and I reciprocated. I think it gave her courage. She cleared her throat and threw her head back. It nearly undid me. "Well, I better take a look at it, then. You need to take your jeans off." _Hallelujah! _

Our fingers caressed each other when we attacked my button fly together. I lifted my hips and Bella pulled my jeans down taking my shorts with them. She threw me a quick glance and slipped back into her role.

"Oh, dear, Mr. Cullen, it`s worse than I thought…"she licked her lips and touched my balls with her fingertips. "It`s so long and thick… And hard…"

_OK, I`m dead. _"Is there anything you can do, Dr. Swan?"

"Perhaps something warm and wet…" she wondered as her hand ran up and down my shaft and her eyes stared into mine. _I`m gonna have to send God a nice bottle of wine._

"I love you." I whispered and she came up for a quick, sweet kiss. I earned myself a wink from my `doctor` before she proceeded to wrap her hands around my shaft and balls and my head disappeared in her warm, wet mouth. At this stage I was so turned on and so desperate for release, it was almost unbearable. I knew that seeing Bella`s beautiful hands and mouth wrapped around my cock would send me over the edge now, so I threw my head back on the headrest, gritted my teeth and closed my eyes. I couldn't believe we were doing this, in my surgery, on my dental chair. I had never got laid on this chair, though it was one of my fantasies.

Bella was twisting, squeezing, licking, biting and I was going insane. The sounds she was making… God, it was like she was enjoying the best food in the world, the murmuring, grunting and moaning were the sexiest utterances imaginable. My sounds mirrored hers, my hips began to buck involuntarily and she seemed delighted, chuckling against my oversensitive skin. I was getting dangerously close. Bella could feel it, she recognized my heavy, interrupted breathing. And then she pulled back. _WHAT!?_

I was really aching now, hard, swollen and bothered beyond belief. The sudden withdrawal of her mouth threw me into agony. I looked down at her. She was still gripping my shaft and her eyes were fully focused on the head. As if nothing else in the world existed, she looked at it lovingly with a beautiful smile and blew at it gently. I couldn't think.

"Bella." I begged her with the faintest whisper.

She was still staring at my cock as if she were having a private conversation with it. _Fuck, just take me, please! _I watched her graze the very tip of my head with the tip of her tongue and I gripped the sides of my seat as tightly as possible. My head was spinning. Bella plunged me back into her mouth with such abandon that at the sudden feeling of her warm wetness I lost it completely. It only took seconds and I erupted into her mouth. She let out the loudest moan and threw me into heaven over and over again.

I don't know how much time passed before I heard `doctor Bella`s` voice next to my ear. "Are you feeling any better, Mr. Cullen?"

I had my eyes closed still and couldn't help it; only a quiet, relaxed laugh escaped my mouth. Bella followed me. She put her right hand over my frantic heart. It was bursting with love for her.

"Baby, give me a moment to regain my consciousness." I said to her and she was silent. Neither of us said anything, we could only hear our hearts calming down and communicating with their solid beats.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw Bella studying my face. Her features were glowing, she was so beautiful. I lifted her right hand and brushed my lips against her palm and wrist. She gasped quietly. I took her cheeks into my hands and brought her down for a kiss.

"I love you, Edward." She said calmly.

"I love you so much, sweetheart."

"We have to go now…" she pulled away and there was aching in her voice.

I tried to stop her. "Wait, how about you, Miss Swan? I will tend to you in a moment."

"We don't have much time, Edward…"

I pulled my jeans back on and hopped off the chair. "It`s _Dr. Cullen_." I stated with a fake annoyance. Bella sighed. "OK, Miss Swan, I know we need to go, but I`ll make an appointment for you soon and you are so going to squeak and squeal!" My murmurs and the low tone of my voice earned me a whimper from my `patient`. I would take care of her as soon as I could…

Have that forever? Hell, yes!


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21 BPOV**

**COULD SOMEBODY COLLECT HUGO, PLEASE?**

Thank God it`s over, I thought. After the whole night and most of the day, the skies finally stopped crying.

I was just round the corner from my house when I saw three human shapes jumping up and down. Pulling over I started laughing at the sight of Rachel and Sophie, dressed in their raincoats and boots having a ball stomping their feet right in the deepest puddles. Edward had his regular shoes on, but it hadn`t stopped him from hopping into the water either.

"Hi Mommy!" Sophie shouted when I got out of the car, "We are frogs, look!"

Edward looked at me apologetically but smiled a relieved smile when I scanned his wet figure and shook my head with amusement.

"Well, that`s what I was going to ask, where are your lily pads, guys?" I made my way to the three of them and hugged the little froglets. The smiles on their faces ensured me that they had been having a hysterically good time.

The grown up frog took my hand, "Hi, sweetheart." I reached my head up and received a sweet peck on the lips.

"I hope you don`t mind them being outside. I know it`s wet, but it`s actually warm, so I thought it would good to get some fresh air," Edward said and the green of his eyes engulfed me.

"Of course it is and of course I don't mind. I`m glad they`re… _you _are having fun", I waved at all three of them.

"Trust me, I didn't have to ask twice, the moment I suggested the puddles, they were at the door," he murmured so the girls wouldn't hear. His whisper tickled my neck.

"Oh, I trust you on that one, I know these cheekies; they wouldn't pass any opportunity of being silly."

We went back inside and Edward placed his shoes under the radiator. Good thing he was staying overnight.

I liked the idea of Edward being "stuck" with me. If it meant my house, then it most probably meant my bedroom… And for that reason I was ready to down a bucket of water on his shoes every day!

It was the night of the private opening of `Eclipse`. The official one was happening in two days` time; tonight it was all for the families and closest friends of Emmett`s and the staff.

We dressed up to the nines and got a cab to bring us to the Cullens house before we all headed to the venue. If rumors were to be believed, Edward`s brother and his wife had some news they wanted to share with their family only…

"There are three things we`re celebrating today," Emmett started, raising his glass of wine with the whole family gathered around Esme and Carlisle`s living room. Rose stood beside him with an exciting smile and the look of total love for her `monkey man`.

"Woohoo!" Edward let out.

"Thanks bro," Emmett laughed, "Number three is `Eclipse` of course and Bella, thanks for the name, you rock!" he winked at me, "Number two is… we bought the house!"

"The house that looked like Rose`s picture?" Edward asked.

"The same one!" Emmett assured.

"Wow, fantastic, congratulations!" Pretty much all of us cheered.

"And number one is we might be parents…"

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

"We got a call from the agency a few days ago," Emmett continued, "There were twin boys born last week. Unfortunately, they both had serious heart conditions and one passed away a day after birth. But the other fella seems to be a little fighter and he`s hanging in there," he sighed.

"There was a couple who had priority," Rose added, "but they already have one child of their own and an adopted one with health problems, so regretfully they let that new boy go. They believe they wouldn`t be able to provide him with all the care that he will need, given the other two kids. Emmett and I talked about it and we decided that apart from love and energy and time obviously, we`d be able to cover medical costs as this little one will need plenty of medical attention as he grows up."

"So, you want him?" Alice said hopefully, rubbing her belly. She was most probably already imagining herself and Rose caring for their babies together. She wasn`t the only one.

"Yes, we do," Rosalie admitted, "Our biological child could have been born with health issues as well so the fact that his heart is weak means very little to us in the face of what we feel for him already."

"You`ll mend each other`s hearts," I said. Rose nodded with a motherly smile.

"We saw him today," Emmett revealed, "He was born four weeks premature and of course he was a twin, so he`s tiny and he`s in an incubator with all sorts of equipment attached to him, but we were allowed to touch him…" he looked at his wife who was tearing up. He reached out an arm to hold her, but she waved `no` to him, not wanting to fall apart on what it was supposed to be a night of celebrations. Carlisle seized the moment and raised his glass and congratulated them on all the news. We all took a sip.

"Thank you," Em said, "The last few months have been literally crazy, with all the changes happening at the same time, and I have no doubts it would have all driven the two of us insane if not for you all. Thank you so, so, so much for being such an awesome bunch. We wouldn`t have done it without your support and what can I say, it`s good to be back home!"

Impatiently, we got into the cabs and soon began a sensational evening at the new restaurant.

ECLIPSE is simply amazing. It`s spacious, bright and stylish, but with a homely and warm touch. Only Esme could have done such a terrific job in so little time, but I`m sure she had started planning the whole thing in her mind the moment her son mentioned moving back to Seattle.

The meal was delicious, but the biggest surprise was the dessert. One of them was called `Hugo`s gooey chocolate mess` and I learned that it was indeed in honour of Alice and Jasper`s son. Some time ago when Emmett asked Hugo to help him bake brownies, Hugo stirred the ingredients eagerly and even suggested adding some extra nutmeg and cinnamon to the dough. The brownie cake came out perfect, but when Uncle Emmett was taking it out of the tin he turned it at a risky angle to give Hugo a good view and bumped it accidentally against the counter, effectively letting go of the tin and the cake fell out. Fortunately it landed in another tin that they had put aside earlier, so the brownie was going to be OK to eat. Trying to save his `one of two coolest uncles` badge, Emmett answered to Hugo`s `uh oh!` with an idea. He cut the soft cake into irregular pieces, placed them into individual bowls, then he drizzled them with melted white chocolate and Hugo sprinkled them with slivers of dark one. He then proceeded to tell his uncle that it was the best cake ever. It was so good that it was now one of the main attractions at the restaurant!

Rose then pointed out that there was something else special on the card, `Babyccino`. And Babyccino was warm frothed milk sprinkled with cinnamon, in honour of Sophie and Rachel! Rose remembered how the duckies wanted to try Bambinoccino at the place that we went to for a girly lunch a couple of months earlier, but the name was too long for them to pronounce and they called it _babyccino_. Now Babyccino was on the `Eclipse` menu, in two flavours to choose from, vanilla or cocoa. Enough said, all the Cullens and Swans already had their favorites; we literally moaned eating the soft gooey chocolatey mess and devoured Babyccino, in both flavors. I couldn`t believe that Emmett and Rose included something inspired by my children in their business. It was like a `welcome to the family` thing. I felt so proud and grateful.

The next couple of days we spent awaiting news from Alice and Jasper`s on their new arrival and from Rose and Emmett on the little boy that would hopefully pull through and become a Cullen. He was in a critical condition and the doctors told the prospective parents that they would need a miracle, but hope dies last so we all prayed. There was this mixture of angst and joy. We knew that Alice was carrying a strong, healthy baby girl and we wanted to be happy and excited for her, but at the same time a baby boy who after losing his brother had already acquired a circle of people ready to love him with all their might, was quietly fighting for a chance at life. How ironic it all is sometimes…

One night I sat at the kitchen table after putting the girls to bed. Edward was outside looking for something in his car.

My phone rang. Charlie.

"Hi, Dad, how are you?" I said excited, thinking that maybe he`d be able to add to the joys instead of worries.

"Hi, Bella, I`m OK. How`s everyone? How was the restaurant opening?"

"It was brilliant! The place is so beautiful and elegant. And you know what? They put a special kiddie drink on the menu called `Babyccino` in honour of Sophie and Rachel, how amazing is that? I`ll bring you to `Eclipse` next time you`re here. I`m sure Sue will love it!"

"I`m sure I`ll enjoy it," he started before sighing awkwardly.

"Is something the matter, Dad? Are you unwell?" My free hand instinctively covered my heart.

"No, no, I`m fine. I`m fine," he reassured himself more than me.

"Dad?"

"I`m not sick, Bella, don`t worry. About Sue… She won`t be coming with me."

"Oh my god, is _she_ sick?" _Help me out here._

"No, she isn`t sick; why are you assuming the worst, Bells?"

_Guess._

"Tell me then."

"We kinda…broke up."

"Broke up?!"

"Yes," my dad stated.

"Dad…" I opened and closed my mouth repeatedly, like a fish, "I don`t know what to say."

"I`m not expecting you to say anything, Bella, just wanted you to know."

"But we just saw you last week…" I frantically searched my memory for `bad` signs, but found none.

"I know."

"So at Christmas when you told me that things hadn`t been like they used to… it was bad then?"

"Yeah. It`s been… God, this is awkward," he said and I could imagine him scratching his head, "Over the years we were more friends than anything else really. She`s ready to move on."

"Move on," I repeated to myself, trying to decipher the meaning of the words.

"I`m not that good at committing…"

"Not good at committing? You mean Sue wanted marriage and you didn`t?"

"I don`t know, Bella. Sue was one of my best friend`s wife, it always sat on my mind. I`m fine though, I just wanted you to know, that`s all. I have to go now, Joe`s calling me. Will you kiss the girls for me? And say hi to Edward? I`ll call you tomorrow."

"Of course, Dad. Take care of yourself."

"I will, thanks," he hung up before I could squeeze in another word. Of course, he was off to his `wife`, his work I mean. My father is married to his job, there`s no doubt about it. He has no commitment issues there!

My god, twelve years, he and Sue were together for twelve years! Or maybe not as `together` as I thought…

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Edward`s voice reached me unexpectedly. I hadn`t noticed him enter the room.

"Yeah, I`m OK," I rubbed my forehead, "I`m… I`m… OK."

"Why the tears then?"

"Pardon?"

"You`re crying, Bella. Was it your mom on the phone?" he sounded very concerned squatting beside me.

"Crying? God, I didn`t even realize, I`m sorry," I wiped the wet patch on my cheek, "It was my dad. He and Sue _broke up_."

"Wh-?" Edward started, shaking his head.

"Yeah, my thoughts exactly."

"But we just saw them last week! They seemed… I don`t know what they are like usually, but they seemed like a normal couple to me."

"You know that Sue`s late husband Harry was one of my dad`s best friends? Charlie says he never forgot that, it`s been on his conscious the whole time."

"So, did your dad and Sue get together after Harry`s death?"

"Yes. Harry had a heart attack. Sue was very distraught and my dad comforted her in the first weeks. The friendship between them flourished and then I suppose some passion followed, but it seems it wasn`t strong enough to carry on. Charlie says that Sue wants to move on."

"Maybe she`s met someone else?"

"Maybe. I`m just worried about Dad now. He can be incredibly stubborn and set in his own ways. I don`t want him to be lonely…"

"Sweetheart, you can be with someone and still feel lonely, you know that."

"I do," I sighed heavily, "I`ll call Leah later and ask how Sue is doing."

"OK," Edward said softly, "Come here," he added and I fell into his embrace.

"They were lovely together."

"They were. And I`m so very sorry it didn`t work out, Bella. But maybe this is for the best in the long run? You know, one door closes and another one opens?"

"I hope so, for both of them," I leaned into Edward, "Gosh, I was hoping for some cheer. I really need it now."

"I know, but let`s just hope for the best. That`s all we can do."

"You know, Leah and I would call each other sisters and Seth is like a little brother to me. I hope we can keep it that way now that our parents split up."

"Of course you can. You are all adults, you don't throw fits because `he said, she said`. Life has ways of working itself out. I`m sure Charlie doesn`t run if he sees Sue across the street."

"I hope he doesn`t, even though _I _totally do."

"Do what?"

"I walk away if I see my ex," I pouted my lips like a fussy child.

"OK," Edward chuckled quietly, "Do you wanna tell me about it?"

"Do you wanna hear it?"

"Yeah. It might prepare me for what would happen if we ever broke up, you know?" he tried a joke.

"Not funny," I complained.

"OK, OK. Tell me."

"Well, I met Martin in the first days of college and within weeks we were going out. I thought it was forever. At some point we moved in together, shared the bills and all that."

"Was that in Phoenix?"

"We studied in DC and then moved to Phoenix. He`s an accountant. After seven years one night at dinner he placed something in my hand, but it wasn`t a ring that I was expecting. It was the key to our apartment. He said it wasn`t working out, that he wasn`t a marrying kind. It broke my heart. I hadn`t been with anybody else in my life before. I felt so unwanted, unlovable, unworthy, all the typical garbage. I was twenty six and thought I would never get over it. For two years I didn`t even look at men."

"That`s understandable."

"I was scared of being hurt again, but then you can`t win if you don`t play the game, so eventually I got out of the house and started meeting people. Nobody interesting came along, but my heart was slowly healing."

"Good," he kissed my hair.

"And then one day I received a letter addressed to Martin. It was from social services and it was about child support that he had been avoiding paying. I reckoned the services made a mistake and it must have been about some other man with the same name, so I ignored it. Two months later another letter arrived and I called them to clarify that they got the wrong man and that the Martin that I knew had left the city two years previously. The officer apologized for the mistake and I forgot about it. A couple of weeks passed and I got yet another letter, so I made my way to the office personally and told them that I did not wish to receive any more mail from them and some poor child was missing out on support money because of their bureaucratic mess. So they sat me down and asked me about my Martin, his date and place of birth, parents` names and other personal details. There was no doubt we were talking about the same man. Someone found our old address and that`s why I was getting the letters."

"So, he had a kid with someone else then?"

"Yes. The boy was already two and a half years old; he was born a few months before Martin broke up with me. When the money issues arose, social services traced him to my address. Martin had been double-timing and fathered a son while he was still with me."

"Wow," Edward gasped.

"I learned later on that he met this other girl a little over a year before our break up. They hooked up and he rented a little flat to keep up the appearances. She fell pregnant within months and after the baby was born he broke up with her and me and moved out of Phoenix. That girl and I didn`t know about one another`s existence and we wouldn`t have to this day if not for the persistent social worker who started digging and unmasked Martin."

"He didn`t deserve either of you."

"He couldn`t take the pressure and just took off. It shows you how schemed it all was and what a deceitful man he turned out to be. At the beginning it hurt me all over again, but then I realized that it was my pride that was wounded more than my heart. I had been involved with a manipulative individual, but it didn`t make me unworthy of love and it certainly didn`t mean that I couldn`t have a family that I wanted more than anything. I think that was when I grew a harder skin. I had grown more independent and didn`t need anyone to make me happy. _I_ was the one making decisions in my life and if I was to be with someone it would be because I _wanted_, not _needed_ to."

"That`s the way it should be."

"Yeah, but then when I called myself `an independent woman who knows what she wants`, some others called me `a bitch`. You can`t win, but I wasn`t going to sell out."

"Happens all the time."

"I know; you just have to keep going, right?"

"Right! Alice calls it `tough shit`," he laughed.

"Ha, spot on!" I joined him, "I saw Martin a couple of years ago accidentally. He was in Phoenix on business and invited me for coffee. I, wishing to see how immune I was to him, said yes. I played my game well and we had a nice little chat, said goodbye and that was all. He was as charming as ever and when a few days later he called and asked to meet him again before he caught his flight, I agreed again. He had this huge smile on his face when he saw me and tried his trademark moves on me. When I felt his hand on mine I asked about his son. His face dropped, he had no idea I knew. Enough said, he left abruptly. The weird thing was, coincidentally one of my co-workers saw us both times; she was at the same café as us the first time, and then at the airport restaurant when Martin held my hand; she was going away with her husband. I explained at work that nothing was going on and left it. Anyway, I saw Martin again across the street some time later. I was pregnant at that stage and could literally feel the girls cringe inside me, so I crossed the street."

"Well done."

"Since we`re talking about it… When the girls were about ten months old I met Alex. He was my mother`s friend`s cousin`s whatever… son. Renee was desperately trying to hook me up with somebody. I know now that she just wanted me to enjoy myself as a woman and not only a mom and it was hard and busy with the twins. I wasn`t interested in a relationship and I wanted to show my mom that it wouldn`t make sense, so I agreed to meet the guy only once. We found each other attractive. He knew I was a single mother and he wasn`t exactly looking for a committed relationship either, so it made things easier. We just enjoyed each other`s company. Alex was on a contract and he was going home in a few months. Things went a little further than I had planned, but the woman in me was waking up… Anyway, he left and my life slipped back into its routine. Then one day I got a call from him. I told him that we`d said goodbye and our romance was over, I had my children to think about. In turn he told me that he was calling me _with_ my children in mind. I didn`t understand. He confessed that he wasn`t coming to town, he just suggested that I should get checked because he had chlamydia! Can you imagine that? I was so shocked and got so scared that I had caught something so disgusting, I thought the worst of myself in that moment. I made an appointment with a doctor straight away and although my results were clear, that experience changed me again. My level of trust went right down. I couldn't believe my stupidity and how I could have put my children in such danger. Not that they could have contracted some revolting STD from me, but I was their mom, I was supposed to be a responsible and reasonable parent and I was the _only_ parent they had at that. Alex got chlamydia from a woman he slept with after me. The only good thing was he promised me he wasn`t sleeping around while involved with me. So from my experience men meant heartbreak and STDs, not exactly something to get excited about. I even had an argument with my mom back then, I wanted someone to blame for my broken dreams. We had a heart to heart though and that was the time when I started thinking about moving away and being on my own with the kids."

"Is this why you asked me if I were healthy on our first night?"

"Yes."

"Alright," he nodded, "So, where did you live when the girls were born?"

"I was still in the same apartment. I wanted to move, but when I found out that I was having twins I gave up on searching for the time being. I decided it was just an apartment, just a place and I was going to make new memories there with my babies. It got tough going after they were born, I didn`t sleep for days in a row and it was difficult for my mom to commute all the time to come help me out. She and Phil came up with this idea that I should stay with them for a few months; at least until Rachel and Sophie fell into more manageable sleeping routine. I agreed, but kept my place. It was wonderful to have my mom helping me, but I missed my own space and when the girls were eight months old I moved back to the apartment, hired a nanny and got some editing jobs from Jack. I was working from home and found it hard to concentrate with the babies around. The nanny was great, but every little cry distracted me and I felt like a horrible mother working while one of my babies cried in the room next door. I told Jack I wanted to come to the office. Most book editors work from home and the ones from Newton Publishing do too, but some prefer coming to the office."

"Sets your brain in a different mode."

"Exactly. Jack owns one newspaper and three magazines and those editors are at their desks every day. Since the offices are there, some book editors work normal nine to five days at their desks instead of home."

"But you can do the same job at home, can`t you?"

"Yes, that`s why I`m so flexible and I can technically leave whenever I want to, as long as my job gets done. It`s slightly different with me here in Seattle because I run the whole section, so I need to hold meetings with other editors, illustrators, authors and so on. From June on I should be able to go part time as one of the ladies is coming back after maternity leave, it`ll give me more time to spend with my duckies."

"You are an incredible woman, baby. I am so proud of you and I admire how strong you are."

"Thank you, Edward, but that`s just life I suppose. You live and learn."

"Not everybody learns."

"I`m sorry I`m kind of cryptic sometimes, but I learned the hard way to be careful and now I don`t only have myself to protect, but two little girls as well."

"I know, love, I understand that."

"Thank you. So, you know my story. Is there anything I should know about you? Any women you run from?"

"No," he laughed, "You know about Lauren and Tanya, I think?"

"Yes, Alice told me about them both and you mentioned Lauren before."

"Sure. You don`t know about one girl in college though?" He threw me a questioning look.

"No."

"There was a case of a student being bullied by a professor at the university. I, along with a couple of other people stood up for that student and against the professor. It was a tough thing, because he didn`t exactly like me either. He had an issue with students from medical families and since my father was a doctor, I was automatically on the professor`s black list. But bullying was not on and although I was risking my own future career, I wasn`t going to tolerate it. It was a tough time and then right in the middle of it a girl I had dated for a while spread the news that she was pregnant and I was the baby`s father."

"Oh my god," I couldn`t help it coming out.

"I had a serious load of work, exams coming up and just wanted to concentrate on that, so I told her that I couldn`t see her anymore. She didn`t like it and decided to humiliate me. The news travelled in a matter of two days. Half of the campus was gossiping, I was trying to study, keep strong in the bullying situation and that piece of news hit me like a ton of bricks. My dad, although proud that I stood up for someone else, was worried about possible stigma I was putting on myself, so there was a mixture of emotions between us and I`d say in his heart he supported my choices fully, but in his mind he wavered a lot. On top of that someone kind informed him that he was about to become a grandfather! I didn't even get a chance to talk to him myself and I didn`t know what exactly he knew; he told me over the phone that he was coming to DC to see me and I had better have the guts to face him."

"Ouch."

"Yeah!" he chuckled, "I was twenty two and felt stupid and overwhelmed. I definitely wasn`t ready to be a father. Carlisle just asked me if I had used protection with that girl. I said I believed when she told me she was on the pill. I`ll never forget the look on my dad`s face; it wasn't even disappointment, it was just sadness, like he was blaming himself for not having brought me up better. And I had never been more angry with myself than then; I was going into a medical profession and had acted like a complete idiot."

One question burned my stomach, "What about the baby?"

"Oh, she had her baby, but not with me!"

"It wasn`t yours?"

"No. She was honest about being on the pill while with me though. When we broke up she went on a rebound and conceived with another student, but considered me a better father figure and since the dates between when she was with me and the new guy were so close she took a chance to get away with it. All of it happened at the same time as the bullying investigation was going on. That professor we were fighting to be let go tried a fire back campaign against me; it suited him ideally to point out what a dick I was, ruining my own and the girl`s career getting her pregnant and what a brat I was denying it afterwards, unable to take responsibility for my own actions and so on."

"Gosh, Edward, that must have been awful!"

"It was pretty tough, I admit. I knew I had made mistakes but I was willing to learn from them and I never claimed to be perfect. The bullying investigation ended in our favour, a couple more students confessed to having been mistreated and intimidated by that man. He lost his job, but before being fired he learned that it wasn't I who was going to be a father, but one of his favorite students, but it was _I_ who passed all the exams with the most points in that session."

"Amazing!" I said looking his in the eyes, "You are amazing, Edward Cullen and I love you," I finished with a kiss.

"Thank you. It taught me some valuable lessons. And I was much more careful with girls after the `almost daddy` experience. I wanted a family but not necessarily as a young, medical student."

"So then came Lauren?"

"Yes. A nice girl but too much into `the show`. She wanted a husband who would keep her financial and social status high. Always keep up with the Jones`s. She wanted to wrap me around her little finger the way she had done with her father. She could be the sweetest girl, but also opinionated and judgemental. My mom didn`t like her family and she thought Lauren`s mother was fake. Tanya on the other hand was a doctor, we worked together in Phoenix. Very intelligent, quick, smart. I was wrapped around her finger before I even had time to consider it. But the thing was she didn`t want a family and nothing or nobody was going to change that. She`s a very typical career woman and her job is her first and biggest love. Not for me. After I moved back to Seattle there was a girl in my life for a while, I suppose we had a similar thing going on to you and Alex, but then she met someone and it ended. And now all my prayers, even the unsaid ones have been answered," he smiled at me and rubbed my cheek with his thumb.

"At last."

"At last," he agreed between kisses.

"And there will be nobody else," I nipped his lower lip.

"Not a chance," he said capturing my mouth and making it impossible to speak anymore. We let our bodies speak for themselves.

I called Charlie every day until he told me he wasn't on a suicide watch and I should stop. I reckoned he was doing alright. I had Angela`s wedding coming up, the Whitlock baby was on the way and the possible Cullen boy was getting slightly stronger and better, so I made sure I stayed positive and grateful.

Thursday morning woke me up with sunshine and birds twittering on the trees outside the windows. Edward had a night shift and was still at work and I felt somewhat upbeat and positive.

I hopped out of bed, had breakfast with the girls and drove them to school. For some reason I couldn`t focus on work, as if I were missing out on something important.

_Did I put lunch into the children`s boxes? _

_Yes._

_Did I turn off the iron?_

_I did the ironing last night after Edward left for work, so we`re good._

_Was I supposed to call someone?_

_No, don't think so. Mike`s coming in a few days and I rang Jack and Dad and Angela… so, no._

_`I don`t know why… I… keep coming back to you, baby… lalala`_

_OK, OK, give Richard Marx a break._

_Maybe this is one of those weird dreams where you`re naked? Am I naked?_

_Nope. Covered pretty much from head to toe._

I kept swatting random thoughts away from my mind until my phone buzzed.

A text message from Jasper. _Uh oh._

My heart beat furiously when I waited for the message to open.

`Alice in labor. J.`

_See? I knew it, I knew it! I KNEW IT!_

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!"

"Bella?" one of my colleagues looked perplexed as I bolted out my office door.

"Guys, I gotta go. My sister… I mean Edward`s sister is in labor. She`s having her baby girl, oh my god, she`s having her baby girl!" I panted.

"OK, calm down or I won`t let you drive," the guy whose name I didn`t remember in that moment placed his hands on my shoulders and looked deeply into my eyes, "It isn`t _you_ who`s in labor, it`s your sister, so stop panting at least until you get to the hospital, alright? You wanna get there alive, right?"

"What?" _Who is this guy and what is he talking about? Alive? What? Alive. Life. Baby. Alice`s baby!_

"Calm down."

"OK," I puffed a few times.

"Alright?" The guy let go of my shoulders slowly, watching me.

"Alright," I laughed, "Thanks, Greyson. I`m just so excited."

After the longest approximately two minutes and eight seconds I was finally allowed to leave the building. I raced into my car and phoned Kate to ask her to stay with my girls a little longer if necessary. It was only half past nine in the morning, but I didn`t know how long it was going to take Alice to squeeze this one out, God love her.

It looked like the Cullens took over the entire waiting area. A few steps behind me came a couple who was introduced to me as Jasper`s parents. Mr Greg Whitlock is a handsome, tall, dark haired man, but his son looks very much like his mom Jean; they both have lovely blue eyes, light brown wavy hair and absolutely stunning smiles. The grandparents greeted each other very warmly and I was engulfed in the Whitlock family as much as I had already been in the Cullens; both Jean and Greg hugged me like I was their own daughter. The excitement was growing by the minute. Rose and I sat down on a couch together and chatted while pretending to have interest in some magazines. I read the same line in one of them about twenty times and still didn`t know what it was about. Emmett laughed at my frustration and said that he felt the same way, as if the magazines were written in some foreign language. We all gave up on them. We drank coffee, talked, laughed and waited… And waited. Edward made it from his ward an hour later. He said hello to his family and kissed me on the forehead.

"You look a little tired," I said.

"I`m fine; just operated on a three-month-old baby," he whispered to me.

"Oh!" I opened my eyes widely.

"He was born with a cleft. He`ll be OK though."

"Alright," I smiled, "I know it`s your job, but I have to say I`m so proud of you. You`ve just changed a little person`s life for the better and you came here as if nothing happened."

"Thank you, baby."

We walked around the corridors and waited some more. When a doctor came out of the ward he said hi to Edward and told us that Jasper was doing well and Alice even better. We laughed. Waiting was all we could do. It was amazing seeing the whole family waiting for that little angel and cheering and praying for her and her mommy and daddy. Her big brother was at school, completely unaware of his life changing minute by minute. When my children were born, I had my mom with me in the delivery room, that`s all. Even my mom`s husband was away at that time. And in the middle of it all I was told that I needed an emergency C-section and Renee had to leave the room… But not to worry, my girls are thriving and now Alice was going to have her sweet bundle as well.

We were told that it could take even till late in the night. We said we knew and waited. Everybody wanted to be one of the first to hear the news, to catch a glimpse of the new life or at least her daddy`s flustered face as he announced her safe arrival. I knew I would never forget Jasper`s face when he would finally emerge from behind the wooden swing door.

At a quarter past twelve Carlisle offered to get us all some lunch. As he spoke, his words became blurry and other sounds strengthened. The steps behind the magic door got louder and our eyes all left Carlisle and moved towards the `thump, thump, thump`. And then I saw it, a tired, red and wet from bucketfuls of tears face of a new Dad. I swear I fell in love with Jasper in that moment. There were no words to describe the elation and gratitude on his features. We all jumped up from our seats.

Jasper acknowledged us all with a quick smile. We opened our mouths when he proceeded with a rasp in his voice.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Charlotte Jean Whitlock has arrived."

Beside me, Mrs Whitlock gasped and Esme rubbed her arm with a smile. I bet she knew the little one was going to be named after her dad`s mom.

"She`s ten minutes old and is a twenty inches, six pounds two ounces bundle of happiness. She`s the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen, no offense to anyone with daughters," he winked at me, "And her mommy proved once more that I would be nothing without her; she was terrific."

We `ooh-ed` and `aah-ed` and `aw-ed` and hugged Jasper. The family got bigger, the Cullens and Whitlocks connected by another being.

"Charlotte`s being washed and fed now," Daddy said, "Do you want to get something to eat and come back to see her in a while? Oh, and could somebody please collect Hugo from school? I don`t think I`ll be able to do it now. And he`s gonna miss swimming this evening…"

"I`m on it, son, I`m on it!" Greg laughed.

I thought I would let the relatives pay their visits first and come back the next day, but Edward was finished for the day and suggested that we pick up the girls from school together and come back later with them in tow. I rang Kate again and told her about the new plan. Edward and I had lunch with Rose and Emmett and then we drove to school to pick up the duckies.

There was a different teacher in the classroom and because she was familiar with my face only, she took Edward for the girls` father. I didn`t correct her.

"Hello, Maya," I greeted her and Edward nodded politely.

"Hello," she cheered, "Rachel, Sophie, your mommy and daddy are here for you!" she sang to the corner where a few children were looking at picture books after lunch.

"Lynne is out today and I`m staying with Emma and the children. Emma is on her lunch break at the moment."

"That`s OK, Maya. We`re early today; we`ve had an unusual morning…" I stopped at that as the girls noticed us and came running towards Edward and I.

"My sister`s just had a baby, less than two hours ago," Edward finished the explanation excited, with Rachel in his arms at that stage.

"That`s wonderful, congratulations!" the teacher smiled broadly, "You have a baby cousin, girls, how exciting is that?" she cheered to Sophie and Rachel. The kids looked at me confused.

"Auntie Alice had her baby girl," I mused holding Sophie. Her eyes opened wide.

We waved goodbye to the rest of the children and got into the car.

"What`s the baby`s name, Mommy?"

"Her name is Charlotte Jean, but we`ll probably just call her Charlotte. It`s a beautiful name for a little girl."

"Why?" Sophie asked.

"Why is she called Charlotte?"

"No," my daughter shook her head, "The other one, Mommy."

"The other name? Jean?"

"Yes."

"Well, her mommy and daddy chose the name Charlotte for her and then Jean is her grandma`s name, so she`s called Charlotte Jean Whitlock, just like you are called Sophie Helen Swan and Rachel Marie Swan. Your names Helen and Marie are after Mommy`s both Grandmas; Grandma Renee`s mommy`s name was Marie and Grandpa Charlie`s mommy`s name was Helen."

"Oh!" Sophie let out. Edward smiled beside me; he had been listening.

"Would you like to see the baby later, girls?"

"Yes, yes!" Rachel clapped her hands.

"Is she in the _hopistal?_" Sophie inquired Edward.

"Yes, darling, she is," he answered chuckling at the `hopistal`.

"Why?" Came from behind us again.

Edward was patient, "Why is she in the hospital? Because she was just born today and the doctors were checking if she was OK. She`s staying there resting with her mommy and daddy."

"You stayed with Mommy in the hospital after you were born as well, girls," I tried to help out.

"And my daddy too?" Sophie threw at us.

_Oh, shoot._

"Edward, were you at work when I was a baby?" That was Rachel, paradoxically suggesting an easy answer to him.

"I was probably at work, yes."

"Did you have to give medicine to people?" Sophie added.

"Yes Sophie, I did."

"OK," the children stated in unison.

I glanced at Edward and he winked at me reassuringly.

_Wait, what has just happened here? Do they take Edward for their dad? It certainly sounded like it, didn`t it? Oh, bless their almost-three-year-old minds. God only knows how much I wish it were true…_

We came home for a couple of hours and the girls and I wrapped the gift that we had for Hugo. His life was changing and his baby sister was going to take the central stage for a while, so we wanted to let him know that he was still super important. I bought him a set of three jigsaws, showing stages of human pregnancy and then body parts of a girl and a boy.

"Look, we have things for Hugo," Rachel showed the jigsaws to Edward.

"Wow!" Edward`s eyes popped wide open and then he turned to me, "Bella, this is great, thank you for being so thoughtful. I have to say it didn`t cross my mind to get him something."

"It`s OK," I said, "They`re from all four of us, so there, no worries," I pecked him on the lips, "You have the toy for the baby?"

"Yes. I`ve kept it at the hospital, I`ll pick it up before seeing Alice."

At half past four, after scrubbing our hands extra hard we rushed to see the little princess. I was curious how my girls would react to Charlotte and to Alice`s flat stomach. Their school friends Alec and Jane welcomed a baby brother Lucas a few weeks earlier and my young ones had been pestering me for their own sibling ever since. I told them that first we had to take care of Alice`s baby, so they couldn`t wait till she came.

"Hello everybody," Alice greeted us from her bed, with a wide smile.

"Hi!" I said from the door, holding Rachel, "May we, for a few minutes?"

"Of course you may, get in here, all of you!" She motioned to come closer, "The boys have gone to get some snacks, it`s just us girls for a while," she smiled that glowing smile.

"I can`t believe you have your baby, I`m so happy for you!" I squeaked and set my daughter down to squeeze my friend. Edward followed suit. He exchanged sweet smiles and pecks with his sister and then we all turned to the crib beside Alice`s bed.

"Would you like to see Charlotte, girls?" She directed the question at Rachel and Sophie.

They nodded, but said nothing. I told them that we would need to be quiet not to scare the baby, but their utter silence surprised me. Seconds later though I understood why.

In the crib slept a tiny person. She had a button nose, pouty pink lips, round cheeks and she was mesmerizing.

"Oh my, I love her," I couldn`t stop myself, "I love her, I can babysit her anytime. Look at her, she`s pure perfection."

"Mommy, can I touch the baby?" Rachel broke the silence.

I got a nod from Alice and watched my daughter`s plump fingers run gently through Charlotte`s soft light hair.

"Is she sleeping?"

"Yes, Rachel. Babies sleep a lot," I explained.

"Why?" _How did I know the `why` was coming?!_

"Because that`s when they grow. Babies are small and their bodies need plenty of rest."

"Oh."

Edward rustled the paper bag behind me and let Sophie take out the toy for Charlotte. She placed it in the crib beside the baby and touched her hands. It`s funny how I think my children have cute weeny hands and then a newborn comes along and suddenly my girls` hands look so large comparing to hers! I caught Edward`s expression as he watched his niece. His eyes were filled with moisture.

"Alice, she is… magic, just… magic," he said, "and you did an amazing job bringing her into the world."

"Thank you," the new mom answered.

I reached out and touched Charlotte`s fingers. She opened them and closed involuntarily.

Just then the door opened and in came Hugo and Jasper. We hugged and congratulated Jasper again and made a big deal out of Hugo becoming a big brother. Rachel gave him the package from us. He looked so surprised to be receiving a gift that his hands were shaking when ripping the paper open. He was thrilled with the jigsaws and set to taking them apart and putting them together right away.

Charlotte moved in the crib and I wiped a tear from my eye hearing her voice for the first time. She yawned sleepily and whimpered like newborns do. Jasper took her out, gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead and passed her over to Alice. We all watched entranced as the baby latched onto her mommy`s breast.

"Is she drinking her mommy`s milky?" Rachel said quietly, settled against Edward`s chest together with her sister.

"Yes she is, love," I responded in the same next-to-whisper volume of my voice, "She will drink mommy`s milk until her teeth grow and she can bite and eat other foods."

"I _drinked_ my mommy`s milk when I was a baby," she informed everyone with a nod. Edward kissed her hair with a smile, though his eyes were still glassy.

"You did; both you and Sophie did," I chuckled at the memory, "It was quite funny actually, having you both glued to me at the same time."

"I can imagine that!" Alice laughed and I saw Jasper smiling under his nose. If not for the children, I would have told him to stop imagining me with my boobs out, but I opted for leaving it for the time being ; -)

After Miss Whitlock was fed, her mommy motioned to Uncle Edward to hold his niece. I took some photos and then got to hold the little one myself. Oh my god, that feeling! The few pounds that she weighed felt like a handful of feathers in my arms, she was all new and fresh and I didn`t want to let go of her.

We stayed for another while and then left the four Whitlocks in the hospital. I was hoping for a nice cuddly night with Edward and falling asleep in his embrace, but he got called to an emergency and I ended up tossing and turning just like I have lately every time I found myself in bed alone. I missed him terribly.

Finding it tricky to fall into slumber I let my mind recall the day… I fell for Edward all over again when he held little Charlotte and rubbed her tiniest hand with his thumb. He called her magic and had tears in his eyes. And then moments later he held my daughters` hands and looked at them with the same emotion and feeling, as if they were his own flesh and blood. He cooked dinner while I gave the girls a bath and then he read them a story as I cleaned up the dishes. He came back downstairs where I was in the kitchen, held me from behind and swayed me gently, sensually kissing my shoulders and running his hands up and down my arms, knowing that it made me weak in my knees. Bad luck he got the call from the hospital and our playing happy families got interrupted. Bad luck for me of course, as the patient Edward had gone to tend to was in the best of hands.

I love the cosy feeling I have around him. I admired Jasper for being such a confident man in such a subtle manner, but now I realize that Edward is exactly the same. He is so secure in his masculinity that admitting to being scared or moved and shedding a few tears while holding a new baby doesn`t take an ounce away from his pride. He knows who he is. Showing sensitivity is his choice and comes from his strength, not weakness. That`s why I feel so safe and secure with him, that`s why I can be myself around him. It`s because Edward is real; there`s no game, no cockiness, no façade.

Obviously we wouldn`t go for it now, there`s still so much we need to learn about each other, but he is definitely the type of a man I always wanted to spend my life and have a family with. Scratch that, he is THE man.

**A/N: to imabwrighter – I hope you like Charlotte`s middle name ; -) **

**All the name suggestions were lovely, thank you! I decided that the most just way to choose would be to take the name that was recommended first. **

**The Richard Marx song mentioned in the chapter is the good old "Keep coming back". **

**To my beta bethroann – big hugs to you, my darling! You know who you are : -)**

**Now, before you run off to see the new pictures in the album (Charlotte`s there!), please leave a review **

**: -) **


	22. Chapter 22

**Pics in the album : -)**

**Chapter 22 BPOV**

**BUBBLES, NUDGERS AND BRAVE LITTLE MEN**

"Oops, Rach, what happened to your baby?" Edward said as my girl walked past him with her toy.

"Huh?"

"Her diaper`s falling down. It`s gonna be smelly if she has a poop in there, don`t you think?" he smiled and pinched his nose for effect.

Rachel got his joke straight away, "Uh oh, I have to change her again!"

I stifled a laugh and shook my head as my daughter came over to ask for help. A minute later the doll was ready for a walk in her stroller, according to her mommy Rachel. Edward winked at her and they slapped "high fives" with their hands.

The doorbell rang and I rushed to open it.

"Mike, hi!" I exclaimed seeing the blond mane I knew so well, "At long last!"

"Oh my god, look at you, you look amazing!" He welcomed me and hugged me tightly.

I led him to the living room where Edward sat with the children.

"Edward, this is Mike Newton, Mike, this is Edward Cullen. Rachel, Sophie, do you remember Mike?"

"Bella, you must be kidding me," Mike said looking at the duckies, "Your daughters are small. These ladies can`t be your Rachel and Sophie Swan!" he joked.

The girls giggled and protested from the safe place, leaning into Edward.

"You know," Mike frowned, "I found some hairclips and necklaces in my bag this morning, but I`m a man and I don`t use hairclips. Do you know any young girls who would like them? Or maybe I`ll just give them to you, Bella?" he looked up at me winking and waiting for the reaction from the twins.

He didn`t have to wait long! The new trinkets adorned my children`s necks and hair no more than a minute later.

I was glad to see Edward relaxed around Mike, unlike on Riley`s first visit. The godfathers were explained and now we were all going to Riley and Maria`s house for dinner.

The three gentlemen talked like they had known each other for years. Of course Mike and Riley _have_ known each other for years, but with Riley`s living in Spain for two years, they had a lot of catching up to do and Edward fell right into their category of easy going, smart, funny guys. He looked comfortable and enjoyed himself.

My only concern was the girls. We met Carmen, Maria and Riley`s almost-seven-month-old baby and I was just waiting for Rachel and Sophie to demand a little one from me again. Thank goodness, despite the cutie that stole our hearts with her smiles and baby gurgles, nothing like that happened. The duckies informed Maria and Riley that Alice had had her baby girl too but they held back from sharing their desire for a sibling. Hallelujah!

We played and chatted and laughed. Maria showed me around the house and I loved it. Their house was identical to mine and it was fun to see how differently it was furnished. She told me that she liked Edward a lot and wanted to have him as her neighbor, period. _Food for thought…_

Then I managed to catch Mike alone in the kitchen as he finished a phone call.

"Hi," I said and stood beside him against the counter.

"Hi."

"Everything OK?"

"Yeah, that was my mom. She was asking what time I`d be in Forks on Saturday. My sister`s also coming over. Anyway, you look very happy, Bella, I`m glad things are going the way you wanted."

"Thanks," I sighed, "How is he? Truth and truth only."

"He`s good," Mike said, nodding, "The doctors are happy and he`s relaxed."

"OK. Are we still meeting for lunch tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure. One p.m.?"

"Uhm."

"It`s good to see you, Mike," I said and he crawled his hand over mine to squeeze it.

"You too, Bella," he winked, "The girls are fantastic and Edward… I always imagined you with a guy like him, you know? He`s good."

"He`s _very_ good, Mike, thank you. Tell me, how is Jess?"

"Brilliant. I`m planning on asking her a certain question soon…"

"You devil! Made her wait long enough!"

"Made _her_ wait?!" he raised his brows, "Bella, I have asked her more times than I can count and I have a degree in management and _finances_. I`m good with numbers!"

"Oh, I didn`t know that, sorry!"

"Just kidding! Well, I have asked twice before, or mentioned that we could maybe… one day… you know."

"Mike, entertaining the idea and actually proposing are two different things! Just ask her and get hitched for Pete`s sake! This girl has been crazy about you since high school!"

"That`s why I`m here, Bella! My mother wants to give me her ring to propose with."

"Oh my god, you`re more romantic than I ever thought! That`s an excellent idea, Jessica will love it! Go for it, absolutely!"

"Thanks."

"Ah, there you two are!" Edward found us, "Rachel says she`s tired. I`ll bring the girls home to bed and you can stay -" he said to me.

"No, no, I`ll come with you!" I checked my watch, "Ten past eight?! Gosh, no wonder they`re tired; I didn`t realize it was so late!"

We took a last glance at Carmen dressed in fresh baby pjs and holding her bottle of milk, said goodnight to everyone and came back home.

"That was a nice evening," I said as I made sure Sophie and Rachel were asleep and sat on the couch next to Edward.

"I enjoyed it. You were right, Maria is gorgeous. And so is the little one, Carmen."

"Isn`t she sweet?! I love bouncy babbas. I only saw her photos before and thought she was cute, but she`s even better in real life. A very happy young person with great looks after her mommy. Charlotte will be so big and bouncy in no time too."

"She will. It`s hard t believe that she`s a week old already! And if Rose and Emmett get their boy, it`ll be like a baby boom here."

"Do you think they will?"

"It`s hard to tell. I talked to Gary Hobson. He said he`d look after the boy in his ward, but the child`s too weak to be transferred to our hospital. He`s in great hands though where he is and there`s nothing that we could have done better for him. He has the coarctation of the Aorta, which means that his Aorta is narrowed. It`s not that uncommon in newborns and usually it`s operated on quickly, but in this little boy`s case there are more issues. He was born premature, small and weak. His lungs may not have been able to take it now. We have to wait for him to gain a bit of weight and for his lungs to get stronger."

"And what then?"

"Then he`ll most probably have a balloon dilation."

"What does it mean? In English, please?"

"A small balloon will be inserted in a valve in his leg and wired to the Aorta. Then with the air pumped into the balloon it will open the narrowed area of the Aorta and improve the blood flow."

"I`ve heard of that procedure but not in infants."

"It`s common for infants in that condition. Otherwise there is danger of enlargement of the heart which can lead to a whole new `galore` of issues-"

"Which I don`t even want to know about, thank you. That poor sweetie, he`s been through hell already, he deserves a chance."

"He does. The problem is he`s barely gained any weight since he was born."

"And that's not good," I contemplated aloud.

"No. But it ain`t over till it`s over. I`ve seen things that people would take as miracles, Bella."

"OK, let`s not worry now, because there`s nothing to worry about, right?"

"Right. I`d rather spend that precious time enjoying the present than worrying about what might never happen," he kissed me on the nose.

"I agree," I smiled, "So, what did you think of Mike?"

"Ah, yeah, he`s cool, I like him."

"Great. He told me he`s going to propose to Jessica, after all those years. His mom insisted on giving him her own ring; isn`t that romantic?"

"I don`t know," Edward admitted, "is it? I mean, I don`t know what girls see as romantic sometimes."

"Well, yes, I know some women want the latest Tiffany or Cartier, but some prefer sentimental value over money one."

"So, what is it for you, Tiffany or Cartier?" he asked with a twinkle in his eye.

I looked up at him, "You could give me a plastic ring ad I would be the happiest… oh my god, Edward, don`t, you didn`t just ask me that…"

"Bella, I`m not proposing, I just wanna know what you like, that`s all," he defended himself.

"I like _you_! I love you. And about the big M word, let`s just say I`ve wanted it for years and I still do. I wanted to be a wife and a mom. It looks like I`m doing things backwards, but I still believe that the order doesn`t matter here and marriage is still on the cards for me, somewhere along the way."

He didn`t let me say another word. His lips captured mine and my body moulded into his.

"You like that idea though, do you?" I dared to ask against his mouth.

"Of making you mine, forever? Fuck, yeah!"

"And then you would be the only one in the family left to become a dad…"

"A dad?" he repeated.

_Oh god, what have I done?_

"I`m not pregnant, Edward, but I`m not a fool; I can see how you look at Charlotte and even at Carmen tonight… What I`m trying to say is, I like seeing you with children. I think you`re amazing with them and one day you might want to be in a delivery room, watching your baby entering the world…," I drifted.

He ran a finger down my cheek, "I would love that. I would love to be there and hear my baby`s first cry and see them for the first time, still wet and wrinkly and perfect, but…"

"But?"

"But it would only make sense if you were there, too."

"If I were the mom?"

"Uhm."

"You`ve got it."

"Pardon?"

"You`ve got it! Not right now, because I -"

"Bella, are you serious?"

"Let`s go upstairs and I`ll show you how serious I am…" I bit my lip. Boy, was I in the mood!

I was just about to pull him into the shower with me, but Rachel woke up with a cough and she found it tricky to go back to sleep. I motioned to Edward to take a shower first and tended to my baby. I gave her some syrup and stayed with her for a couple of minutes till she dozed off again. Then Edward suggested that I went to the bathroom while he kept watch on the girls.

Minutes later I came out with a large towel wrapped over my chest.

I popped into the duckies` bedroom, pecked them both on the foreheads and whispered that Mommy would appreciate it greatly if she they slept through her private time with Edward. Then I went back to my bedroom and closed the door. Edward sat in an arm chair, in his boxer shorts only. I _had _to have him.

"You`re a picture of perfection, baby," he said dazzling me. The towel was close to falling off of me by itself.

"?"

"I`m not sure where you`re going with this, but shit, I`m getting hard, really hard and the smell of your shampoo goes right into my boxer shorts."

_Oh, flip it._

My eyes fell on the area he`d mentioned.

"Mmmm, that`s mine," I murmured and cupped him. He let out a loud, painful groan and I looked at him lustfully.

"Damn it Bella, I need you now."

I stood over him, placing one hand on his shoulder and the other behind him on the head rest, and let the towel go.

He smiled at the sight of `perkies` inches from his mouth and proceeded to squeeze them one by one and swirl his tongue lazily around the hardened nubs. I let him know I enjoyed it by sneaking my hand in his hair and pressing him to my flesh.

"There`s another nub that would love some attention, honey…"

Edward pulled me closer, snaked one arm between us and was right on target. He barely reached my folds and already knew how ready I was, my whole private area was _very _wet. He moaned and I reciprocated when he touched my core.

My bundle of nerves on top was hard and sensitive. Not wanting to ignore any precious part he put his whole palm over the entire area and started circling it and spreading the juices even more. I pulled my face away from his and looked down at his hand. Moaning and sighing I began rotating my hips to meet is palm. My breasts moved up and down slowly and Edward`s eyes followed them entranced. I was getting bothered, my breathing picked up. I looked up at Edward. Our eyes met and he knew I was close. The mere sight of his erection rushed blood through my veins and wetness onto his hand. I didn`t last long. My body tensed and I bucked my hips into Edward`s palm in spasms of orgasm. I slammed my forehead to his and moaned loudly and repeatedly right into his face. I was in heaven and he was right there with me.

"Edward…" I managed to whisper a while later when my breathing evened a little bit, but with my heart pounding in my chest still.

Through my heavy lidded eyes I looked down. His cock was standing tall. Little Eddie was game.

"That was so good, love," I breathed out loudly, "I`ve done it myself before but it`s never like that."

"You`ve done it yourself? Fuck, I want to see it! I have to see you pleasuring herself, Bella and soon!"

"But now that you`re here…"

"Not passing, love, no worries. I love you," he kissed me hard on the lips, "I adore you," another kiss on the neck, "And I need you, I want you. I gotta have you now. You`re ready?"

I smiled and we both stood up. Immediately I positioned myself in front of Edward, my back to his chest. I turned my head over my shoulder and searched his eyes.

He kissed the top of my head before whispering into my ear, "From behind?"

I nodded.

"You`re sure?"

I nodded again.

"Oh, what a beautiful way to agonize…" he murmured to himself.

I giggled.

"Sorry, I didn`t mean to say it out loud."

"Don`t you sorry me now, Cullen."

I turned over my shoulder again. Edward licked the back of my neck and claimed my lips while running a hand up and down my spine. I trembled with anticipation.

"This better be good," I warned him and he growled appreciatively.

"Oh, the pressure!" He joked into my ear and poked my bottom with his member, "It`s all up to you my friend. How about we make this wet little pussy squeal with joy, huh? Fuck, I`m talking to my cock. I`m so screwed."

I laughed.

He whispered `I love you`. I bent down grasping both sides of the armchair with my hands. Edward stood closely behind me and guided himself into me. The gates of my walls welcomed him inch by inch until he was inside completely. We both groaned at the new sensation. He started moving slowly and when he put his hands around my hips, I threw my head up.

"God, Edward, this is heaven."

Amongst our moans and groans he moved faster. I was losing myself once more. My bum kept bucking up to meet him so he could hit the sensitive spots. And he did, repeatedly, until my walls closed around him and he came undone, spilling inside me.

He placed one hand on the armchair on top of mine and leaning down embraced me from behind with his other arm. He held me closely like that for a moment, kissing my shoulders.

"Are you OK, baby?"

"Better than OK. That was unbelievable, Edward. Thank you."

"I wasn`t sure you would like to go all `doggie` or if you were ready to try."

"With you, yes. It`s because I know I`m safe with you, Edward. You always make sure I`m OK with whatever we do. It makes me feel closer to you."

"I love you so much, Bella."

"I love you, too."

"Speaking of babies," I said later as we snuggled under the covers, "I love being a mom and it would be a dream come true to have a family with you, Edward. I feel like you, the girls and I are a family anyway, so it would be just adding to it…"

He smiled silently, "Having you and the girls in my life has been the best experience imaginable, Bella. With Rachel and Sophie it`s like I`m a dad already. I couldn`t have felt like they`re mine any more than I already do. Another baby would have been incredible, because I could be there when you`re pregnant, from the start."

"Honey, believe me, you couldn't have been more of a daddy to Sophie and Rachel than you are right now. And I`m so happy that you feel this way. I would love to sport that expectant mother glow again sometime… We`ll talk about it all again soon, OK?" I neared my lips to his again, overcome with emotion.

"As soon as I get it out of you whether you`re a Tiffany or Cartier lover," he smirked.

"I am not some Tiffany`s or Cartier`s lover, don`t know them, not interested. I am Edward Cullen`s lover and only his!" I frowned, "And when it comes to rings, I told you, it doesn't matter to me at all. It can be plastic, as long as it comes from you. When the time is right…"

He smiled a funny smile. Hmm…

My dreams were filled with babies, lots of babies everywhere, like I were some bunny momma…

I had my meetings in the morning at work and after lunch popped over to see Alice. Or Charlotte. OK, both of them, but I was secretly hoping that the little one wouldn`t be sleeping and I`d get to hold her.

"Well, well, well, look at you two!" I smiled broadly when Alice opened the door with Charlotte in her arms. She was awake, yay!

"Hi Auntie Bella," Alice sang.

"How are you settling in?"

"We`re great! Mommy and Daddy don`t know what sleep is at the moment, but Charlotte is doing great."

"Did Daddy recover alright after the night of drinking with Uncles Edward and Emmett?" I smirked.

Alice rolled her eyes, "He said that whoever invented the tradition of heavy drinking after a baby is born should be shot. He was holding exams at the uni the next day and felt like `es aich I tee`, enough said," she spelled out placing her daughter in my arms and putting on the kettle, "How was Edward afterwards?"

"I quote `never again`. And he asked me if I could please whisper to him, because my normal voice was too loud for him!"

"So what did you do?"

"What do you think?! I told the girls to sing all the songs they knew to him!" I laughed, "No, I`m kidding; I was soft and gentle, but he knew the kids wouldn`t be that considerate for long."

"Oh god, it`s pathetic how they behave sometimes, but just you wait till you two have a little one together; Edward won`t sober up for a week!"

"No, no, no, my darling sister, he`ll be changing diapers the day the baby is born! Or maybe the next day…," I thought to myself, "OK, I`ll let him let loose for one night, with Jasper and Em, but that`s it; no more sh- I mean, `es aich I tee`!," I finished my rant, proud that I had avoided cursing in front of Charlotte.

Alice just smiled her knowing smile, "Well, I`m glad you two are talking about it."

Then I got it, "I was only speaking theoretically."

"Yeah…" she raised her brows and chuckled to herself, "You sound like you have it sorted though, _theoretically_, of course!"

I shook my head and laughed, "Yeah, theoretically…" I said quietly.

"But seriously Bella, would you like more children or you`re done?"

"I thought I was done. And then your brother came along…" I smiled, "And I know he would love to be a father."

"I know. And you? Do you feel you would like to carry a baby again?"

"I do."

Alice gave me a quick smile and put the teapot along with the sweet goodies I had brought with me on the table.

"I find it so calming and soothing with a baby in my arms," I looked down at Charlotte.

"Me too. And whenever you and Edward decide, I will be thrilled for you to have your bundle of joy. And this is not because I don`t consider Sophie and Rachel his. You know what I believe regarding parenthood; it`s the heart not the biology. It`ll be just fun to watch my brother go all pregnancy frenzy."

"Thank you, Alice. We talked about it the other day actually."

"Good."

"All in due time," I winked at her, "Did I tell you I love your daughter`s name?"

"Aw, thanks! We decided at the beginning that her middle name would be after Jasper`s mom, but the first one was between Charlotte and Scarlett. I was leaning more towards Scarlett and Jasper towards Charlotte. We agreed that Hugo`s decision would be final and he said Charlotte. So, fair enough, it`s Charlotte."

"Wonderful! How is he doing as a big brother?"

"He`s brilliant, really. And he`s six now, he has his buddies and his own life. You`re coming to his birthday party on Saturday by the way, are you?"

"Of course we are! Oh, someone`s hungry here," I noticed Charlotte squirming in my embrace and passed her to Mommy.

"Brilliant! My parents are so good organizing it, I wouldn`t have been able to do it now."

"Come on, nobody`s expecting you to throw parties, you`ve just had a baby."

"I know. But Hugo`s been so good with the whole baby thing, I don`t want him to feel that his birthday is unimportant because of Charlotte. You know it`s funny, but often it feels like there are three of us adults here with Charlotte and not two adults with two children," she giggled looking at her daughter who was sucking greedily on Mom`s breast.

"Hugo is a star, Alice! I find him incredibly mature for his age, without any of the typical young `boyishness` missing."

"Thank you, Bella. It`s all down to his daddy I have to say."

"Not only! I think Hugo is a superb combination of you two; he has his dad`s love for academia and your natural joyfulness and positivity."

"You`re too good. They have the best father, these two. You should see Jasper with a guitar, singing an upbeat version of `Over the rainbow` to Charlotte. If I wasn`t already head over heals in love with him, I would have fallen fast and hard in no time. Hugo loved it as a baby when Daddy played and now it looks like Bubble likes it too," she mused to the little one.

"Bubble?"

"Yes," Alice smiled, "She blows bubbles when she sleeps so Jasper nicknamed her Bubble."

"I called mine two `nudgers`, but I`ve noticed Charlotte`s bubbles! `Bubble` was my girls` second word, would you believe? They loved baths and shouted `_bo, bo_!` pointing at the soapy foam. As they grew bigger it became `_bobbish` _and then eventually `_bubbles`_. Their first word was `dada`, then `bo` or `bobbish` and then they identified _me._ It sounded more like French `Maman` rather than good old English `momma` or `mamma`. They both had the same pronunciation though."

"Do you think they ever had this secret language that some twins have?"

"There were times when they would grunt and grumble, without looking at one another and suddenly they would start doing the same thing, reach out for toys or crawl. But when they began speaking I was determined to have them talking properly at least to other people, so if they mumbled something to me I pretended I didn`t understand until they tried to say it correctly."

"When did they start speaking?"

"Those first syllables came when they were about a year old and then gradually a new word every week or two. At about eighteen months they got absolutely fascinated with language and tried to pronounce everything they heard; Rachel became `Chichi`, Sophie was `Fifi`, there were `Iggy` and `Mooky`. I know they`re really good at speaking but I love the little mistakes they make, like Sophie`s `_hopistal` _and Rachel`s `_hopsital`._ They can`t get this one right."

"What if you start the word yourself, hossssss…"

"I tried. It ends up as `_hostipal_` so I left it for the time being."

Alice laughed, "I loved it when they asked Emmett for `_rabzies`_ instead of strawberries with their icecream at the opening of ECLIPSE."

"And the seriousness on their faces! Edward laughs that I should write them all down."

"Good idea! It was the opposite with Hugo. He was two and a half and had only a couple of words in his vocabulary. We were in London then and I brought him to the doctor. I was told that his hearing was perfect, his understanding was perfect, his general knowledge for his age was flying off the scales; he pointed at the right pictures when asked and he understood the concepts of colors, sizes, opposites, people`s emotions and things like that. He loved listening to stories and would watch your lips intently, but didn`t try new words besides `mummy`, `daddy`, `go`, `no` and `doggie`. He could say `no`, but for `yes` he would only nod, which I found very interesting. The speech therapist I went to with him said there was nothing wrong with him and he would start speaking when he was ready. She suggested that I encouraged Hugo to tell me what he wanted instead of guessing and doing things for him. It was so hard and he was so frustrated and sad that it made me cry in front of him a few times and Jasper told me to stop and relax. He said I should just forget about it. We had a wonderful, intelligent and compassionate little boy and he would speak when he wanted to. We had `a heated exchange` then," Alice stressed the words before continuing, "A few months later we moved to Seattle and still, Hugo just practised his five or maybe ten word vocabulary at that time. I took a deep breath every time I was about to beg him to say more. I didn`t want to get into another argument with Jasper about it, so quietly I decided to settle in Seattle and talk to Dad; maybe he knew a specialist that would help us. And then at Christmas before Hugo turned three we were sitting at the table at my parents` house with all four grandparents and Edward, when Hugo ripped open the paper on his present to find a train set. He looked at Jasper and called `Daddy, Daddy, look, a choo choo train!` I didn't even have to look at Daddy; the way he calmly got off his chair and sat beside his son to play with the toy spoke for itself. Silly Mommy was wrong all along."

"Oh, Alice, you were just worried and wanted the best for your child, I`m sure Jasper didn`t mean to ridicule you!"

"God, no, but I sure felt like a fool! By the end of that breakfast Hugo told Edward that `choo choo train goes fast` and left us all in awe."

"Bet you it was the best Christmas gift for you!"

"It was! When we went home and put Hugo to bed Jasper hugged me tightly and said `He speaks, Ali, he speaks, I knew he could do it!`. It was so good to know that he had been worried all along as well, but refused to panic. It was good because that`s exactly what would have happened if he had admitted to it months earlier; I would have gone crazy with doctors and therapists and my poor baby boy would have gotten frustrated and foregone speaking altogether! But what we found the most fascinating was when Hugo _did_ start speaking; he spoke with British accent and used words that he had heard months earlier in London! He wanted to wear `trousers` and not `pants` and outside drove `lorries` as opposed to `trucks`."

"He remembered!"

"It was like a part of him was still in England. It gradually faded and we were just glad that he was happy to express himself verbally. On his third birthday, after all the guests were gone he sat at the table with a new jigsaw. I asked him a question and he turned to me and said `Mommy, I`m trying to concentrate.` To get from `go` and `no` to _that_ in three months was an astonishing achievement. His pronunciation was better than mine and he changed into mini Jasper, using full sentences and `big` words."

"See, you and Jasper are the best combination. I had a similar situation with the girls learning to sit on their own. Sophie was about five and a half months when she sat up on the sofa on her own for the first time. I was expecting Rachel to follow suit within days, but she wobbled and fell to either side each time. Weeks passed and nothing changed, so of course the panicky mother me went for a check up with the babies and asked the doctor what to do. The only advice I got was to refrain from comparing my daughters and enjoy them as they were. Rachel was developing correctly and she would sit when she was ready. I found it hard to avoid comparing them to each other, thinking that if they both grew in the same womb and were born a few minutes apart, they would be very similar. So Sophie was getting stronger and very confident sitting on her own while Rachel was still unstable over two months later! And then one day my mom called me into the living room and there was Rachel, sitting nicely on the couch, shaking a rattle and showing off her three teeth with a big proud smile on her face. And that`s not the end; it took her less than two weeks to start crawling then and boy, did she crawl! It looked like Sophie thought things through before she set into action, she would crawl slowly and carefully; if she bumped into something, she would avoid it next time. Rachel went like a storm; she didn`t watch where she was going as long as she went! Sophie maneuvered between obstacles, Rachel didn`t care; if she bumped, she rubbed her head, cried and went again."

"She`s more adventurous?"

"Slightly. Sophie lives up to her name, I call her Little Wise Owl; she tends to gather all the information first before making a decision, whereas Rachel is more likely to take a chance and see how it goes. She`s a bit like my mom."

"They`re both wonderful, Bella."

"Thank you. They`re excited about going to Phoenix next week."

"Oh, right, it`s your friend`s wedding!" Alice reminded herself.

"Yes. Angela was my best friend in Phoenix. I miss her, but thanks to webcams we`ve been in touch regularly."

"Hmmm," Alice agreed, "I`m the same with my friends in England and Ireland. I was actually telling Charlotte before you arrived that we will do a bit of travelling when she grows bigger. I want to show her when we lived when Hugo was a baby and where her mommy and daddy got married."

"Aw, lovely," I squeaked.

"And where we lived in this gorgeous Georgian house and Mommy drove a yellow Mini Cooper and Daddy called it `Canary`…" she laughed, "We had some great times over there. I`m gonna bring _you_, too; you`ll love it!"

"Can`t wait!"

"And hopefully we`ll bring Auntie Rose and her little boy with us! I am praying hard for this little soul to survive."

"So am I."

"I can only imagine how difficult it must be for Rose and Emmett right now and of course Charlotte being here doesn`t necessarily help the situation."

"Alice, stop! You know that they would hate if you blamed yourself or god forbid your baby for being here healthy and happy while they`re struggling at the same time."

"My mind understands it, but try discussing it with my heart," she sighed. I knew what she meant.

We heard a key in the door and two voices in the hall.

"Hello, ladies," Jasper entered the room with Hugo and his gentle smile changed into a prominent grin at the sight of his wife and daughter. He nodded at me and kissed his girls softly, Alice on the lips and Charlotte on the forehead. Alice beamed and I almost squeaked.

"Mom, did you leave a piece of egg from the salad for Chompy?" Hugo inquired. He looked more like his dad every time I saw him.

"I did, of course," Alice answered.

"Cool," her son smiled and turned around to leave the room.

"Er, excuse me," Jasper called after him, "how about `thank you, Mom`?"

"Thank you, Mom," Hugo said quietly, glancing at me.

"You`re very welcome, munchkin," his mom sang, "How was school?"

"Good."

"Lovely. Are you going to give me and your sister a hug?" she asked with a hopeful smile.

"I am; I need to wash my hands first," he explained.

I reckoned Hugo was surprised to see me in their house and all of a sudden went a tad bit shy. I stayed for another couple of minutes to chat with Jasper and then bode the Whitlocks goodbye to pick my own babies up from school.

Edward was working double shifts and spending most of his free time helping Rose and Emmett move into their new house. We didn`t see each other a lot and I was delighted when after four nights apart we were finally spending some time together again. We were going grocery shopping and I was in charge of picking up balloons for Hugo`s party at the weekend. Rachel and Sophie were bouncing with excitement all through the grocery store door.

"Now, Sophie, Rachel, keep close to me, OK?" I ordered, "I want to see you at all times. Tell me what you have on your shopping lists?"

They both looked at their pictures. It was my way of keeping them near me; I would draw pictures of what we needed to buy and let the girls put their items in the trolley.

"We need plums, Mommy," Rachel pointed at my scribbles and walked past Edward towards the fruit aisle.

"How many do we need, Rachel?" he engaged her, "One for you, one for Sophie, one for Mommy and one for Edward. Can you count them? I`ll help you," he added. I smiled to myself and plunked some tomatoes into a bag.

"What`s this, Mommy?" Sophie showed me her `list`.

"I believe this is yogurt, baby. I thought we could freeze it and make ice cream, what do you think?"

"Yes, yes! I`ll get it, Mommy, I`ll get it!"

"OK, OK, calm down," I said, "Let`s get the herbs for planting first, they`re just over there, round the corner."

She waited till I put the right seeds into the trolley, but her little feet were itchy to get to the dairy aisle.

"Can I get the _yogyt_ now?"

"In a minute, love. Look what else we have on the list," I suggested, catching a glimpse of Edward lifting Rachel up to the scales so she could weigh some oranges.

"But I want to get _yogyt_ now," Sophie whined.

"Sunshine, I know you do and you _will_, baby, this is _your_ job, but Mommy needs to get a few other things as well and I want you to stay close to me, please."

She huffed.

"There`s no need for this grimace on your face, Sophie," I commented. Maybe unnecessarily, but I did.

"But I`ll be quick, Mommy, I promise," she haggled, tapping her little foot on the floor tile.

I glanced at her stomp and then looked into her eyes, "Sophie, I said `no`. `No` means `no`, it doesn`t mean `maybe`."

"So, how are you doing here, girls?" Edward sang cheerfully with Rachel skipping happily beside him.

"Look, Mommy, I have plums and oranges and _nanas_!" she shook her plastic bags in front of me and stood on her tiptoes to reach to the trolley. Edward picked her up so she could drop the fruit inside.

"We have almost everything from our list, don`t we Rachel?" he smiled and winked at her, "How are your lists? Have you gotten everything from your picture, Sophie?"

Sophie`s lips turned upside down.

_What now?!_

"No, not yet," I answered for my daughter while checking expiry dates on juice cartons, "Sophie is going to get the yogurt in a minute."

I got momentarily too distracted to pay attention to what Edward said to her next, but seconds later I saw Sophie scooting down the aisle towards dairy.

"Sophie, wait! Where are you going?!" I called after her.

"She`s getting the -" Edward started.

"Sophie!" I raised my voice again.

All I saw was her little feet moving fast one in front of the other. Something in me boiled. I was just about to shout after her again, when an abandoned trolley came out of nowhere and she bumped right into it. Thank god she hadn`t been running before colliding with it, but the impact was enough for her light body to make her bounce off it. I didn`t know which feeling was greater in me, the sorrow for my baby`s pain or the irritation at her disobedience.

"Oh no," I said under my nose.

"Ouch!" I heard from Edward beside me. He had seen what happened and immediately he moved his feet forward.

"Stay here!" I snapped at him and leaving him with Rachel and our trolley as I walked over to Sophie, passing by some curious fellow shoppers. I saw that my daughter was fine; it was just a bump on her forehead.

She stood with her lips twisted in a horseshoe, rubbing her bruised forehead and clearly fighting an outburst.

"Now, are you alright?" I asked squatting opposite her.

She looked at me silently with tears welling in her eyes.

"I said we would get the yogurt in a minute and you didn`t listen and you see, you`ve hurt yourself. Running away from Mommy was a silly thing to do, wasn`t it?"

More tears welled in her brown pools. It killed me inside, but I was determined to follow through. I guess my daughters are stubborn after me.

"Are you going to listen next time?" I said firmly.

She tried to nod her head, but a split second later her salty drops overflowed and she gave into her pain and frustration. I melted.

I extended my hand and said softer, "Come on, we`ll go back to Rachel and Edward."

I fully expected her to hold my hand and walk with me, so it hit me when she unexpectedly dropped her bum on the tiles and started wailing. My attempts to calm her down were thwarted and the more I reached out the louder she became, screeching and crying and kicking.

"OK love, I`ll talk to you when you`re ready," I said calmly and stood up, ignoring the snarky looks of the people around.

Edward and Rachel had pushed the trolley closer to us at that stage and stopped feet away from distressed Sophie.

"Let me talk to her," Edward said to me quietly.

"No, Edward. There`s no reasoning with her now. She`s just throwing a tantrum, that`s all."

"Bella, please," he pleaded with me while other shoppers fed on our little drama.

"Edward, no!" I whispered frowning.

"Come on, she`s hurt," he squeezed my forearm and went to Sophie. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second. Rachel stood silently holding onto the trolley. I gave her a weak smile.

"Sophie, baby, did you hurt yourself?" Edward went down to her level and she looked up at him, but didn`t stop crying.

Something that I had never seen before flashed through Edward`s face, "Come up here, sweetheart," he scooped my daughter up. He turned his back to me and held Sophie as tightly as he could against her hardest attempts to free herself out of his embrace. She fought hard for a minute, the runs from her nose combining with her tears and dripping onto his shoulder.

"Shhh…. Shhh… It`s OK, sweetie, you`re alright…" he kept saying and I was just waiting for `_Daddy`s here`_ for some reason.

Eventually she calmed down. I felt like shit, trying to make sense of what had happened. Edward turned around to face me. He had a dead serious and sad expression on his beautiful features, as if he didn`t see me; he was so engrossed in his dealings with my baby. I took out tissues from my bag and passed them to him without a word. Sophie looked awful and I felt like crying myself.

"Let me wipe your nose, Sophie," he said to her and she let him, trying very hard to regain control of her emotions; I could see it in her eyes.

"Ooh, you got a little bumpy here," he scanned her forehead and kissed her cheek, "We would need a coolpack. I have an idea," he smiled at her and while still holding her closely, he came to the trolley and giving me a quick wink he took out a bag of frozen peas and pressed it to Sophie`s bruise through one of the remaining clean tissues. She giggled and Edward gave her the most radiant smile I had ever seen. I don`t think he had ever smiled at me like _that_.

"Are you OK, angel?" I asked Sophie with a whisper. She nodded `yes`.

"Would you like to get the yogurt now?"

"Yes," she answered, squashing another sob in her little chest.

"OK, let`s go then. Rachel, are you ready? Do you have anything left on your list?" I asked pushing the trolley with my green-eyed girl and with Edward carrying Sophie two feet beside me.

"Cheese and butter, Mommy," Rachel recited.

"Cheese and butter? Alright, baby."

Sophie remained in Edward`s arms for the rest of our escapade. In the car she asked me for a bandaid for her bump, so I presumed we were friends again if she spoke to me.

"Can we go over it later, please?" Edward threw at me when he pulled out of the parking lot to drive us home.

"Sure," I responded.

My Little Wise Owl was as happy as ever in no time. She popped the little yogurt pots into the freezer and helped me plant the herbs along with her sister while Edward cooked. Dinner was relaxed and we were back to normal.

"Sophie, I would like to talk to you about what happened in the grocery store today," I said to my duckie kneeling beside her after bedtime story.

"I`m sorry, Mommy," she said unprompted.

"Oh, sunshine," I ran a hand through her brown hair, "Mommy`s sorry, too. You need to remember to listen though, baby, OK,? If Mommy says `no`, she has a reason for it. It was _your_ job to get the yogurt and you were going to do it, but you were a bit impatient and got a bump on your head."

"It _hurted_ me, Mommy," she said sadly.

"I know, love, and I am very sorry that you hurt yourself. That`s why I asked you to wait for me so we could get the yogurt together."

"But I wanted to be first!"

"To be first?" I frowned and then something dawned on me, "Did you want to get all the things from your list first, _before_ Rachel?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed, happy that her silly to the tenth power mother finally grasped what she`d been trying to convey all this time!

"Did you think that Rachel was winning?"

"Yes!"

_Oh, dear god!_

"So tell me, did you think that Edward and Rachel were a team and you and Mommy were a team and Edward and Rachel were winning, is that why you wanted to get the yogurt quickly?"

"Aha," her little head bobbed and her hands clutched Iggy tightly.

"Oh, baby, but Mommy didn`t know that! I`m so sorry!"

Sure, when I thought of it I did remember that she got particularly itchy to get to the dairy aisle when she saw her sister ticking fruit off of her list.

"You know what though," I sighed, "I think we should all be one team, no Edward and Rachel, and Sophie and Mommy; there will be just one team, Mommy, Edward, Sophie and Rachel all together, how about that?"

She agreed.

"I love you, baby."

"I know, Mommy," she answered. I chuckled and kissed her goodnight, avoiding the painful reminder of a failed competition I didn`t know about, on her forehead.

I came downstairs wiser.

"Is she alright?" Edward soothed me rubbing my arms.

"Yeah, I`m forgiven," I sighed.

"I`m sorry, Bella. It was my fault; I told her to go get the yogurt; we could see her from where we were standing…"

"I had told her a few times to wait for me and that we would do it together, but she wouldn`t listen."

"And then I prompted her to go… I didn`t realize you`d spoken to her about it, I apologize."

"She saw you helping Rachel and was worried that she wouldn`t get the stuff from her list before you. She thought there was some kind of a competition going on."

"Oh, poor baby. But _you _were pissed with me, Bella. Sophie was hurt and upset and those people were staring, I couldn`t leave her sitting there on the tiles crying like that. They flipping melt me, these two."

"Do you think it was fun seeing my baby so frustrated and with a bruise on her head?" I snapped at him and followed it by a deep breath, "Sorry, it`s _me_ who`s frustrated right now."

"You wanna throw yourself on the floor and kick?" he tried a joke.

"It`s not helping."

He pulled me closer and I disappeared in his embrace.

"There are two of them, Edward," I explained against his chest, "I can`t let them both run around some store where I can`t see them. I wouldn`t have been able to follow them. I can`t do that, I need to keep them close to me, you know? I want them to be safe; they are my babies, my everything…" I sobbed.

"OK, I know, I know," he mused and rocked me gently.

"It`s been just myself with the children, so they know the rules and it`s been working great. Now with you there`s rivalry between them sometimes. And also if you have a different way of dealing with things, it sends mixed messages to them and they don`t know whom to listen to."

"I didn`t mean to undermine you, Bella. I wouldn`t dare."

"I did feel undermined though. I told Sophie to stay with me and then you said she could go and my authority went out the window."

"And she got a big fat bruise. I`m so sorry, sweetheart. I was having fun with Rachel and just asked Sophie if she had everything from her list. Rachel had some stuff to get from the dairy aisle too. I didn`t expect Sophie to just take off like she did and you were busy… I didn`t know she wasn`t allowed…"

"I know, I understand, Edward. It`s alright."

"I feel so guilty about that bump."

"It wasn`t your fault, don`t think like that."

"I can`t help it, Bella, I would have gladly taken a thousand of those if she could avoid getting one. And the sight of her sitting on that floor shouting and crying will stay in my mind for weeks if not months."

"Sweetheart, you`ve seen nothing yet," I smiled a little, "And please, don`t blame yourself, it was all just a misunderstanding. We are all OK. We`ll need to avoid the `if Mommy says no I`ll go to Edward` and the other way round next time."

"I`ve never been a parent, Bella, I don`t know how to do these things and I don`t wanna go against you and your rules regarding child rearing. Hugo is my sister`s and my best friend`s son; I`ve learnt a lot from them, but Rachel and Sophie are so different and much of what I know doesn`t apply to them."

"We`ll learn together… if you want to?"

"I do."

"Talking about babies was much easier, wasn`t it?" I chuckled.

He looked at me earnestly, "Bella, I love you and I wanna be with you forever. I love Rachel and Sophie and it was incredible to hear the other night when you said that I couldn`t have been more of a dad to them than I already am. I appreciate it more than you know. You three are my family and from what you said I gather that you see me as your family, too," he hesitated for a second before continuing, "And if we wanna be a family, it will entail me… parenting your children…" he stopped and looked at me.

"That`s true, I realize that. And I know that we might disagree at times. That's why I imagine that we talk about some basics regarding the girls and dealing with them, se we avoid situations like today."

"I agree. How comfortable are you with it?"

"With you being a dad figure to Sophie and Rachel?"

"Yes."

"There is uneasiness in me, but that`s natural, I believe. I have been the highest authority in their lives so far and although I am far from being perfect, I love the way my children are turning out and I have learned to trust myself as a mother. There is always room for improvement, but I think I`m a good mom. I know what works and what gets the results I want. A different approach is gonna be challenging for me, but we will learn and compromise, Edward. If _we_ don`t, then who else in the world will? I love you and I trust you. I want you to feel confident in how you deal with the girls. They`re very easy going, but situations like today might be happening more often, since they realize that you are a permanent fixture in our lives and how close you and I have become. They`ll be playing us off one another for as long as they have us both near."

"I know."

"It`s funny," I shook my head, "I told Alice the other day that Sophie is the ever so slightly more reasonable daughter of mine and then she does something like this…"

"They aren`t even three yet, I`d say they`re unreasonable by default," he smiled and kissed my hair, "Tell me, have you got everything ready for Phoenix? Did you get the dress you wanted?"

"Yyyyes," I said curious, "What makes you so interested in my attire though, may I ask?"

"Only one more, are you going to wear that gold bracelet with the baby shoe charms?"

"Oh, the one that my dad gave me? Yes, I believe so; I always put it on for special occasions and Angela`s wedding is definitely one of them."

"OK," he said more to himself than to me and wriggled out of our embrace, "Will you wait here a moment, please?"

I nodded and stood there thinking what he was at.

In no time Edward came back with a small black velvet box in his hand.

_Oh my god, he isn't…_

My heartbeat picked up instantly and my face must have looked shocked or something along those lines, because Edward smiled warmly.

"It`s not a ring, Bella," he chuckled, "But to get this look on your sweet face I should get to it soon I guess."

He took my right hand and placed the box in the center of my palm.

"Open it," he encouraged me.

I held onto the sides of the luscious, though aged box and saw a lovely, gold heart paved with beautiful clear stones resting on a mini cushion. It sparkled like a hundred tiny rainbows.

"I would love you to have a representation of me on your bracelet. If we`re talking about being a family, I wanna be there next to Rachel and Sophie."

I took the heart out to look at it closer, "Edward, it`s beautiful! I don`t want you to spend money on me though, we`ve talked about it earlier…"

"I didn`t spend a dime, Bella," he explained glancing at the sparkling pendant in my hand, "It was my Grandmother`s. See, the box is old and tarnished."

"So this is a family heirloom and you`re giving it to me?! Sweetheart, I love it, but I`m not sure I should –"

"Bella, stop! This heart is yours, just like mine. My Grandma wore it on a chain, but it was very thin and it kept breaking. She was terrified of losing the heart, so in the end she just put it in the box and forgot about it. She insisted on me taking a couple of baubles like that before she passed away. I took it to the goldsmith to get this clip attached so you could put it on your bracelet. It came back today."

"Thank you, I will wear it very proudly, Edward," I looked up at him, "Though I have doubts if I deserve –"

"Shhh…" he kissed me on the lips quickly and murmured against me, "_I_ don't have _any _doubts, Bella."

_the following day_

I had just finished a phone call at work the next morning when an unusual visitor knocked on my office door.

"Rosalie?" I said surprised at the sight of Edward`s sister-in-law, "What a surprise, come on in!" I cheered, but my face dropped as soon as the words left my mouth. She did _not _look happy.

"Bella, I apologize for disturbing you at work, but I just need to stay with someone close to me for a minute, is it OK?"

"Of course it is," I said sitting beside her, "What happened, Rose? You look very sad."

"He`s gone, Bella," Rose said calmly, "My little Adam is gone. I just wanted to tell someone."

"My god, Rose, no!" I gasped.

"It`s OK, Bella," she mused, "I told him it was alright if he wanted to go."

"Please, it should be me comforting you, not the other way round!" I protested, shocked and with pain piercing through my heart at her loss, "Was it his little heart?"

"It was," Rose nodded, "Two days ago we had a heart to heart with his doctor who said that there was still no improvement in his condition. He was hanging in, but very weak and not gaining any weight. Emmett and I went to see Adam yesterday evening. We asked to have him taken out of the incubator for a while and we both told him that we would have wanted nothing more that to be his mommy and daddy and that we loved him very much, but if he wanted to go, it was OK, we wouldn`t hold it against him. We wanted him to be happy and he would decide himself what he wished to do. He deteriorated further last night. The doctors called us at six this morning and we got to hold his hand as he drew his last breath," she smiled softly.

"I am so sorry," I whispered.

"Thank you, but you know, I`m happy for him. He`s with his brother and our other little one we lost a few months back. For some reason I think it was a boy, too. I believe I have three angels up there, you know."

_Good god, she must be on serious dose of tranquillizers, how else would she be so calm!_

Rose continued, "Technically it wasn`t our turn, we had just entered the adoptive program. He was a beautiful surprise, but he wasn`t ours."

"I really don`t know what else to say; I admire you so much, Rose, both you and Emmett. You`ve had so much hurt and pain happen to you, and you aren`t in the least bitter."

"Thank you. I`m worried about Emmett though, he feels like he`s failed me again."

I shook my head.

"I know," she added, "Of course it`s not true, but he says he can`t help it."

"Where is he now? How is he taking it?"

"He`s devastated. He wanted to talk to Carlisle and I told him I needed to be alone for a while," she sighed and looked around the office, "But then halfway through I changed my mind…"

"I`m glad you did, Rose," I touched her hand.

"We`re going to a funeral home in an hour."

"OK," I whispered, "Please, let me know the day and time, I want to be there."

"We will, thank you."

"I like the name you gave him."

"It was Emmett`s idea. I was too scared something would go wrong and didn`t want to hope for too much, but Emmett slipped and called him Adam out loud one day. He`d had that name in his mind the whole time. It fit him; Adam was the first man, he started the whole human kind and our boy was definitely a strong little man."

**The "Over the rainbow" version mentioned by Alice comes from GLEE. I heard it months ago for the first time and in my head I saw Jasper performing it for Charlotte right away! My beta bethroann is a huge fan of the show, so this is for you, my darling! :- )**

**More pics in the album!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Thank you once more for reading, adding the story to your alerts and favourites, and of course for reviewing! I cannot tell you how happy a dance my heart performs every time I get a new review alert. They keep me motivated and I learn what you like.**

**The original Twilight isn`t mine, but this plot and a few characters are! I also invented the names of the characters` work places, clubs, restaurants, hospitals and such, so if you happen to be in Phoenix, Seattle or somewhere in Italy, please keep in mind that this is fiction ;- )**

**A special hug and thank you go to my beta reader bethroann who read through this `monster` so quickly when I`m sure she was tired after a long journey. :- )**

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**Chapter 23 BPOV**

**PAINFUL GOODBYES AND SWEET BEGINNINGS**

"Holy macaroni, what have you got here?" I said to Sophie as she stuck her arm out proudly.

"I have a tattoo, Mommy! Riley gived it to me!" she answered earnestly.

"Riley _gave _it to you, did he?"

"Yep," she nodded and looked at me questioningly, suddenly unsure of my opinion on inky body parts.

"And what is it, a butterfly?"

"Yep. And Rachel got a ladybug."

I brought my eyes closely to my daughter`s plump skin and kissed the picture. "It`s a cute one," I said and Sophie let out a sigh of relief.

Edward, who`d been watching the whole time, smiled and I shook my head, smirking at Riley.

"They left a heart shaped one for you," he said.

"Hmm, nice one!"

"You`re not mad, are you?"

"Of course not! I want that tattoo!"

I thanked Riley for looking after the girls when Edward and I were out meeting the Cullens. Esme and Carlisle invited the family for a calming cup of tea after we buried little Adam. Rose and Emmett were grateful that they had been granted temporary custody so they could be their little boy`s family for the short time that he was with us. They never met Adam`s twin brother, but Carlisle contacted a lawyer friend who was able to pull some strings, allowing Rose and Emmett to move the baby`s body to a new space where he would be laid to rest beside Adam. The children`s official documents were accurate, but the stonecutter agreed to put the names Rose and Emmett asked him to. It broke my heart when I saw two angel faces and the words `Adam and Paul Cullen` carved in a simple granite stone.

Throughout the short ceremony Emmett stood there lost in his grief like he was made of stone himself, while his wife made sure that the little grave looked perfect; she constantly traced the gold letters on the rock, adjusted the candles and fixed three bunches of lily of the valleys, for Adam, for Paul and for the little one she`d lost at Christmas. Nobody disturbed her ritual. Nobody pulled her away. Nobody told her to stop. Her hands were stable, her features tender and soft. She reminded me of a mother tucking her children in bed and I kept telling myself that no child should sleep in a bed of stone.

"I know I`ve said it a thousand times before, "I said to Edward when Riley went home and Rachel and Sophie ran out to the backyard, "but I`ll say it once more; their strength astonishes me."

Edward agreed, "Rose is in an ongoing therapy; I think that`s how she`s coping. But I`m worried about Emmett. Did you see him standing there like a statue? And he barely said a word back at the house."

"He went to the counsellor too though, didn't he?"

"Just a couple of times, after the miscarriage," Edward leaned against the kitchen counter," He did it for Rosalie; he wanted to support her and be her rock. Today I saw how broken he is himself. He lost the children, too."

"I saw Rose taking some pills at your parents` house."

"Yeah, I know. Dad offered them both some tranquillizers, but they refused. They don't want to take anything that would possibly harm a fetus if Rose were to fall pregnant. Some of those drugs can have fatal effects on pregnancy, especially early one, so they`re taking some herbal, over-the-counter stuff. It sounds crazy to think that they keep losing those babies and are still trying for one at the same time."

"I know," I sighed, "And the most difficult thing is, the very thing that could bring them a baby is probably psychologically the most painful right now."

"Sex?" Edward asked in an unengaged tone of voice.

"Yeah," I clarified.

"I was always curious how people can do it, how can they enjoy being together when the simple being together is not the goal; when they actually want something out of it."

"You mean, when they just want to make a baby and not necessarily focus on being close with one another?"

"Uhm," Edward hummed.

"It`s amazing how powerful sex is, isn`t it? Not only about pleasure, but reconnection and comfort, consolation almost…" I drifted.

"Yeah. Maybe it`s true that at the end of the day we are all alone," he wondered, "Anyway, Rose and Emmett have a very passionate relationship and I mean physically passionate, and I just hope that all this pain and sorrow won`t make them less involved with each other."

"Hopefully not."

Edward chuckled suddenly, "Look at me, worrying about my brother`s love life."

I joined him in laughter momentarily before adding, "It`s a tough one. What if you keep trying and trying and then eventually the pain cuts so deeply that it destroys your relationship?"

Edward crossed his arms on his chest and stared into the space ahead.

"Honey," I touched his forearm, "It won`t happen to them. Rose and Emmett will stay together, you`ll see," I croaked out unsure of the truth of my own words.

"I just want them to catch a fucking break," he cursed desperately in a whisper and his eyes glistened.

I stood with him arm to arm and reached out a hand. Edward weaved his fingers through mine.

Two days later Carlisle drove Edward, the girls and me to the airport. It felt strange to be heading to a wedding mere days after a funeral, but Rose rang me personally the night before and said that she and Em wished us all a safe journey and a great time in Phoenix. I just shook my head wondering how the hell she was doing it and simply thanked her.

Our flight was on time and I was looking forward to seeing my friends and Mom of course, whom we were staying with. Phil was away for a few weeks and Renee was a little disappointed that Edward wouldn`t have another man in the house, but Edward reminded her that he used to live in Phoenix and he was going to give the two of us time to catch up while he met a couple of his old buddies.

The girls enjoyed snacking, reading and looking out the windows on the plane. They stole a few fellow passengers` hearts chatting with them and telling them that we were going to a big party and they would be wearing pretty dresses from Auntie Alice. And of course everybody who may have been concerned heard that Auntie Alice had a baby Charlotte and this and that…

About twenty minutes before landing Rachel winced beside me.

"Are you alright, baby? Is your throat OK?" I asked, rubbing her kiddie hand.

She didn`t answer me and just shook her head as if an insect was buzzing around her and bothering her. I let it go for a moment until she fidgeted again and sank into the seat, pressing her head into the back of it.

"Rachel, sweetie, are you OK?" I inquired again, "Do you need to go to the bathroom?"

"No," she said looking up at me with a pained grimace once more.

"Are you just super excited about seeing Grandma?" I tried to smile at her and caught the sight of Edward`s face. He was engrossed in reading a paper and probably didn`t catch my exchange with Rachel, but he suddenly made the same face as her; he fluttered his eyes and winced painfully.

"Edward?" I hoped to get his attention.

He put his paper down and turned to me, "Hmm?"

"Everything OK?"

"Yeah," he said but hissed immediately afterwards, "It`s the change in the air pressure. We`re descending now and sometimes my ears hurt then. I`ll be fine in a couple of minutes," he assured me and he looked down at Rachel sitting next to me and twirling her hair nervously.

"Sweetheart, are you OK?" He leaned to her, "Tell me, are your ears hurting you, too?"

As if on cue, my daughter`s hands flew to the sides of her head, "Yes," she admitted.

"Oh poor baby, come here," he pulled her onto his lap and scanned Sophie and me quickly.

"We`re fine here," I nodded to him. Sophie was currently counting Minnie Mouse faces on her socks, unaffected by the change in the altitude of the plane. I smiled watching her and returned to Edward and Rachel. The poor child didn`t know what was wrong until Edward suggested ear ache and she was now sitting on his lap with her back against his chest and a sad look on her sweet, lovable face. My heart hurt seeing my baby in pain.

Edward placed the tips of his index fingers to the front of both of her ears just outside the opening, and drew small circles applying some pressure.

"It should help," he explained to me quietly and his eyes fluttered again.

"Let me do it for Rachel," I reached out my arms to take her, "You`re hurting as well."

Edward just shook his head, "It`s OK, I`m fine."

He closed his eyes and brought his head to Rachel`s, humming and speaking to her throughout the whole process. She had her eyes fixed on some unidentified spot on the seat in front of her and I could see that she was taking all the help Edward was offering to ease her aches. I didn`t want to distract her, so I refrained from touching her and volunteering my comfort too. Gentle smiles from the other side of the aisle caught my attention. It was the elderly couple whom the girls talked to earlier on. They were watching us silently and both wore loving, caring expressions seeing our exchange, and Edward taking care of my little girl while ignoring his own discomfort. I smiled back at them and they nodded. I held Sophie with one arm and glanced at Edward. He didn`t stop the rubbing and the talking for a second and Rachel let her head drop forward till she nearly touched the seat in front of her. He looked calmer as well. There was such a beautiful connection between the two of them; he hummed and murmured to her and she listened; she sat quietly, leaning into his reassurance and it brought him relief in return; their souls entwining and their hair touching, Rachel`s waves only a shade or two lighter than Edward`s. The hands that touched me and brought my body to the highest points of pleasure were now soothing my child. Could I ever love him more? No.

We met the couple again at the conveyor belt, waiting for our bags. The lady seized the moment when Edward stood a few feet from me with the girls and she came up to me.

"You and I have much in common," she said with a smile and seeing my brows rising in question, rushed to explain, "Darling husbands. I saw that your little girl was in pain and her daddy took care of her in such a lovely way."

"Thank you," I said surprised, but didn`t hurry to clarify that Edward wasn`t my children`s father.

"I lost my first husband many years ago and was left with two young boys. My sweet George here," she bowed in the gentleman`s direction, "loved me and my sons like no other. We added to the family, but it never made any difference to George that the eldest two weren't his biologically. You know what they say, any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy."

_My god, she is so right! And how did she know?_

I smiled at her again and noticed Edward approaching.

The lady touched his forearm, "You are wonderful, sir."

He looked at her perplexed, but thanked her. She wished us all the best before going back to her husband.

"I kinda know that I`m awesome," he said to me cockily when we left the terminal, "but do you mind telling me why that lady complimented me?"

"Oh," I waved him off jokingly, "I just told her you were incredible in bed."

Edward laughed.

"Seriously," I added, "You are… you know, in bed, but I didn`t tell her that, of course," I winked, "She loved you with Rachel."

"Oh, right."

"She`s never suffered from those pains before. Rachel, I mean."

"I only get it sometimes myself; it`s hard to tell when it`s gonna happen. Some people say eating or just moving their jaws helps them; I found that putting pressure and rubbing outside the ears relieves the aching for me personally."

My mom squeaked seeing us all and welcomed Edward as if he`d been in the family for as long as myself. Edward reminisced on his life in Phoenix as we passed the streets and roads on the way to Renee`s house.

"Isn`t it funny that just a few years ago you both lived here but never met?" My mom sang from behind the wheel.

"I feel a pang in my heart at the thought to be honest," I joked, "Or even better, what if we _did_ meet, but didn`t know it was us? You know, we didn`t _recognize_ each other?"

I ruffled Sophie`s hair and entertained a few other thoughts, but waved them off as soon as Mom`s eyes found mine in the rearview mirror. I suspected she knew what I was thinking.

We enjoyed the sunshine. The girls ran around the backyard and we all went for an evening stroll before dinner. The children went crazy on the slides and swings at the park and collapsed on the bed right after dinner and a quick shower. Soon, Edward bode us goodnight and went to read in bed while Mom and I stayed in the kitchen, with a glass of wine each.

"So, when is Phil coming back?" I started.

"Three weeks from today," Mom said, "He just left three days ago. It`s such a pity that he won`t see you and the girls."

"I know, but we`ll see each other at the duckies` birthday next month, he`ll be back then."

"Uhm."

"And how is Anne doing?"

"Quite well, I would say. I haven't really been in touch with her that often lately. Phil helped her with the funeral and she spent some time with us, but then she began doing her own thing," Mom shrugged, "I saw her the other day across the street. She looked fabulous; she had her hair done and new clothes on. For a minute I wasn't sure it was her, but I drove right past her and there was no doubt, it was Anne. She didn`t see me though and I had green lights ahead, so I didn`t get a chance to talk to her. Her husband was sick for quite a while, you know that. She was a shadow of her old self, so now I think she feels alive again."

"Good for her. She took great care of him when he was alive and did all she could to make him comfortable in his last months, so she deserves to smile again," I finished with a sip of the red.

Mom insisted on seeing my dress for the wedding, so we opened the bag in the living room and she squealed like a teenager.

"My god, sweetie, it`s stunning. You`re going to steal the show. Of course the bride is the most important on her day and I`m sure Angela will look beautiful, but she isn`t my baby… you know what I mean," she ended with a sigh.

I chuckled, "Thank you. I thought Alice was too busy preparing for the arrival of Charlotte and didn`t ask her advice. It got me into a teensy weensy bit of trouble with her, but although this is not her design, she helped me choose it."

"It`s gorgeous, Bella."

"Edward`s wearing the same color."

Renee`s eyes twinkled.

"And the girls have cute dresses of course."

"Naturally!" Mom laughed.

"I can only hope and pray that they stay relatively clean throughout the ceremony."

"You are so funny, " she added, "Anyway, I`ve been watching you today, Bella… You look so happy, so content."

"I`m very happy, Mom."

"That`s all I ever wanted for you. And since we`re talking about a wedding here… Is it just my imagination or is there a real possibility that you could be a bride yourself some time soon? My guess is Edward would love it."

"We`ve mentioned the possibility," I said cautiously, not wanting my mother to run for a mother-of-the-bride badge yet, "but!" I raised my finger, "Only jokingly."

"How can you joke about getting married, I don`t understand," she cocked her head waiting for more information.

"Well, we were talking about rings and Edward asked if he should get me a Cartier or a Tiffany… but we were just laughing about it."

Something in my mom was bursting and she grinned widely, "Darling, men don`t just _talk_ about rings, they don`t _ask_ what you would like if they aren`t planning on buying one."

"We agreed on `when the time is right`," I threw at her in response and she smiled broadly once more.

"Then I will be giving you away soon, trust me," she winked and hugged me.

"Mom…"

"Does Edward know about the girls? Not that it`s wrong, I`m just asking."

"Not yet, but I`ll tell him soon enough."

"It`s going to be good news for him, Bella. The fact that he won`t have to worry about the girls` father appearing at the door one day will grant him peace of mind."

"I know. I`m not ashamed, I`ve been just protecting my children, you know how people are sometimes."

"Sure, but this is about _you_ and your _family_. If anyone has a problem with your choices, they can go to hell. Or they can come to me and I will shove them into the flames myself."

"I love you, Mom."

"Oh I love you too, my little swan," she hugged me, "Speaking of swans, how is your dad? I heard about the break up."

"He seems alright. I`m sure he`s hurting, but he has good friends around."

"That`s good," Renee bowed.

I packed my dress the next morning and Edward and I drove to Angela and Ben`s house for late breakfast while Mom took the girls to the park and to show off the granddaughters to her friends.

The bride-to-be approved of my attire thoroughly and I sighed with deep relief. Seeing a dress through a webcam isn`t the same as being able to touch it for real. My friend looked excited and happy and eyed Edward and I all the time.

The four of us sat down at the table.

"How did you two girls meet?" Edward looked at Angela and me.

"We used to go to the same coffee shop and one day we noticed that we were reading the same book, so we started talking and it went from there," Angela recalled.

"Nice," Edward smiled at her, "And I hear you`re a nurse?"

"Indeed," Angela answered with a shy smile," I`m a gynaecological nurse."

"Oh, I see," came out of Edward`s mouth and we let out a short laugh, "Do you work in a hospital? I hope you don`t mind my talking medicine at the table," he looked around, but Ben and I shook our heads `no`.

"Not at all. I work in `Meyer Clinic`, it`s a fertility clinic," Angela responded matter-of-factly.

"I know the place. I`ve heard of it," he said and his hands gripped the fork he was holding so tightly that his knuckles went white.

"You OK?" Came from me seeing his fidgeting.

"Fine, no problem," he answered with a nervous smile, "I`m asking because I used to live and work in Phoenix, I`m sure Bella told you," he added looking back at Angela.

"She said you moved back to Seattle about four years ago?"

"It`ll be four years in August. I worked in St. Claire`s."

"St. Claire`s, really? We have one nurse who used to work in your hospital then, Irina Johnson? Does it ring a bell?"

"I know Irina!" Edward cheered up, "I never worked with her as she was a gynaecological nurse like yourself of course, but she was going out with Felix Connery. He was a neuro-surgeon and we worked together numerous times."

"That`s right. They`re still together."

The conversation continued when I heard my cell ringing.

"Guys, I`m sorry, but it`s my mom. Might be something with the children."

"Don`t worry, take it," Ben said.

I went to the hallway and answered the call. Renee couldn't find Rachel`s cough medicine, otherwise everything was fine. As I was about to go back to the room I saw Angela walking to the kitchen and waving for me to join her.

"Bella, firstly, he is absolutely gorgeous and secondly, I can`t believe that this is _your _Edward and you two are actually a couple!" She bounced around me like Alice.

"I don`t understand."

She giggled, but then seeing the lack of reaction from me she added, "You were supposed to meet Edward almost four years ago, here in Phoenix. "

"I met Edward nine months ago in Seattle," I stressed.

"OK, you really have no idea what I`m talking about. Do you remember the night before your procedure?"

"You mean the one when a friend of yours had a blind date set up for me? That night?"

"Yes, that night."

"I remember," I shrugged, "The guy never showed up and the following day your friend was asked by her friend to tell you to tell me that he was sorry, but he had a family situation and had to leave town."

"Bella, it was Edward! I think it`s amazing that you two found each other against all odds."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"That`s impossible, Ang. How can you be sure it was my Edward?"

"It all fits! He`s a surgeon, he worked in the same hospital as Irina and Felix and when you were on the phone now I learned that he moved back to Seattle in mid-August four years ago because his grandmother`s health deteriorated very quickly, and she passed away a week later. A few days after that party back then Irina said something about it and she called your blind date Edward. You were on a new adventure already and I was pretty pissed that he never showed up and nobody cared to even inform you that he wasn`t coming to the party at all so I ignored anything Irina said about it afterwards. But it looks like fate wanted you two to meet anyway and gave you another chance."

I stared into space. _Could this be true? Was it really Edward that night? Was I supposed to meet _him_? Does it mean that we would have been together for nearly four years already? But then I wouldn`t have had Rachel and Sophie… Or maybe I would have had them _with _Edward? Oh, stop it!_

"Bella," I felt Angela`s hand on my arm, "I`m sorry for upsetting you. I was genuinely excited and overjoyed; I thought you knew about it all…"

I shook my head to clear it, "No, no, I`m not upset, just… shocked, to be honest. I`ll talk to Edward later."

Edward and Ben hit it off and I was glad that Edward wouldn`t feel like he didn`t know anybody at the wedding; now that he`d met the bride and the groom it was going to be easier for him.

We said our goodbyes and Angela gave me a knowing wink.

"Honey, can we go somewhere where we can talk for a while, please?" I asked as we sat in Phil`s car and Edward started the engine, "Mom and the girls might be back at the house and I need to ask you something in private."

"No problem. Is everything alright though? Should I be worried?" He shifted somewhat uncomfortably in the seat, just like he did when Angela told him where she worked.

"No, it`s just that Angela said something that surprised me to say the least and I want to clear it with you. But it`s nothing bad."

"OK. So, coffee shop, park?"

"Park. The one we went to yesterday with the children will do."

A few minutes later we sat on a bench and Edward placed my hand in his.

"Please, tell me, sweetheart, whatever it is…"

"Well, Angela claims that you and I were supposed to meet almost four years ago, here in Phoenix."

"We were _supposed _to meet? What does that mean, Bella?"

"OK. It was mid August and I got invited to some friend of a friend of a friend`s thirtieth birthday party. I didn`t know that person, but Angela was going too and she practically begged me to join her. Truth be told I was looking for a way out, but then I heard that Angela`s colleague`s friend`s friend… whatever knew that there was a great guy coming to the party and he and I should meet. He was a surgeon, in his early thirties and he worked in a hospital. Blind dates aren`t my thing and I didn`t like the idea but I was told that he knew that I was going to be there, so I decided to go for a while and at least say hello to him. I had an important doctor`s appointment the following day and Angela insisted it would be good for me to get out of the house and relax and unwind. I went but the man never showed up. Two days later I was told that he had asked a friend who was going to that party to apologize to me but he wasn`t going to make it in the first place as he had to leave town quite abruptly. He had a family situation I heard. That friend of his didn`t make it to the party either and I didn`t get the message. I felt stood up and cheated. I only went there to say hello to him and he didn`t bother to come. I didn`t believe in `the family situation` for a second. It was a lame excuse in my book. Angela is certain it was you."

Edward`s eyes travelled in all directions possible, as if he was trying to find specifics in his memory.

"When was that party exactly?" He asked, frowning.

"August 16th. As Angela told you, she worked with Irina Johnson, the girlfriend of your colleague Felix Connery."

"Right."

"Irina`s friend who`s a nurse as well, worked on your ward in St. Claire`s hospital. Her name was Senna something as far as I remember. It was Senna`s friend`s thirtieth birthday. That girl was pretty new in town and she asked her friends to bring some people along to celebrate with her."

"Oh my god, Bella, I know Senna, of course! And now that you`ve said… Wait, wait, wait… There _was_ a party, I remember now… My grandmother who lived in Seattle got sick a few months earlier. I went home to see her and my parents whenever I could. Alice and Jasper were in London, Em and Rose in Fairbanks and they couldn`t make it as often. Eventually I asked at the hospital if there was a chance to get transferred to Seattle. I got the news that there would be a position for me but I would need to move within weeks. It happened at the perfect time because Grandma`s heart was failing quickly. I got invited to a party and I was told that there was this beautiful girl coming there as well and I absolutely had to meet her. I didn`t feel like going, I had too much on my plate at the time, but I didn`t want to stand her up, so I said yes, I`d pop in for half an hour. Two days before that though I got a call from home to come to Seattle fast. I booked my flight immediately and I remember apologizing to Senna that I wouldn`t be going to that party after all. She said she`d pass on the message to that girl I was meant to meet… I didn`t even know her name…"

"It was in that club, "The Den"."

"Yes!" Edward exclaimed as the last piece completed our jigsaw. He squeezed my hand, "Sweetheart, I… I can`t believe it was you… I was supposed to meet _you_…"

"I know. Strange, huh?" I hang my head.

He lifted my chin and searched my eyes for a minute before the quickest smile flashed through his features. He rubbed my cheek softly.

"I`m so sorry, baby," he said sincerely, "If I`d known it was you… I mean, I didn`t know who you were back then anyway, but I`m still sorry. We kind of lost three years, didn`t we?"

"What if we didn't like each other that night though?" I suggested.

"Excuse me? You and I not liking each other? This is out of the question, Bella."

"I thought of you for some time after that party, you know? I didn`t know _who_ you were, but I hoped that whatever made you leave Phoenix worked out well."

"I thought of you, too. I spent a lot of time with my Grandma before she died a week later. She was worried that I wasn`t married and with kids, you know, the usual. I didn`t want to tell her that I had missed meeting someone because I rushed home to see her, but one day she grabbed my hand and said that she could feel that my girl was out there somewhere waiting for me, and I was going to be very, very happy with her. She had that look in her eyes that you wouldn`t dare disagree with, as if she`d just seen the future. You know when Alice tells you that she has `a feeling`, you listen to her? That`s exactly what Grandma Cullen was like, even stronger. I think Alice inherited it from her. And I couldn't help but think that maybe that girl I didn't get a chance to meet was the girl Grandma talked about…"

I wiped my tears and smiled at him, "That heart charm belonged to her?"

"Yes."

"Then she got us together in the end, didn`t she? She must be laughing at us now."

"She was a _wonderful_ woman. Did I tell you her name was Rachel?"

"No! Really?"

"Yes. Rachel Elizabeth Cullen. She was my dad`s mom."

"Amazing."

We held hands and walked at the park, passing by some elderly couple feeding the birds, a jogger, two young moms with gurgling babies and a little boy learning to cycle while his daddy cheered him on. The world seemed peaceful and calm; everything seemed the way it was meant to be. I had a feeling that somewhere up in the clear skies above someone smiled down on me, someone I didn`t know before, someone who had been looking after me for nearly four years. I was going to wear that remarkable lady`s heart charm so proudly…

_Thank you, Grandma Rachel._

"Well, well, well, hello there!" Jack Newton welcomed Edward and I with a broad smile as we joined him and his lady for lunch at one of my favorite restaurants the next day.

Instantly, my face stretched into a grin.

"How is my beautiful wife?" he added and I shook my head before falling into his warm embrace. Chelsea and Edward exchanged funny looks.

"Aw, Jack, you`re at it again?" I joked, "Please, meet Edward," I motioned to both gentlemen. Chelsea, the lady Jack had only made me familiar with through some photos was lovely and looked very much in love with him.

"Rest assured Edward," Jack said, "The wife thing isn`t real of course."

"It came in handy once or twice in the past though," I noticed.

"I am curious now," Chelsea looked between her friend and I. I chuckled.

"I`ll let Bella explain it," my boss suggested.

Edward shot me an eager glance.

"When Sophie and Rachel were still babies I used to go to a mommy and baby club near the office. My mom would usually go with me. It was just a place where the babies could play together and moms, grandmothers or minders could gush about the little ones and have a grown up conversation. One morning Jack and I had a long meeting and my mom brought the girls to the club along with her friend Anne instead. Jack and I signed a fantastic deal and he wanted to bring all of us ladies to lunch to celebrate. We went to the club to collect the four girls. There was a little staff room leading to the one where the moms played with the babies. As Jack and I were about to walk past we heard my name being said, followed by some giggling. For some reason Jack and I stopped and listened for a moment. Two staff members wondered who my children`s father was and why I didn`t put his name down on an application form when I was enrolling the girls at the club a few weeks earlier…"

Chelsea opened her mouth widely.

"One of them cackled and commented that I probably had some wild one-night-stand and got knocked up. Jack boiled up and stormed into that room with the words `Ladies, I believe we haven`t met before. Let me assure you though that you will never see me, my wife Bella or our daughters Sophie and Rachel ever again. It`s a _mommy _and baby club, so daddy`s name isn`t necessary on the form if you ask me.`"

"I am shocked, Bella!" Chelsea exclaimed, "How dare they!"

"I don`t even know what to say," Edward said calmly, but his body language told quite a different story; those women would have paid severely for their sins, "What stupidity and narrow-mindedness."

"I know. Jack was incredible though," I squeezed Edward`s hand and smiled at my friend across the table, "He made a tale about me being his wife on the spot and I called him Mr. Swan for quite some time after that!"

"I can`t say I hated it!" Jack laughed, "It put a couple of people in their places once or twice after that and that`s all that mattered to me. And Bella, how are our, I mean _your _little cookies by the way? I should get that `our` bit out of my head now," he nodded towards Edward and got a smile in response.

I laughed, "Sometimes I doubt they`re mine anymore either, Jack. They adore Edward."

We shared some `duckie` news and were soon joined by Jessica and Mike. It was impossible to miss the spark on Jessica`s finger; Mike had obviously made his move at last. And I have to admit that I had been right, both fiancé and fiancée looked radiant and as much in love as they were in Forks High. They had been together on and off since then and it would make you wonder if this would work out in the long run. Seeing Jessica though, who knows the latest trends in fashion better than designers themselves, wear the old ring that Mike got from his mother with such pride would dissolve any tiniest doubt that these two were in fact made for each other. You would have thought they had met relatively recently like Edward and I; their smiles, winks, small touches spoke for themselves and would make one blush. Jessica isn`t going to be Miss Stanley for much longer, that`s for sure.

_Is it me or is there a wedding theme going on here?_

"Jessica seems nice," Edward told me later as we lay in bed.

"She`s quick and witty, good fun and great for Mike," I agreed.

"So, did that ring belong to Mike`s mother then?"

"Yes. She got it from Jack when Mike was born and now she thought it would make a nice engagement ring."

Edward nodded, "Rose`s engagement ring belonged to my mom, too. She also got it from Dad when Em was born."

"Lovely!" I said, "I like family traditions where you pass things on from generation to generation."

"Me too. So Jack and his wife who was Mike`s mother divorced then?"

"Yes, many years ago."

"Jacob told me that Jack used to live in Forks when he was younger?"

"That`s right. He had a thing for my mom, out of all people. It`s a long story," I chuckled.

"You seem to have quite a close relationship with him as well."

I swallowed loudly and Edward wriggled next to me.

"I`m sorry if I upset you."

"No, no," I replied, "It`s stressful to talk about it, that`s all. It brings back some painful memories."

"Let`s leave it then."

"No, Edward," I protested, "I`m OK to talk about it. It all happened five years ago, here in Phoenix. One Friday evening my work colleagues went for a drink while I stayed in the office. I got caught up in a long phone call and eventually it was quite late when I was leaving. I saw a light in Jack`s office and decided to knock on the door and say goodnight," I shivered, "I knocked and heard my name called in a quiet, very hoarse voice. I pushed the door open and saw Jack in his chair, all crumpled, holding his left shoulder and arm as close to his chest as possible. His face was sweaty and twisted and he looked like he was in terrible pain," I exhaled slowly and a shudder ripped through my body.

"He was having a heart attack," Edward stated quietly.

"Yes. I had never been so scared in my life before that day. I went numb myself, but managed to call an ambulance. I then sat beside him. He whispered to me that he`d been sitting like that, unable to move, for about ten minutes already, he didn`t realize that someone was still in the office. I know that to you as a doctor this is nothing new, but to me… it shook me like nothing before in my life, Edward. I had nightmares for weeks after that, all I could think about was what would have happened if I had gone home earlier or if I went into Jack`s office some time later… too late for him."

"Sweetheart, you did something wonderful, you saved his life," he smiled at me and wiped off my tears, "I understand that you and Jack grew closer afterwards…"

"Yes, though not in the way you think. You see, after his divorce Jack was alone for many years, he often joked that the office was his lover, that`s why he spent nearly all his time and energy in it. He loved his children, Mike and his younger sister a lot, but they had their own lives, so Jack focused on the publishing house. It gave him joy and success, but also a huge amount of stress; and in the end, a heart attack."

"Tell me what happened that night…"

"Before the ambulance arrived Jack made me promise that I wouldn`t call Mike. I went to the hospital with him as next of kin. Nobody was to know what happened before the doctors told us what the prognosis was. I think I was in shock myself and I agreed to everything Jack said, I was just so relieved that he was in good, medical hands."

"Hmm."

"I went home at two in the morning, only to go back to the hospital a few hours later to see this man, my boss and the father of my friend sick and vulnerable… It was shocking and heartbreaking. I felt so helpless. It was Saturday and we knew that Jack wouldn`t be released for another few days. He didn`t want anybody from the office to know, but I convinced him to call Mike. Mike worked in the same office, in the financial department. Jack called him on Sunday morning and Mike was there at the hospital half an hour later. Given that he lived about an hour drive from it, he was there in a flash. The three of us came up with a little plan; Mike was going to tell the rest of the employees that his father had to go away to deal with a family matter while the company`s vice president would run the show during his absence. Jack didn`t want anybody to see him so weak and feel sorry for him. All of us, his employees were younger than him and he often acted almost like a father to us."

"It was a shock to him on many levels."

"Definitely. He was suddenly bedstruck, bored, scared and he couldn`t be in his beloved office. I visited him every day, Mike and I brought him home together and because Jack was determined to stay in his own house and not in Mike`s apartment, Mike and I took turns and cooked and visited and checked on Jack in secret from everybody in the office. If they had suspicions, they didn`t show and I was grateful for that. Two weeks later Jack started working again, from home. Things were slowly going back to normal, he came back to the office shortly afterwards, taking things easy and slowly, and if he and I had to work longer, Mike always stayed with us. Only Jessica was in on the secret."

"He seems to be doing fine now," Edward suggested.

"Better than fine, actually. He`s living a healthier life now than he ever had before the heart attack. He eats well, he swims a few times a week and power walks with Mike which is their father-son time. And he met Chelsea about the same time as you and I did and it doesn`t look like she`s detrimental to his health either, " I winked.

"You could say it turned out to be a blessing."

"I agree. Jack takes really good care of himself now. Back then I felt responsible for him. Later he apologized for having been selfish by wanting to keep it all quiet and `sucking` me into this game of secrecy, but at the time I didn`t recognize that we were unconsciously hurting each other. I just wanted to help. I was very maternal and the fact that someone needed me, my attention and my care suited me very well. Mike is Jack`s son so it was natural for him and Jess to get involved, but I chose it for myself."

"Why do you think you were hurting each other?"

"Well, Jack wanted nobody else but Jess, Mike and me to know about his condition. He was scared he would lose clients and their trust in his ability to run a successful business. Newton Publishing was just about to take over one newspaper and we were in talks about a new magazine. Jack wanted things to run smoothly. He put a huge amount of pressure on me by choosing me as his caretaker and I slipped into it very easily and without a complaint. We spent an awful lot of time in one another`s company those days. We talked about life, love, literature, hopes and expectations. Jack told me about his crush on my mom years earlier and how he never stood a chance as my mom was crazy about my dad. I knew about his broken marriage to Mike`s mom, I took him to the doctor, I checked on him if not personally then over the phone. For a while it was like I had a child, it was an outlet for my need to be important to someone, you know, to be the one and only, the irreplaceable one. There was never any romance between us, but there`s no denying that we love each other; Jack is like another dad to me or at least a very close uncle and he treats me like a daughter."

"It`s good to have someone like that."

"It`s very good, but back then we both realized at some point that it wasn`t very healthy. Jack started hinting and telling people what had happened and was surprised how much support he got from his friends and employees and I could breathe easily, knowing that I could step back. This motherly approach to him is still in me though; I still ask how he`s doing all the time and then I check it all with Mike, because some time ago there was some problem with Jack`s blood pressure and of course he didn`t want to worry me so he didn`t tell me. I was mad afterwards."

"Mother hen," Edward joked and kissed me.

"True. When the girls were born, Jack was wonderful. He said it was finally a chance for him to pay me back and take care of me in return for all I had done for him. So I can take time off whenever I need it and things like that. He also helped me a lot with the move to Seattle."

"You have really great friends, Bella. I like how you all look out for each other."

"Thank you. I made most of my longterm friendships in Forks. There`s something about small towns… But also Riley, Jessica, myself and a couple other people from our `gang` were the only children, so we were more like siblings to each other than school mates only," I explained.

"That makes sense," Edward said, "Will you tell me more about Jack and your mom and how it all was years ago?"

"Of course. They were neighbors in Forks. Jack is a few years older that my mom and wanted to date her, but she was madly in love with Charlie. It`s interesting that she didn`t take to Jack because they have quite similar characters and personalities; both are free spirits, very exuberant, full of life, hungry for new experiences. As a teenager Jack knew already what he wanted to do in life and that he wasn`t going to stay in little Forks forever. Charlie is completely the opposite and yet, my mother chose Charlie and never even gave Jack a second thought. She liked him, he was a nice next door neighbor, but she felt connected with Charlie. Jack had no problems finding a girl and following my mom`s rejection, he began going out with someone else. To his surprise he was going to be a young father, at the same time as my mom was expecting me. Mike was born just two months after me. I was nine months old when Renee took me and went to Phoenix to live with her grandparents."

"Your mom`s grandparents?"

"Yes. My mother`s mother married a man from Forks. My mom was born and raised there. My dad`s family is native to Forks. So when my mom took me and wanted to go away, see the world, go to college, her grandparents offered her a roof over her head in Phoenix. Remember, both my parents were just nineteen going on twenty at that stage. So my great grandparents took care of me while my mom went to classes here in Phoenix. She became a preschool teacher, found a small apartment and there we were, just the two of us. I visited my dad in Forks every year, two or three weeks in the summer."

"How did Jack Newton end up in Phoenix then?"

"Simple, he also had relatives in Phoenix. Initially, after Mike was born Jack stayed in Forks, but his marriage wasn`t doing well. He wanted to work in publishing and took his family to Seattle and worked there for a while. Soon Mike`s sister Sarah was born and for a couple of years things were better, but eventually the marriage crumbled and fell apart completely. Jack`s wife met a young guy from Forks, who ran a sports` equipment shop, she fell head over heels for him and Jack saw that there was no more hope for his family to stay together. They got a divorce; she went back to Forks with the children and soon remarried. Jack missed his kids terribly, but he knew that he couldn`t pursue his dreams in Forks and he managed to find a job in Phoenix. A few years later he opened his own publishing house, Newton Publishing, ta-da."

"And then he met your mom again?"

"They met in a grocery store one day, to a total surprise for both. They couldn`t believe their eyes and met for coffee to share their stories. They were both single again, though my mom had me with her, of course. Jack told her how much he missed Mike and Sarah and laughed how I was almost his daughter, too. Their relations never turned romantic, but they stayed in touch and met for coffee or lunch sometimes. Jack liked me very much, I reminded him of his children. He would ask me what music I liked, what books I read and generally what I was interested in, so he felt closer to his own children and I even helped him choose birthday and Christmas gifts for Mike and Sarah."

"He was a bit of a father figure then?"

"I guess he was, though he never tried to be anything else than just a friend. He was a true gentleman to my mom and I; he was kind and friendly, a really, really good, solid, dependable man. He travelled a lot and told us many stories and showed us photos of places from all over the world. My mom`s eyes grew bigger each time, but she never accepted Jack`s offers to go on a trip with him, just as a friend. They share interests and they both love the same things and countries and food and yet, my mom never took that chance."

"Maybe she didn`t need a man who was similar to herself, she wanted the opposite to complete her."

"I don`t know. I mean, Phil is very much like her, even crazier. He`s nine years younger than Renee, maybe that`s what she needed," Bella laughed to herself.

"She seems happy."

"I think she is. Sometimes I feel like she`s doing too much for Phil and forgets about herself, but I can`t change that, I can only love her. Anyway, she`s done some travelling in recent years, thanks to her late sister."

"Sister? I didn't know your mom had a sister?" Edward`s forehead creased.

"She did, but there was a significant age gap between them…" I stopped for a moment to remember all the facts before continuing, "It`s an interesting tale, quite melodramatic if you ask me."

"If you hear me snoring then…" Edward laughed and I elbowed him.

"Naughty! You think only the Cullens have stories to tell?"

"Alright, alright," he shimmied from my tickles, "Seriously, I`m all ears."

"OK. My maternal grandmother had a daughter when she was just seventeen. A young, unmarried mother was a shock and a shame to the family, but my great grandparents stood by their daughter and they helped her raise the little girl. Granny called her daughter Daniela Athenodora."

"Wow, that middle name is… " Edward was looking for the right word.

"Extravagant? I agree."

"I`d call it _very_ original and unusual. It brings to mind old Italy."

"And you`d be right. Daniela`s father was Italian. He and my Granny Marie met when he was on vacation with his family in California, where Granny lived. They shared their first intimate experiences and wham, he went back to Bella Italia and my grandmother was left with a souvenir. The news wasn`t advertised, as you would believe and just after the baby was born, Granny`s parents made a decision to move to Phoenix. Many people believed that Daniela was my grandmother`s younger sister and not a daughter. Granny felt so bad for what her family had been through that she just humbly accepted her parents` help and decided to pay for her sins alone. Ten years later though she was a twenty-seven-year-old woman who lived independently with her young daughter and then somehow she found her Italian lover again. She finally told him about their child. The man invited them to Italy and though nothing happened between him and Granny, he loved his daughter and she would go to see him every summer. My grandma married my granddad and soon my mom was born, while her older sister went to school and then to university over in Italy, where her father took care of her. She didn`t come back to visit her parents and baby sister that often, so my mom never had a close relationship with her and never really knew her well, but Daniela adored Renee and often asked for pictures and sent gifts for my mom. She never had her own children, so when she found out that my mom had me, she did the same again; she sent cute little dresses and dolls and games for me. Then, later in life as a mature woman she married a very wealthy man, Caius Volturi. She insisted on sending money for me when I went to college. I was refusing to take it, so she told me to treat it as a loan."

"So, this Caius Volturi would be your uncle?"

"Yes."

"Are we talking Caius, Marcus and Aro Volturi by any chance, the three brothers who ran the largest real estate and property developing agency amongst other businesses in Italy?"

"Yes," I answered quietly, "How do you know them?"

"My mom used to do business with them, Bella! Buying and selling property, property restorations, interior and exterior designing…"

"Oh yes, of course!"

"Well, Mom wasn't involved in buying and selling, but they were the patrons of one of the largest annual exhibitions on everything property related in Europe. It was a huge fair. It would last two weeks and it covered everything from talks about the architectural structure of the Pyramids through the latest trends in contemporary house building to kitchen decorations from the Swedish IKEA. It was Mom`s dream to see it and one year Dad got her a ticket. It must have been about ten years ago. Mom brought me along. She went to the fair almost every day and met many interior designers from all over Europe. She made some friends and professional contacts while I caught a taste of Italy. But what I was going to say is, my mom got to talk to all three Volturi brothers and she has something signed by them, some book or album or something. She was ecstatic about it, Ask her, because I can`t remember what it was exactly."

"So she met my Uncle Caius then?"

"Looks like it."

"Unbelievable, isn`t it? It can be said that you and I had a connection ten years ago already!"

"I think so. But back to your story, sweetheart…"

"Well, Aunt and Uncle came here a few years ago and we had a great time. They insisted on Mom, Phil and me coming to see them in Italy. We booked time off work, booked the tickets and then a tragedy happened."

"Oh."

"It was awful. Mere weeks before our visit they had a car accident and both died. But then it turned out that they left money to my mom and me as they had no other close family, and listed the two of us as their sole beneficiaries. They had it all planned just in case of their premature deaths. There was a letter to both of us, my mom and I from Aunt Daniela, attached to the testament. She and her husband wanted us to have whatever our hearts` desire and Aunt joked that she would haunt us if we didn`t spend the money, as if she knew that we would have issues with using money that we felt we didn`t earn and deserve."

"Oh, yeah, I know you have problems with accepting gifts."

"I`m learning!" I laughed, "Uncle Caius`s brothers had both passed away before him and only one of them, Marcus had a child; her name is Heidi. She`s six years older than me, so one cousin is all I have left in Italy. We`ve talked on the phone many times and she`s so funny enunciating the double "l" in "Bella". I`m waiting for the girls to grow that bit older so we can go on nice long holidays to see Heidi and her family."

"You`ll love it there. And now that you said that I can remember my mom saying something about the death of the last Volturi brother a few years ago, I should have paid more attention. It was when my grandmother got sick, about four, maybe four and a half years ago?"

"Uhm," I nodded.

The day of Angela and Ben`s wedding was like a dream come true; it was warm and sunny, with birds twittering happily as if announcing the sweet news to the world from the earliest hours of the morning.

I went to Angela`s parents` house to help her get ready and Edward was going to join me with the children and Renee later. Something happened to me over the past several months, because I was really into the whole wedding dress, shoes, garter, make up and hair thing now. One of Angela`s sisters in law acted as a hairdresser and make up artist and I gasped when I saw my friend all ready to walk down the aisle. Her hair was up and she wore my own mom`s tiny earrings that she squeaked when she saw years ago. They were simple tiny crystal drops that my dad gave my mom after I was born. Now my friend was wearing them as something old and borrowed. Her dress was made for her in heaven. It had spaghetti straps, a fitted bodice, and a tulle skirt kicking out on her hips and flowing to her feet. A silver/grey sash accentuated Angela`s tiny waist and I was told it complimented Ben`s suit in the same color. The lace flowers on the bodice were also sparsely used on the top of the skirt and then slowly disappeared towards the bottom of it. A few tiny crystals on it glimmered in the sunshine coming through the window of Angela`s parents` guest room.

"Bella, don`t cry, you`ll ruin you make up," Angela sang to me.

"I`m sorry, it`s supposed to be me calming _you_ down, not the other way round, but this is just… you look so beautiful, Angela."

"Oh, darling, thank you!" She held my hands, "I`m so glad you`re here with me. And if my psychic powers tell me right, _you _my dear, may just be the next bride…" she winked.

"I would love that, " I smiled at my own admission, "You know I`ve never been crazy about wedding dresses and things, but today, seeing you and having Edward by my side… I would love it. And I would love a dress similar to yours; it`s exquisite."

"Wonderful! You should consider wearing it shorter though so you can show off your legs, Bella."

"OK, OK, Miss Weber," I laughed, "Let`s get _you_ married first before we start planning _my_ wedding, shall we?"

Ten minutes later I made my bridesmaid`s walk down the aisle in Mr. and Mrs. Weber`s back garden. When I turned around, I immediately saw my Mom, my two sweet little angels wearing utterly impractical but downright adorable white dresses and… Edward. He looked simply dashing in his midnight blue suit, a pale blue shirt and a silver tie, the same color as Angela`s sash. I chuckled inside. But even from several feet away I could see that he had tears in his eyes. Many guests` eyes were filled with happy drops when they saw Ben take the hand of his lovely bride, but Edward wasn`t looking at my friend. He was looking at me. All the time. Once, he scanned Angela and her dress and his eyes fell back on me as if asking me something. As my friend became a wife, I looked at Edward and nodded softly.

_I do._


	24. Chapter 24

**bethroann – thank you : -)**

**CHAPTER 24 BPOV**

**EIGHT, SEVEN, NINE, ONE, THREE, ONE, NINE**

"Sooooo? How was it?" Alice rubbed her hands enthusiastically when she came over for lunch. Charlotte was snoozing in her car seat beside us.

"It was beautiful, Alice. The whole setting was lavish yet sweet and cozy at the same time. Angela and Ben wanted it classy but simple and it was spot on," I said searching for the `A&B wedding, Phoenix` file on my computer.

"Gosh, Angela is a looker, isn`t she?"

"She is," I agreed, "And there`s nothing wrong with Ben either," I added with a wink and Alice joined in my chuckle.

"And the four of you look just… perfect," she said squinting her eyes while examining a photo of Edward, the girls and I at the reception. We posed happily, smiling, Edward and I embracing one another and holding Rachel and Sophie in front of us. There were other photos, Edward and I dancing, Edward dancing with the twins, myself feeding Edward the cake, the two of us kissing…

"It was a magnificent day," I reminisced dreamily.

"Would you like a day like this… I mean, for you?" Alice asked cautiously.

"You mean a wedding day?"

"Aha."

I smiled and my lower lip disappeared between my teeth, "I would. We`ve kind of talked about it… Well, we`re not planning anything yet per se, but I have a feeling your brother is testing the waters."

"And how is he testing them?"

"By asking me what kind of a ring I would like, was I to get married, things like that. We`ve also discussed our parenting styles, agreed on rules applying to the children…"

"So you`re pretty much planning the future together then?"

"I believe so," I sighed, "I might have competition though when it comes to my man."

"Competition?"

"Rachel told me that she`s gonna marry Edward when she`s a big girl."

"Aha!" Alice laughed, "She has great taste in men like her mom, I`ve got to hand it to her! So, you see, even your daughter feels it`s taking you two a bit long to make decisions and she decided that if not you, then she would marry Edward herself!" She joked.

I shook my head.

"To keep things in the family," the blue-eyed girl continued.

"Not a chance," I sang, "If there`s _anyone_ marrying your brother, Alice, it`ll be _me_. _I _will keep things in the family," I giggled and felt a tingling sensation in my heart almost calling myself a Cullen.

My friend smiled sweetly in response, glancing at another photo on the screen, "You act like a family and you definitely look like one. I hope you don`t mind my saying that Bella, but if I didn`t know I would have sworn Edward was the girls` father. Rachel is a spitting image of him and Sophie although she looks very much like you… just look at her expressions, her smile, the way cocks her head – it`s all my brother!" She finished with a short laugh.

"I know, I`ve noticed it myself."

"I`m sorry if I tinted the girls` father`s memory…"

I stretched out my hand and placed it on top of hers, "You`re not tinting anything, Alice. I want to talk about my daughters` father with Edward first. I`ve had little trust issues before, not with Edward, but in general. Now though, your brother…" I thought for a minute, "He`s more than a wildest dream come true, you know? I`ve been breaking my own rules, getting out of my comfort zone with Edward for months now and I have never felt disappointed."

"That`s wonderful, Bella. Edward has never been so much in love and so happy, believe me. Jasper told me numerous times how highly Edward speaks of you and how he brightens up when talking about you, and that`s from a guy`s mouth. By the way, that`s a beautiful bracelet you`re wearing in this one," she pointed at the photo on the screen.

"I got it from my Dad after Rachel and Sophie were born. There were two baby shoe charms on it," I zoomed on the area of my wrist in the picture, "and last week your brother gave me this heart charm, here it is," I clicked a button and Alice smiled.

"Is this what I think it is? Our Grandma`s diamond heart? Lovely!" she mused.

"The stones sparkle like diamo… why did you say diamond heart?" I frowned.

Alice chuckled, "Because these stones are diamonds, Bella. What did you think they were?"

"Oh my god! I feel so stupid right now!" I gasped, "I admit, it _did_ flash through my mind that they could be diamonds but I chose to believe that they were cubic zirconias. It`s your family heirloom as it is, Alice, but diamonds? "

"Hi girls! How`s Rachel? Is that cough gone?" Edward was calling from work.

"It`s almost gone. She`s just tired a lot, but that`s after the cold and the travelling."

"Alright. Long lasting cough can indicate infections, so I`m glad she`s better. Make sure she`s drinking enough. I won`t see you for another day and a half, but you can call Carlisle any time; he`ll come to see you straight away."

I shook my head, "Of course, Edward. Don`t worry, I`ve known my child for as long as she`s been here; it`ll be OK."

"Bella, I`m just worried, I don`t mean to be taking over…"

"Oh dear, no, I didn`t mean it that way!"

"You did, but it doesn`t matter," I heard his short laugh, "I want to be there for them as much as you, sweetheart. If they hurt I hurt too and I don`t like it."

"Thank you. So we`ll see you tomorrow night?"

"After the double shift, yeah."

"Unless you want to go to your own place to have a good sleep? The girls will be all over you…" I drifted.

"Oh, is that a note of sadness I hear?" he mused theatrically.

"I am soooo gonna wipe that smirk off your pretty face when you get here, Mister! But honestly, I understand if you need time to rest away from us crazies."

"I can`t wait to see you all!"

"You haven`t exactly been living in your apartment a lot lately, have you?"

"Living no, loving… a bit," he added cheekily, "The shower can still remember us, Bella, and the bed calls your name each time I look at it."

"You`re making me blush again. I think we need to move you in _here_ permanently," I stated shyly, "I know it`s not the time and the way to talk about things like that over the phone but I`d love you here for good."

"Sounds tempting."

"Great. I better do some work here before my meeting. That German book for children I told you about the other day; I`ll be talking about it with the author`s agent and translator in an hour. It`s going really well and I`m excited!"

"Brilliant! I`ll call you tonight and you`ll tell me more?"

"I will. I want to talk to you about something else, too."

"Oh?"

I laughed, "Be afraid, be very afraid, Edward Cullen!"

"So? What naughty thing have I done that you wanted to talk about face to face?" He asked against my neck the following night, when the children were in bed and we had buried ourselves under our favorite blanket on the couch.

"I showed the wedding photographs to your sister."

"And? Don`t tell me we had committed some fashion crime!"

"No," I giggled, "But Alice complimented my bracelet."

"Nice. So?"

"She saw your Grandma`s heart."

"Yeah, Alice knew I had it. She got some jewellery from Grandma, too."

"She wasn`t jealous that I had it; she simply stated that the _diamond_ heart looked lovely on my wrist. Did I say _diamond_? Edward, I`m no expert; I thought they were some crystals, cubic zirconias. Do you realize that it`s very expensive and I had a few thousand dollars dangling from my bracelet?"

"Love, of course I know it`s expensive. I didn`t tell you the exact value because I know you wouldn`t have accepted it."

"Well, at least I wouldn`t have worn it to the wedding!"

"And why not? It is to be worn, not to be put away and forgotten. It`s a cute little piece of jewellery that my Grandfather bought for his sweetheart and now I want _my_ sweetheart to enjoy it. Come on, there are tiny diamonds on the baby shoe charms that you got from your Dad, too!"

"It`s not that I dislike diamonds, it`s just that they cost a lot of money and I need to know how careful to be," I pouted.

"Alright," he mocked me dramatically and resumed the sucking on my neck. I was going to end up with a hickey again ; -) I gleefully sank deeper under the blanket.

We were settling back into the routine when Edward informed me that he was being sent to some conference again. As if double shifts weren`t enough, they were taking my man away for five whole days!

I could stomp my feet all I wanted, but at the same time I was beginning to comprehend what a life with a surgeon would look like everyday – day shifts, night shifts, double shifts, weekends on call, emergencies, conferences, seminars, lectures…

One night Edward left earlier to see his Dad before starting one of said shifts. I was surprised to see his brother at my door half an hour later. When I saw the cab driving away I realized that Emmett was drunk.

_Oops._

I invited him inside and he apologized profusely for his state. I thought it couldn`t be that bad but he repeated himself every now and then and I knew he would be sorry for it the next day. He told me that since childhood Edward and Alice always had that special connection that he sort of envied them. He has Rose now and she`s his best buddy but he missed a `little sister` figure in his life, and he has found her in me. How could I turn him away and make him go home after that!

"So, Bella, tell me something about you that nobody knows."

"OK. Let me think… I always have two cartons of milk open in my fridge, one for the girls and guests and one for me, because I often drink it right from the carton."

"Wow, you`re one naughty girl, aren't you?" he laughed and I rolled my eyes, "Another one?"

"Oh no, now it`s your turn!" I was having fun and he wasn't going to remember a thing in the morning.

"Okay…" At a snap of a finger, Emmett`s eyes filled up with tears and he sniffed, "I love her, Bella, I love my Rose more than anything and I don't know what to do… What can I do?"

"About what, Emmett?" My forehead creased.

"I found a pregnancy test in the bathroom trash can this morning…" his oversized tears spilled out and onto the kitchen table.

"Oh," I let out. _So, that`s what this is about._

"Do you know how many tests she has done in the last few years!? And every single fucking, oh, sorry, " he looked at me apologetically and I waved it off, "Every single time the same thing happens. If she`s late for a day, she gets almost ecstatic and five minutes later it`s all over. I feel like a total failure, Bella. I would do anything to see that pregnancy glow on her face. I know she`s happy for Alice, but I also see her tears every time we come home after seeing the Whitlocks. I can`t give my wife the one thing she wants the most. We`ve tried everything under the sun, even IVF, and nothing. We are both healthy, her oven is warm and my guys are fast and aplenty, but there must be something wrong, because there are no cookies," Emmett wiped his face with his hand.

"I`m so sorry, Emmett." I smiled a bit at his metaphor and squeezed his forearm gently.

"If it comes to it, I will survive without kids, but I refuse to believe that Rose is not supposed to be a mother in this life. That son of a gun is lucky he`s already six feet under, because I swear to God if I ever found out that he did something to her that she can`t carry a baby, I would have hung him by his small, pathetic –"

"Emmett, Emmett, please, calm down…" I wasn't going to talk to Emmett about his wife`s private matters especially when he wasn't fully comprehensible and very likely would regret it in the morning.

For a second he sobered up and then smiled drunkenly again, "You don't know, but there might be little Cullens running around Phoenix right now."

"What do you mean?"

"My little brother Eddie donated his little swimmers to a sperm bank a few years ago."

I swallowed thickly, but kept it cool, "Em, that`s too much information," I tried to hide what his words were doing to me in that moment.

"Yeah, OK," he smiled sheepishly, sobering momentarily again, "I should go home."

He stood up and staggered. _Oops, if he falls, I won`t be able to pick him up, he`s way too heavy._

"Well, why don't I call a cab and you can wait for it in the living room."

He nodded, sniffed, wiped away the rest of his tears and trudged straight to the couch. I called Edward to tell him that his brother was sleeping in my house. Half an hour later he was at my door and proceeded to wake Emmett up. I told him it was alright and there was no need for him to have come over, I didn't mind his brother staying over, but he was concerned about Rachel and Sophie seeing a hangover and smelling of alcohol Emmett in my living room in the morning. He said that he had let Rosalie know what was happening and Rose would deal with her husband in her own way.

Emmett was only half-conscious when awoken, but was no trouble when Edward escorted him to the Volvo to bring him home. God love him, he was going to have one hell of a headache the next day.

Later, as I was getting ready for bed, I got a message from Rosalie apologizing and thanking me for keeping Emmett and calling his brother. I shook my head with a smile, before falling into what I knew would be a restless sleep. I dreamt about tens and tens of small children running on the streets of Phoenix and each of them had Edward`s face…

"Baby, you need to eat and drink," I tried to coax Rachel into putting more food in her mouth.

"I don`t want to. I`m tired," she complained.

I let both girls watch some cartoons while I brought the dishes to the kitchen. One of the spoons slid off the plate and spiralled down hitting the phone. I picked up the piece of cutlery and wiped the rest of tomato sauce off the receiver. I must have pressed some buttons too hard because Carlisle`s number appeared on speed dial. I turned it off but when I examined Rachel`s full glass of water I looked back at the phone and thought that maybe it had been trying to tell me something.

"Hello, Bella? How are you?"

"Carlisle, hello. I`m sorry to bother you with probably nothing, but Rachel has been very tired for the last three days. She had that cough before we went to Phoenix last week and-?"

"Does she still have it? Is it wet or dry?"

"No, she`s coughing only occasionally, but she sleeps a lot at night and is still wrecked during the day. She`s not eating well and not drinking which is worrying me. And she just developed a fever."

"Three days?"

"Yes. Edward said the other day that the cough could be masking some infection, but she`s not coughing anymore. I don`t know what it could be; they barely ever get sick."

"She could have picked up something especially with her immune system weakened from that little cold she had recently. I would like to see her, Bella."

"Show me your tongue, sweetie," Carlisle smiled at my little one and she did what he said.

He `hmm-ed` to himself, listened to her chest, pinched her nails and tummy and asked if she`d been going to the bathroom as often as usually. I told him that she wasn`t drinking and therefore not peeing much and she had a little diarrhoea the day before.

"She`s a bit dehydrated. I don`t think it`s serious, but it progresses very quickly in children. Her temperature has already gone higher from what you said she had half an hour ago. Plus I don`t like the wheezing."

"Dehydrated, my gosh, that`s bad, isn`t it? What do I do?"

"We`ll bring her to the hospital, let Gary Hobson look at her."

"Hospital?" My legs threatened to give in under me.

"It`s going to be OK. It`s the dehydration we need to take care of and find the reasons why it happened. Do you have anyone to leave Sophie with? I`m afraid she won`t be allowed in the ward."

"What time is it? Seven p.m.? My minder is out of town till tomorrow evening and my neighbors are out…"

"Esme is on a plane back from LA at the moment, but we can call Rose."

I didn`t want to cause trouble, but having no other choice I agreed to phone Rosalie. By the time I coped onto what I was supposed to do, Carlisle was already talking to his daughter-in-law. I was taken aback how fast the Cullens acted and how supportive they were of one another. Two minutes later Rose was already in her car and on the way to my house. I explained the situation to Sophie who got a bit teary, but she promised to be a brave girl for Mommy.

I packed a bag for Rachel, struggling to keep my hands steady. `My child` and `hospital` in the same sentence made me feel like I was going to throw up.

Rose patted me on the shoulder and told me not to worry about Sophie. Carlisle helped me strap Rachel in the seat of his car that was normally used by Hugo and we were on our way.

Dr. Hobson was waiting for us.

"Bella, how are you?" he asked and turned to Carlisle, "Dr. Cullen?"

"Gary, I`m suspecting mild pneumonia and dehydration…" he listed and I choked at the word `pneumonia`.

During the next half hour as my child went through her examinations and took them like a champ, I felt more and more sick. I was so angry with myself for not having recognized that there was something wrong going on and I didn`t protect her from it till she had to be hospitalized! Like I neglected her!

As it turned out Carlisle was right, Rachel had bacterial pneumonia and it was the bacteria that caused the fever and dehydration. Dr. Hobson reassured me that she was going to be absolutely fine and he wasn`t worried about the fever; that would be gone with the antibiotics and cool compresses. The dehydration was manageable as well. He wanted to make sure there was nothing else on her lungs and for that reason Rachel was going to stay in overnight. I was told that of course I was allowed to stay with her, but my system wasn`t taking it well. I don`t like hospitals, I`m not good around blood (though I was brave for Rachel when she had a needle stuck in her for a sample!) and I wanted to go home.

_Sophie there, Rachel here… Where am I meant to be now? How can I split myself in two when they`re both scared and need me? _

Rachel was so tired after all the medical attention that she didn't seem to care where she was sleeping. She hugged Mooky and let Morfeus take her into his arms. Her eyes looked better after the first dose of antibiotics and she was much less irritable.

Carlisle left to pick up Esme from the airport and Edward came to us as soon as he got the message that we were in and he had finished tending to emergencies.

"Sweetheart, sit down, you`re tired," he tried to placate me.

I sighed deeply a few times and shuffled my feet standing by the window. My eyes filled up with tears.

"I can`t believe I let it happen, Edward. I`ve been in the same house with her every day and I didn`t notice that she had pneumonia!" I gasped to myself.

I felt warm hands soothingly rubbing my arms from behind me, "Bella, pneumonia is very sneaky and it only takes a couple of days to develop. It is not your fault and nobody blames you. You are a great mom and your children have the best care one can imagine."

I shook my head again while looking out at some late visitors leaving the hospital.

"I should have seen it or sensed it. Maybe I shouldn`t have brought her to Phoenix, she had that cough…" I wondered to myself, "But it was just a cough… she felt better with the syrup and she ate and slept well, she was in good form…"

"Bella, she could have picked the bacteria virtually anywhere. Maybe it happened in Phoenix, maybe here. She could have gotten it from some child in school for all we know."

"Still, I should know, I should feel these things, Edward. Parents should have some ways of knowing, some special powers or something…" I huffed.

He turned me around to face him and took my hands in his, "But you _do_ have a power, Bella. You couldn`t see bacteria multiplying in Rachel`s body, but you reacted immediately the moment you realized that she hadn`t been taking fluids. Your _power_ is this incredible intuition that mothers have."

"Neither of my babies has stayed in the hospital before. I feel so guilty. You told me to talk to Carlisle and I turned it into a joke. Look where it brought us," I glanced at Rachel`s sleeping form.

"That`s exactly what I mean, Bella. I`m a doctor, I`ve seen and treated more patients than I can count and I didn`t see much more than a cough in a child that I know well and love so much. So, let`s not talk about blame here, OK? Rachel is fine and they just want to keep an eye on her overnight; it`s procedure more than anything else. Gary is the best paediatrician known to me and he says he`s confident to let Rachel go home tomorrow afternoon."

"I`m so glad I caught it in time."

"Children bounce back as quickly as they go down, which is great. Her temperature is down and she`s reacting to antibiotics very well. A few days of rest at home and she`ll be back to her old self."

I nodded. I knew he was right. "God, I`m really bad, ain`t I?" I tried humor, "I don`t even want to imagine what would happen if it was something serious and one of them or myself had to stay in a hospital for a week or two. And right now I don't know what to do; I want to stay here with Rachel and go back home to Sophie at the same time."

"Did you talk to Rose?"

"I did. She said Sophie was asleep. She was a little worried and asked Rose a lot of questions about Rachel and when we were coming home, but Rose managed to calm her down. She cried a bit that I wasn`t there but then Rose told her that you were here with us and you gave Rachel some medicine to make her better and that seemed to work," I smiled weakly, in pain that both my girls were sad and apart from each other and didn't understand what was happening in the big, grown up world.

"My Mom has just landed and called me. She will take over from Rose and look after Sophie tomorrow when Rose goes to work."

"They`re so good, Edward. I just can`t… I don`t know, I want my children healthy and with me. One is upset here, one upset at home and I`m helpless. I`m in flipping bits," I sobbed into his chest.

"Shhh. Honey, I promise it`ll be over soon. I see that it really got to you, I understand it`s shocking but it`s natural. Would you like me to stay with Rachel while you go home or I could go and mind Sophie; would that make you feel better?"

"No, it`s OK. Rose is wonderful, besides Sophie is asleep. But I would probably go for a while if she woke up crying."

"Of course. And please tell me if I can help in any way. I know I`m not the father, but but I`ll do whatever in my power to make it easier for you. You`re not alone, Bella."

The word `father` hit me again, along with what Emmett had told me the other day about Edward and Phoenix…

"Thank you," I stated simply, feeling some unidentified sting in my heart.

"You`ve taken on a lot raising the girls alone. If you would like to call their dad and just tell him that Rachel is unwell, to simply get it off your chest, to share the stress… I won`t mind, Bella, I won`t take it personally," he spoke softly.

"I can`t call him."

"Why not? If I were the father, even away and apart, I would have wanted to know if my child was sick," he started and then abruptly added, "I`m sorry, it`s not my place, I got carried away."

"I don`t know him, Edward," my whole being trembled as the words left my mouth.

"You don`t know whom?"

"My children`s father. I don`t know who it is."

Edward shot me a sharp look and whispered, "Bella, have you been… assaulted?"

"Assaulted? NO! God, no!" I protested, "NO. I had an artificial insemination. _On request_," I stressed.

"Oh, thank god!" I could see relief washing over his face, "For a second I thought… I`m sorry."

"It`s alright," I said cautiously, still waiting for the revelations to sink in.

"So, it was an insemination after all," he said at last.

"After all?"

"You weren`t ready to talk about it and I wasn`t going to push you, but I`ve had my suspicions."

"For how long?"

"I`m not sure how long exactly. At first I thought you split up with the father during the pregnancy. Then there was this widow theory which you denied."

"And then you thought it was Riley."

Edward laughed shortly, "Yeah. I suspected that maybe you wanted to do it on your own and asked a friend to donate semen for you."

"Whom did you consider?" I asked curious.

"Honestly? Jacob said something about you and Jack having a special connection and I put two and two together; he wasn`t involved in the raising of the children, he let you do your own thing, he was very easy and understanding when it came to your working hours, you had more money than you would have made working as a book editor, especially your irregular hours… In a way it made sense."

"In a way?"

"Bella, you`re upset and vulnerable now, I don`t want it to come out the wrong way," he hesitated.

I looked at my baby girl who was sleeping peacefully, and then I sat down on a chair. Edward took a seat opposite me.

"Don`t worry, it won`t. I started this conversation and I`m fine continuing."

"Love, I would never judge you, I want you to know that before I say anything else," he declared.

"I know, Edward, thank you. It`s just information, that`s all. Tell me, were you wondering why I would have asked Jack, my boss, a man who was old enough to be my own father, to create a child with me?"

"I was wondering what could have caused a beautiful woman like you to want to bring a child up alone when you could have men lining up outside your door to have it all with you. But you don`t owe me an explanation why you wanted a baby. I understand that this is natural, an instinct and if a woman wants a child, when she feels that pull, there`s nothing that will stop her to get it."

"Edward, remember when I told you about Martin? We were together for seven years. I was sure that he was `it` for me and that he would be my husband and the father of my children. But instead of an engagement ring he dropped his key to our apartment into my hand. I was so heartbroken and kept asking myself if I would ever be able to trust a man again. There were men interested in me along the way, but I either didn`t feel the pull at all or they didn`t seem to be looking for a commitment that I was ready for. Maybe they were just too young. All I knew was that I wanted a family; I wanted to be a mom. Long story short, I went to Angela`s clinic."

"Yeah, after learning where she worked my suspicion grew stronger."

"That she helped me to have a baby?"

"Yes. I learned that your connection with Jack was based on his health issues and not his paternity, and you also told me about the money you inherited from your relatives in Italy…" 

"So you knew that it wasn`t Jack helping me out and paying me for bringing up his children?"

"Well, yes."

"It looks like you had quite an investigation going on in your head," I said with a laugh.

"_Only_ in my head though."

"I`ve been planning on telling you for some time now. I`ve had trust issues in the past and of course this is not just about me anymore, but you and I are in a committed relationship and we`re talking about a future together; it was time."

"Thank you, Bella."

"There`s one thing though, Edward…," I squinted my eyes looking at him and rubbed my hands nervously, "When Emmett was drunk the other day, he told me something about you…"

"What is it?"

"He said that a few years ago you donated semen and there might be a child of yours living somewhere in Phoenix. I don`t know how true it is because Emmett was drunk, but making up something like that up even in a drunken state-"

"It`s true, Bella," Edward admitted, "I mean, partially true."

"Partially true?"

"It is true that I made a couple of donations, two to be specific. It happened over four years ago. Rosalie and Emmett were having problems conceiving and we spent hours talking about it over the phone. Additionally, our Grandmother was sick at that stage and we were all in a sunken mood; she was an incredible woman who gelled us together and we had a feeling that she wouldn`t be with us for long. Alice, Emmett and I were living far away from each other and we were desperate to find strength and closeness at that time. Emmett was praying for a baby so the Cullens would rejoice in the new beginning and also it would be uplifting for Grandma to know that the family was expanding, that we were moving forward. She had been devastated that she`d only had one child herself, and it pained her to see Em childless and struggling, myself single and Alice with a husband and baby but living in Europe; she`d seen the Whitlocks and Hugo twice, too weak to travel overseas."

"She was worried that you would fall apart."

"To some extent I think so, yes. You know Grandmothers; they want all their children home at the dinner table eating pie with grandbabies crawling around. It had been her dream. She couldn`t have more children after Dad and she gave him her all. She was ecstatic when my parents kept adding to the family, Grandma helped them a lot with the three of us. She thought of a close knit, loving family as the highest value in life and as she was growing weaker, I think she wanted to complete the picture of a successful life in her mind by seeing us the way she had been dreaming for us watching us grow up."

"With families of your own."

"Yes. And in regular contact with each other. So, back to the subject, Emmett had told me that the results of Rose`s examinations came clean and perfect and the doctors wanted to examine him yet again. He was convinced that something must have been wrong with him and you know Em, he`s a very proud guy, I mean any guy is, we take our sexuality and ability to reproduce very seriously. He felt like admitting defeat and I spent hours upon hours explaining to him that in many cases there is no physical fault with neither of the partners and the fact that Rose was fine didn`t mean that something was automatically wrong with him. He had been examined before and the results were good but for some reason he got it into his head that he was `guilty`."

"So, the doctors wanted him to donate sperm for testing?"

"Yes, simple as that, but he was scared of the results and what he would tell Rose. In the end I blurted out one day that if he did the tests, I would do the same in Phoenix, for support. I hadn`t really thought about it before letting the words out, but he called me the next day and said that if I kept my promise, he would do it too. I could have lied, I could have told him that yeah, I did it, but he`s my brother and I felt his pain and desperation and I decided to make an appointment."

"But you didn`t get tested in the hospital where you worked?"

"No. What if it turned out that there was something wrong with me? The news would have spread eventually…"

"You were worried that there might have been problems with your abilities to have kids?"

"Men are more fragile when it comes to that than you think, Bella. All that talk with Emmett…" he sighed, "I was trying to support him but at the same time there was this tiny thought fleeting through my own mind that what if there _was_ something with him… and because we`re brothers, what if there was something with me, too?"

"That`s silly, Edward. I can`t believe that you would think like that, especially as a doctor."

"Honey, you must understand that when it comes to these specific parts of my body I`m not a doctor, I`m a man, _just_ a man. My ego resides in my pants, OK?" He looked at me with the most defenseless expression on his face, as if he`d just told me the most vulnerable thing about himself, "So I went to a fertility clinic. Meyer Clinic."

"Meyer Clinic?" My heart thumped.

"Yes, the same where Angela works."

"But you never met her there."

"I didn`t, but there are many nurses working there."

"What about that girl, Irina?"

"Irina was working in the hospital at the time; she only transferred to the clinic after I had moved back to Seattle."

"Oh, yes, it`s confusing, sorry. I can`t believe that there was another time when you and I were so _close_, I mean in the same clinic… You know, the night when we were supposed to meet at the party? That was the night when I thought maybe I would meet the love of my life and I wouldn`t go to the clinic the next day… It was my last night before my life changed forever, as cheesy as it sounds."

"You were having the insemination done the next day? That was the doctor`s appointment you told me about?"

"Yes."

"You…" he choked out, "You and I were set up to meet the night before you became pregnant. I don`t know what to say."

"Me neither," I breathed out and looked at my beautiful baby girl again.

"What would have happened if we _did_ meet that night?"

I stared in the distance, "Are you wondering, would I have gone for the insemination the next day anyway?"

"Well, I can`t help it… It`s _us_, Bella, it`s _you _and _I_," he enunciated, "I love you. I know we joked the last time we talked about it, what if we met and didn't like each other that night, but it`s _us_, Bella. I would have loved you back then the way I love you now. The first time I saw you in Stefan`s office I wanted to know more about you straight away, I felt the attraction, the connection. I have no doubts I would have felt it four years ago, too."

"I would have felt the same way about you."

"Good; that`s good." He smiled this radiant smile that I had seen him use with Sophie before; utter love.

"But you were leaving Phoenix, Edward. It wouldn`t have worked out."

"I would have brought you to Seattle with me, Bella. You would have moved back here just a few years earlier than it really happened."

"Do you think we would have…" I struggled to turn my thoughts into words, especially with my child sleeping feet away from me.

"Been married with children?" Edward whispered, "We would have, if you only wanted it."

I tore my eyes from Rachel to the man beside me, "This is crazy thinking, it`s absolutely crazy and cruel and…"

Edward frowned and then he understood, "Oh, no, no! I didn`t mean that you wouldn`t have had the girls. They are your babies and I wouldn`t dare to tell you to imagine life without Rachel and Sophie! God knows I can`t imagine my _own_ life without them. What I mean is that maybe we would have had them a little later, maybe they would have been just a year-old now…"

"And they would have been yours biologically?"

"I think I`ve shown you clearly enough that it doesn`t matter to me that they aren`t mine, given our situation. I can`t change the past and I love them with all my heart, but if by magic I could choose for them to be my biological children, I would have gone for that option."

"I get that and I don`t want you to have to explain why you would want to have your biological offspring. That`s exactly what I did myself, I wanted to have my own child and I did what I believed I had to do to get it. But you said that what Emmett said about you fathering a child was only partially true."

"As you know, after donation the sperm is frozen for six months and then it goes through all sorts of examinations and tests. The donor is called again to provide more samples to ensure that it`s still healthy and there are no changes in the sperm that would indicate problems. Once I decided to do it, I wanted to complete the process. Emmett was fine, his swimmers as he calls them were healthy and fast and he was moving on while I was asked if I would still like to help to bring a child into the world. I kept thinking about how much my whole family wanted Rose and Emmett to have their little one and that there were so many other families like ours out there. I gave them a nod. They had an option for donors to be notified if and when their samples were used and if it resulted in a pregnancy."

"I remember."

"I checked both boxes. I had some second thoughts regarding the whole process some time later. I wanted a full family one day for myself and the thought that there may be a child of mine living near me and the two of us not knowing each other haunted me every now and then, but I was soon too busy working, worrying about my Grandmother`s failing health and organizing my transfer to Seattle. I forgot about it. By the time I got called back to give another sample for re-testing, I knew I was coming back to Seattle and the visit in the clinic was just one of the things to do before the big move. I crossed it off the list and didn`t think about it again. Some time later I received a large envelope from my former landlord in Phoenix, containing about fifteen letters from the bank, the electricity supplier and the likes which were sent to my old apartment after I was gone but before they got their notifications of the change in my address. Amongst them was a letter from the Meyer Clinic stating that my semen had been used. I was settling in Seattle and seeing my family and very sick Grandmother every day. I read the letter and stuffed it in some folder at home with the rest of the mail. I knew well that it typically takes three, four times for a woman to fall pregnant and I never got any more letters from the clinic again, so it mustn`t have resulted in a pregnancy. That`s why I said it was partially true. I donated sperm, but I don't have a biological child running around Phoenix. To make things funnier, the child would have been around your girls` age."

"Oh my, imagine that," I wondered, "It`s interesting though, I fell pregnant on the first try. I suppose I was one of the lucky ones. I didn`t discover that I was expecting until almost three months later though. I had something that resembled periods, shorter and much lighter but I put it down to all the stress and hormones I had been taking before the procedure. I had second thoughts afterwards and didn't go for another test and procedure the next month; I wanted to leave it for a while. And then at the beginning of November I felt sick and nauseous. I learned I was ten or eleven weeks pregnant."

Edward`s eyes raced up and down, left and right, "The beginning of November? When was that party again or the insemination?"

"The party was on August sixteenth, I was inseminated the day after, on August seventeenth two thousand and seven."

Something was happening to his face again, "Bella, how did you choose your donor? What did his profile say?"

_Why is he asking me…? Oh my god, does he think…?_

"Edward, when was your semen used? What date? Did the letter tell you the date?"

"I think it did, I can`t remember."

"Do you have it at home?"

"I… I probably do. Bella, are you thinking what I`m thinking you are?"

My hands shook, "I`m not sure what I`m thinking…"

"How did you decide on the donor?"

"I didn't decide. I…" _Will my mind stop racing, please! _"I found it hard to choose. I was browsing through folders getting frustrated, like I wanted to see something deeper, something beyond the man`s height, age, the color of his eyes and hair, printed on a piece of paper. I wanted to sense a feeling, some kind of connection. I read through the files and contemplated if the blue-eyed thirty-year old would have loved his child more than the brown-eyed twenty-seven-year-old. I knew he would have nothing to do with the baby, but maybe I could experience this fuzziness reading a particular man`s profile and that would be a sign. Angela knew more or less who I wanted. The eye and hair color didn`t matter to me. I wanted a healthy baby, that`s all. She sent me to another room to calm down. Another nurse worked there, putting some folders away. They were the folders of the donors whose sperm had just been through the quarantine and it was accepted to be used. She joked that they were the `fresh bloods`. I glanced at the pile and there on the one on top was a number. It was an evidence number used in the clinic, but from where I stood, it was the reverse of the date of my birth."

"The date of your birth?"

"Uhm. I took it as a sign. I called Angela and asked her to open it and tell me if that man matched my general criteria. She said yes and I had my donor. I have no idea how much Angela remembers what she read in that profile back then, but all _I_ know about my childrens` father is number eight, seven, nine, one, three-"

"One, nine," Edward finished.

My head snapped up to him.

"Bella, I`m not sure how, but I know this number… When we were in Phoenix last week and I started putting the pieces together I meant to check that letter at home, but didn`t have the guts to do it. It`s impossible, isn`t it? It can`t be that it was _you_ who used my…"

I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

"You must have gotten documents after the insemination. Do you remember what they say about the donor? The age, the eye color… Would they by any chance match… mine? God, I don't even know what I`m talking about," he said exasperated.

"I didn`t read them. I knew that the clinic had all the information in their database and since I had decided to use a stranger`s sperm then I wanted him to remain a stranger to me. I didn`t want to find out that he had brown eyes and then walk around town and freak out at the sight of any brown-eyed man. It all sounds reasonable and straight forward beforehand, but once that baby is in your arms all you want is to share the experience, the excitement, the love. I had been warned about those feelings. I didn`t want to allow myself to create a fantasy, to make up a world where this brown-eyed, blond or red-haired man existed and I`d be looking for him in the real world. I can`t even name what I felt when Rachel sat on her own for the first time or when Sophie said her first word and I was the only one proud and happy. I so wished _he_, whoever he was, could have been there to see it all. I was glad to make a clean cut and know nothing about that man. It was healthier for me. When I got my copies of the papers, I burned them. I only remember the evidence number."

For a moment neither of us said a word. When I came out of my haze I realized that I was sitting directly beside Rachel, touching her hand. I didn`t notice that I had moved my chair closer to her as I was talking to Edward.

Edward.

The light coming from the lamp in the corner of the room reflected the bronze in his hair. I knew that hair color very well from the little girl lying in the hospital bed inches from me. My baby girl. _Mine._

"Edward-"

"Bella, are you OK?"

I nodded. I think.

"I want you to stay here and wait for me," he said in a shaky voice, "I`m gonna go home for that letter from the clinic."

I`m not sure how long it took before it dawned on me that I was alone with Rachel. I missed Sophie. I felt like something big was happening, either some walls were closing down on me or the space around was expanding and I was falling. Either way, I was suffocating and I wanted to run, take my babies and run.

A nurse came in and asked if I was alright. I must have looked pale or something. I told her I was worried about my daughter. She told me that Rachel was doing very well and she gave me a pill to calm down and a glass of water.

Time must have passed but to me it felt like everything stood still. A familiar scent entered my nostrils and I lifted up my head to see Edward.

He bore a somber expression on his face and a simple white envelope in his hand.

"I`m sorry I dozed off," I said woozily.

Edward said quietly re-taking his chair and moving it beside mine and handed me the letter, "Do you want to open it?"

I tried to breathe in deeply and calm down, but the air only entered my lungs in shallow gasps.

I unfolded the sheet of white paper. Two things stood out immediately, as if they were written in blood. A number and a date.

"Sir," I read out loud to the both of us, "We wish to inform you… your semen sample… has been used…. on August seventeenth, two thousand and seven… Your donor number is eight, seven, nine, one, three, one, nine… In the event of pregnancy resulting from the procedure you will be notified by a letter posted to the same address provided by you… Should you require any further information…"

I couldn`t read anymore. The sounds of my folding the paper back pierced through my ears like thunderstorm.

"Bella, tell me it`s good news to you, please," I heard a voice, "Bella, please, breathe and tell me what you`re thinking."

Rachel wriggled and that brought me out of the cloud. I looked at Edward. He was watching Rachel with the softness that he always has with the girls, but… there was so much more to it in that instant. Like that first time, in the delivery room… That first second, first look… the first time a father sees his child.

_Such wonder in his eyes… _

"It`s good news," I let out somehow unconsciously, "the best."

"We`re both a little shocked," he said, his eyes never leaving Rachel.

"I`m so sorry," I looked at him shaking away the haze, "Edward, of course it`s good news, it`s… wonderful isn`t it? I`m just suddenly lost for words…"

"I know; so am I," he smiled.

"What are the odds? I have been fantasizing about you being the girls` father pretty much since we`ve met, but never in a million years would I have suspected that it was true."

He stretched his hand towards Rachel but stopped when he saw me clutching her little hand and shooting him a dagger of a look. I couldn`t explain what made me do it; instinct perhaps?

I had to make a conscious effort to relax.

"Can I touch her?" He asked.

I nodded a `yes`, "I`m sorry for my reactions. You`re right; I`m in shock and acting on instinct."

"I understand."

Then he reached for the corner of the duvet on Rachel`s bed and pulled it over her tiny foot that had been sticking out.

"Hello?" A male head popped in the door.

"Dr. Hobson," I acknowledged the man.

"Gary, Bella, just Gary," he smiled, "How is our patient doing?"

"She`s OK, fast asleep," I answered, somewhat happy that the `normal` life was going on around me and I could participate in it.

"That`s good. She`s a great girl. Bella, I have her test results," he said to me and glanced at Edward, "Edward, I know you realize that technically it should be the parents only present here… Of course, I don`t mind if it`s OK with Bella."

"I know, Gary," Edward said, "I have the right to be here."

Dr. Hobson squinted his eyes.

And then I heard the words for the first time from Edward`s mouth, "Rachel is my daughter."

After two seconds, Dr. Hobson regained his composure and informed us both in a professional manner that the results of Rachel`s examinations were clear; her lungs were fine, her blood was good, there was nothing to worry about. She would need plenty of rest and would recover quickly.

As we were standing there, the three of us, I was feeling emotions that I had never felt before. I was astounded and in a daze but when Edward`s arms almost touched mine while we talked to the doctor I felt… relieved… and calm, for the first time since the day I found out I was going to be a mother. The sensation that I had so longed to feel was here, just like that. It was more perplexing than wonderful though. I still wanted to run. I wanted to find myself in a quiet, secluded place where I could gather my thoughts and put them in some kind of order. In my dreams, when I imagined that Edward was my babies` biological father I was happy, I was ecstatic, delirious. But now I was only oscillating somewhere between disbelief and joy.

No sooner than Dr. Hobson left our room Edward got paged to his ward. I read a text from Rose who said that Sophie was fine and asleep. I texted back with the good news on Rachel. I lay on the bed beside my little angel and succumbed to sleep, exhausted.

"Bella," I heard Edward`s voice after what felt like merely half a second later.

"Huh?" I opened my eyes to see sunshine breaking through the thick curtains.

"Sweetheart, I have to go now. I just wanted to say goodbye. I need to go to the airport."

I sat up and looked around. _No, last night wasn`t a dream._

"Huh? Oh, OK, sure."

Edward sat beside me and gently took my face in his hands, "Bella, I love you so much. I`ve tried to get out of this convention, but it was too late and the hospital couldn`t find anyone to take my place. I know I`m going away at the worst moment, but maybe we will both be able to think things through, to come to terms with what we have discovered. I`ll see you in five days, alright? I love you, all three of you. You are my girls, remember that. Rachel just needs to take her antibiotics and rest, that`s all, but you can call Carlisle or Gary day or night if you feel unsure about anything."

"OK, thank you."

"Gary will talk to you soon."

"What time is it?"

"Six forty five. I`m sorry I woke you up."

"No, no, it`s OK. I should call Rose and ask how Sophie is doing."

"I don`t know what time exactly Rachel will be released. Just let Mom know if you want her to collect Sophie from school, OK? You may not make it before two o`clock."

"If we`re released at a decent time I will leave Rachel home with Maggie or Siobhan for a while and pick up Sophie myself, and if not then I`ll ask your Mom to take Sophie home and wait there for me and Rachel. But your Mom doesn`t have a key to my house, Edward."

"I`ll leave mine with you," he detached the key that had given him some time earlier from the bunch on the keyring and placed it in my hand, "Here. I`ll ask her to drive by the hospital to collect it from you. In case of some mix up neither of you will be left stranded and without a key."

"Good idea."

"Alright," he sighed and looked at me again, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"It feels strange, doesn`t it? With what we know…"

"Edward, I need to go back to Phoenix."

"Go back?" He sounded like he`d been slapped across the face.

"Oh no, not for good; just to think… I need to go to the clinic, look at the files… talk to people… I need some time, Edward."

"Can we talk about it when the convention is over?"

"No. I want to go as soon as Rachel feels better. This is nothing against you, I swear. I have a massive mess in my head and heart and I have to take care of it all right where it started."

"When will I see you then?" His voice cracked.

"I don`t know, two weeks?"

"Two weeks?!"

"Edward, it won`t be that bad –"

"Bella, you`re taking my children away, how is that NOT bad? I just… got them back, I haven`t even seen Sophie after last night and…" he breathed out heavily, "OK, let`s calm down here. I will call you every day." The last sentence sounded like a hard statement rather than a question.

"Sure."

"And you`ll let me talk to the girls."

"I will. Edward, I`m not breaking up with you, I told you, I want to look at the documents, talk to Angela…"

"Make sure that I`m really the father, that we haven`t overlooked anything and jumped into some mad conclusions?"

"What are you talking about, of course not! I don`t have any doubts, Edward."

"Then what does it feel that way?"

"Maybe because we are both confused? Maybe because it`s dawning on us and we don`t know how to put it together yet?"

"I hope you`re right."

He pressed his warm lips to my forehead, and then walked to still sleeping Rachel, and while smiling gently he ran his fingers through her bronze locks and kissed her forehead as well.

"Get better, baby girl. I`ll see you soon. Be good for Mommy."

I crawled back to bed. Rosalie called half an hour later and she put Sophie on the phone to say good morning. My sweetie inquired about her sister`s health and when she would see us. I told her as much as I knew and promised to see her later in the day. I had this urge to tell her that in several days someone else would be coming back home too, someone special, someone I had wanted to give her for so long… The right words weren't there though. I was almost scared to say it out loud, not because I didn`t like it, but because it terrified me that once I`ve said it, it would disappear. Last night I was handed something beautiful, but so fragile that I needed to learn how to handle it.

"Mommy," little voice called from the hospital bed.

"Yes, my love. Good morning, how are you feeling today?"

"Where`s Fifi?"

"Fifi`s in school, baby, but Mommy`s going to bring you home later and we`ll see Fifi then, OK?"

"Why?"

"Why? Because you don`t have a cough anymore. The doctor gave Mommy some medicine for you and you`ll feel a lot better. But he also said that we all need to remember to drink lots of water and juice and milk."

"OK."

"Would you like a drink now, lovie?"

"Yes."

"Wonderful," I turned to the side table to pick up a small carton with a cartoon character on it, "Here, you can have some juice now and when we get home we will have some pink milk, how about that?"

"OK!" She laughed happily. I smiled and looked into her beautiful eyes, just like father`s.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25 BPOV**

**WOMAN TO WOMAN, MOTHER TO MOTHER**

Edward had gone to the convention and I felt like a fish out of water. I couldn`t sleep, I couldn`t eat and my head was spinning from the amount of thoughts that were bombarding me minute after minute after minute…

Rachel was doing very well and after three days no one would have thought that the child had been dehydrated and was recovering from pneumonia. I was working from home and keeping an eye on both of my babies. Sophie went to school for two days and each time she brought home tons of pictures that she had drawn for her sister. The teachers also told me that although Sophie was in good form, it was clear that she missed her Chichi an awful lot. For the next few days I kept her at home as well but in order to give Rachel a chance to sleep and just mooch around the house, Kate and I took turns bringing Sophie out shopping, swimming and to the park, while the other one stayed at home with the recuperating `patient`. It was lovely to be able to spend time with the girls separately. There are plenty of similarities between them but also quite a few differences; they like to engage in different activities and games and it was good to give them what they needed. And being with them one at a time, I found myself looking for Edward in them, for similarities in their looks, behavior, mannerisms. I was thrilled and scared at once; thrilled that there was so much of their… _dad_ in them and scared because in my mind, each of those little things took a tiny part of my children away from me. I knew it was ridiculous thinking, but the shock still had a pretty strong hold of me.

As unaware as they were, both Sophie and Rachel kept feeding my pity party whenever Edward`s name popped up. And pop it did often. His clothes and other belongings were permanent features in our house, which brought him to mind on a regular basis, especially now that he was away and the girls missed him like he was a physical part of themselves. Well, actually, he _is._ If one thinks that young children don`t know what time it is, one should think again, because my daughters may argue that it isn`t time for bed, but they know exactly that it is time for Edward`s phone call! Their favorite cartoon characters could have moved in with us and my little monkeys wouldn`t have noticed when they sensed that the familiar ring was just a moment away. Right after dinner they would both start glancing at the phone and fidget while pretending to be focusing on whatever else they were doing. _Nothing _was more important. Each time I prayed that Edward would find a moment to say hello and goodnight to them, otherwise they would be heartbroken. He never failed. I would put him on speaker so both girls could hear him and talk to him at the same time. They told him about their day one over the other and he kept the conversation going by asking them plenty of questions. The little ones danced around the room as he told them funny nothings to make them laugh. One time he said that in the hotel room where he was staying someone had left a book that he knew from when he was a little boy, "Where the wild things are". My heart sank and my eyes filled with tears as Rachel and Sophie sat down quietly and Edward read to them over the phone. Afterwards they told him that they loved him and asked when he was coming back home. _Back home…_ It didn`t faze me anymore how natural his presence in their lives was to them. In my daughters` minds Edward`s home was where they were, where _we_ were. They probably didn`t realize, but the pauses between his short answers left no doubt to me that he had to breathe deeply and try to compose himself before uttering words without sounding shaky. I knew better though. If that were me hundreds of miles away, I would have been climbing up the walls right now, and I didn`t have to guess too much to know that Edward felt like something had been ripped out of him alive.

He called me again once when the children were in bed.

"So, what`s the plan then, Bella? When are you flying to Phoenix?"

"I was considering staying. I can ask Angela to make copies of the documents and send them to us…"

"I don`t think this is only about the documents, Bella. There`s something about you, like you need to find peace with yourself."

I froze for a while, unable to speak.

"Are you there?"

"Yes, I am… I`m just amazed how well you know me. But you`ll be back in a couple of days, I don`t want to do that to you, Edward. I know how you`re feeling and how much you want to see the girls."

"Sweetheart, I want to see all three of you, not only the girls. Secondly, I really think you should go; maybe talk to Angela, to your mom, just think about it all. I`ll be here when you get back. Do you think Rachel can go? Is she well enough?"

"She`s in a flying form. You wouldn`t believe this child was in hospital a few days ago."

"Good. If you still want to fly the day after I`m back… I could stay with the girls if you wanted to go alone. It`s just a suggestion. I suspect you would like to bring them with you though?"

"Thank you, but no, I don`t really want to part with them now."

"I understand."

"I apologize, Edward. I know how hard it is for you."

"It`s OK. You don`t have to apologize for the way you feel. Go to Phoenix, see the people you need to see, do what you need to do… Just come back, please?"

"Of course I`ll be back," I attempted a chuckle, "My life is in Seattle now. And yours –"

"_You_ are my life now, Bella. You and the girls, wherever you are."

Edward`s `blessing` calmed me down and convinced me that the trip to Phoenix would bring me closure. I booked our tickets for a day after his return so we could see each other before mine and the girls` departure. I felt a sharp twinge in my heart when he called to tell me that his flight had been cancelled and the next available flight he could take was scheduled for the following day. We weren`t going to meet up beforehand after all…

A few days later as I drove to the Meyer Clinic, I couldn`t help but remember how all this `mess` began four years ago.

_It was the beginning of June. The ridiculous amount of my inheritance money had just been lodged onto my account and, like a true multimillionaire, I went to… a coffee shop, to celebrate with a friend. Mind, we both got LARGE lattes and lemon and poppy seed muffins, so there!_

"_So, are you still going to buy a house?" Angela asked me while stirring sugar into her coffee with a thin wooden stick._

"_Yeah, I think so," I said, taking the paper case off the muffin._

"_You aren`t exactly jumping for joy despite all the financial freedom you have just gained. What`s the matter?" Angela waved her finger at me with a gentle, concerned smile._

_I sighed and smiled back, "Do you remember when we were sitting here two months ago talking about winning the lottery and what we would do with the money?"_

_Angela rolled her eyes with a giggle, "I do. I said I would travel the world and you wanted a house and a baby."_

"_A baby," I repeated after her, "I said if I had a lot of money, I would first buy a house and second, I would run to a sperm bank…" I looked away and bit my lower lip. Angela gasped loudly from across the table._

"_Bella," Angela put he__r hand on mine, "I have seen wonderfully happy people leaving our clinic…"_

"_So, you don't think it`s a stupid idea of a lonely, neurotic woman?"_

"_No," she stated matter-of-factly and after a thought she added, "Can you count, Bella?"_

"_Um…__ yes?"  
_

_"Then count on yourself."_

"_What do you mean exactly?"_

"_I mean that life doesn`t always follow certain scenarios and we can`t predict what will happen to us next, but I`ve always trusted my instincts and have never been disappointed. I know how much you have wanted a child and for how long. You can have that dream now. The decision is yours."_

"_What if I decide to wait for the so-called love of my life that may never happen, by the way, and end up not only without a special man but also never having the experience of being a mom?"_

_Angela raised he brows, "As I said, the ball is in your court. I have known you for years and will spare you the usual pep talk. You`re a mature, grown-up woman, healthy, educated, intelligent and now you don't even have to work a minute in your life anymore. You have a heart of gold and that`s what a child deserves. We`ve been there before, Bella, you know that I think that one parent can give a child as much love and support as two; it is possible, I have seen it happen."_

"_Thank you. I want to do it, Angela. I want to have a baby."_

"_Come to the office tomorrow morning. I`ll make some arrangements. You`ll need some examinations done and then we`ll decide when to do it."_

_All of a sudden it was go, go, go for Angela. I was only entertaining the idea, whereas she was quick and professional. She didn't push me into anything, in fact after I had been approved for insemination, she urged me to go to a psychologist and think it all through again. I wrote down a life plan. I thought about my job, a nanny, a support network, everything that a parent would think of. And if a special man came along, great, the baby and I would consider letting him into our world and be a family. I learned that the sperm bank would keep the details of the father for medical reasons. Of course, I would never know the identity of my child`s father and he would have no parental rights. _

I parked my mom`s car outside the clinic and watched the people going in and out, a young couple, a single woman, a young single man, possibly a donor… Did Edward look like that guy when he came here four years ago, scooting out of the building, checking his watch and jumping into his vehicle, on the way to the next engagement? Was he aware that the moment I used his semen, he became a father?

I loved him. I loved him more than I could say and it would take forever to show. He was my heart and soul, he was a part of my own body. As much as the girls made me feel complete and whole, I was whole as a mom. As a woman it was Edward and Edward only, who could fulfil me. What if he left? My family wasn't just the girls and I anymore and that was what shocked me.

Would a different man be less an important part of us now? No! I believe that it is love that makes us families and not biology. I believe that love breaks the hardest walls and builds the strongest bridges. I believe that there is nothing more important and more beautiful in this world than sharing life with the people you love. If it had turned out that I couldn't carry a baby, I would have adopted a child and I would have loved my little angel like nobody else.

Had Edward and I got together, had our babies and then for some reason it turned out that he wasn't the girls` father, I`m sure I would have been shocked initially, but in the end he wouldn't have been their dad any less than before. However, with us it was the other way around and it`s not the situation itself; the issue is with me. It`s my perception of the circumstances. It doesn't hurt me that Edward is the girls` biological father. What hurts me is all the wonderful things that he has missed, that _we_ have missed together.

I thought of the first moments of our daughters` existence. They were created in a quiet, sterile room to the sound of my own heartbeat and the doctor`s calm voice. There was no me wrapped in the wonderful warmth of Edward`s skin, our hearts frantic and excited, with his voice whispering `I love you, I love you, I love you…" into my ear while his beautiful body pushed into mine…

I pushed the door open and stepped inside the building.

"Bella!" Angela`s smile reached me from across the hallway. She waved at me and I marched towards her like I did, a little scared and unsure, but excited, four years earlier, to become a mother.

"Hi, Ang, how are you? You look wonderful. I`m gathering married life is great?" I attempted a joke.

"It`s awesome! I totally recommend it! But enough about me for now; let`s get down to business. I certainly wasn`t expecting to see you so soon again," she admitted, motioning for me to sit at a desk. She pulled a chair and sat beside me.

"Neither did I."

"So, tell me what you know."

I handed her the envelope that Edward had left me.

"Angela," I said, "I have no doubts that Edward is the girls` father; I just want to… I don't know, see the documents or something. For the sake of it, that`s all. And if Edward ever wanted to adopt the girls, the documents would be necessary."

"Sure, you don`t have to explain a thing to me. I would have done the same thing if it was Ben."

"Your kids are the spitting image of their father; there would have been no doubt who they belonged to. Which is not bad for a newlywed couple, two children already," I joked.

"Yep, we`re not your usual newlyweds," she chuckled clicking on the mouse and opening some files on the computer, "First we had a honey_week_ instead of a

honey_moon_, but no worries, it was _very_ sweet and loving and don`t make me blush," she laughed again, "and then straight back to work and school runs and homework and football practice and stuff."

"But you`re happy," I noticed.

"You bet I am! Oh, there it is. Number 8791319," she said out loud focusing on the screen, "We got two samples, one at the beginning of February 2007 and the following one in August the same year. The first sample was released to be used on August 13th and used on recipient 1615006 on August 17th 2007."

"Correct; sixteen, fifteen, double `0`, six, that's me."

"Alright. Six foot tall, brown hair, green eyes, white Caucasian, age thirty with first sample and thirty one with the second. So Edward`s birthday is between February and August?"

"June twentieth."

"Perfect. Highest level of education: university, Ph.D."

"Wow," I said quietly. I knew it was all true but hearing it for real made it sink in even deeper.

"I`ll bring you the whole folder to see..." she looked at me with a smile.

"Ang, Edward only received this one letter," I pointed to the paper on Angela`s desk, "He never got the one saying that the insemination resulted in pregnancy. He told me that's what he had asked for. He didn`t get a letter so he presumed that the procedure didn`t work."

"The files on the computer have only basic information. Let me get the original paper documents with Edward`s name and signature on it and we`ll see what happened, OK?"

I was left in the room alone. In a matter of minutes I would see a piece of my children`s history, Edward`s and mine history. The conflict inside me picked up again but the calm spells were becoming longer than the panicky ones.

"I have them," Angela re-entered the room and closed the door, "All the information about the communication between the donor and the clinic will be here as well."

"Angela, I have another question," I began weakly.

"Yes?"

"Are you allowed to tell me if the second sample was used as well? I mean, if Edward didn`t get the letter about the pregnancy then what if the second…"

"You`re asking whether the second sample was used and resulted in a pregnancy?"

I swallowed thickly, "Yes."

"Bella, let`s recap. Every sample is tested and frozen for six months. Then the donor supplies another one and the two are compared and tested yet again before the first one can be resealed for insemination. The second sample would be frozen just like the first one but in case of no follow up, I mean no consecutive sample for comparative retesting it cannot be used and is destroyed unless the donor advises us otherwise." 

"So, you mean I took Edward`s first sample, but the second one was never used?"

"It was never released for usage, because he didn`t provide another one for comparison."

"I`m sorry, I`m sure you told me all of this, but I can`t remember at the moment."

"No problem. Some men come here every month but the sperm isn`t used right away. It has to go through that half-a-year quarantine."

"I see."

I opened the folder and instantly recognized Edward`s handwriting on the forms. All the information was correct and as I glanced at the last page, Edward`s full name and his signature made me smile to myself. Angela watched me as I traced it with my finger.

"At the back, here" she added quietly, "is the information used by the clinic only. You can have a look."

As I turned the page, a sealed envelope fell out of the folder`s back pocket. It was addressed to Edward in Phoenix, on November tenth. His name was crossed out and the `return to sender` scribbled on the front of it.

"This must be the letter about the pregnancy," I said to Angela, "Edward was already living in Seattle at that time and he never received it."

"It was probably the new tenant in his old apartment who returned it to us."

"Uhm," I nodded.

The clinic records stated that the letter was returned on November twenty fifth. There was also a brief letter from Edward stating that his second sample would be the last one provided and after that he would no longer participate in the program. That second sample was destroyed at the end of February two thousand and eight. There was also information about two healthy females born as a result of the pregnancy in May the same year. I smiled.

I came back to Mom`s house just before lunch, clutching copies of all my and Edward`s documents from the clinic. I felt light and then heavy, one minute I was laughing, another I wanted to sob in a pillow.

I put Rachel down for a nap and Renèe took Sophie out to the donation center to bring some clothes and toys that had been still hiding in her house from when the girls were babies. Sophie was a brave girl giving her old toys away to other children and Grandma promised her that they would bake cookies as a treat later.

I sat down quietly on a sofa and took the papers into my hands yet again. It looked like Edward and I had made our babies on paper, as a contract. It made me laugh and cry at once.

I was gaining clarity. Over the past few days I had been going through motions and it was exhausting, but who`s to say what I`m supposed to feel? My perception was slowly changing and I thought that Edward had been right saying that I needed that trip to find peace. I had a feeling that things were going to change, but not around me as much as within me.

"Mommy, why you crying?" A little voice broke through my misery. Rachel was standing right beside me, her eyes still heavy with sleep, "I`ll be a good girl, Mommy."

_Shit, I`m upsetting her._

"Oh baby, you are the _best_ girl! This is not your fault at all," I smiled weakly and ran my hand through her bronze hair, "Mommy`s just a little sad but I`ll be alright."

She scrambled up into my lap and snuggled against my chest, "Do you miss your mommy?" She asked innocently but seriously.

I decided to go with it, "Yes, I miss my mommy a little bit."

_And I miss Daddy, baby. Your Daddy._

"Don`t worry, she`ll be back really soon, OK?"

"OK," I agreed and kissed the top of her head, "Thank you for being so kind, lovie."

I reckoned she replayed a scene from school, with unsure children crying for their parents and the teachers reassuring them that they would be picked up soon. Thank god for the innocence of nearly-three-year-olds!

We played for a while and waited for Renèe and Sophie. As we went about the day my mother watched me carefully again. I was grateful and suffocating at the same time. Before dinner Phil took the girls out to get some ice cream. Mom and I were left alone and while the chicken roasted in the oven, we sat down next to each other.

"How are you doing today, baby?" Mom asked me cautiously, as if I were in some intense therapy.

"I`m OK. I feel stronger."

"Bella, please know that I am here and ready to listen if you need me to. I`m not going to judge you, you know that, right?"

"Thank you, Mom."

"Did you talk to Edward?"

"Yes. He called me to say that he had told his family about the paternity."

"OK," Renèe started, "And how did they react?"

"They`re surprised and astounded, but happy."

"Of course they`re happy; what`s not to be happy about? Your situation is unusual, surprising and shocking, but it`s _good_ shocking, fantastic shocking, truth be told!"

"I know, but it has turned my world upside down. I`m trying to put that jigsaw all together again and some moments are great and some are… not so good. I`m analyzing my whole life right now, it`s mad."

"Tell me what you feel, Bella. Talking through helps," my usually erratic mother spoke like a professional.

"After Martin, I had such a hard time thinking about relationships..."

"I recall," my Mom nodded.

"I believed I`d be better off on my own and relying on myself only. Every attempt at dating ended in disappointment; it either wasn`t for me at all or I ruined the chance by not trusting the man. I never stopped wanting a family though and that longing only grew in me. One day Angela and I were talking about what we would do if we had a lot of money and I said I would buy a house and get an insemination. We laughed about it but when merely weeks later Aunt Daniela`s will was announced, Angela joked that I should bring her along house hunting and we would choose a nice hot daddy for my baby at her clinic."

"I remember it all. I didn`t know what was happening to you. I thought you`d be happy with all the fabulous possibilities that the money brought to you, but you seemed so sad and nervous and stressed out…"

"I was angry with the world and myself that now I could afford to raise a child, but did I still want it on my own? It wasn`t supposed to be that way. If a child didn`t need a father then nobody in the world would have had a father in the first place, isn`t it right?"

Renèe nodded lightly in agreement. We`d discussed it many times after she had learned how my pregnancy came to fruition, but I was glad that she was letting me pour it all out again.

"It seemed easy as a fantasy but when I _could_ have a child on my own I began thinking about what it would mean to me and the baby. Was I just being a selfish woman who wanted to buy herself a little person as her newest accessory? What did it mean to me to be a mother, what would it do to the baby, not having a dad… Would I be able to fill in the role of two parents? Is it possible to be a mom and a dad at the same time? I was brought up by you only and I reckon I turned out quite alright," I let out a short, weak laugh.

"You`re my perfect girl, Bella, always."

"Thank you, Mom," I smiled and let her take my hand in hers, "That conversation with Angela kept haunting me and my maternal instinct was getting stronger by the day. In the end I concluded that I wasn`t an egoistic bitch and didn`t want a child for my own entertainment. I had plenty of money and I didn`t get a yacht, I didn't get a flashy car, I didn`t get a boob job and I didn`t even quit working. And bringing a human being into this world on my own couldn`t exactly count as buying a new toy. I went through with it, but those doubts never left me. I didn`t have a warm male hand to touch my pregnant stomach and coo to the babies. I was so happy when they started kicking and felt so sorry for them, for myself and for that man who wasn`t with us, that we weren`t experiencing something so pure and precious together. I was aware that it had been my choice to do it alone, but it doesn't mean that I didn`t have regrets and didn`t suffer the consequences. I knew it wasn`t going to be easy and I had been warned that I would have many moments of doubt."

"When you told me about the insemination I freaked out at first, not because I didn`t want you to have your baby, but because I was terrified…"

"I know. You were terrified that I would have post partum depression and no support, like you."

"Well, it wasn`t that I didn`t have any support; I just wasn`t diagnosed, that`s all. It was many years ago and many women suffering after childbirth were simply seen as immature, bad mothers. There was a big stigma attached to it; how could a mother not feel like smiling and boasting about her baby? I remember looking at you, so small, so sweet and innocent and I felt helpless against the `big, bad world` out there. It took me a long time to get back on my feet and believe in myself as a mom. When I saw you pregnant and alone I was scared for you and for your _two_ babies."

"You`ve been so wonderful to me and the girls, Mom; you and Phil both."

"You know, I understood that no matter how easy and perfect someone`s life looks, we all have worries, we all have fears. It`s good though. You had doubts about how you children`s lives would turn out because you love them and because you care. And you`re trying to be the best mom you can be. No-one who knows you, Bella, would ever question your love and devotion to your children. Full families as they call them can be hell to live and function in, and _single_ parents don`t mean _bad_ parents, we both know that. Single parented home is in no way less full than one with both a mother and a father. Children want to know that they are loved, cherished and accepted and it can be by ten people or it can be by only one person. It`s about quality, not quantity."

"Amen," I laughed.

"But we`re steering away from the subject, Honey," Mom patted my hand, "Tell me how you feel about Edward`s paternity. No mother-daughter, just woman to woman, OK?"

I nodded with a small pool of tears building up in my eyes at the sound of Edward`s name, "I had never, _ever_, expected that I would love someone like that, Mom. While planning the pregnancy and the life for me and my baby, I only took the two of us into account obviously. I never ruled out a man in our life and never said I didn`t want anyone anymore, but the fact that I consciously and deliberately chose to become a single parent created this special, unbreakable bond between me and the baby. I didn`t know what the future held for us, I wasn`t planning on looking for a daddy for my little one. All I knew was that there would be two of us, my baby and I. We were going to be a family and if anyone ever joined us, we would open our arms and hearts to him, but the basic union was going to be the child and I. My being the grown up would mean that _I_ would make decisions for our family and you know yourself, this is not always a walk in the park."

Mom listened intently with a gentle, understanding smile.

"I was scared to death when I found out I was carrying twins. My time, my love, my efforts were going to have to be divided between two babies who would be completely dependent on me. Life raised the bar very high, but I was determined I would get through it and I was happy that the children would have each other in the future. Two babies and one of me was a serious business and I wouldn't have done it without you and Phil. However even with the two of you it was always _me _who made decisions regarding the girls. I was responsible for their lives, their health and their wellbeing. I was given the control and I`ve been doing my best to prove that I was worthy of my girls. Edward came into our lives as a beautiful stranger. All three of us fell in love with him and as I was learning more and more about him, I started fantasizing about a future together, with him as the girls` daddy… I was over the moon seeing Rachel and Sophie loving him so much and Edward caring for them more than in my dreams. I even imagined how wonderful it would have been if he had been the girls` father. Everyone around commented on how much the duckies looked like him and what strong a connection the three of them had with each other. I was genuinely happy when the children didn`t seem to notice me when Edward was around. They had the daddy that I had always wanted for them. I loved the fact that he wanted to be involved in their upbringing; we even discussed our parenting strategies. It was wonderful that Edward wished to be their dad with all that it entailed. Still, deep inside me I thought of the girls as a little bit more mine than his; you know, I have been there right from the beginning, I`m their mother, I brought them into this world."

"Of course," Renèe stated clearly.

"Now that we know that Edward is their biological father…" I sighed heavily and rubbed my hands together nervously, "It feels like I am losing control, like I am supposed to share the children with him. And my insides scream that my children are not some family size pizza for sharing! They are _mine_! I `shared` them with Edward for the past several months out of choice and not because it`s his biological right to them. Technically he doesn`t have any parental rights, but that`s not what this is about. We have been talking about marriage, more children together and in my mind I`ve already heard the girls saying that their name was Cullen, because Edward had adopted them. I _wanted_ him to do it, it was my choice. Now that he`s their father it seems like it isn`t my choice anymore. I have spent the last three years raising my babies alone and in my head they were all mine with the joys and the pains and now suddenly it feels like a part of it has never been mine at all."

"I know, it`s a shock to your system."

"I love him more than I ever imagined I was capable of. It`s all about coming to terms with the fact that some part of my life was never what I thought it was, it`s like I was lied to; it was a lie that the children were only mine."

"You know, Sweetie, I think you`re afraid to let go…"

"Edward wants nothing more than to take half of the responsibilities for the girls; he is eager and willing with all of his heart and soul to do his part. And I am not afraid to _let _go, I am afraid that I _can_ let go. It`s like my being can`t believe that it _can_ relax, it _can_ give away some of the control and it won`t hurt me."

My mom wiped a tear from her eye, "The responsibility for your children give you joy and pleasure, don`t they?"

"Exactly. It`s hard work, but when the girls learn something new or when I deal with their sickness I feel proud of myself, I know I`m a good mom who can take good care of her babies. I have never had to take anyone`s opinion into consideration when it came to my daughters. If I asked for advice, I listened to it, but ultimately the choices were mine. If I made a mistake, I cried, I picked myself up, I learned from it and moved on. I`ve never had to answer to anyone before and now Edward has a say…"

"Bella, I`m sure he doesn`t want to just take over and bring the girls up his own way. You two seem to have a very similar parenting style if not the same, from what I have seen. You always listen to each other and Edward would check with you if you were alright with his decisions."

"You see, that`s what I mean. As much as he loves the girls and treated them as his own before we found out about the paternity, even in his own mind Sophie and Rachel were that bit more mine than his, I still had the last word."

"And you`re afraid that now it will all change?"

"I can`t say it will for sure, but a part of me is worried what would happen if it did."

"But Edward isn`t here to _get_ you or to prove that you are a bad mother and introduce his own methods, `better` than yours…"

"On a conscious level I kind of know that, but try to reason with my heart. It feels like something is squeezing it. On the one hand is all this and on the other there is joy, happiness and absolute bliss that an amazing twist of fate like that would have happened to the two of us… That we have been connected all this time; that it was meant to be… I don`t even want to think about why we didn`t meet at that party we had been both invited to the night before my insemination. Maybe someone else would have used his semen… I don`t know, I`m not gonna drive myself crazy. All I know that a true miracle happened and I can`t believe that it`s me and Edward and our two little angels… "

"Success and happiness can be as scary as failure."

"True."

"This conversation, Bella… You need to tell Edward everything you have just told me now. You two need to talk things through. He`s not after you to hurt you, honey."

"I know. But you should have heard him before he went away, Mom. He said `Bella, you`re taking _my_ children away…` The way he said it, there was something dangerous in his voice."

"As if he was ready to go against you for the girls?"

"Almost, yes."

"And how did it feel?"

"One half of me wanted to grab the children and run away and the other half was proud and happy, because they mean so much to him that he would even fight with _me_ to be able to keep _them_ in his life."

"You see how much alike you two are? Edward wants to be a father as much as you want to be a mother. The difference between you two is that you have a womb and when you wanted to have a baby, you did. It`s not that easy for Edward. Sure he could have found a surrogate mother, but that`s not the point here. The thing is he loves Rachel and Sophie immensely. He loved them before he found out about his genetic connection with them and I have a sneaky suspicion that he had fantasized about them being his biologically as much as you had, sweetie. Now look what the truth is doing to you. You took the children and ran. You feel so protective and you feel like they`re being taken away from you so you are doing whatever your instinct pushes you to do. You are a mother and you want your children safe and happy. What you are to them, the life that you have created for them is familiar to you therefore you see it as safe. You know you can trust yourself. You aren`t sure though what Edward is going to do now with the knowledge that he has, so he`s a potential threat. I know that on a conscious level you know that he wouldn`t hurt you or the children, but we`re talking instincts here. He has just found out that he`s a father and from what you have told me he had wanted to be a father for some time; he`s ready and eager to be one. I am not surprised that at first he wasn`t happy with your decision to come here. He just got his children `back` in a way and immediately they were snatched away from him. He`s acting on instinct just like you, Bella. But he loves all three of you fiercely. My guess is he doesn`t want _your_ part in the girls` lives; he just wants _his own_ part."

I nodded with understanding.

"I`m a mom too and right now I`m feeling relief that my daughter doesn`t have to deal with everything on her own anymore; that there`s someone who loves my three darlings so much that it even scares one of them," she winked and chuckled, "And she loves him too, very much. I can see how much you miss him, Bella. You think I didn`t notice that you sleep wearing Edward`s shirt for pajamas every night?"

"I packed it by mistake. It was on the pile of clothes ready for ironing. I grabbed the whole pile and put it in the bag unknowingly."

"But you didn`t leave it at the bottom of the suitcase; you put it on every night."

I couldn`t get a single word out of my mouth.

"Rachel told me you cried when I was out with Sophie."

"She wasn`t supposed to see that. I didn`t notice that she`d woken up and was standing right beside me."

"Don`t run away like I did, Bella. Face the issues. I always thought you were much more like your father but now I see myself in you. I don`t want you to have regrets over things that could be resolved easily. I brought you up by myself and I never had to share you with anyone, so to speak, but I can relate to your fears. Whenever I had to make a big decision regarding you though, your dad was always there, he never failed. He never got to experience to be a dad on everyday basis and I learned from you how awkward he could be as a father sometimes, but he was willing to be there for you and he loved you like no other. Too bad it took me years to realize that."

"Did you ever think of going back?" I blurted out and almost choked on the last word. That was an incredibly intimate question to ask my mother.

"Honestly?" She sighed, "I did. But I thought what would people think of me; the girl who shattered Charlie Swan`s heart wanted to come back as if nothing happened and expect him to forgive and forget? I didn`t want Forks to laugh at me."

"So, you were too proud?"

"No, not proud, I was too _stupid_, Bella. I was too stupid to care what other people would think even though I had no idea what they actually _did_ think of me. It was easy to blame `them`, the unnamed people of Forks for probably not being able to forgive me for what I had done to their beloved Charlie, while in fact I couldn`t forgive _myself _for what I did to him. But it took me a long time to get through that depression I had and then I thought it was only fair to leave your dad alone. There were some women interested in him I heard and I had to let him go. He was with someone when you were a toddler and then there was another lady when you started school."

I opened my eyes widely, "I never knew that!"

"You don`t know a lot of things, baby. Those relationships didn`t last obviously, but he did try and then I had to swallow my pride and let him go completely. He was moving on."

"Dad never stopped loving you, Mom."

"You think I don't know that? Yes, he did try to build a life with other women, but I was also hearing that he couldn`t commit to any of them. Jack would go to Forks sometimes to see Sarah and Mike and when he came back he would share some gossip with me. Some people were saying that Charlie never changed anything in the house; that he had photos of me on display, and the others would say that he was too independent to want to spend the rest of his life with one woman. Not that one woman wouldn`t be enough but he was picky and no girl was good enough. I knew better, Bella. I_ knew_ Charlie and I knew that he wasn`t picky and he wasn`t scared of a committed relationship. He was hurt and I was the one who hurt him almost beyond repair. Of course he could have been happy with some other woman, but he didn`t want it. He didn`t want to be `fixed`. He`s determined, stubborn and very proud. He`s inflexible, he`s set in his ways, he`s my complete opposite. But I always loved all those traits in him. He was Charlie and that was enough. I`m happy now with Phil, but it took me ages to forgive myself. I felt like I didn`t deserve to be happy after leaving Charlie. That knowledge or rather a tiny suspicion that a little part of him still loved me, carried me through some rough times though. From time to time I still have a fleeting moment where I wonder what would have happened had I not been so stupid and tried to go back to Forks… But you`re not stupid, Bella; you and Edward will learn how to be parents together and you`ll have a beautiful life as a couple and as a family. I`m still convinced I will see you in a wedding dress soon."

I slipped Edward`s shirt on and lay in bed, the same bed that he and I had slept in two weeks earlier when we were in Phoenix for the wedding. The memories of us making love between those sheets only strengthened my deep feeling of loneliness and longing for his warm, calming arms. I wrapped myself in the softness of his shirt and closed my eyes.

Then, somewhere between reality and a dream my answer came to me. I made my decision. I was going back to Seattle with the children and Edward and I would talk about our feelings on the whole situation. We would do it _together_. I realized that coming back to the clinic and holding the original donor-recipient documents made me see things in a new way. Staying in Seattle and simply `moving on` wouldn`t have worked; that `incompletion` would have caught up with me. I needed to make sure in my own mind that what I was going to do now would come as a free choice and not as a consequence of some crazy circumstances I had found myself in. I _needed_ to go back in time in order to look forward to the future.

And my future was, hopefully, Edward.

**A/N: You`ll notice something unusual about chapters 26 and 27. Please, keep in mind the September – December chapters in "New Moon", keep calm and carry on reading ; -)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26 EPOV**

**STILL**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27 EPOV**

**ALL AND NOTHING**

…

…

…


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28 EPOV**

**LOST**

"How is she? Rachel!?" I yelled out running towards the paediatric ward with another doctor trying to keep up with me.

"Her vitals are poor, Edward. She`s slipping away… And it`s Sophie, not Rachel, Edward. There`s been a plane crash, remember? Rachel is… gone…"

_Gone… accident… plane… the girls… Rachel`s gone… Sophie`s slipping away… Bella… Where is Bella?_

My heart hammered away and as I was getting closer, my steps became slower and shorter, as if something was pulling me back. You know when you`re dreaming and you can`t run? That was it. The noises around the hospital corridor were melting into one unrecognizable sound and the faces I was passing by moved in slow motion somewhere in my peripheral vision, like an old walkman with its batteries running low.

The room at the end of the hallway grew no closer to me and when the door opened slowly, my breathing hitched and came to a stop.

My fellow doctor`s hands remained professionally still as he looked me in the eyes and without a single word informed me that Sophie didn`t make it. And then he said he was sorry… Everything was still. Time stood still. It was like feeling all and nothing at once.

I lost them. Again. I had just gotten them back and I lost them! And I never even saw Sophie after I`d learned that I was her father. I will never get another chance; I will never hold her little hands as she jumps up and down on the bed, I will never again count her toes at bedtime making her squirm and giggle adorably, and she will never ask me to be her Daddy anymore… She didn`t even know… And Rachel? Cuddling up in my arms, her hair smelling of sweet peaches… Making the biggest splashes in the puddles… Pulling me by the hand over to the stool by the piano and asking to play her a song…

"Edward?" I heard a voice from some unidentified place.

I turned to my right, only to see Bella standing there, dirty and tired and broken.

"What did you do to them, Edward? What did you do?" She accused faintly.

"Bella…" I started.

"You made them go… You _let_ them go!" Her voice was fading and as much as I wanted to run after her and scream that it was an accident and I wasn`t even there, that I couldn`t protect them, she began vanishing, like a cloud of mist.

A sharp sound startled me and my heart beat furiously. I half opened my eyes and reached for the offender – phone receiver.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, Dr. Cullen. This is Bree from the reception desk. You requested to be woken up at six thirty, sir?"

"Um," I moaned quietly, "Yeah, I mean yes, I did. Thank you very much, Bree."

"You are very welcome, sir. Have a nice day."

I turned in the bed and looked around the room. My hotel room. I was at the conference and Bella and the girls were in Phoenix.

_They`re in Phoenix, safe. It was a dream. I didn`t lose them. There was no crash, no hospital and no dry, cold looks from surgeons. I`m getting fucking paranoid here._

I rolled out of bed, put on my jogging gear and ten minutes later I walked past the reception desk and waved at smiling Bree.

…..

**A/N: Hi everyone. So, that`s the end of empty chapters ;-) You should thank my beta bethroann because I was planning on a week of blank ones but she wouldn`t let me do it! Big hug to her! I hope this little scene explains Edward`s recent silence and his vulnerability. He`s getting his voice back now and we`ll hear more from him soon : -)**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29 EPOV**

**COUSINS**

"Edward?!"

I turned to the source of the voice.

_Please, have mercy, I`m sooo not in the mood!_

"Tanya? Hi, how are you?" I looked at the smiling face of my ex-girlfriend. _Yay, out of all people I had to meet my nutty ex!_

"I`m great now that I see you, my gorgeous boy!" She laughed, "We`ve been here for three days; did you just arrive?"

"No, I`ve been here the whole time."

"Have you? Well, there are three hundred doctors around no wonder I haven't seen you yet."

"I suppose so. You`re enjoying it?"

"I`ve been to two conferences and three big lectures. Dr. Preisner tonight…"

"Dr. Preisner, huh?" I chuckled, "Hmm, the new genius in orthopaedics."

"Correct. I`m pumped up for this one. And yourself? Anything tonight?"

I ran a hand through my hair, "Um, yeah, Thompson and Byrnes. They have this new theory… Nevermind. Have you been jogging every day?" I added after scanning her gear.

"Yep," she said jumping for effect, "six on the dot every morning. You?"

"Six thirty."

"Aha!" She laughed, "That`s why I never saw you. But if I remember well you always liked a sleep in."

"A sleep in? How`s six thirty a. m. late?" I laughed.

Tanya rolled her eyes, "OK, OK, let`s stick to the present. Listen, a few of us are going out for a drink later on, after the lectures and speeches. You have _got_ to come with us, Edward."

"I don`t know, I`m not really in the mood –"

"Well, that`s exactly why you should come! I mean, let me tell you, you are as hot as ever but you look like shit right now, like you haven`t slept in days. Trouble in paradise, maybe?" She mused again with a flirtatious smile.

"Tanya, please."

"Oh, so there _is_ trouble in paradise! Poor thing!" She examined my wincing face and added, "OK, alright, I see you`re sensitive and stressed. I am genuinely sorry. If you need to talk or something…" she smiled gently.

"Thank you," I returned the smile, "You know, I`ll go for one drink, maybe it`s not the worst idea."

"Great!"

"Just _one_ though," I warned seeing her enthusiasm.

"No problem," she sang.

"I`d better go get out of these clothes," I pointed at my sweaty t-shirt.

"Sure; I need a shower myself," she chuckled, "and Edward?"

"Yeah?" I turned around to face her again.

"It`s good to see you," she mused and winked.

"And you too, Tanya. You look good."

"Thanks, you too."

"Oh, dear god," I groaned to myself when Bree called from reception the next morning. _I don`t take booze that well anymore. Last night was good, but the hangover isn`t worth it! _

It was good to talk about trivial stuff with strangers and laugh between sips of alcohol, even if with my ex-girlfriend in tow. The question is now; who got me into the room and the bed! Panic washed over me when memories of Tanya`s face flashed through my mind but slowly, as I donned on my tracksuit it came back to me. There was a group of us walking each other to the rooms. Tanya stayed with me for half a minute because I insisted on showing her what I wore to bed. It was the t-shirt that Bella and the girls had given me at Christmas, with their colorful handprints and scribbles on the white cotton. Then I stayed alone for the rest of the night. _Phew._

"Hello there," Tanya said with a yawn.

"Ooh, where`s the enthusiasm?" I was surprised at how good it felt to see her.

"Cut me some slack here; I drank more than you last night," she added with a moan.

"Alright, you`re forgiven," I laughed, "So, are we running then?"

"You wanna run with me?"

"Since _you_ had a sleep in this morning, I might as well have you as a tail," I joked.

Tanya smirked, "Haha, very funny," she elbowed me playfully.

"C`mon."

"OK," she stood beside me, ready to jog, "but we`ll go for a double espresso afterwards."

"I`m buying."

"Deal!"

We suffered through the workout arm to arm and split for a shower and change of clothes. Tanya seemed a lot softer than she used to be; happier, more fulfilled…

We met again half an hour later for the promised morning coffee in the hotel restaurant.

"You`re a bit hangover, but still, you look better than yesterday," she said.

"I feel better, thanks."

"I don`t wanna intrude, Edward, but last night you talked a lot about Rachel, Bella and Sophie and how much you love them all and that you`re hoping that you won`t lose them. I hope you aren`t playing some poor unaware women around at the same time."

"Oh god, I talked too much, sorry!"

"Don`t worry. Tell me, did I dream that or did you really show me a hand printed t-shirt…"

"Rachel and Sophie are my daughters and Bella is their mom. The t-shirt is real, I got it from the girls and wear it to bed," I stated. As soon as the words left my mouth I felt incredibly proud.

"Daughters? You`re a dad?" Tanya opened her eyes widely, "Oh my god, you are a dad!"

"I am."

"That`s what you always wanted, that`s great! Congratulations! How old are the girls?"

"They`re twins and will turn three in two weeks."

"Three-year-old twins? I didn`t know! My god, how time flies! That`s so sweet! Do you have pictures?"

"I have, yeah," I pulled out a photo of my ladies from my wallet and handed it to my companion sitting opposite me.

"Oh shoot me, they are gorgeous! Is it recent?"

"Yeah, from two weeks ago. We were at Bella`s friend`s wedding in Phoenix."

"So this is Bella…" Tanya said to herself holding the picture.

"Yes," I admitted, "You know it`s interesting to see you so curious about children."

"I don`t hate children, Edward. I never wanted to be a mother myself and still don`t feel the instinct, but I don`t take people who do for losers. Whatever floats your boat. And your daughters look very sweet."

"Thank you."

"Which one is which?"

"Rachel looks more like me and the one with darker hair is Sophie. She looks more like Bella."

Feeling encouraged and bold, I pressed a few buttons on my cell phone and showed Tanya the home videos with Bella and the girls that I`d filmed. Her eyes followed Bella blowing bubbles out in the backyard and Sophie and Rachel chasing after them, squeaking and laughing. The twins rolling funny shapes out of play doh. The twins painting with Mommy. The twins snuggled in with me as I read them a goodnight story. Bella and the girls at Angela`s wedding, looking stunning and so happy. My ex-girlfriend watched them all and I was relieved that someone cared. She didn`t know what had happened between Bella and I and what we had discovered recently, and she cared. I was planning on telling my parents and siblings the recent revelations after the convention. That event couldn`t have happened at the worse time. It was driving me crazy and keeping it all to myself and made me almost comatose for two days. There was this giant hole wherever I looked. I didn`t want to discuss my most private matters with strangers but I couldn`t announce to my Mom and Dad that they had two granddaughters over the phone either. Tanya`s presence around me at this time initially seemed like adding insult to injury but eventually she saved my sanity without my pouring my heart out to her completely. She was the only familiar face near me and she was acting very civil and friendly.

"I really wish you work it all out, whatever the issue between you two is," she said and I knew she meant Bella and I.

"We`ll be fine. It`s… complicated but there`s nothing wrong between us. I talk to the girls on the phone every day. Last night before we went out I called them and read them "Where the wild things are" that someone had left in my hotel room. We`ll see each other in less than two weeks."

"Less than two weeks? You don`t live together? You need to go visit them?"

"No, no. We all live in Seattle. Bella`s taken the children to Phoenix to her Mom`s for some time."

"I see. So she`s from Phoenix then?" Tanya wondered.

"She wasn`t born in Phoenix but that`s where she was raised."

"OK."

"Tell me about yourself. I wasn`t drunk out of my mind, but I can`t remember all the details, there were eight of us altogether in that bar. You mentioned a man a few times…"

"That would be my boyfriend Colin. He`s a swimming instructor and a rehabilitation specialist. I recommend swimming to some patients as a method of rehabilitation after limb injuries and that`s how I met Colin. He gives regular swimming lessons and also special classes to convalescents."

"Nice," I nodded.

"He`s been married before and has two young sons."

"So you`re a step mother," I chuckled.

"True. And I`m trying not to be an evil one," Tanya answered with a laugh, "The boys are nine and seven and they`re great fun. I like spending time with them but again, I also like the fact that they go back to their mother`s at the end of the weekend."

"Fair play."

"I`m glad that you`ve got what you always wanted, Edward. You`re tired and wanna go home and I can see it in your eyes how badly you want this convention to be over. You`re a different man; a happy one, and I`m sure all will be well. You`re not married though, Bella and you, are you? It`s just that you aren`t wearing a wedding band…"

"No, we aren`t married… yet."

"Not _yet_?" She stressed the last word.

"That`s right."

"She`s beautiful," Tanya added out of the blue.

At last I was in Seattle again. I opened the door and stepped on an envelope. Inside were the keys to Bella`s house; my Mom must have brought them back.

I asked Bella over the phone if it was OK to go in to pick up a few books from her place. She told me to stop being daft and go in, of course she didn't mind. I drove to her house one night after work. Inside was quiet, no usual energy and laughter that I had grown used to. Photographs called to me from the walls. Greedily, I took them in with new eyes, a father`s eyes. My three beloved faces smiled at me, smeared with chocolate, eating bright red strawberries or playing on the beach. Sophie and Rachel holding hands, Sophie and Rachel kissing their Mommy on the cheeks, one daughter on each side of her face; Bella with her mom and the girls as small tots, before I met them; Rachel focusing hard on her tiny bare foot, looking at a ladybug sitting on one of her ticklish toes; Sophie showing off her pink fingernails, freshly painted by Mommy… A photo of the four of us from last Christmas at my parents` house and a new one on the mantelpiece, from Angela and Ben`s wedding. _She didn`t put the Christmas one away; she even added the wedding one…_

In the kitchen, once more I admired two walls covered in the girls` arts and crafts projects, from blobs of paints pretending to be wild animals to pieces of cotton wool stuck to shapes of snowmen for snow. Like a magnet, I felt pulled to the children`s bedroom. I ran my hands through their soft toys, smiled at the containers of play doh and glanced at my daughters` favorite books… For a brief moment I could hear the children next to me, laughing, putting toys in my hands and asking to join them in their games.

Nothing compared to the knowledge that these two girls were my children. They were freaking my kids! They were mine… my flesh and blood… mine… my kids… my children… my daughters… my two beautiful baby girls… Sorry, Alice and Jasper, Hugo is one cool kiddo and Charlotte is mighty, but my daughters… they are mine…

I found one of the books I wanted in Bella`s bedroom, _our_ bedroom. I backed out and started reading downstairs on the couch. Soon I was too tired to think of going to my place so I pulled _our_ blanket over my back and fell asleep.

My parents invited me and my siblings to dinner one night. It was a couple of days after I got back from the convention and Bella left for Phoenix. I seized the opportunity and decided that tonight would be the night when I told my whole family that our clan was bigger than we had thought.

It was before we sat down to eat when a casual exchange led to a question I was both hoping for and dreading.

Hugo was busy watching cartoons and Charlotte napped in her carrier when Emmett cheered in my direction, "So, what`s new, Edward? How are the ladies?"

I exhaled deeply. _OK, here we go._

"Son, are you alright?" My Dad added.

"I`m OK. I`m glad we`re all here today. I have something to say."

"Darling?" My Mom`s voice cracked, sensing my unease.

I shook my head and started, "Bella and the girls went back in Phoenix…"

"OKKKK…" Alice let out.

"Bella said it would be for about a week, but I can`t be sure."

"Oh, thank god. For a moment I thought they _moved_ back there!" My sister sighed.

"Why are you so somber, Edward? Did you and Bella have a bad argument?" My Mom added anxiously.

I ran a hand through my hair, "OK. No, we didn`t technically have an argument," I raised my head and looked at my relatives` faces, "Bella needed some time to… think. Let`s cut to the chase. Four years ago Bella had an insemination and fell pregnant with the twins - "

"Insemination?" Rose threw in.

"Yes."

"OK. Sorry, go on," she apologized.

"So, Bella asked someone to be the father of her children?" That was Jasper.

"No, she got inseminated with a stranger`s semen."

"Oh."

Alice covered her mouth with a hand, "Oh my god, don`t tell me she found out who the father is and he wants contact with the children!"

"Well, truth be told, yes, Bella found out who the father is."

"Oh no," Rose and Mom said simultaneously.

"Emmett, do you remember when you were taking tests about four years ago and I did it too, for support?"

"Yeah?" My brother shuffled his feet and stared at me.

My Dad`s lips rose up in a tiny smile.

"It turns out I…" I cleared my throat before finishing quickly, "Bella used my semen for the insemination."

"WHAT?!" Alice shouted out.

"I am Rachel and Sophie`s biological father," I said.

"What?!"

"How?"

"Sweetheart, how?"

"Tell us exactly what happened!"

"Bella wasn`t in a relationship then?"

"She had an _insemination_?"

"Edward, please?!"

An avalanche of questions poured down on me and it sank how big an impact this whole situation would have on all of us.

"One at a time, guys," an unconscious chuckle escaped my mouth, "I know how weird it sounds. Four years ago Bella was living in Phoenix. She was single and wanted a baby. Her previous relationship didn`t work out but she was longing for a family of her own and eventually she decided to have an insemination and raise a child by herself. At the same time I was also living in Phoenix and when Emmett was taking fertility tests in Fairbanks, I agreed to do the same in Phoenix for moral support. I wanted to avoid questions from my work colleagues and took the tests in a fertility clinic. The tests came back perfect for us both and while Emmett moved on, my sample was frozen and half a year later I got a letter from the clinic asking if I would be willing to participate in the program and by providing another sample, help some people to have a much desired baby. I was just about to move back to Seattle and each time I thought about helping some couple I had the image of Rose and Emmett in my mind… I knew that the first attempt rarely works and most likely my, let`s call it `input`, wouldn`t guarantee success anyway but I agreed on completing the process and went to the clinic again, signed the papers and left. Some weeks later I got a letter informing that my sample had been used in an insemination procedure. The information that it resulted in a pregnancy got lost in the mail and I didn`t know that I had become a biological father until several days ago. The recipient was Bella."

Six faces with wide open mouths stared back at me until my brother`s lips began quivering. For a second it crossed my mind that Em was going to cry, as strange as it would have been, but no, out of the blue he burst out laughing like only my brother could. Rosalie shot him a dagger but he didn`t even react to that. There was no way he was going to stop. His loud "hahaha" echoed in the room until tears streamed down his face and he held up his stomach. The rest of my family stood there shocked and their glances traveled between Emmett and I. I scratched my head and a full minute later my brother`s outburst ceased and my eyes fell on him. The sight did something to me though and by the looks of it, I wasn`t the only one. Jasper was the next one who couldn`t hold it in any longer and as Emmett started laughing again, my brother-in-law followed suit. Soon, the rest of the Cullens joined in the `fun` and we all gave into the hilarity of the situation.

After a while Mom rubbed my arm, "Honey, did you and Bella have a misunderstanding and she left with the children?"

"We found out about my paternity the day before I went to the conference, when Rachel was in hospital for the night. Bella wanted to go away to think. She had planned her life out for herself and the girls and now it all changed."

"But it changed for the _better_, didn`t it?" Alice threw in.

"It`s hard to tell what she`s thinking and feeling at the moment," I answered, "To say that we`re both surprised is an understatement."

"But Bella and you have been a couple for a while, I mean you`ve been talking about marriage!" My sister sounded strong.

"We have, but the situation was different; it was out of choice and now I suspect that Bella feels that she`s obligated to be with me."

"Of course she`s not obligated! I would understand if it was the other way round; say you had the girls together and were planning marriage and then it turned out that the children weren`t yours, then if you still wanted to be with her, it could have felt like she was obligated and would be marrying you because she had already given you her word. Your position is totally opposite!" Alice continued to argue.

"I realize that."

"She`s just feeling confused."

"And you?"

I sighed before braving a look into my sister`s eyes, "I`m overwhelmed, happy, proud, and terrified, all in one. The time away was the worst."

"Why?" Emmett asked.

"Because I left Seattle several hours after I found out that I was a father. I didn`t even see Sophie after the revelations. Who was I supposed to talk to? I couldn`t just pick up the phone and call any of you."

"Edward, of course you could! You should have! We`re your family!" Alice was unsettled.

"Not with a thing like this. I wanted to talk to you all face to face."

"So you were there alone with all this pain for almost a week?" My Mom added fearfully.

"Yeah, but Mom, I`m a big boy, I can manage my own business. Besides, it isn`t that hurtful."

My mother scolded me with her eyes.

"Not hurtful?" My sister began again, "Sorry for interrupting, Mom, but Edward, how is this not hurtful? If this is nothing then why did you summon us here? Bella took _your_ children away and you aren`t even sure when you`re going to see them again!"

"They should be back in a few days."

"_Should_?"

"I`ve been talking to them every day on the phone. Bella says she`s seen all of our original documents of my donation and her procedure and Angela made photocopies of them for us."

"Angela? Is this the girl who just got married?" Mom inquired.

"Yes. Angela is a gynecological nurse in the clinic where it all happened."

"Oh."

"You mean where your daughters were… hm, created?" My brother began chuckling again.

"Emmett!" Rosalie shot at her husband, "I swear he has no decency," she added apologetically to the rest of us, but her own lips twisted in a bright smile, too.

"What?" Em defended, "They didn`t exactly –"

"Emmett!" It was Alice this time. She was going to say something else but then Jasper smirked and winked at Em. They slapped `high five` with each other and Alice gave up.

"I know it`s a serious matter," Jasper said, "but you have to admit, it`s funny too. And to be honest, I`m with Emmett on this one, let`s tell it like it is."

"You`re right," I answered, "Bella and I didn`t exactly whatever-you-were-going-to-say… Mom, are you alright?" I scanned my mother`s tear filled eyes.

"We`re chatting and joking here and it just dawned on me that these sweet little girls are _my_ granddaughters!"

"Uhm," my Dad hummed to himself quietly.

Mom linked her hand with him and looked at us all, "Edward, you know how much we love Bella and the fact that Rachel and Sophie are _her_ children was enough for us to treat them like Cullens, but now I that you have told us that they really are Cullens… they`re _my grandbabies_, I just want to hug you and Bella and the girls and never let go. I want our girls back home."

"Me too, Mom."

"What is Bella saying about it all?" My Dad added.

"She said she just needed a few days to put it in perspective, talk to Angela, see the papers."

"That`s about you and the children though. What I`m talking about is you and Bella together? Son, this is the biggest change in your lives, it changes your whole relationship, the way you both think about each other, the way you relate to one another. I won`t be teaching you here, you are both adults and you will sort it out yourselves; I`m just concerned."

"We haven`t had a chance to talk it through yet. We`ll do it when they come back."

"I still think that Bella shouldn`t have gone away just like that," Alice said, "I get that it`s a little messy but she just ran instead of staying and managing it. Rose, what do you think?" She turned to my sister-in-law.

"I believe that if Bella said that she needed time then she deserved it."

"But she left Edward in a limbo!" Alice frowned.

A phone call from the hospital took me outside to the backyard. As I re-entered the house, I overheard Rose and Alice alone in one of the rooms, continuing the conversation.

"Alice, you see your brother in pain here, because he misses his children and obviously their mom as well, but Bella is hurting too. I can only imagine how torn she is between what she had planned and created for herself and her daughters, and the unknown with Edward."

"She`s been with Edward since last year, the life with him isn`t unknown. His paternity should strengthen their bond and not make them strangers."

"I`m not saying that it won`t happen," Rose explained, "It most likely will, but my point is that I understand if Bella needs time to make sense of it. I have never been in a situation like this, nor do I know anyone who has so there`s no way of telling how to deal with it best."

"I know. It just…" Alice crossed her arms on her chest, "It seems that Bella reacted like a high school boy whose girlfriend fell pregnant after their first time together. She took off."

"I`m sure it wasn`t that simple. Bella is a grown up woman, not a teenage boy."

Alice sighed deeply and sat down, resigned, "You know, I understand… I`m overreacting because I care about them both. _I_ introduced them to each other, _I_ kept pushing them towards one another, telling them what a fabulous couple they would be. My little perfect picture is crackling and I`m scared. Bella is my friend and Edward is my brother –"

"Alice, it`ll be OK," Rose placated my younger sister, "Edward said they`re fine, they just need to talk and haven`t had a chance yet."

"Rose, I did the same thing, remember?" Alice added with a quiver in her voice, "I found out that I was pregnant and kept it a secret from Jasper for five months! Mom and Dad, you and Emmett all let me do my own thing and deal with it the way I thought best. You didn`t judge me, didn`t yell at me. Edward did. He felt like he was choosing between his sister and his best friend. I met Jasper through him and he was terrified that my and Jasper`s breakup would rip apart the closeness between him and I or him and Jasper. I can be pretty impulsive and stubborn and while already in London, I wouldn`t answer Jasper`s calls and I only texted him sporadically. Edward saw Jasper almost every day and he saw what my silence did to him. After I told Edward about the pregnancy and when Jasper and I sorted things out between us in London, Edward came to see us and one day he gave me a piece of his mind. He spelled out exactly how badly I had hurt Jasper and how stupid and selfish I had been. Being on my own, pregnant and with no family around in London wasn`t easy but sticking with my pride and hurting Jasper, myself and our baby was ultimately much worse. Edward told me then how a man feels when he`s treated like that, dismissed, diminished, unworthy, unimportant and like a pile of garbage. Right now it`s all coming back to me and it wrenches my heart looking at my brother. At the same time Bella is like a sister to me; I think she`s incredible, smart, funny and a lovely mom. Edward loves her like a total fool and Rachel and Sophie… my god, they`re his daughters, our nieces, Rose!"

Rosalie smiled gently, secretly.

I turned around and walked quietly to the kitchen. Emmett stood leaning against the counter, with a cup of coffee in his hand.

"How`re you doing, bro?" He asked with a straight face for once.

"OK," I nodded.

I poured myself some coffee and slouched beside him.

"What a coincidence, huh?" He threw in the air.

"Yeah," I chuckled shortly to myself, "I should thank _you_ for them."

"Me?"

"I wouldn`t have gone to that clinic…"

"If I wasn`t doing my tests."

"Yeah."

"You`re welcome," Em smiled.

"And I`m sorry, too."

"Sorry?!" My brother turned to face me, frowning, "What`s that about now?"

"You did your tests because you and your wife wanted to have a child. You still don`t have one. I wasn`t even planning on becoming a father and I have two kids."

"Edward, will you ever, _ever_ stop that stupid brooding, self-deprecating bullshit! It`s not your fault that Rose and I have troubles conceiving and I`m very thankful to you for being so considerate and worrying about us, I really am. But for god`s sake don`t apologize for Sophie and Rachel!"

"See, I`m turning stupid. I want them back, Em. And no, I`m not sorry that I`m a father. What I mean is –"

"I know what you mean," Emmett cut me off, "And about that… Something happened when you were at your convention thing…"

"What?" It was my turn to frown now.

"Rose and I –"

"Oh fuck, you`re expecting," I let out with… hope.

"No," Emmett shook his head, but the smile in his eyes remained.

"Then what?"

"We met someone three days ago. Actually, _I _met someone."

"You _met_ someone?"

"Uhm," he agreed.

"?"

"A girl."

"A girl. You met a girl. You met a girl? Emmett, would you quit the dramatic pauses and tell me already?!"

"I was running late for a meeting in one of the homes for kids the other day. Rose was already inside. I closed the front yard gate behind me and rushed to the door. I caught the attention of a girl who was picking flowers with one of the employees. She turned around and we looked at each other for a second…" He stopped to swallow a lump in his throat, "I`m gonna say something I don`t say aloud and I would deny it if you gave me away, Edward."

"I have two children through sperm donation. You can`t faze me. Fire away."

"You know that Rose means everything to me but that girl… She _pierced_ me with her eyes, Edward. If it was a cartoon, I bet you would have seen a physical link between us, like a lightning. I swear, for a few seconds time stood still."

"I still don`t know who she is, Em. Are we talking about a young adult or something?"

"No," he laughed, "Lily will turn three in September."

"And?"

"I saw her and I couldn`t stop thinking about the child."

"So, she`s in the home?"

"Yeah; since she was three months old."

"What`s her legal situation?"

"Oh, she can be adopted, no problem."

"Any health issues?"

"No."

"Would you like to adopt her?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes," followed without a split second of hesitation.

I looked at Emmett, "How about Rose? Has she seen the girl?"

"Yeah."

"And? I thought you wanted to adopt a baby?"

"So did I. And then Lily came along."

"How old is she again?"

"Three years old in September, so a little over two and a half now."

"Only a bit younger that Rachel and Sophie."

"It did cross my mind," Emmett smiled, "She has this look in her eyes, Edward. Like it was…"

"Meant to be?"

"Yeah," my brother shuffled his feet embarrassed at the soapy admittance, "Like I said Rose is my best buddy and my wife but Lily, it`s like… I don`t even know what to call it."

"What interests me is why she`s in the home if she`s healthy and can be legally adopted. Any developmental troubles?"

"No, she`s the sweetest little thing. She`s not alone, Edward. She has an older brother."

"OK. Go on."

"His name is Henry and he just turned five two weeks ago. He was two and a half years old when he and Lily were dumped on the steps of the orphanage. Their parents lived on the streets and gave the parental rights away, relieved that they could drink and party without babies crying at night. Fair play to the mother; she brought them to the home instead of leaving them somewhere to die. Both children were alright, dirty and dressed poorly but the caretakers in the home say that you could see some effort from the mother to keep them warm and comfortable. Both parents were offered psychological help but they declined and took off. The kids were never visited or asked about again. The agency contacted some relatives of the parents` but as it turned out nobody even knew that those two had been together and they had kids."

"That sucks. And how`s Henry?"

"Perfectly healthy, smart but he`s very sensitive. He still jumps at any louder noise and overreacts in stressful situations; either cries for virtually no reason or turns aggressive. And he`s crazily protective of Lily. There were no signs of any physical abuse towards the two of them but god only knows what Henry must have witnessed `at home`."

"Have there been attempts at adoption?"

"A few times. Some couples were interested in Lily only and although agencies try not to separate siblings, Lily spent a couple of days with two families. Both times she had a terrible time and Henry who stayed in the home went berserk. One time it was he who was going to be taken in, but the prospective parents already had a son and neither that boy nor Henry took it well. The decision was made to keep Lily and Henry together and have them adopted as siblings or not at all."

"And how do you feel about it? About Henry? Have you met him?"

"He`s…" Emmett smiled, "fantastic. I told Rose about Lily and we discussed maybe settling for an older child to adopt and she agreed to meet Lily. I promise you, I would have adopted Lily on my own if it came to it! We called the home and arranged a meeting by the sandpit in the backyard in the orphanage. Then we were also told that the girl I had seen had a brother. We went anyway. There were two employees with the children. Lily said hello to me, then her eyes fell on Rose and she looked like she`d seen an angel. She told Rose that she was pretty like a princess and that Rose had a name like a flower, just like she did. Henry was filling a plastic bucket with sand and the employee winked at me with encouragement when she saw that Henry didn`t flinch away when I got near. I asked him if I could sit beside him and he nodded `yes`, so I did and for a while I watched him while sifting some sand from hand to hand myself. The two girls seemed happy and Rose had that hazy look in her eyes, like she was drifting on a cloud far away; I knew she was sold to Lily just like I was. Henry stopped playing every now and then and looked at the girls. I offered him help with turning the sand-filled bucked upside down and he nodded again. I helped him and when he lifted the bucket he grinned and said `Wow, this is the best sand castle I have ever built!` The sparkles in his eyes, Edward, oh my god! He was so chuffed! And he has dimples in his cheeks like me. And blue eyes. And Lily has blue eyes and long blond hair, she looks like mini Rose. When we had to say goodbye, Henry looked me in the eyes and asked if I would come again… You know I had that meeting with wine suppliers yesterday morning?"

"Yeah. You waited ages to meet those particular producers."

"I cancelled."

"?"

"I went to build sand castles with Henry."

I smiled. I would have done the same.

"Later the wine people`s flight back to Italy was cancelled and they called me personally and asked if I would like to meet last night instead. I did and I got the deal!"

"Congrats! So it worked out!"

"Yeah, I prioritized sandcastles with my little guy and I got rewarded in the end."

"So, what`s the plan now? Are you going to see the kids again? What`s Rose saying? Would she be happy jumping years forward and raising kindergarteners instead of a baby? And two children at once?"

"Two children at once? Said a father of twins," Emmett elbowed me with a snort.

"Do you want them, Em?"

"Yeah."

"Rose?"

"Yeah, she does. She dusted off her parenting guides and manuals and asked the agency about psychological support for both adoptive parents and children. She wants to do it right. She`s happy that Lily would have Rachel and Sophie to play with and Henry is exactly one year younger than Hugo, so if the boys got on well, they would both benefit from having a new cousin. And we would have you and Bella and Alice and Jasper if we needed advice. I mean, Rose is a mother already."

"There may be tough times along the way."

"Yeah, but if people can`t communicate and sort their stuff out, it doesn`t matter if they`re blood related or not. Shit happens in all families."

"True. And you would have all the support you needed, from all of us."

"Thanks, Edward."

"Mom and Dad know?"

"Uhm. We were just waiting for you to come back and tell you face to face. I thought I would surprise you today, but truth be told, it`s _you_ who made _my_ mouth hang open with your breaking news."

"Sorry."

"Stop."

"So, it looks like Mom and Dad gained four grandchildren in a matter of a few days."

Emmett started laughing, "The Cullens are doing good, man!"

And we hugged. A big, hearty, brotherly hug.

"You have a daughter and a son, Emmett."

"If they only want me, they have me. It`s all up to them."

"C`mon, who wouldn`t want a bear like you for a dad? And the lioness Rose, with her understanding and fairness and her kickass attitude when necessary at the same time? A dream. I`d give _myself_ up for adoption if I could have you two caring for me!"

"You better get busy getting your own kids back."

"Welcome to fatherhood, my dear brother."

"High five!"

"Well, well, well, look who I found here?" Alice came through the kitchen door and opened her eyes wide at Emmett.

"Yeah, I just told him."

"Yay!" She came closer to us and looked at me, "Edward, I apologize if I came on too strong. I love you and I know how painful your situation is. With Rose and Emmett having met Henry and Lily I`ve been bouncing around for the last two days. The images of all of us spending the day in the park together, throwing birthday parties together, Christmas table, summer vacations, Sunday dinners as one big happy family with Mom and Dad, Em and Rose with their children, you and Bella and the girls and Jasper and I with our two; can you imagine that? I`ve been flying without wings and we couldn`t wait to see you and tell you about Lily and Henry and then you come in and tell us that Bella`s gone. I`m still hormonal after the birth and I got my hopes for us so high. It shattered my dream picture for a moment and I panicked but we`ll be alright. Bella is coming back and we`ll be OK, right?"

"Fingers crossed," I said, "And no problem, you didn`t come on too strong."

"I`ll ring Bella tonight. She can`t just disappear like that. Jasper and I would like her to be Charlotte`s godmother, so she better be here and soon! Emmett has already agreed to be the godfather," she finished with a wink directed at our older brother.

"Ha! I`m having a kiddo with Bella!" Emmett rubbed his hands.

"?" That was me.

"What? You bring that hottie back, I`m telling you!"

Alice laughed, "Speaking of kiddos and parents, Dad wants us in the dining room."

We followed Alice out of the kitchen and into the room where our parents were talking to Rose, Jasper and the Whitlock children.

Dad motioned to champagne glasses on the table.

_Looks like we`ll be calling cabs to go home later._

"What`s going on?" I said.

My father lifted his glass, "Rosalie and Emmett, your love for each other resulted in strength and determination that has been an inspiration to the rest of the family. We have all seen your pain and shared it with you, but today I believe that no tear and no dream went unnoticed and wasted. Let every tear be a happy one now, let it sparkle in Lily and Henry`s eyes as they wake up every morning with Mommy and Daddy only a few feet away. And out of pain let there be joy. Your Mom can`t wait to show Lily her flower garden and I will gladly oil my old rusty joints to kick a ball in the backyard with Henry. And Edward – a few days ago I accidentally met Gary Hobson and when he asked how my granddaughter was doing, I looked at him surprised although I knew he was asking about Rachel`s recovery from pneumonia. I thought that he called her my granddaughter only because you and Bella were together and I left it without a comment at first, but then he said he was surprised when you told him that the girls were your daughters and that he was glad that you and Bella got back together. I didn`t want to appear too shocked, but until today I`ve been thinking that what must have happened was that you and Bella dated four years ago, or maybe it was just one night, and now she came back to find you. She told you about the children and maybe you felt cheated that you didn`t know earlier… Now that you`ve explained what really happened I cannot tell you how happy I am and how much I wanna see my granddaughters and Bella again. Congratulations to you three and good luck with your new adventure. Rose, Emmett and Edward, welcome to the land of parenthood."

…..

I called Phoenix to hear about the girls` day and wish them sweet dreams. Bella didn`t say a lot as if she were afraid to say too much, she was holding back. She said she was happy that I had told my family but still I was hoping that it wasn`t the reason for her being cryptic. I didn`t share with her Alice and Jasper`s desire for her to be Charlotte`s godmother and Rose and Emmett`s news; she would find out for herself.

I lay in bed drifting between the joy for my brother and his wife and my own uncertainty. Why does it always have to be happiness for one and pain for someone else at the same time in this family? Can`t we all be happy for once? Some years ago it looked like I was happy with Tanya when Alice and Jasper were going through motions, then Jasper went to London, he and my sister got married, had a baby, and my relationship fell apart. Rose and Emmett were going to try IVF and we were all cheering them on when Grandma fell sick. We grieved the loss of her and were happy when the Whitlocks announced they were coming back to Seattle. Rose and Emmett failed while conceiving a child month after month as I met Bella with the two beautiful, healthy little girls. Rose fell pregnant and lost her baby when Alice was happily expecting Charlotte. Now finally Rose and Emmett are most likely going to be parents and I`m unsure of the future of my own family which hasn`t been even formed properly yet. Will we ever get a break? And why did Bella cut our conversation today?

I read a message from Tanya that arrived when I was at my parents`. It was about transcripts of a lecture which she couldn`t go to at the convention and I offered to e-mail them to her. She thanked me and wished me good luck. Short and sweet. It`s funny how help and understanding come from the least expected source sometimes. When I first saw Tanya over a week earlier, let`s say I wasn`t exactly jumping for joy. She changed a lot though. There was no bitterness, no pretense in her like it used to be. Maybe people do change after all? Maybe I`ve changed? Nevertheless, I was grateful for the sincerity and genuine concern she had shown me when I needed them the most.

I scrolled the received messages up and down looking for any new one that I possibly missed from Bella. Nothing.

And then I knew. There is one woman for me, only one. She understands me, she loves me and believes in me no matter what stupid thing I do or say. She gets me. I got out of bed, took off the t-shirt that Bella, Sophie and Rachel decorated for me and minutes later I was in a cab on the way to the airport. Enough is enough.


	30. Chapter 30

**bethroann – you are a sweetheart! Thank you so much for your hard work and support : -)**

**myagrace – thank you for our chats and for supporting the story and me. I hope you like this one : )**

**Chapter 30**

**GOOD THING? BAD THING? JUST A THING.**

**BELLA**

My Mom was giving Sophie and Rachel a bath and I was folding my clothes to pack them up when I got an unexpected call from Alice. It was after Edward had told his family about his fatherhood and I didn`t know what to expect from the Cullens. The first minute passed on the usual pleasantries and in the end I heard the words I`d been waiting to hear.

"Edward shared your news with us."

_Oh, here we go_, "And what do you think?"

"My first reaction was that you threw away the most perfect ending to your story and ran. But I did the same thing a few years back so I shouldn`t be throwing stones. I want to congratulate you and Edward and I`m so happy for you, Bella! This is amazing news and I know it feels strange now, but it`ll be great in the end."

"Thank you. I needed these few days to go back in time and find that old Bella and calm her down, so to speak. It feels weird but I miss Edward like crazy. The girls keep asking me when we`ll be going home to see him and I know he`s missing them, too. I saw all the documents that we both signed at the clinic four years ago and I`m flying to Seattle early tomorrow morning. But shhh, it`s a surprise, please don`t tell Edward, OK? I talked to him in half sentences when he called an hour ago; I knew I`d blabber away so I kept it short and dry."

Alice chuckled in to the receiver, "You go, sister! I won`t tell him, promise! I can`t wait to see you!"

"How are the boys and Bubble?"

"All great. You won`t recognize the little one, she`s changing so fast! Jasper and I want to ask you something so you better get your little ass back here quickly, missy! And my two nieces as well! My god, I can`t believe I have nieces!" Alice sang.

"It`s strange, isn`t it? We`ll see you the day after tomorrow, OK?"

"Fab."

I went back to packing. We were going back to see Aunties and Uncles and Grandma and Granddad… and cousins… and Daddy. Wow, my daughters` family has expanded!

In the morning we said goodbye to Mom and Phil and boarded the plane. Rachel and Sophie, oblivious to the commotion surrounding their very existence, looked out the window and kept me entertained during the journey. I felt calm. Remembering how shaky I was feeling on the way to Phoenix just a few days earlier calm was a huge achievement. Calm was a good place to start with. Putting aside the paternity thing, the woman in me missed Edward on a personal, intimate level. I needed the soothing greenness of his eyes, the beating of his heart and his warm touch. I smiled at the realization that I was thinking how much I longed for his physical presence next to me. If I was able to dream of his kisses and the happiness that the endings of my nerves felt at his touch, then things were _good_! We have two beautiful children together, through these little cheeky monkeys we are linked forever. Life is good.

As I opened the door to our house, the girls ran in and checked if all their toys and books were still there in their right places. I promised myself that I wouldn`t subject them to any more traveling any time soon. They`d had enough for a while. We _all_ have had enough, the children, Edward and I. From now on we will travel through life together.

As the duckies collapsed happily down for a nap, I unpacked the suitcases and sat on the couch with my cell in my hand. We were in Seattle and Edward was close. As I was running through what I wanted to say to him on the phone, it suddenly rang in my hand. Alice.

"Hi Bella!" She sounded happy but somewhat nervously, "Where are you?"

"I`m on my couch at home! I`m just about to call Edward. I don`t know when he`s working today –"

"Oh, dear god. You won`t catch him, Bella."

"Why not?"

"I promised you I wouldn`t let him know that you`re coming back this morning and he flew to Phoenix! You must have crossed mid air!"

"What?"

"Edward`s in Phoenix, Bella!"

"Oh, for the love of…!"

"I know! He called me ten minutes ago joking to guess where he was. He said he was collecting his sweetheart."

"Did you tell him that I came back earlier?"

"I did. He said he`d do a couple of things and catch a flight back later. And I wasn`t supposed to tell you any of this, but this game of yours is getting old so before you two begin chasing each other anymore, I`m telling you what`s going on. I`ll text you the time he`s landing at as soon as I know, alright?"

"Great, thank you so much, Alice."

"No problem, love, but do me a favor if you will, Bella. Do not disappear like that anymore. Have mercy on m; I`m lactating and my milk will go sour because of you two crazy kids," she laughed and I joined in.

"OK, Mommy, I`m getting my act together."

"Thank you kindly. Jasper says that you two would give someone a headache and a half and before breakfast!"

"God, I love Jasper and I missed you all so much!"

"Welcome home."

…..

I went about the day waiting for updates from Alice. My attempts at calling Edward were unsuccessful, `the number cannot be reached at this time, please try again later` was what I heard each time. Finally, Alice sent me a message that Edward`s flight had been delayed and he would be arriving in Seattle just after nine at night. I couldn`t wait anymore. Rachel and Sophie were pretty tired and just after I put them to bed I left them with Maggie and hopped into the Mercedes. I was going to surprise Edward and pick him up.

I parked the car and ran into the building to check the arrivals. Edward`s plane had just landed, I probably had about twenty minutes while he deplaned and got his baggage. I didn't want to have an awkward reunion in the hall, quite frankly I didn't know how he was going to react when he saw me there, so I retreated back to the car. I stayed closely to the cabs so I could catch him before he got one.

With every passing minute my heart raced faster, my hands were sweaty and my breathing uneven. I was going to see my man again and I would ask him to come home with me.

Twenty five minutes later a familiar silhouette emerged from the building. I smiled to myself and opened the door of my car… And then I saw _her…_ a woman with long waves of strawberry red hair walking right beside Edward. A quick thought raced through my mind that maybe it was just a fellow passenger, but the way she leaned into him… they were familiar with each other, way too familiar to be accidental acquaintances. I closed the car door and watched. They had two identical large suitcases with them with floral patterns on; I presumed they were hers. They each pulled one and Edward had his own smaller black case with him, too. They didn't see me as I watched them get into a cab together. She gave him a peck on the cheek before getting in… I turned away as soon as I saw it. My heart stopped. Didn`t Alice say that Edward went to Phoenix to see _me_? And that he tried to call _me_? What is all of this about then? Who is this woman and why did they travel together? Wait, he told Alice that he was going for _his sweetheart_… I presumed it was… me…

I don't remember how I drove home without becoming a car crash victim. As I thanked Maggie and closed the door after her, my phone announced a text message. It was from Alice again. `I expect details later, sister " I texted her back "Back from airport, alone."

She called immediately: "Bella, what`s happening?"

"Nothing, Alice, nothing between Edward and I that is; as for the woman he was with, I do not know."

"What woman?" Alice sounded genuinely surprised. 

I told her about the strawberry blond beauty, her suitcases and the kiss on his cheek before they slipped into the cab together. Alice was fuming.

"Bella, that description fits Tanya, Edward`s ex-girlfriend. I know there are probably hundreds of women looking like that Seattle, but this is just weird. I`ve gotta get to the bottom of this right now. Talk soon. Stay calm," she said and disconnected at once before I could say another word.

_After all those beautiful phone calls to Phoenix, after telling me how much I meant to him, he would just pick up his ex-girlfriend? And didn`t Tanya live somewhere else now? Is it possible that he decided that I was a pathetic loser who couldn`t make up her mind and turned to her? No, that would be juvenile and immature; Edward`s better than that._

I slumped on the couch, resigned. This was getting way out of hand. That`s it, I thought. I would give him an hour to unpack and then I`d give him a call.

**EDWARD**

After most of the day spent at the airports I dumped my baggage in the hallway and checked if my cell was finally working properly. I restarted it and heard an incoming call from my sister.

"Hi, Alice, how are you?" God, it`s good to be back.

"Brother dear, I love you, because you`re my relative and I`m wired like this, but right now I absolutely, totally and utterly detest your ass!"

Wow! Not exactly the welcome of the year. "Well, thank you Alice, it`s great to hear you, too. May I know to what I owe such a warm welcome –"

"Don't you fuck with me, Edward!"

What`s she on about? "What do you want from me? I have just come back after a really long day of wandering around airports like a complete idiot; I didn't have time to mess anything up, I`m afraid." Funny, I was thinking it was a joke, still.

"Edward, this is not funny –"

"Then tell me, Alice! I honestly have no clue why you`re insulting me!"

"Let me ask you, how was your trip with Tanya?"

"? Wha… Tanya? How do you know I saw Tanya?"

"Just answer my question, Edward."

"None of your business, what are you, spying on me?"

"Tell me what happened so suddenly? A change of heart or something? I thought you wanted Bella -"

"Alice, of course I want Bella. Why do you think I did the stupid thing flying around the country to get her? What`s going on?"

"I told Bella what time you`re landing at and she went to the airport surprise you and pick you up –"

"Oh my god!" I understood instantly. "She saw me…" I whispered to the phone.

"With Tanya, yes. She saw you pulling Tanya`s baggage, she saw you getting a nice peck on the cheek and disappearing in the cab with your ex-girlfriend, " Alice sounded exasperated.

"I didn`t travel with Tanya. She arrived from a different place at the same time, it was a coincidence. We met at the convention and she was really decent. She`s changed a lot and she was actually the only person I could talk to and saved me from going bonkers… Nevermind, I`ll tell you later; there`s nothing to worry about though. I`m gonna change now and go talk to Bella. Something was up with my phone and I see I`ve missed her calls."

"OK. I don`t know what`s going through her mind now, Edward."

"I`ll explain it to her. We are not teenagers, she said, he said and all. I promise you, you will get your sister back."

"Spoken like a true Cullen," my sister stated proudly, "I`m sorry I shouted at you…" she added sheepishly.

…..

Ten minutes later my Volvo sped towards Bella`s house. She had come to the airport for me… God, I would have kissed her senseless in that arrivals building!

**BELLA**

My emptying the dishwasher was interrupted by a quiet yet firm knock on the door.

"Edward," I whispered to myself as I saw the familiar face.

"Hi. I know you saw Tanya, Alice told me," he said calmly. I turned away from the door. He closed it and followed me to the living room. "Bella, tonight at the airport she noticed me first and was as surprised as I was. She flew in from DC five minutes before me. She`s visiting a friend and the person who was supposed to pick her up got delayed so she took a cab. I saw her struggling with the suitcases so I just offered help. She was going in the same direction, so as a thank you for helping her with the cases, she offered me a seat in the cab. I got out of the car, said goodbye and came home."

"Edward, it`s OK."

"Sweetheart, I just helped with her bags."

"I know, I saw it. It`s alright, really."

"Bella, we have to stop this charade."

"I agree," I said, "What happened today, this chase between Phoenix and Seattle… It was sweet and romantic, but completely unnecessary. A funny story to tell grandchildren, but let`s not do it anymore."

Edward took my hand in his, watching me carefully. I submitted gladly, basking in his warmth. The rest of my being envied that hand.

"Bella, you own me. All I want is for you and the girls to have a beautiful, fulfilling life. I am so grateful for the girls and for how you care for them. I know you wanted to do it alone and I would never take any credit from you, but I am their father and as a father I could not be happier for my children. I want you to be with me, Bella, I want to fall asleep and wake up beside you every day. I want to have a home with you, joke with you, cry with you, cook with you, make love to you… I want to protect you and our daughters. I don't know how it all happened, my donation, your insemination, our meeting here in Seattle, but I don't believe in coincidences anymore, Bella. Maybe I`m crazy, maybe Alice`s psychic talents rubbed off on me, but you and I were meant to be. Please tell me what you think and feel."

I molded my hand tightly in his, "Deciding on having the children as a single parent, I designed my own family in a specific way and I presumed it was for life. When you came, you were a new chapter, a beautiful new addition to us. You as the girls` father though, it seemed to me like suddenly I`d had a false picture of my family in my head. I spent whole days imagining how wonderful it would have been if you were Sophie and Rachel`s father but when I learned that it was true, I had to repaint that picture. But it`s not only about the children, it`s also about me as a person and a woman. You make me whole and complete. With you I make sense to myself, my being has a meaning. I mourned the fact that we didn't meet in Phoenix at that birthday party, but paradoxically that is why we have our baby girls today and this I would never regret. Although apart, we have always been connected. I was so busy regretting that you had missed so much of mine and our babies` lives that I didn`t notice that the person who was robbing us of more precious time now was me. I am so truly sorry for all the pain I have put you through. I know I would have loved you no matter where and when we met, it could be another planet, another time, we could even be ghosts or vampires, I know I would have found you. We are soulmates and you, Edward Cullen, are mine."

"Thank God!" he cried out and crushed me to his chest.

"I`m done being undecided. I love you, I trust you and I missed you. I slept in one of your shirts every night," I confessed against the beating of his heart.

Edward laughed. "I`ve been sleeping in the t-shirt that I got from you for Christmas. Funny how similar we are," he said and I felt a gentle, soothing but longing kiss on top of my head.

"Two peas in a pod," I joked, "Alice said she and Jasper want to ask me something regarding Charlotte. Do they want me to be her godmother, do you know anything about it?"

"Yep. Emmett already said yes."

"Aw, great. I`ll be honored."

"Rose and Emmett have news too."

I lifted my head and looked up, "Don`t tell me they`re pregnant! I mean, _do_ tell me they`re pregnant!"

Edward shook his head, "No, but there are two young children that they want to adopt. The boy, Henry, is five years old and his younger sister Lily will be three in September."

"Oh my, serious stuff! So, they won`t be waiting for a baby then?"

"Lily stole Emmett`s heart, she`s like his soulmate and Henry is already making his future father cancel business meetings so they can build sandcastles together. Rose is shaking, she`s so eager and anxious to make the children "Cullens". I wouldn`t exclude a chance of a baby but I doubt that`s a priority anymore."

"I bet you they`ll have their own one soon."

"A baby?"

"Yes. You know how it is; you want something badly and don`t get it and then when you let go of the need, it comes to you."

"Talk about full house," he laughed.

"I went away for less than a week and wham, they have two kids."

"Just think how my Mom and Dad are feeling at the moment; four grandkids in a few days."

"How did they take your news?"

"Like I told you over the phone; everybody opened their eyes widely but they couldn`t be happier."

"That`s good," I sighed, "I hope they don`t hate me for disappearing like I did."

"Bella, don`t be daft. You had the right to do what you felt was necessary. My whole family loves you and they can`t wait to see you and the twins and look at the three of you through different eyes."

"Tell me more about Henry and Lily."

"I don`t know a lot. Rose is dying to talk to you, so she`ll fill you in."

"They must be so happy."

"Ecstatic. Just like me."

"You?"

"Uhm. Because I have you back," he smiled his crooked smile, "I had a few hours in Phoenix and first I saw your mom and then I went to the clinic."

"You saw my mom?"

"Yeah. We talked for a while. She`s determined for us not to screw up."

"Oh yeah, that`s Renee. And at the clinic, did you see Angela?"

"I did."

"Did she show you our papers?"

"Uhm. I laughed at the note that in May two thousand and seven healthy female fraternal twins were born as a result of the pregnancy. Did you see that?"

"Yep, I have copies of all the papers. I thought it only said stated about two females, does is actually say that they were fraternal?"

"Yes, in both of our folders. If I got that pregnancy letter I would have asked the clinic if it had been healthy and produced offspring. I would have learned that I had non-identical twin daughters somewhere and the fact that you moved from Phoenix alone with the children would have sparked more interest and suspicion in me earlier on."

"Is it a bad thing that you didn`t?"

"I don`t know. Good thing? Bad thing? Now it`s just a `thing`. I don`t wanna spend any more time thinking what would have been, Bella. I wanna get to know the girls better and learn what they were like before I met you, but I`m trying to focus on the now and the future –"

"And not cry over the past?" I suggested.

"Exactly."

"I agree. It hit me at some point that I was driving myself crazy going over all the stuff that we could have had and done together. For some reason we weren`t meant to be together earlier and whatever that was, I`m not going to let it destroy what we have now. Life connected us again; I want to celebrate it."

"That`s my girl!" He chanced a quick kiss on my nose, "You were going to talk to Jack and Mike; how did they react?"

"They thought that Martin, my ex was the girls` father. Remember when I told you that I`d met him twice for coffee just before I fell pregnant?"

"Yeah, it had to do with a child he had with some other girl…"

I nodded, "Both times someone saw us and the word traveled from mouth to mouth and Jack and Mike heard the news, too. I told Martin to go to hell and I had the insemination a couple of days after that. Since I never saw him again, Mike and Jack were convinced that Martin knocked me up and left me. They didn`t dare ask me about it openly and I never talked about my children`s father of course, so they presumed they were right."

"It`s a one big world of coincidences," Edward shook his head in disbelief and a soft chuckle.

"And assumptions. They both laughed when I told them the truth."

"Did they? Emmett did the same thing, he was in hysterics!"

"To be honest, when I think about it now, without the fresh conflicting emotions, I feel like laughing myself, too," I said and Edward pulled me closer to his chest.

"We`re crazily lucky, Bella, don`t you think?"

"One hundred percent. Oh, speaking of children. Jacob rang me a few days ago. Leah`s pregnant!"

"No way! Brilliant! Jacob told me that there were some complications around the last birth though?"

"Yeah, I heard that too. Now, this is a girly thing that I wouldn`t normally share with a man…" I warned him.

"I have a very short memory when I want to," Edward swore to conspiracy.

"Cool. They had given up on the possibility of having another child and stopped using any protection altogether and went wild. And now ta da, she`s carrying a little one."

"Way to go."

"I told Jacob our news and you know what he said? All this time he suspected that Jack Newton was the girls` father. He thought that my secret meetings with Jack were about planning my pregnancy and not his heart attack. I`m glad that the cat`s out of the bag and I don`t feel like a character from `Mamma Mia` and all the possible fathers…" I admitted with a roll of my eyes.

"So am I. I`m gonna be quick to clear any smallest confusion from now on, if you don't mind."

"I don`t at all," I smiled, "I can`t wait to talk to Rose, I`m curious about the children. I like their names; Henry sounds strong and Lily`s sweet."

"Yeah. Alice says that Henry sounds regal and is quite popular overseas; she even had it on her shortlist when she was pregnant with Hugo. And with Lily it`s interesting; Rosalie`s middle name is Lilian and the little girl`s full name is Lilianne so it`s just a different spelling. Rose took it as a sign."

"It would be hard not to."

"So, how did you pick the names Sophie and Rachel?" Edward looked at me intently.

"There is no story really, they just came to me. When I found out that I was expecting, immediately I had a feeling it was a girl; I know, weird. I went grocery shopping on the way home from the doctor`s and I saw a girl choosing fruit with her mommy in the store and her mom called her Rachel. She was a sweet little thing and I thought that in a few years I would be going shopping with my own Rachel. I would have loved a little boy just the same, but the image of a girl sort of imprinted in my mind. Sometime later when I knew that I was having twin girls, I wanted a nice six letter name for my second daughter to match `Rachel`, but nothing came to mind at first. And then during one scan my doctor pointed out that Rachel was full of energy while the other girl, whilst absolutely fine, seemed happy and content just being. `She`s like a little wise owl` she said and so for a few weeks there was `Rachel and the Little Wise Owl`."

"Now I know why you call Sophie `little wise owl` sometimes!" Edward laughed.

I returned the smile and nodded, "My mom asked me later if I knew that the name _Sophie_ meant `wisdom` and it clicked; a beautiful six letter name for my Little Wise Owl. The kick I earned from the baby when I first called her `Sophie` made me believe that she liked it. Rachel always seemed busy kicking and exploring and learning while Sophie was quieter, but she loved when I placed my hand on my stomach where she was; she felt my hand and would immediately move over to the warmth. So, that`s the story."

I came back from my reverie and looked at Edward. His beautiful pools of green were fixed on me.

He sighed loudly and swallowed. "I`m so sorry I missed those moments, Bella." 

"Me too, but let`s not cry over the spilt milk."

"Good idea."

"Do you like the names?"

"You have no idea how much," he whispered, "They would have both been on my short list if I knew I was going to have two daughters."

"Seriously? Tell me," I said.

"I told you about my Grandmother Rachel already, remember?"

"Carlisle`s mom, yes," I agreed, "Do you have any special memories of her?"

"After my dad was born his mom caught some infection. All those years ago medicine was at a much lower level than now and things went too far before the problem was discovered and dealt with. As a result, Grandma wasn't able to have any more children. She gave her whole heart to my dad and when Alice, Emmett and I were born she spoilt and indulged us beyond reason. As we grew up Emmett was… well Emmett, you know, always on the go. Alice was small but with a personality bigger than a house. I was the quiet one. God knows I`m no angel, but comparing to Emmett I actually might be expecting wings in the mail any day now. Anyway, Em moved to Alaska, Alice went to England and I was in Phoenix and would visit Seattle every few months…"

"So, your Grandma lived here?" 

"Yes, my Grandparents married and raised my dad in Seattle."

"OK."

"Since Granddad died and Grandma was in her late eighties, my parents asked her to move in with them. Every time I visited we would talk for hours. Mom and Dad always said that Grandma lit up and wanted to wear her best clothes whenever I was coming home."

"That`s sweet." 

"I know. We were very fond of each other. Her body was growing weaker, but her mind was always sharp. She had a wicked, Emmett-type sense of humor if you know what I mean," he grimaced at me and I shook my head with a knowing smile. I could imagine an almost century old lady cracking naughty jokes at Edward.

"Her quirkiness fell on a good soil then," I joked.

Edward let out a laugh, "You`re right. During one of our last conversations when Grandma was still comprehensive, we were joking and suddenly she grabbed my hand, looked me in the eyes and said `Edward, she`s out there, I can feel it.` I asked what she meant and she said that my girl was close. There was absolutely no doubt in her eyes. I cried like a baby afterwards. I was losing her, but also because all this time she had seen through me. We never talked about it, but she knew what I wanted."

"She loved you very much, Edward."

"She did. Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper flew to Seattle just in time to say goodbye and two days later she passed away."

"I`m so sorry." 

"It was when you were getting inseminated, as if she knew for real," he wondered for a moment, "I`ll never forget when we were kids and Grandma and Granddad babysat us. She would make us pancakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner if we asked. With chocolate, obviously! Mom always made those small thick pancakes, whereas Grandma made those big thin ones, the ones you make," his eyes fixed on me, "They are my favorite ones."

"I `m really sorry I never met your grandparents. I am glad that Sophie and Rachel have such heritage."

Edward`s eyes lit up, "They would have adored you and the little ones." 

I nodded with a smile, "So, that`s your love for the name Rachel. How about Sophie? Do you have `_a_ _Sophie story`_ ?" I attempted to keep it light.

"As a matter of fact I have. A short one though."

I raised my eyebrow, "Do tell!"

Edward grinned. His eyes twinkled. _My twinkling stars…_

"My first girlfriend was called Sophie. End of story."

"Excuse me!" I exclaimed and he laughed, "Don't you stop now, I wanna know! Who is she? Is she still around you? Do you still like her?"

He laughed out loud, "Bella?"

"Don`t you `Bella` me now, tell me about your _girlfriend_!" I was laughing too, but nevertheless, really wanted to hear the story.

"OK, OK. We were in kindergarten together, she was three years old and I was four. I had just gone through the Oedipal complex period and understood that I couldn't marry my mom. Sophie was this quiet girl who liked to play house and carried dolls around all the time. I can`t remember most of it, but once her father was away and her mother was working late and Esme offered to bring Sophie to our house after school for her mom to pick her up later. When the woman arrived and time came to say good bye, I kissed Sophie on the lips and declared my love for her right in front of our stunned mothers!"

"OH MY GOD!"

"Yeah, we walked around the place holding hands for about two months."

"Wow," I burst into giggles.

"I don't know where she is now, but I`ve had a soft spot for that name."

I suddenly sobered up and spoke softly, "You have your own little Rachel and Sophie now…"

"I do," he locked eyes with me and held my hand.

"Would you like to see them? They`re asleep but -"

"Yes!" He answered eagerly.

We walked up the stairs and I led Edward into the duckies` bedroom. First, he squatted beside Sophie`s bed and smiled to himself, then he rubbed one of her hands resting on the covers with his finger. She sighed in her sleep. I took the same position right beside Edward.

"She`s so beautiful, Bella."

"And she`s an absolute angel," I started, "Did you know that I had to have a c-section because the girls` arms were entwined as if they were holding each other?" I revealed.

"Really?" Edward asked raising his brows.

"Yep," I said, "They were both positioned head down, but the doctor`s tricks to untangle their arms went down the drain so the only way to keep them intact was to cut me up."

"God, I`m sorry."

"No need to. You weren`t there –"

"I should have been," he cut me off and held our daughter`s plump hand.

"Edward, we agreed to stop it or it`ll destroy us. Let`s live in the now and for the future and I will fill you in on the past, OK?"

"I wanna know everything, Bella and if you feel like I`m trying to make up for lost time, it won`t be out of guilt but because I want to catch up."

"Alright," I nodded. It was a bit of pot-ay-to, pot-a-to but I would do whatever I could to help him find his own place in the family that he didn`t know he had for so long.

"I know it`s just wording but I need to do it, Bella. I can`t go back in time myself –"

"I`ll take you there, I`ll remember for you," I whispered and looked at him.

"Thank you," he whispered back, "So I know the reasons for the c-section, I`ve seen your scar of course…" he started and I sort of… blushed at the thought of the two of us being intimate. God, it`s been ages…

"My mom was supposed to be with me for the birth, but she had to leave for them to perform the section."

"That must have been tough."

"I was scared to death. I was about to have two tiny babies dependent utterly on me only and my own mom couldn`t be there with me. But it was over quicker and the girls were perfectly healthy. Mom and Phil took really good care of us later on."

"That`s great," Edward admitted relieved, "Who`s older?"

"Sophie."

"Did you stay in hospital for long?"

"No, just three days. We were all in great form and ready to have a go at life," I added with a quiet giggle.

"You`re such a strong woman, sweetheart. I`m so proud of you."

"Thank you."

"And I thank _you_."

"You`re welcome."

He kissed Sophie`s forehead and we walked over to Rachel`s bed. Mooky was tucked safely under her little arm and she looked like she was smiling gently in her sleep.

"Must be a nice dream," Edward pointed at her happy face.

"I bet I know what she`s dreaming about."

"?" he looked at me questioningly.

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"I told them that they would see _you_ tomorrow."

Edward`s hands dropped to his sides, "Bella," he began.

"They`ve missed you so much."

And then he did it. He gave me his beautiful, loving, dazzling smile that I was so scared I would never see again.

"And you?" he let out a whisper, "Did you miss me at all?"

I swallowed hard through my tears as Edward opened his arms wide.

"Come here," he said and I fell sobbing, into his warm and safe embrace.

We stood like that, holding each other in the middle of our daughters` bedroom for a couple of minutes before Edward got paged and had to go to the hospital.

I sat on the sofa and read the text message from Alice.

`All OK?`

`OK, Alice, thank you.`

`Do you mean OK, I`ll come round eventually or OK, get your bridesmaid`s dress ready?`

`Hold your horses, Alice. We talked.`

`Bella, you`re killing me. Are you two together?`

`Yes : -) `

`Yay! I knew it! Love you, talk tomorrow. Have fun.`

`Your brother is working tonight, Alice, I`m home alone with the girls.`

`Bother. Anyway, you are soooooo spilling tomorrow, sister!`

**EDWARD**

`Congratulations, Alice, you have a sister.`

`Four happy faces here, : -) : -) : -) : -)`

`You cracked me up.`

`Anytime. We love you, all four of you.`

`Thank you, I think it`s safe to say _we_ love you, too.` Such a short word `we` I thought, and so much happiness.


	31. Chapter 31

**Hi everyone!**

**Two things; to Questioning reader – I interpret "?" as a questioning or slightly confused look on a character`s face. "…" I read as the character drifting off or thinking for a second before continuing to speak. : -)**

**bastos – You`re right; Bella had help with the children on the ferry because they were travelling at night and she was on her own with two tired kiddies. I made up this option because I couldn`t find the appropriate information of adult – child ratio when travelling with young children in the US. My beta explained a few things to me about the rules on the planes (or lack theoreof; we`re much stricter in Europe) but on ferries, forget it, there`s nothing. **

**Hope you like this one : -) : -)**

**Chapter 31 EPOV**

**THE DATE**

The day after we all returned to Seattle, Bella and I went to pick up the twins from school together. Some other moms and dads threw us a quick "hello" before they went to their kids` classrooms. I recognized a face or two as my patients from when I help out Stefan at his dental office and it hit me that I was one of them now, a dad.

Bella motioned for me to peek through the window on the classroom door to see my daughters in action. Rachel was having a tea party with another girl. She was placing plastic food on plates and "serving" her friend and her doll. Sophie was sitting at a different table, coloring and explaining to the teacher sitting beside her the scene on her page. The young woman smiled and rubbed Sophie`s arm.

We opened the door and Sophie saw us first. She noticed Bella, shouted "Mommy!" and then her eyes fell on the person next to her mom, me. Her eyes grew larger and the whole class could hear "My Edward!" coming from her mouth. She grabbed her picture and rushed in our direction. Rachel had heard her sister and glanced at where she was going. The second she realized we were there, she dropped the toys from her hands on the floor and flew into my arms.

"Look I made for you!" Sophie sped threw her words, showing Bella and I her drawing, "This is Mommy, see, Mommy has a dress and this is Chichi and Fifi and the baby."

"A baby?" Bella`s forehead creased as we both looked at a tiny circle presumably for a head and a few "sticks" imitating limbs on the paper.

"Jane and Alec`s mom brought the baby with her this morning and everybody in the class wants a baby today," the teacher laughed.

"Oh, I see," Bella sighed, "I thought they were fantasizing again."

"It`s normal at this stage, even the boys coo to babies. Rachel and Sophie are both very gentle and caring and they enjoy dressing and feeding their dollies. They used to talk about a baby brother for some time, but today it`s all because of their friends` baby brother."

_Interesting._

We helped the twins tidy up their toys and said goodbye to their teachers and friends.

Before we headed home Bella stopped at a grocery store. Rachel and Sophie wanted to wait with me so we sat on a bench outside the store and chatted about school and what they did on their "vacation" in Phoenix.

"Gampa Phil got us ice cream," Rachel said while dangling her feet off the wooden seat.

"Great. Was it vanilla?" I asked.

"No, it was chocolate!" She grinned to me and licking her lips for effect. I chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

"And what else did you do?"

"My Mommy cried," Sophie blurted out sadly.

"Oh," I answered to the unexpected revelation, "Maybe Mommy wasn`t feeling well."

"I cried too," she recalled dramatically.

"And what made you cry, Sophie?"

"Because I missed you," she confessed with a deep sigh and a shrug of shoulders.

An instant clutch grabbed a hold of something in my chest, "You missed _me_? Oh baby girl, come here," I pulled her onto my lap, "I missed you too, a lot! I missed you and Chichi and Mommy. But it`s OK now, we`re all home and everything is fine. There`s no need to worry, alright?"

Sophie nodded and Rachel leaned into my arm. I looked at the store entrance to see Bella standing there, cocking her head to the side and smiling lightly.

_My god, this beautiful woman is here with me… And we have two kids together…Somebody pinch me!_

…..

At bathtime I rolled up my sleeves and squatted beside the tub as the girls did their favorite splashing about. I loved watching them, their happy faces stretched in wide smiles, their big bright eyes and plump hands. And their constant giggles when I accepted a cup of foamy, soapy `tea`.

_My flesh and blood._

"Hi guys, how`s it going up here?" Bella stood in the doorway with a kitchen timer in her hand.

"Mommy, I`m not shrinking yet!" Rachel informed her mother and went back to pouring water through a funnel.

"Will you be shrinking soon enough though, `cos dinner`s almost ready?"

"OK, in seven seconds!" She answered solemnly. I bit my lip not to laugh.

"Seven seconds? That`s very soon. I was going to give you five minutes, but if you wanna come out in seven seconds, you`re very welcome," Bella sang and winked at me.

"Which is more?" Rachel inquired looking at Mom.

Bella smiled warmly, "Five minutes is more."

"OK, I want five minutes then."

"Please?"

"Please, Mommy."

"OK," Bella shook her head, "I`ll set the timer for five minutes and then we`ll get you out, alright?"

Both girls nodded and Bella left for a moment to come back with two large towels. She kneeled down beside me and joined in the children`s game. Sophie was scrubbing her rubber ducks clean with a sponge when it slipped out of her hand and landed in the water with a loud plop. The splash reached us all.

"Uh oh," she opened her eyes wide.

"Oops, we`re all gonna be wet," Bella joked and wiped the drops off her face.

I flicked my fingers on the surface of the water and sprinkled Sophie. She laughed and before we knew it, she pushed a wave towards the wall of the tub, making the soaking wet sponge and some water fly over the edge and onto me and the floor.

Rachel covered her face with a hand and looked over the edge along with her sister, "Oh no, not again!"

They both looked at their mother. Bella walked to the door with the wet sponge and tossed it into the bathtub, "Catch!"

The two tots squeaked and spluttered and rubbed their faces. Without thinking I grabbed the sponge and squeezed it over Rachel`s arm. Then I stood up and pretended to run to Bella for comfort, "They`re gonna splash again, Bella, I don`t wanna get wet, save me!" I laughed when the sponge hit the door beside me. I caught it and threw it back into the water. By that time Sophie had picked up another sponge and tossed it across the room at Bella. Both children felt encouraged and didn`t hold back. It was a proper battle! The floor was losing badly, the walls were getting soaked and Bella and I were failing miserably. When the girls started throwing one sponge at each other I chanced it and slammed another one at Bella`s chest. Her dripping clothes clung to her shapely body and the memories of that silky skin in my hands clouded my mind instantly. She looked me right in the eyes and swallowed thickly when I leaned in and connected my lips with hers. I didn`t have to ask twice; she kept her eyes half-open and tasted my mouth the way she loves to.

Aware of the children I sighed and whispered directly into her ear, "I miss you."

She shivered against me and I resumed the kiss. I was struggling to stop after each little peck, just one more, and another one, just a sweet taste of the tip of her tantalizing tongue.

DRRRRRRR!

The timer sobered us both up.

"Game over," Bella whispered but her hands lingered on the wet clothes on my chest.

We turned to the side. Sophie and Rachel looked at us curious and amused.

…..

An hour and a half later we finished reading the bedtime story and the twins asked me for their special prayer.

"My guardian angel, look left and right; keep me safe and happy every day and night," I said.

"Oh, so _this_ is the special prayer you`ve been telling me about," Bella said to the girls, "It`s very sweet, Edward. They were asking me for it when we were in Phoenix."

"Mommy, tell yours now," Rachel prompted.

"Angels of God, from Heavens so bright, watch over my children and guide them right;

wrap your arms round them and guard them with love –"

"… and sing to them softly from Heaven above," I finished with her.

"You know it?" Bella turned to me.

"My Mom said it for us when we were young."

Bella smiled at me.

"What`s your mommy called?" Came from Sophie.

"You`ve met my mommy. Her name is Esme, remember? And my daddy, Carlisle is a doctor. Then there`s Emmett, my brother and Alice, my sister."

"I don`t have a brother," she said.

_Let Daddy take care of that, baby girl. _

"Not everybody has siblings. You don`t have a brother, but you have a sister."

"Chichi is my sister," she agreed.

"That`s right; and you are Chichi`s sister."

They both seemed delighted with the `revelation`.

_You have a daddy, too._

"Goodnight then, little sisters."

…..

Bella had two large photo albums ready to show me so we sat with a jug of iced tea and drifted into the first days, weeks and months of my children`s lives. Bella guided me from the moment she found out she was expecting to the girls` first birthday. The toys they liked, the first sounds they uttered, the foods that they enjoyed and the ones that evoked the funniest grimaces on their sweet faces, first smiles, first boo-boo`s, fascination with bubbles and toothbrushes, and utter love for strawberries and raspberries which they loved to mash with their fingers before eating them. Bella has a talent for tale telling and she literally took me back in time and made me feel and experience all she said as if I had been there for real. It was as if I`d suffered from amnesia and she was remembering for me, just as she had promised.

"I`ll tell you more next time, I hope you don`t feel overwhelmed by the amount of information," she said apologetically.

"I`ll never feel overwhelmed, honey. I will never have enough of the girls. And I will never have enough of _you_," I finished with a kiss on her lips. "Thank you for doing it for me, Bella."

"You`re welcome," she mused against my mouth. "Besides, I can ramble about my beautiful and perfect babies to someone who actually cares."

"Great," I said and pulled her closer for another deep caress.

"Mmmm," she murmured with enthusiasm, so I continued until we needed to catch a breath.

"I wanted to ask you something," I began, striking Bella`s cheek with a finger. "What would you say if I wanted to take the girls out for a day; sort of a daddy-daughters date."

Bella chewed her lower lip, "I would say `yes`."

"You`re sure? I know it feels weird to you."

"It feels… unusual, but I like the idea. I want you three to learn about each other and have a relationship without me as much as with me in the picture. This is what I have always wanted, Edward. The main thing now is you and your children to form a strong bond, though you know well that they adore every bit of you already. They each call you `_my_ Edward`, did you hear them?"

"I did and I love it."

"See? It should be me who feels a little left out, I mean if you`re _theirs_ –"

"Oh, shut up," I closed her mouth with my own again and she fell limply into my embrace.

…..

"OK princesses, say bye to Mommy and let`s go!" I suggested to my children on a glorious Sunday morning.

"Remember the red bag!" Bella called from upstairs.

"Yeah, sure," I answered absentmindedly and fished my pockets for the car keys.

"Is Mommy staying at home?" Rachel asked for the tenth time.

"Yes love, today is only you, Sophie and I. Mommy will have a nice day too."

"Mommy will get some laundry sorted," Bella threw in walking down the steps.

"No, no, no. You are supposed to take it easy today," I protested.

"Relax," she laughed, "I`ll just fold the clothes before I go to see Rose and Alice. I`ll put my feet up, promise."

"Good," I pecked her on the cheek, "Remember, you have me and now you can have girls` nights out or just stay in and read a book uninterrupted. We`ll work it all out."

"It`ll take time to get used to the good stuff," she chuckled.

"We`re doing this together, Bella."

"Together," she nodded.

"Alright," I turned to Sophie and Rachel, "Big kisses for Mommy and off we go, troops!"

"Off we go!" Rachel chanted.

"Bye bye, Mommy."

"Bye bye, sweeties, have a wonderful day!"

The kids hopped into my car and Bella watched from the doorway until I gave her a final wave and closed the driver`s door.

"Tell me, who`s excited about our adventure?" I asked my precious passengers.

"Me!"

"Me too!"

"That`s what I`m talking about!" I exclaimed.

"Are we going to see little bunnies now?" Rachel was curious.

"Yes, we are."

"Hurrah!" She clapped.

I drove and we sang and chatted to pass the time. I kept asking the kids to guess which way we were going.

"That way, Edward!" Rachel pointed through the window at some point.

"Which is it? Left or right?"

"I don`t know."

"Well, where did I show you your heart was?"

"Here," she patted her chest and I nodded looking through the rearview mirror.

"Perfect. And your heart is on the _left_ side of your body, remember? So the arm close to the heart is _left_ as well."

"Oh," she answered.

"Good girl. So, show me your left hand, lift it up."

Sophie who`d been watching us raised her hand too.

"Great. Now show me your right hands."

"Here!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Yes, _this_ is your right hand. So which way should we go now, _left _or_ right_?"

"Left," the choir from the back responded.

"Excellent! Left it is!"

_God, I can definitely see myself in them!_

"It`s the wrong _erection_, Edward!" I heard from Sophie two minutes later. Stupidly, I looked down at my pants.

"The wrong what, baby?"

"It`s the wrong _erection_," she repeated politely and I had to bite my lip to prevent an outburst of laughter.

"You mean we`re going in the wrong _direction_?"

"Yeah!" She agreed innocently.

"OK, we`ll change _direction _then, I think you`re right, we can pull over on the other side of the parking lot," I finished with a chuckle.

A while later we were patting young animals. I snapped pictures and videoed the girls stroking the soft fur of small kittens and feeding some puppies. They were in their element, gentle, giggly, excited and fearless. The animals were as playful as the children who came to see them. Sophie and Rachel laughed their silly kiddie laughs when four puppies fell over one another and wagged their tails wildly trying to get closer to the girls.

The three of us "baa-ed" loudly along with the young lambs and the girls` small fingers disappeared in their white wooly coats. Standing face to face with snorting piglets had me in stiches and after that all three of us got to pet the ponies and bottle feed a goat. We walked with a deer and the girls sang a song to an astounded and friendly elk.

About an hour later when we finally arrived at the rabbits` hutches, my daughters went crazy with joy. They cuddled the creatures, fed and watched them and we ended up spending over twenty minutes with the bunnies only. The woman who takes care of the rabbits told me what great pets they make and I imagined Bella and I buying our daughters a rabbit as a pet. When did I become such a softie I have no idea, but who cares anyway?

I was going to enjoy my hero status for the fact that we saw the bunnies, and forego the wildest animals that I knew they had at the petting zoo, but who knew that little girls have eyes around their heads; they felt pulled towards the snakes and wild cats.

Did I want my children anywhere near a deadly beast? No chance, but try to say `no` to two coolest kiddos around, kiddos that two weeks earlier I didn`t even know I had! Rachel and Sophie were so eager to get in there that I wasn`t sure who was more fierce, them or the python. I saw another father coming out with his young son, both intact and looking like they`d just climbed Mount Everest and it was decided, we had to try.

The keeper sat me down on a bench and slowly placed the serpent around my shoulders. I sat still knowing that my kids were watching me closely and I hoped that they didn`t see the drops of sweat covering my forehead. We heard about the pythons` life style, their food and habits and I watched my children reach out their hands towards the scaly skin. They listened to the keeper and their eyes grew huge at the contact. I was ridiculously proud!

Before we left we were directed to leopard cubs. They looked at us calmly and seemed playful and interested in seeing visitors. The sight of their teeth when they yawned would make you wonder what on Earth made you bring your defenseless offspring to their proximity, but as it turned out my physically defenseless little cubs simply loved the `kitties`. They were furry, soft, had blue eyes and made funny noises, what else would you want? Sophie and Rachel explained to the keeper that tigers had stripes but cheetahs had spots just like leopards and on that note we said goodbye to the place; just in time since it was beginning to rain.

Before we got back on the road the Rachel asked to go to the restroom. I brought them to the building and then… stopped in my tracks.

_Where do I bring little girls? _

Rachel started `dancing` around.

"Baby, let me just think. See, we need to ask someone to bring you to the toilet, OK? I can`t go with you," I said looking around.

"Why?"

"I can`t bring you… Excuse me," I started seeing a woman coming in with about a five-year-old girl, "Could I possibly ask you to bring my daughters to the restroom; I`m alone here with them today."

"Of course I`ll bring them," she smiled and I let out a sigh of relief, "Would you like to come with me, girls? We`ll be back in a moment," she extended a hand to Rachel.

My relief was turned to dust when Rachel retreated and shrank to appear as small as possible against my thigh.

"I want to stay with you," she said to me sadly.

Sophie looked up at the woman a little more trustfully.

"Sweetheart, we`ll be back in a little moment, I`ll just help you in the bathroom," the woman repeated brightly.

I was perplexed.

"Sophie, do you need to go, too?"

She nodded and came closer to me.

"Will you go with the lady then? I`ll be here the whole time, I promise."

"OK," she answered quietly.

_Hallelluyah!_

"Great girl, Sophie!" I smiled and turned to my other daughter, "Rachel, there you go, see, Sophie`s coming with you."

No way, she wouldn`t budge.

I kneeled down to face her, "Angel, you`re a girl and I can`t bring you to the boys` toilet and I can`t go to the girls` toilet with you, because I`m a boy and boys aren`t allowed in there."

Her face twisted into a horseshoe, "I want my mommy," she said in that I`m-gonna-cry-in-a-second voice.

"Alright baby, it`s OK, we`ll sort it out," I calmed her.

I thanked the woman for wanting to help and she went on her way. Luckily seconds later a manager came by and let us into the baby changing room where there was a toilet as well. I was saved. Rachel brightened up quickly and was excited about the rest of the day again.

Uncle Emmett`s restaurant for lunch sounded exciting to my girls so we washed hands and were going to leave the building and say goodbye to the zoo. As we started for the door though, I saw a crowd blocking the exit. The drizzle had turned into a downpour and it looked like we were going to be stuck inside for some time. The car was near but we would be drenched within seconds. Some mothers put raincoats on their kids and braved the run to the cars or the bus stop in what it looked like a wall of rain. My girls looked up at me.

"We have raincoats too," Rachel stated.

"I`m afraid we don`t, love."

"Mommy always has them."

I shook my head, smiling, "I`m sure she does, Rachel, but Mommy`s not here now so we need to manage on our own. Deal?"

"OK," she nodded unsurely.

_Great, they`re gonna get wet and catch a cold and I`m gonna get my hands slapped by Bella. What was I thinking taking the children out for the day on my own?_

"Mommy has a lot of things in the car, in the bag," Sophie explained to me kindly.

"Wait, in a bag? A _red_ bag?"

"Yep."

"Oops. That`s the one thing that we forgot, girls. The red bag is still in the house!" I threw my hands in the air with the biggest smile I could muster and thankfully, they saw the hilarity of the situation and began giggling and laughing.

"You`re a silly billy," Sophie `accused` me.

"I sure am! You know what, the rain isn`t as heavy but we don`t know how long it will go on for. We aren`t made of sugar so we won`t melt in the rain. We can make a dash to the car. We`ll get wet but it`ll be fun, who`s with me?"

"Me!"

"Me!"

"Cool, let`s go then!"

In that moment I noticed a few people who`d been watching our scene with curious smiles. We excused ourselves and left the building.

"Off to Uncle Emmett`s now!" I shouted ushering the children in front of me. They squeaked, jumped and laughed and I thought that maybe I wasn`t such a disaster of a dad.

We got to the car and slammed the doors.

"Woohoo, we did it!" I called out and shook the rain off my hair, "Was that fun?"

"Yes!"

"It was cool!" Sophie added.

"You`re right, it _was_ cool! High fives, everyone!"

With Mooky and Iggy tucked under their owners` arms I started the engine and scooted through town again. Funnily enough about two minutes later the rain stopped and the girls `wow-ed` loudly watching a double rainbow in the sky.

I could see the children getting a bit tired and definitely hungry, but their spirits were high. They talked about the animals we`d seen and they decided that Mommy has to come with us next time.

"Are we there yet?" Rachel asked me suddenly.

"Just one minute, baby, I promise. Why, is your tummy rumbling?"

"Oh, yeah," she nodded and I laughed to myself.

"It`s just round the corner but we need to wait for the green lights and the traffic is busy at the moment."

"Why?" Came from Sophie.

"Many people are visiting their families or going to museums or galleries today."

"Why?"

"Why? Because it`s a Sunday today and children don`t go to school and mommies and daddies don`t go to work, so they can do things together, just like we are doing."

"Oh."

I gave her a smile and a wink reflecting in the mirror.

"Some people just drive very slowly," I said to myself wishing for the traffic to pick up.

"I know," Sophie added seriously, "People are so _tomplitated_ sometimes."

_Pardon?_

"Why do you think people are complicated, baby?"

"Because they take a hundred years too long to drive!"

This one was too much, I burst out laughing.

"You`re right, Sophie. They`re taking too long and our tummies are empty!"

"Yes, uhm," she finished.

"What are we going to eat anyway? Sophie?"

"I don`t know."

"We`ll see what`s on the menu."

"What`s a menu?"

"It`s a card that tells you the names of the dishes that you can choose from in a restaurant."

"OK."

"So we`ll read the menu and then we`ll know what we want to eat."

"Or we can giggle it," she offered and it cracked me up again.

"Giggle it?"

"Yeah, Mommy does it in the _puter_, she goes _giggle giggle_ and then she knows things."

"You mean _google google_?"

A nod.

"I see. And Rachel, honey, what is your tummy asking for?"

"Mommy said I can have _basketti_."

I bit my lip at her seriousness, "No problem, _spaghetti_ it is, let`s go in."

We were halfway through _basketti_ when Emmett came in and he sat down with us. The girls told him about the bunnies and cats and goats and that later on we were going to go to the park to see if the little ducklings were out in the pond yet.

"This sounds so good, you lot. Can I come with you?" My brother raised his brows.

"No," a small tomato-ey face answered.

"What? You won`t bring me with you?"

"No," Rachel continued, "Today is only for children and… Edwards."

"Oh, I understand. What if my name was Edward, could I come along then?"

"You can`t, silly," Rachel chuckled again, "Your name is Emmett and… and… well, you aren`t _our_ Edward."

My brother winked at me.

"Oh well, then we`ll have to have an Emmett day too so you can show me the goats and snakes."

"Okay."

"That`s a deal. Would you like some ice cream and babyccino afterwards?"

"Yes, please," both girls replied in sync. My brother patted me on the shoulder, ensured that I wanted the usual espresso and left us.

I sat and watched my daughters eat their dessert and stir the foam in their drinks with pink straws. I didn`t even want to think how utterly empty my life must have been before I met Bella and the twins. I never dwelled on it and thought that I was OK, but I guess sometimes you don`t realize how un-OK you are until someone comes along and fills you with things you never thought possible. I wasn`t desperately unhappy a year earlier but that`s only because I didn`t know who and what I had been missing out on all this time.

An incoming message on my phone made me blink and sober up.

`Everything OK? Was the zoo fun? Did you get caught in the rain? I miss you, guys. B.`

`We miss you too : -) Eating lunch in ECLIPSE now. The animals were awesome and yes, we got wet. I think I forgot the red bag… Bad Edward.`

`Yeah, the bag is in the house, with the girls` parkas, some spare clothes, tissues, toilet roll, and snacks in it, haha. Oh, and the bread for the ducks. Have a great time! P.S. I like bad Edward, puts images in my head ; -) B.`

_Images in her head, interesting. We`ve kissed and cuddled since she`s back but yeah, no sweet fun under the sheets yet. She sounds ready though, doesn`t she?_

I suggested to the girls that we go to my place and they have a nap before we go to the park, and their silent nods confirmed that indeed, they were ready for a snooze. My own yawn made me think it would be a good idea for me to lie down too. I was working for a few hours tonight and doing the dad stuff on my own was making me tired. Young children must have extra batteries in them! Once again I thought how much I appreciated Bella and all she`d been doing by herself for so long.

This time there were no funny conversations with my princesses. I barely drove round the corner from the restaurant and Sophie`s head was already drooping. A minute later I told Rachel that it was OK if she wanted to close her eyes too and immediately she stopped fighting the sleep. I parked the car in my spot in my apartment building but decided against waking the children up and carrying them upstairs to the bed. Instead I relaxed in my seat and closed my eyes too.

…..

The sounds of car doors and voices woke me up. Several feet away some neighbors were getting out of their vehicle with their two kids. My Rachel shifted in the back seat and searched for Mooky. I checked my watch; we`d slept for over an hour, the girls even longer than I.

"Are we going to the park now?" Sleepy Sophie inquired a few moments later.

"Do you wanna go? You` aren`t too tired?"

"No, I had a big sleep."

"No worries. We forgot the red bag so we don`t have any bread for the ducks. We`ll buy some on the way."

"OK."

"And what does Mommy usually put in the red bag for you for snack? Crackers or cookies?"

"Cookies and apples, but you have to cut them first," Rachel explained.

"Right, we don`t have a knife to cut apples but we`ll get some cookies and maybe bananas?"

"And we`ll eat them like monkeys, oo, oo, oo, oo!" She joked.

"What a good idea!"

"But you need to be careful and eat slowly so you don`t choke, it`s very _portant_," her sister added.

"You`re right. But what does it mean that somebody is choking?"

"Well, the food gets stuck in his throat and it hurts."

I nodded to myself with pride.

_Doctor_ _in the making._

"And who told you all these important things?"

"Mommy did. Mommy knows many things."

"And if she isn`t sure, she goes _google google_?" I joked.

"Yep. When I`m a big girl like Mommy I will have a _puter_ too."

"Sure you will. And you`ll go _google google_?" I couldn`t stop myself.

"Yep."

We got the bread for the ducks and the snacks for us and went to the park. It was the first day of May but to my astonishment two mother ducks had already taken their young out for a paddle. My own little ones were delighted. They threw tiny pieces of bread to the brownish yellowish ducklings and then skipped along the pond quacking together with the birds. Then we sat on the bench for cookies, bananas and some water.

I took in the scene around me; families with young kids walked by, with babies peeking out of their prams and their older siblings hopping beside them. A father taught his son to ride a bicycle. A couple kissed. A mother sat two benches from us and covered her bare breast with a piece a muslin underneath which her baby was feeding on her milk. Some teenage girls sat on the grass reading. It was quiet and peaceful. My eyes followed a guy who walked to the breastfeeding woman and kissed her on the lips. She smiled and he sat beside her, watching his child with pride. The dad whose son circled the grass on the bike without help yelled `you did son, you did it, I`m proud of you!" A pair of grandchildren pointed at the ducks and laughed with their grandparents. I thought that maybe one day Esme and Carlisle could bring Sophie and Rachel to the park too. The scent of peach shampoo made me lean into two little heads beside me. All the people around seemed to have a reason to smile and be proud. I also had two reasons.

"Hello there?" A female voice interrupted my reverie.

"Emma," I looked up at the girls` teacher, "How are you?"

"I`m very well, thank you. Hello Rachel, hello Sophie. Are you enjoying the sunshine?"

"Yes. We went to see bunnies today and the snakes!" Sophie jumped and Rachel nodded next to her.

The teacher glanced at me.

"We went to the petting zoo this morning," I said.

"Oh, that`s exciting! Was it great, girls?"

"The snake was big but I wasn`t scared," Sophie reported proudly.

"Me too, I wasn`t scared," Rachel shook her head.

"You`ll have to tell me more about it tomorrow in school."

"I will tell you everything," Rachel promised.

"I`m looking forward to it. Are you waiting for your mommy or is she having some time off today?"

"Mommy`s relaxing," I said, "Today is the daddy-daughters date."

"Oh," she raised her brows.

"I had to move here a long time ago and Bella stayed in Phoenix with the girls for the first two years of their lives. Now we`re finally all together."

"I understand, sometimes you can`t just leave you job and be where you want to be for some time. I`m waiting for my sister now; her husband runs a business out of Seattle and there are times when he doesn`t see his kids for two or three weeks straight."

"Exactly."

"I`m glad your family is in full forces, Edward. I see my sister coming. It was lovely to see you, till tomorrow then."

"Bye, Emma."

_Wow, that went easier than we`d anticipated._

Bella and I came up with a tale that we were going to tell people who didn`t need to know our whole history; we were together in Phoenix a few years back but then my job brought me to Seattle and Bella stayed behind. She had the girls and we stayed in contact but when last year she had an opportunity to move to Seattle as well, we decided that we`d been apart for long and for the sake of the children we`ve been reconnecting slowly and still have separate places to live. This or the less detailed version of the tale was to protect the children and the circumstances of their conception. Luckily, this teacher was either discreet and respectful or she really took what I`d told her for truth. Whichever way, the news will travel the school and it will clear that I`m not only Bella`s man but the children`s father.

"How about we check out the swings and slides?"

Two heads bobbed feverishly so we walked to the playground.

"Daddy, catch me, catch me!" Broke through my cloud. Rachel was about to go down the slide and was already stretching her arms out to me.

_Did she just call me `daddy`? Nah, must have been someone else calling their father._

"Look, a butterfly!" Sophie called a minute later and I was still contemplating whether or not Rachel had said that word…

_My god, what a fool; they don`t know you`re their father! But maybe she really just blurted it out hearing other children call their dads? _

After nearly another hour of madness on the swings, slides and merry-go-rounds I finally managed to lure the twins out of the playground.

"Rachel, we`re here, love, come over!" I waved at her with Sophie standing beside me holding my hand.

Rachel looked around confused though she was only several feet from us.

"Look, your dad`s right there," some man with a kid in his arms pointed at me and Rachel followed his eyes.

Funny how the world around me seemed to know I was a dad. I had been labeled the girls` father many times before I had learned that they were really mine and I always took it with pride but now it was a whole new ball game.

We got back to Bella`s house a few minutes after six, tired, hungry and ridiculously happy.

"Oh my, look who`s back!" She called out to us from the doorway, "How are you all doing?"

"Hi, baby," I winked at her and pecked her on the nose.

Those were the only words I was able to throw in for the next hour; it`s astonishing how much even such young females talk! "Mommy we saw a snake and we had basketti and babyccino and ice cream and the goat had milk and the bunnies were soft mommy can we have a bunny and Edward forgot the bag and we got wet and then we saw two rainbows and we _falled_ asleep in the car and…" you catch my drift ; -) I decided that my safest bet was to sit down and enjoy the meal.

"Thank you," Bella held me from behind in the kitchen after dinner, when the girls were having a quiet play in the living room.

"What for?" I turned around to face her.

"For today. They`ve had so much fun and I believe you enjoyed the day as well?"

"I did –" I said but she cut me off.

"Edward, would you like to tell the girls that who you are to them so they can call you `dad`? I mean, not necessarily today, I know it`s a lot to take in, but –"

"I`m dying to do it, Bella. I don`t really mind if they call me `dad` though I must say it would expand my ego enormously, but just for them to know that I`m their father… I want to tell them. Wherever we went today people took me for their dad and I could swear Rachel called me `dad` at some point in the park. She probably didn`t but I heard what I wanted to hear."

"Just tell me when and we`ll do it. If you wanna tell them now, let`s go right away, they`re next door."

I swallowed thickly, "Um…"

"It`s OK, when you`re ready," she rubbed my hand.

"I`m ready _now_," I whispered and she smiled lightly.

She took me by the hand and we entered the room where the girls were re-living the scenes from the petting zoo. We sat on either side of them, opposite each other.

"What are you playing?" Bella began.

"We`re zookeepers," Rachel announced.

"Oh, I see, just like you saw today with Edward?"

"Yep."

"And you loved your special day, didn`t you? It was Rachel and Sophie and Edward."

"Uhm. We did special things."

"Well, you know, Mommy and Edward have something super special thing to tell you, too. Do you remember when I told you that your daddy couldn't be with us and that he was far away?"

Two little foreheads creased. Bella frowned as well and thought for a second.

"You know that every child has a mommy and a daddy, don't you?" She tried again.

Sophie looked up at her mom, "And Fifi and Chichi have Mommy and Edward!"

"That`s right, baby, but that`s not all. The very special thing is that Edward is your daddy!"

I closed my eyes for a moment.

"Oh," the children said and looked at me. I watched them with a shy smile. Rachel`s eyes widened, "Why?"

"Why is Edward your daddy? He just is. He loves Mommy and Mommy loves Edward very much and one day, a long time ago we decided to have two little girls. One is called Sophie and she has dark brown hair and brown eyes like Mommy and the other one`s name is Rachel and she has bronze hair and green eyes like Daddy. But we love you both just the same."

"OK," Sophie agreed after a short consideration and then she added, "And we are sisters!"

"Yes, sweetie, Rachel and you are sisters, this will never change."

After another nod from our daughters Bella and I exchanged reassuring looks. Clearly, the children didn't quite understand the whole idea of parenthood and it didn't matter to them, they were both loved and that was all that counted.

"So, girls, you can call Edward `daddy`, if you want."

"And you are Mommy!" You would think Sophie discovered a new land.

"Yes, I am, Baby."

As if nothing happened, they went back to their toys. Bella and I stayed with them for a while in case of any questions and then left the room.

"Easy peasy," Bella said to me when we walked down the hall, "See, they know you love them and at this age mommy, daddy are just words to them, like first names. It will probably take some time, but they`ll get used to it."

…..

The children were given a quick shower and to finish _my_ day with them, it was me who put them to bed. We combed hair, brushed teeth and read a book. They were exhausted but elated.

We`d done the kissing routine and said the prayers and I thought I was done, when Rachel pulled my face closer to hers.

"Do you have green eyes?"

"Yes, I have, Rachel."

"I have green eyes, too," she said with a little smile.

"That's because I`m your daddy and your eyes and hair are the same color as mine," I knew she was processing what Bella had told them earlier.

"But I have brown eyes!" Sophie was quick to throw in.

"That's right, you have beautiful brown hair and eyes just like…?"

"Mommy!" They both let out with a laugh.

"Yay! Alright, cheeky monkeys, time to sleep now." I tucked Rachel into bed, "Good night, my angel," I kissed her forehead.

"Good night, Daddy," she whispered back, watching my reaction intensely. I thanked God that the light in the room was dim and Rachel couldn't see my eyes fill with tears.

"Good night, sweetie pie," Sophie got a kiss on the forehead as well.

"Good night."

I got up and walked to the door.

"Good night!" Rachel called out again.

"Sleep well, girls. See you in the morning." 

"Bye, Daddy," said Sophie this time and I felt a lump in my throat.

It was merely an hour after Bella had told them `the special thing` and they were obviously just testing how it sounded and how I would react, but it almost reduced me to pieces. Just being in their lives, watching them grow would be amazing, but hearing them calling me `daddy`, that was something else. I couldn't be prouder if I bought the fastest and the flashiest car in the world.

I found Bella in the kitchen, putting leftovers away.

"Hi, handsome, how did it go? Do you know "The Gruffalo" by heart yet?"

"We only read it once, surprise, surprise! They were really tired," I held her tightly and played with her hair.

"I know, they were worn out," she giggled against my chest, "Your heart is racing, Edward, are you alright?"

"They called me `daddy`, Bella."

"Pardon?" She looked up and fixed her gaze on me.

"Both girls called me `daddy`."

"Just now?" 

I nodded. "Yes. I didn't prompt them and I know they were just playing with the idea, but all on their own, one by one they called me `daddy`. I thought that after I touched a real python and a leopard today, nothing would faze me," I joked, "And look at me, I`m a total pussy."

"A python and a leopard, don`t remind me, brrr!" She shrugged dramatically.

"The leopard was just a small cub but still, thinking how it could potentially shred me to pieces in just a few months` time was scary and exhilarating at the same time. And the girls amazed me, to them it was just a cat, you know? They`re fearless at this age."

"They believe they can do absolutely anything and the world is just one big playground."

"They`re right," I stressed.

"I love what you did today. See, I like to imagine my children as people who aren`t afraid to take risks and who go into things with faith and enthusiasm. I wouldn`t even _consider _letting them go anywhere near a python or a wild cat!" She shook her head, "But _you_ let them do it. When we go to the park, _you_ allow them to go down the biggest slide; you are inches from them in case they need to be caught, but still, you put that incredible smile of thrill on their faces. I steer them away from that big slide. _You_ are teaching them what I only dream they would learn magically."

I pulled her closer again, "Honey, you`ve been bringing up two toddlers by yourself. I`m learning from _you_, baby; _you_ are the brave one here."

"Well… let`s agree we`re both awesome, what do you think?"

"That`s my girl," I kissed her forehead, "And for your information I was scared shitless with the python`s eyes inches from mine. But it felt good, you should try it sometime."

"I will," she said, "I`m the only one in the family who hasn`t touched a lethal snake yet."

"I know, right? Your… I mean, _our_ less-then-three-year-olds have! Though the rabbits made the biggest impression on them I must say, all they talked about afterwards were the bunnies."

"They looked like they were on top of the world when you came back; the rosy cheeks and the sparkling eyes. Speaking of _almost_ three-year-olds, their birthday`s coming up."

"Partytime."

"Do you think your parents and siblings would like to come?"

"They`ll be over the moon, Bella, thank you."

"We`re family."

"We are."

She suddenly looked at me closely, "How does it feel? Being called a `daddy`; how is it?"

"Oh good lord, it`s surreal and amazing."

"That`s because _you_ are amazing, Edward and I hate to tell you, but you`re kind of stuck with us now."

"I`ll be glued to you forever."

"And in the coming days if the girls still call you by your first name it`ll be only because they`ve forgotten you new `name`."

"Of course."

"We`ll just keep referring back to you as `daddy` and they will learn quickly."

"I know."

"You`ve got to tell me how it went today. Any problems?"

"Not really. We just had a situation where I couldn`t bring them to the restroom myself and Rachel refused to go with someone else. In the end we used the baby changing facility."

"You can always do that; just ask the managers wherever you are. I`m sorry, I forgot to tell you."

"No sweat, I learned on my own. And then of course I forgot the red bag and we got wet and things like that. But the highlights of my day were the girls using their own mixed up words. The stuff they come up with are hysterical, Bella."

"Tell me about it. I loved when they were younger and said `Otay` instead of `Okay` and wait for this one," she laughed to herself, "They said `die` instead of `bye`, so imagine guests leaving the house and my baby girls wave their hands and both shout `Die, die!`"

"You`re kidding, that mush have been mad."

"It was soooo funny, you have no idea."

"I like when something goes wrong and they both hold their faces and go `Oh no, I don`t believe it!`"

"My mom was in stiches every time ketchup was on the table because Rachel used to call it `te-tup` and Sophie would point at it and shout `check-up, yum!`

"They are priceless."

"Anyway, let`s have some tea and you`ll tell me what they came up with today, how about that, _Daddy_?"

"Argh, you`re gonna turn me into a pile of goo again," I accused her and added to myself, "I`m a strong guy, I held a python today, I held a python today, I held a python today…"

Bella couldn`t contain the laughter.


	32. Chapter 32

**To my beta bethroann – big, big, biiiiig hug to you, my darling! **

**To everyone reading, reviewing, adding Back Home to your favourites and alerts – you rock! Thank you so much!**

**Chapter 32 BPOV**

**LIFE IS GOOD**

It was a lovely morning and the sun cast warm slivers of light on the bathroom walls. I brushed my teeth and listened to Edward and my, I mean _our_ daughters talking and setting the breakfast table downstairs. My babies were turning three today and I smiled to myself in the mirror. Three years previously I was elated and felt like the luckiest woman on Earth when the doctor handed me two most beautiful infants the world had ever seen; but at the same time I was terrified that I wouldn`t be enough, and that I had cheated them out of a daddy. Now my eyes glimmered with joy and love not only for my children, but also for their father. Even if I had been paid a billion dollars I would have never predicted that my life would have unveiled itself the way it did. Something or someone, somewhere in the universe never gave up on me and I kept promising myself that I would reciprocate; I declared goodness, beauty and love over me, my family and friends and it was going to stay that way.

"Honey, are you ready?" Edward popped his head through the open bathroom door with a smile.

"I was born ready," I answered theatrically and returned the smile, "I was just thinking how awesome my life is."

He winked at me and we walked to the kitchen where we sang "Happy Birthday" to Sophie and Rachel and had a piece of their cake, at breakfast! Then we watched them open the presents, a kitchen set for Sophie (Emmett`s idea) and a doctor`s kit for Rachel. Who came up with the latter, I won`t tell ; -) We also got them two books that they loved at school and couldn`t stop talking about. The wrapping paper was flying everywhere and the squeaking and giggling sounded like Christmas morning in May! The girls were over the moon! Edward cradled my hand in his and squeezed it each time the children "wow"-ed or "ah"-ed. I don`t think he realized that he was doing it; his eyes sparkled with glee as he celebrated his babies` birthday for the first time.

I had been telling him stories about our life in Phoenix and the girls` first two years, up to the day at the zoo eight months previously, when I thought that he was Alice`s husband for a moment, and he met Rachel and Sophie. Now we tie loose ends and laugh at these memories together.

I was working from home. Edward had a two hour window in the middle of the day and joined me for lunch. We sat at the table opposite each other and chatted about the twins` birthday celebrations. This was going to be big, as big as our family had become.

"Did your parents call to confirm Saturday?" He asked taking a bite of salmon salad.

"Yeah, my Dad will be here with Jake and the gang on Friday afternoon."

"And Mom and Phil?"

I placed the piece of bread from my hand back on the plate, "I spoke to Renèe this morning and she said she was flying in on Friday evening as planned, but Phil is very busy. She sounded a little off, Edward and I don`t like it. Phil has hardly been there for the past few months I think and it`s taking its toll on Mom. She wasn`t herself when we were on the phone this morning and come to think of it, she wasn`t in a particularly good form when I was in Phoenix with the kids. I hope she`s only missing Phil and she`s not sick and not telling me," I wondered aloud.

"She told me the same thing when I met her for a while in Phoenix; that Phil was out a lot."

"And then I `popped in` for an impromptu visit with the children," I shook my head, "I was so absorbed by my own thoughts that it`s only clear to me now that something was off…"

"Let`s make her feel welcome and enjoy her stay in Seattle then, OK? If Phil is working too much and it`s bothering your Mom then it`s out of our control, Sweetheart," he said warmly.

"I said no more worrying so you`re right, I won`t let it get to me unless I hear that there is something to worry about. Life has its way of working things out better than any scriptwriter could do and you and I are the living proof of that."

"Amen," Edward finished.

The ringing of the telephone ended the subject.

"Hallo?" I said into the receiver.

"Bella, hi!" It was Rose`s voice; very excited Rose I might add.

"Rose, what`s up? You sound very happy," I said to her and winked at Edward.

"I`m ecstatic, Bella. I`m calling about the girls` party –"

"You and Emmett are coming, aren`t you?"

"Yes, yes, we are," she laughed, "I just wanted to ask you if we could bring two more guests along with us?" Boy, she talked fast!

"Two guests?" I frowned confused.

"Lily and Henry, Bella. The adoption agent let us take them out for the day. There will be a supervisor around to keep an eye on things but we can have fun."

"Oh my god, Rose, that`s… wow! I`m lost for words! I can`t wait to meet your children!"

"Thank you. I`m so happy and nervous at once," she breathed out, "OK, I have a meeting with a client in five minutes, better get prepared. I`ll talk to you later, OK?"

"Of course!"

I sat back in my chair and looked at Edward`s questioning face.

"I sense it has something to do with my new niece and nephew?" He raised his brow.

I nodded feverishly, "Yep. Lily and Henry are coming to our girls` party!"

"Great! Gee, they aren`t wasting time, are they?"

"When I saw Rose last weekend she told me that this agent is fabulous and she really cares and supports the prospective parents."

"So I`ve heard, yeah, Emmett was telling me that. He and Rose are new to the system but were almost immediately put in Lily and Henry`s pathway, that`s luck."

"Life`s good," I stated, "Tell me, how is Stefan doing? And how`s the _sightseeing _with Renata going?"

Edward chuckled, "I sure don`t know what you mean by _sightseeing_ but I suspect they`re seeing a lot of each other, if you know what I mean."

We started laughing and my cheeks turned beet red. Stefan went to his home country to see his ill father, only to find out that his dad`s cardiologist was his high school sweetheart, Renata. Renata and Stefan dated for some time as teens but she fell head over heels for someone else and Stefan was left heartbroken. Now, many years later Renata was a cardiologist in one of the hospitals in Bucharest, still single, that other high school crush long forgotten. She and Stefan recognized one another and went for coffee to remember good old times. They ended up spending all their spare time together during Stefan`s stay with his parents and now Renata has come to visit Stefan in Seattle. According to Edward they were seriously loved up.

"Stefan is a lost case," Edward said to me from across the table.

"I think it`s sweet that they have found each other again."

"I know. You`ll like Renata, she`s lovely and Stefan is nuts about her just like I am crazy about you," he finished.

My teeth clenched around my lower lip and a sparkle ignited in the pit of my stomach.

Edward`s phone beeped as he leaned over the table to peck me. Our lips barely touched and he linked his forehead with mine.

"I adore you, Bella," he whispered somewhat heavily, "And I miss you, baby."

The sparkle in my stomach burst into a thousand more.

"You know what I mean, Bella. I miss your touch, your skin, your warmth…"

_Oh dear Lord…_

"Me too, Edward. You have no idea…"

His eyes were closed but the little smile that appeared on his face almost turned me to pieces. He looked so peaceful and happy.

"I have to go," he uttered after a few seconds of this bliss.

"No! Where?" I frowned in my haze.

"Back to the hospital," he laughed and pointed at his cell, "That was a signal that my break is nearly over."

"Oh, yes, of course, sorry," I shook my head embarrassed.

"But I can come back tonight," he offered.

"Sure, the birthday girls will be waiting for you to read them their new stories and tuck them in bed."

"What about their Mommy?"

"You wanna read me a story too? No problem, I`ll choose something short -"

"Bella –"

"Shhh…" I raised a finger, "You didn`t let me finish. I`ll choose a short story so maybe you could tuck _me_ in bed, too? Would you like to do that?"

He took my finger in his hand and kissed it, looking deeply into my eyes, "I would like that very much."

"On one condition."

"Condition?"

"Aha. You tuck yourself in bed with me."

"Tonight," he whispered.

"Tonight," I echoed.

He pulled me close and as his arms enveloped my back, his mouth enclosed my lips. He kissed me with all he had, madly, crazily, deeply. I was pressing myself to him as hard as possible and still, I couldn`t get close enough.

_To hell with work, I need him so much, now!_

"I have to go, Honey, I`m so sorry," he breathed against my fired up face.

"I love you, Edward. I`ve always loved you. Even when we were physically apart, I loved you, when I was pregnant and when the girls were babies, I prayed for you every night to find us or for God to let me find you. And when I went to Phoenix two weeks ago I loved you then too, even more."

"I know," he kissed the top of my head, "I know. I loved you, too. Whenever I felt down suddenly I heard a song or someone said something that gave me hope that you were out there and getting closer to me."

After I tore myself off of him at last, I took one of the little colorful boxes that I use to put fruit and treats in the girls` lunch bags and popped a few cookies in. Edward watched me for a second without saying a word, and a perplexed look spread on his face when I placed the pink container in his hand.

"A little treat to have with your hospital coffee later on."

He smiled sweetly, "Oh, right! Thank you!" And then he examined the box.

"I`m sorry, I have _white_ boxes somewhere, but –"

"I love it!" He called out, "I love pink. I`m gonna put it beside my cup of coffee on the table for everyone to see."

…..

_Tonight_, I thought to myself. We were going to have some adult fun. _However will I last without a spontaneous combustion; I`m burning already!_

I went about the day trying very hard to ignore the pulsing need between my legs. He`d woken up my body again and it was now on high alert. My mind bombarded me with memories of our previous lovemaking sessions and it took conscious effort to stay focused on things other than the joy of becoming one with Edward. My body had a mind of its own and it was anticipating things so good that it was torturous not to follow its naughty whispers right there on the spot.

I managed to finish some editing and then went to collect the children from school. We went to the park and spent some time on the swings. We also fed the little ducklings and their mommas in the pond before returning home and playing with the new toys.

And then the phone calls started pouring in. Not one of them was for me though. Suddenly my daughters were receiving birthday wishes left and right. I wasn't surprised to hear from my Mom and Dad and Jacob and I thought it was lovely that Rose called again, just to talk to the girls for a minute, but when Emmett sang "Happy Birthday" over the phone to them, followed by Alice and Jasper and Hugo telling Sophie and Rachel how much they were looking forward to Saturday, I couldn`t stop smiling with pride. Maggie stopped by with some candy and a promise that she`d be at the party painting all the children`s faces. Kate came in after her exam at the university and shared huge hugs and kisses with her favorite cheeky monkeys. Time was flying and it astonished me how gracefully and happily my three-year-olds chatted with everybody who remembered their special day.

"Hallo?" I answered another call.

"Hello Bella, it`s Carlisle speaking. I believe my granddaughters are turning three today? Are they around to talk to Grandpa for a minute, please?"

My heart thumped, "Of course they are and they`ll be delighted to talk to Grandpa Carlisle! I love the word by the way, Carlisle," I confessed a bit quieter into the receiver.

"There are no words to describe how proud I am, Bella."

It was an interesting thing with the `new` names for some of the Cullens in the girls` minds for the time being. They had adopted Alice and Jasper, and Rose and Emmett as their Aunts and Uncles before we even knew that they were related, but _Nana_ Esme, _Grandpa_ Carlisleand most of all, _Daddy_ Edward were taking time to sink in. I explained it all to them a few times but while _Auntie Alice_ came out of their mouths as easily as if it were one word, calling Esme, Carlisle and Edward their new names was taking time. Jack Newton suggested that it was probably because there was much emotional charge in these words; one can have as many Aunts and Uncles as they choose but grandparents and Daddy are super special and Rachel and Sophie were making up their minds about it all.

Another knock on the door made me wonder who else could be coming to see us.

"Esme! Hello, please come in!" Wow, that`s what I call a surprise.

"Darling, may I, for a minute?" She smiled brightly.

"Of course you may! Carlisle was just on the phone."

"He`s giving a lecture this evening. I couldn`t find my place at home today, I _had_ to come see my grandbabies."

She hugged me like there was no tomorrow and smiled radiantly telling me how grateful and happy she was about our life twists. I thought Edward definitely inherited his smile from his Mom.

Sophie and Rachel grinned at the sight of another person whom they could feed and treat using their new toy dishes and doctor gadgets. Esme and I were served plastic food and took sips of imaginary tea between having our hearts listened to and our temperature taken by doctor Rachel and chef Sophie. After a while the children got tired and I let them watch "The Lion King". Esme and I sneaked into the kitchen and had a cup of real coffee and a piece of the girls` cake.

I was fidgety at first, thinking that some serious conversation was coming up, but Esme just told me what a great job I had been doing with the children on my own. One word led to another and I told her how it all began; the joke with Angela about what I would do if I`d had won a lottery, the inheritance money, the decision to raise a baby by myself, the pregnancy and the birth… Her eyes stayed on me the whole time, her mind absorbing my every word.

"Darling, thank you for being so honest and telling me your story," Esme gently rubbed the back of my hand.

"We`re connected through Edward and the girls, so it`s a part of your story, too."

"My story…" she sighed and drifted off, "It really has a beautiful ending."

"Yes, a beautiful beginning and a beautiful ending," I smiled.

"Many years ago things didn`t look that well, but I was determined to believe that one day I would say `Who would have thought` and it`s all happening now."

A question must have been drawn on my face.

Esme smiled softly, "You think Carlisle and I met, fell in love and the rest is history?"

"And it isn`t?" I looked at her even more puzzled. Edward had joked once that his Mom was raised on Disney and for some reason I had formed a picture of Esme as a fairytale princess in my head.

"When I was twenty three I got engaged. That man wasn't the love of my life, but back in my times being single at my age was uncomfortable for the family. All my friends were already married and had babies. I heard our neighbors gossiping. My parents always protected and loved me, but the pressure was hard on all of us. I met someone and I thought I would have my own family with this man. He was twenty seven and seemed lost just like me. We suited each other and set the date. Then one day I visited a friend Mary who had just had a new baby. There I met her cousin was staying with her and her husband for a few days. He was a twenty-year-old medical student, with the most beautiful blue eyes and the warmest voice. I only spent a couple of hours in Mary`s house but it took all the strength to control my bodily reactions when her cousin Carlisle sat near me on the couch. I walked home crying. I barely knew that young man, he was three yearsyounger than me and studying to be a doctor and I was engaged to be married and worked in a library. I couldn`t get out of my mind how just a little moment near him made me feel alive; I had never felt that way before in my life. For a while I was terrified, I didn't know how I was going to go through with my wedding, but I was a good, dutiful girl and wouldn't back out. Firstly, I wouldn't do it to my family; secondly, I couldn't let some chance meeting turn my life upside down. I was going to be a wife and a mother to my husband`s children. Carlisle had awoken something in me though. I had never felt such connection and passion towards anyone, but stubbornly I thought that once I married, the feelings would come as well. But they didn't…" 

"You married that other man?"

"Yes, I did," Esme said.

"I didn't know," I whispered astonished.

"I got married and hoped for a baby. I often dreamed of a little boy like Mary`s one. I thought her son was the loveliest baby I had ever seen. But every time I thought of that baby, I would also remember his uncle Carlisle… They both had those sky blue eyes…"

I was glad that my children were too engrossed in the movie they were watching to come to the kitchen and see me emotional. My mind was invaded by questions; what happened, did Esme have a baby with her husband? Emmett is her oldest son, is it possible that he isn't Carlisle`s child? _No, that`s ridiculous_. I was impatient to hear more.

"I wasn`t falling pregnant and month after month my husband grew disappointed and I retreated into myself. The feelings for him weren't coming and my only hope, a baby, was nowhere closerto me either. Our families, especially his mother and sisters scrutinized me all the time and kept asking when I would finally produce a child. One of his sisters said to me that if I weren't giving her brother any children then she wouldn't be surprised if he left me. He felt embarrassed that after a year and a half of marriage I wasn't pregnant and the distance between us grew continuously. I knew he was never crazy about me either and ours was a marriage of convenience, but he wanted to keep up appearances. So when I found myself pregnant at last, I thought that it would make us all happy. Accidentally I met one of my husband`s friends one day and he slipped that it was great I was expecting because he`d been looking for happiness elsewhere. I didn't understand what he meant at first, but soon I discovered that my husband had been seeing a married woman for nearly three years. She had married wealthy and wasn't going to divorce her husband, but kept mine on the side, all the while my husband decided to marry me and pretend like he had a happy family and continue the affair at the same time. I didn't know what to do. I wanted out, but how would I manage with a baby, on my own? I worked in a library and didn't have much money. I cried constantly, stopped eating and turned into a ghost. I wanted my baby, but hated his father. The only thing keeping me going were thoughts of my little boy`s blue eyes, like mine and Carlisle`s. It was stupid, but I was still thinking about the man who seemed to have touched my soul almost two years earlier. I could barely remember his face and it made me feel hopeless. My pregnancy was… short. I had a miscarriage. I was in hospital for a couple of days. The man I was married to told me that I had disappointed him and failed at one job that most women had no problem doing. I was devastated, my dreams we shattered, my marriage was a farse and my baby was gone. One morning in the hospital doctors were doing the rounds accompanied by medical students…" Esme`s face lit up and she touched her wedding band, "Carlisle was one of them."

_Oh God, thank you, thank you, thank you!_

"He recognized me and later he came to my room just for a little chat to pass the time. As stupidly as it sounds I just scanned his hands for a wedding ring. There was none. He said he was awfully sorry about my baby and reassured me that medically there were no reasons why I couldn`t have children in the future. I felt so sad, unwanted and unworthy that I told him about my cheating husband, fears about the coming days and the horrible feeling of being empty, without this beautiful new life inside me…"

I suddenly remembered that Edward had mentioned his Mom`s miscarriage after Rose had suffered hers last Christmas. No wonder she`s so loving and protective of her family and so close to Rose. They both have little angels watching over them from Heaven.

"That night my mom came to see me at the hospital. She had found out about my husband`s affair and told me that if I weren't going to divorce that man, she would disown me. She thought I was just having a bad time adjusting to the married life and didn`t realize what an excuse for a man my husband had been. We opened up to each other like never before. Carlisle saw me every day and we stayed in contact after I left the hospital. I got a divorce, rented a small apartment and my parents insisted I enroll into college; they were going to help me out financially. And I had Carlisle… I didn'tknow how I had lived without him. My Mom and Dad fell in love with him as quickly as I did. He shattered all the walls around me. Barely a year later we were married and soon I was pregnant. I couldn't believe it took us only a few months and we were expecting a baby. When Emmett was a couple of weeks old, we invited my friend Mary. I have to be honest and say, I looked at her boy and although he was sweet, he wasn't anywhere near as cute as my own baby boy," she smiled broadly and I nodded, "Emmett with my Dad`s dimples and Carlisle`s eyes was a winner hands down. Two years later we had Edward, three years later Alice joined us and here we are now, enjoying our grandchildren."

_She fought the bad mother-in-law, the evil sisters and some stupid, cocky asshole posing for a prince, phhlease! I was right, Esme is a princess._

…..

The twins and I were starting dinner when Edward opened the front door. I grinned to myself.

"Daddy! Edward!" The little ones buzzed around him.

"Girls, give Daddy a moment to settle," I laughed.

I continuously referred to Edward as `Daddy` and two, maybe three times out of ten the kids used the word themselves. Each time they did, Edward beamed and I thought that my Swans were becoming Cullens.

We had some vanilla ice cream and pink milk and at bedtime we all went to the girls` bedroom to read the new books.

"Mommy, you read this one and Edward read the froggy one," Rachel announced and then she added, "Please," with a dazzle in her eyes. Oh yeah, she`s definitely _his_ daughter.

"OK, who`s going first, Mommy or Daddy?" I asked.

"Mommy first," Sophie decided.

I was putting the books away on the shelf when Edward excused himself for a moment. I was about to kiss the girls goodnight when I heard the wooden stairs creak under Edward`s feet. He had unplugged the radio in the kitchen and brought it into the room. Rachel and Sophie`s new books came with CDs but we had read them ourselves and I wondered what was on his mind.

"I have one more thing for the birthday girls," he said sheepishly and produced two square packages wrapped in colorful paper, one for each child.

I looked at shape and size of the boxes, then scanned the CD player and my breath hitched.

_He didn`t!_

_Oh my dear Lord, he did._

He kneeled beside Sophie`s bed where both girls sat, "Do you know what they are, girls?" He asked when the paper was torn to bits and each of his babies held a CD with a dedication printed on the paper case `To my Angel Sophie – on Your third birthday, with all my love, Daddy." Rachel got the same thing with her name on it.

"This is music," Rachel said.

"Yes, but these two songs are very special because nobody else in the world has ever heard them before. They`re just for you, Sophie and Rachel," he explained somewhat nervously.

"Oh," Sophie let out, "Did you hear them?"

"I did. I`m the only person who has heard them because I wrote them for you. They`re called `Sophie`s lullaby` and `Rachel`s lullaby`."

"Oh," Sophie repeated, "How did you write them?"

"Well, you remember those special signs that I read when I play the piano or the guitar, don`t you? They`re called musical notes and you write music with them."

I found my voice at last, "You know that the man called Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart composed `Twinkle, twinkle, little star`. He wrote music, just like the people who wrote your new stories about the caterpillar and the tadpole write books. Your Daddy is like Mozart, he writes music and these lullabies are like books and they`re just for you."

"Why?" Came from Rachel.

"Because you are very special and Daddy loves you very much," Daddy himself added with glassy eyes.

"Will we say thank you?" I prompted the children.

"Thank you, Edward!" They both squeezed him.

"Can I hear it?" Rachel waved her CD.

"Of course," Edward said and plugged in the player, "We`ll listen to both of them if you like."

We all agreed. The main lights gave way to small night lamps and Edward and I took positions beside the children`s beds.

The soft emotions poured out of the musical pieces. They were calm and soothing and each note spoke of unconditional and everlasting love. I used to think that I was alone in the world with my children and now they have music composed especially for them!

…..

"Is that why you insisted on going to your apartment sometimes?" I inquired when we left our children fast asleep and came to the sitting room.

"Yes, I wanted to write," he admitted. "I told you not to worry and that I was just working on something, remember?"

"I remember you saying it but I thought maybe we were too noisy and you couldn`t read your medical magazines or just wanted to spend some time in peace and quiet, on your own."

In no time he had my face cradled in both of his hands, "Bella Swan, whenever will you understand that I don`t ever want to run from you or our daughters. You three are my life. As far as I know I`m as noisy and excited playing games and laughing as you girls are and as the magazines go, I read them all the time when I`m here, there`s no problem with that. If I tell you I`m working on a surprise than that`s exactly what I mean, Bella. I couldn`t have worked on the surprise lullabies with the children around me now, could I? And I kind of counted on you being surprised too."

"It worked," I admitted begging him with my eyes to kiss me already.

"I saw that."

"Now all three of us girls have our own lullabies written by you. Thank you."

"Oh shoot, I totally forgot!" He kissed me quickly on the nose and I let go of my face.

"I`ll be in the bedroom!" I called after him and went back upstairs.

I heard his car door closing and soon he stood in the door with another package, the same size and shape as the girls`.

"We`ve been celebrating the children`s birthday but you were the one who carried them and gave birth to them so this is your day as well," he handed me the gift, "I`ve put your lullaby on a CD too, so you can listen to it whenever you like. When I`m here I can hum it to you, but when I`m working a nightshift –"

I slammed myself into him, "Thank you! And while we`re at it, I have something for you, too. Mom and Dad are equally important so..."

He shook his head at my antics.

I took what I had for him from my bedside drawer and placed it in the palm of his hand.

He threw me a perplexed glance, "Bella, what is it? It looks like a -"

"CD, I know. Believe it or not, I have something for you to listen to as well!"

He unwrapped the box and read the heading.

"It`s from my doctor from when I was pregnant. He recorded the children`s heartbeats. It`s one minute twenty six seconds of bliss, I can tell you. I thought you would like it."

"To listen to my babies` hearts? This is unreal, Bella, I swear I could not love you more."

"That's good because I wanna be loved, right now, " I said boldly.

He placed the box on the side table and pushed me gently onto the bed.

I was already flying high.

We knew each other and discovered anew simultaneously, this time with the knowledge that we were parents to two sweet little girls. I could feel the change in Edward when he had my bare stomach inches from his face, along with the C-section scar that had brought our children into the world. He placed long, gentle kisses on each millimeter of it as if sealing it. He claimed it as a part of himself and my heart was breaking through my chest.

I begged him for more; one more touch, one more stroke, one more sigh, one more kiss…

"May I ask for something, Bella?" 

"Anything," I breathed out.

"When I… um… entered… you the first time you said `welcome home`..."

I moaned at the mere idea of Edward `entering me".

"Yes?"

"Does it feel like home? Now? Because you are my home, Bella and I`ve missed you so much."

A few tears escaped my eyes and I cupped Edward`s face into my both hands. "Baby, you were never gone. You never left. I felt so lost without you."

"Bella, I never knew anyone who was lost but didn`t wanna be found."

"Then find me, please…"

He smiled and brushed his lips against mine and started kissing the wetness away from my face with the lightest pecks, losing himself in his own bubble.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

_Oh, how I love those murmurs!_

"Are you going to be painfully slow?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"I want to celebrate, explore and worship you for the rest of my days, starting right now."

"Wonderful." 

"And then forever." 

"That`s all I`m asking."

And he did. He worshipped me for hours and hours and I touched, kissed and tasted as much of him as he gave me a chance to. Our daughters slept in blissful oblivion in their bedroom and Mommy and Daddy were together the exact way mommies and daddies should be. I whispered Edward`s name as if looking for him in a quiet house at night. I was back home, too.

…..

It had been several weeks since we`d made love and after last night I felt like I was walking on clouds. The physical reunion was a reassurance that I wasn't only respected and loved for the fact that I was Edward`s children`s mother but I was also his woman, his friend and lover; I liked to think of myself as his mate; it sounded so primal and yummy.

On Friday my Dad arrived with the Blacks and I had a chance to see Leah with the small baby bump and my friend and her husband walking around like he was seven feet tall! I caught Edward glancing at Leah`s stomach every now and then as he came back from the airport with my Mom. We had dinner together and I was trying not to burst out and start asking my Mom what was going on in front of everyone else. Something wasn`t right and I was going to get to the bottom of it. You would say that she smiled and joked as usual but I knew better. And funnily enough, Edward pointed out to me quietly that my father had the same look on his face as I did, trying to figure my mother out.

"How are you, Dad?" I smiled at Charlie as he came into the kitchen when I was getting another dish ready to go.

"I`m OK. Each time I look at my grandbabies I see more of their father in them, is that even possible?"

"Oh, Dad, thank you so much!" I flew into his arms for a hug, "Tell me what went through your mind when I called to tell you our revelations?"

"I thought `Hallelujah!`," he laughed.

"Really?"

"True story," he declared, "Who wouldn`t be happy at this turn of events."

_OK, my mother is acting strange, but my father must be on some happy pills or something!_

"Indeed, you look very content."

"All the girls I love are here, you know I don`t need much more, Bells."

"Just a sports channel and you`re good."

"You know me well," he chuckled, "Is there a particular reason why your Mom came alone?"

_I should have known this was coming._

"Phil`s busy."

"Oh, right," Charlie nodded and took a platter of cheese from me to carry to the table.

…..

Edward`s parents insisted on hosting our guests in their house. My Dad didn`t want to intrude but Carlisle lured him with the prospect of sports on flat screen and beer cooling in the fridge, so I could tick my Dad off the list. The Blacks were happy to stay with the Cullens and Esme loved the idea of doting on Quil and Embry and Leah`s pregnant tummy. I asked my Mom to stay with us to help me with the party preparations and she didn`t oppose for a second, so when everyone else left and Edward was putting the girls to bed, Renèe and I were cleaning up the kitchen and I had a chance to talk to her.

"Mom, I`m gonna cut to the chase here. Is everything alright at home? Is there anything we could help with?"

"No, baby, you`re doing enough. I`m enjoying my time with you, I`m really happy I came."

"So, what is Phil working on that`s making you feel neglected?"

I must have stroked the sensitive string because my mother`s face went rigid.

"Ladies," Edward popped his head into the kitchen and dangled the keys in his hand, "I`m gonna go out for a while so you can catch up."

"No, Edward, please, don`t leave because of me," Renèe protested, "I would actually prefer if you stayed… if it`s OK with you."

"Of course I`ll stay," he said and stood beside me against the counter. I felt like I was going to faint if somebody didn`t tell me what was going on and soon!

"Mom, please, you aren`t sick, are you? Or Phil? Is he alright?" I begged.

"Oh no, Phil`s not sick, don`t worry about him. On the contrary, he`s just began a brand new life," she said with a wince.

_A new life?_

"Edward, you remember my friend Anne who buried her husband a few months back?"

"He had cancer, I remember," Edward answered.

"Well, I`ve told you both numerous times that Phil and I were helping her out when her husband was no longer mobile and after his death. She stayed with us or we went to see how she was doing, I cooked for her, I called her a couple of times a day, I took her out to the movies, to yoga classes, for walks."

"Yes," I could hear Edward`s voice but my inner one was whispering its own suspicions to me…

"I would ask Phil to bring Anne the meals when I was busy and he would do it on the way to the team practice," my Mom continued.

"That`s right," Edward agreed again and rubbed my fainting hand in his.

"A broken microwave cable, furniture moving, even choosing a new tv set; she played the poor widow card and asked Phil to assist her. I saw no problem and listened to Phil telling me that Anne seemed happier when he came home after seeing her."

_Is it me or are all female brains seeing that flashing `affair` sign in front of them right now? Please tell me this is not it…_

"Phil started spending more and more time away from home. I never really followed the practice schedules so when he told me that his team had a few big games coming up, I believed him. I couldn`t put my finger on it but at some point I started feeling uneasy, something was bothering me, like I was out of balance. I thought that I was tired and maybe needed a vacation, I even went to the doctor for a check-up, but he found nothing wrong."

_Because there was nothing wrong with _you_, Mom,_ my mind screamed.

"Two days after you came back to Seattle Phil called and said that he had to stay at work longer so I packed the freshly cooked lasagna and went to pay Anne a surprise visit. As I pulled into her driveway I noticed Phil`s car parked right beside Anne`s. Stupid me, I got worried that there had been an emergency and thank goodness Phil was there, can you imagine that! I knocked on the door and a minute later I saw Anne," Mom sighed deeply. Even Edward knew at this stage what we were going to hear.

My Mom stared into space and went on, "She was barefoot, wrapped in a silk robe, her hair in a mess… you get the idea," she glanced at us.

I thanked God that Edward had stayed and was holding my hand.

"In the same moment I heard my husband skipping down the stairs and calling to her to get her sweet ass back up there… Anyway, you`re my children and you don`t need to hear the exact words. He saw me in the doorway and simply held the towel around his lower body firmly in place, like I were a stranger. I gave him two days to move himself out of my house. The following day I made an appointment with a divorce attorney and I had the documents delivered to Phil yesterday morning. I`m gonna stay in Seattle for a week or two for a change of scenery."

The weakness in my limbs gave way to confusion.

"Renèe, I cannot tell you how sorry I am," Edward was first to speak.

My Mom smiled and thanked him.

"I`m just… I… I just… I don`t know what to say," I stuttered.

"I know," Mom answered, "It sounds shocking."

"I`m so, so sorry," I kept saying as I held my Mom tightly, "I`m lost for words."

"I know, Honey and thank you. I`ve had several days to think it through, I`ll be OK, you`ll see."

…..

I felt awful; for having been so focused on my own issues, for not having noticed anything earlier, for not having seen through Phil and warning Mom…

"Bella, it`s nobody`s fault but Phil and Anne`s, they are the ones who made a bad decision and your Mom couldn`t have changed their minds even if she knew all along and tried. And it certainly has nothing to do with you; you weren't even there when the affair began," Edward tried his best to calm me down when we were in bed.

"I know, but I would like someone to blame."

"Well, look who`s been having a romance behind his wife`s back and with one of her friends nevertheless…"

"You know, Phil brought me to the doctor when I was far along in the pregnancy and couldn`t move behind the wheel on my own. He welcomed me to his and Renee`s house when our babies were tiny, gosh, he even did midnight feedings, Edward! For the first few months of Sophie and Rachel`s life Phil was the only male around them, I mean he was their Grandpa! I just don`t understand what happened now…"

"Midlife crisis, maybe?"

"Well, it crossed my mind but… He`s nine years younger than my Mom, ten years older than me, so he`s forty two, turning forty three this year. Don`t men who go through midlife crisis turn to much younger, sexier women? Anne is three years younger than my Mom so she`s still six years older than Phil! And it`s not like she`s some bombshell either. She isn`t ugly or anything, but not exactly a male ego booster if that`s what he`s looking for. To be honest Renee looks much better than Anne."

"Sometimes it`s just an impulse. Maybe he wasn`t necessarily looking for anyone new, it was simply the availability and the novelty. He got sucked in."

"It must have been that, because I refuse to believe that he never loved my Mom and –"

"No, Bella, don`t say that. We don`t know what`s going on in his mind. Keep the good memories and forget the rest, otherwise you`ll drive yourself crazy trying to understand everything and lose what`s important here, and that`s your Mom."

"She needs to get back on her feet," I declared.

"I agree. If you`d like to take her out for a day or two, I`ll stay with the girls and my parents will be more than happy to help…"

"Thank you. I`ll observe what she needs and try to follow her. I`m just sorry that you and I just got back together in a sense and I might be occupied..."

"Sweetheart, I`m not going anywhere. We`re a family and that`s what family does, we help each other out."

"It`s so good to know that, Edward."

"This is the way I was brought up."

"I can see that; you`re always there for each other. And from the moment you and I met, your family has enveloped and included me in their net."

"I disagree with one part of it. It isn`t _my_ family, it`s _our _family, by blood and by choice, Bella. I consider your parents my family too and if my memory serves me right, your Mom called me her son earlier on."

"I loved it."

"Yeah, bring it on!" Edward laughed and kissed me.

I remembered my Mom getting married to Phil. I was a teenager and every time I saw them kiss I rolled my eyes and thought it was gross. Phil would pick me up from school on rainy days and he would drive me to my extra curriculum classes. We would cook, laugh and listen to music together. He was more patient than Mom and explained things better when I was in the woods with my homework. He seemed genuinely gutted when I was packing to live in Forks with my Dad. I thought he was cool and great and he made my Mom happy. I remembered him holding my few-days-old infants in his muscular arms with a broad smile. I remembered him pecking Mom on the cheek in the morning before rushing out the door to work… Holding Sophie`s hands when she was learning to walk… Making funny faces to make Rachel giggle uncontrollably…

Now he was making someone else smile. When I was in Phoenix, Mom told me that she`d seen Anne walking down the street in new clothes, new hairdo, like someone had breathed new life into her. Now I knew who it was.

I felt sick to my stomach. I was sad, angry and overwhelmed. Edward kept whispering to me, reminding me to stop worrying. He was right; I would keep the sweet memories of my babies in Phil`s arms, but the girls have their Daddy and his arms are pretty amazing. And Uncle Emmett`s arms are even stronger! I shared with Edward that to my mind Phil decided to have a cake and eat it, having a relationship with Anne while staying with my Mom and using her inheritance money. Edward replied that in that case not only did Phil lose a beautiful woman, but also the family, the money and the clean conscience. If Phil closed that chapter of his life then I`d be better off closing it too. Again, Edward was right; I had many more lovely chapters to look forward to.

…..

The girls` party was a blast! The Cullens, the Whitlocks, the Blacks, my Mom and Dad, Kate, Riley with his family and my Irish neighbors arrived all smiley and ready for some fun. The weather was gorgeous and we took out the chairs and tables out to the backyard. The children ran around kicking balls, catching soap bubbles and bouncing on space hoppers. My heart melted when Rose and Emmett got out of the car with a very handsome young boy and the sweetest little girl. I swear these children look like their future parents! At first Henry and Lily were a little shy, seeing so many adults, but we had all agreed beforehand to give them time and space and let them enjoy the day the way they felt like. Thankfully they are used to many children around and when they saw Maggie painting a tiger on Embry`s face, they both pulled Rose and Emmett closer to see it better. I could see that Lily was braver and she wanted to try but she kept looking at her brother who seemed more apprehensive. Then I saw Emmett in his adorable goofiness, sitting on a chair in front of Maggie who brushed his cheek with some red paint. Lily giggled and Henry`s face brightened. A few minutes later when Jacob laughed at Emmett`s rainbow cheek, Emmett exclaimed "I dare you!" Jake winked at Henry and Lily and sat on the chair for Maggie! The children laughed so hard that Lily sat down to have a butterfly painted without hesitating anymore. Henry and Emmett joined Hugo and Jasper and the Black boys for a bit of football while Alice and Maria gave their babies away to Esme and my Mom and joined Rose and the little girls in dancing to "Walking on Sunshine" and "Dancing Queen". I noticed Jasper`s eyes following his wife with hunger and it dawned on me that it had been long enough after the birth of Charlotte for the two of them to be `together` together again… I pointed to Edward the way his sister slipped a hand in her husband`s back pocket and squeezed his bum and I swear Edward grimaced and blushed. "All is well in the Whitlock household" was what he was able to utter before having to change the subject.

Oh! And we celebrated one more thing, actually two, as in _two_ engagements! First Riley asked Maria to show off her ring and we all went "Woohoo!" to poor Maria`s embarrassment. As we toasted to them, Kate`s boyfriend Garrett lifted his fianceè`s hand up as well! Garrett had popped the question the night before so Kate didn`t have time to tell anyone yet. Jasper laughed that we were like the radio, if we knew then everybody knew. I had to pinch myself to believe that it wasn`t a scene taken out of some TV show, but my own life, my own friends and family in my own backyard.

I went to the kitchen for a moment to catch a breath and put the kettle on. Esme had baked a scrumptiously looking cake for Rachel and Sophie and I told her that she should have the honor to cut it.

"Hey, beautiful," I heard my favorite voice behind me, "How are you doing?"

"Never better," I said as Edward hugged me.

"What an incredible day, huh?"

"One to remember. Can you believe all the babies and engagements? Just… wow!" I laughed.

"Your Mom looks happy, too."

"She absolutely does, doesn`t she? I think she`s stronger than I give her credit for and telling us what happened lifted the load off her shoulders. She`s gonna be fine."

"She`s gonna be _great_, Honey, mark my words. One door closes, another one opens, _always_."

I smiled at him and he leaned down for a kiss. I thought it was going to be a chaste peck, but Edward either got caught in the moment or had other plans altogether in the first place. He kissed me lightly at first, then pulled away, looked at me again and decided to go for it. He crushed lips to mine. Angels sang in my ears and I whimpered not so quietly.

_Bella, shhh, you have tons of guests around…Oh, shush, it`s just one kiss._

"Mmmm…"

"Mmmm…"

"Nice…" I managed to whisper.

"Uhm," he continued with long brushes along my jaw.

I let out a sigh and murmured, "Edward, there`s a party going on…"

"And…?"

"We can get caught any moment…" I hoped he could understand my mumbling. He was making my brain go fuzzy. When I felt his fingers snaking through my hair behind my left ear and his lips traveling down my neck I could feel my head throwing back, giving him more access. I was too weak to break the contact with the hot, wet lips on my skin.

"And that`s a bad thing, because…?"

"Because you know what you do to me and I`m getting dizzy now." 

He chuckled again and his breath tickled my neck. I laughed too.

"WELL, WELL, look who we have here!" _Emmett._

Edward let go of me as his brother came into the room humming and smiling to himself. He walked over to the fridge and took out a can of coke. My blushing was obvious.

"Seriously, guys, don`t mind me, I`m just a total stranger…" He couldn't keep his laughter inside anymore. 

Edward and I just stood there like we`d been caught with a hand in a cookie jar.

_Anybody, anyone in the world, but Emmett! _

"Emmett, get out of here," Edward said with a warning in his voice but a smile on his face.

Emmett threw his arms in the air, "I`m going, I`m going! Wow, bro I didn't know you had it in you! You think I should tell Mom what you`re up to?" He had a devilish smile spread across his whole face.

"Out!" Edward mirrored his brother`s smirk.

Emmett turned to me, "Bella, you better be careful, I bet you he growls. Wrrrarrr!" He made a pouncing gesture with his hands in the air and I laughed.

I felt my arm brushing against Edward`s and caught Emmett`s eyes, "What makes you think I don't know that? Or haven't heard the growls? " I raised my eyebrow with a dash of flirt.

Emmett`s eyes popped. He didn't expect that. We heard Rose`s heels on the wooden floor leading to the kitchen.

"Ah, there you are," she waved at her husband and smiled at Edward and me. "Come on, they will be cutting the cake in a minute." She looked at me as if she`d noticed the remains of dark pink on my cheeks, and turned to Emmett`s unreadable expression.

Her husband walked towards her, mumbling something like "I`ll never get that picture out of my head now…"

_Does he mean Edward growling?_

"Bella. You. Are. Incredible." Edward enunciated.

"What do you mean?"

"You, my dear, have just embarrassed Emmett."

I let out a giggle, "What`s the prize?"

"No, seriously, very few people can do it."

"Well, the poor thing will have to live with the picture of you growling at me during our sweet sexy time," I winked at him. "Anyway, they`re cutting the cake, let`s go." I took Edward by the hand. Instead of following me, he pulled me to his chest and kissed me hard. His tongue sneaked in and out of my mouth and I gasped.

"OK, you two really should get a room," Emmett bellowed from the doorway shaking his head in disbelief.

Edward took my hand and tugged me along, "And what are _you_ doing here _again_, Emmett?" 

"_Our Mom _asked me to call the two of you to the dining room. The cake?" He said innocently.

"_The cake, the cake_," Edward mocked him with a grimace, "Do you know you have a rainbow on your face?"

All three of us burst out laughing.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33 BPOV**

**I WILL BE YOUR LOVER, TOO**

Have you ever noticed how time flies when you`re having fun? The two weeks after the girls` party went God only knows where. Edward and I were settling into our happy routine and the children referred to him as Daddy more and more often. My Mom was quite upbeat. She stayed with us for a few days, made great buddies with Esme and then she went to Forks to visit some old friends whom she hadn`t seen in over thirty years. She had such a great time that she stayed there for a full week! Later she returned to Seattle for another couple of days and then flew to Phoenix to sort out the affairs of the heart. I was taking it one moment at a time with her and tried my best not to think of the day she would be leaving our close knit group to be alone and so far away, but she told me time and time again that she was a big girl and she`d be more than fine. She confided in Edward that she was considering selling the house and starting over wherever her heart leads her. I was just hoping that her heart wouldn`t compel her to try a new beginning in a tiny village somewhere in Africa or build an igloo.

Rosalie and Emmett practically lived in the adopting agency for a while and to our collective joy, the process of making Henry and Lily a part of the Cullen family officially and legally has begun. Their new bedrooms were painted and ready, but Rose had held off putting the finishing touches to them, with the idea of letting the kids choose their own bed linen and decorations and help them identify with the rooms. She and Emmett were beyond excited and the rest of us weren`t far behind!

Lily and Henry were brought home just three days before we all attended another family affair; Charlotte`s christening. And so on a lovely late May Sunday morning Emmett and I became godparents to the sweetest little person. Alice kept telling us that the ceremony would be held at Charlotte`s usual naptime so the little one would probably sleep through the whole thing. Not a chance! Miss Whitlock held her gorgeous blue eyes wide open throughout the christening and observed each step with a lot of interest. So Alice! Jasper wasn`t surprised an iota and said that _of course_ Charlotte wouldn`t miss her own party and there`s no doubt she`s her mother`s daughter.

I leaned over the bundle in my arms and whispered to her, "Aren`t you tired, baby? You`re gonna stay awake now?"

She gave me a toothless grin and kicked her legs. She definitely knew something big was happening and she would not miss it!

"You look so beautiful," I heard a whisper behind me.

I looked up to find myself eye to eye with Edward.

"So do you, handsome," I said.

"Thank you, but there`s more to that statement. You look beautiful _and_ you look beautiful with a baby in your arms. I`m trying to imagine the day our girls were christened, but I choose to think that I simply can`t remember it because it was long ago rather than because I wasn't there."

"That`s right. We agreed, no crying over the past, remember? We`re making new memories."

"True," he agreed and smiled at Charlotte as she held onto his finger.

"And Edward? I promise you, you and I will bring our new baby to this church one day, OK?"

"I can`t wait," he whispered again and as light as a feather, he pressed his lips to my temple. I could have sworn that Charlotte gasped in my embrace, "By the way, Honey, do you like yellow gold?"

"I do", I answered before thinking, "Why?"

"Nothing, just a question," he smirked to himself.

_Yellow gold, huh? ; -)_

"Excuse me," Emmett`s voice broke our moment, "Father coming through!" He said to Edward dramatically and stood beside me.

"_God_father, Emmett," his brother corrected him with a playful smirk. I love their banters!

"Godfather, father, what`s the difference anyway? The thing is," Em pointed at Charlotte and me, "this is my child and my lady for the day."

"I can`t decide on the baby, but the lady is _mine_," Edward warned him and I had shivers racing down my spine. If not for the infant in my arms, I would have thrown myself at him and shown him that indeed, he had his claim on me forever.

"Yours?" Emmett continued with his voice on the brink of laughter, "Dear brother, you like it, you put a ring on it. Now, scoot," he whistled at his sibling and winked at me!

Edward patted his brother`s shoulder and walked back to the rest of the guests and I didn`t know where to look. Thankfully the ceremony began and all eyes focused on one person only, Charlotte Jean Whitlock whom I had passed to her proud godfather to hold.

She was a star. She watched every move around her and seemed to be listening to every word spoken over her. As the cool drops of holy water touched her forehead, she gave us the funniest grimace and a frown and looked up as if asking "Seriously?" Her Daddy dabbed the water off of her face and a minute later the little angel yawned and fell asleep at last.

We all wiped happy tears away and got the party started! I spent most of the time with Rose who shared with me the joys and the concerns of her first days of motherhood. Lily got some ice cream after dinner one night and she loved it so much that it took her less than two minutes to empty the bowl. Rose reckoned that ice cream probably wasn`t a regular dessert in the orphanage and Lily ate it so greedily and quickly that her consequent tummy ache was nothing compared to the fact that she had something yummy on the plate and it was all for her only. Knowing how my own children love ice cream I felt a squeeze in my heart that this little girl had been denied such a simple joy in life by her circumstances. But then I said to Rose that if we were talking about Emmett`s homemade French vanilla ice cream then I would have done the same thing as Lily! I would have licked my bowl like a dog! Rosalie laughed and proceeded to tell me how that same day Henry played with his new toy cars and when the night came and Emmett asked him to put them in a box till morning, the child went rigid but did what he`d been asked. Emmett got worried that maybe he`d used the wrong tone of voice and scared Henry, though he was as soft as he could be. He was unsettled and after a while he went to check on Henry. He called Rose into the room and they both watched their son, fast asleep but holding a few small cars as closely to him as other kids would hold their teddies. Again, remembering how important Mooky and Iggy are in my own family, that image broke my heart but I knew there was a blessing in it, because in his new home Henry will have an abundance of love and affection, to the point of not feeling the need to hold little cars to his heart at night. In the morning Rose explained to Henry that the toys were his forever and he could put them away for the night safely. The child did the same thing next time though, so his Mom took him and his sister to the toy store and to buy some special soft toys just for bedtime. Lily got a bunny and Henry chose a soft car. I also heard that Lily loved spending time with Rose, but whenever Emmett came home from work it was like Christmas morning; Lily simply wouldn`t let go of her Daddy. Henry on the other hand is a typical boy, into balls, cars, mechanics and such, but at bedtime there`s nothing like a cuddle from Mom.

At the end of Charlotte`s special day Emmett and I each received a beautiful framed photo of our goddaughter to bring home and I carried it proudly to Edward`s Volvo.

We were in such good spirits that we decided to go out to the backyard and play with the girls until the sun went down. As twilight set in, we dragged a picnic blanket out and lay there watching the stars. Sophie found a small spider weaving his web busily and she watched him entranced along with Edward, holding her breath. Rachel listened to crickets and tiptoed around the green looking for them. At the end of May last year I was planning what to pack first for the big move to Seattle, wondering what the future held. Look at me now, I could say; I`m as relaxed as can be, with my children healthy and thriving and the man of my life right beside me, in as much awe as I am myself.

"Penny for your thoughts, Ma`am," Edward said after the children went to sleep and he came back outside to lie next to me.

I snuggled against his chest, "I was just thinking how life can change unexpectedly and in unimaginable ways. Last year I thought that my children were all I had and although I chose to try to stretch my faith and take more from life, deep down I was terrified. Several months later I have you, I have amazing new friends, a whole new family and even my mother`s divorce doesn`t scare me as much as it would have a year ago."

"We`re stronger than we believe," Edward replied against the top of my head and my hair tickled a bit, "I heard once that fear has large eyes and that`s all there`s to it. It`s about attitude. A year ago my days were monotonous and I busied myself with extra work just to appear happy to my family; otherwise Mom would have suggested that I should go out, enjoy myself, meet someone… And then in August it was Grandma Rachel`s anniversary and her words that she said right before she passed on, that my girl was near and that I was going to be blessed, came back to me and I couldn`t get them out of my mind. For some reason I felt comforted by them. Two weeks later I met you."

"Hmm."

"I know. And you know what funny thing I noticed? I stopped cursing. I don`t know how relevant that is, but I don`t let my emotions control me and things that used to make me impatient don`t matter that much anymore. We can talk dirty in the bedroom when we feel like it, but other than that, I`m as cool and yummy as a can of Pepsi in the fridge," he ended with a joke.

"Oh, you are yummy, sir, no doubt about that!" I laughed, "I`m the same, actually. Yesterday I went to the office and said my smiley `hello` to everyone, when the secretary told me that the person responsible for an important contract wasn`t in and the papers weren`t ready. I said `Oh, OK` and she added, `Yeah, I know, sorry to burst your bubble`. I looked at her and said `Why would this burst my bubble? I`m as happy as I was ten seconds ago.` When it was time to go home she told me that she`d been thinking about my words all day and she was gonna protect her own bubble from now on."

"Aw, that`s good, you inspired her!"

"I guess I did, though I didn`t even plan on doing it. It felt good. You know, after Jack`s heart attack I went to a counsellor for some time and I learned that I needed to believe in myself with my heart rather than my head only. My head is heavily influenced by my internal critic, which switches on each time I want to do something out of the ordinary, have fun or ask life for more. It feeds me with guilt and the fear of being punished. I thought it was bizarre because I grew up with a mother who is full of energy and hunger for life, but somehow I adapted the feeling of unworthiness. In counselling I realized that there`s something bigger in me, in my heart; something stronger, and it wouldn`t give up on me. The harder I tried to be invisible, the harder it nagged and kicked, causing me discomfort. I had to break through the walls of my head and get to know what was in my heart. And you know what? I was scared that in my heart I would find be a tiny seed of who I really was and it would take time and effort to grow it, and that I would have to battle over every single little joy or pleasure with my internal critic. And then this astonishing this happened; there were no walls in my head and as I accepted the fact that I deserved to be happy, it turned out that in my heart was this ball of warm, bright light and my little critic didn`t even move a finger when I got to experience that light. That realization wasn`t near as tough as I feared it would be, in fact it was effortless! There was no war in me; I decided to focus on love and beauty and the world seemed to follow my feeling pretty happily. I`m sorry, I`m being cheesy now," I chewed on my lip.

"Not one bit, Bella. This is actually pretty incredible. I like how you believe in yourself; it gives your character strength. Believing with your heart makes you unstoppable and look how far you`ve come and how much you`ve achieved."

"The bit about being unstoppable was exactly what I concluded! You`re good!" I praised him.

"I did some psychology as part of medical studies."

"Of course. Well, thanks to that counselling we have Sophie and Rachel today, because it was after that experience that I began to believe that I could be a great mom even if a single one. As soon as I did that, I think life must have decided to test me and see if I would really follow through. I got the inheritance money. The internal critic woke up but I told him to sit in the corner quietly, and I listened to my heart instead. I imagined tiny baby fingers in my hands and I could hear baby gurgles in my head and I went for it."

"I`m glad you did."

"So am I. With two babies though I got so busy and tired that I fell into old habits and took one day at a time without feeding my mind right. I thought that since I had asked for one baby and got two, I exhausted the limits of my favors and asking for a beautiful man would be too much. But as the girls grew, I was getting back on my own two feet and made a monumental decision to move to a new city with my two toddlers, on my own. It was huge to me but I knew that was the only way to prove to God or life that I hadn't been given my blessings in vain. So last year I bought this house and moved here with the girls, and a few weeks later I met you."

"It looks like we were both ready at the same time."

"It does, doesn`t it? But then I wasn't sure whether I could just take you and what you brought, or was it just another test. I fought myself, scrutinized and overanalysed everything you said and did, I even pushed you away by being too `careful` but you didn`t get discouraged. You believed for both of us and I`m grateful for that. You knew we would be great together. You made me believe with my heart again. In my eyes you are wonderful, Edward, simply wonderful and you deserve a woman who is as wonderful as you."

"She`s right here in my arms."

"Thank you. The only scratch on my otherwise perfect picture are my Mom`s troubles, but as you said, it`s beyond our control."

"I was expecting doom and gloom but she really surprised me, Bella. Initially she must have felt horrible and no wonder, I mean she`s been cheated on by her husband and her close friend. But now she`s already at the point of recognizing that it`s better to know about something hurtful than living life deceived and used."

"You`re right. She`s way too good to settle for something less than what she deserves. I just hope that she doesn`t run away from herself, you know, into another relationship or something like that, just to feel better for a while."

"She`s too smart for that, Bella."

"And my Dad? You know what he said to me one day? That all the girls he loved were here."

"When was it?"

"At the girls` birthday. I asked him about that later and he said he loved having Sophie, Rachel, me and Leah in the same place and at the same time. Leah is only one year older than me. When I left for university she started going out with Jake. She went away to study as well, but when she qualified as a nurse she came back, later married Jake and never left Forks. Jake`s father Billy is my Dad`s best friend and so Charlie would see Leah around Billy`s house all the time while I lived away. In some ways she reminds him of me and he treats her like his own daughter."

"I`d say the break up between your Dad and her Mom must have been tough on Leah."

"Not really. She was shocked and sorry but as you saw them at the party, they`re still very close and my Dad still loves Leah."

"Good."

"And Sue has met someone recently."

"Has she?"

"Yes, he`s a doctor and lives in Washington D. C."

"People are moving on," he said.

"About moving on, I have something for you," I scrambled to my feet and after pecking Edward on the nose I went inside the house to retrieve a small box from a drawer in the living room."

I placed it in Edward`s hand. He stared at the jewellery box, stunned.

"Baby, breathe," I chuckled, "C`mon, open it."

"Bella, what is it?" He finally got his voice back.

"No need to be scared, it`s a ring but not an engagement ring, OK?"

He opened the box, "A keyring?"

"Yep," I popped the `p`, "Since you already have the keys to the house, I thought that adding the keyring to them would make it more official. We`re talking about moving on, but how about moving _in_? Move in with us, Edward. There are three girls in this house who don`t want to be without you anymore than it`s absolutely necessary. Unless you`re composing a symphony and need time away from us..."

Edward squeezed the house shaped item in his hand and laughed, "No, I`m not composing a symphony."

"There`s more than enough space in the house for your piano and if you need to work on something, I can take the girls out or if you want to sleep after a night shift, I`ll make sure that the children leave you alone –"

"Sweetheart, shhh," he cut me off softly, "Thank you and I accept it."

I was prepared to plead with him more but he left me speechless, "Really?"

"Really," he stated simply.

"You`re moving in?"

"Yes."

It was the only word he said before I threw myself on top of him and kissed him with so much reverence that he had to lift me off himself to catch a breath. A few moments later we were so bothered that if we didn`t move inside the house, the neighbors would hear a lot more than they would normally bargain for on a Sunday night.

We only reached the living room when Edward handed me his keys and the new keyring, "Will you?"

I smiled at him and slowly and deliberately sensually I slipped the keys onto the ring, running my fingers along each piece of metal. Now my house has become _our_ house and Edward`s eyes told me that he found my ministrations as ridiculously arousing as I intended them to be so once the items in my hand became one, he pushed me onto the carpet and we also melted into one being. Oh yeah, we definitely had our way with one another! ; -) ; -)

…..

The plan to move Edward in was put into action without any delay. It was going to take some time because we were packing his belongings while living busy everyday lives, but the journey was fun. I liked going to his apartment and seeing our girls` arts and crafts on the walls and the fridge in the kitchen, their clothes and toys in the rooms, the picture of mother swan and the cygnets that I had given him at Christmas, vanilla ice cream in the freezer and red food coloring for making pink milk. Speaking of the ice cream, a few times we got carried away… The dishes were packed and we only had ourselves so yes, we used each other to eat that dessert off… Edward said that we were certainly leaving some good vibrations in the apartment for the next tenants.

One day I didn`t go to help. I felt queasy and nauseous and stayed with the children while Kate volunteered to help Edward pack some books and CDs. The next day the feeling was coming and going all day and I ended up emptying my stomach in the office restroom a couple of times. In the evening I was OK but the next morning it started all over again. It wasn`t as bad, but I was advised to go home and take it easy until I felt one hundred percent myself again. As I was leaving the office, Victoria offered to drive me home. The rumbling in my stomach was her answer; it wouldn`t be a good idea for me to be in the car all by myself.

"So, how are things between you and James?" I asked when the tightness in my body eased for a moment.

"It`s going fantastic, Bella. He`s the guy for me, you know? Just like you and Edward."

"That`s great, I`m very happy for you, you deserve the best."

"I have a sneaky suspicion that I might hear a certain question rather soon," she smiled to herself.

"Oh, you know there are so many people getting engaged, married and having babies around me right now, it`s crazy. But it`s good crazy."

"Thank you. I caught James slipping one of my rings on his pinky the other day. I didn`t tell him I saw him but I bet my money that he was measuring it for future reference. We`ve talked about marriage and we know we both want it."

"Wonderful," I winced holding myself below my chest.

_Yellow gold._

"Bella, please don`t get me wrong but I know how close you and Edward are together… These stomach problems… they wouldn`t be caused by a little Cullen, would they?"

"No, I`m not pregnant."

_I`m not pregnant. Or am I? Nah… Though the previous time I was almost three months along before I discovered that I was expecting… I`ve been on the pill the whole time, but how sure can you be?_

I was exhausted and Kate let me sleep while she stayed with Rachel and Sophie until Edward came home. When I woke up, my stomach was as good as new but the rest of my body felt like it hadn`t rested in a week. I ate a toast and drank some water and Sophie decided she wanted to munch on a toast like Mommy instead of having her favorite homemade pizza. Such a sweetie, I thought, she sympathized with me. Later she wanted to stay in Mommy and Daddy`s bed but Edward managed to persuade her to let Mommy rest to get better. I lay in bed and in my mind I went through all the food I had eaten in the last few days. When that didn`t arise any suspicion, I did some maths and decided to buy a pregnancy test the next day. I drifted off to sleep.

"Mommy!"

_Huh?_

"Mommy!"

_? Wait, was that Sophie?_

"Daddy!" the little voice sounded feverish, "Daddy! Daddy!"

I barely lifted my head and Edward was already jumping out of bed, "I`ve got it, baby, go back to sleep," he said to me and bolted out the door.

I heard their muffled voices and footsteps to the bathroom. I thought that poor Sophie woke up from the deep faze of sleep and needed to use the toilet but was too disoriented. It was good go discover that my stomach was fine and I had to admit if I were offered a large sandwich, I wouldn`t refuse. I closed my eyes but Sophie`s crying in the middle of the night was a strange thing. I got up and went to check on my family.

Rachel was in her bed, breathing deeply, not a bother on her.

"Guys, are you alright?" I asked walking to the bathroom.

"Yes, we`re in here, come in," Edward answered.

And there he was, sitting on the brim of the tub with our daughter snuggled against his chest and sobbing quietly. I grimaced at the acidy smell permeating the room.

"I think she might have caught your stomach bug," he said sadly, "She threw up."

"Oh, my sweet baby," I said coming closer them and touching Sophie`s hand, "Is there a little bug tickling your tum-tum and making you unwell?"

She nodded and pressed herself tightly to Edward again. I got her some water and sat beside Edward until our girl fell asleep in his arms. He carried her to bed and we came back to our bedroom together.

"She called you," I said to him proudly.

"Pardon?"

"Sophie called _you_. I didn`t answer so she called _you, _she called `Daddy` more persistently than she called Mommy."

He smiled brightly, "She did indeed. She called her daddy and I was there…"

"Just like you promised them both."

"Quick, fast and in a hurry," he recalled his words.

"Aha," I smiled. His face glowed. "Now that I`m better," I added, "I`ll keep her out of school tomorrow and I`ll see how Rachel is feeling in the morning. You`re not gonna believe it but if my symptoms continued, I was going to get a pregnancy test tomorrow."

"You thought you were…?" I could see his eyes popping out of the sockets even in the darkness.

"You won`t say it didn`t cross your mind," I gave him a theatrical glance.

"Well…" he started sheepishly.

"See, gotcha! I thought that maybe there was a little `bug` in me but now we know that it was in my stomach and not lower."

Something flashed through my sweetheart`s face again as he kissed my hair and held me closely for the rest of the night.

…..

Surprise, surprise, both Sophie and Rachel looked and behaved normally in the morning. Sophie wolfed down her cereal and even asked for a specific dress for school. Who am I to say `no`? Edward brought them to school and I picked them up just a few hours later to bring them to Nana Esme`s for lunch.

"How are you feeling, my angels?" She asked concerned.

"We`re great actually, as good as ever," I said and hugged her, "How did you know we had a bug?"

"Carlisle called Edward this morning about some legal matter and Edward shared the news. Let`s go to the backyard, I have some iced tea and light lunch for your poor tummies," she sang.

"Thank you, Esme."

"My pleasure. Tell me, how do you find working part time? Your colleague is back from maternity leave, isn`t she?"

"She is. It`s so much easier now because she took the workload off of me and I can do in the office what I would have been doing at home for the past year. Now when work is finished, it`s really finished and I`m free to have a family life."

"I understand, you don`t have to wait until the children go to bed to sit down and do some more work. I did that for a while when my kids were small."

We were soon joined by Alice and Rose each with her children. I lost count on cups of coffee and pieces of cake and I laughed so hard that my stomach threatened to tighten again. It felt so divinely relaxing to catch up with friends and share the hopes and dreams instead of tears of pain and disappointment. Things were working so well for all of us that we literally sang at the table in the backyard. Well, we actually sang "Twinkle, twinkle" to Charlotte but we did it all together, even Hugo and Henry joined in! When Carlisle came from work, he looked at us all, gasped, "Uh oh, the Cullen ladies, danger!" and he retreated into the house with a laugh. He and Esme insisted on babysitting their grandbabies so we three young moms could go and enjoy ourselves alone, just the three of us. We said we would certainly think about it.

…..

With digestive systems back to normal I put my rascals to sleep and met Morpheus myself, before Edward returned at half past ten at night. Through my sleep I reassured him that we were all in great form and… I don`t remember anything else. In the morning I found a white envelope on his pillow. There were children`s scribbles all over the white paper and I chuckled thinking that he must have found it in the twins` bedroom rather than taking a clean one from my study room.

_Hmm, fascinating._

I unfolded the paper inside and read Edward`s elegant handwriting.

`My dearest Bella,

I`ll be your man

I`ll understand

I`ll do my best to take

Good care of you.

Please, trust and follow me today. Edward.`

_Trust and follow him. Follow him where? _

I placed the letter back in the envelope and shook my head at the game he was playing. I dropped the girls at school and went to work. I was in the illustrators` room with Victoria when I heard a knock on the door. A young courier handed me a sealed envelope, similar to the one I found in the morning, complete with my children`s drawings on it.

`Sweetheart,

You`ll be my queen

I`ll be your king.

I know you are intrigued now and I can almost feel your heartbeat. I am looking forward to the rest of the day… Edward.`

Something was happening, something big, I could sense it. After the first letter a thought raced through my mind that he was planning some sexcapade and was making me want it badly, but the second envelope with our children`s marks on couldn`t be an accident. He wouldn`t have used their drawings in a naughty message. This looked deliberate. He had them involved in something and while reading the message again, I could only hold my breath and stay cool before I would announce to the world what I thought Edward was doing.

Another hour passed. And then another. As I was getting ready to leave the office, Alice popped her head in with a big Alice smile on her face and Charlotte in her arms. I melted seeing my little goddaughter.

"This morning Charlotte and I thought that maybe we could take Auntie Bella out for lunch. What do you say?"

"Girls, of course we can have lunch together! I`ll just pick up Sophie and Rachel from school and –"

"Bella," Alice started, "before you say anything else, I have a message for you."

And guess flipping what; she produced a white envelope with my girls` scribbles all over it!

`Bella,

You are my dream that`s daily coming true

And when the day is through

I will come to you.

My Angel, my Love, my Life, I will come to you for the rest of my days.

Enjoy the afternoon with Alice and Charlotte. Sophie and Rachel are safe and looked after.

Please, meet me at the house at five this evening.

I love you so much and I can`t wait to see you. Edward.`

I dragged my teary eyes to Alice, "Do you know what`s in this letter?"

"Nope. Edward gave it to me at the christening. I was supposed to pass it to you yesterday but you and Sophie weren`t well the day before and Edward wanted to make sure you were fine before he did this. I suspect the drawings on the envelope are done by Sophie and Rachel so it can`t be a kinky scene that he`s getting you ready for. And if not that, then stupid is the last thing we are, Bella, it can only be one thing," she finished with tears twinkling in her eyes, her voice breaking.

"Let`s have lunch," I suddenly sobered up, "Who has my babies?"

"Rose and Em. He`s giving the kids a cooking lesson and Rose bought pink nail polish so I believe they`ll have their own fun."

"They`re gonna have the time of their lives," I concluded. "Are they coming home tonight?"

"It`s an option. They can stay or they come back, depending on you and Edward."

"Okie dokie," I raised my brows.

I did my best to think about anything but what Edward must have been preparing. Yellow gold, Emmett telling Edward to put a ring on me, Carlisle dubbing me a Cullen girl just yesterday… They weren`t coincidences. It was lovely to laugh with Alice and coo to Charlotte but each minute seemed to stretch forever and five o`clock was like a lifetime away.

Before four in the afternoon I said goodbye to the Whitlock girls and promised Alice I would go home at five o`clock and not earlier. Neither of us would want to jeopardize Edward`s plan.

I went for a walk in the park and I prayed. I thanked the power higher than my own for all the challenges and turbulences of my life, because no matter their cost, they brought me home. Edward was my home. An hour later I went to meet my destiny.

I rang the bell and ten seconds later Edward opened the door.

"Hello, sir," I said, "I have received three letters today all pointing to this place. Would you by any chance be their author? The man who shamelessly puts the lyrics of one of my favorite love songs into his messages and claims them as his own?"

Edward chuckled, "Only if they say exactly what I want to say to you, Ma`am."

After he made sure that I wasn't thirsty and there was no way I would be able to eat, he took me by the hand and led me to the study room. There, on a small table beside a bottle of Champagne cooling in a bucket of ice rested a black jewellery box. I swallowed loudly. Edward picked up the box and looked me in the eyes.

"My hands are sweaty," I said.

"Same here," he replied.

"Bella, I like our babies` story where they say `I love you all the way to the moon and back.` I love you all around the universe, Sweetheart. Will you do me the extraordinary honor of marrying me?" He held up his hand with a gentle smile, "Before you give me your answer, please open the box."

I breathed deeply in and out and lifted the flap. Sitting on a lavish cushion was… one of my girls` plastic toy rings!

"Would you believe that Sophie gave me this ring when we were in Forks together a couple of months ago? She told me to give you this ring so we could get married and I would be her Daddy and we would live together forever."

"Oh," I giggled, "so the two of you have been planning this for months now, huh? Naughty. And I reckon you`re doing this not because of me but because of Sophie, right?"

"You are absolutely right; I gave her my word and I can`t break it," he said like an actor. Suddenly the tension in me was gone and I smiled back at him.

"You still want my answer though?"

"I do, but I think there`s a message for you somewhere here," he frowned and pulled a tiny piece of paper from the inside of the ring container.

It read `I am under the box`.

I laughed.

_What next?_

I turned the box upside down to see a pin attached to the bottom.

Edward took me by the hand again and encouraged me to open the living room door.

There were balloons. Everywhere. The entire room was covered in pink and white balloons; there was hardly any space to walk through.

_Oh, sweet baby Jesus._

I turned to Edward.

"Looks like you have some popping to do," he joked and pointed at the pin in my hand.

_Oh yeah, he already popped the question, now it`s my turn to pop. Clever.._

I pricked one balloon. A big `boom` and nothing. Another one. `Boom` and nothing. And another one and another… I must have popped about twenty when Edward found enough space to sit down on the couch and watch me. One balloon after another burst and although I was unsuccessful, I began smiling, then giggling and in the end laughing out loud. At that stage I knew I was looking for a ring but boy, was that fun! I felt good, I felt sexy and cherished and loved and I couldn`t wait to see what was awaiting me.

It seemed like a hundred of balloons later that Edward stood up and walked over to one corner with me. I slowed down and watched his reaction as the sharp end of the pin neared each bubble. He made funny faces at me and told me to keep going so I did, until one pink balloon burst in the air and landed on the floor with a plop. Out of it fell a tiny white silk bag.

"Oh my gosh," my heart picked up the pace as I gave it to Edward.

He pulled the ribbon string open and slipped the contents out onto his palm. I gasped at the exquisite gold ring that was soon to be mine. On top of a simple band there was a diamond, on each side of it there was a smaller one and on the sides of the smaller ones there were a further few more tiny ones. It took my breath away.

Our hands shivered when Edward slipped the ring on my finger and made me his fiancée.

"Bella –"

"Yes!" I said cutting him off, "Yes, Edward, I will marry you. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes…"

There was no need for any more words. He embraced me and lifted me up in the air like I was a feather to him. Our hearts were frantic and drummed excitedly as we stood there for a while without a single word.

"It`s so beautiful, Edward, thank you so much," I said admiring my ring, "It`s very me and very you, you know?"

He smiled at me relieved, "I was shown so many rings that I felt helpless in the end. But then one day I saw this one and straight away the biggest diamond reminded me of you and the smaller ones of the girls. In a way I`m marrying all three of you and I was happy that I found something representing you all."

"Oh, baby, that`s beautiful. I have one question though; what would the tiny stones represent?" I raised my brows innocently.

"Easy," Edward chuckled, "All the other babies that we will have together."

I examined the ring and counted the smallest sparkles, "Um, you mean ten?"

"Why not? Aren`t we supposed to be fruitful and multiply?"

"You are wild!" I laughed and fell into his embrace.

We had some Champagne to celebrate and then we picked up the burst balloons, leaving the remaining ones for Rachel and Sophie to play with. We also called Rose and Emmett and asked them to bring our babies home; we wanted to tell them the news.

Not long after that I opened the door to Emmett standing with Sophie and Rachel in front of him and holding a handmade banner "Congratulations to Mommy and Daddy!"

I recognized the writing as Rose`s but the little lines and circles and even happy faces were without a doubt all my little ducklings`, they had been working so hard on this day!

Emmett hugged Edward and me tightly and wiped some escapee tears.

"Guys, I`m so happy for you, there`s nothing more intelligent to say. Rose and I love you and if you two can`t do it then I don`t know who can."

"Thank you, love," I said to him.

"Now, I need to see the ring; Rose stayed at home with Henry and Lily but she`ll be interrogating me about that piece, Bella."

I thrust my left hand forward.

"Ooh la la! Neat! Bro, this is a little masterpiece, well done!" Emmett exclaimed.

"I can send Rose a picture on her cell," I offered.

"That`s probably the best bet; I`ll never get it right otherwise," he sighed, "And off topic, Dad found an abandoned puppy along with its mother. They`re gonna get checked by a vet and if all is OK Mom and Dad will keep them so the grandkids will have someone to look after. A naming party coming soon!"

Yay, another occasion to meet this mad crowd!

Edward and I showed our daughters my ring and explained that there was going to be a party and Mommy will be Daddy`s wife and Daddy`s going to be Mommy`s husband and that our family will be together till the end of time. The girls listened and nodded with faces that after a while looked somewhat bored. The perspective of playing with the balloons sounded much more exciting, so we all hopped and skipped around the living room bouncing and throwing the rubber balls at each other and my engagement ring sparkled in the lights.

When we found ourselves alone, I mean my fiancé and I ; -) he proceeded to press his lips to my chin and neck and lower…

"Sir, I`m an engaged woman," I scolded him playfully.

"You know the end of the song that I quoted in the letters, don`t you?"

I blushed.

"You want to be my lover? Before marriage?"

"Pardon?"

"I`m afraid I can only make love to my husband and since we aren`t married yet…"

"Bella, you`re joking, right?"

"Oh, my dear Edward, you have no idea what you have just gotten yourself into!" I laughed.

"So the real you is coming out now?"

"Oh yeah," I winked at him.

"Should I be afraid?"

"Be afraid! Be very, very afraid! Because I`m getting married!"

…..

**A/N: The quotes came from Robert`s song "I will be your lover, too" of course ;-)**

**And the "I never knew anyone who was lost but didn`t wanna be found" in the previous chapter are taken from one of the songs of Irish band Westlife. They also gave the story the title and a couple more quotes throughout. : -)**

**So, we`re heading for a wedding! : -) My question is, should I write out the wedding night? Edward`s Baby Bella, you know I`m talking to you, haha! Do we need some fruity or just keep it soft and fluffy?**


	34. Chapter 34

**A quickie: Please, if you`re writing to me asking me questions about the story, make sure that your PMs or e-mailing are enabled, otherwise I can`t contact you and I am sorry that a couple of you must feel disappointed and ignored by the lack of response from me. (Carlaisabel, I hope you`re still here and still enjoying the story : -) )**

**EmmettLuvr1935, thank you for your lovely messages and I hope you enjoy Emmett in this chapter : -)**

**The title of the chappie is a bow to the one and only "Wicked"!**

**Another bow, along with plenty of squeezy hugs go to bethroann who has been quite sick lately but she still corrected the chapter with never-ending humour and grace. : -) **

**Chapter 34 BPOV**

"**HANDS TOUCH, EYES MEET**

**SUDDEN SILENCE, SUDDEN HEAT…"**

"So, what do you say?" Alice frowned nervously and her lip sank between her teeth. I liked to laugh about how she had taken on my habits.

"It`s a `Wow` with a capital `W`, Alice, better than I had in mind," I said with a smile.

After the engagement news spread out I casually mentioned in a conversation that I was going to need a wedding dress and Alice jumped at the chance to show off her skills. We discussed my idea for a simple, knee-length dress with a sash that I had loved on Angela`s wedding gown a few months earlier. Now, two weeks later Alice presented me with a couple of her drawings with different variations of the same idea. Immediately, one project stood out for me. It would just about cover my knees, strapless like I had imagined, made of tulle and tiny flowers shaped patterned lace and with a wide, light beige sash that I had insisted on. It was ivory in color, which according to Alice would bring out the natural Snow White coloring of my skin better than traditional white that would make me look very pale and unhealthy. Funnily enough, I really enjoyed talking about gowns, hair and makeup. I wanted to look good and attractive for Edward.

Alice brought a few samples of lace for me to choose from and we waited for Rose over a cup of coffee in my living room. Charlotte was asleep beside us and her mom shared with me that the little princess was also going to wear a special dress on Auntie Bella and Uncle Edward`s wedding day, all pink. Sophie and Rachel insisted on pink as soon as I told them about the wedding and Auntie Alice was in her element. At first I thought I would love them in white, but they had worn those gorgeous white dresses at Angela and Ben`s wedding and I wasn`t sure I wanted to repeat it. Rose suggested that putting them in pink would: number one - make them happy, and number two - make them look sweet and cute while they wouldn`t take attention away from the bride at the same time. White was meant to be for me only that day, so I gave the reign over to Alice regarding my daughters` outfits and concentrated on myself.

The doorbell rang and I welcomed yet another planner of my big day : -)

"Rose, hi!" I hugged her and we walked back to the room.

"Girls, I`m so sorry I`m running late, but I`ve just sold a house that`s been on the market for over six months and I`m so happy!"

"Ah, you aren`t late at all and congratulations, that`s a huge deal!" I said.

Rose gave sleeping Charlotte a peck on her chubby hand and sat beside Alice and me on the couch.

"Right, before we start celebrating my enormous success I`ve got to show you what I have here," she announced, pulling a red folder out of a bag.

"Wow, you mean business, Rose," Alice giggled.

"You`ve seen nothing yet," Rose replied with a laugh, "We`re getting a new sister and I swear this is gonna be the best wedding in the family. Look, these are the pictures of the arches. We`ll have Bella in ecru and light beige, Edward in dark brown and the girls in pink, so I thought only white flowers would be too much of a contrast and the other colors would look dirty. I found this sample here," she showed Alice and me a photo of a wedding arch, "with white lilies and red roses. I have another one with lilies and roses, but the roses are beautiful pale pink. I like that one better to be honest; the red just seems too much in your face."

"I really like this one with pink roses," I said, pointing to the picture.

"Me too," Rosalie added, "Some baby`s breath would also look light and sweet here."

Alice nodded in agreement.

"Have you decided on the cake yet?" Rose turned to me after placing the flower photos down on the coffee table.

"Oh gosh, those two places we went to were complete misses," I shared, "We tasted eight cakes in one place and six in the other."

"In one day?" Alice looked at me fearfully.

"No, thank God, no. On two different days, but after the first one Edward almost got sick, he felt queasy all night and quite frankly we weren`t crazy about any of the cakes. They all looked great, but the taste was just OK and we decided that they were too heavy on the stomach. So at the second place Edward barely tried anything since he was expecting to feel ill again and I liked two cakes, one lemon and one chocolate."

"Oh, two very different tastes," Rose noticed.

"I know. I thought about it but still neither of them was a definite `yes`. Edward said if it`s not a definite `yes` then it`s a `no` and we decided to check out some small, unknown bakeries where we could ask to get something specific, just for us. And if not then I will personally bake a giant macaron!" I finished with a short laugh.

"I _loooove_ your macarons, Bella, you`re more than welcome to bake them!" Alice joined in.

Rosalie went quiet for a moment, clearly deliberating, "Bella, you might be onto something here."

"Like what?" I asked.

"Like the fact that my husband and your future brother-in-law owns a restaurant and is a fantastic cook and baker, goosey!"

"Rose, Emmett`s team are cooking for the reception, I can`t dump the cake on him as well!"

She waved me off like a fly, "Nonsense. The restaurant has only been in business for a few months and also Emmett and I have been occupied with Henry and Lily but he _does_ have plans and dreams to open ECLIPSE for wedding receptions in the future. But that`s not the point; the point is that he can make amazingly yummy desserts and exactly to order. I remember once in Fairbanks he made this gorgeous multi layered meringue cake with seasonal fruit for a christening. You`ve just mentioned macarons and it reminded me of that cake. One word, Bella and I will ask him. He would be so proud to do it for you and Edward."

"Are you sure it`s not too much?" I resisted, "He`s Edward`s best man, he has enough to do."

"Like what? Organizing the stag night?" She shot back.

"Don`t remind me. Do you know what they`re doing?" I inquired and glanced at both Rose and Alice.

Alice shook her head.

"I hope it`s not a strip club," I winced.

"Definitely not," Rose sounded certain, "Strip clubs are so last century, besides I am pretty confident that as much as Emmett likes dirty jokes and all that, he has eyes for one woman only and that`s me. And he knows that Edward wouldn`t enjoy it either."

"Good. I do striptease for my fiancè myself, thank you very much," I finished with a wink.

"I thought you were going to go celibate before the wedding," Alice reminded me of my plan.

"Well, try that when you`re living with your husband-to-be and sleeping in the same bed!" I laughed, "Edward wanted to sleep on the couch but at the same time we didn`t want to confuse the children; we don`t want them to think that something wrong is going on and Daddy has to sleep on the couch and not together with Mommy. We`re trying and his night shifts and tiredness help, but at the end of the day it`s not a big deal. But we promised ourselves that we wouldn`t have sex for a month before the wedding, no quickies, no hands, no mouth, nothing."

"Good idea," both girls agreed with me.

"So right now we lie in bed but tell each other stories from our childhood or talk about our favorite books and movies rather than getting hot and bothered."

"Leave that for the honeymoon," Alice clicked her tongue.

"I can`t wait till that! Though I`m trying my best not to think about leaving Rachel and Sophie for full two weeks. It`s heartbreaking; we have never been apart before. A day yes, but not two weeks."

"But your mom is staying with them, isn`t she?" Rose asked me.

"She is. And Esme and Carlisle offered help too. Even my dad said he`d be happy to take care of them for a few days either in Forks or here in Seattle. But still, I`ll miss them terribly and I don`t know how they`re going to take it."

Alice nodded her head with understanding, "Sweetie, we will all be here to help. You might want to start telling them about your trip though, just to prepare them mentally. Or leave them with us overnight. Obviously that would need to be a night when Edward`s working and you would be home alone, otherwise you two would bring the house down," she chuckled.

"I`ll think about it, thank you," I smiled.

Rose touched my hand, "I`m offering you the same, Bella. Lily would be delighted with company of other girls her age and Henry would be happy playing on his own, without Lily on his case all the time."

"How are they doing?" Alice turned to Rose.

"Great! They`re very well settled and happy already. You wouldn`t have guessed that they came to us only recently. And I have to say, Emmett and I are learning life lessons from them as much as they`re learning from us."

"Really?" I raised my brows.

"Honestly," she said, "Lily has this most gentle heart and she always expects something good to happen. In her case it doesn`t seem like naivety; there`s this peace in her and it draws me to her. She loves placing her hands on mine and staying like that for as long as it feels comfortable; like she`s doing some healing or something of that sort. The other day we were watching cartoons together and absentmindedly she put her little hand over my heart. You can call me stupid but I felt warmth coming from her and my heartbeat evened. Or she keeps it on my belly. It feels like she`s giving me her pure and unspoiled energy. No wonder Suzy and Jamie love her so much!"

"Is she with Esme now?"

Rose made a funny face, "Well, I know that she`s in Esme and Carlisle`s house but I`m not sure whether she`s visiting the grandparents or their new dogs! They`re so cute by the way, I can`t believe that someone would just dump a mother with a puppy like that. But let me tell you what happened yesterday with Henry. I did some grocery shopping with him and as we were leaving the store he asked for a cookie, so I handed him a box and told him to have one or two and put the rest in the bag."

"Right," I nodded awaiting more.

"So we are walking to the car and we round the corner see this young homeless woman with a little boy, maybe a year younger than Henry, sitting on the ground. I give her some money and her boy looks up at Henry. Henry asks him whether he`d like a cookie. The boy glances at his mother and Henry`s eyes land on me for approval and then as if nothing, my son simply hands the whole box of cookies minus one, to the boy," she finished wiping away a single tear.

"Wow!"

"So here I am thinking how wonderful it is that I can teach this boy to be good to others, to share and to enjoy simple things and as it turns I`m the one learning from him!"

"Imagine how comfortable and loved Henry already feels with you, Rose!" Alice threw in, "Plus, he must have heard or seen Emmett bringing food from ECLIPSE to the shelter."

"He has; he went with Emmett twice last week."

"He knows there`s more than enough for everyone," Alice added, "Though I must say it`s pretty unusual for a boy his age to give away so easily. My Hugo is a great, caring child but I`m not sure he would have given away a _full_ box of cookies just like that."

"You`re right. Young kids make sure they have enough for themselves before giving away, that`s why I was so surprised that Henry thought of sharing even one cookie. It made me so proud of him, girls. I really don`t understand why he had been basically _returned_ to the orphanage by some family last year," Rose said.

"I know why," Alice chimed in, "it was because Henry and Lily were yours and Emmett`s."

"Girls," I joined in, "I don`t really know their story. Why were they in the orphanage in the first place?"

"I don`t know an awful lot myself," Rose explained, "They were dumped at the orphanage door two years ago when Lily was just a couple weeks old and Henry was two and a half. There was a letter attached from the mother asking to take care of the children because she couldn`t do it anymore. She stated their names and dates of birth and so on. Later when she was questioned, the story unveiled that she lived with her boyfriend in quite a rough area, neither of them held a job for more than a few weeks and both were cocaine addicts. The boyfriend ended up in jail for selling drugs to some youngsters a month before Lily was born and the mother just couldn`t manage anymore."

"So she was alone with two small children, no money and addicted?" I listed.

Rose nodded, "Yes. I don`t know how she ended up in that life but Emmett told me that apparently she dropped out of college at some point which tells me that she was a smart woman with hopes and dreams and plans for the future at some point. Fair play to her for giving the children away and giving them a chance. She wasn`t on drugs when Henry was born but she was taking while pregnant with Lily."

"But Lily`s healthy, isn`t she?" Alice asked.

"She is, thank God," Rose continued, "Apart from being born prematurely and rather small, she has never had any issues. She never experienced living with both her parents intoxicated and arguing, but Henry did and that`s why Emmett and I were warned that he could have emotional challenges. I heard that when they first arrived at the orphanage Henry had very limited language but he was immensely attached and very protective of Lily. He kept saying "Henry and Lily" or "Lily cry, Henry help". God only knows what he witnessed at home and while he was sweet and lovely towards Lily, he shouted at night and bit and hit other children. For quite some time he couldn`t establish a close relationship with anyone, but slowly he learned how to live with others without expecting to be hurt or abandoned. When they were found on the doorstep, they were both clean and with no injuries, suspicious bruises and things like that. Their clothes were quite poor quality but also clean, so the mother put effort into taking care of them. Although she and her boyfriend gave up their parental rights, she was contacted numerous times and encouraged to get clean, see the children and maybe eventually straighten her life, but she lost interest and was too much in love with that junkie of a boyfriend. Once she was free of the kids, she lost herself in that excuse for a life completely."

"It`s terrible," Alice said starring into distance.

"Uhm," replied her sister-in-law.

"And you said something about the children being returned to the orphanage last year?" I remembered.

"Oh yeah, there was this family who took them for a few days but Henry`s testing boundaries proved too much for them to deal with. There were families interested in him only or just in Lily, but it never worked out."

"Until now," I stated.

Rose smiled a bright smile and raised her glass.

"OK, enough about me, we`re here to talk about Bella!" She winked, "Tell us how you`re feeling."

"I`m feeling great and surprisingly calm. I`m glad that Edward and I agreed on a small affair. We want to look forward to the day instead of running around like headless chickens and waiting for the wedding to be over instead of enjoying it. I just wanna be married to Edward and tha`s all, just… yeah, get that ring on my finger, be a Cullen and breathe and live."

"I heard you`ve applied for the name change for Sophie and Rachel?" Alice inquired.

"Yes, Edward talked to Carlisle`s friend, the lawyer..."

"Jenks? Jonathan Jenks?"

"Yes, that's him. I was worried that we would need to do genetic tests to prove that Edward is the girls` biological father, but in our case the documents from the clinic that we both have will be enough for the judge to put Edward`s name on the birth certificates and change the girls` name. But even if they needed to do blood testing, then Edward is happy to do it and as for the children, I had umbilical cord blood collected at their birth and that can be used for genetic profiling without involving the girls. We`ve been told that it shouldn`t take more than a few weeks."

"So by law, your daughters may become Cullens before you!"

"Yes! I`m so glad that it`s so much easier than I thought because I even feared that Edward would need to actually adopt the girls in order to change their last name, which would be a ridiculous thing that he`d have to adopt his biological offspring. Thank God it`s just a simple matter. I can now relax and concentrate on becoming a Cullen myself. And that`s somewhat exciting!"

"Woohoo," Rose winked at me, "You go, girl! I love the designs of the dress by the way."

"Thank you," Alice and I responded simultaneously and Rosalie laughed at us.

"I know it doesn`t look like a typical wedding dress," I said.

Rose winced, "It does! I mean, it`s knee length so that`s why you don`t think it looks like a wedding number, but it`s sweet, cute, lovely, beautiful and sexy. It`ll take your _husband_ five seconds max to get it off of you," she ended with a smirk.

I closed my eyes and blushed and my companions burst out laughing.

"You wanna hear something else?" I braved their smiling eyes, "The night Edward proposed I went off the pill."

The huge "O"s on their mouths made _me_ laugh this time.

"So you`ll be trying for a baby?" My fiancé`s sister enquired hopefully.

"Yes," I whispered, emotional all of a sudden, "At the moment if we get excited and things go too far we use protection, unless we `forget`, but after the wedding that`s it, we`ll give nature a chance."

My confession was met by wishes of good luck and loud applause that managed to make Charlotte stir in her pram and we suddenly remembered that we were all mommies already and it was time to pick the children up from school.

**August 13****th**

"The day was beautiful…" that`s the way the story usually begins, doesn`t it? Well, not in our case. I woke up in the middle of the night to the sounds of raindrops hitting the sills and the wind so strong that I feared that the windows would be blown off the hinges. I rolled out of bed to close them and groaned internally. The puddles on the ground were deep and filled with mucky water.

_It doesn't matter. I`m getting married to Edward and no downpour is gonna stop me. The girls have been working so hard to get the backyard in Edward`s parents` house prepared but if we have to move the ceremony into the house, I guess it`ll be OK, too. Our new attires might get wet and dirty… Never mind. Rain or shine, I am going to walk down the aisle and marry Edward…_

_I`m marrying Edward._

_I`m going to be his wife…_

_He`ll be my husband…_

_Oh, dear Lord, I`m marrying Edward… Thank you._

_Thank you, thank you, thank you…_

I thanked and thought myself into sleep again and when I opened my eyes in the morning I stretched and smiled to myself. _I`m marrying Edward today._

It was hard to believe it was the middle of August. The rain was lashing outside. _I`m marrying Edward today._

The birds had hidden away. Not one happy chirp. _I`m marrying Edward today._

My mom, my daughters and I ate breakfast together and Renèe kept my mind occupied with her Italian stories as Italy was where she`d spent the previous two months. At eleven o`clock I opened the door to Carlisle who had brought Rose and Alice over to help me get dressed and do my hair while he took my mom and the girls back to his house. Alice and Rose rushed in covering their hair, wearing jeans and hoodies in place of their gorgeous dresses which I was expecting to see.

"We`ll do your hair and makeup but I think you should put the dress on as late as possible," Rose suggested.

"True," I agreed, "I keep telling the skies that there`s no need to cry; it`s not like the last virgin on Earth is getting married today, you know? It`s only me."

Alice started laughing, "Oh gosh, I`m so glad you`re in a good mood, Bella."

"Darling," I said to her and Rose, "I`m becoming your sister today, what`s not to be happy about?"

"Aw, that`s so sweet!" Rose exclaimed.

"Nothing can burst my bubble today, ladies; I will go there and get my man even if I have to wear wellies. I am way too frustrated sexually to be bothered by some water leaking from the sky."

"Hahaha, hahaha!" Alice laughed out loud, "Wait, weren`t you `alone` if you know what I mean," _wink, wink_ "for a year before you met Edward?"

"I was. And your brother and I took our sweet time to finally take the leap so it was a year and a half to be precise," I elaborated.

"And now you`re ready to explode after a month of `dry season`?" My sister-in-law to-be mocked me.

"My dear, I ate plain bread for years, then your brother came and I tasted a fresh ham and cheese sandwich. Try going back to boring plain bread after that!"

"So Edward is your ham and cheese sandwich?" Rose was making sure.

"Yep. A delicious one. He looks good, he smells good and he tastes good!" I shouted out.

"Gee, if you two had a sex tape, I`d flipping watch it," Rose blurted out.

"Totally!" Alice cheered and then they both realized what they`d said.

"You two are dirty and disgusting and I love you to bits," I declared, "Group hug!"

We hugged and joked some more as Alice applied my makeup and Rose created bouncy, shapely, soft waves from my hair. I smiled to the girl in the mirror. I knew her well; she was beautiful and she was getting married to the love of her life.

I heard the bells chime in a nearby church. It was midday and only three hours separated me from my new life.

"Girls, look out the window!" Rose demanded while Alice and I laughed at another joke.

"What is it?" Alice lifted up her head.

I obeyed Rose and stood beside her by the window sill. And then slowly I covered my open mouth with a hand.

"A rainbow," I whispered.

"A _double_ rainbow, Bella," Alice whispered back.

I couldn`t believe it, "It stopped raining, there`s a double rainbow in the sky and the sun is coming out… I`m getting married out in the sunshine, girls, at your parents` house and under that stunning arch. This is amazing," I added breathlessly.

"For such a downpour to stop so suddenly, it sure is. I guess you told Heaven enough times today that you`ll be happy and excited no matter what, so somebody up there decided` ah, what the heck, she`s bubbly anyway, we might as well give her some sunshine`," Rose said with a smile.

"Having said that," Alice pointed a finger in the air, "Rose and I need to go back to the house and get the backyard scene ready!"

She made a call while Rose packed up the makeup and hair equipment. I stared out the window with a goofy smile.

_Thank you._

Angela attached an old coin to the sole of my shoe for good luck and prosperity in my marriage. I thanked Alice for my dress. And then I smiled at the plastic ring with a blue `jewel` that I had borrowed from Sophie, the one that she had given Edward to propose to me with, and put it on my pinky.

At five minutes past three in the afternoon I slipped a somewhat nervous arm through my dad`s one and taking one step at a time I walked closer and closer to my love.

"Dad, don`t let me fall, OK?"

"Have I ever?"

"No and now wouldn`t be the best time to start," I tried to joke.

Charlie shook his head, "Let`s go, I`m a nervous wreck as it is."

_Oh, great!_

The sun was blazing. The ground was nourished, the plants were washed clean and fresh by the rain and the air was clear. No one would believe that heavy rain stopped merely hours earlier. It felt as if the world was preparing for that special moment as well, washing away the old and brightening the new. The birds sang away in the trees and the flowers smelled divine.

Family and friends stood proud and smiley.

Sophie and Rachel watched us in awe, unaware of the incredible privilege of witnessing their own parents` wedding.

Edward let out some air and rubbed his shaky hands as I drew nearer.

Angela`s dad, Mr. Weber performed the ceremony and Edward and I declared our love for each other `till the end of time`. I felt the coolness of the wedding band slipped onto my finger and I became Mrs. Cullen.

_I married Edward._

"Tradition calls for one more thing," the minister smiled at us, "Edward, you may kiss your bride."

My husband smiled victoriously to himself and then he cupped my face underneath the canopy of flowers and connected his lips with mine; lightly as a feather, tender and adoring, with a hint of promise lingering in his eyes as we parted.

Seconds later we both got to hug our daughters and share our first moments as a formal family. I squeezed Sophie and closed my eyes for a few seconds, trying to comprehend the magnitude of what had just happened and regain the control over the happiness I was feeling, otherwise I would have burst with joy and gratitude. When I dared to look around again, I saw Edward standing right beside me, embracing Rachel and planting a big kiss on her forehead with his eyes closed; he was feeling it too.

"Mommy, you have a pretty dress on!" Sophie said to me.

"Thank you, my angel, and so do you!" I answered, "You both look so beautiful, girls. So, these are the special dresses that I wasn`t allowed to see before today?" I scanned their pale pink attires.

"Auntie Alice made them!" My daughter nodded feverishly, "And look what Daddy _gived_ me today," she bowed her head for me to see the cutest, handmade butterfly shaped hairclips.

"Daddy gave them to you?"

"Yes, uhm," Sophie declared, "Rachel got ladybugs. They`re special for the wedding," she finished solemnly.

"Are they? I see."

"That`s what Daddy said," and she turned to smile to Edward. He winked at her.

"Rachel, can I see your clips, love?" I asked and admired what was undoubtedly Alice`s handwork again in my other daughter`s hair.

"Gorgeous," I kissed one ladybug.

"Mommy and Daddy got rings and we got clips," Rachel explained to me.

"They are very special and lovely," I said and let the children go while I turned to Edward, "The surprise?"

"Yeah, I was thinking about getting them little rings or lockets, but they`re too young and wouldn`t appreciate them. So I asked Alice to make the hairclips and you should have seen the duckies when I presented them to them," he smiled to himself, chuffed.

"Don`t tell me you had the clips in jewellery boxes," I opened my eyes widely.

"I sure did! Mom recorded it, you can watch it later."

"Aw, Edward, that`s so, so sweet. They`re the luckiest little girls on the planet with you as their daddy."

"Thank you. How about my wife? Does she feel lucky to have me?"

_His WIFE?_

_Oh dear Lord, it`s ME!_

"She feels extremely… well, I`ll see how lucky I am _tonight,_" I shot him a cheeky grin.

"Wow, you really are a Cullen now," he growled, _he growled!_ into my ear.

My toes curled in my fancy shoes and when we were out of breath after being hugged, squeezed, squashed, smooched and passed on from one person to another, we were invited to take our seats at the table.

I was admiring my wedding ring and taking the whole scene in when some clinking of glass brought me back from my reverie and reassured me that everything was happening for real. Emmett`s speech.

_Oh dear, brace yourselves. ; -)_

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls," he started, "I have been very foolishly given the task of being the best man by my brother Edward."

"So, Edward, you look beautiful today. Bella, you`ve scrubbed up well, love."

The guests laughed.

"On a more serious note, you married today for better or for worse and it`s so true; Edward couldn`t have done any better and Bella certainly couldn`t have done any worse. I think we`ll all agree that Bella made an excellent choice for her first husband."

More laughs around.

"OK, alright, say something nice, Emmett…" He scratched his head, pretending to be looking for words.

"Let`s see, what can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings, a man who is now quickly rising to very top of his profession based solely on his intelligence, wit, grit and the willpower to push on where others have fallen? A man who is beginning to distinguish himself at the highest level amongst his peers, and where none can say a bad word about him?"

"OK, OK, my bad again, enough about me; I am here to talk about the Groom, Edward!"

"Are we all having a good time?"

We all cheered "YES!" and Emmett continued.

"That`s good. And don`t worry, I read somewhere that the best man`s speech shouldn`t take any longer than it takes the groom to make love. So, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mr and Mrs Cullen," and he sat down!

I looked around and saw everyone laughing yet again; even Rose who would usually attempt to temper her husband`s antics was wiping tears of laughter off her face.

Emmett stood up again.

_Hallelujah!_

"Some of you may have been surprised by how calm and collected Edward seemed today; he seemed to have avoided the wedding day jitters. However, you didn`t see him at nine o`clock in the morning when he was lying on his bed, with our Mom rubbing his back and trying to make him to eat one more spoonful of sugar puffs."

"Seriously though, let`s talk about Edward. I thought it unfair to use just my own opinion so I decided to ask some other people what they thought of the Groom. I enquired his work colleagues. There are a couple dotted around the place this evening, Gary Hobson, you put your hand up! Anyone else who`s worked with Edward? Well, dear brother, you will be pleased to know that they unanimously referred to you as godlike. When asked to qualify this, they said – they never see you, you make your own rules and if you do work, it`s a miracle!"

"You know, last night I asked the Groom what he wanted out of marriage. He said he wanted to be a model husband and a model citizen. And with a very cheeky smile he added that he also wanted to be a model lover. So, being the naïve guy that I am I looked up the word model in the dictionary and it said `model – a small, miniature replica of the real thing`!"

"As best man and a happily married man myself, it`s my duty to offer some advice to the happy couple:

Edward – whenever you have a `discussion` with Bella, always remember to get the last two words in - `yes, dear`.

Bella – it`s not the man in your life that counts, it`s the life in your man!"

The uproar felt incredible. My cheeks were burning and Emmett waited for us all to calm down.

"Let me tell you, I spent the last three months worrying about this speech and then today… through my own welled up eyes I watched this beautiful girl walk up the aisle to meet my baby brother… and it came to me:

Nobody else could possibly stand where I am right now and feel more proud and honored than me, to be able to represent Edward on this – the most important day of his life."

"Bella and Edward, today is about you pledging your lives to each other. In doing so, on behalf of all the guests I wish you all the happiness in the world. We love all four of you so, so much and if love makes the world go round, you two should make it spin. Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses to Mr and Mrs Cullen!"

We clapped and tipped the Champagne flutes.

If we thought that was the end of hilarity, boy, were we wrong! Angela delivered an equally funny bridesmaid`s speech, joking about Edward`s apparent fascination with high tech gadgets and how she`d seen his iPhone, iTouch, iPod and iPad. So when she asked him what was his first gift to his wife, she wasn`t surprised when he said `iRon`. We were all in stitches at the jokes and the deliverance of them.

The toasts were raised and soon we all took over the dance floor.

"That speech was priceless, Emmett," I said to the best man as we twirled in time with the music.

"Oh, thanks, Bella. You really liked it? I didn`t go too far with the jokes?"

"Certainly not, you know I enjoy the naughties too," I winked.

Emmett held me closely, "Great. I am so proud and happy to have you as my little sister and if that new husband of yours ever does you wrong, I swear I`ll speak some sense into him."

"Aw, I appreciate it, big brother," I chuckled to him.

"And a bit more seriously, you`re both very lucky to have found each other. Congratulations."

"Look at you," I heard from Jacob a moment later, "Rosy cheeks, twinkling eyes. I`m so happy for you, Bella."

From Jasper, "You make my best friend so ridiculously happy, Bella. Judging by your smile he does the same for you."

And from Carlisle, "Sweetheart, you think you`re celebrating your wedding today, but it`s my day too. Today I got a wonderful new daughter."

Oh yes, it was a beautiful day.

The only thing that attempted to dampen my mood was the fact that I wouldn`t see my babies for two weeks, but knowing that they were safe and would be well taken care of by my mom who was staying at our house, and the rest of my large new family allowed me to look forward to the honeymoon. Edward was taking me… well, I didn`t know where he was taking me. But I couldn`t wait to go anyway ; -)

…..

Instructed not to ask questions and just enjoy the ride I was whisked off to the airport, put on a plane where I slept like a baby, and then transported by a speedboat to a stunning, heavenly looking place that I doubt I had ever even heard of. The darkness of the night only added to its mysterious appeal and charm.

"Edward, where are we?" I asked scanning the beauty around.

"Isle Esme."

"Isle Esme?" My brows travelled way up, "Like your mom`s name?"

"Well, yes, like my mom`s name but no, not my mom if you follow me. My mom and dad met the first owners of this place whey were celebrating their engagement decades ago in a little restaurant. That couple was in the same restaurant celebrating their twenty fifth wedding anniversary. They got talking and my parents learned that that man`s wife was also called Esme and the husband had bought an island, _this island_ and named it after her when they were younger. He told my dad that he`d be happy to let my parents spend their honeymoon on it, and the friendship flourished. I`m friends with their grandkids."

"And they allowed you to bring your new wife here? That`s so generous and thoughtful, isn`t it?"

"I agree, but they insisted."

"I`ve _got _ to meet them one day and thank them, Edward."

"You`ve met them already, at the wedding," he smirked at me.

I squinted my eyes at his cheeky expression and searched my memory for all of Edward`s friends who had been present at our ceremony and reception earlier.

"Phil and Sarah?"

"No, Phil`s and my mom used to work together, he and I are childhood buddies."

"Then… Elizabeth and Austin?"

"Yes. It was Austin`s grandfather who bought this place almost sixty years ago. I had an agreement with Austin that he wouldn`t mention the island to you in case that pretty head of yours figured it out."

"I can`t believe it," I shook my head, "I danced with the guy and I told his wife that I had no idea where I was spending my honeymoon and neither of them gave away an iota of information!"

"I wanted a surprise for you," he smiled with this adorable warmth in his eyes.

"It`s the best one, Edward. So, it`s a private island," I said to myself, "Are there any other people here then?"

"Literally a few. The family spends their vacations here but they also organize business meetings and retreats, so there are a few staff members here who maintain the place. Don`t worry though, we`ll be left alone," he murmured into my ear standing behind me.

"It`s like paradise and it`s all for us for two weeks."

"We`ll take the boat to the little towns around if you like."

I nodded and smiled. Truth be told, right now I wanted to be as far as possible from other people and close as life allowed it with my husband.

The personnel were warm and welcoming and after they made sure that we were happy, it seemed like they had vanished into thin air and Edward and I were on our own.

The main house looked like a palace. It didn`t take a professional to know that the furniture was extremely expensive and most likely custom made, the couches so comfortable and deep that once you plunked yourself onto them it took conscious effort not to groan and moan with pleasure. But that was supposed to be for my husband… ; -) The cushions were so soft I wanted to tear them apart and bury myself underneath the fluffy feathers…

I blushed when Edward led me to the bedroom. Oh, they certainly knew what we were coming here for; the candles were ready to be lit, the bright red satin sheets reflecting the dim lights and alluring, the soft rose petals scattered on the floor like a pathway leading to the lovebed. Could it be more obvious!

I didn`t care.

I didn`t care about some strangers knowing what I was about to do with my new husband, but he on the other hand…

We found ourselves on the opposite sides of the bed, glancing at it shyly and nervously as if it were our first night together, ever.

Well, it was. Our first night as husband and wife, bound together forever.

Seeing Edward`s uncertainty made me cry inside with love. He was nervous at the altar and he was nervous now, about to make love to his wife. He cared. It showed me that he still got the chills and still wanted to do his best to keep me happy. Slipping the ring onto my finger didn`t automatically cut off the romance and the courtship; on the contrary, he seemed like he wanted to give me the whole world and God knows I`d do the same and more for him.

I breathed deeply trying to calm down.

"There`s a pool downstairs," Edward said quietly.

"Oh, is there? Can we go?"

"If you wish."

"I would love that," I blurted out.

He came over to me and held me tightly.

"I would give you the world, baby," he said to my hair, "I would give you all things perfect and I would give you forever."

_OK, he never told me he could read my mind! _

I lifted up my head to face him, "Sweetheart, all I need is _our own_ world, _our own_ perfect and _our own_ forever. We have it all. Now, which way to the swimming pool?"

"Through that door," he motioned with his head.

"Great. You better follow and catch me. I want you naked and now!" I finished with a laugh and pushed him away playfully.

I started to run and although he would have caught up with me in no time, he left me the upper hand and counted to ten first and then he darted down the stairs chasing me.

I pushed the large double door open and almost bounced back again. Carefully, I stepped onto luscious, gold colored marble floor sprinkled with tiny flakes of mica, glittering like diamonds around a huge pool. I could see the bottom of it through the perfectly clear, inviting water.

Edward picked me up and spun me around, "Gotcha!"

"Oh, sugar," I cussed under my nose but not quietly enough.

"Something wrong?" Edward`s face fell a little.

"No, no, it`s just that I have this special lingerie for tonight and…" I blushed like only a bride could as my husband looked at me with a dazzle.

"You can change and come back or we can go back to the bedroom…"

"No!" I protested, "Let`s be spontaneous and go with the flow. Now I want to get into that pool with you; I can give you a little show or a dance later or tomorrow."

I swear that man`s eyes turned black!

"You mean like a… show, a lapdance and stuff?"

"Aha! I can do _stuff_, you know? I don`t do it just for anyone, I`ve been keeping some specials for my husband only and now that I have him…"

"Oh, fuck, Bella, baby, I love you, I love you, I love you and I want you so badly and…" he kept saying between kisses.

"Oh my goodness, Edward, no!" I said dramatically.

"Sorry?"

"Sweetie, do you have a fever? You`re so hot!"

In an instant he got his color back, "Cheeky. Playing a nurse, no problem. What do you propose, nurse?"

"First I`ll cool you down," I whipped the first button of his shirt open. Some more followed.

"And then?" He growled with hooded eyes.

I looked into his eyes and cupped his pants between the legs, "And then I`ll burn you," I promised him.

All he was able to utter was heavy breathing.

_Typical. Reduced to jelly already._

At an unnatural speed he rid of the rest of his clothes, leaving just the boxer shorts on, and stood in front of me anxiously.

"Have a swim, I`ll hop in in a moment," I said drawing a finger down his chest.

"Alright, Mrs Cullen. Don`t keep me waiting too long."

I watched my delicious man jump in and swim gracefully across the pool to the shallow end where he turned around and leaning against the wall he crooked his finger at me, daring me to come join him. His wedding ring flashed at me momentarily and I felt so sweetly weak that I could lie on the cool tiles and purr.

I could feel Edward`s greedy eyes on me while I peeled the `going away` attire off my body one layer at a time, so slowly that I could hear my husband`s groaning and moaning in need and desperation. The fabrics formed a heap on the gold of the floor and my own new ring reflected some light and shone as if smiling at me.

I stood there for a few seconds wearing my bridal underwear only and took a deep breath, taking it all in. All was quiet and I could only hear the beating of my heart.

"Bella," Edward`s calm voice reached me at last.

I looked up at him and although there was a significant distance between us, I could see his brilliant face anxious and delighted. There was nothing else for me to do but take a plunge and unite with my beloved man.

I broke through the turquoise waves and kicked my way to Edward. Just as I was about to touch him though, he ducked away and with a laugh, dived in to reappear on the surface out of my reach.

"Cheeky," I accused him.

"I thought you wanted to play `catch`!" He opposed.

"You`ve caught me already, remember? Now I`m gonna get _you_!" I swirled the water around me and went under to capture his legs but he`d escaped again.

"Come on, show me what you`ve got, Mrs Cullen!"

"You`re worse than a three-year-old," I shouted through my laughter after resurfacing once more.

If anyone watched us, we sure looked like two kids knowing that the bag of our favorite candy was waiting to be opened anytime we felt like it, and we were so certain that we would get it that delaying gratitude seemed fun.

And it _was_ fun! Edward and I splished and splashed like kids in oversized bathtub for a good quarter of an hour, chasing each other without a single care in the world, until I couldn`t pretend that my husband`s strong and firm muscles flexing and calling to me didn`t affect me any longer. Edward happened to glance at me just as I licked my lips while watching him emerging from the warm waves and all the goofiness was gone.

He moved to the shallow end and turned to check where I was. I kicked my legs off the wall on the other side and floated, making sure to end up in the open arms of my haven.

"Hello, my love," reverberated in my ears and I laid my eyes on him.

"Hi, caught you," I said.

"Are you OK?"

"More than OK," I admitted, revelling in the warmth surrounding my body, "What`s happened today is just starting to sink in, you know? Us getting married and being here in this paradise… Have I mentioned us being married?" I winked at him.

Edward let out a short laugh, "I know what you mean, I can`t stop staring at my ring. I`m so proud, Bella, so proud to be your husband. I could stay right here just with you for as long as possible and at the same time something small in me can`t wait to get out there into the world and talk about my _wife_."

"Mmmm," I murmured, "I love when you say it," I smiled and glued my lips to his.

He held me closely and kissed me back, deeply and hungrily. I whimpered against him.

"Baby, it`s been so long," I managed to mumble while pressing myself to him harder, "I need you."

Edward slid the sides of my bra off my shoulders and dragged his index fingers down my arms, following the journey of the lace, one at a time.

"Clasp at the front," I nudged his forehead with my nose as he licked and kissed along my collarbones and his hands ghosted over my chest.

"You know what I like," he smiled to himself.

"I know my husband," I smirked with confidence.

"I`m looking forward to learning more of your turn-ons too," he answered.

"As it happens, your ring is the biggest one right now," I declared, watching him open my bra and shimming myself out of it.

"My sweet perkies, how I missed you," he moaned to my breasts and seconds later my tips disappeared in his mouth and between his fingers. Judging by his half-closed eyes and drawing from memory I presumed that his mind was only half-working too, so I stopped talking, closed my eyes and enjoyed the heat spreading throughout my body.

I reached down between us to find and stroke him. He automatically thrust forward and vocalized his appreciation.

"Naughty," I heard and another hand ventured to our lower parts, this time Edward`s one.

Confidently, he passed the lacey barrier and made my lady bits squeak with joy.

"Mmmmm, and juicy," he added a second later.

My eyes opened and stared directly into his as we touched each other and our movements stirred the water, creating slow, steady rings vibrating around our impatient, investigating and exploring bodies..

When it got too much to take, Edward guided my hand to his chest and then around on his shoulders and neck while he drew shapes on my oversensitive back, kissing me with abandon.

I gave in to the moment and after being assured that there was no other soul in the house I dropped my shield of decency. I felt his bulge agonizing in the confines of the boxer shorts and I clawed to him with all I had.

"Oh, dear lord! Edward, please take me. Make love to your wife, honey," I breathed into his ear. It did the trick.

His breathing was so heavy and bothered. Neither of us was up for much more foreplay and promises.

We got rid of the last pieces of clothing and Edward twirled me and leaned against the wall of the pool. Then he lifted me up and unhurriedly guided me onto himself. I sank him in and boldly bore my eyes into his all the while.

"At last," he winked at me.

"I love you inside me. Now, _this _is how I could stay forever," I said while moving up a little and then sitting down, filling up with him again. Edward`s eyes rolled.

"We`ll do it often enough."

"Oh, yeah, you`ve got that right," I murmured.

He bucked his bottom away from the wall for me to wrap my legs around his waist and I gained a slightly different angle, much to my contentment. Holding on to Edward`s shoulders I moved at a pace that suited us both as we kissed at the same time.

"Divine," he revelled at his shaft kept diving my soft channel, "so hot and wet."

"So good, Edward… it feels so good…" I managed to mumble out while pushing on him harder and stronger.

"Oh, you like that, don`t you?" He asked and one of his hands touched my back.

"A bit lower, Edward," I instructed, breathing heavily.

"Here?" He croaked out hazily, dragging the hand down my spine.

"On my ass, baby. Cup my ass."

"Like this?"

"Oh yeah, just like that," I answered and feeling his support on my bum I squirmed and gyrated against him, receiving loud moans of approval from my husband.

"Bella, I`m getting close… Can we turn around?"

"Uhm…" I agreed with my mind completely clouded, "I need you… desperately…"

In a matter of a nanosecond Edward turned us so my back touched the wall of the pool and he had more control of the depth of his thrusts.

"Fuck me, Edward… hard, baby… please… mmmm…"

He didn`t need to be asked twice. I jerked and I threw my head back while he drew one of my nipples into his mouth, sucking as hard as he could. I cried out and my eyes shut for a moment.

"So ripe," he said, blowing at the nipple and latching onto the other one, "like berries ready for the picking."

As our lower bodies moved together, I could feel Edward`s manhood so deliciously deeply inside me, skilfully making itself at home, poking, grazing, gliding and penetrating…

When he let go of my breasts, bright red and almost sore, he slammed his left hand on the edge of the wall, beside my arm, and his right one raked down my chest and stomach, right to the point of our joining. I covered it with mine and guided his thumb, circling it around my clit and applying the amount of pressure that brought me close to the edge. I was losing my mind. Through what felt like fog I caught a glimpse of my beautiful husband`s face and body. So happy, so perfect and so fucking mine…

"Edward," I dared to break the tantalizing rhythm.

He almost looked annoyed when I started untangling my legs on his back, but quickly regained his hazy smile as I rested my feet on his shoulders and held on tightly to the railing behind me.

"I love you," he whispered in a raspy voice and filled me up deeper that before.

_Oh, dear God…_

The new sensations gave us even more boldness. There were just the two us in the whole world, Mr and Mrs Cullen, panting, moaning and reaching their highest high… The familiar tingling sensation began in my toes and continued up as Edward rode me fast. I could feel this was going to be intense. At the first sign of my completion the muscles on my legs tightened and my feet pushed against Edward`s clavicles, but he clutched my hips, keeping them in place while driving into me with confidence. I screamed out the first waves of pleasure and grabbed his warm arm, waiting for him to follow me…

Not wanting to let go, I slipped my legs off and wrapped them around his back again.

It took us a while to come down from the high. Edward pressed his forehead to mine and we both breathed deeply.

"That was… God, I can`t remember my name now," he chuckled after a minute or two, still linked with me.

"I know," I whispered in agreement.

"Unbelievable. I don`t know if it`s because we took a break or something else."

"I think it`s marriage," I dared.

"Marriage?"

"Well, some women say that their inhibitors let go after they got married. Not necessarily the ceremony itself but the feeling of certainty that it`s official."

"They feel more secure in the relationship?"

"I think so," I said, "I never thought about it seriously, but it`s possible to be true for some."

"Is it true for you?" He drew a lazy circle around my oversensitive nipple.

"Judging by how I felt now and what I`m planning on doing to you and with you for the next two weeks, it might as well be," I suggested.

His moved his hands up to cup my face, "I love you, my Bella. And I want you to feel secure with me _always_, not only now and because we`re married."

"I know," I smiled a little uncomfortably, "and I love you, too."

"You`re OK?"

I wriggled my hips, "I need to untangle my legs and it`s tricky."

"Stiff?"

"Yeah, a bit."

I got a cute peck on the nose and Edward helped me stand on my own feet in the pool again.

I groaned.

"That`s what you get for being so dirty with your new husband, my darling wife," he laughed.

"Cheeky," I shot back, "Just you wait till I`m ready again."

"Looking forward to it! How about getting out of the water for a rest now, huh? We`re both shrinking."

"OK. But we`ll be back here soon, alright?" I asked like a kid.

"Whenever you wish, love. Remember we have a gorgeous beach around, too."

"Oh, yeah! Anyway, I wanna have you in every room of this house and on that beach as well."

"Is this a warning?"

"Do you feel threatened?"

"I`d call it curious and anxious actually."

"Good."

"Who would have thought that Bella Cullen would be so sex crazed?"

"Number one, I`m a Cullen now and we have a reputation to live up to, right?" I winked at him theatrically, "Secondly, honeymoon is supposed to be a time of uninterrupted fun, bonding, resting, relaxing and lovemaking, and we`re not even getting the full moon cycle! Thirdly, when again are we going to get two weeks on our own, without little people around? You know I love our babies to bits…" and that was about all I could say before he shut my mouth in a big, passionate kiss.

The memories of the next two weeks will stay with me till the sun stops shining, for many reasons. I kept my word and enjoyed my husband`s delicious body in many places and times, with various intensity ; -) Some days we would take it nicely and slowly, swaying in a gentle rhythm like we did the first time. We talked, laughed, played games and listened to music… One night Edward lit a few candles in a dark room and sat opposite me with a guitar to sing my beloved "Now and Forever" just for me. I cried. Another day he played my lullaby on the grand piano. I cried some more. We called Sophie and Rachel and told them how much we loved and missed them. We browsed through the impressive book collection that the owners kept in the house. We also took trips to villages and a town close to Isle Esme. The exotic beauty and the serenity of the place were divine.

And then there were other days, when we were so bold and loud and that we would put bunnies to shame. I learned that the marble counter tops in the kitchen were icy cold and it was better to put a towel on them before I plunked my flushed and aroused ass on top of it, impatient to melt into one with my eager man. Edward learned that the large kitchen table felt smooth and perfectly polished under his whole naked body as I sat on top of him with a genuine cowboy hat on! The look on his face was priceless. I no longer wondered why it only took me to bend down looking for something to have my husband behind me, ready to pound. Back home we had a family, jobs and hundreds of other things to do but I hoped and prayed that this hunger for each other, physical, emotional and intellectual, would never fade.

One night we lounged in a large bathtub together, sharing sweet, soft kisses and blowing foam in the air. We were in ideal mood for my wearing that special lingerie that I`d had ready for the wedding night. We left dim lights on and scattered some flower petals on the floor and the bed. And to this day I believe that it was the night when the magic happened… magic, because flying back to Seattle after the honeymoon, we were unaware that there was another someone coming home with us.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35 BPOV**

**THE NEXT TWELVE MONTHS **

**BABY BOOM**

"How is the French language practice going?" I pressed the phone receiver to my ear and asked my mother. She`d gone back to travel around Europe as soon as Edward and I came back from Isle Esme, all loved up, blissed out and ready to settle into our perfect little piece of forever.

"Oh, I don`t have your linguistic talent, honey, but it`s so beautiful here! I saw Paris and now I`m in the most stunning countryside, Bella. I keep thinking how much I would love to bring you all over here!"

"That`s wonderful, Mom. We`ll go there for sure at some stage."

"Great. How are my baby girls doing? I miss them terribly."

"They miss you too and keep asking for you, Mom. They`re excited about going back to school. Thank you so much again for taking such good care of them when we were away."

"Sweetie, it was my pleasure. It felt so good to have the girls close just like in old Phoenix times. And how are you and your _husband_?" She added with a giggle at the end.

"Perfect, Mom. I can`t imagine life getting any better than this."

…..

"Bella, do we need to bring the new forms in tomorrow?" My husband called from the living room when I put the phone down.

"Yes, love. Have you filled them out?"

"Aha. You can sign whenever you`re ready," he added.

I looked at the new school forms for the girls. Sophie and Rachel were "Cullens" now just like me, and Daddy proudly filled in the papers, putting our last name in the marked line in his elegant handwriting.

I felt a kiss on my temple and leaned into Edward`s broad chest.

"Mmmm, feels good," I murmured.

I could feel Edward smiling to himself while rubbing my back with one hand and holding me with the other. Another kiss was planted on top of my head.

"I love you, Mrs. Cullen."

A single chuckle escaped my mouth and I looked up at my beautiful man`s brilliant face, "I like when you say it. It`s a bit of a turn on actually."

"Oh, is it, _Mrs. Cullen_?" He dared.

"Yummy," I whispered desperately and while standing on my tip toes, I pulled his head down for a proper kiss.

"God, I`ll never have enough of this," he breathed out with his eyes only half open.

"Good, because this is just the beginning," I laughed.

"I`m looking forward to the rest of it," he smiled. "How`s Mom?"

"She`s OK. She`s flying back to Phoenix next week to sign the final documents and she`ll be a single woman again," I sighed.

"I don`t hear much relief in your voice, sweetheart."

"Well, she`s been loving all the traveling but it`s clear that reality is dawning on her now. At first she wanted to get away from it all, to clear her head. After next week she`ll have nothing to run from."

"And you`re worried that she`s been running from herself?"

"A bit, yeah. I know she isn`t a child and she`s perfectly capable of taking care of herself but she`s my Mom and I love her. I`m concerned."

"Of course you are, Bella," Edward held me tighter. "It will work out, you`ll see."

"I know it will. It`s just such a strange feeling when you see your parent vulnerable. It`s like our roles have been switched…"

"You know, I learned that sometimes when we don`t understand our parents or when they`re in a tricky situation, we need to become our grandparents."

"Wow, that`s quite profound."

"At the moment you are your Mom`s mother rather than her daughter," he stated.

"You`re absolutely right," I admitted. "When I was a child Renèe was more of a friend to me than a mother but obviously I knew that she still was the parent. I did the grocery shopping and I cooked a lot but when I had a problem at school, she was there for me. When a boy I liked didn`t notice me, my Mom could sense it and she cradled me as I cried. When I twisted my ankle and it swelled up within seconds, I didn`t drive myself to the ER, my Mom did. And she was so incredibly supportive when I was pregnant with the girls and after they were born. I think I`m just not used to seeing my Mom as the one needing help and support."

"I don`t think we ever think of our parents as simply human beings, weak sometimes."

"Uhm."

"I see people our age or younger, bringing their parents to hospital after a stroke or a heart attack or even for a simple procedure in my ward. It`s heartbreaking to watch what it does to some executive in a suit and a tie, with a company on his shoulders, a cell in his hand, a million dollar contract waiting to be signed, as he hangs his head by his sick father`s bedside."

"I don`t even wanna imagine that," I shivered.

"Your Mom is going to come out a winner, Bella. We`ll be there for her and support her decisions, that`s all we can do."

"Thank you, love. She`s sending you lots of French kisses by the way."

"French kisses?" Edward raised his eyebrows.

I smacked him lightly on the chest, "I meant kisses from France!"

"Oh, I get it now," he laughed and proceeded, yet again, to demonstrate a kiss to me, a French one no doubt. ; -)

…..

Since I began working part time, I went back to writing my own short stories after my office hours, and did so quite enthusiastically. Jack Newton insisted on reading the finished product whenever it was ready and I felt a little smug at the thought that I could possibly be a published author at some unspecified time in my life.

I liked collecting the girls from school myself most days, and being at home when Edward came from work. Given his irregular work hours and my constant hunger for his presence, I felt grateful that my schedule was more flexible.

Kate, having finished her studies and completing her exams was looking for a job all the while organizing her wedding. Jessica and Mike dropped a bomb informing us that their own wedding was by all means happening, but it would take place after the christening of their first child! Jack was over the moon and I prayed to be able to share similar news with my family in the coming months. Falling pregnant on the first try years ago was nothing short of a miracle, especially given the circumstances of the conception. I didn`t know how it would be in this new, different reality though. Our cute cupcakes Rachel and Sophie prove that Edward`s little swimmers like my oven a lot, so I dared to believe that my body would nest another Cullen nudger as eagerly as it did with the girls.

…..

My thirty-third birthday came with a party, a cake and lots of singing and laughing. This time though I wasn`t desperate to show how mature and responsible I was, starting a new life with two toddlers on my own in a new city. This time my husband and I pulled two large tables together in the living room and set them to accommodate an extended group of guests. Oh, and it also came with a few announcements… ; -)

It was a Tuesday morning and after I had been "surprised" with a cake at the office, I humbly listened to a rather loud and joyous rendition of the birthday song by my colleagues, and sliced the delicious chocolate ganache for everyone.

"Have you told him yet?" Victoria leaned closer to me.

"Pardon?" I blinked my eyes.

"Have you shared your little secret with Edward yet?" She smirked at me.

I sighed deeply, "Tonight."

"OK."

"I`ll see you later at my house, OK?" I said to her.

"Half past five," she winked at me. "I`m looking forward to it, Bella."

"Great," I answered and placed a hand over my stomach to calm down the butterflies. Who would have thought that Bella Swan would be excited about a party! Well, Bella Swan may not have been too much of a party animal, but Bella Cullen had things to celebrate and she couldn`t wait to share what was on her mind with her nearest and dearest.

As I made the preparations, I kept going over my speech in my mind.

All the Cullens and the Whitlocks came first. Then we welcomed Maria and Riley along with baby Carmen; Victoria and James; Kate and Garrett; Gary Hobson with his wife and their children. Then came Edward`s friend Stefan with his girlfriend, and our neighbors Siobhan, Liam and Maggie. My Mom decided that flying around the world is the new best thing and just after returning to Phoenix from France, she signed the documents finalizing her divorce from Phil and packed her bags for Seattle. As crazy as I thought it was, I was glad that she missed us and chose to come see her family again instead of taking off in the opposite direction of the world. I also found it consoling that she knew where love and support for her laid and followed that calling. My Dad arrived alone this time, without Jacob`s family as Leah was feeling very tired had been advised to take it easy with the pregnancy this time round.

As the delicious scents of the foods spread around the table and the glasses filled with wine, I stood up.

"If I may say a few words," I smiled at the faces around me. "In advance, I do apologize for the lack of humor in this monologue," I chuckled and some faces turned to Emmett who bowed smugly in acceptance.

"Last year, the night before my birthday, I took a solitary walk and wondered if there was an Edward Cullen out in the world for me. I had met Edward twice beforehand and couldn`t get him out of my mind."

"Remind us how you met, Bella," Kate prompted with a cheeky grin.

"Well, I`ll try to keep it short. Kate here," I nodded towards the smiling brunette, "chipped her tooth while in my house and needed an immediate visit at the dentist`s. It was a late Friday evening and most practices were closed. I was new in town and didn`t have a dentist yet, so I phoned a few people in the area while Kate hopped around in pain. I was close to tears myself because nobody was answering the phone when finally the receptionist at Dr. Hamidovic`s office picked up and informed me that of course, I could bring the patient, however Dr. Hamidovic was out of town and Dr. Edward Cullen was taking the patients instead…"

"Woohoo! Yeah!" Emmett bellowed and Riley and Gary burst out laughing somewhere beside him.

"Unaware that the world was shifting, I sped down the road with Kate and fifteen minutes later we were about to meet Dr. Cullen."

"Go on, go on," Alice tapped her fingers on the table and got a nod from her oldest brother.

I blushed and continued. "And then… Emmett, get ready for this," I raised my voice dramatically, "I saw him."

"Wow," my brother-in-law whispered jokingly and the guests giggled.

"I saw him, I heard him and something in me, _against_ the rest of me, didn`t want to let go. Driving home, Kate was blissed out with anesthetics and I was flying high with Edward`s face fresh in my memory. I doubted myself and tried to erase the effect that the sweet encounter had on me, but life had other plans. Barely thirty something hours later I met Edward at the zoo where I went to spend the day with Alice and Hugo. I had no idea that my new friend and `the hot doctor` were siblings. As you all know, more of the unexpected followed in the coming months," I smiled at Sophie and Rachel. "So when I took that walk before my birthday party last year, when most of us here met for the first time by the way," I said scanning the faces of all the Cullens around the table, "I had shivers imagining myself in the arms of this random Edward Cullen type of man, but I didn`t suspect that I was destined to be with the real deal, _the _Edward Cullen himself," I finished the sentence directing a smile at my husband.

I got a sexy wink and a twinkle in his eye in response and then I looked look at my guests again.

"Did you know that Edward kissed me for the first time last year on my birthday?"

"No!" Alice gasped in awe.

"He did," I laughed and touched my face. "He walked me home, dangling my shoes in his hand and then he kissed me on the cheek."

"That`s so sweet!" Rose squeaked with a giggle.

"I felt like I was seventeen again. I guess if you`re that kind of a girl, then you want to feel like that no matter how old you are," I laughed.

…..

"Did you have a good time?" Edward asked me when we were alone again.

"I did. It was great to see everyone. But today it`s not only my birthday; it`s our one month wedding anniversary. Can you believe it`s been a month already?"

"It`s been one of the best months of my life, Bella."

"There`s something I need to tell you, honey," I smiled and took his hands.

As he returned the smile, I swear his eyes darted to my stomach for a split second.

"What is it?"

"I`ve known for the past few days. I hope you`ll be as happy as I am…"

"Please?" He squeezed my hands eagerly.

"Some time ago I edited and published a couple of picture books by an Italian author. She wrote those in English in hope of entering the English language market."

"OK?"

"She also wrote a series of six books for preteens, a bit of a fantasy and adventure thing. They are written in her native language and an Italian television station is currently casting young people who will portray those characters in a tv series."

"Right."

"English speaking publishers are itchy to get their hands on those books and of course there was a little contest between translators…"

The corners of Edward`s lips twitched and raised a tiniest bit.

"Jack persuaded me to send a sample of my translation to the author as well and –"

"She chose you," he concluded for me.

"Yes, she did," I admitted and shivered with excitement.

"Oh my God, Bella, that`s so amazing! Fantastic, awesome! Baby, I`m so, so proud of you," he finished lifting me off the floor for a hug, then setting me back down, twisting a finger in my hair and kissing me softly on the forehead.

"Thank you, but I haven`t given my answer yet."

"What?" He frowned, with a shadow of joy still on his features. "Why? What`s stopping you? You`re going to knock it out of the park, Bella."

"I just wanted to talk to you about it first. It`s a great opportunity for me and I would love to give it a try, but it means I would be busy for some time, really busy."

"Bella, we can do it," he stated seriously. "I know that Kate will be gone sooner or later, but we can find another person to look after the children when we`re working. God, I`d gladly stay at home myself for some time if it came to it!"

I had to laugh at the image of Edward the Housewife. After a few seconds though I realized that he meant every word he`d said. It melted me.

"Honey, I appreciate it, but there really won`t be a need for that."

"_Won`t _be?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said _won`t_ _be_ and not _wouldn`t be_. So it means -"

I bit my lip and nodded. "I want to do it."

"That`s my girl!" He dazzled me and cupped my face with soft, warm hands. "It`s excellent news, Bella."

"Good. But tell me, wasn`t there a moment when you thought I had a different kind of news for you?"

I looked at him boldly and he… blushed. Edward blushed!

"There was a tiny one –" He began but I cut him off with a kiss.

"Practice makes perfect, remember? Shouldn`t it be the other way round; me getting impatient and desperate, and you holding back and telling me that it`ll happen at the right time?"

He broke into laughter. "We started the family in a very untraditional way, so maybe we`re not such a typical couple? But it`s OK, isn`t it?"

"It`s more than OK," I winked at him.

"When will you let that author know about your decision? When are you starting to work on the books?"

"I`ll call her tomorrow. We`ll need to meet to discuss the plot, the characters and the general atmosphere of the series. I might even have to go to Italy for a few days."

…..

My call to Gianna the next morning was met with wonderful enthusiasm. The butterflies in my stomach did an energetic cha-cha as I envisioned myself immersed in the new world of adventure with a bunch of ten-year-olds by finding treasure, being helped by fantasy creatures and all the while discovering themselves as people and learning the meaning of friendship, honesty, strength of one`s character amongst other life values at the same time. It could be a good learning experience for me as a parent and also it made me excited to think that in a few years` time Sophie and Rachel would be able to read these books to themselves, and their Mommy`s name would be printed as the one of the translator of the original work. Would they enjoy the stories? Would they jump into the world of imagination? Would my words be able to invite them into the magical places where time ceases to exist, when you`re reading?

At the end of the conversation both Gianna and I were eager to meet up and begin to work together. I agreed to visit her in Italy, to see the places that she pictured when she was writing and meet the six young members of her family and their friends whose looks, personalities and traits had been the templates for the heroes in "Dietro la porta blu".

Just five weeks after getting married, with my honeymoon scenes still fresh in my mind, I packed a suitcase and kissed my husband and children goodbye for a week. My heart bled at the thought of leaving Rachel and Sophie again, but I was more than certain that they would have the time of their lives with Daddy.

As if I hadn`t already been tired enough lately, the jetlag hit me badly and for the first two days on the old continent I slept wherever and whenever I got a chance to. The weather was beautiful and the blazing sun was doing me good but I found it quite discouraging being apart from Edward and the girls. My meetings with Gianna and her Italian publisher were exceeding my expectations and one night in my hotel room I had begun working on the translations. That is, after I`d chatted and giggled over the phone to Seattle, trying to explain to my little angels that although it was only lunchtime back home, Mommy was actually already going to sleep. And later on I would get another call filled with sweet nothings that my gorgeous husband whispered to me, complaining how cold and empty our bed was without me. But his one million percent support meant the world to me and as I drifted off to sleep each night I made sure he was in my prayers.

One particular night as I tossed and turned in the bed with the sheets tangled between and around my legs, I was recollecting the day`s events when a text message from Alice came through.

`Hi sweetie, how are you doing over there in Bella Italia all alone? ; -) `

`Hi, sister! Business is going fantastic and this place is stunning but I`m feeling a bit lonely. How are you?`

`Wrecked. Bubble is teething and she`s quite cranky, can`t sleep at night. She`s down for a nap now so I`m in bed too. Have you noticed how dark her proper hair is? The blond baby fuzz is gone and now she looks much more like me than her Daddy : -) Jazz, Em, Edward and Dad took the big kiddos swimming, they`re having a blast!`

`So I heard; I talked to Edward and the duckies just now, before they jumped into the water. Poor Bubble and you, tired girls! I`m exhausted myself too. The wedding craze, different climate on Isle Esme and now another jetlag and trip across the globe have messed me up.`

`I getcha. Enjoy the last days. Em is constantly talking about the real Italian food that you must be trying now. I`m quite jealous myself ; -) `

`I`m getting Em a cook book! It`s all good but the seasoning or the spices must be too strong or something, especially on meat; I`m sensitive to it. And their cheese smells funny.`

`Oh, honey, I think you`re just really missing your crowd.`

_Two more days… And I`m right, I have been feeling unusual for some time. Nothing is wrong but I`m just… different. Is it marriage? Is it finally dawning on me that my life will never be the same again? Is this why I`m ecstatic about this new project but at the same time upset to the point of tears that I can`t fall asleep in my husband`s arms for a few nights? Is this why I`m basking in the sunshine while sipping cappuccino but wince at the smells of food that half of the world adores so much? It`s like I`m two people. Even my period is ridiculously late, like never before, except when I was expecting the girls a few years ago of course._

_My period is late…_

_Bella, your period is late, very late…_

_You`re constantly feeling as if you haven't slept a wink in days._

_Your olfactory sense is heightened and oversensitive, especially around meat, although you`re so hungry all the time that you could eat for two. _

_Eat for two… And I feel like I don`t belong to myself only anymore, like I`m two people…_

_Is it possible?_

_I never had symptoms like these a few years ago, but they say that each pr… each preg…_

_Am I pr…?_

_Oh my God!_

Morning couldn`t come fast enough. I bolted through the door of a pharmacy as soon as they opened and a while later I sat on the brim of the tub in the hotel bathroom, counting three hundred seconds that felt like forever.

_Two lines – pregnant, one line – not pregnant. OK, OK, OK…_

_C`mon, time, hurry up!_

Two strong blue lines.

_What was it again? Two lines – pregnant or not pregnant?_

_Pregnant._

_Alright, the second test. What does it say? Plus is pregnant, minus – not pregnant._

Big fat plus.

_Right. The last one. It simply says the word, so it should be easy._

`Pregnant`.

I gently lined the three tests on the counter and as carefully as humanly possible I lifted myself off the tub and stood face to face with my reflection in a full length mirror. I let my shaky hands fall lightly on my flat belly and my eyes clouded with moisture.

_Hello, my little one._ _How are you doing in there? Is it you that`s been making me tired and nauseous?_

Soothing peace overcame me when I realized that I hadn`t been alone on this trip and I hadn`t been away from my family completely. I had a piece of Edward with me all the time.

_Oh, baby. I can`t wait for you to meet your Daddy… He`s been waiting for you for such a long time, little bean. And you have two big sisters who will love you like no other, I promise! When we get back to Seattle we`ll go see a doctor to check how big you are and how long you`ve been in there, OK? But for two more days you`re going to be Mommy`s little secret… I love you, baby. So, so much! And you know, if you don`t like the smell of fresh lasagna at lunchtime today, it`s alright, we`ll sit outside and order something that doesn`t bother you. _

I still felt tired, but knowing the reason behind it made me smile anyway. I bought some gorgeous clothes and toys for Sophie and Rachel and I also found a wooden swan that matched perfectly the jigsaw of mother swan and two cygnets that Edward had given to me the previous Christmas. The one that I got was just a single swan and I was going to keep it for him till December. The gift from the current trip was obvious and I was curious and anxious to see his reaction to it.

I didn`t feel alone on the last night at the hotel. I talked to my tiny miracle for hours. I couldn`t be sure, but I imagined him as a boy. I sang to him, read to him and told him about his Daddy, his sisters, Grandmothers, Grandfathers, Aunts, Uncles and cousins who were going to be delighted with his arrival. But most of all, I told him how indescribably happy, blessed, humbled, and honored I felt that I was his Mommy and I would do all in my power to make sure that he had a good life.

…..

"Mommy!" I heard two girly voices several hours later.

"Well, well, good morning, my duckies. How are you doing? I missed you so much!" My God, was it good to see my two munchkins!

"Mommy, did you fly on a plane?" Sophie asked rubbing the sleep away from her eyes.

"I did. Mommy was on a plane when you were sleeping in your beds. Did you have a nice time with Daddy when Mommy was in Italy? Were you super good?"

"Yes, uhm," Rachel nodded.

"Great," I kissed her forehead. "I`m so glad to see you. Let`s have breakfast and you`ll tell me all about what you did in school and at home with Daddy, OK?"

"OK."

So we sat at the table eating pancakes with blueberries and I declined the deliciously smelling coffee that Edward had brewed. He looked at me curiously but I told him that I would be catching up on some rest after I dropped the girls off at school, so I didn`t want any caffeine to prevent me from sleeping. I hoped he didn`t notice my struggle to keep a poker face and avoid his eyes. I also hoped that my hands hovering over my abdomen wouldn`t raise any suspicion before I was ready to share my news with him.

"Honey, are you alright?" He whispered standing behind me as I was cleaning up after breakfast.

_Shoot, so much for secrets! He knows me too well._

"I`m great, love; just tired. I barely slept during the flight."

"OK," he smiled and kissed me below my ear. The unexpected caress tickled and made me squirm and giggle. I turned to Edward.

"See, that`s what I`m talking about," he said hugging me tightly. "I missed you like crazy, baby."

"Me too."

Edward wasn`t working till evening, so we brought our daughters to school together and then did grocery shopping on the way back.

He grimaced when he saw me opening my suitcase.

"Bella, leave the bags now. Take a rest and you can unpack later. I have some printing to do but then I wanna catch some sleep before work as well."

"I`m not unpacking. I just want to give you your gift."

He pressed a button on the printer and laughed to himself. "I`m a big boy, Bella, I can wait."

"No, you can`t. Not for this one," I answered, digging nervously in between my clothes in the bag. "Stay where you are for a moment though. I`ll tell you when I`m ready, OK?"

"Um… OK," he murmured sensually.

"Edward, I am NOT changing into new lingerie," I snickered, laughing to myself. "What I have is much better."

"Better than you in a sexy number?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"What`s so funny? I haven`t seen my new wife in a week and I`ve been feeling a little lonely."

"Are you finished with the printing? You can come here then," I said, hearing my own voice cracking.

"I`m here."

I saw his amused face and swallowed.

_Alright, little bean, here we go._

I opened my mouth to say all I had prepared to say, but nothing came out. Edward`s beautiful green eyes twinkled and my whole plan turned to dust. As I handed him the tiny soft package, I understood that no words were necessary. He searched my eyes, probably trying to figure out the reason behind my shuffling feet and slowly untied the white ribbon and then unfolded the plain white wrapping tissue paper, revealing the contents inside.

"A sock?" He wondered aloud but before his eyes reached mine for explanation, he knew.

His hand trembled when he picked up the single white baby sock.

"I have the other one," I stated simply.

"Honey…" He started with a whisper but the emotion caught in his throat.

I nodded and his tears began to spill.

"I also have the three tests that I took two days ago. I couldn`t wait to tell you –"

"I love you, Bella," he cut me off, cupping my face. "I love you and thank you. Thank you."

I disappeared in his embrace and felt soft his kisses pepper the top of my head. After a long moment I started chuckling and laughing against his chest.

"Come on now, you need to sleep," he suggested.

We lay down in silence, fully dressed, facing each other. I felt so wonderfully close to him. We simply looked at each other, examined each other`s faces, touched hands and smiled.

Eventually, I jokingly poked him in the chest with a finger, "You are going to be a daddy again, haha!"

_My Lord, I don`t need electricity in the house; his grin lights up the whole room! _

"I can`t believe we did it."

"You doubted us?" I asked.

"No, but it`s still a surprise and a relief," he smiled warmly.

"Relief? You`re thinking about Rose and Emmett?"

"Rose and Emmett as well, but mainly just about us. You know how it is, sometimes you can`t get what you want the most."

"And you wanted this baby?" I said, glancing at my abdomen.

He nodded with fervor. "I just wanted to be able to see you grow and be a part of the whole process."

I linked my hand with his and placed them on my stomach. We both let out a deep sigh.

"Hi, little bean," I mused. "See, we`re home and Daddy`s here. Can you feel Daddy`s hand? You`ll love them when you come out here to see us; Daddy has the warmest, most loving hands."

Edward watched me entranced.

"We talk a lot," I explained.

"So I see," Edward laughed. "You already have a strong connection."

"Oh, we do!" I answered Edward while rubbing my hand on my flat stomach. "Don`t we, little bean?"

"Little bean?"

"Well, he`s probably a size of a tiny bean now…"

"He?"

"C`mon, Edward," I laughed at his mocking me. "You know there`s no way of telling, but I picture him as a boy."

"It would bring some balance to the family of girls," he joked. "But if it`s a girl, I want her to know that she`ll be Daddy`s princess just like her sisters."

"I know," I smiled, caressing his cheek. "I can`t wait till Monday to go to the doctor and find out how far along I am."

"Who`s your doctor?"

"Makenna Randall."

"Makenna? Bella, she works in my hospital. I`ll call her and ask if she`s in tonight. If yes, then we won`t have to wait for you to go to her private practice on Monday. "

"Really?"

"Really," he nodded and kissed me on the nose.

"That would be great."

"No problem. If she`s not working at the ward tonight, we can choose someone else just for this one time to calm us down for the weekend and then Makenna can take it from there. Whatever makes you comfortable, baby. Or two babies; you and the little bean," he dazzled me again.

"We`re having a honeymoon baby."

"Uhm."

"I bet it was the feathers night."

_Oh, the feathers night… I put my skimpy lingerie on and Edward scattered flower petals on the floor and the bed. I laughed how cheesy and soap opera-ish it looked and he threw a pillow at me, with an `offended` pout. I threw it back at him and soon all the pillows and cushions were flying around the room. One got caught on the side of the night stand and when Edward picked it to flip it at me again, he pulled it and the pillow ripped, setting the goose feathers free. Since the damage was done, we laughed, sighed, gasped and moaned for the rest of the night on a bed of roses and a cloud of softness. It was beautiful. Getting that softness out of my hair the next morning was a whole different story though! But it was worth it ; -) _

"Nah," Edward protested. "It must have been the cowgirl afternoon."

I blushed and smacked him playfully on the chest, "You have a perverted mind."

"And you don`t?"

"It was the feathers night," I reassured him all the while beetroot red on the face from the memories.

"Aaaa… no. Cowgirl."

"You just like me on top."

"Sweetheart, I like you _any _and _every _way possible," he murmured, linking our foreheads and searching for my lips.

We were both on a high but somehow we managed to fall asleep for a couple of hours. Edward molded to me from behind and our hands rested on my stomach.

We didn`t want to bring Sophie and Rachel to the hospital with us, so when Edward left for work I stayed with them until they went to bed. Then I sneaked out of the house for two hours while Maggie watched a movie in our living room and the duckies enjoyed new adventures in Dreamland, unaware that there was another adventure awaiting them in real life, becoming big sisters.

Edward came down from his ward for a while and Dr. Randall performed yet another pregnancy test, along with weighing and measuring me, taking my blood, checking my medical history and talking about my previous pregnancy, before popping me onto the chair to measure if the little bean`s first accommodation was big enough and healthy. Edward was with me the whole time, both him and the doctor decoding the medical jargon for me any time I felt confused or unsure.

The hormone levels combined with maths predicted that I was five weeks along, so I must have conceived about halfway through the honeymoon. Edward whispered to me that if the baby is energetic and bouncy, then it means that he was right, it was the cowgirl, but if it`s calm and loves fluffiness, then I`ll win the bet with the feathers night. I reminded him that the shower sex amongst other times during the honeymoon, was pretty good and powerful too and finally got a nod of surrender. Our tiny angel was growing healthy and of course that was all that mattered, but we still liked to banter about it.

We agreed to wait for the actual bump to share the news with the girls, although the rest of the family found out earlier pre-bump, and they were over the moon happy for us.

A few weeks before Christmas, when my tight jeans became too tight to wear, Edward and I sat Rachel and Sophie down and explained to them that Mommy had a baby brother or a sister for them growing in her tummy. They pressed their small plump hands to my tiny bump and almost jumped out of their skin with joy. To them it wasn`t a result of complicated biological processes, it was simply magic. We pulled out the photo albums from the time of my first pregnancy and the girls` infancy and the girls looked and compared my size and asked five hundred questions an hour about what was happening inside me. Their teachers and classmates learned our news as soon as our cheeky monkeys entered the building the morning after we`d told them. It seemed as if the whole world around me was excited and waiting to see my miracle.

Edward was indescribable. He constantly touched my stomach, talked to the baby, played the piano and did hundreds of the smallest things that made me go all gooey and teary with joy. He asked about the ways my first pregnancy was the same or different from this one. I think he wanted to experience the two of them together in a way, or make up for his absence from me when I was expecting Rachel and Sophie. But more than anything, he was absolutely, completely, utterly and adorably proud of himself. It was simply cute.

…..

In no time it was Christmas. The senior Cullens went completely mad and apart from their kids and kids-in-law they also invited my parents, Rose`s mom and dad and Jasper`s parents. The place was buzzing with conversation and music. Edward guided Sophie and Rachel`s hands on the piano keys and we managed to recognize "Silent Night" in the sweet mess of sounds.

Engrossed in my private bubble of happiness I sat quietly in a plush armchair with a mug of warm apple juice and patted my abdominal protrusion. And then I felt someone`s eyes on me.

Rosalie.

She watched my maternal euphoria and for a second I felt like I was hurting her. But I was relieved to see that her sparkling eyes didn`t look frightened. She was spending the first Christmas with her children and nothing could spoil it.

She and Emmett were excited beyond words about this time. Their tree was the largest I`d ever seen in my life and their house was dripping with season`s decorations, a good number of them made by Lily and Henry themselves with just a little help from their parents.

Rose and Em`s frustrations and fears were fading quickly. They both looked younger, healthier and much more relaxed. They were open to life`s surprises again.

Right after dessert, when the children went to play, Rose asked if she could say a few words. Certain that she was going to go down the memory lane over the past few months, mentioning the move to Seattle, the opening of ECLIPSE and of course, Lily and Henry, the whole lot of us smiled and we thought `_right, here comes the speech`._ Well, it wasn't quite the speech we had expected.

Rose glanced at us all and while holding her husband`s hand she stood up and smiled nervously.

"We both have something to announce, but Emmett is letting me say it out loud alone…" she sighed and I heard her mom and Esme gasp. A million thoughts raced through my mind as Rose continued, "We are having a baby."

?

Edward was the first one who managed an utterance, "You mean, you`re thinking of adopting a baby? Is there a little one available?" He asked aloud what each one of us was only thinking.

Rose smiled the most glorious smile and through tears streaming down her cheeks she said loudly, "No, Edward, what I`m saying is that your brother knocked me up."

?

"I`m eight weeks pregnant and it`s been going perfectly."

Alice and I slapped our hands over our mouths. We were all stunned, nobody said a word for good fifteen seconds, before Rosalie`s mother stood up and raced over to hug her daughter.

And here I was, doing reliving Thanksgiving and counting how much had happened to us this year, not knowing that it wasn`t the end yet!

No wonder Rose and Emmett were as ecstatic as the kids! No wonder she glowed and wasn`t feeling threatened by my little bean; she had her own!

"Oh my dear Lord," escaped Alice`s mouth. "I seriously need to expand my maternity line for you two, girls!"

After we stopped laughing and Rose and I posed for a picture together, touching each other`s stomachs, I noticed Edward and Emmett exchanging the sweetest, warmest brotherly smile.

…..

The New Year rolled in and soon I was rolling like a ball as well, rounder and rounder with each passing week.

Rosalie could have written a book on how a healthy pregnancy should develop, because this time every single detail of the gestation had passed all tests with flying colors.

Alice kept her promise and showered us with beautiful outfits which not only worked for Rose and me, but also for Alice`s business since Rosalie and I were literally stopped on the streets by other expectant mothers to ask where we had bought the dresses, skirts, blouses and coats.

In the middle of January Edward and I went for a scan and learned that we were having a boy! Truth be told, I was just staring at the screen, trying to make a shape of a baby out of some grey blobs. My husband took a five second look at the screen and grinned to himself.

"That`s our son in there, sweetheart."

"Our son? Where?"

"Right here. See the head and the hand? Look, he`s waving at us!"

"OK. Yeah, I think I see that. And that thing beside him? Is that the other hand?"

"Um, no, Bella. These would be his boy bits."

"Oh."

Knowing the baby`s gender and feeling the first kicks made it all even more real to Edward. He would kiss my belly and have private chats with our son, often right up until I fell asleep.

Oh, and he loved _me_ pregnant. My growing breasts and overall roundness turned him on. The fact that he had `made the baby` woke up some kind of sensual beast in him. Not that I minded; seeing him so proud and acting all cavemanly made me feel sexy as hell and God, did I show him how I felt! If I ever worried that he wouldn`t find me attractive, that I was too big or too slow, I couldn`t be more wrong. At some point my whole body felt like one big erogenous zone. I really didn`t need much to begin squirming and wiggling like a worm, begging Edward to bring me release. He followed me like I was honey and he was Pooh Bear.

Meanwhile, Sophie and Rachel learned this new song in Alice and Jasper`s house and from the moment they opened their eyes in the morning till they closed them at night, all you could hear from them was "Tom tom tomato like a big red ball, basking in the sunshine by the garden wall…"

I have to say I wasn`t surprised when after having decided that we couldn`t call the baby Little Bean, no matter how cute that sounded, my husband and daughters put the name Tom on top of their lists.

Not long after, Rose and Emmett dropped another bomb on us, just before Easter. One morning they drove Henry to school and then brought Lily to Esme and Carlisle`s house. I was at home working but Edward had taken Rachel and Sophie out of school for the day and they also went to grandma Esme`s house to do some gardening. Each girl grabbed their small bag of sunflower seeds and they set off to sow them. It was the day of the scan for the little Cullen. Edward told me later that just before lunch Rose and Emmett came back, looking rather shocked. When they saw the fear on Esme`s face though, they assured her that all was good and handed her a picture, the first picture of her new grandchildren… Yes, grand_children_, as in two. There was going to be another set of twins in the Cullen family! Edward thinks that his brother grew even taller that day. After so many years of waiting and the crushing pain of losing children before, now life was paying them double for their trouble. We all prayed for everything to go well.

Lily and Henry were only slowly taking things in and getting used to their new life. Rose had taken some time off work to bond with Lily and Henry went to the same school as Hugo. They were in different classes, but still we thought that seeing his cousin and Alice and Jasper there in the morning and at collection time would make the transition easier. There were occasional hitting incidents in school and testing the waters at home, but in overall Henry was a great boy. To be honest, Sophie and Rachel had bigger offences on their accounts and they had been with me since their conception. Patience, understanding and being fair and natural were paying off.

Henry adored spending time with Emmett. He would tell his school pals how big and strong his Dad was. _His Dad_. Emmett beamed every time he heard the words. They would cook together, play wrestling and, what Henry loved the most, clean, fix and generally take care of the cars together. Henry also loved Hugo and Hugo seemed delighted to have another boy around to play with after school and on weekends. But when nights came, there was nothing more important to Henry than getting his fill of Mommy`s love. He often asked Rose to stay with him until he fell asleep and she obliged happily. What was also important, Henry was letting go of Lily, he had his own little world with school and friends and he was certain that his sister would bring him to school and pick him up together with Mom or Dad.

With Lily, it was a different kettle of fish. She lived in her fantasy world of fairies and princesses. Mommy was a princess and Daddy was a hero. She was cute and sweet and blossomed into the happiest little girl. She was younger than Henry and much more easily influenced. Her mom and dad showed her unconditional love and kindness and that`s what Lily lived. And she asked Rose every day to bring her to Alice`s to see Charlotte.

And now Rose was expecting… Lily was over the moon. Rosalie and Emmett kept the twin factor to themselves for a while; they thought that the idea of one other child in the house was enough to have to digest. At the beginning Lily didn't believe that there was a baby in Rose`s tummy and if she was patient, she was going to have a little brother or a sister in her house, just like Auntie Alice had Charlotte. She kept checking on Mommy`s tummy which was funny and sweet to watch. All of a sudden, no matter where we were, Lily would pull up Rose`s top to touch her swelling stomach with her small hands. She loved the skin to skin contact.

Henry was apprehensive to start with. He remembered a similar situation when one of the children in the orphanage was going to be adopted but when the future parents discovered that they were expecting their own baby, they lost interest in him. Luckily for the boy, another couple who had two other adopted children already, added him happily to their family.

Nevertheless, Henry was thought to be just jealous of Rose`s growing stomach. But then incidentally, two days after he learnt the news, one of his `Aunts` from the home called in for a visit to check how the children were doing. Henry must have thought that now, when there was a baby on the way, he and his sister would be sent away and `Aunt Zaf` was there to arrange that. He took one look at her and ran away with an ear-splitting scream.

At the time Emmett was in the back yard and didn't know what had happened, but he dropped what he was doing and raced after his son and caught him before Henry could hurt himself. He held the boy tightly. Henry`s little body had no chance against Emmett`s strong arms, but he fought hard trying to break free. Rose and Zafrina stood in the French door and looked at the scene, terrified. Emmett waved at his wife and she understood that he was going to deal with Henry himself. A few minutes later, after Henry`s body felt limp and his screams had receded to heart-breaking cries, Emmett placed Henry on the grass, sat opposite the boy and holding his hands asked what had upset him so much. Through his sobs Henry managed to say that Mom was having a baby and he and Lily would have to go with Aunt Zaf and he didn't want to leave.

Emmett shouted `WHAT?`.

He looked into Henry`s blue eyes and as seriously and loudly as he could, he told him that he was Henry and Lily`s Dad and there was absolutely nothing and no one in the world that could take them away. Aunt Zafrina was here only to tell them how happy she was that he and Lily were going to have a baby brother or a sister to play with. Emmett used Hugo as an example; nobody took him away when Charlotte arrived. Henry never saw Alice pregnant though, so that didn't play out as well as Emmett thought. The only memory of such situation that Henry knew was his own. After his little sister was born, they were both dumped.

Emmett wondered how much Henry could possibly remember from that time. Not the event itself, but the feeling of abandonment was engraved into his son`s heart. Emmett crushed Henry`s body into his chest and wondered how had he ever lived without this beautiful young soul in his life before. After almost half an hour Emmett managed to persuade Henry to come back into the house. Henry was carried inside by his father, they both went into the bathroom to wash their dirt and tear stained hands and faces and then he climbed into Emmett`s arms again as they entered the living room where Rose and Zafrina sat talking. Lily was playing with her baby doll beside her Mom and Aunt, but when she saw her brother still shaking and clutching Emmett`s shirt, she instinctively let go of her toys and clambered onto Rose`s lap, her eyes growing anxious. Rosalie kissed her daughter`s hair and Emmett winked at his little girl. Zafrina watched the whole scene with a gentle smile. Unprompted, Henry apologized for shouting and even exchanged a few sentences with her. She congratulated the family on the baby news and said goodbye. Only when her car disappeared from view, Henry let go of Emmett and Lily relaxed in Rose`s embrace. That night they explained to their children all over again that they were always going to be their mommy and daddy and they loved them more than anything in the world. Later on, as the adults watched the two little sleepy heads in their beds, they thought that they might have gotten it all wrong, it wasn't them who made the decision, it wasn't them who chose. Instead _they_ were the chosen ones, Henry and Lily chose them, Rose and Emmett as Mommy and Daddy.

Zafrina only came by once more, just before the birth of the twins, but this time Henry was too busy cooking lunch with his Dad to even notice her presence. He had so many new experiences and memories, the old ones were fading and mattered less and less with each passing day…

At the beginning of May, Sophie and Rachel turned into mature four-year-olds and our Thomas Edward was born on the twenty ninth of the same month. His Daddy was there to hold my hand and he was the first to embrace our boy. The purest love and total devotion on my husband`s face when he held Tom was one of the most amazing sights imaginable.

I remembered when fourteen months earlier I paced outside the delivery room with the rest of the family awaiting Charlotte and now it was Alice who bounced around the corridor, running out of patience to see her new nephew.

My dad didn`t see Rachel and Sophie until they were a few weeks old after they were born, so now when Edward placed wrinkled Tom in Charlie`s arms, I couldn`t help but let out a few tears seeing the emotion on my father`s face. And I swear something moved in my mom, too.

…..

It was wonderful to have a beautiful, trusting little body in my arms again. After the frantic life with the twins, when I didn't know what to do first, caring for Thomas felt like being on holidays. Besides, I had three helpers. Rachel and Sophie had each other, so there was no jealousy, nobody felt dethroned. Instead both girls sang to Tom when he was cried, got the diapers and bottom cream ready when he needed to be changed and loved watching him kick his little legs in the bath. Oh, and they had a ball getting his outfits ready for him every day; Alice`s influence, anyone?

Edward, for a change, found it particularly interesting and enticing to watch me nurse. I would sit on the couch with our son close to my chest and Edward watched silently as Tom and I looked into each other`s eyes while he sucked the warm milk and his tiny hand rested on the bare flesh of my breast. His father was mesmerized. I was somehow unreachable to him in those moments, like I wasn't his. One day he shyly mumbled that he was wondering if he could taste my milk…

So, when all the children were in bed, I let him do it. He liked it. At first I laughed and asked him to leave some for our baby, but then I felt he tip of his tongue on my hard peak and almost lost it. Edward pulled back, our eyes met and we both knew that we would be climbing up the walls, waiting for the standard six weeks no-sex policy to be over. And when it _was_ over and we got the green light from our doctor, the first time we were together again I swear I blacked out for a moment, it felt so intense. All my pregnancy and post-pregnancy feelings and emotions, the joy of having our baby, very much together this time, and Edward`s interest, involvement and tenderness not only towards me, but to our family, had me bursting with love for him and new gates opened in me.

Our little bean was almost two months old when one night Edward read a text message from Emmett. Rosalie was in labor. I made Edward promise to keep me posted, and he was out the door.

Finally, at nine o`clock in the morning I opened a message with photographs of two new little hopes for the world. Underneath Edward added, `Hi, Auntie Bella. We`re Lucy and Peter! We were born big, strong, healthy and loud. Come to see us when you can!`

_My gosh, of course I`ll come to see you, Lucy and Peter!_

In the evening Carlisle came to stay with Tom for a while and I scrubbed the girls cleaner than ever and we went to see the new babies.

"Look, Bella, look!" Lily pulled at my sleeve, pink on her cheeks with excitement. "This is my baby sister and that`s my baby brother!"

"I have a baby brother too!" Rachel stated the obvious. You know, just in case.

I had to laugh when Edward held Lucy and Peter started crying in the crib. Automatically, my husband`s head turned to the rest of us in the room for assistance. And then his eyes fell on me.

"You were wondering what it was like with twins. Now you have it," I said.

The tiny sweeties joined the baby boom club as they became number four and five born to our circle of family and friends this year, after Leah and Jacob`s baby girl; Jessica and Mike`s boy, and of course our Tom-Tom.

Mike was also best man at his father`s wedding to Chelsea. I was sorry that I couldn`t go to Phoenix to witness Jack binding himself to the woman he loved, but it was too soon after Tom`s birth. But we got plenty of photos!

Our Kate, whose wedding Edward and I were attending just after our first anniversary was settled into her new accounting job but looked longingly at the girls and Tom and I suspected that she would be going for it sooner rather than later ; -)

Riley and Maria informed us that they couldn`t decide on their wedding. There was so much to organize, so much to prepare… So in May they eloped! Shortly before Tom was born, they went away for a long weekend and came back married! They were determined to provide a sibling for Carmen and seeing how much they were into each other, I had no doubt that Mother Nature would sprinkle some magic dust over their loving soon enough.

And of course we had Victoria and James. Yes, James popped the question and now his fiancèe was eyeing wedding gowns.

I often joked that something must have been added to the water or the air and it activated some `bunny gene` because we all at it like rabbits, no offense to little furries!

My own proof that love makes the world turn round grew healthily and I was the happiest woman, especially when watching him in his father`s arms. There was nothing that Edward wouldn't do for Tom. He was patient and sweet and even late night cries didn't put him off. He was used to being suddenly awoken in the middle of the night at the hospital, so it didn't make much difference to him.

I was proud when one day our `Tom-Tom` directed his first conscious smile at Edward, and Daddy beamed with satisfaction. That same evening, when I was feeding the little one, he was sucking the milk and I told him that he made his daddy very proud in the morning. And Thomas winked at me! Well, it was probably only a tic, but I saw what I wanted to see and to me it was a playful `ain`t-I-a-clever-boy` wink. So Edward and I were even.

As soon as I stopped breastfeeding and wasn't the only one who knew how to hold a bottle, we took turns at night and Edward never missed his, so they had plenty of opportunities to share smiles, winks and jokes.

Literally days before we welcomed Tom into the world, I finished translating the last of the six books of the "Behind the Blue Door" series. They were going to be published before Christmas and I was getting nervous and excited.

My mom, although she liked travelling, decided that seeing all the beautiful places around the globe alone wasn`t that much fun, so she was waiting for her grandbabies to grow big enough to see the world with her ; -) Edward suggested one day that she should sell the house in Phoenix and move to Seattle. She`d be close to us, close to her new bestie Esme and she could pop to Forks to see her old friends whenever she wished. Given that my mother used to be a Swan and as I know from personal experience, Swan girls find Cullen boys rather irresistible, she admitted that she`d been entertaining the idea for a while and would consider it for real now that we supported it. I had a sneaky suspicion that it wasn't `us` but Edward`s opinion alone that sealed the deal.

We were letting go of the old and making room for the new and better.

We were healthy, striving to be happy and ready to lend a helping hand.

We had big plans and huge dreams for the future.

Most of all, we were together.

Life was good.


	36. Chapter 36

**Hi there! It`s been an awfully long time, I know… It`s a giant a** chapter, the longest I`ve written, but there was no way I could cut it in half. It`s different and it may seem packed with events… well, it is, because it covers a whole five years of the characters` lives. **

**Bethroann, thank you for beta-ing, you`re the best, darling!**

**Enjoy : -)**

**Chapter 36 BPOV**

**AS FIVE YEARS GO BY…**

My Mom made a brave decision and exchanged the house in Phoenix for an apartment in Seattle. She also got herself a long haired cat which Sophie and Rachel called Mr. Buttons. The girls often asked for Grandma to pick them up from school and bring them to her place so they could feed and play with their pet. They also still had a soft spot for Esme and Carlisle`s dogs Suzie and Jamie and sometimes I thought that maybe when Tom got older, we would get a four legged of a feathered family member.

I tip toed back to our bedroom to find it dim, with only night lights and a few candles lit up.

"Wow," an unexpected gasp escaped my lungs. "Very romantic. What`s the occasion?" I asked as I scooted over to bed and settled beside Edward.

"Well, do I need a special reason to do something romantic for my wife?"

I squinted momentarily, thinking of some underlying motive.

"We haven`t lit candles in a long time," I said sentimentally while he pressed my back closer to his chest and linked his hands with mine across my abdomen. And then it hit me what his hidden agenda might be so I continued. "I`ve been falling asleep no later than half past nine lately, I know it doesn`t exactly give us much time for each other, I`m sorry about that, love."

Edward wrapped his arm around me closely. "Don`t say that, Bella. You are a wonderful mom and an amazing wife. There`s nobody like you," he continued and I sank deeper into his warmth.

"I feel great as a woman, Edward. You show me love and affection every day. But I admit, as much as I love being a mom, it`s tiring at times and I find myself dreaming of an hour or two when I could take a nap or read more than two pages of a book without being interrupted. God, I`m sorry, I`m blabbering. You know it`s not your fault though, don`t you? Because I am really happy with our home and children."

"I know you are and I can assure you that I know it`s not about me. I`m a big boy and I understand how much effort goes into running a home with three young children and a husband who works irregular hours and not only does night shifts but when he gets home he catches up on sleep himself. We`re in this together, Bella. I realize how much you do and I want you to know how much I appreciate it," he declared and planted a heartfelt kiss on top of my head. "I thought about it and I have an offer for you."

"An offer?" I cocked my head to look him in the eyes.

He smiled and twirled a strand of my hair around his finger. "How would you like to have a whole evening off once a week? I mean, from lunchtime on?"

"Wh-?" I shook my head in confusion.

"Once a week, on a day of your choice you could either stay at home in bed or go out for a walk, see a movie, meet a friend, read a book in a coffee shop for five hours straight…"

"Edward –"

"I talked to my parents, Siobhan, Maggie and Kate and they`re all happy to help. It`ll be either me or one of the people who we like and trust to take over from you for a few hours."

"So I could take a breather?"

"Exactly. You know well that taking some time for yourself doesn`t mean that you`re a bad mom."

I smiled with a sigh. "I know, but what about us? What if I wanted us to go out together?"

"Our dates remain untouched. What I`m saying is, for me work and home are two different places, two different worlds, but for you it`s all the same. You never switch from work to home, it`s all the same," he finished with a shrug.

"I appreciate it, Edward," I said with a clutch in my throat. "It sounds liberating and it looks like you`ve done a lot of preparation in order for me to say yes. I mean, you talked to your parents and other prospective sitters."

"Well, Kate said she`d love to be able to catch up with the girls on a regular basis and get to know Tom better, the same with our neighbors. And my parents… I don`t need to explain it to you. And I`ll be here too."

I have to say, my mind filled with glorious images of long, solitary walks, sitting in the library for as long as I wished or even trying on clothes in a store in peace. It felt good.

"We could maybe try it next week?"

"Whenever you wish, love. I just want you to know that you have options."

"Thank you. May I offer a suggestion of my own? Could we do this," I pointed my chin around the room, "more often? I know that long sexy nights can pose a challenge with me given my new bedtime at the moment, but I miss us, Edward."

"Oh, God, Bella," he sighed deeply and brought me closer to him still, if closer was possible. "This is what I`m trying to accomplish. I miss us, too."

"Edward, do you feel pushed away? Please, be honest with me. I know that women have tendencies to switch into the mommy mode for a long time and their partners may feel like the baby is getting all the attention."

Edward sighed again and placed his head on my shoulder. "Well, yes and no. No, I don`t feel unimportant, I understand what caring for a small baby entails. Also, as a physician I get the whole hormonal change thing going on with you as a woman. Plus I love our children as much as you do and wouldn`t change a thing."

"And what`s the `yes` part?"

"While I don`t go through the hormonal changes associated with child bearing, lactating and caring for an infant and as much as I understand it all, like most men I can be pretty vain and attention craving."

"I getcha," I laughed. "You just want these boobies to yourselves!"

"Something like that," my husband joined me in laughter. "Or a fair share. Don`t get me wrong, Bella, I am a ridiculously happy man –"

"I understand. You want us to be able to talk and do something apart from Mommy and Daddy stuff. And if I get more time for myself, I`ll read more, sleep more, generally speaking pamper and indulge myself from time to time, you will reap the rewards, am I right?"

"I believe we _both_ will gain a lot, but in the light of this conversation, yes, you`re right."

"I love you, you… you perfect, amazing, wonderful man, you!" I laughed and kissed him soundly.

"I love you too," he mumbled against my lips.

Two weeks later I shared my husband`s idea for keeping me happy with Rose and Alice. We ended up discussing how to keep romance alive in a relationship that involved paying bills and raising children.

Apart from a completely free evening once a week we also had a truly wonderful babysitter Gina who came twice a week for about three hours so I could give undivided attention to Sophie and Rachel. We would go to the park or meet Daddy outside the hospital for lunch, or we`d simply stay at home but play games that the girls chose to play, without an attention demanding baby around.

And I really loved the idea that Edward and I came up with to reconnect intimately. We chose to light up a particular candle to signal that we needed to spend a while together. If Edward had a tough day at work and wanted to share with me without involving the kids, he`d light that candle and I knew that after the children went to bed, he and I would sit down and have a chat. If something important happened to me, I did the same. I`d light the candle and knew that when we were alone, Edward wouldn`t start reading a newspaper but make some tea and hold me on the couch. And then of course, there were times when we smiled and looked at each other in a way that could only mean one thing, we would make sure that the baby monitor was on, and close the door to our bedroom for some sexy adult time.

"Jasper and I have picnics in bed," said Alice.

"Picnics in bed?" Rose and I asked in unison.

"Yes," Alice laughed. "It all began some time ago when Hugo and I got stuck in the house due to heavy rain. I decided to make a picnic at home. We put a large blanket on the living room floor and brought sandwiches, lemonade and cookies, and we read books lying on the blanket and pretending that we were out in the green. We still do it sometimes but Jasper suggested that he and I do it in our bed when the kids are gone to bed. So we spread that huge blanket on the bed, bring food and drinks and we talk and laugh, listen to music, read poetry, drink wine and fool around."

"Nice!" Rosalie`s eyes shone brightly.

"I love the picnics," Alice nodded. "Recently Hugo began to squirm away when he sees Jasper and I kissing, so you should see his face when he sometimes comes into our bedroom in the morning and sees the blanket along with some plates and wine glasses on the floor after one of our picnics. He looks at Jasper and I and says `Were you kissing again last night?` And he makes this funny disgusted face, it`s hilarious."

All three of us burst out laughing. Poor Hugo doesn`t know that the kissing is the least `problem`, bless his little innocent soul.

"Oh gosh, that is so funny," Rose wiped a tear from her face. "I`m just waiting for Henry to come up with this stuff too."

"Oh yeah, " Alice said expertly, "It won`t be long now, kids grow up early these days. But speaking of romance, have I told you about the love letters?"

"No," I shook my head. "Jasper and you wrote love letters to each other?"

"Yes. Every week actually."

"Wow, who would have thought?" I let out.

"I know! So, we started this tradition a long time ago. Once a week we send each other a love message. It can be found in a mail box or as an e-mail. Sometimes it`s a quote on a nice card, sometimes a short note saying `I loved you in that blue dress yesterday` or `You handled that situation so well the other day`. It can be a picture or a CD with some specific song or an elaborate love letter. We do it for each other and try to come up with something different each week. Once as I was leaving home for work I picked an envelope with my name on it from our mail box and was excited about what I would find in it this time. I couldn`t wait till lunchtime to open it. So I sat down in a corner of a little restaurant and ripped the envelope eagerly… And after a few words I was grateful that I`d chosen a secluded place because the message turned out to be a long and detailed description of a really naughty fantasy that my husband had about me! I got sucked into it and my imagination flashed images through my head and only at the end of the first page did I realize that I was burning hot and emitting quite suggestive sounds to myself! Thank god the place was busy and only one guy was watching me from across the room."

"Oops," I joked.

"Now, the question is," Rose lifted her finger theatrically with seriousness in her voice, "did you do it?"

"Do what?" Alice inquired.

"The fantasy," her sister-in-law continued with her face breaking into a daring smile. "Did you… um, follow the instructions, so to speak…"

"Down to a `t`," Mrs. Whitlock enunciated every word.

I blushed and Rose looked smug.

"It was the first but definitely not the last letter of that type, let me tell you!" Alice added with a big Cullen wink.

"Oh my god, professor Jasper Whitlock!" I said to myself, invisibly swatting away an image of the man diving his nose in his wife`s … instead of historical books.

"And we thought we knew these two," Rose agreed with me.

"Hey, how about you and Emmett? You`ve been too quiet, my lady! And it`s actually you two in the family who have been known for being laud and frisky!" Alice turned to Rosalie, making sure her sister-in-law knew that she had Alice`s full attention. "And I`m not talking babysitters taking over from you so you can take a walk. I want to know how you and my brother keep it going. Spill!"

"Well, OK," Rose bit her lip. "Apart from what you know we go out on a date twice a month but a recent thing that we did was staying out for the night."

"?"

"Esme and Carlisle minded the kids and Em and I went out and stayed in a hotel for the night. We had a meal and then went upstairs," Rose`s voice slowed down and lowered as she remembered the events. "We took a bath together and… well, didn`t exactly go to sleep for another few hours…" she finished beet red on her face. "We loved it. It happened about two weeks ago and I got shivers every time I thought of it for about a week."

"Well, you`re blushing even now, so it must have been quite special," I said.

"For so many years I tried and tried to imagine myself as a mother and now that I have it all, there`s this new me coming out. We had always been pretty passionate and highly sexual but a part of me just kept thinking that all that lovemaking would lead to conceiving a baby. Now I can let go of that need completely and in some ways I feel like I can just be a woman, fully. When I`m with Emmett, there`s nothing else on my mind anymore, even in the slightest. Em used to feel guilty and for no reason he felt like it was his responsibility for us to conceive although there was no medical issues in neither of us. So we both feel such an incredible difference now. He told me that he`d never imagined that it could be any better than what we had so at the moment we`re discovering and feeling things so much deeper and it makes us both so alive."

"Rose, that`s so beautiful," Alice said and I nodded in agreement. "You so deserve it, both of you. Are you going to do it again?"

"Yes, we`re gonna go away for the night once a month. We were great friends in pain and sorrow and now we realize that we`re also best friends in joy."

"This is the loveliest thing I`ve heard in a long time," I said.

"Thank you," Rose smiled in return. "There`s another thing that we do. After Lucy and Peter were born Emmett insisted that I walk him to the door every morning as he left for work, and share a kiss. And when he came home later, he would always find me wherever I was and give me a kiss again. At first it almost annoyed me. There I was, children running around, two tiny babies in my arms, my hair in a mess, my eyes only half open, my nursing bra leaking, and he, washed and dressed up to the nines, wanted me to give him a kiss by the door! If I didn`t like kissing him I would have thought that he was trying to make me into a Stepford wife. But after about two weeks I noticed that began to make sure that I had brushed my teeth and combed my hair before that moment at the door. I found myself waiting for that kiss and it made me more aware that temporarily I was this milk producing, diaper changing machine, but my husband still loved and wanted me. These days Em watches the babies in the morning for fifteen minutes while I wash and dress before he leaves for work and brings Henry and Lily to school. I wouldn`t have done it had he not insisted on that silly little thing of a kiss by the door. I start my day feeling better about myself and Lucy and Peter have a happier Mommy around."

I slipped into my new routine with glee. My days were still filled with caring for the family and the house and squeezing some work time between cooking, cleaning, diaper changes and school collections but knowing that I could light a candle and have Edward listen to what I wanted to share with him was reassuring. I also didn`t feel overwhelmed when Tom was asleep and I chose to catch up on some chores instead of finishing some reading or writing. I knew that I would have one evening all to myself and will have plenty of time to enjoy whatever I wished to do and without a single thought about the laundry or ironing.

When Esme or Kate were staying with the children, I knew that no matter how many times I told them to ignore that stuff, I`d come home to the washing done, dry clothes folded and put away and the children washed, bathed and fresh. When it was Edward`s turn, he would press the start button on the washing machine but that was about it; he`d get caught up in games with the little ones, take them out to the park to roll in the grass or they`d go for dinner to ECLIPSE, and on rare occasions when I got back home late, he would have fallen asleep together with the kids. Did I mind? Not one bit. I would kiss the little faces and nudge the biggest kid to wake up and move to our bed.

Life was busy and I had to stop and pinch myself often to appreciate what I had. Depending on Edward`s shift at work, in the morning he or I would bring Rachel and Sophie to school and then Tom and I followed our own routine where we played tickle, took walks, did grocery shopping, had lunch together and I worked a little as my baby boy slept. We also loved visiting Auntie Rose; Tom squeaked with delight whenever he saw Lucy and Peter. They would roll around on a play mat together, giggle, drool and make all sorts of funny, baby noises.

Our little Tom-Tom was growing healthily and quickly. He loved attention and was a bright and playful little bunny. The mornings were pretty quiet unless we were going to see someone or somebody was visiting us, and I enjoyed the easy and relaxing time with him, but the moment we pulled over at the girls` school, he literally squealed and squeaked with excitement. He knew that soon he would be called Tommy, he`d be tickled and kissed all over and given all sorts of fun things to touch, look at and chew on. Unfortunately, most of the interesting things Mommy would snatch away before they could reach his little mouth for a taste. Not fun!

The girls` involvement never ceased. They adored caring for their Tommy to the point of Edward and I calling them `mini mommies` and the two of us merely babysitters. Sophie and Rachel were always there to make their brother giggle. They sang to him the new songs that they`d learned at school, they`d play peek-a-boo for fifteen minutes straight without a sign of slowing down from either of them, they would assist when Daddy was giving his little man a bath, having a towel, baby creams, lotions and clean diapers ready at hand. In the morning the girls took turns choosing an outfit for the baby and in the evenings they shared the joy of sitting down on the couch and feeding Tommy his bottle of milk.

No wonder Tom was growing strong, smart and content. Surrounded by so much love he absorbed the world with curious eyes and eager hands. We quickly discovered that he was quite a brainiac and a determined one at that. He could concentrate on doing one thing for some time and didn`t give up until satisfied with his mission. Edward and I often watched him entranced as he was learning new skills. Once he got a single box with a lid. By chance, the box opened, so Tommy explored inside, turned the box in his hand and banged it against the lid. Again, coincidentally he managed to close it. Edward stifled his laughter just as Tom grunted a `huh` to himself and proceeded to repeat the fun. This time the box didn`t co-operate so easily, so our boy talked to it, grunted some more, screeched, laughed and in the end got frustrated but wasn`t going to give up. Eventually, he looked at Daddy for assistance, so Edward opened the box and gave it back to him. We thought that the game was over, but Tom manoeuvred the pieces in his hands until he managed to close the box again. Then he pressed his little chin to his chest and began hypnotizing the object into opening all over again. When it popped open, Edward and I clapped and cheered and Tom gave us a curious glance.

"This is exactly why I don`t like the irregular hours of work anymore," Edward said to me. "I`m missing out on too many of these moments. Look at him, scratching his head like a little genius."

I could only smile and tell him that I understood. It was clear as the Sun that Edward`s claims that he loved being a Dad weren`t only words. He was involved in the care and as interested in our children`s everyday lives as he`d said he was. Often he didn`t want to talk about work but instead he asked Sophie and Rachel what they did at school and he cuddled Tommy to no end. His face would literally drop when he got home late and the children were already in bed. I felt sorry for him.

Soon came a day when Tommy sat on his own for the first time. We were home and I was overcome with pride, and couldn`t wait for Edward and the girls to come home and show off Tom`s new skill. His sisters danced and clapped their hands and told Tommy what a clever boy he was and Daddy wiped a tear from his eye. I smiled from ear to ear and it was only Tommy himself who didn`t seem to grasp what the fuss was about.

We knew that once he began sitting with no help, soon it would be time for crawling. And we were right. After discovering that his body could move from place to place without being carried, Tom got to work. We got him baby shoes with rubber soles so he could push himself along on the wooden floor without sliding. Week after week he got stronger and better. At first, if we put him on the floor on all fours, he swayed his bum back and forth and shortly after sank his tummy to the ground. But it only took a few weeks for his arms and legs to get so stable and powerful that he was able to move forward.

The English version of the first book in the "Behind the Blue Door" was taking the young readers` world by a storm and while I was a part of this incredible machine, I wasn`t in the center of attention and that suited me pretty well. While Gianna travelled all over the English speaking world and answered hundreds of questions a day on radio and tv shows, I watched her on television while rolling a soft ball on the floor with my son. She was on the covers of the magazines while I could put on my good old pair of Chucks and look for the first sings of spring at the park with my daughters. And when she got jetted from country to country, city to city for book signing, I slept in my own bed every night beside my favorite man in the world. Yet, it was I who knew what happened in the story next. Who said you can`t eat cookie and have it at the same time?

Whilst enjoying the professional success, I revered in my personal ones. No magazine cover could compete with the moment when you come home with you daughters and your husband stands there holding your little boy and beaming with indescribable elation.

"Girls, Tommy walks! He walks! He woke up from his nap and took two steps from the armchair to the couch all by himself!"

"Aaaaaa!" I let out happily. "Are you serious? Oh my goodness, Tommy, did you walk all by yourself? What a clever boy!"

Tommy took another few steps (among a few falls) to show off and we celebrated for the rest of the day. The merriment on Edward`s face was a sight to behold; his boy had taken first steps right in front of him! One might think that it isn`t such a big deal, however I reminded myself that Edward had missed many of Sophie and Rachel`s big moments and for that reason he cherished every new thing that Tom did threefold.

That night I found Edward holding sleeping Tommy in the middle of the night and swaying gently back and forth in the dark.

"Hi, my beautiful boys," I whispered and rubbed Edward`s arm.

"Hey, beautiful girl," he answered with a smile in his voice.

"Everything OK?"

"All is great, baby. He`s gone back to sleep but I like holding him. I hope he doesn`t mind that I didn`t put him back in his bed."

"Honey, he`s being cuddled by his beloved Daddy and he can feel your heartbeat, believe me, he`s in heaven. I wouldn`t be surprised if he was pretending to be sleeping, just to have you cuddle him like that."

"Can you believe that he`s almost a year old and taking first solitary steps already? Where is the time going?"

"I know. I`m so happy that you had your special moment with him today."

"When he reached the couch we both looked at each other in disbelief. I was speechless and Tommy stared at me as if saying `Dude, what did I just do?` The astonishment in his chocolate eyes was priceless."

"I believe you."

"I like how his lower lip disappears in his mouth like yours does. He`s so much like you, Bella, a sweet free spirit with soft brown hair and eyes."

"OK, " I laughed. "Next one is gonna look like you, mister!"

Edward`s head turned to me instantly and his eyes twinkled in midnight darkness. No, I wasn`t pregnant, but my husband looked… hopeful?

"Do you think we`ll have another one?" He asked.

"I don`t know, what do you think?"

"I think we make beautiful babies and we`ve been managing well."

"The girls have each other; it would be nice for Tommy to have a brother or a sister for a buddy."

"There`s another way to look at it, Bella. As we both know, we`re only minding this little fellow here for the two mini mommies, so how about having a baby for ourselves?"

"Haha, good one!" I laughed. "I have a very private reason. It would be lovely to have another boy who would just like his Daddy, with deep, soulful, green eyes and messy bronze hair."

"Wow."

"Let`s get some sleep now and we`ll come back to it soon, alright?"

…..

In the weeks leading to Tommy`s first birthday our boy practiced his walking abilities every day with so much zest that we weren`t in the least surprised that he was able to collect gifts from the guests at his party at the end of May almost by himself. He didn`t follow us around the house on his two feet yet, but he kept his balance and posture for the three or four full steps distance from one person to another with ease.

"Can you believe," Edward started as we were tidying up the dishes after the party, "Sophie and Rachel are big five-year-olds now and Tom is one? And I still feel like I`m only twenty five."

"Good for you!" I joked and then focused my eyes on him. "Honey, I saw the candle. Is there something you want to tell me?"

"As a matter of fact, there is. I have a surprise for you, Bella and I hope you like it," he sighed.

"A surprise? What is it?" I said, wiping my hands in a towel and hanging it on a hook on the wall.

"Well," he took my hands in his, "Bella, I haven`t been very happy for quite some time…"

"Wh-?" I began with my heart leaping up to my throat.

"No, no, this has nothing to do with you, love," Edward smiled and rubbed my hands. "I haven't been happy at work. I mean, I like my job a lot, but the irregular hours are getting to me and I don`t like what it does to our family. A few years back I was ecstatic when I got a double shift and didn`t have to come home; there was nobody waiting for me there. Now I have you and the children and I want to have a normal family life where we can plan an evening or a weekend and we`ll know that I won`t be called to an emergency. I`ve missed enough story times, playground games, dinners, breakfasts. Bella, sometimes I even fear that someone will call me while I`m making love to you. I want things to be different. As much as I love my job, I love you more and my time spent with you is more important."

"Where are you going with this, Edward? You aren`t gonna quit your job, are you?"

"No, I`m not. Well… I`ve mentioned it a few times to Stefan and Alistair. And here`s the thing. Last week Stefan called me and told me that he`d proposed to Renata, she said `yes` and he`s moving back to Bucharest."

"Oh, you never told me that! That`s fantastic!"

"Yeah, I know, sorry, I was just concentrating on other things. So Stefan decided to open a new practice in Bucharest and he`s also happy that he`ll stay close to his parents; you remember his father not being well?"

"Yes, I do."

"Stefan is leaving which means that Alistair will be left with their practice without a partner."

"Are you saying…?"

My husband let out a little smile, probably as a reaction to my eyes growing huge at the realization of his genius plan.

"Alistair told me that he`d be more than happy for me to join him. That practice is bursting with patients, most of them know me because I`ve been filling in for either Stefan or Alistair. I have all the credentials and I could start tomorrow if that was the case. Plus I`m a surgeon which means that I can remove teeth and do other procedures that aren`t typically performed by a regular dentist. It`s still my field of expertise, regular hours, people I know and have worked with, the money is also very good. I would be here at night, at weekends, we could go away, we could plan vacations, I could see my children grow up and sip wine with my wife every night without looking at the phone or pager every ten minutes."

"You`ve been thinking about it for a whole week?"

"Yes."

"Darling, I can manage the house and the kids, I don`t want you to resign your career that you`ve worked so hard for. You are so highly respected and I`ve heard Carlisle talking about you being the favorite to run the ward soon. Please, don`t throw it away for me."

"Bella, this isn`t about throwing anything away. Right now I feel like I`m neglecting the most important people in my life and the most important part of myself. There are great surgeons at the hospital who can do the job as well as I do if not better. About prestige I don`t care, I`ve never had the ambition to be the chief. I wanted to help people, I wanted to be important, to do something big with my life. I`m doing all those things at home. The recognition that interests me comes from you, our daughters and our son. And I keep thinking that we might have one more baby… My father left the ER at a hospital and went into family practice so he could be with us more. To this day he says it`s been one of the best decisions in his life."

"Have you talked to him about this idea?"

"I have. I wanted to know what was going through his mind as he was making his decision. He never regretted it. Gone are the times when people worked in the same company for fifty years, then retired and got ready to die. It sounds drastic but it`s true. It`s not only about the money or prestige these days, it`s about personal fulfilment. I`d still have great fun with canals and such!"

"Root canals, yuck!"

"Bella, for a guy like me a root canal is like a really good foreplay."

"Oh, I see," I snickered. "So you`d do foreplay for some hours a day and then come home to me for the rest?"

"Every night."

"I won`t kid you, it sounds great. To have you here regularly would be amazing. But only and I mean it, Edward, _only_ if you really want it. This is about you and nobody else. I would hate if you resented it later on."

"You have no idea how peaceful and good I feel when I think about it, Bella. Honestly, baby, this is not what I _have_ to do, but what I _want_ to do." 

"And when is Stefan leaving the country?"

"Within the next two months, by the end of June."

"And what do you need to do now, talk to the chief?"

"Yes. I`ll do it first thing Monday morning, if I have your blessing."

This time I rubbed his hands. "Then do whatever you need to do. I`ll be here whatever happens, Edward. You have my full blessing."

"That`s my girl, thank you," he smiled warmly and kissed my forehead. "It`s gonna be great, you`ll see. And we can seriously consider another baby. It`ll be just so much easier to run this show and I wanna be here to enjoy it."

It took me a few days to really grasp what Edward`s new working hours would mean to us. I caught myself daydreaming and sighing with glee at the thought that he`d be able to help with this or that in the house. He seemed extremely happy with his decision and began the implementation of his plan immediately. His passion and excitement pulled me in and I was awaiting the changes not only from the perspective of an easier family life, but more than that to see Edward get a genuine kick out of it. It was obvious that it wasn`t a "big gesture" or his bid to impress me, but rather he was finding his own fulfilment and power in working for himself.

Just a few days before his birthday in June, we all stayed at the table after dinner for a game of `pick up sticks`. Sophie and Rachel couldn`t get enough of it so we had one round after another. Tom sat on Edward`s lap and chewed on a spoon while watching our outbursts of `ah`s and `oh`s and trying to snatch a stick or two when he thought we weren`t watching. He didn`t have much luck with that, but he loved the clapping at the end of each round of the game and laughed the loudest of us all. The girls were great at the stick picking and won most of the turns. Almost an hour later we declared the last session and Edward was about to win when Rachel stuck out her tongue while concentrating on picking up the last plastics bars with an impressively steady hand and left her Daddy behind at second place.

"Yay, girls win!" She cried out.

"Oh no, not again!" Edward exclaimed dramatically and he threw Tommy`s hands in the air. "We will never win with you, girly lot! There aren`t enough boys in this family."

He shot me a quick look and I responded with a little smile.

"So," I continued the subject a while later after the children had said goodnight. I hovered over him in his chair. "Not enough boys in this family, huh?" I asked sultrily.

Edward dished me a dazzle. "Well, I`ll be starting my new job at the end of next month and I keep thinking that completing the family with another baby is more and more feasible."

"Oh god, I can`t wait to make this baby with you. I can already see a mini you in my arms," I added and ghosted a hand over my gorgeous man`s abdomen and lower. His reaction didn`t disappoint me.

"OK. You. Upstairs. Naked. Now!" He ordered in a loud whisper. I giggled.

"OK, mister, hold your horses," I said and ran a hand through his hair. "What would you say if I whisked you away for the weekend to celebrate your birthday? We would stay in a hotel alone… We could try new things…" I mused.

"Try new things…" Edward croaked and his eyes lolled back with pleasure.

"Uhm. I talked to my Mom and she agreed to stay with the children from Friday night to Sunday morning. So you could have your way with me in a couple of days," I bore my eyes into his.

"Friday," he said.

"Friday," I confirmed.

"What day is it today?"

"Tuesday."

"Fuck."

I laughed. "We can of course begin to practise making a new baby tonight already."

"Witch," he declared and kissed me on the nose. "Thank you. It`s gonna be marvellous to spend some time just with you."

The next few days passed in increasing anticipation of our rendezvous and I couldn`t get the idea of coming back home pregnant again out of my head. Edward mentioned it once or twice himself and the deal was sealed, we were officially trying to conceive our newest addition to the family. Although I was in the middle of my cycle I couldn`t be a hundred percent certain that it would work and we would make our baby that weekend, but as it became clear a short while later, we did it!

It was the middle of July when I felt nauseous three mornings in a row and my instinct kicked in, directing me to pregnancy tests at the drug store where I was buying shampoo for the children. I nearly knocked a bunch of small rectangular boxes off the shelf and when I turned to adjust them, a smiling infant seemed to have winked at me from the picture. So with a rush of heat in my stomach and a blush on my cheeks I plopped one of them into the basket.

As soon as we found ourselves alone, I took Edward by the hand and pulled him gently off the couch in the living room. He squinted his eyes at first and then a hint of a devilish smile appeared on his face. I laughed internally, thinking that he must be expecting some sexing up.

"Lose the grin, Cullen. It`s not fuck o`clock, forgive my French," I shot at him boldly. My insides started a dance.

"Jeez, Bella, you can`t just say things like that to me and not expect a reaction," he retorted huskily. "Where are we going?"

"Bathroom."

"Then why downstairs and not up the stairs in our en suite? There`s only a toilet in here," he tried to explain. His voice didn`t hide surprise.

"Toilet is all we need. I mean, I`m going to use it, you`ll wait outside."

"Baby, I don`t get it."

Without a word I pointed to the bench in the kitchen and he sat down. I fished out the box with the infant on it from my handbag and faced him. The moment he put two and two together, his head snapped up to meet my eyes.

"Bella…" he whispered.

I touched his hands, " Shhh. This is the part where I pee and you wait. Sit here, I`ll be back."

"Will you –"

"I will come out and we`ll wait together, promise." 

"OK," he smiled nervously and sank compliantly deeper into the wooden bench.

About a minute later I washed my hands and came out of the bathroom.

"Aw, shit!" Edward hissed, rubbing his forehead.

"Sorry, baby. I didn`t know you were leaning against the door!"

"It`s OK, I guess you can call me eager," he let out a laugh. "What do we do now?"

"Now we wait for five minutes," I said taking him by the hand and pulling towards the bench. "Here, you hold it," I added, handing him the test stick.

He turned it over and placed it down on his lap.

"Have you been suspecting something?" He said softly. His eyes were pure liquid love and affection.

"I`m late and have been feeling queasy and nauseous for the past few mornings. Plus, meat smells funny to me again. Not as strong as with Tommy, but it when Alice opened the oven last night and the chicken pie wafted, I felt a bit uncomfortable. I was glad that we ate outside and I could breathe in the fresh air."

"It doesn`t affect the taste?"

"No, it`s just the smell. All hot foods seem too strong at the moment, that`s why I`ve been eating crackers, sandwiches and salads."

Edward nodded and hung his head, focusing on the stick resting on his lap. "Is it time?" He whispered.

"Not yet," I whispered back.

"Look at my hands, I`m shaking," he joked.

"You haven`t been there when I found out about the girls and then Tommy; I want you to have this moment."

"Thank you, honey. Are we waiting for two lines?"

"For a plus."

"OK. What if we don`t get it now?"

"Then we`ll be at it like bunnies until we get the plus," I blurted matter-of-factly and we both laughed out loud, dissipating the tension.

"Is it time yet?" My husband repeated himself like a pre-schooler again.

"Indeed," I stated simply.

Edward ran a finger along the plastic of the test stick swallowing thickly, and slowly turned it over to look at the display window. I closed my eyes.

Edward`s sigh reached my ears. I couldn`t decipher the emotion in it right away so with my heart in my throat I looked at him.

His lips were pulled in a brilliant, bright smile. His eyes sparkled with unspeakable joy.

"We did it, Mrs Bunny," he said, letting me see the stick.

"We`re having a baby," I breathed out with my voice barely noticeable.

Our eyes filled with moisture as we connected our foreheads.

"I love you so much, Mr Bunny," I said.

"I love you, sweetheart. I suddenly feel so… grown up, you know."

"Only now?" I asked curious.

"It was quite a ride for me for a long time, Bella. You were the single mom who knew the drill of raising a family. Then we got married and we had Tommy straight away and I was still getting used to being a dad. And now with the job change I feel like I`m finally in control over my life. I`m really enjoying it and allowing myself to actually be in those moments, to be fully in them as opposed to looking at them as a spectator."

"Good. Will we go to Dr. Randall together?"

"Tomorrow morning," he agreed, squeezing the stick in his hand.

We told Esme and Carlisle that something came up suddenly and asked if they wouldn`t mind looking after Tommy in the morning. We brought Sophie and Rachel to school and dropped our little boy at his grandparents` house. Esme looked as if she wanted to ask us something specific but gave up on it. I was glad because I don`t think I would have been able to contain the joy and most likely I would have slipped and told her that we were going to confirm a pregnancy.

Dr. Randall congratulated us with a broad smile and estimated a five week old stage of gestation. Memories of Edward`s birthday celebrations flashed through my mind and when I looked at Edward I knew I wasn't the only one; my husband was sporting a fire engine red blush, sitting right beside me at the doctor`s office!

_He`s really in the moment right now. We look like a pair of teenagers in the principal`s office!_

"We need to come up with a plan to tell the clan," Edward spoke proudly, starting the car.

"We could keep it to ourselves for a couple of weeks and make an announcement at our anniversary party next month, what do you think?" I offered lightly, the smile never leaving my face.

"Good idea," Edward responded with a matching grin on his features.

"Hey, baby boy," I cooed to Tommy when we collected him. "Are you having a nice time with Nana?"

"Maybe you shouldn`t hold -" Edward started as I picked Tommy from Esme and settled him in my arms.

"Pardon?" I glanced at him.

"No, nothing. Nevermind," he averted his eyes and smiled nervously at his mom who scanned us both up and down, back and forth.

"Is everything OK?" She inquired. "You are both beaming… I`m just a little confused."

She fixed her gaze on me and Tommy and moved to Edward. I knew in that moment that the cat will be out of the bag very, very soon. This woman knows her son and no words were necessary between them.

Esme looked at Edward, Edward looked at me, and I, shaking my head, said, "Oh, go on, you`re bursting to tell."

My mother-in-law placed the gentlest gaze on my stomach and I gave her the tiniest nod. Edward followed suit.

"Really?" Esme mouthed to us.

"Really, Mom. Another little Cullen is on the way," her son admitted.

"Oh dear," she covered her mouth and stepped closer. Then she caressed Edward`s cheek and cupped both of mine. "Sweethearts, that`s wonderful news. Congratulations. You are the type of parents that every child should have, no wonder another angel has been sent to you."

"Thank you, Mom," came from Edward. "Bella`s laughing that we just like even numbers."

Esme threw her head back with laughter, "Just wait till Emmett hears your news, he`ll probably say that you`re trying to outdo him and Rose."

"Oh, we`re just catching up," Edward added with a wink and held me around my waist.

Happily, I patted my rounder and rounder growing belly and cherished each day of my last pregnancy. Rachel and Sophie were over the moon when we told them we were having another baby and Tommy watched curiously as his Daddy and sisters rubbed their hands against Mommy`s big tummy as in for good luck. I liked to press his plump handie to it when we were alone and look at his brown eyes in awe when the protrusion moved underneath my skin. "Beebee!" he would exclaim and I laughed at his discovery every time. I don`t think he fully understood what was going on but the rest of us adopted his nickname for our new little munchkin.

Just like the previous time, Edward was incredible. He loved working at his practice and I didn`t need the clocks in the house as he was home every evening half an hour after the practice closed. He helped Sophie and Rachel with their homework, taught them to ride proper bikes and gave them piano lessons. He had fun giving Tommy a bath with the help of the girls and making the little man laugh hysterically, making silly noises and faces at him. And he loved rubbing my belly and talking to Beebee.

Right before Christmas we had a scan appointment and we agreed that if it was possible, we wanted to know what sex Beebee was.

Dr. Randall spread the cool jelly on my stomach and all three of us turned to the monitor.

"And here we are," Makenna said softly.

I squinted my eyes to try and make out a baby shape out of the pulsing blobs on the screen while Edward took a glance and smiled to himself.

"Look, Beebee`s waving at us!" He said excitedly.

"Where? I can`t see it, Edward," I accused, disappointed.

_I want to see my baby waving at me, damn it!_

"Right here, sweetheart," Edward added calmly and pointed at the screen. "See this? This is the hand."

I frowned at first but after a few seconds I happily admitted that eventually I recognized a human shape in there. And it was waving at me, really waving! Well, probably just floating, but hey, I saw a wave and I`m sticking to it.

"I see it, honey. I see it!" I cried out. "Hi, Beebee," I waved back at the monitor and smiled broadly. I was so grateful that the doctor allowed me to have this private moment. It was as if my little cupcake was letting me know that everything was fine and he/she was having a good time growing inside me.

I wiped a tear from my eye and focused on the screen again. I turned to Edward.

"And that`s the other hand, right? Beside it?" I asked.

"You mean this?" My husband pointed again and the doctor giggled quietly.

"Yes?"

"_These_ would be his boy bits," he explained with a smile that spread on his whole face.

"Oh, oops," I said embarrassed. "Wait, boy bits? We`re having a boy?" My eyes grew huge while still glued to the blobs on the monitor.

"Yes, love, a boy," Edward replied with emotion in his voice.

"A boy," I covered my mouth with a shaky hand. "Tommy`s gonna have a brother!" I finally turned to DR. Randall. "We would have loved a girl like no other but a boy completes us beautifully."

Makenna nodded with a smile, "I know what you mean. I have two brothers and I spent my whole childhood dreaming of a sister. My husband on the other hand has two sisters and always quietly longed for a brother so we couldn`t be happier with our two girls and two boys."

"Wow, you have four kids too?" I exclaimed surprised.

"Yes, I do," she laughed.

She didn`t look like it at all, which made me feel good, knowing that a woman with a bunch of young ones can be a smiling, happy professional who takes care of herself. One who has time to dress nicely, brush her teeth, comb her hair and and be fully alert at work.

As March of two thousand and fourteen rolled in and the birth neared, I grew a tad bit sad that these were the last days that I would ever feel a wee human body growing inside mine. Never again would I share the excited news with the family, never again would I carry a wonderful secret without the would knowing, never again would I shake my head at the realization that my clothes don`t fit me any longer, never again would I feel the kicks of the dainty feet coming from the inside of me. But I treasured the fact that my baby was safe and secure and healthy in his first home. I thanked my Mom`s past fascinations with meditation and relaxation methods and turned to them myself. I thanked God for making me a woman who could preserve, grow and pass on life. I thanked my body for every breath, every heartbeat and every thrum of the blood in my veins for helping all my four precious children develop and prepare for continuing their own journey in the world and experiencing the wonders of life for themselves.

On the eve of the twelfth my head swam with such dreams when a rather sharp pain cursed through my abdomen and ripped me out of it. I opened my eyes to the dark of our bedroom and realized the discomfort of the dampness on the sheets.

"Oh, my sweet baby boy," I cooed to the watermelon in front of me. "Is it time? Are we going to meet you today?"

I turned to the sleeping form of my husband and gently squeezed his forearm.

"Edward, honey, wake up. We have an emergency here."

"Hmm," he hummed.

"Edward, we need to go to the hospital," I continued calmly.

"Emergency?" He murmured, lifting his sleepy head. "Sure, emergency, hospital, I`m on my way."

I chuckled.

"Wait," he finally opened his eyes and searched mine. "I don`t work at the hospital anymore. Oh, shit, is it… Beebee?"

"Yes, love. Beebee`s coming. My water just broke."

He ordered me to stay where I was and bolted to the bathroom with his cell in hand.

I heard his muffled voice through the door and reached for my own cell. I texted both my parents, not wanting to wake them up at half past three in the morning and slowly slipped my legs off the bed.

"Sweetie," I said to my belly, "I`m gonna miss you in here but more than anything I can`t wait to see you, my little darling. I love you so much."

Edward helped me get dressed and in what seemed like no time at all, I heard a car in our driveway.

It crossed my mind that Esme and Carlisle must have been camping round the corner from our house waiting for Edward to make that call. It felt like I`d just woken up and realized I was in labor and they were already in our home for Sophie, Rachel and Tommy to take care of them and tell them the news in the morning. My in-laws kissed me goodbye and promised they`d take good care of my babies at home and bring them later on to see their new brother.

It was just before seven in the morning when Edward and I heard the first cry of our new son. Daddy cut the cord and placed the small, slippery and wrinkled body into my eager arms. All of me was shaking with emotion and Edward`s face was red and wet with sweat and tears.

"My god, Bella, he`s so beautiful. Thank you," he bore his eyes deeply into mine and kissed my forehead.

"Thank you, too," I croaked out. "I can`t believe we did it again."

"We did, my beautiful girl."

"I can`t wait for everyone to see him."

I touched our son`s delicate fingers and I knew that he was another person I would do anything for.

After we got cleaned and our little man had his first taste of Mommy`s milk, Edward sat beside my bed and read a text message on his cell with a mysterious smile.

"What is it?"

"A surprise."

"Edward?"

"You`ll see soon enough. Trust me."

I gave him a dirty look and he stuck his tongue out at me.

"I love you, you mad man. Will you take a photo of us so I can send it to my Dad, please?"

"Oh, you don`t have to do that, Bella."

"Why not?" I asked, kissing my boy`s head.

"Because your Dad is here, sweetheart. That`s the surprise."

"My Dad`s here?"

"Yes, he is," Edward confirmed. "Your Mom suggested that he stayed in the spare bedroom in her apartment so he could see his new grandson with everybody else."

"My father has been staying in my mother`s apartment? How long?"

"Since Tuesday. To my defence, I only learned about it yesterday morning and was sworn to secrecy."

So a few minutes later the room filled with the most important people in my life, my daughters, my (older now) son, both my parents! and Esme along with Carlisle.

I waved at my Dad to come closer and placed the precious bundle in his embrace first. He was hesitant to start with but I waved it off and let him cradle my newborn with gentle confidence. Charlie beamed with satisfaction and Edward winked at me sweetly. My Dad didn`t see my older children until later and I was so happy that he got to be with us in the heat of the moment. I could feel how much it meant to him. And the softness in my Mom`s eyes as she looked at the two of them didn`t escape my notice.

"My goodness," Esme gasped holding the baby. "Robert Anthony, you look just like your Daddy after he was born."

"Mommy," Rachel clapped her hands. "Can we call him Robbie?"

Edward and I chuckled, "We thought you`d do it anyway. Of course you can call him Robbie."

Sophie tickled Robbie`s hand and he sighed softly in his sleep. "I think he likes it," she said. "Now we have Tommy and Robbie."

We hugged, squeaked and took pictures. Then the family left us to enjoy the nice sunny mid-March Saturday morning and I took a nap before The Whitlocks and Emmett with his family came to see the little guy at lunchtime.

I was glad to be home and resume my everyday life, however different it now was, with a newborn baby and a toddler in the house. Edward took a few weeks off and for the following few he only worked in the evenings when the practice was busy and I had either my Mom or Esme in to help out.

I enjoyed the two ladies` company a lot. Edward`s Mom was very helpful and kind but never imposed or overpowered us. And Renèe was getting more maternal with each grandchild and it was wonderful to see her happy and content in her new life. While discussing life purpose one day with Esme, my Mom disclosed to her that she`d always felt most connected with herself and others on spiritual, ethereal level. Esme suggested a few places and dropped some people`s names and Renèe went back to meditating. It hit home again and I was still expecting Robert when Mom did her courses in Reiki and animal healing. She received her master diplomas in both when Robbie turned two months old and was planning on opening her own business! She was so enthusiastic and I loved whenever she came to see us and tell us about the progress in her new endorsements.

Things were going great. We were happy, the children were growing healthy, Edward was in his element working for himself and I wrote my short stories between naptimes, feedings and playtime.

Robert was the coolest, most chilled out baby ever. He loved his food and sleep and curiously watched people. Tommy was a dream big brother who wanted to include Robbie in all his games, even though it was clear that his brother was way too small for most of them. But he was a sweet boy and loved helping me with the baby. If I couldn`t find Robbie`s favorite toy, Tommy would say "Relax, Mommy, relax!" and make me laugh and… relax. When I was about to wash his hair in the bath (he did _not_ like that for some time) he would push away my hands stating "Mommy, no means _no_!" And if Robbie pulled at his clothes when he was busy doing something else, he would scramble too many words for me to understand and then look into Robbie`s eyes and gently finish with "Do you understand that, baby?" Edward told me a funny story when some boy at the park followed Tom around the playground and our boy wasn`t too happy about it. "Tom, he just wants to play with you," Edward said to him, to which Tom`s response was "But I`m not a toy, Daddy." We laughed till our bellies hurt every time he came up with something new like this. Full of mischief and joy, he liked to lie down beside me on the couch in the evening as I breastfed Robbie, rub his baby brother`s leg, pat me on the arm with words "You`re a good boy, Mamma." I couldn`t wait to hear Robbie`s one-liners in the future.

Summer came and went. We christened Robbie, my Dad came to see us and my Mom joined a holistic center where she offered Reiki treatment right next door to a chiropractor, an acupuncturist, and a herbalist. She also loosely worked with a veterinary clinic where her healing skills proved to be helpful to animal patients and also brought peace to distraught pet owners. She volunteered at an animal shelter, too.

It was her animal stories shared at the senior Cullens Sunday dinner table that got the young ones` minds going. Henry told his Dad that he would like to have a dog. Knowing Emmett, it didn`t take much convincing and the preparations began. I learned from Rose how much talking about the breed and the care for a dog was going on in the house and how she also warmed up to the idea of a furry family member. Hugo, being best buddies with his cousin, was practically living in Rose and Em`s house where the boys looked through books and pictures on the internet, learning and getting ready to welcome the new arrival. Emmett talked to Renèe and Suzie and Jamie`s vet to find out what kind of a pet would be best for four young children. One day my Mom called Rose from the animal shelter and told her that a bunch of Labrador retriever puppies were found a day earlier on the side of the road. They all had been checked by the vet and estimated to be about seven weeks old and would be ready to be adopted. The puppies would usually cost quite a bit of money each so the original `owner` was either unaware of this or was running some kind of an illegal business and got rid of the pups in a hurry, but luckily for the five furries, they were healthy and very likely to soon find loving homes.

Rose told Emmett, Emmett told Henry and Henry told Hugo that the dog search was over and he would be able to choose his own puppy from a bunch of five.

And then it hit Hugo. The pup was going to be Henry`s, live in Henry`s house and he, Hugo couldn`t just move in there to play with the dog whenever he wanted. It was as if suddenly the joy was sucked out of him, the whole idea of a pet was real, Henry was getting a dog and Hugo would be left with all the knowledge that he`d acquired and the pictures that he`d cut out of magazines. Jasper found him in his bedroom sullen and withdrawn. Hugo didn`t want to talk but Jasper and Alice figured out what the issue must have been and after a long talk they decided that they also would like a four legged pet. They made Hugo admit to what the change in his mood was associated with and at last, they told him that some puppy would be very lucky to be loved and cared for by a boy who had learned so much about them and has such a beautiful heart. Charlotte chanted `doggie, doggie!` and Hugo simply cried, hugged his parents like there was no tomorrow and asked if he could call Henry immediately to share the news with him!

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately but more about that later) my darling husband eagerly asked if it was OK to leave me for an hour in the afternoon and accompany Hugo, Henry and their fathers to the shelter to pick up the puppies, and I said yes. An hour later I got a phone call.

"So, how is it going?" I said.

"Great! This one pup started jumping around as soon as he saw Henry so the decision was made there and then. Rose had asked not to get a crazy one but shhh, don`t tell her that her guys are bringing home the most rambunctious one. And a funny thing, Hugo always drew a brown dog and guess what, there`s one chocolate brown lab here. Hugo knew right away that he was his pup."

"Fantastic! So, congratulations and good luck wishes are in order I think."

"Thanks, love, I`ll pass then on…" he started.

"But?"

"Huh?"

"Edward, I know you, you want to tell me something."

"Well, there`s this one pup here…"

"Edward, sweetheart, we`ve talked about it. We have four young children. The girls would be fine but Tommy is only a toddler and Robbie`s seven months old. It`s busy here. I`m not saying no but maybe just not right now?"

"I know, I know. It`s just… the way he looks at me, it`s like he knows me or something."

"You`ve just listened to too many of my Mom`s stories, honey."

"Yeah, maybe," he sighed, resigned.

"Edward, just come home and we`ll talk about it at some stage, OK?"

"OK, love."

I felt like I`d just had a conversation with a young boy instead of a grown man. I knew I was ridiculously lucky to have such a loving and caring husband who was so willing to share his heart and home with other beings but I`m a planner and dropping a bomb like that on me didn`t usually evoke a vivacious "yeah!" in response.

"Daddy, do you have pictures?" The girls asked one over the other at dinner later on. Oh, how happy was I that they were on a play date in a friend`s house and hadn`t gone to the shelter.

"I have," Edward said and pulled out his cell. "This is Henry`s dog Hunter."

"Oh, he`s so cute!" Rachel called out.

"Doggies say woof woof!" Tommy added expertly.

"That`s right honey," I smiled.

"And this brown one here…" Edward pressed another button, "is Hugo`s Ziggy."

"Ziggy?" Sophie laughed. "That`s a funny name! I like it."

"It`s interesting how those names reflect the boys` fathers," I chuckled.

Edward frowned and mouthed the names Hunter and Ziggy to himself. "Yeah you`re right, they do."

"And who`s this, Daddy?" Sophie enquired browsing through the photos on Edward`s cell.

"This is Marty."

"He`s so beautiful!" she exclaimed and leaned over to show the picture to Rachel. "Does he belong to anyone?"

"No, he`s looking for a home. Let me show you someone you`ll love, I took this photo especially for you. Here. This is the cat called Bambi. It`s a girl and she was hit by a car. She got injured pretty badly but the vets were able to help her and although she will probably limp for the rest of her life, she got adopted today too."

"So sweet! " Rachel squeaked.

"That`s wonderful," I said looking at Bambi and accidentally pressing the `previous` button which revealed a gold furred dog with the most downcast yes I`d ever seen.

"Grandma Renèe says that some animals are angels and they come here to protect us and make us happy and help us when we`re sad."

"That`s right, Sophie," I responded and returned the cell to Edward. "Animals can sense danger much better than people and they can warn us. Or they can simply be our friends and companions."

"Can we get a dog, too?"

_And here we go._

"Maybe one day," I said. "At the moment we`re very busy and a puppy like Hunter or Ziggy would require a lot of time and attention. They need to be trained and taught rules so they stay healthy and happy. It`s a lot of work."

"I would love to have a dog," Rachel dreamed out loud.

"Me too," her sister joined her.

"OK, puppies. Enough for today. Time to clean up and put your jammies on," I said.

Edward put the girls and Tommy to bed and I sat down in the rocking chair with Robbie, nursing. I heard Edward talking over the phone, laughing.

"Jasper?" I suggested when he came into the room.

"Yeah," he smiled. "Ziggy explored the house and now he and the kids are fast asleep, completely exhausted. And I got a text from Em, the kids couldn`t be happier but Hunter was very drawn to Rose and fell asleep on her lap. I`d say he recognizes her as the mother."

"No way, really?"

"Aha," Edward answered triumphantly.

"What`s with the tone?"

"Pardon?"

"Edward, it`s me, remember? You said it like you want me to feel sorry for what I`ve lost or something. A seven-week-old puppy isn`t exactly what I need now."

"Bella, I wouldn`t consider a seven-week-old pup for us at the moment. The one I liked is already three months old. At this stage it`s a huge difference. He`s had a home and has received some really good training already. He`s nothing like Ziggy or Hunter."

"Oh, I presumed you meant one of the labs."

"No, he`s a golden retriever. An amazing being and a gorgeous one, but not to worry, he`ll be gone in no time."

"If he`s had a home why is he in the rescue center?"

"He had a family for over a month but the owner didn`t realize that his wife had a severe allergic reaction to Marty. They`d never had a dog before and the woman fell sick over and over again until she told her GP that they`d gotten a puppy and it became clear that she shouldn`t be around dogs at all. They`re empty nesters, their kids have gone to college and they wanted a pet to take care of. Very responsible, sensible people. Marty is perfectly healthy, calm and loving, He responses very well to the positive reward training. He`s just sad now and doesn`t understand why after being such a good boy they`d given him away."

"Oh my god, Edward, this is heartbreaking! Poor little sweetie!" I welled up. _Damn you, hormones. _"Is this the dog in the picture, next to the cat one?"

"Yes, that`s Marty."

"I love that name. It sounds like Marty McFly from `Back to the Future`."

Many years earlier when I was with my boyfriend Martin, I tried to nickname him Marty but he didn`t like it. He thought it didn`t sound serious enough and he didn`t want to be associated with the `silly little movies` that I adored and could watch every week without ever growing bored. Whatever did I see in that guy?

"Funny you should say that, because he _was_ named after Marty McFly. The lady who was allergic to him gave him the name after her favorite movies. I think we have something in common with her," he winked at me and passed me the phone so I could see a few more photos of Marty and a short video of him in his crate. My heart fucking melted looking at this precious being, lost in thought and probably thinking that he wasn`t worthy of love and a caring home.

"You really think he would like it here with us? We`re a crazy, messy family with four kids."

"Bella, honey, you have just spelled `heaven` in canine."

"Does he nip or jump?"

"No."

"Bark?"

"No."

"Potty training?"

"Perfect."

"Oh, flip it, it doesn`t matter. Let`s take him."

"Excuse me?" Edward`s eyes just about fell out of their orbits.

"I always wait, always think, re-think, analyse, analyse again and life is going on. Can I see Marty tomorrow?"

"Well, we can make a call in the morning and if he`s not gone yet, I suppose we can go at lunchtime."

"Maybe my Mom knows? I`ll give her a ring."

Renèe called me back and said that Marty was still there and the man running the center will keep him for us to see at twelve the next day.

In the morning I brought the girls to school as if nothing happened and got back home with the boys. Before lunch we picked up Edward from work and drove to the shelter. I put Tommy and sleeping Robbie in the stroller and we went in. Brian, the young guy in charge of Marty brought us to his crate.

"Ah, look, he recognizes you from yesterday," Brian said to Edward. I followed behind with the stroller and left it several feet from Marty.

We talked to Brian for a while and then he let the puppy out so we could touch him. He wagged his tail and bounced around Edward and me.

Brian showed Marty a treat. The puppy got excited.

"OK, Marty. Lie down," the man said and I watched entranced as the dog lay with his eyes fixed on the prize.

Brian placed the treat on the dog`s paw.

"No, Marty, leave it."

Five seconds passed.

"Leave it."

Another five seconds passed. The puppy never took his eyes off the treat but didn`t make a move.

"OK, Marty, eat it," Brian said and the treat disappeared in the dog`s mouth at once.

"Good boy, Marty!" Edward cried out.

Brian gave Edward another treat and encouraged him to repeat the trick with Marty.

It worked beautifully! I couldn`t believe it.

Tommy shouted `Mommy, that`s a doggie!` from the stroller and that got Marty`s attention. He ventured to the boys and my heart clenched for their safety.

"It`s OK, Bella, just do what we did here with the treats, nicely and calmly," Brian instructed when he noticed my trepidation after I realized that Tommy had a cracker in his hand and the dog licked his lips at the sight of it.

I squatted beside the boys and let Marty sniff at me. He wagged his tail when he saw the cracker.

"No, Marty. Leave it," I tried to sound as relaxed and trusting as I could, although my instinct was screaming at me to take my babies and run away from the wild beast.

Marty looked at Tommy, licked his lips again and followed Tommy`s hand as the child flailed his arms excitedly at the dog, but he made no attempt to snatch the cracker.

"Good boy, Marty. Good boy," I praised him and prayed to walk away.

His trick was great, but those were my babies and he was a stranger.

I sighed with relief when the puppy left Tommy but then he walked around the stroller and cocked his head at sleeping Robbie. I saw red.

Brian and Edward had walked closer and were only two feet away.

"Tell him to be gentle, Bella. Introduce him to the baby and ask him to be soft. He understands the meaning of the words," Brian told me.

I nodded. "Marty, this is our baby Robbie."

Marty sniffed at the baby`s feet and hands.

"Be gentle, Marty, soft and gentle. Good boy," I almost whispered.

And then I watched as the puppy licked my baby`s hand. Robert didn`t react.

"Oh my gosh," I gasped.

"Oh, sorry," Brian apologized. "You can tell him to leave it just like with the treat if you don`t want him to lick the baby."

"No, no. He`s not licking his face, so that`s alright. I have baby wipes. I`m just in awe at how sweet and gentle he is."

"Goldies are brilliant with children, great companions for active people and fantastic protectors. They learn very quickly, listen well, they`re loyal and exceptionally instinctive. Marty here is so unlucky that his owner`s wife was allergic to him."

"Well, maybe not so unlucky…" Edward threw in. "What do you think, honey?"

"I think it will take a lot of adjustment for all of us, but… what do we need? I mean, a crate, food, blankets, toys? We have nothing, we`d need till tomorrow to organize ourselves. Is it possible to leave him till tomorrow? We`ll leave some money…"

"Bella, your husband here and his brothers donated so much food and money to us yesterday that it`ll be my pleasure to look after Marty for you until tomorrow. I would have anyway because I`m sure Marty is going to a great home but you guys have been very, very generous these animals."

"Thank you, Brian," I said. "We`ll get the house and the children ready. I`m glad it`s Friday tomorrow so we`ll have the whole weekend to settle in together."

"So, you never told me you brought money and food here yesterday?" I told Edward when we drove back to his dental office.

"No big deal. It was Hugo and Henry`s idea to buy some toys and food for those animals waiting for homes with their own pocket money. So we swung by this pet food warehouse and got all kinds of food and toys for cats, dogs and other animals and Jazz, Em and I wrote checks for them too. I kind of learned from your Mom, Bella. She says that we are all one, that there`s no separation between us, that it`s all energy. For me as a man educated in logic and science this is quite a change and I like it. I`m a physician and I know how medications work for example, but I also understand that no drugs will work if one doesn`t believe they will. It`s God or the Universe or this Source Energy that heals. I deeply believe that there`s so much more to the world and life that we see. Look at how we got together, how life worked things out for us. That wasn`t logic, that was some energy, some feeling. And for some reason I believe that Marty was also brought to us. We didn`t necessarily choose him, he chose us because just like you and I he has a purpose in life. If I can help other beings who depend on us some food then I`ll do it. I won`t save the whole world, I can`t feed the whole world, but I can feed those animals at that shelter and that`s OK."

"And that, my dear husband, is why I love you so much."

"Thank you, honey. I`ll come home earlier and take the girls shopping for puppy stuff, alright?"

"Okie dokie. I`ll tidy the utility room and make space for the crate."

Sophie and Rachel were completely shocked and elated at the same time, of course. By the end of the day I was wrecked and fell asleep on the couch. My dreams were filled with this light sandy color furred being running around after my children, stealing crackers from their hands and licking their faces as I was rushing after him asking him to be soft and gentle.

_This is gonna take time to get used to…_

The girls couldn`t sleep at night either, so we let them skip school and go to the rescue center with Edward and I stayed at home with the boys.

Three overly excited humans returned home an hour and a half later with an overly excited dog in their arms.

_So, this is it. Welcome to my private ZOO._

Marty got enrolled into puppy school and I listened intently to Edward when he came home after each lesson to learn how to implement new rules and tricks. He played outside with Sophie and Rachel, went jogging with Edward and for walks with the boys and me. The most wonderful thing was to put a baby down for a nap and find Marty snoozing right beside the crib, like a personal guardian.

Once, when Robert had a cold and his nose was so blocked that the poor baby momentarily stopped breathing, Marty alarmed me quicker than I heard worrying noises coming from my son`s crib through the baby monitor. The dog dashed downstairs and into the kitchen where I was chopping vegetables for dinner and seconds later I heard screeching sounds via the monitor. Marty barked and squealed demanding my attention and rushed back up the stairs with me at his tail. Immediately, I picked Robbie up and thank Heavens, he woke up and gave out a throaty croak. I cleaned his nose and let him cry for a moment, glad that his lungs had gone back to work. As my panic subsided, I noticed the poor dog pacing and circling around me with an anxious whimper. I held my little boy closely to my chest and sat down on the floor, leaning against an armchair and crossing my stretched out legs. Marty snuffed the baby as if checking for himself that his little charge was OK, and looked me in the eyes.

"He`s alright, Marty. Thank you, angel. You`re the best boy, you know? Robbie is so lucky to have you as his special friend, we all are," I smiled at him and scratched behind his ear.

He gave out a tiniest sigh and put his head on my thighs. I knew at that moment that my Mom was right, Marty was an angel and we were safe with him, as much as he was safe with us. He was our baby, too.

Marty and I became buddies like no other, a team that would put superheroes to shame. I would give him treats and play his favorite games and he would learn new tricks that melted my heart and made me laugh out loud, like passing me a fresh diaper when I was changing Robbie or putting away his toys when guests were coming over. Sophie and Rachel would take hours to teach him the names of objects and fetching the right ones. They were both so good with him, patient, playful and dedicated.

As I recalled the first time Marty had picked up and passed me a fresh diaper for Robbie from across the room, to the whole family, Carlisle nodded warmly, amongst others.

"Oh, he knows who his best friend is, Bella. The poor thing would be lost without you."

"I don`t know, Carlisle. We`re great together, but you should see what happens when the girls come back from work. Or when Edward is around. Marty loves him.

"Excuse me?" My husband cut in. "Bella, sweetheart, he likes me, I know that. He may even love me, but this dog absolutely adores _you_. He follows you everywhere; he sleeps at your feet and gets really sad when you make a cross face at him. He worships you, honey, that`s why he`s constantly near you trying to prove himself and earn your approval. He loves the rest of us, but he gave his heart and soul to you, not a shadow of a doubt about it. Have you ever noticed how when we`re both sitting on the couch and there`s plenty of room beside me, but Marty lays on the carpet by your side? You`re his priority."

"Wow, I`ve never noticed that, but you`re right, he does that."

I looked down at my furry buddy with a wink. Marty emitted a squeak that sounded like appreciation and I smiled and kissed him on his beautiful soft forehead. He was a gorgeous dog. And quietly I could add that if Ziggy and Hunter were cute, our Marty was simply lovely.

A week before Christmas, we all learned that it wasn`t only Marty was devoted to his human family, and to the point of nearly giving their life up for us.

The day passed on wrapping and hiding more gifts from the kids, and exchanging Christmas recipes with Rose and Alice. It was midnight when I got to bed and snuggled beside my husband.

About three hours later Edward`s cell startled us both.

"Hello?... Mom?... Are you OK?... What?... A fire?... Where?... Downstairs?... When?... Where are you?... Where`s Dad?... Jesus, Mom, are you alright?... Which hospital?... I`m on my way… No, Mom, I want to see you both… And Suzie and Jamie?... OK."

"Edward, what happened?"

"There was a fire in my parents` house. They`re in hospital treated for smoke inhalation, but they`re both OK," he spilled his words, throwing some random clothes on. "I wanna see them, make sure they`re fine. Suzie and Jamie alarmed them."

I followed him downstairs.

"I`ll call you soon, OK?" He looked at me at last, with one hand on the door already.

"As soon as you know anything, Edward, please. I won`t be able to go back to sleep now."

"Of course. Bella, baby, you`re shaking. Can I leave you alone? You have four children here, sweetheart, I need you to be strong, OK? Can you do that?"

"I can, Edward. I`m fine. We`re both in shock, but I`m in the right mind, don`t worry. Just drive carefully."

"I will. I love you."

"I love you, too, baby."

An hour later he phoned me. I was lying on the couch with Marty right beside me.

"So?"

"My parents forgot to turn off the electric heater downstairs before they went to bed. The thing got overheated and there was a contraction. I told my Mom so many times that the stupid thing was old and dangerous but she didn`t listen," he added angrily to himself.

"Anyway, Suzie and Jamie barked for a while but Mom and Dad thought that maybe there was a cat in the backyard or something and ignored it. Then Jamie managed to climb up the stairs and into my parents` bedroom and pulled at Mom`s sheets. They smelled smoke coming from downstairs. The living room was on fire and Suzie was lying down on the floor by the stairs."

"Oh my god!"

"Both my parents are treated for shock and smoke inhalation, but they`re OK. Jamie is fine, Suzie got it the worst, we don`t know how much she inhaled and how much damage it caused to her respiratory system," he said.

"They saved them, didn`t they? If not for Suzie and Jamie… Oh god, Edward, bring your parents here, alright? Tell them not to worry about a thing, it`ll be OK. Where are Jamie and Suzie?"

"The firemen called emergency vets. They say Jamie will be fine, he inhaled a good bit but he`s younger and was strong enough to climb up the stairs to wake up my parents. It looked like Suzie was trying to do the same but she`s older and weaker and lost her consciousness. But she`s in good hands. They`re gonna spend a day or two in the veterinary hospital. I was wondering if your Mom could help?"

"Healing?"

"Yes."

"Of course she will. I`ll give her a call in the morning. Knowing her, she`ll be there in a flash, Edward."

"Thank you. I`ll just talk to Ali and Em, they`re both here, and then I`ll come home."

Luckily, Suzie spent a few days in a veterinary hospital but she was fine and her lungs were OK. Jamie was back to himself in no time. Esme and Carlisle had to redo their living room and repaint the hallway, but the most important thing was that they were in good health and it all ended in a big scare only. They spent a few days with Alice and Jasper to make sure that their house was completely aired.

It brought us all together even more. In moments of elation or trepidation we were well glued and there for each other, as much as in everyday joys. Even my Dad called us so often and was so well in the loop that it felt like he lived down the road and not a few hours away.

That year it was Rose who hosted the Christmas dinner in her house, but by New Year Esme had a clear idea of what furniture she wanted in her new living room. Suzie and Jamie were regularly checked by a vet and treated by Renèe and soon resumed their goofiness and jolliness.

As the children grew older, Rose went back to work in real estate and she created a powerful team with a friend architect, and Esme. When she was presented with a property for sale, the architect drew a couple of possible changes that could be done on it, and Esme worked on usually three different options of furnishing the place. The potential buyers didn`t only see a piece of land, but were presented with a vision of glass houses filled with exotic flowers, horse stables, or simply stunning gardens, as possibilities. Esme showed the people drawings, photos and samplings of paints, fabrics and furniture that could be used for each of her suggestions for a house, to create a specific feeling. It`s obvious that their collaboration was exceptionally successful and the clientele were pleased with imaginative visions and complex service. Almost every client remained working with Rose`s team from the initial meeting and viewing of a property, till the moment the last decorative baubles were put in their desired spots.

ECLIPSE was a very popular restaurant and driven by its success, Emmett opened a coffee shop, cordially named Sunshine Cafè, a name collectively chosen by Lily, Lucy, Henry and Peter. He joked that he loved my baking so much that he needed to find a way of letting the people of Seattle taste my goodies. So, although he hired a couple of professional bakers, I got my licence and was able to produce goodies for public consumption in my own kitchen. On selected days I baked cupcakes, mini-cupcakes, muffins and French macarons. I worked on the varieties and flavors with all the children in the family and after each kiddo chose their favorite, Emmett named the dessert after them, so we had yummies like Peter`s white chocolate and almond muffins, Sophie`s raspberry and vanilla macarons or surprisingly very zesty and citrusy, Charlotte`s lemon and lime mini-cupcakes which were a hit especially with teenagers. Coffee, tea, smoothies and juices complimented the treats beautifully. Babyccino was a must, of course and came in four flavors. Orders sounded hilarious, "I`ll have two Hugos, four Rachels and one Robbie to take away, please." I laughed out loud each time I happened to be at Sunshine.

Alice`s children`s designs got picked up by a children`s fashion guru who convinced her to come up with a line that would be presented to powerful people in the industry. In short few months the new brand "Spots and Stripes" by Alice was born and sold nationwide! `Spots` in the name of the brand represented polka dots loved by Charlotte, and `stripes` came from Hugo, of course. Ali still wanted to design for adults and run the boutique so she refused to open and run a factory producing children`s clothes. It would have taken too much time away from her family and that didn`t sit well with her at all. Instead, she signed a contract with a large company which bought her designs and produced the clothing in their factories. Alice was more than happy with the results and relieved that she`d avoided the massive business side of things.

Jasper continued lecturing at the university. His knowledge and enthusiasm for history along with his beautiful way with words and unquestionable personal charm won him admiration from his students and fellow professors alike. He and some of his students got invited to a local radio station to partake in a discussion on patterns in history and politics. The one off program got such great reviews and raised so much interest that the station continued with a series, often inviting Jasper into the discussion. A television station picked him up next and Professor Whitlock became a sort of a celebrity. He could be watched and listened to on the radio and a large national TV channel. Having always been particularly fascinated by the American Civil War, he finally felt confident and competent enough and began researching for his own book.

Carlisle retired from medicine and loved guest lecturing around the country, spending time with his grandkids and travelling the world with his beautiful wife when she wasn`t in the middle of some big project with her daughter-in-law Rose.

Edward loved his private practice; he`d definitely found his calling. He also supported me in my new adventure as a published author of short stories! I was jittery and anxious, but nothing could have prepared me for the feeling that filled my whole being when I first held my book in my hands. As if I were watching someone else`s life or stepped into someone else`s body. Edward pinched me w good few times so I could believe that the body was my own, just like the work that was disappearing from the shelves in book stores. There were so many new stories and ideas in me that I had no doubt that I wanted to share them with others. I had hindered myself and held back from publishing the first book, worried how it would be received. The moment it became reality though, that fear dissipated and its place was a home to joy of sharing and knowing that what I put my heart into others could feel in their own hearts.

At around the same time as Alice got the deal for "Spots and Stripes" and she was considering opening a small factory to saw the clothes, we joked about neon signs and I had a recurring dream about a gold plate with my own name on it. After a week or two I told Edward about that dream and he said that maybe my subconscious mind was trying to tell me something about my own new career.

I was interviewed by a local paper and asked if I had plans to translate my short stories into other languages, just like I had translated the "Behind the Blue Door" series from Italian. I said that if there was interest, I would be happy to do it myself. Edward suggested that something wanted to tell me to get my translator certification in German and open my own business. I did just that. I became a German translator, dusted my Italian and French ones and opened a small office close to home, with a gold plate on the door with my name on it, just like in my dreams.

Our lives were full of surprises and interesting coincidences and I learned to expect the unexpected to happen. Time was proving that the adults in the family were as likely to come up with something new and reinvent themselves as the children. I often laughed that nothing fazed me anymore when it came to our crowd. I was wrong.

As it became clear in the spring of two thousand and sixteen, I underestimated the ability to surprise or even shock us all, in my own father. Well, he had an accomplice, but nevertheless, I attribute the turn of events to his ability to (finally!) go for what he really wanted and join our sickeningly happy club of sickeningly happy couples ; -)

Just days before the publishing of my second book I went for an interview on the radio in Port Angeles and my Dad asked if I could swing by Forks to see him and… someone special he wanted me to meet, in his own words. I couldn`t believe that after a long time again, some woman captured my father`s heart. I was well used to thinking that Charlie Swan was `uncatchable`. My Mom was the only one who he had truly loved and I was intrigued who the evidently remarkable lady was. I knew she was unique, because making my Dad fall in love in his late fifties could only be done by a really uncommon individual.

After my mother divorced Phil, the little girl in me secretly hoped for a classic old Hollywood reunion between my parents. A little part of me imagined my Mom and Dad running towards each other in pouring rain, their lips locking, their hand entwining and their hearts singing of their everlasting love for one another. The ending of "Breakfast at Tiffany`s" would have been the ending of my choice…

I saw the Blacks first and was bursting with questions each time I saw their mysterious smiles at the mention of my father. Leah`s Mom Sue recently remarried and left Forks, so Charlie getting back with Sue wasn`t an option. I had to admit, I would have liked that one; I thought that Sue and Charlie were good together in their days.

So I left the cryptically grinning people right before lunch and drove down the familiar roads to my Dad`s house. The closer I got there, the louder my heartbeat became.

The day was surprisingly sunny and warm for early April. The town was quite busy. I remembered when I first arrived to live with Charlie many years previous. I was seventeen and I thought that Forks was dull and boring. But it had grown throughout the years and developed nicely. It was still a small town, but bursting with life.

I took the last right turn and parked the car. The curtain in the kitchen window moved and seconds later my Dad stood in the front door.

"Hi, Dad. Am I too early?"

"No, you`re right on time. Lunch will be ready in twenty minutes," he answered as I approached him. "Hi, baby girl," he hugged me.

I walked into the house on weak legs, expecting to be welcomed by some strange woman, but all was quiet.

"Are you alone?" I asked.

"Just for a few minutes. We forgot whipping cream for dessert."

_Oh, and _she_ went to get it, I understand._

I sat in the armchair in the living room. There was some strangely familiar feeling surrounding the place. I couldn`t put my finger on it, but I was comfortable with it.

"Dad, I have questions."

"I thought you would," he looked me in the eyes, ready to go on.

"Who is she? I mean, we`re talking about a woman, right? What`s her name? Is she from Forks? How long have you been together? How did it all happen?"

"OK, easy, Bells, easy!" My Dad laughed. "I`m sure you`ll answer most of your own questions when you see her. I can tell you how it all happened. About five months ago I got invited to a long term friend`s wedding anniversary in Port Angeles…"

"And she was there too…" I added.

"Yes, she was. The couple who celebrated their anniversary used to live in Forks and I went to Forks High with the man. His wife is two years younger. They invited a whole group of people from high school and we reminisced a lot," he weighed his words.

_He was with Mom then. Must be painful to remember that._

"So, you and the mysterious lady have been together for five months already? And I didn`t meet her at Christmas?"

Charlie opened his mouth wanting to say something but then he gave up.

"It`s a little more… complex than that, Bella," he let out eventually. "You`ll understand it soon, I promise."

"Do you love her?" I couldn`t believe I`d just asked my Dad that question.

"I do," Dad stated. "I never would have thought that I would talk to my own daughter about my own feelings, especially now at my age, but yes, Bella, I do. She`s the love of my life."

_The love of his life…_

I could feel the last romantic image of my parents together deflate and distort in my mind. I swallowed thickly. I`d heard throughout the years that my parents were madly in love when they married and had me, so I never doubted that I was wanted and cherished. It was just sad that my little hands didn`t glue their hearts together forever.

It was time to be a big girl again.

"Then I`m happy for you, Dad."

The awkward moment when Dad was forming his words got broken by a sound of a car pulling into the driveway.

_She`s here._

I watched as my Dad smiled to himself nervously but didn`t make his way to the door to open it.

A key slipped into the lock.

_Of course, she has the key!_

"Hello?" A female voice called from the hall. "Charlie? Bella?"

I froze before I saw the figure that appeared in front of me.

"Mom? Mom, what are you doing here?"

_Oh my god, my father`s lover is about to come in and my Mom comes in? God, does she know?_

My heart travelled up to my throat and thumped like crazy in a huge lump.

_Charlie, do something, for crying out loud!_

And then my eyes rested on the container of whipping cream in her hand.

"Bella, baby, are you OK?" All of a sudden my Mom`s face was right next to mine. I hadn`t seen her walking towards me. "She`s going to faint, Charlie. Open the window, honey."

_What? Honey?_

"Mom, I`m fine… just… I don`t know what happened. I`m.. I`m OK," I shook my head and commanded my mind to stay focused.

"I know this is quite confusing and shocking to you…" She cooed to me warmly and turned to my father again. "Did you tell her?"

"Not much. I just told her that we met at the party five months ago," Dad responded with a concerned smile.

That smile could melt ice, I swear. And my Dad, _MY DAD_, directed it to _MY MOM_!

_What the hell?_

"OK, slowly!" I said. "One more time. Mom," I took a deep breath, "are you the lady we`re waiting for? Was I supposed to meet… you?"

She nodded.

I looked at her. I looked at him.

"Are you…?" I whispered.

"Together?" My Dad added. "Yes, Bella."

_The love of his life, he said. Oh my god!_

"Oh my god," I breathed out quietly.

"I know it`s a lot to take in," my Mom continued.

_You think?_

"But we hope you like the surprise," came from Charlie.

"The feeling was always there," my Mom said, sitting on the couch beside me. Dad took a seat opposite me on the puff chair. "When I moved to Seattle, we would see each other in your house, we communicated regarding Christmas and birthday presents for your children. And then one day I called your Dad just because I wanted to hear him. We became friends again, like many years ago in high school and then in the late fall last year we happened to go to the same party in Port Angeles. This couple who we know from high school celebrated their anniversary and we both got invited, completely independently. I didn`t even know that Charlie was coming until he told me over the phone two days beforehand. He was looking for a gift and called me for advice."

"Like I told you earlier," Dad continued, "There was a lot of talking about the past that night at the party. Someone said those were such fantastic times back in high school, times of tasting life, of choice and freedom. And your Mom and I both realized that although some time had passed, we still had a choice, we were still free to taste life and love who we wanted to love and be with who we wanted to be."

"And whatever time we have left, we want to spend it together," Mom finished.

"Wow," I managed to let out before the tears spilled.

My Mom proceeded to wipe them from my face. "Oh, Bella, honey, don`t cry, baby. It`s OK, there`s no need for tears."

But there was. I was a little girl again, looking for Daddy when only Mommy was around, and wanting Mommy when I only had Daddy with me. Never two of them together. So, I needed to cry for her. I wanted to hold that little girl in me and tell her that everything was OK, because Mommy and Daddy were here with me and they were smiling. And they would hold my hands together. And we would dance in the kitchen together. And we would eat dinner together, every day. And I would sneak into their big bed on a Saturday morning and we would have breakfast in bed and we would watch cartoons. Together. Because my Mommy and Daddy are together. Because my Mommy and Daddy love each other…

So, I cried. Big, crocodile tears cascaded down my cheeks and onto my clothes as my parents hugged me closely. Together. I cried for the baby who never saw her Daddy`s face leaning over her crib at night time. And she cried her baby tears for him so much.

I cried for the pre-schooler girl whose friends looked at her funny because she didn`t have a daddy. She kept telling them that she did have a daddy but he lived far away, but it didn`t help much.

I cried for the child whose daddy lived too far away to come watch her school plays and sport events. Maybe that`s why she wasn`t very good at sports.

I cried for the teenager who came to live with her Dad and it was as awkward as could possibly be. She missed her Mom so much. Talking about periods with Dad? Ew. She wanted to tell her Mom about a cute boy in school who didn`t pay attention to her. She wanted her Mom to meet Jacob. She wanted to blush but at the same time tell her Mom about her first kiss… Not over the phone or a computer camera. Face to face.

And I cried for the woman whose father missed the birth of his granddaughters and only saw them for the first time when they were already a few weeks old. Only her mother was around again.

"They`re happy tears," I sobbed in the end. I wasn`t the only one with a wet face.

We had lunch _together_ and only then I looked around the house and saw some of my Mom`s items. Her scarf on the chair in the living room, her favorite teabags in the kitchen, the scent of her perfume permeating the air…

Still astounded, I called Edward before travelling back to Seattle that evening. I told him he wasn`t going to believe what had happened, but he`d have to wait till I got home.

"WOW!" He exclaimed when he heard the story the next morning.

"More like `holy shit!`!" I laughed.

"This is just… incredible, Bella. I`m floored. But at the same time I have to say that I`m not that… I don`t know what to call it, shocked, I guess. It`s as clear as the sun that your parents belong together. I`m so happy for them and for you, baby. I`m so glad that they made their way back to each other."

"At long fucking last!" I agreed cheerily.

"Well, I was going to say that they took their sweet time, but I like your description too," he winked at me.

"I`m just so high on emotions now. It`s indescribable, Edward. I feel like I`m put back together, completely. Now I have everything. Everything and then some more. Like I`ve got my ground back, you know?"

"Congratulations."

"Thank you. And I`m so glad that you and I took our chance when we got it and our daughters won`t ever have to feel anything like that in their lives. I didn`t go around crying every day of my life over my parents` split, but this subconscious pain was there, dormant."

"I understand," Edward kissed me on the forehead. "What`s going to happen now though? Your Mom lives in Seattle and Dad`s in Forks…"

"Most likely Mom will move back to Forks. There are health centers in Forks and Port Angeles where she can move her practice and organize courses and things like that."

"Again, wow."

Surprise, surprise, it didn`t happen. I mean, Mom and Dad stayed together, but Mom didn`t move to Forks. Instead, Charlie shocked us all once again by retiring from police and moving to Seattle with Renèe!

When the day of Edward and mine anniversary arrived in August, I thought we would have a great family barbecue party and my parents arriving together, brushing against each other and holding hands when they thought nobody was watching couldn`t be beaten by anything else.

But when I saw Edward and Charlie exchanging some secret signals I simply asked myself `what now?`

My Dad raised a toast in the honor of Edward and I and spoke of family, love and commitment. And then he said how proud he was of me, his little girl, who loved so deeply and powerfully. He added that he hoped that what he was about to do would do justice to my and my husband`s special day. Edward nodded in agreement and Charlie silenced all the Cullens and the Whitlocks by kneeling down in front of my Mom.

I gasped loudly and tears sprang to my eyes right on the spot.

As my husband held me steady, I watched what most children don`t witness. I watched my Dad propose to my Mom. He put a ring on her finger and hugged her tightly. And she said `yes`.

And then he kissed her. Everybody watched and they didn`t care. There was nobody else in the world but them. The child in me hopped and danced and I smiled like a fool.

"Looks like someone`s got his girl," Edward whispered into my ear.

"Again, at long fucking last," I giggled quietly.

"I thought we could get married next month, on Bella`s birthday," my freshly engaged Dad suggested aloud and my Mom winked in agreement.

"And everybody is invited!" Charlie bellowed.

"Wouldn`t miss that one for the world, sir!" Emmett clunk his champagne flute with my father and we laughed.

A month later I witnessed my own parents` wedding and I sent them on their honeymoon all the way to Italy. And, much to Edward`s amusement, I forbade him from mentioning my parents` names and the connotations of the word `honeymoon` in one sentence! Talk about embarrassment!

Once they were back though, Esme helped them redecorate apartment which wasn`t only Mom`s anymore now. Dad sold the house in Forks to Seth and his young wife so the special place went into good hands. I loved talking about my parents, my parents` place, what my parents were doing, where my parents were going. My parents together. It felt so good, so right.

Another year passed and I one miserable, rainy day I received a phone call from Gianna who informed me that she`d been contacted by a major movie company regarding the filming of the "Behind the Blue Door" series! They wanted to turn the books into a Harry-Potter-move-over franchise! I was only the translator of the books but Gianna said she`d need my help if the plan went forward. I would be co-creating the scripts with her and a screenwriter chosen by the studio. She spoke English but not enough to trust herself with writing something so significant, and I had a good insight into her thoughts and feelings regarding the characters in the books.

Surely, the studio went ahead and I got myself into another whirlwind. As our team started turning the first book into a script, the intense casting of young kids swept through agencies and schools in a few states, including Washington.

I got frantic calls from Alice and Rose who received a letter from Hugo and Henry`s school about a casting being held in their school as well. Both boys loved the books and although I had nothing to do with the casting process, I had imagined them as two particular characters in the whole series a long time earlier, when I was translating the books. I knew they would embody the two boys from the books splendidly.

Three months into the process the script was complete and incredibly, both Hugo Whitlock and Henry Cullen were both shortlisted for the characters in the first film. The directors were choosing three boys out of the final fourteen…

But that`s a whole different story ; -)

**A/N: So? Catch a breath and let me know what you think, if you like : -) **

**I`ll see you soon for the last time!**


	37. Chapter 37

**So, here we are, for the last time… I think it took me so long to complete this story because as much as I wanted to remain unaffected, it slipped its way under my skin and I simply didn`t want to say goodbye to this family.**

**To my beta reader and dear friend bethroann, thank you so, so much for your patience, encouragement and dedication. I definitely wouldn`t have done it so confidently without you, darling, and I believe we`ll be working together again soon!**

**And to all of You who have read, reviewed, recommended this story, who added it to your alerts and favourites – you have made one of my biggest dreams come true. I hug you all and thank you ever so much for this wonderful experience.**

**I have ideas for outtakes and more stories, so I`m sure we`ll meet again : -)**

**The album has been updated; use the links on my profile for some visuals if you wish.**

**And now, let`s jump into the future as Bella completes her story, shall we?**

**Chapter 37 BPOV Epilogue**

**The Golden Girls and Boys**

"How is she? How did it go?" Rose jumped of off her chair in the hospital hallway as soon as she spotted a doctor.

"So far so good, " the man answered and looked around at all of us. "The next several days will be crucial. She needs plenty of rest."

"OK, thank you, doctor," Lucy added and rubbed her mother`s arm for comfort.

"The transplant has been successful and all we can do now is wait for Laura`s body to have a positive response. There`s nothing else to do here today. You should all go home and relax," the surgeon said.

Slowly, we nodded at the doctor and each other, and began walking out of the ward.

"Do you think she`s gonna be alright?" I asked Edward in the car.

"Her husband showed me her health history and the most recent blood tests. She had never been hospitalized before except for the births of her sons. She`s in a very good shape, Bella and theoretically, she is a dream bone marrow recipient."

"I know I`ve asked you all those questions before, I`m sorry," I sighed and looked at him warmly. "But it calms me down when you reassure me."

My husband smiled. "I know, Honey and that`s no problem at all. Just think how much medicine has moved forward in the last twenty, thirty years. The flu, cancer, diabetes, look how easily they`re dealt with these days. It`s year two thousand and thirty eight after all. And we understand the power of the mind. I`m more than sure that Laura will be just fine."

"So, her early drug abuse doesn`t affect her health now?"

"As far as I know, she drank a lot as a young woman, but drugs were never really her thing, besides they would have been too expensive. She drank a lot of cheap wine, but for her own good, she didn`t have the money for drugs, plus she was violently sick each time she tried them."

"And thank God she did."

"I agree."

"And you know, Rose and Emmett amaze me yet again. The way they have been handling the situation… I don`t know what I would have done. "

"You would have done the same thing, Bella," he admitted pulling into the driveway.

"Then you know me better than I know myself," I smiled.

"And I love you," Edward winked.

"I love you, too," I flirted back and turned to open the car door as Edward`s hand covered mine and stopped me from moving. His handsome face along with his smouldering eyes, were two inches from my own.

"Wanna fool around before we go to see our grandbabies?" He offered sultrily.

"How much time do we have?"

"Plenty. About three hours."

"Great. How about a bath and a massage together?" I raised my brow.

"I`ll meet you upstairs in ten minutes," he breathed out and kissed the tip of my nose.

I was soooo looking forward to that! And to think that we desired each other so much after decades of marriage! Our intimacy has changed over the years. We are both still pretty fit and from time to time we let ourselves go crazy, but more often than that we enjoy a long sensual foreplay, a caress of a warm bath, a slow, exhilarating massage with essential oils, taking our time with a sexy `good morning` or reading an erotic story to one another. No fear of an unexpected visit from a wandering in the middle of the night youngster, no schedules, no rush. Just us.

Oh, the water`s warm and the bubbles smell lovely…

Sometime later, as we got back after dinner with our Rachel and her family, Maria and Riley popped in for a late night chat.

"Bella, honey, fill us in," Maria started. "Riley and I go away for a month and we come back to revelations like this. Who`s Laura and what does she have to do with your family?"

Edward filled our wine glasses and I began.

"Well, a couple of weeks ago Lily received a phone call from the blood donor center. She was on the national list of prospective bone marrow donors and she appeared to be a match for a middle aged female patient from Tacoma. As both ladies were tested further, it turned out that the patient was Lily and Henry`s birth mother!"

"Oh, dear Lord, really? Maria`s stunning brown eyes open wide.

"Really," I nodded.

"Unbelievable. What a twist of fate," Riley shook his head.

"We were all in shock."

"So, where has she been throughout the years?" His wife asked.

"After leaving the children on the doorstep of the orphanage many years ago, she followed her boyfriend, Henry and Lily`s father, to wherever he took fancy. Eventually, two years later, she found out that not only had he been unfaithful, but she also realized how disrespectful and completely indifferent she had been to him. She was foolishly in love, she had given up her parents, her studies, and even her children to satisfy him, and he simply couldn`t have cared less…"

As I told Laura`s story that Lily and Henry had shared with us, my mind drifted… I saw Laura as a young woman who suddenly realized the magnitude of her choices, and her subsequent loneliness.

Despite her seemingly hopeless situation something small inside her, some tiny, weak internal voice told her that not all was lost. As she begged for money on the streets one day, some stranger whose face she didn`t catch, along with some coins dropped a book at her feet. By the time she lifted up her tired head and wanted to call after the owner, she only saw a pair of sneakers disappearing round the corner. She concluded that she`d come to the same place every day and will take care of that book until its owner came back for it. For the next three weeks she sat on the ground in the same spot, waiting for someone to ask for the volume, but no one did. Countless pairs of sneakers flashed before her eyes each day, but none of them stopped. And secretly she was happy, because the book became her most prized possession. It was one of those self-help books that some many own but not many follow. As the author`s words of encouragement and faith in a stranger poured out of the pages, long overdue tears poured out of the young woman`s eyes. One day she tucked the book under her arms and walked to a shelter. In the morning, clean, warm and dry she sat by the window with her book, awaiting a social worker to talk to her. Much to her surprise the worker was her old school friend, Donna. Once they talked for a while, it was clear to Donna how lost Laura was and how much she wanted to get her old life back. She pulled some strings and Laura was allowed to do cleaning jobs for a free stay at the shelter. Then she was allocated a different social worker and Donna offered her to stay at her apartment so Laura could have a permanent address, find a job and save some money.

Six months passed and full of fear but even more hope, Laura re-joined college, continuing her studies in evening classes. She was very proud when she was able to rent a small apartment and started her first teaching job some time later. There, she fell in love and married a fellow teacher and they moved to Tacoma, where they welcomed two sons, William and Mark. Her husband knew everything about her past and encouraged Laura to try to find Henry and Lily, but she refused to meddle in their new life. The only information she acquired from the adoption agency was that the children were adopted together, and she was happy with the knowledge that Henry and Lily hadn`t been separated.

She thought of them and prayed for them, and tried to be the best mother to William and Mark. And she was; the two young men that we saw at the hospital were healthy, intelligent, caring and they loved their mother more than life itself. The two of them and their father kept to themselves for a while, carefully observing the inflow of the Cullens and Whitlocks into the hospital hall and family room. That was until Lily and Henry arrived. Shane, Laura`s husband looked instantly relieved. Having been introduced to Lily and Henry a few days earlier, he felt more in place against a rather large group of us.

Emmett nodded at Lily and she went to talk to her biological mother`s new family. After a minute, the three men walked towards us and we all got introduced. Rose squeezed Shane`s hand for comfort and I had to fight my tears, just like the man she was consoling. She lost her own baby many years ago, and then she lost the infant that she wanted to adopt. Now a few decades later, after she brought up and gave her heart and soul to Lily and Henry, their birth mother appeared and shook her family again. Still, it was she who sat beside Laura`s husband and told him that everything was going to be alright…

"So, what`s happening now? The operation was on today?" Maria`s voice broke through my thoughts.

"Yes, yes, it was," I blinked my eyes a few times to come back to the room. "We are waiting for Laura`s body to accept Lily`s bone marrow. The next ten days will show where we`re going."

"OK. And how do Lily and Henry feel about their mother coming back to their lives? And Rose and Emmett?"

"Surprisingly, Lily accepted it quicker and easier than Henry. She was obviously focusing on the procedure, medical tests, doctors` visits and such, so I think it`s only sinking in now that she probably saved her own mother`s life. But she was fine. When she learned who Laura was, she told the rest of the family the same day. Everybody was shocked, but there was a life to be saved, so they concentrated on that. Lily met with Laura a few days ago and Rose and Emmett saw her yesterday."

"And Henry?"

"Henry had a tough day or two. He says his reaction shocked him, especially given his job. He works with adoptive parents and children and tells them about forgiveness, but when he found himself in a similar position, his first reaction was that Laura could go to hell. He didn`t want anything to do with her."

"I guess being a psychologist and understanding people`s feelings and emotions doesn`t mean that they don`t affect him," Riley threw in.

"That`s exactly what he said," I agreed. "He struggled for two days and finally Rose got through to him. She told him that she and Emmett won`t feel any less of his parents if he decided to make amends with the woman who gave birth to him. Lily also told him that Laura had no intention of marching back into their lives and demanding to be treated like a mommy. That worked and Henry went to see her. She told him that it was too late for her to be his mother, besides he and Lily had the best mother and father a child could ask for, but maybe one day they could be friends."

"Aw, that`s really… nice," Maria said. "It`s probably not the best word, but yeah, I think it`s mature, wise and nice of her."

Edward smiled at our neighbor. "You`re right. And this was what won Henry over, the fact that Laura didn`t want anything from him and Lily, and she wasn`t going to compete with Rose and Emmett`s status as the rightful parents."

"You`re a wonderful family, guys, all of you," Maria added. "Rose, Emmett and their children are involved in the situation for obvious reasons, but you were all there at the hospital, you two, Alice and Jasper, and some of your children. You`re very inclusive."

"The family has just gotten bigger," Edward stated joyfully. "The more the merrier. Bella and I were re-connected in a way as well, thankfully after only two years. Laura made some choices as a young woman that hurt many people, but she also hurt herself. She put herself back together and is now a wife, a mother a teacher. Many years ago she fell in love with the wrong guy, but she refused for that to define her. Who are we to think differently? We hope she`s out of the hospital in time for our anniversary party, so you`ll meet her and her family" he added winking at me.

"Fantastic! Looking forward to it!" Riley joined his wife. "One more question, does she know anything about Lily and Henry`s father?"

"She found him as a married woman, but he barely recognized her. He was still living on the streets, having refused rehab and help numerous times. She reminded him that they had two kids together and told him that they had been adopted. He nodded in response and asked for money before she left. She never heard from or of him since. Maybe Henry and Lily will search one day, I don`t know."

Two weeks later, the day before our wedding anniversary, Edward was guiding our sons and sons-in-law where to place the tables in the backyard to fit all our guests while I was doing the last round of dusting. I smiled at the faces on the photos on the mantelpiece as I wiped them with a soft cloth.

Sophie. Our Little Wise Owl isn`t so little anymore. She`s a dental surgeon now, like Daddy and has just taken over his private practice. Alistair retired early and went to live in Florida, while Edward kept the whole practice. Our daughter worked with her Dad for some time and now he is withdrawing while Dr. Sophie Cullen is making a name for herself. Her husband, a general practitioner runs his own practice nearby and I delight in babysitting their two-year-old baby girl sometimes.

Rachel, still called by her sister `Chichi`. She also followed her Daddy`s footsteps, but in music. She is a professional musician and plays the piano and violin in a philharmonic orchestra. Her second son joined his three-year-old brother only a few months ago and in just a few weeks from now we will see Rachel walk the aisle to join her hand in marriage with her devastatingly handsome and loving-her-to-bits fiancè.

Thomas found a way to combine the passions for medicine with love for animals and became a vet. He`s working on his specialization right now and is going to focus on small, pet animals. We`re certain that any dog, cat, hamster or a parrot will be in the best of hands! He had more than enough practice with the plethora of pets that have gone through our house since he was a baby, that`s for sure. But, as surprises are this family`s tradition, Tom provided us with one not so long ago. He went to Forks to visit the Blacks at the same time when Mike Newton was there with his daughter Louise, visiting his mom. By chance (or maybe it was meant to be?) Tom and Louise met in some club and our son came back to Seattle with shiny, puppy eyes, grinning at his cell phone, re-reading texts and looking at photos. A few days later I got a call from Mike who said in the past it happened twice that a Newton boy never managed to get a Swan girl (his dad and my mom, and apparently Mike and I), but it looks like it works the other way round, a Swan boy swept a Newton girl off her feet! Sure, Tom is called Cullen and not Swan, but he`s my blood. Louise and Tom phone each other all the time, have met either in Seattle or Phoenix a few times and it looks like things are serious and delicious. Mike and I might be family soon, who knows? My son`s face glows when Louise is around and she`s coming to our party, enough said ;- )

Our baby Robbie, contrary to the other children, stepped into the shoes of a Swan, and Charlie Swan himself nonetheless! Although my dad was already retired when Robert was growing up, Grandpa`s cop stories and memories stuck with him and he loved listening to them while going fishing with his favourite grandparent. I wasn`t surprised and my Dad`s ego ballooned when Robert announced, already as a young boy, that he was going to be a policeman and furthermore, he wanted to live in Forks!

Forks is nothing like the tiny town that I remember from when I moved there at the age of seventeen. There are a good several thousand more people living there now, but it still has this sweet charm that I had eventually discovered and learned to appreciate. Our Robert is a bit of a romantic and while I believe that his decision to join the police forces was made many years ago, wanting to live in Forks might have something to do with the best friend of Amy Black, Jacob`s daughter. We`ve remained great friends with Jacob and Leah and have been in touch all those years. Our kids consider each other family. Last year Amy was invited to Robert`s birthday, however not wanting to travel to Seattle alone, she brought along her best friend and it seems that Amor hit both Robert and Kristen. She`s a beautiful brown-eyed girl who is studying literature and wants nothing more than to open her own book store in town. I think Mike Newton and I might help her with that when the time comes ;- )

Hugo Whitlock is no longer a little boy once called `Fugo` by his cute cousin Lucy. His brief adventure with acting in the "Behind the blue door" series of movies gave him great confidence and made him believe that the world was indeed his oyster; however he chose his love for science over show business. He`s a microbiologist now and when he isn`t spending time with his adorable young family, he`s sure to be found in his laboratory. It always strikes me how much he looks like Jasper. He has his father`s deep appreciation for science and education, and Alice`s mischievous grin. I`m sure this yummy combination was one of the factors in his wife`s choice to be with him. Their twins, five-year-old boy and a girl both have Hugo`s trademark dimples and bright blue twinkling eyes like Nana Alice.

Alice and Jasper`s daughter Charlotte `Bubble` took to fashion, but instead of runways, she chose to work in film and theatre and became a costume designer. She brushes shoulders with local and international stars and enjoys her job immensely, often sharing her new ideas with her equally excited Mom. Charlotte has her own little fashionista at home, her baby girl barely walks, but she loves touching fabrics and as we`ve all noticed, she already has favorite outfits.

Henry Cullen grew up to be a handsome devil with a gentle, caring and understanding heart. He also enjoyed his acting experience and is still recognized internationally as one of the kids from "The behind the blue door" movies, but, just like his cousin, he didn`t get bitten by the acting bug. Henry is a psychologist and works with adoptive families and their adopted children. He helps people realize that in a happy family blood is the least that matters, and the recent events of being re-connected with his biological mother have given him new understanding on parenthood and friendship. He repeats after some wise man that it`s not blood but the hearts that make us fathers and sons. He and his newly wedded wife have a son of their own but are sure to add more to their clan through biology and adoption alike.

Lily is a highly sought after life coach. She`s already expanding nationally and loving it. Seeing other people happy gives her joy and fulfilment. There was a little hiccup and a painful experience when she fell for a client and had to remain professional throughout the coaching process without letting him know that she had a soft spot for him. She cried her eyes out to her younger sister Lucy after each session with that man. Turns out he was as into her as she was into him and after their last session he asked her to step out of her office with him. She did and then he revealed that now, when their coach-client relationship is officially over, he can finally ask her out. That was two years ago and they`re going from strength to strength.

Sweet little Lucy has grown into a breath taking beauty, just like her Mom and sister. She is a financial advisor and the whole family reaps the benefits of having a quick, smart and sharp mind among us when it comes to managing our money. She isn`t immune to the matters of the heart though. She gave hers away to an equally smart and intelligent young man a few years back already. They met as students and have been together ever since. The engagement ring on Lucy`s finger makes us think they`re in for the long run.

And then we have Peter. Rose and Emmett`s younger son followed his Dad`s suit and delights Seattle and his family with his culinary talent. He made up his own recipes at the age of five already and there was never any doubt that Peter would be a chef. As a very young, barely twenty-one-year-old man he opened a bistro with a friend. They called it "The green orange" and it remains a very popular place especially amongst students, who pop in for a fancy sandwich, salad, pasta or pancakes. Peter is about to leave his first "baby" to take over ECLIPSE. Rose whispered to me last week that, according to Lucy, Peter has been performing `the walk of shame` out of the apartment of his business partner`s sister, a sweet girl who supplies both the bistro and the restaurant with the yummiest ice cream four times a week on average. I might be a grandma, but I think they might be doing some more than ice cream tasting together… ; -) Mmmm… We`re getting ice cream for the party from her, I wonder what Edward would say if I kept some just for us, for some alone time?

Oh, and here`s another photo. Us. Edward and I. My beautiful, sweet, wonderful man. My best friend. My one and only lover. My precious husband. Smiling, exciting, adventurous, tender, joyous… Edward. My Edward.

His laughter at our kids` pranks and antics.

His patience when I was tired or busy.

His whistling each time he painted our front door over the years.

His strong yet gentle arms around each of our grandbabies.

His soft, familiar, knowing and bold touch on my anxious and excited skin.

His smiles as he gave me my favorite freesias.

Our trips to Italy.

Our coffee and croissant mornings.

Our backrubs.

Our prides.

Our joys.

Our secrets.

Surprises.

Coincidences.

Edward and I.

So, tomorrow our parents, children, grandchildren and friends will come to eat, laugh and sing, all together again. Laura is out of the hospital and recovering beautifully. She`s coming to see us along with Shane, William and Mark. We`re very excited about getting to know the new family members better.

Tommy will collect Esme and Carlisle and Robbie will drive my parents to our house. Their hearing isn`t as good as it used to be, they have little aches here and there and walking long distances is a challenge, but the senior Cullens, Swans, Whitlocks and Hales are still with us, sharing old memories with the youngest in the clan and making new ones for days to come.

Alice, Rose and I will sip wine, planning our next trip to New York, to see some Broadway shows. Carlisle will call us "the golden girls" again and we will giggle like teenagers.

Later, I will find my parents sitting on the porch, holding hands amongst my cherished roses and lily of the valleys.

There will be laughter, great food, giggling babies and music.

There will be love.

Oh, how good it feels to have everybody back home!

THE END


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